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It was not that he had ever wanted to put this thought into practice, no. It was also not that he had ever thought that he of all people felt something like that. Or that it was something he was particularly proud of.
Eddie had never been normal, always been a freak. As a child, he had preferred to play alone, shunned by the other kids like water too deep. Over the years, however, that self-confidence had grown - had made him the Eddie Munson he was today. Satan's son, or whatever else the rich, popular pissants called him. He didn't care. Eddie loved that reputation, loved it when they screwed up their faces, when he looked at them, made faces at them. Loved the snorts, the annoyance, the twisted eyes. It was his stage, his throne. If he was an outsider, he was at least the king of the freaks.
But there was something Eddie wore underneath all this mask, this show. He had noticed it on a rainy Tuesday, the first time he had really looked at Steve. The rain had made Steve's hair wet, and Eddie had caught the exact moment when he had run with a sigh through his full head of hair. Yeah, that had been the moment. Steve Harrington had wiped the damn hair out of his forehead, and Eddie's body had reacted. Differently than he usually did. Heat, where was this damn heat coming from? That pounding in his chest? Eddie had just managed to look away as Steve had turned in his direction. Just barely, so damn close. Had grabbed the first movie he could get off the shelf and bent his head over the videotape.
He had felt Steve's gaze on him briefly, for a few moments. It burned the back of his neck more than the sun on a warm day. And Eddie didn't know what it was. Couldn't place it, and wondered - how the hell to even describe it. He dismissed it as indigestion, that strange feeling, and had left without a video.
He came back after a few days, rummaging through the shelves, trying not to be too conspicuous. It had to be noticeable that he came every few days without ever taking anything.
"You look like you're into horror." Eddie almost startled when he heard Steve's voice behind him. He turned, almost perplexed, and looked at him with raised eyebrows. Steve was smiling. He smiled, and something warm dug into Eddie's stomach.
Fuck.
"Do I look like it, huh?" he said then, nodding at Steve. Steve smiled, again, and nodded toward another shelf. Of course Eddie knew the movies there. All of them. He'd watched them at least ten thousand times, studied the covers - just so he'd have something to do other than stare at Steve.
"Yeah, a little bit. So, if I were you - I'd watch the Halloween series. Really good." Steve's voice was pleasant, slightly raspy, and Eddie liked the sound of it. He laughed softly.
"I've seen them all."
"Then I can recommend the new one that's in theaters."
"Hmm, I hate cinemas."
"Hate it, huh? I don't. I can really recommend it."
"Maybe-"
Steve raised his eyebrows, looked at Eddie. And Eddie? Eddie swallowed the sentence he'd been about to say. Just swallowed it, along with his humor.
"Nothing at all. Thank you anyway." he said, and left.
And on the way back, he still wondered why he kept running away from it, again. It was a simple question. One damn, simple question, and it struck Eddie as worse than anything he had ever wanted to do in his life.
***
They got along well. It was the magic, the easy-going, that Eddie had always wanted - and had never believed Steve to be. Steve had always been like Chrissi to him, unattainable, one of the rich and beautiful, college boys. But Steve was different. He laughed a lot, and Eddie contorted inside for that laugh.
There was only one thing he didn't like: it was the looks Steve sometimes gave Nancy.
***
For once, the day Eddie didn't run away was a Thursday. He had just finished the last meeting of the Hellfire Club, was walking around town in the dark. And his feet carried him back to the video store. Steve was still inside, though it was dark outside. Eddie could see through the glass of the window that he was sorting something behind the counter, and he could see the crease between his eyebrows even through that distance. Was he distraught? Was he stressed? Eddie didn't know.
And he didn't think, not even once, when his fingers were already reaching for the handle of the store, cool and wet from the evening.
Steve lifted his head as Eddie stepped into the store. He put on his smile, greeting Eddie as he always did, but Eddie didn't stop.
His heart was beating up to his throat as he walked towards Steve, his lungs nearly burst with excitement from not breathing. A nervous tingle ran through his entire body as he grabbed Steve by the collar of his shirt, roughly, and pulled him close to kiss him.
Eddie had never thought about kissing being like that. Somehow fierce, arousing, and so intense that it truly sent vertigo through his bones. He could feel Steve stiffening. Could feel exactly that Steve's body didn't know where to put it, where to put this force, this feeling. But Eddie stifled it. He pressed his lips harder on Steve's, stealing his breath, this no that was guaranteed to lie dormant somewhere. Eddie just kissed it away, hard, urging. And only then did he let go of Steve, stared into those wide-open eyes, and was able to breathe again.
An eternity packed into seconds of ticking time, silence so biting before Eddie finally regained consciousness, gasped, looked away.
"'m sorry," he pressed out, and before Steve could say anything, berate Eddie, he disappeared. Outside, it was raining cats and dogs. But Eddie didn't mind. When he arrived home, he was soaked to the bone.
***
He didn't see Steve for days, a week, two weeks. He didn't go to the video store either, because he was afraid of what would be lurking there. He didn't want to see Steve's look, his eyes, his shocked face. He didn't want to read that name in it, Freak, didn't want to and couldn't. He played it down, like he always did. He ran away. Like he always did.
***
It was three weeks and two days, and Eddie was sitting out by the lake when suddenly someone sat down next to him. Eddie didn't look up, just nodded, staring holes in the water. The voice next to him sighed softly, and Eddie thought it was Dustin.
"You could have asked me, first."
Shock ran through Eddie's limbs, and though he recognized him immediately, he didn't dare move his gaze to the side. Nor could he have, not like that, for his body suddenly seemed to weigh several tons. Now he smelled it too, it was Steve, Steve and his warm musk, and somehow there was always the smell of rain clinging to him.
Eddie opened his mouth, wanting to say something, something cool, something loose, but nothing came out. He could feel Steve staring at him, don't run away now!, his head said, and Eddie tilted his head slightly. He was only half looking at Steve. The eyes were driving him crazy. That face, framed by that soft hair.
Steve smiled slightly. "There's a new movie on Tuesday. You'll like it."
Eddie snorted softly, his face like fire. "I don't like going to the movies."
"I didn't say it had to be at the movies, did I?"
They looked at each other, and Eddie suddenly understood. He could read it, feel it, taste it in the warm air, even as his face continued to burn.
"I'm sorry 'bout-"
"It's okay, really."
"I actually meant to ask sooner, I was really... nervous as fuck."
His laugh. Eddie loved that laugh, and finally managed to return it for once without feeling like an idiot. The king actually liked to laugh, didn't he?
"Really? You?"
"What's that supposed to mean, huh?"
"The King of Freaks is never nervous."
Eddie licked his lips, emitted an amused snort.
"Oh yeah, he is."
Steve.
There were nights when Eddie tossed from left to right, unable to sleep, his heart full of worry. But this night, that he knew, he would sleep as if on clouds.