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Wille (13:08) : I did it!
I came out!!!!!!
Well sort of, I said I didn’t want to put a label but that I’m definitely not straight :)
I also told them about you and to respect your privacy
It felt so fucking liberating, I couldn’t have done this without you <3
Wille (14:52) : The article will be out this afternoon
Just to let you know!
Wille (20:37) : Hey I tried to call you but you didn’t pick up, you must be having dinner or hanging out with friends!
No worries, just call me when you can, okay?
Wille (23:16) : Simon?
xx
Simon felt numb.
Hearing the words Ayub read out loud into the lively living room was like a knife straight to the heart. “The Crown Prince says ‘that’s not me in the video.’...”
What happened to “they didn’t do anything wrong”? That they were in this together?
Numb.
After Ayub left to go home, he turned off his phone and laid down on the sofa, the TV in front of him playing a show that he couldn’t even be bothered to pay attention to. “Mi amor?” called Linda from the other room.
He saw his mama enter the living room and kneel down in front of him, a hand rubbing up and down his arm in comfort, “Qué más quieres? Quieres galletitas, zumo, soda…?” she asked with a smile, trying to cheer her son up. “No, gracias,” he answered, sending her a small smile of his own, too exhausted to even think about food. “Estás seguro?” He nodded, feeling his heart fill with warmth from her support. “Eres fuerte, Simon, todo va a estar bien.”
She went back into the kitchen to finish the washing up, leaving Simon in the living room, once again alone with his thoughts.
What happened, Wille…
A lone tear fell onto the plush cushion beneath him.
xx
Lightning filtered through the living room window, waking Simon up from his deep sleep.
He could hear the heavy rain outside fall against the house, thunder soon filling the silent walls surrounding him. He squinted and saw the TV in front of him still playing, illuminating the room in a light blue light. He reached for his phone that was on the floor –with no cracks on the screen, thankfully– and tapped on it.
But it didn’t turn on.
Oh. Right. He turned it off after hearing the news.
He looked up and saw the clock on the wall, its hands pointing at the numbers 6 and 10, making it almost seven in the morning.
He tightened his hold on the fluffy blanket on top of him, not letting it fall off his body as he stood up. He silently walked towards his room, trying not to make any noise, even though the uproar of the rainstorm outside would be more disturbing than his sock cladded feet on the hardwood floor.
Once he was inside his bedroom, he turned his phone on and threw it on the bed, basking in the yellow glow from his fish tank.
He took a deep breath, picking up the small cylindrical bottle resting on his desk containing the food for his pet fish and threw them a few bits and pieces for the night.
“Olle.” A chin on his shoulder.
“Oski.” Movement behind his neck from one shoulder to the other, leaving a feather-like touch on his skin, setting a raging fire inside him.
“Felle.” Arms wrapped around him, followed by a soft kiss against his neck.
He shook his head, rubbing his hands against his face furiously, trying to get rid of any thoughts of him . Taking another deep breath, he changed into his pyjamas and got into the comfort of his own bed…
and saw the phone on the pillow next to him light up.
He knows he shouldn’t, that it would be better if he rested for a few more hours before checking his phone, but he was nowhere near sleepy and in a state of mind to not think about it.
It was the only thing he could think about.
Entering the password, he waited for a couple of minutes before the notifications finally came to a stop, nearly heating up his phone during the time. He looked over them, only interested in the ones that mattered. He removed the Instagram ones, not caring for them, and then saw a few messages from his, Ayub and Rosh’s group chat, asking if he was okay, even though Ayub already saw him earlier.
His eyes then caught on another name.
Wille
10 messages and 3 missed calls
He sighed and closed his eyes, pressing his forehead against his phone, getting mentally prepared for this.
Lord, give me strength
But that was apparently not necessary, or at least not for what he thought he needed strength for.
Because once he opened the messages, he instantly felt confused. What the hell?
He went to google and opened the online article that was published almost twelve hours ago, trying to make sense of everything, but the same damn words that his friend read out loud were staring right back at him.
One thing was clear, something wasn’t right.
He pressed the call button before he could second guess himself, and in less than three seconds, a panicked voice travelled through the device, “Simon? Simon, are you there? Are you okay?”
“I-” His voice got caught up in his throat, not sure how to answer that question. Was he okay? “I honestly don’t know,” he finally answered in a small voice, “ Simon? ” Wilhelm tentatively asked again. “I just… I-I don’t understand, you're telling me a different story to the one the article says.” Deep down he knew that Wille wouldn’t lie, that wasn't him, so there was something obviously very wrong here.
There was silence from the other side, and after a few seconds, he could hear deep breathing, “What do you mean?” He could feel the anxiety spiking through the phone, wanting nothing more than to be beside him and comfort him, but he first wanted to clear all this up and find out what the hell happened between the interview and the publishing of the article. “Wille, have you read it?”
“Uh, yeah,” he cleared his throat, trying to hide the emotions from his voice, “Yeah, they showed me a preview a few minutes after the interview. Miss Rosenqvist the interviewer congratulated me for being brave and honest about everything once we finished, she was really nice, and then I saw her speaking with mama when I went up to my room.”
Once Simon knew that he had finished, he assured him to remain calm, “I’ll send you the article that Ayub showed me.”
God this had to be a fucking joke. He was 99% sure that the queen was behind this… this… he didn’t even know what to call this situation.
Fucked up would be an appropriate description though in his opinion.
He took a deep breath to slow down his heartbeat, trying to calm down, for his and Wilhelms' benefit. It would be no good if he got angry right now, even if it was with the goddamn ruler of this country.
Once he found it again, he quickly sent Wilhelm the link and waited for his response, knowing that he would need time to process it.
“ Fuck. ”
Fuck was right.
“Wille-”
“ But I... I didn’t…” his breathing was getting harsher, making Simon wish even more that he was there with him, able to hold him in his arms , “these aren’t my words… I didn’t say any of this! ”
“Wille, take a deep breath, please.” He thought he listened, but after a few seconds his voice travelled through the phone once again, “ Simon… Oh my god Simon this wasn’t me, I swear I told them the truth! ”
“Wille! Relax! I believe you, okay? You don’t have to worry about that.” A muffled sob came through the speaker, his heart constricting when hearing it. “Wille?“
After a few seconds it seemed like he had calmed down, but still sounded like his mind was racing a hundred kilometres per hour. Could he blame him, though?
“ She wouldn’t, ” it was so quiet that Simon barely heard it, his voice sounding even more devastated now, “Oh my god she… she fucking would. ”
“Wille? Are you okay?” he asked, worried about his comments. “God Simon, I’m so sorry, I didn’t know they would do that, ” he heard movement, probably him getting up from his bed, “ I- I need to make this right, I will make this right, Simon. ” He felt his heart fill with warmth when hearing those words, knowing that Wille cared so much for him. “Thank you, and I meant what I said yesterday, you are really brave, mitt hjärta.” He knew that Wilhelm’s cheeks were probably getting red from the pet name, making him look adorable.
Then, he heard Wilhelm laugh, “ Thank you, ” his voice still sounded a bit rough after crying, but his laughter made Simon feel hopeful that he was going to be okay, that they were going to be okay, “ And thank you for believing me. ”
Oh, Wille…
“No need to thank me, thank you for telling the truth,” and he really meant it.
“ But I failed, ” he sounded so dejected in that moment, talking as if all this was his fault.
And he couldn’t be more wrong.
“No, Wilhelm, this isn’t on you, okay? This is not your fault.” He really wanted to hug him, make him feel better and realise that he wasn’t the problem, he was never the problem, “I just wish I was there with you right now.”
“ Yeah, me too. ” Another laugh. Good. “ Or better yet I wish I was there with you in your cozy room, and not in this shell of a palace I have to call home. ”
Hearing him talk about his “home” like that, like he had no emotional connection to it, broke his heart. “Yeah, you’re right about that, that would be much better,” he agreed with him. “Although, I am curious about what your room looks like,” he added seriously, but with a smile on his face, “do you perhaps have a diamond chandelier above your bed?” he teased, trying to make Wilhelm laugh again.
He felt relieved when he succeeded, “ No, but I do have a thousand thread egyptian cotton sheets, ” he teased back.
Oh
It showed that he knew his audience very well. “Goddamn it, Wille, you better take some to Hillerska so that I can try them.” He imagined he would sleep like a baby on those sheets, and with Wilhelm beside him, it could probably become his best sleep yet.
“ Okay, ” Wilhelm agrees, “ for sleeping or… ”
Oh my god
“No!” he whisper-screamed, trying not to wake up his mum or sister this early, “get your head out of the gutter, Your Highness.”
“ Sure, ” it was obvious he didn’t believe him. He knew him too well.
“But, if you want, we can try that too,” Simon added nonchalantly, shrugging even though Wilhelm couldn’t see him.
“ Sounds good. ” He said quickly, probably with a deep red blush on his cheeks once again.
He laughed, feeling the anxiety wash away from his system after clearing the air with him.
“ Simon, I’m sorry but I need to go. I need to talk to Kristina. ” He didn’t sound pleased at all, dreading the talk he would have to have with her. Simon couldn’t even begin to imagine what Wilhelm must be feeling in that moment, knowing that your own mum chose to reassure the people of this country that The Crown Prince was “straight” instead of letting her son be who he actually was.
He prayed that it would go well. “Okay,” he had so many things to say, too many things for the little time they had, so he let him go, knowing that he needed to talk with her as soon as possible.
He could tell him later anyway, “You are so brave, Wille, remember that.”
He heard a shuddering breath on the other side, “ Tack, älskling . ”
Wille,
I love you, I hope you know
“Talk to you later.”
I do know
“ Yeah, bye Simon. ”
“Bye.”
He heard more thunder in the distance, and then, silence.
xx
Kristina usually got up at six in the morning, so it wasn’t a total surprise when Wilhelm saw light filtering underneath the doors leading to her office, probably signing some papers that she read thoroughly. Which also meant that she was in Queen mode, and that was how she was going to respond to him once he entered; not her son Wilhelm, but the young Crown Prince who still needs to learn how to be perfect and hide his flaws.
He knocked once, out of little respect that he still had for her in that moment, knowing full well it was all going to disappear after this talk.
Without Kristina's permission to enter, he opened the door and walked towards her desk, furious, which made her look up, “Wilhelm, you’re supposed to be going back to Hillerska, what are you doing here?”
He ignored her question.
“How dare you?” His voice was hard and cold, not a tone Kristina had ever heard, at least directed towards her, “How dare you change the article, you had no right!”
Her face changed from shock to recognition, now fully understanding why Wilhelm was there at seven in the morning on a Sunday, “I did what was best for the Crown, which was supposed to be your duty during yesterday's interview, I gave you your chance and you didn’t take it.”
Wilhelm scoffed, not surprised by the answer, but still wishing she would change for just a moment, for him, for her goddamn son. “You didn’t for a second think what was best for me? For Simon? For the people who are like me!? ”
She didn’t say anything, just kept staring at him, a look of pure disappointment and discontent.
He turned towards the window, the dark sky lightly graced by the morning's sun, a fraction of the light entering the big windows of the office, “Good to finally know I mean nothing to you.”
She sighed, standing up while patting down her skirt, even though she knew it didn’t have a seam out of place, “You know that’s not true, Wilhelm, I did this for you.”
“No,” he said in a broken voice, shaking his head, “No, you did it for The Crown Prince, for the future king, not for me.” She still stood there, hands clasped in front of her, as if this was a useless meeting with the prime minister and not her only child.
“So what was the point of the interview? You could’ve just fed them lies along with your bribes and left me out of it, why involve me?”
This seemed to wake her up and show emotion, glaring straight at him, “Because we agreed on what you were going to say, and then you decided to throw all of that away for a meaningless crush on a boy!”
A meaningless…
“Simon means everything to me! He made being at Hillerska bearable, he was there for me when Erik died even when I was pushing him away!” he screamed, not caring if he shared too much in the moment, “He saw me for me , not my title.”
The silence was deafening, making him feel even more tired after trying to reason with her, trying to make her see that what she did was wrong.
She took a step closer, stopping at the edge of her huge wooden desk made of agar, golden accents running along the intricate legs. “You wouldn’t be able to rule this country with a man by your side, you know that, especially with someone with his… background.”
Wilhelm saw red. “You did not just say that.”
“Oh I don’t mean his skin colour, Wilhelm! I meant his involvement with drugs. What kind of image are you setting up by going out with a boy who has a drug addict dad.”
He caught himself before he responded with something he might regret, like saying he himself has taken drugs in the past, mostly courtesy of August. “His dad doesn’t define who he is.”
“But it does if he’s going to be in the media! They will dig up his life just like I did because it is that easy.”
Wilhelm knew that. He knew how the media would try to find the next best scoop and dig up every single detail on the prince's new “fling” –just like how they liked to call it–, they would find every photo, every detail and then publish it for all the public to see, with no shame whatsoever.
And Simon didn’t want that, nor did he.
So he did something that he had been thinking about for quite some time now, making The Queen become speechless once again, “Then I’ll abdicate.”
The shock on Kristina’s face was like nothing he had ever seen before, her pale skin turning even whiter, “You’ll what?”
“I’ll abdicate.”
“You aren’t serious?”
“Very.”
“You cannot abdicate!” she raised her voice, taking another step towards him.
“I have every right to,” he retaliated, lifting up his chin and moving his shoulders back, trying to convey that bravery that Simon saw in him, “Just like I have every right to be with the one I love, regardless of who they are, and I will publish my correct answers from the interview in some way or another, whatever the cost.”
That made her pause, worry flashing through her eyes, but not for him. Never for him.
She took a step back this time, trying to distance herself from the boy in front of her, “Fine, abdicate.”
What?
“What?”
“Abdicate.” She said again, strangely calm considering the bomb that he had just dropped on her, “because if this silly little interview is causing you this much trouble, it is nothing compared to what you will have to endure for the rest of your life as a royal, and especially as king.”
He didn’t know how to answer, still processing the fact that his mum is letting him abdicate.
She sighed, turning towards her desk, “I’ll get the paperwork ready for you. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have more important matters to attend to.”
Of course, of course there was something else that mattered more.
Did she ever really care for him? Or was he always Erik’s annoying little brother? The spare to the throne? The fuck up?
He tried to hold it together, feeling his eyes start to water, “Thank you for your time, Your Majesty .”
He thought that she would fight him more on this, that some small part of her trusted him to run the monarchy, that he would be a good ruler, but he was obviously very wrong. And a twisted part of his brain was upset because of it. Why did he feel so sad when he got exactly what he wanted?
Because it still felt like he lost.
He walked to the door, grabbing the handle and ready to flee the room he hoped he never had to step foot in again.
“Wilhelm,” for the first time that morning, her voice sounded soft and warm, making him stop and hear what she had to say, “I really do want what's best for you, even if you don’t see it now, I hope you will one day.”
But once again, it was nothing worthwhile.
So without wasting another second, he turned the doorknob and left.
xx
Simon was pacing.
He hadn’t heard from Wilhelm for a couple of hours now, making him more than a bit worried, even though deep down he knew that he was okay.
He sat down on the sofa again, his mama already awake and watching a cooking show on the TV where they were making paella. “Remember how much you liked the paella you ate in Spain when we went last year?” Linda asked, nothing but fondness in her voice.
“Yeah, I remember.”
She leaned over and ran her hand through his curls, comforting him, “We could make it next weekend if you’d like.” He hummed, liking the idea.
Right outside the window, lightning flashed again, the rain pouring heavier than when he woke up a few hours ago. The sky was grey and full of clouds by now, not letting a single ray of sunshine through. “Hey,” his mum whispered, “It’s going to be okay.”
He knew that, but anxiety was running through his veins, despite his useless attempt at trying to calm down, “I just worry, his mum is just so-”
“I know,” she interrupted softly before he started spiralling, “but once all this is cleared up and resolved, you can invite him over for dinner, okay? Maybe even teach him how to make this delicious rice dish,” she adds with a laugh, making him smile, “You can also invite Rosh and Ayub, we can have another game night like yesterday.”
Simon felt so much love from his mum at that moment, not even resisting the urge to hug her tightly, “Te quiero, mama.”
Linda squeezed back, kissing his head tenderly, “Yo también te quiero, mi amor.”
Everything was going to be alright
After a few seconds of being in the comfort of his mum's embrace, he let go, sending her a small smile to show her that he felt better than before and that she helped.
He left her on the couch to go get a glass of water, checking his phone on the way for maybe the hundredth time that day, still with no new notifications from Wilhelm.
Just tell me you’re okay, Wille, please
He looked out the dining room window, seeing big droplets fall against his and Sara’s potted plants that they kept outside, holding under the strength of the falling water.
Please be okay
Just as he was about to go back into his room, he saw a tinted black car appear in front of the house, a car that he recognized.
The same one that picked Wilhelm up yesterday morning at Hillerska, along with The Queen.
“Wille…” He ran to the door, nearly ripping it out of its hinges when opening it with his full strength, even if he wasn’t that strong.
He ignored the water falling on his curly hair, his flushed face and his purple hoodie, catching a cold being the least of his concerns, and just kept walking towards the SUV.
He then saw the back door open, revealing a blond prince stepping out of the sleek car and into the pouring rain, eyes already locked with his.
He stood there, watching Wilhelm approach him in the blue coat, the same one he wore when they last said goodbye, when Wilhelm said that he was going to tell the truth.
And he did.
In just a few steps, he was right in front of him, with a radiant smile matching his own.
“Hey.” Finally hearing his voice, he hugged him. He held him as close as he physically could, the rain around them drenching them to the very core, the cold biting into their skin, but neither of them cared.
Wille is here, he’s okay…
He squeezed him harder, burying his face in his soft coat, trying to lock the feeling of having Wilhelm in his arms away in his memories.
Thunder roared above them, startling the boy in his arms, but fully relaxing again when Simon let go and held his cheeks in the palm of his hands, stroking them affectionately. “Wille…” he whispered, his eyes darting all over that beautiful face he loved so much.
He then felt him move closer, his breath warm on his cold lips, delicate hands moving across his waist, and…
He smacked him across the shoulder, making the prince wince and cry out, “Ow! What-?”
“Why didn’t you call, you asshole ? I was worried sick!” he screamed, no venom lacing his voice, even though he was a bit pissed that Wilhelm didn’t even warn him that he was coming.
“Sorry, I really am! I just wanted to tell you everything in person, and maybe also… surprise you?” he added in a questioning tone, still holding his mildly hurt shoulder.
Simon laughed, moving closer once again and holding the back of his neck, “I stupid love you,” he said before leaning forward and kissing him, hard.
A surprised noise came out of Wilhelm, but soon melted into the kiss and held onto his waist once again, the purple fabric soft under his fingertips.
His lips were soft and warm, lighting up a fire inside him with every sigh he breathed into his mouth, the hands that were once on his waist moving slowly along his back, bringing him closer and completely closing the gap between them; chest to chest, heart to heart.
He could feel their heartbeats sinking, as well as their breaths.
After a few seconds, his lungs started to burn, begging for oxygen, making him reluctantly separate from Wilhelm, but he still kept his hands running through the blond strands, now fully drenched from the rain. “I stupid love you, too,” he heard him say, bright brown eyes and long lashes staring right at him, noting but love and sincerity swimming in those deep irises.
He giggled, relieved that Wilhelm was on the same page as him, “I’m glad you’re here.”
Wilhelm reached down and grabbed his left hand, bringing it up to his lips and leaving a scorching kiss on his sensitive palm, “Me too,” he whispered, tenderly rubbing his thumb over his knuckles, “even though it’s only been a day since I last saw you, I missed you.”
He kissed him again.
It wasn’t fair that he looked all handsome and adorable and ready to devour him once they were inside, it wasn’t fair . So he kissed him to shut him up.
He knew they still had to talk; Wilhelm needed to tell him what happened with Kristina, and if there was anything they could do about the –quite frankly– fake article.
But dammit he missed him, too.
Biting his bottom lip, he pulled back and saw Wilhelms' flushed face, a faint smile on his face, “We should probably head inside,” he managed to say, trying to reason with his brain even though it felt a bit foggy.
“Yeah,” he sounded out of breath, but that’s what making out with your… Boyfriend? for a few minutes will do to you.
Yeah, they definitely needed to talk.
“Common, let's get you out of those clothes before you get hypothermia,” he said without missing a beat, the dirty implication flying over his head completely. But it still made the other boy burst into laughter, still holding his hand and squeezing it in comfort, “I didn’t know you were that impatient, Simon.”
He then realised what he said, the words not sounding as innocent as he meant them, now feeling his own cheeks burn with embarrassment, “Oh my god, not in that way!”
He laughed again, turning towards the car and seeing Malin step out, an opened umbrella over her head and a black bag slung over her shoulder, “I brought a duffle bag for Hillerska, I have a few clothes in there I can change into, not that I wouldn’t mind wearing your clothes,” he winked, making him blush some more.
They started making their way towards the warmthness of his home, Malin trailing behind them, when Wilhelm suddenly stopped and leaned close to his sensitive ear and whispered, “I also packed the sheets you are oh so eager to try.”
Yeah, he stupid loved him