Archive of Our Own ^beta

Kim never imagined that this is how he would be spending his Friday night.

At his age, many would picture him in a club with a pretty girl (or preferably a guy) perched on his lap, or at least at a bar, or heck, even at his house working on the one song he was struggling with. Nope, instead he was with the bubbly, smiley high school student who looked at him with stars in his eyes.

"P'Kim, you have to press the red button for it go faster! No yellow means stop, wait-" The screen turned black with the words "GAME OVER" in white, signaling that he, indeed, lost the game.

No, he wasn't doing anything of those things, rather, Chay was teaching him how to play a racing game. In Chay's words, it was a relatively old game, thus making it easier for the older man to understand and play. How that made any sense, Kim wouldn't know, but seeing the smile on Chay's face handing him the controller, he couldn't stop himself from declining.

Said boy turned his head, eyebrows furrowing and lips formed in a pout. Kim's eyes, for a split second, went down to his lips before moving back up to look into Chay's eyes. Those huge brown eyes bore into his and he didn't want to look away. So beautiful. "P'Kim!" Chay whined, "you lost! Again!" He pushed his bottom lip out even more, making his pout prominent.

Reaching out to rake his hand through the full raven locks, Kim pulled the younger's body closer to his. "I'm sorry Chay. How about this? Instead of a two player game, why don't we do a single player game and you guide me, hmm? How does that sound?" Kim could genuinely care less about if he won the game or not but seeing the look of disappointment on Chay's face when their game cut short made him want to play again and again until Chay was absolutely beaming with joy. His suggestion did just the trick.

"Okay P'Kim!" Chay smiled so wide as he moved a little behind Kim so he was able to see exactly which keys the older was going to press. He leaned closer and Kim was able to feel the younger's warm breath on the back and middle left side of his neck. He was sure that Chay wasn't doing it on purpose but that didn't stop from his heart rate to increase and him from closing his eyes.

Thump, thump, thump.

All he wanted to do was turn around to pull Chay even closer to him and-

"P'Kim?" a soft voice pulled him out of his thoughts. Thoughts that he knew he shouldn't be having. He opened his eyes and turned to see Chay's concerned face. "P'Kim are you okay? We don't have to play anymore if you don't want to, we could do something else. We haven't eaten yet and it's getting dark. Do you want to eat? Or should we-"

"Okay okay," Kim interrupted Chay's cute babbling. He put the controller down next to him and turned out to face Chay, who was looking back at him with his large doe-eyes and small smile.

"You are right, it is getting late. So I should start heading out," he said, noticing how the face of the man across from him fell.

I need to leave, it's for the best.

"I have leftover noodles and dumplings. I can heat them up for us?" Chay asked, peering his eyes up him. He really knows what he's doing, huh?

It's for the best if I leave.

"Yeah sure."

Or not.

Chay beamed at Kim as he got up to go downstairs after promising that he would be right back. After making sure that he was the only one in the room, he got up and closed the bedroom door. His eyes made contact with the computer on the student's desk. Bingo. He sat on the small desk chair and turned on the computer, surprised at the lack of password protection. He went straight to the folders and clicked on the folder named "family" which brought him to a variety of photos-some in colour, others in black and white. Most of them were of Chay and Porsche from when Porsche was in university and others of Chay in his school uniform and with Porsche on a bike. Kim let out a small smile seeing Chay looking so happy when he was with his brother. He then shook his head, making sure to get back to his goal. After exiting the folder, he clicked on another one, this time named "important". Opening the folder let out scanned copies of documents and files. Kim narrowed his eyes and examined them closely. They were important but not what he was looking for: birth certificate and documents important for school.

He kept going and going and going. Every folder that he opened told him nothing but also told him what he already knew, confirmed it really. Porschay didn't know anything about him and his family. He and Porsche were completely innocent.

"P'Kim, what are you doing?" Kim was too much into his thoughts to even hear Chay coming upstairs and into his room. He immediately closed all of the windows and turned to face Chay, who looked very confused.

"Sorry Chay, I needed to use your computer to look up something for work. Hope you don't mind," he said, nonchalantly standing up to move to Chay. "Now," he began, putting his arm around Chay's shoulders before he could say anything, "shall we eat dinner before it gets cold?"

Once they finished their dinner, Kim decided that it would be his time to go. He ignored the sad look on Chay's face as he made his way to the gate of the house. It was pitch black outside, meaning they were together for a few hours. He was supposed to only be there for guitar tutoring and it ended up with them playing games and eating noodles.

"I'll see you later then, P'Kim?" Chay looked at him with the large smile on his face. His eyes sparkled as the moonlight hit them, and Kim was sure that he never seen anyone look more beautiful.

He should be saying no to Chay, that this was going to be their last tutoring session. It was the smartest decision to make, but Kim hasn't been making the smartest of choices lately.

"Yeah Chay, I'll call you for our next session. Study hard."

Before he can turn around to go to his car, a weight hit his chest in a form of the younger and slightly smaller male. His thick hair tickled Kim's nose and he could smell his scent of his soap as well as the slight undertone of what they ate. He couldn't find it in himself to push Chay away, not when his right hand raked its way through his hair and held the back of his head. His left arm wrapped around Chay's waist, holding him as Chay had both of his arms around Kim. He doesn't remember how long they stayed like that but he didn't seem to care. Alas, he knew he had to let go at some point, sighing as he did so. When he moved his head, he was met with Chay doing the same. Their faces close together - about three centimeters of distance between them - made it so hard for Kim to not close the gap. His eyes went back and forth from the younger's lips and any other part of his face, wondering why Chay wasn't moving either when he felt his breath getting warmer as he got closer-

He looked up immediately, clearing his throat and letting his arms fall to his side.

"I'll call you about the next session."

He smiled at Chay as he walked to his car, waving at him through the rear view mirror before driving. Kim looked ahead as he drove, letting out a breath he didn't know he was holding.

---

"Are you ready, Chay?" Kim asked Chay as they were walking down to the music room in the university. Kim explained that this was a different room than the other one they were in before.

"It's a smaller room. I also prepared some snacks for you, we might be in here for a long time. I hope that's okay?"

Chay beamed, nodding his head. He was so happy to be with Kim. He couldn't stop thinking about their last tutoring lesson, which ended in not-so-much-tutoring but he enjoyed it, nonetheless. He could still feel Kim's breath near his mouth, and he wished that the older closed the gap between them or that he at least had the courage to do it himself. As if someone like him would want to kiss someone like me. Kissing is for people you like, he needs to like me for him to kiss me. He doesn't like me.

"Chay, everything okay in there?" The man in question turned to see Kim looking at him with his hand gently touching his head.

"Yes, P'Kim, I'm ready for today's lesson!"

"Okay," the older smiled, "let's go." He put his hand on the back of Chay's guitar case as he led him inside the room.

Wow.

Kim wasn't kidding when he said that the room was smaller. It was at least a quarter of the size of the room they were previously in. There were a few instruments splayed out in the room but other than that, there were two chairs set up near a piano besides the piano chair.

"It's a pretty small practice room, but I thought that it would good since it would just be us and no distractions."

But there wasn't anyone else in the other room with us.

"Okay, P'Kim."

They set up by Kim sitting on the piano chair and Chay sitting on the chair across from him, with the guitar placed on his lap.

They went over the song Chay was working on, Kim giving him pointers to improve certain parts. Kim genuinely felt impressed seeing how Chay improved from their last session (albeit being a week ago). He can see how hardworking the younger was and how passionate he was about learning about music and wanting to be better every time.

Kim was for sure certain that Chay would have no problems getting into the faculty.

"Chay, why don't we take a short break and eat? Then we can go back?" He could see Chay moving his neck side to side as if to stretch out a crick in his neck. He wanted him to take a break before he overworked himself.

The man in question looked up from the paper with a smile and shook his head. "It's okay, P'Kim. You can go and eat. I am almost done with this part and then I will join you."

Kim shook his head as he made his way to the small round table with the snacks he prepared earlier. He remembered how Chay favoured sweets, so he made sure that the sweets outnumbered the savoury options. He grabbed the plate with a slice of cake along with two forks and went back to his seat, where Chay was still writing, a small frown on his face.

"Hey," Chay jumped as he felt a hand being placed on top his. Kim's much larger hand felt so warm around his and it took everything he had in him to not turn his own around and intertwine their fingers together. The warmth was becoming too much in the already warm room, even with the air conditioner on. "Take a short break, you look like you're so close to ripping that paper into shreds."

Chay let out a small smile as he quickly pulled his hand from underneath Kim's. He opened his mouth to deny his senior's request when he met face to face with a fork filled piece of cake. He moved his eyes to see Kim's smiling face.

Wow, he has such a pretty smile.

"Why don't you eat a bit, hmm?"

Kim was holding out a piece of cake for him to eat, and who was Chay to refuse?

He opened his mouth, allowing Kim to feed him. And wow, was the cake good. Chay has always been fond of sweets, so it's no wonder he is thoroughly enjoying himself.

Even though P'Kim feeding you makes it even sweeter.

He shook his head to remove the thought as he looked down at the sheet he was working on. The lyrics were good but they didn't have the right flow with the music, and that's what he needed help with.

"Hey Chay, what's going on, hmm? I thought you like cake," Kim called out to him. He was acting kind of weird today, Chay mused to himself.

"I'm okay P'Kim, and I do, it's just that I'm really having trouble with this song," he sighed, pouting as he rested his head on his left hand.

Kim looked him over, observing how glum he looked, totally the opposite of how he normally, the opposite of he was when they first got here. Kim decided that he didn't like to see this side of Chay at all.

"Come here."

Kim moved over on the piano chair leaving room for Chay to sit by him. He went over and sat by the older, noticing that their arms were basically plastered together due to their small seating arrangement. Kim turned so he was facing Chay, brows furrowed in question. He reached out to put one of many out-of-place strands behind Chay's ear.

"What's going on?" Kim murmured as he pushed his face closer to Chay's. The younger's mind instantly went back to them standing in front of the gate of his house. He couldn't concentrate on Kim's question when he was standing so close.

"Um," Chay began as he turned to face the sheet again, "I'm just having trouble with this part, that's all."

"That's okay. It's okay to struggle, because that's how you learn," Kim replied, trying to soothe the man in front of him by using his hands to comb through his hair. Unfortunately, that did not seem to work at all when he saw Chay's bottom lip quiver.

Oh no.

"I know, but I don't want to mess up. I want to make you proud," Chay revealed, his voice cracking.

Kim sighed, pulling Chay into his arms, tightly wrapping his arms around him. They breathed each other in for a few moments when Kim said, "who says I'm not already proud of you?" Chay lifted his to look at him with wide eyes.

"Really? You're proud of me?"

"There was never a time when I wasn't."

Chay smiled so wide, it became blinding, as he pushed himself back into Kim's arms. Kim closed his eyes as spoke. "It's okay to struggle, it's normal. As long as you work hard to get through it, that's all that matters. Okay?"

Chay let out a noise as nodded against Kim's neck. Kim smiled as pulled back. "Now, let's finish our snack."

Chay grabbed the untouched fork, scooped a bit of the cake and put it against Kim's mouth (who clearly was not expecting that). Chay giggled as he pushed the fork against his lips, making Kim relent and open his mouth to allow Chay to feed him. That's how they spent their break: basking in each other's presence and feeding each other.

If anyone saw the young cool-headed master now, they would be floored seeing him show more than an ounce of human emotion.

Chay put his hand in his pocket to pull out his phone only to see that it was dead. "Oh?" he frowned. He asked Kim what time it was. It was 16:47.

"P'Kim, can I borrow your phone to call my friend. My phone died," he explained.

Kim handed him his phone as he up to put the plate and utensils away. There wasn't a bin in the room, so he had to go outside to do it, leaving Chay alone.

He quickly called his friend not wanting Kim to lose too much battery. "Beam? Hi, it's Porschay! I'm calling from someone else's phone, mine died. I wanted to let you know that I might be late in coming to your house. Is that okay?"

Chay listened to what his friend had to before nodding and hanging up. As he hung up, he saw notifications popping up on the phone for Kim.

Big

We saw him a few days ago, walking home with an older guy.

The man was wearing a suit, holding a briefcase. The watch on his wrist was Patek Philippe.

We will find out how he knows him and who the older man is, Khun Kim

Chay's tilted his head as his eyebrows furrowed. Khun Kim? Why was someone calling him Khun? Did he work for Kim?

Chay recalled three days prior that an older man spotted him as he was walking home, but he didn't bother to remember what he looked like or what he was wearing. All he was trying to do was try to get home in peace.

As another message popped up, the door opened to reveal Kim. Chay pressed the power button and handed the phone back. "P'Kim, I told my friend that I was going to go over his house and it seems like I am late. I'm sorry that I didn't get to finish the song."

Kim shook his head, smiling. "Don't worry about the song. We can work on it next time, okay?"

Chay nodded and suddenly remembered, "Oh P'Kim! I forgot to tell you, when I hung up, your friend messaged you. He messaged you a lot, it must be important."

Kim frowned, "My friend?"

"Yeah, Big."

Chay watched as Kim's face changed into a cool expression. "Ah, my friend Big. Yeah, he's been needing help with some things."

Is that why he calls you Khun?

"Well, let's pack up and I will drive you to your friend's house. It's getting dark outside." The sun was still pretty high in the sky, but Chay wasn't going to refuse a ride much less from Kim.

They packed up pretty quickly, with Chay holding a bag full of the remaining snacks in his left hand.

"Ready?" Chay looked up to see Kim holding out his hand. Chay took it and bit his bottom lip to stop himself from squealing over Kim intertwining their fingers and not letting go as they their way out of the university and to his car.

---

Chay knows that he should be paying attention to what Kim is saying, but honestly he could care less. He could care less when all he could pay attention to was the sound of Kim's voice in his ear and the warmth of his body pressing up against him.

"Chay? Are you listening to what I just said?"

No.

"Yes," Chay said instead, nodding.

Kim looked at him unimpressed, full well knowing the truth.

"Oh yeah? Then what did I say?"

Oh.

"Um, well..." he trailed off, peering up at Kim through his eyelashes. The older man raised his eyebrow in question.

"Okay fine! I wasn't listening," Chay pouted as he leaned back onto Kim's shoulder. These days Kim has been getting more affectionate with him: putting his arm over his shoulder, pulling him close to him by the waist, pressing up against him, patting his head, and most recently, holding his hand. If Kim was getting comfortable, them Chay was going to be comfortable too.

Chay doesn't know what this means but he knows what it could mean, and that thought both excites and frightens him.

Kim let out a laugh as he pulled Chay closer to him so the younger man's back was pressing against his front. Both of his hands were placed on top of Chay's as he began to lead him in playing the guitar.

"I was saying," Kim murmured against Chay's ear, "that the sound of the music has to go with the song. You don't want have a slow song with a high tempo and fast sound, right?"

Chay shook his head and Kim taught him how to properly play the music. At some point, one part of his neck was starting to strain so he tilted his head to the left to get rid of it, only to lodge the top of his head into Kim's neck. The older man jumped as he felt an uncomfortable sensation in his neck.

"Oh P'Kim, are you okay? Did I hurt you, I'm sorry."

Kim shook his head, smiling at Chay softly. "No no, I'm just ticklish."

The sudden response made Chay's eyes widen. "You're ticklish?" Kim nodded.

A mischievous thought popped up in the younger's head as he inched his finger closer to Kim's neck. "So if I touch you," he poked his neck, "here, it tickles?" He giggled as Kim slapped his hand on the spot.

Chay couldn't resist taking both of his hands and poking Kim all over: his neck, his side, all the spots that were deemed to be the obvious ticklish spots.

Two could play at that game.

As he was trying to defend himself, he put the guitar down safely away from them and pushed himself on top of Chay and began tickling him back. His joyous laughter filled the air and Kim was sure that he has never smiled so much in his life, if the slight pain in his cheeks had anything to go by. He looked down at Chay and it was like his breath got caught in his throat: hair splayed all over the place, cheeks and nose red, and slight tears in his eyes as he beamed his beautiful and contagious smile.

He knew that this was a dangerous game he was playing, he knew it the second Chay smiled at him during the concert at the open house. All he had to do was get information about Porsche yet he found himself spending more and more time with Porschay because he wanted to, not because he had to. Chay made him feel, and he hadn't felt anything in a long time. It was dangerous and a scary change but if it was Chay then Kim had no problem dwelling in it.

Chay was looking up at him, heavily breathing and ignored the slight discomfort he was feeling from their position: Kim on top of him as their legs were hanging off the swing chair. He could ignore it when all he could focus and see was Kim's effortless hair hanging in front of his face, so close that he would be able to count the freckles across his cheeks. The sun created a halo around his head and Chay reached out to put a few strands behind his hair.

The action caused Kim to come closer to him. His heart was pounding so hard he was sure that Kim would be able to hear it, and if he did he didn't comment on it. He liked Kim so much it was almost getting too much to bear, he only wished that he liked him too.

For the next moments, their breaths mingled as Kim's eyes strayed at Chay's full lips.

Pull yourself together, Kim. Come on. Get up.

It was hard to listen to himself when he wanted to do the opposite. He found the distance between him and Chay getting shorter and shorter.

This is dangerous, this can only open many more problems.

His heart was beating very fast and feeling very warm. And for the first time in a long time, it was a feeling he welcomed.

Yes, this was dangerous and he needed to prepare for what could happen next, but that was a decision he was willing to make.

Don't do this, stop yourself before it's too late.

Screw it, I'm in love with Porschay.

That was his only thought when he put his hands on both sides of Chay's head and brought their lips together. It was not his first kiss nor was it passionate, only a press of lips but to Kim, it was the best kiss he's ever experienced. He felt so light and warm and was sure that every moment they were going to experience together was going to feel just like this.

"What's going on?" A voiced boomed, making the two men pull away from each other. They moved so fast that Chay lost his balance and fell off the swing chair, taking Kim down with him.

"Ow," Chay mumbled, pouting as he rubbed his head. Kim smiled, helping them both up, taking his face in both hands.

"You okay?" He asked and Chay nodded. They both looked to see who interrupted their moment and Chay broke out in a huge grin when he realised that it was Porsche.

"Hia! You're here!" He exclaimed running up and into his brother's awaiting arms. "I missed you so much!"

Porsche turned away from Kim and it was almost comical how fast his expression changed when he looked at Chay. He brought his little brother closer with his arms wrapped tightly around him, and breathed him in. "I missed you too Chay, so much."

The sweet moment had passed when Porsche remembered the presence of another man in his house. "And who is this?"

Before Chay can say anything, Kim walked up to them. "I'm Kim, I'm tutoring Chay in playing guitar," he greeted, placing one hand in his pocket.

"I wonder what tutoring in guitar means to you because to me, it doesn't look like what I just saw," Porsche scoffed, squinting his eyes at Kim. "What do you want with my little brother?"

Kim laughed saying, "I am tutoring your brother and maybe, take him on dates soon."

Play it cool and leave it at that.

He looked to the left to see Chay blushing after hearing Kim mention that he was going to take him out. Kim felt himself smiling wide.

Lots and lots and lots of dates for Chay.

"How do you guys know each other?" Porsche fired another question at him. He wasn't going to stop until he knew anything and everything about the guy in front of him who apparently wants to take his brother out.

Just as Kim was about to answer, the gate opened again.

"Porsche, is everything okay? I could hear you yelling from where I parked," a new voice came. Chay saw another man walk in, wearing tan pants and a white button down shirt. He was dressed casually but Chay could tell that they were expensive. The way he strolled in screamed that he belonged to money.

Most importantly, Chay noticed the way the man looked at his brother. He ushered to his side as soon as he saw him, eyes looking all over to see if there was any sort of injury. He looked at Porsche as if he was his whole world. And that made Chay so happy because his brother, of all people, deserved to be looked and treated as such.

His brother huffed fondly turning to face the man, "Yeah, Kinn, I'm fine. I was just wondering who is this."

The man - Kinn - looked to Chay for a few seconds before turning to look at who his Porsche was talking about. His eyes widened and he looked taken aback as he realised who it was.

"Kim? What are you doing here?"

How does he know Kim?

Kim just smirked and lifted his hand in greeting. Porsche looked to Kim and Kinn, brows furrowing, he looked very confused just like Chay.

"How do you know him?" Porsche asked, his grip on Chay's arm tightening.

"He's my baby brother," Kim explained. Chay and Porsche looked shocked, the older of the two calculating the situation with his eyes.

"I didn't know you had a brother, P'Kim?" Chay asked Kim.

Kim cocked his head to the side. "Really? I swear I mentioned it."

The youngest man blinked in shock.

Is he really lying to me right now?

"No," he shakily began, "you said that you didn't have any siblings."

"Why are you with my brother?" Porsche asks again.

"I told you, didn't I?" Kim says, raising his eyebrows as he smirks. The fact that Kim was finding this whole situation funny was making Porsche all the angrier. "I am tutoring him."

Chay was so confused. Who is the man that came with his brother? Why didn't Kim tell him that he has a brother?

Kim could see how upset Chay was getting and at once rushed to his side, to explain, to do something.

The second Kim touches Chay's arm, Porsche pushes Kim away, pulls out his gun and points it at Kim's face.

Is that a gun? Why does my brother have a gun?

Having the gun a few centimeters from his face immediately made Kim lose his laid-back composure. Gone was the cool-headed, kind musician and in his place was a rough and cold person. He has never seen Kim like this before.

"You may be under my brother's service but remember that you still work for me. It's Khun Kim to you," he spoke, his voice deeper than anything Chay has ever heard. "Now get that gun out of my face before your blood gets spilled."

Chay felt like he was in a fever dream.

Porsche did not listen to the youngest master, instead Chay heard the click of the gun. "Tell me the truth or my blood will not be the only thing being spilled."

"Hia!" Chay screamed, shocked from what he was hearing from his brother. His kind, outgoing loving brother was threatening to shoot someone, shoot Kim.

All three men looked at him, forgetting that he was there in the first place. He kept looking at the gun in his brother's hand, it was the only thing he could thing about. Why does his brother have a gun?

Kim blocked the view by stepping in between them, holding his head with both his hands. "Hey," he murmured, sounding completely differently than how he did before. "It's okay, it's okay. Nothing's going to happen, okay? Your brother's just being protective okay?"

Chay nodded, finding comfort in Kim, even though he knew that was probably not the best choice given the current decision.

Kim turned around and gave Porsche a smug smirk, "you're scaring your brother."

Immediately seeing how nervous Chay was getting, Porsche put his gun away. He pulled Chay in his arms, kissing him on the forehead, "Hia's sorry, Chay."

"What's going on?" Chay asked. He was looking at Kim but the question was directed at anyone who would answer. He predicted that Kinn would stay quiet, so he was expecting an answer from either Kim or Porsche.

"It's just a misunderstanding," Kim started, and Chay didn't even bother to let him finish.

"Stop lying to me!" He screamed, leaving the rest in shock. They never expected to see him this angry.

"How do you know my brother?" the question was directed to Kinn, who looked like he was not expecting that question. "Why did you lie to me about being an only child?" This time directed at Kim. "Hia, why are you viewing P'Kim as a threat? Why do you have a gun? What's going on?" The last came out so quiet, like he was exhausted.

His questions were met with silence for a couple of minutes. Chay believed that he was never going to get answers.

"I work for Kinn," Porsche began. "He is my boss-"

"-and we're in a relationship."

Porsche rolled his eyes. "Kinn is my boss and we are in a relationship. I wanted to come see you, and he came along because he wanted to meet you."

Chay was shocked. His brother being in a relationship, with a man, was the last thing he was expecting. Not that it mattered, considering that he had a crush on Porsche's boyfriend's brother.

"Now, that we got that part of the way, what do you want with Porschay? You were all supposed to stay away from him!" Porsche growled, pushing himself onto Kim.

Kinn pulled him away before he can actually make a mark on Kim. "Porsche! Porsche, you know you can't hurt him." Kinn was trying to soothe Porsche but clearly it didn't work when he was pushed away.

"How am I supposed to trust you when I was promised that Chay would be kept safe?" Porsche asked, his voice laced with betrayal. Kinn sighed, his composure softening as he held onto his arm.

"I didn't know that Kim was spending time with Chay. Kim doesn't stay with us in the house."

Kinn turned to his younger brother, looking at him totally different to how he was looking at Porsche before. He looked tired. "What did you do, Kim?"

"There were things happening to you when Porsche was hired, what was I supposed to think? The guards that are hired worked for the military or the police, not a bartender. He was not qualified to be working under us so why was he hired? There's a mole in the house and I needed to do what I had to do to figure it out."

There was, the truth was out there. As much as he feels relief from the news, the looks on the Kittisawat brothers did not seem to think so.

"So you're telling me," Porsche began, his voice laced with anger Chay (or matter in fact, Kinn) has never heard before, "you befriended my brother so you can information about me?"

Hearing his brother's words, everything started to make sense: Kim offering to tutor him, asking him about his family and Porsche, showing up to his house without Chay even telling him where he lived, going through his computer, the strange texts on his phone. It was all just a scheme to find more things about Porsche. Kim actually didn't like him at all.

There was a sharp feeling in his chest and a sour feeling going down his arms, legs, basically everywhere. He was sure that he was breathing heavily at the way they were all looking at him, but he couldn't anything besides the blood rushing in his ears.

Chay suddenly felt very tired and very small. His brother has lied about where he working, he still doesn't know what he does but he knows that it's not on an island. Kim, his idol, his crush, lied to him about, well, everything.

Chay didn't know what to do. He just knew that he couldn't stay here anymore.

Without saying a word, Chay moved passed his brother and Kinn, opened the gate and walked out.

"Chay," Kim started, trying to go after him but was pulled back by Porsche, who punched him square in the face. Kim, and Kinn, knew that he could have Porsche killed just for taking a step in his direction, but he was going to let it go this once. He knew he deserved it - he deserved a beating after treating Chay so horribly.

"Don't you dare," Porsche spat, "speak to him, touch him ever again. Don't ever go near Porschay ever again."

With that, Porsche pushed the younger Theerapanyakun brother and walked to the gate to follow after his brother. He was held back by Kinn. "Maybe you should give him some space to sort everything out in his head," Kinn said. He was trying to comfort him but he knew that he could only do so much.

Porsche glared at him, "you want me to let my brother wander on the streets alone? Are you out of your mind? What if something happens to him? He's upset and he needs me to comfort him."

"Porsche, he has his phone on him, he will call if he needs you, and he will come back once he feels better."

"And," Kinn started, "I don't think he wants another person who lied to him to comfort him."

Porsche glared at him again then sighed, closing his eyes. "I had to lie to protect him. This was all for him."

Kinn sighed, pulling Porsche into his arms. "I know that, and he will come to know that as well. He's just hurting right now."

During their sweet moment, they realised that they still had company: the youngest Theerapanyakun master was standing in front of them with a blank expression on his face. Kinn let go of Porsche, setting his gaze onto his younger brother. "Get out."

Kim looked helplessly at other. "Kinn," he croaked, "I didn't mean-I tried-" Kinn was surprised in seeing his brother stumble over his words. "I have feelings for him. I didn't-".

"Out," Kinn said again, leaving no room for argument.

Kim sighed and left, getting in his car and driving off, his bodyguards tailing behind him.

Porsche looked at Kinn as they made their way into the house. "I'm not leaving until Chay gets back. I don't care how long that is." Kinn looked at Porsche and saw how tired he was from taking care of Porschay all these years and taking care of Kinn these past months. Kinn knew that Porsche knew that he could get in trouble, that he needed to keep Kinn safe, but Kinn also knew that Porschay was Porsche's number one priority. So when he said that he wasn't going to leave until his baby brother came back, he meant that he wasn't going to leave until his baby brother came back.

Kinn shook his head and took his cell phone out, "I guess I will let Chan know that we are going to be away for the next few days."

Porsche smiled, leaning into his boyfriend. "Thank you," he mumbled.

Kinn smiled back, stroking his hair with his left hand. "I'll do anything for you."

---

Chay took a deep breath standing in front of the gate of his house. He didn't know what to expect once he walked in, if he was going to be alone or if his brother and Kinn were going to be there.

He spent the past two days staying over his friend Beam's house. His older brother, Book, drove him home, leaving him standing there for the past few minutes.

He eventually got the courage to open the gate and go inside his house where he was met with Kinn washing the dishes. Both of the men stared at each other before Kinn put down the wet metal dish and called for Porsche.

Porsche came downstairs and ran towards Chay, roughly moving him onto the couch and holding him in his arms. "Chay, I missed you so much," he said through their tight hug.

"I missed you too Hia," Chay said back, tears coming up to the surface of his eyes. "I'm sorry I left, I couldn't be here anymore and I needed to think somewhere else."

Porsche pulled back, also getting teary-eyed. "I know you needed time to think and get away, but Chay you should have told where you were. I was worried sick about you, wondering if you were okay, if something happened to you."

Weren't you the one who left without a word and a note for me?

But he didn't want to say anything and cause any more arguments.

"I'm sorry," is all he said.

"Who were you staying with?" Kinn asked, leaning against the kitchen counter. Chay wasn't expecting him to say anything, he was his brother's boyfriend yes, but that didn't mean he had to care about Chay. Maybe, he was just pretending.

"I stayed at my friend Beam's house. His brother P'Book took me home." Kinn nodded as Porsche continued to fuss over him.

"Hia, you need to tell me what's going on. Why did you have a gun? Don't lie to me anymore."

Porsche sighed and shared a look with Kinn, who moved to sit on the other side of Chay.

"I have two brothers, Tankhun is the oldest and Kim is the youngest. My family runs a mafia and your brother works for us. He is one of my personal bodyguards. Kim doesn't live with us in the house, he likes to do his own thing, which as you know is music. That's why I had no idea you knew him."

"You work for the mafia." Chay said, it wasn't a question.

"Yes."

"You lied to me. You left without a word and with a only a note," Chay cried, nuzzling his face into his brother's neck.

"You have to understand, Chay, I didn't want to lie to you. That's the last thing I wanted to do. I needed to do what I had to to take care of you. I needed you to be safe, your school fees to be paid for, and our uncle's debts to be taken care of so no one would come after you. Everything I did was for you, but I am so sorry that I lied to you."

Listening to what his brother made Chay understand. He understood where he brother was coming from. That being said, he had no choice but to forgive him. Because he loved his brother.

"Okay, I forgive you."

Porsche beamed as he pushed himself onto Chay, kissing him all over his face. Chay's laughter filled the air as he attempted to push his brother away. He made eye contact with Kinn, who was observing the brothers with a soft smile on his face.

"P'Kinn, P'Kinn, help me!" Chay called out. Kinn raised his eyebrows, clearly not expecting that question but laughed as he pulled Chay away from Porsche and closer to him.

"Stop manhandling your brother." Porsche smiled as he watched Chay holding onto Kinn and Kinn being so relaxed next to him. His heart warmed as he looked at his two worlds.

"Let's go to your room," Porsche said, as he led his brother upstairs, "so you can relax and fill us in on the past few days."

"I'll join you two in a bit," Kinn called out as the two brothers went upstairs. Once they were gone, he pulled out his phone to open his messages with Kim.

Kim

Can you at least tell me when he comes back home?

Kinn

He came home about 2 hours ago

Kinn stared at his phone questioning if he should share any more information.

Kinn

His friend's older brother took him home

He sighed and put his phone away. Kim could do with that information what he will.

---

Chay was walking home from school, humming to himself the song he had been working on. He still practiced writing songs and playing the guitar, telling himself that he didn't need Kim to teach him. He was smart enough to be self-taught or could get someone else to tutor him.

Porsche and Kinn left the day after he came home, with the promise to visit more often. Chay now had Kinn's number, but we was allowed to only call in emergencies, whereas Porsche could call Chay using the phone once a week. Once a week was better than nothing.

It had been a few days since the whole fiasco with Kim, Kinn, and Porsche and Chay would say that he is feeling good - as good as someone with a broken heart can be. He had been going to school, coming home, studying and doing homework, watching television, and going to sleep. Sometimes he would spend time with his friends. He was glad that the time away from Kim helped him feel better but a small part (large part) of him was upset that the older man didn't at least try to reach out to him to apologise.

No response is still a response.

Not hearing from Kim made Chay realise that all he was to him was a dumb kid that was easy to manipulate. And that hurt a lot.

"Hey Porschay!"

Chay turned to see a guy running towards him, waving his tattooed arm in the air.

"Hi P'Book, what are you doing here?" Chay smiled.

"I was grabbing a snack on my way home," he nodded towards the cafe a few metres down. "On your way home?" to which Chay nodded.

"Let me walk you home."

"Oh you don't have to P', it's okay."

"Are you sure? Your house is on my way."

Chay eventually agreed in letting his friend's older brother walk with him. They spoke about each other's day and Chay learned that Book had a long break before his night class, which was why he was going home.

They eventually made it to Chay's house. "Thank you for walking me home P'Book," Chay smiled which caused P'Book to smile at him.

"Oh before you go," Book pulled out his phone, "may I have your number?"

Chay nodded and recited his number. He waved back at Book as he entered his house and locked the gate.

He liked Book and it was nice that he made a new friend whilst he was going through a hard time.

---

Chay knew that he felt a lot. He smiled big and his eyes displayed all of his emotions. He cared deeply about the people in his life and even though he didn't have many friends, he did see the good in people. Although it can be seen as a good quality to have, it can also be his downfall. Chay knew that he felt a lot, that he got attached too easily.

So although not being in contact with Kim for the past two weeks have been good for him, he knew that it was going to take a lot more than a few weeks to get over the heartbreak he felt, the heartbreak he was still continuing to feel.

He would've been okay with admiring Kim from a distance as Wik just like a normal fan.

The only good things these days are spending time with his friends, talking to his brother and Kinn on the phone, and his walks with P'Book who has been walking home almost every day.

Chay's phone vibrated, letting him know of Book's message.

Book

I'm almost at your school. I brought you pink milk :)

Chay smiled, walking to the entrance of his school to wait for the university student. He waved when he him, skipping over to him and accepted the drink.

They proceeded to walk to Chay's house, chatting about each other's day. They got onto the topic of university.

"You are looking into the faculty of music Porschay?" to which Chay nodded, expressing how nervous he was.

Book looked at him and smiled softly, "it's normal to be nervous, heck even I was nervous to get into my faculty but you are more than capable to do it. You mentioned that you had a tutor?"

Chay's smile vanished at the mention of Kim, he hadn't thought about the other man (much) today. "Oh, I don't have a tutor anymore," he mumbled.

Book let out a noise, "oh, well, I know some people in the music faculty. I can see if anyone will be willing to tutor you."

Chay beamed up at him, making Book sigh as he took in how pretty Chay was.

"Thank you P'Book!"

"You're welcome Porschay, but remember: tutor or no tutor, no one is more capable in getting to the faculty of music than you okay?"

Chay nodded and smiled, feeling much better than he had in days.

--

Kim was miserable.

He looked at the clock for what felt like the hundredth time and sighed. He felt antsy and uncomfortable, like he needed to walk around. He couldn't concentrate on anything for the past week. He stared down at the sheet on his desk, crumbled it up and threw it on the other side of the room.

He collapsed on his chair, pressing his thumbs into his eyes. He couldn't get anything done he couldn't eat, couldn't sleep, couldn't get any work for his father done, couldn't work on his songs, nothing.

All he could think about was Chay. He listened to Porsche in leaving Chay alone but the younger man was all he could think about. Is he okay? Is he hurting? Has he eaten? Is he practicing in playing his guitar? Does he miss me as much as I miss him?

Kim took a deep breath and shook his head. He will forget about Chay, he has to, he owes him that much.

For the upcoming hours, Kim willed himself to work on the song he needed to submit by the end of week. Yet, all he could think of was Chay. He looked at the clock again.

Screw it.

It was a miracle that he lasted three weeks. He snatched his car keys and sprinted out his apartment door, ignoring his bodyguards' calls.

He drove to Chay's house in record time, but instead of getting out, he stared ahead. He parked a few metres away from the house so Chay wouldn't be able to see him easily.

He had so much to say but also had no idea what to say. Only Chay would make him feel this way. No matter how difficult it would be to speak to him after weeks of no contact, he knew it to be done. It took him a lot to accept his feelings for Chay, and he wasn't going to let him go. He tried and learned that it wasn't really feasible.

A blur of blue and white shook him out of his thoughts. His eyes settled on two men walking passed his car: a high school student and a university student. He recognised Chay's smiling face immediately yet his eyes narrowed on the university student standing too close to him.

His friend's older brother took him home

Kim remembered Kinn's text to him the day Chay came home. This friend's older brother seemed to know Chay pretty well based on how cozy he was getting with him. Kim clenched his jaw seeing the older of the two run his fingers through Chay's hair.

He told himself to calm down and that he would speak to Chay once the university student left.

But those thoughts left as soon as the older of the two leaned down and kissed Chay.

--

P'Book kissing him was the last thing he was expecting. One second he was patting his hair and the next he pressed their lips together. Chay froze, which caused Book to pull away.

"I'm sorry," Book said but Chay already interrupted, "it's okay!"

"Um it's okay, P'Book," he mumbled. The both of them just stood there, Chay didn't know what to do, all he could think about was Kim.

"I actually like someone, I'm sorry. I'm getting over him but I still like him," he confessed.

Book looked disappointed but nodded. "I understand, I'm going to go. But is it okay if I hug you?"

They never hugged before but Chay already felt bad, he didn't want to make him even more upset. He nodded opening his arms to allow the older to do the same. They shared the hug for a minute before Chay pulled away. As he did, Book leaned down again to connect their lips. This time, he moved his lips, so Chay felt like he no choice but to do the same. It only lasted a few seconds when Book was ripped away from him and in front of him stood Kim.

--

When Kim saw that guy go for another kiss, he jumped out of his car and ran to pull him away from Chay, his Chay.

Before the guy could say or do anything, Kim raised his arm and punched him. Book's head turned to the right as his body fell backwards, hitting the ground. He looked up at the image of Kim standing over him. "W-what? Who are you?"

Kim didn't answer him, only getting on knees and straddling the university student ready to throw more punches.

"P'Kim, stop!" Chay's terrified voice caused him to freeze, reminding him of what he came to do. Closing his eyes, his composure relaxed as he dropped his fists in front of him. He looked down to see Book looking back at him with wide eyes, blood dripping down his nose and a little forming at the corner of his mouth.

Kim probably scared the crap out of him. A part of him was pleased, but the more sensible part of him knew that the other man didn't do anything wrong. Him and Porschay were not together and they had every right to kiss, even though it made him sick to his stomach. He also knew that Chay would not be pleased with him for his actions, that although he was born into the mafia, it did not mean he had to act like it. Especially, if he wanted to make it up to him.

Without a word, Kim got off Book and stretched out his hand for him to take. He helped Book up, pulled out a handkerchief out of his pocket and handed to him for his nose and mouth. Book looked at Kim suspiciously but took the piece of cloth, nonetheless. Before he can even say anything, Kim leaned in his personal space, mouth near his ear.

"I'm Kim, Porschay is mine," he whispered, the rage being translated through his words. Chay wasn't Kim's, but he would be. He was ready to beg, grovel, do whatever he needed to do to get Chay back.

Book's eyes widened, taking a step back as he looked back at Chay's scared face. Chay said he liked someone and that someone was Kim. But Chay shouldn't be around people who attack other people for no reason.

He smiled and waved at Chay. "I'm going to head home, Chay. I'll talk to later okay?"

Chay rushed up to him, "P'Book I'm so sorry, I don't know what happened. I'm sorry!" Chay exclaimed as he ran his eyes over Book, tears threatening to fall. Book softened.

"Hey, hey Chay," he soothed, "it's okay. I'll let you know when I get home okay?" Chay nodded and let Book leave.

Chay turned and glared at Kim. "What the heck was that for? Are you crazy?"

Kim glared right back, "He kissed you and you let him!"

"I don't see the big deal, you seem to kiss whoever you want. I don't see why I can't do the same. And he kissed me, not the other way around!"

Chay was slightly pleased with knowing that Kim was upset that someone else kissed him, but he knew that Kim shouldn't be mad at something he caused. He didn't like Chay so he had no right to be mad.

Kim felt rage flood through his veins at the implication of Chay kissing other people. He knew that picturing Chay's soft full lips pressing against someone else’s and picturing his eyes shining afterwards as he looked at his partner would only cause him to act rashly. He closed his eyes and took a few deep breaths.

Get yourself together and calm down. Don't do anything to hurt Porschay so you better get yourself together. Calm down before you say or do something hurt him. Don't hurt him because you love him.

Once he uttered the word again, love, he left himself calming down. I love him, I love Porschay.

He opened his eyes and turned to face Chay, who looked at him wide-eyed. "I'm sorry," Kim bit out. "I didn't mean to scare you. I just saw him kissing you and I lost it. I shouldn't have hit him."

He walked closer to Chay but stuttered to a halt the second he saw the younger step away and flinch. Seeing Chay afraid of him, the opposite of how he used to look at him, shattered Kim to pieces.

"I'm not going to hurt you Chay, I swear, I would never lay a hand on you," Kim said, his voice was on the urge of begging. "Please, I need to talk to you. I don't have to come inside if you don't want me to but I need to tell you everything."

"It's been weeks P'Kim, why should I listen to you now?"

"I stayed away because that's what your brother asked of me. I thought it would be for the best for you, but I couldn't take it anymore, I needed to see you."

Chay looked at him as if he was trying to see if Kim was being sincere or not. After a few seconds, he sighed and opened the gate. "You can come in, but I am only giving you twenty minutes to explain yourself and then you have to go."

Kim nodded and let himself in the second it was wide enough, walking passed Chay into the house. Once Chay opened the door, they sat down on the couch in the living. Kim opened his mouth to speak, but Chay raised his finger to stop him as he pulled out his phone and started a timer for twenty minutes.

Oh so he wasn't kidding.

Once he pressed "start", Kim began speaking. "I want to apologise to you first. It was by chance that I saw you at the concert at the university, but once I knew who you were I decided to investigate further by tutoring you. I know what I did was terrible and an awful thing to do but I was trying to protect my family. You love your brother and he loves you and you would anything for him just like he did for you. And I know that you and brother are innocent and the problem is coming from elsewhere. And I am sorry you got stuck in the middle of this, because you, Chay, you are the last person who deserves this. I am sorry that I used you like this."

Chay took a shaky breath, pretty sure that he was going to start crying soon.

"Did any of it mean anything to you? Wait don't answer that, I don't want to know. But it all makes sense: you asking questions about my brother, coming to my house without me ever telling you where I lived, you going through my stuff, and those text messages on your phone. I don't even know who that man was, he just started talking to me on my way home.

"And I understand the need of protecting your family. Hia lied to me because he had to. He did all of this so my school fees would be paid for, my people after my uncle would leave me alone, and so I would be protected. He did all of this to protect me, you didn't have to anything of this. You could have asked P'Kinn to investigate Porsche or something else. You didn't have to do personally. It didn't have to be you." The last sentence came out muffled as he put his face in his hands.

Seeing Chay like this made Kim want to die - it made him feel like someone was pulling his heart out of his chest.

"I know it's not an excuse Chay but I swear, I thought I was doing the right thing. You asked me if any of this meant anything to me, and it did. It was real-"

"Stop!" Chay yelled, clasping his ears with his hands and closing his eyes, as if Kim would disappear.

Kim smiled as he pulled his hears away from his head. The younger pulled his hands away from Kim's but he held on tighter. He needed Chay to know how he felt about him.

"It was all real to me. The first time I met you, I thought that you were beautiful, you have the most beautiful smile I have ever seen. That was the only thought I had of you when we met the first few times. Slowly, Chay, I met up with you because I wanted to not because I had to. I started staying longer, playing games with you, eating with you because I wanted to. I couldn't stop myself from not being with you, I need it."

He got closer to Chay who moved back until the couch stopped him. "I need you," Kim whispered.

"All the moments we spent later on, every hug, every time we held hands," he took a deep breath, "our kiss," Chay turned red, "it was real to me."

"I try to live a normal life as I can, but I do acknowledge how dangerous it can be and I don't like the idea of bringing you into it. However, I can't not have you in my life. I tried and it was torture. I am so sorry for hurting you and I promise that I will never hurt you like that ever again."

He looked at Chay, who had tears running down his soft cheeks. Kim raised his hand to wipe them away but put it down instead.

"I don't believe you," Chay spoke lowly. "I want to but I feel so hurt and humiliated that the guy I like was just spending time with me for information that I don't have. My self-esteem is pretty low right now," he let out humourless laugh.

Kim's chest ached knowing that he caused this, that he caused Chay to feel awful about himself but he needed him to know that this had nothing to with him but Kim himself. He also picked up on Chay saying that he liked him, so that made him have hope.

"Chay, I went about this the wrong way. You're right; there were simpler ways to go about it and this wasn't it. I'm sorry."

He glanced at the timer, noticing he had three minutes left, and he was going to make the most of it.

"I love you." Chay looked up at him so fast he heard a crack. "I am in love with you, that's why I couldn't stop myself from spending time with you. That is why I kissed you. I was never good with emotions and I tend to keep to myself and not let anyone in but you were the one made me start feeling things that I haven't felt in a long time. I'm selfish Chay. I love you and I need you to forgive me so I can gain your trust again. You make me so happy. You are kind, funny, and so smart. Seeing you smile makes me so happy. You make me so happy and I know I can make you feel the same. You deserved to be treated so well and I can treat you like that. I want to be with you Chay, I want to be with you so much."

The timer rang, signaling the end of their discussion. Leaving was the last thing Kim wanted to do but he was happy that he got to share everything with Chay. He felt lighter looking at him.

He may have felt better but judging by the frown on Chay's face, he may not have thought so.

"I like you P'Kim," he said playing with his fingers, "and I want to be with you, but I can't be with someone who I don't trust. I can forgive you and I will but I don't think I will be able to trust you again. I'm going to need time."

Kim's heart cracked. He has never had an interest in others romantically, he was interested only for the physical aspect. Chay was different, he had Kim craving love, affection, all the things he never cared about. And him saying that he won't be with him hurts more than he could have imagined.

He cleared his throat. "I understand. I want you to take all the time you need, but understand that I'm a selfish man Chay, and I'll do whatever I need to do to have you by my side again."

Chay looked up with wide eyes, they were slightly red and swollen due to him crying. He didn't say anything, because what could he say? There was so much going on in his head.

Kim sighed, "I'll head out, but thank you for letting me in and letting me talk to you."

Kim got up to head out and Chay followed Kim out and locked the gate as he drove away. The second he got back into his house, he picked up his phone and called Kinn.

"Hello?" Kinn answered.

"P'Kinn! P'Kinn, P'Kinn, P'Kinn!" Chay yelled.

"Porschay! What's wrong, what happened?" Kinn sounded frantic and there was noise in the background indicating that he was moving around. Maybe he thought that Chay was in trouble.

"No nothing happened! I know you said that I could call during emergencies but I need to talk to Hia, and you if you want."

Suddenly he heard himself echo in the call, which indicated that he was put on speaker.

"Chay what's going on? You know you can only call in emergencies," his brother slightly scolded him, even though Chay can tell that he also wanted to speak to him.

"But it is an emergency," he paused, "kind of. P'Kim told me that he loves me."

"What?" both men screeched into the phone, causing Chay to pull his phone away from his ear.

"He contacted you? Did he come by the house? What happened, tell us everything," Porsche commanded, Kinn nodding right next to him. Kinn never expected himself to immersed in teen drama, but here he was and if he was being honest, he was actually enjoying himself. After spending one day with Chay, he understood why Porsche loved him so much (with the added fact that they were brothers). Chay was a lovable person and Kinn also wanted to protect him.

Chay knew he wasn't going to tell them everything - he respected Kim enough to not share his personal confessions.

"P'Kim came to the house right when I was walking home with P'Book, Beam's older brother." Kinn's eyebrows rose at the mention of the older brother, remembering his text to Kim.

"Right when it was time for me to go in, P'Book kissed me, twice!"

"He kissed you? I'm going to kill him," came from Porsche.

"In front of Kim?" that came from Kinn.

Chay heard a chuckle, "wow Porschay, never thought you would have two men running after you."

Chay flushed, embarrassed, "P'Kinn stop it!" he pouted, "I didn't want P'Book to kiss me, to be honest. After the first kiss, I told him that I liked someone else but he kissed me again. It only lasted a few seconds so I didn't have time to push him away. But I guess P'Kim saw because he pushed P'Book and punched him!"

Porsche shook his head disapprovingly and glared at Kinn when he noticed him smirking, clearly proud of his brother.

"But then, Kim let him go and told me that he wanted to talk to me. So I let him in and we talked about everything that happened. And before he left, he told me that he loves me and that he wants a second chance so he can show me that he's serious about me."

"And how do you feel about that?" Porsche asked.

Chay sighed, laying his head on the couch cushion. "I don't know. I really like him Hia and I want to believe him, but what if he's just lying? What if he just feels guilty for what happened, and once I forgive him, he leaves? I want to be with him but I can't trust him."

Porsche sighed, understanding the damage that has been to his brother. "I know trusting someone after they hurt you is scary, because you know what they are capable of doing," he started, ignoring the stare Kinn was giving him. "But if Kim is owning up to what he did and will make up for it and rebuild your trust for him with his actions, then it might be worth it. Being upset at someone, being angry at them takes a lot of energy, even when they deserve it sometimes. Forgiveness makes the healing process much easier. You don't have to forgive him yet, and if and when you do, you don't even have to be with him; the relationship part does not have to be guaranteed if you don't want it to. I don't like how he hurt you, but if you want to be with him, then I support you. Whatever you want to do Chay, I am here."

Chay can feel the tears; dang, how many times did he cry today?

"Thank you Hia, thank you P'Kinn. I think I have an idea of what to do."

After their goodbyes, Chay decided to and then head to bed, exhausted even though he didn't do much.

--

This is the last thing Chay was expecting when he was let out of school for the day.

His plan was to go home (alone since he told Book to stop picking him up), do homework and study, and play some games before sleeping. He was not expecting to get picked up by Kim.

As he kept walking to the school entrance, the expensive sportscar became more visible as did the figure leaning against the hood of the car. Kim looked effortlessly handsome as per usual, one hand in her pocket and the other holding his phone, with his sunglasses perched on his nose. His hair looked good (as it always did) and he was dressed in brown pants and a white shirt with a brown leather jacket.

He excreted confidence, noticing how every student, teacher, and school guard kept looking back at him but simply not caring.

Wow, he is so handsome.

Chay shook his head to get rid of those thoughts as he walked passed Kim's car hoping that he doesn't get noticed. It shouldn't be too hard since he was on his phone anyway.

"Chay!"

He stilled, closing his eyes. His hands grasped the straps of his backpack tightly.

I spoke too soon.

He slowly turned around to see Kim standing a meter away from him, eyes away from his pocket. He got up from where he was leaning and walked to where Chay was.

He pulled off his glasses and smiled, and Chay's heart did a little flip seeing the older man's eyes shine in the sun.

His eyes are beautiful, it was one of (many) Chay's favourite features of his.

It had been a week since he last heard from Kim, and Chay truly thought that Kim forgot about his promise to him. He was pleased that he kept it but no one needed to know that but himself.

"How was school?" Kim asked, not caring about the many eyes on them. A good amount of students stopped and watched their interaction once Kim called Chay's name.

"It was good but, um, what are you doing here?" Chay asked as he tried looking away from all of the peering eyes.

"I came to pick you up."

"Um why?" Chay frowned.

"I wanted to take you home and spend some time with you."

"Oh no that's okay, I can walk," he forced himself to smile.

Kim frowned, reaching out to Chay but stopped when he saw Chay flinch.

"At least let me drive you home, that's it, just taking you home."

"No thank you P'Kim. Have a good day," and with that he turned around and willed himself to walk away.

The next day, there was a buzz throughout the entire school and everyone, in Chay's class and in other classes and years, came by his classroom to take a glimpse at the student who had a gorgeous older man waiting for him. Thankfully, they didn't seem to notice that the man was Wik, because that would cause a stronger uproar.

When the school day was over, Chay was surprised to see Kim waiting for him again. But like yesterday, he walked passed him and went home by himself.

The same routine lasted for the next few days when finally, the day came when there wasn't a sportscar greeting him at the end of the day along with its owner.

Chay had mixed feelings: in a way he was relieved that his schoolmates could finally have not have something to talk about, but at the same time he was upset. He knew that it was stupid of him, considering that he was the one pushing Kim away, so it was about time that he would stop and move on. It was time for Porschay to do the same as well.

He was lost in his thoughts when someone pulled at his backpack. Chay turned around in fright only to see Kim smiling behind him. Chay frowned, placing his hand on his upbeat heart, "P'Kim, what are you doing?"

Kim smiled sheepishly, "I didn't mean to scare you, sorry. I am here to take you home."

Chay turned around, "no thanks," and kept walking. What he didn't expect was for Kim to fall in place with him.

"What are you doing?" he asked incredulously.

"I am walking you home," he shrugged, like he had nothing better to do. "I told you that I was serious about you, and if I am not driving you home, then I am walking you home. This is only the beginning so get ready."

Chay didn't say anything but continue to walk home, if not a little faster. He didn't expect Kim's car to be parked next to his house. Kim stopped in front of the gate and bid farewell to Chay. The younger was relieved that Kim respected that he didn't want him in his house yet.

"I'll see you tomorrow," and with that Kim went inside his car and sped off.

--

Kim picking him up and walking him home became a routine that he became used to. At first Kim would break the silence by sharing about his day, the songs he was working on, and anything that came to mind. Soon Chay started to open up, sharing bits and pieces about his day. As much as he didn't like to admit it, he started to look forward to Kim picking him from school.

--

A month after the whole incident, Chay received a letter in the mail. Usually he doesn't any mail sent to him knowing that Kim's family takes care of their expenses. This letter was addressed to him, which was kind of concerning but curiosity got the best of him and he opened the letter.

It was very small piece of paper, and Chay thought it was a waste of money to send something as small as a post-it note.

His mouth opened in shock when he opened the small note.

Your smile is like the sun - bright and beautiful, and I never want to see it stop shining

The note didn't have a author nor did the envelope have a return address but Chay knew who exactly wrote it. It was cheesy and cliche but it made him smile, nonetheless. Kim was never really into the whole romance scene even though he was a singer, so it was unexpected. Yet Chay knew to keep his guard up.

The notes kept coming in many days of the week until Chay had a whole drawer full of them. Not only had he received them in the mail, Kim also started texting them in the morning and evening.

Speaking of texting, Chay actually started responding to Kim's texts. He would receive random messages about his day like what he was doing or what he was eating. He also asked if Chay had eaten, if he should pick something up for him before he came to pick him up. It was sweet (the bare minimum but sweet).

"I want to take you out on a date," Kim mentioned randomly over some cake and drinks. Chay casually mentioned that he hadn't eaten in the morning due to being stressed about an exam, so Kim pulled him towards the nearest cafe where they shared a slice of cake. It was more like Chay eating it as Kim got two bites in, but he was happy to see the younger man eating so contently.

Chay choked on his mouthful of cake and Kim pushed his mango black tea drink to him.

"What?" Chay asked once he was able to calm down.

"Go on a date with me," Kim said simply, taking a sip of his drink, wincing at the sweetness from the mango jasmine tea Chay had ordered for him.

"Oh I, uh, I don't know," Chay nervously laughed. He was too nervous to make eye contact with Kim as he made a mess out of the cake in front of him.

"Hey," a hand was placed on top of his, making him look up at Kim. The older man's eyes looked kind as he smiled and covered Chay's hand with both of his own. He internally high-fived himself noticing how this was the first time Chay didn't push him away or let go.

"We don't have to if you don't want to. I just want to spend more time with you in an intimate setting but if you don't feel comfortable, I am more than happy with what we're doing now, okay?"

Chay believed him.

"No! I'm just nervous, I've never been on a date before and it's you and I, uh..." he trailed off.

Kim smiled, tightening his grip around Chay's hand.

"Don't worry, think of it as us hanging out, okay? So what do you say: Chay, will you go on a date with me?"

Chay nodded, cheeks flushed as he took a forkful of his cake. Kim smiled as he watched him, their hands not letting go of each other.

--

"Wow," Kim looked awestruck as he met Chay by the gate of his house. He was dressed in simple tan pants, white t-shirt and a light green and white button down over it. Chay had never seen him dressed this way before - so light- but he looked so handsome.

Chay himself was wearing light khaki pants with a tan sweater and a white collared shirt underneath. He didn't know what their date consisted of but all Kim said was "dress simple" so he tried his best.

"You look so beautiful," Kim breathed, pushing off of his car and walking to Chay. He leaned closer to Chay, who didn't lean back, "You're so beautiful, Chay."

Chay flushed as Kim pulled away from him and opened the door of passenger side of his car. They soon drove to an open grass area he never been to before. It looked like it came straight out of a travel catalogue and by the looks it, it probably was. There was a lake and waterfall near them. Kim pulled out a picnic basket from the backseat of the car and walked to an area near the waterfall. They were surrounded by trees, which gave them a bit of privacy away from the families and other couples.

Kim told Chay to just stand and "look pretty" (all while winking) as he laid out the blanket and sorted out the food on the blanket. Kim took Chay's hand and pulled him down next to him. They made conversation all whilst sharing food, and feeding each other fruit, reminding Chay of the time they were in the music room.

Soon they were laying down with Kim on the ground and Chay's head resting on his stomach. Their hands found each other shortly. All they did was talk - about everything - and Chay found that he missed being with Kim like this. He missed spending time with him, like this.

"I missed you P'Kim," Chay mumbled, so low that he wouldn't be surprised if he wasn't heard.

Kim quickly sat up so he can look down at him. His free hand caressed Chay's face, stopping at his soft cheeks. "I missed you too, Chay. I'm so glad that you let me take you on this date."

Chay smiled, "Me too, P'Kim."

--

Chay hummed as he walked through the mall. He was tired from the school day so all he wanted to do was get what he needed to get and go home and rest. And maybe, maybe, talk to Kim. He could feel a smile coming just thinking about the older man.

They spoke on the phone the days they didn't meet. Kim picked him up from school every day, alternating between driving and walking, but recently the older had been so tied up with his work in the studio that he wasn't able to pick Chay up as much. They still texted throughout the day and called. Chay felt like he was in a relationship, well he was sort of.

Kim never specified anything about their relationship and Chay never asked, but he was assumed that he was waiting until Chay said he forgave him. Kim had with him since the beginning and worked to make sure Chay knew that he wanted to be with him, not doing things just for his forgiveness. He has been very patient with Chay, and his trust Kim has been increasing. Chay knew that he still had a little bit to go but he was sure that Kim would make sure that Chay had full trust in him.

Chay walked passed most of the store, only peering through the windows; he couldn't afford most of them but it still didn't hurt to look. He just needed a new pair of shoes, which he had already bought, and few pairs of pants. Fatigue ran through his body as he saw the store ahead.

There were a few lounge chairs in the centre of the walkway, where groups of people were spread out. They reminded Chay of his friends, whom he haven't gone out with in a while. Most of his time was wither spent at school or with Kim. Although, the older man had met Chay's friends through video call.

Walking ahead, he saw three men sitting around a round table, laughing. One of them looked very familiar until he realised that it was Kim. He did recall him telling Chay that he was going to be spending the afternoon with his friends and then go home to call him. Chay decided that he was just going to walk passed them, because he didn't know how Kim would act if Chay went up to him. He did trust Kim more but those insecurities were there and it would take a long time for them to go away. He also didn't know if Kim's friends had any idea who he was.

"Chay!"

The younger man jumped as he turned around to see who called him. It was no one other than Kim, Chay wasn't surprised. He blinked as Kim walked up to him with the biggest smile on his face.

"What are you doing here?" he asked, reaching out his hand to fix a stuck out strand of Chay's hair.

"I needed to get some clothes and shoes," Chay replied shaking the bag in his hand.

"You're with your friends?" he asked, nodding at the two other men who were looking at them curiously.

Kim nodded as he held Chay's hand. They have held hands many times in these past months yet he still managed to get flustered every time. Before he could say or do anything, Kim led him over to the table.

"Chay, these are my friends Oak and Forth. Guys, this is Porschay." Kim didn't use a title for Chay yet the way he was smiling said everything for him. He pulled out the chair next to him and guided Chay to sit down. Chay politely wai'ed to the older men as he sat down. Once they sat down, Kim hung his left arm over Chay's chair and kept the younger man's right hand in his.

Chay was sure that he was never more uncomfortable as he was in that moment. Sure, he was pretty outgoing when it came to Kim, Porsche and his friends, but he was also really shy around people he didn't know. He kept his gaze lowered to the table or to their joint hands. Chay supposed that it was a good thing that Kim was being affectionate in front of his friends, knowing that Kim was a private person. It showed that Kim wanted to show how important Chay was to him.

"So, Porschay, how did you and Kim meet?"

Chay looked up wide-eyed, not really expecting to be spoken to. He was planning on making an excuse to leave in the next five minutes.

"Oh, um P'Kim and I met at the open house at the university I wanted to attend. He offered to become my guitar tutor."

Oak and Forth shared looks of disbelief as they looked at each other. "Kim offered to tutor you?" Chay nodded. "Kim doesn't tutor anyone."

It's because he was trying to get more information on my brother, he thought bitterly.

It was like Kim knew exactly what he was thinking because his right hand tightened its grip on his hand. There was no point in acting like it never happened, but it still hurt to think about although they were both moving on from it.

"Chay is different," Kim finally spoke. His voice was serious, deep; Chay hadn't heard him like this since Kim told him that he loved him.

Chay felt his cheeks and ears flush as he looked up at Kim with his doe-like eyes. Kim smiled wide at him and Chay felt him doing the same. They were met with Kim's friends clearing their throats. Chay looked at them to see them slightly smirking at the two. Chay knew that Kim was a private person, that he was never interested in romantic relationships before him, so he assumed that his friends also never bared witness to seeing him so enamored.

Kim cleared his throat and looked back at Chay, his voice softening, "Did you buy everything or you need more?"

He nodded, "I still need pants, then I will go home."

Kim nodded and stood up, "Alright. Guys, I'm going to go with Chay. I'll see you later?"

Chay was going to protest, but the two men were already waving them off. He was pulled out of his seat and into Kim's side. They made their way to the store and Chay quickly bought what he needed to buy and soon the pair left the mall and Kim drove Chay home.

Kim was about to get out of the car when Chay pulled onto the sleeve of his jacket. He sat back into his seat looking at Chay with concern etched on his face.

"Everything okay?"

Chay nodded, fumbling with the fabric of Kim's jacket. "Yeah, but I uh, I wanted to talk to you about um something." The nervousness was leaking out of his voice at this point. Kim grabbed his hand and held it in his, thumb caressing the much smaller hand. He didn't say anything but waited for Chay to continue.

"So uh I know that we have been spending a lot of time together these past months. And I wanted to thank you for being patient with me." Chay could feel every part of his body pump blood and he was sure that he was sweating. "I missed you," he confessed, looking up at Kim who was looking at him with adoration and sincerity pouring out of his eyes.

"I missed you too, so much Chay," Kim said, pulling his hand closer to kiss his knuckles.

"I told you that I would do whatever I could to make you see how much I love you and how much I deserve to be with you. That still stands, but if you ever want me to leave, I will. I don't like it but I will leave if you ask me to. If you want me to stay, I will."

Chay's bottom lip quivered as fat tear drops fell from his eyes.

"I want you to stay, I want to do this relationship properly. I don't trust you one-hundred percent yet but I do trust you, and I want to continue to build my trust in you," he cried as Kim wiped his tears.

"Then we'll do this properly, Chay. I'll treat you so right, thank you," Kim spoke with his voice trembling. He held Chay's hand so tight, he was sure he was going to lose circulation soon but didn't say anything.

"Just one thing," Chay said. Kim moved closer so they could press their foreheads together, eyes closed.

"Anything. Ask for anything and I'll do it."

"Don't break my heart."

Kim pulled back with tears welling up. He held the back of Chay's head and pulled him into a tight hug. The centre console separated them, making it a bit comfortable for but they didn't care.

"Never again. Never again, Chay."

---

1 year later

"Chay!"

Chay jumped as a pair of arms engulfed him and spun him around. He let out giggles being placed down on the ground and smiled as he felt a pair of lips press against his forehead. He looked up to see Kim beaming at him and was pulled in a hug once again. Chay closed his eyes and let out a sigh, completely relaxing against his boyfriend.

Chay took his last exam today, signaling the start of summer holidays. He couldn't believe that he finished his first year of university but overall, it had been a blast. He made new friends, enjoyed his faculty, and best of all, he got to spend time with Porsche, Kinn, and Kim.

"I missed you," Kim mumbled against his neck.

"I missed you too," Chay said back, pulled back and tilted his chin up.

Kim smiled, understanding what Chay was asking for. He leaned down and kissed him.

After they reconciled, they started to spend (way more) time together in intimate settings. Kim was very patient and respected Chay's boundaries. It took weeks for Chay to allow Kim into his house and even more time for to be okay with going to Kim's apartment. Six months after they established their relationship, Chay allowed Kim to kiss him. They were still slowly setting up new boundaries but Kim was over the moon. He was happy with however he could have Chay. With the younger by his side, he could care less what they did.

Chay smiled as Kim cradled his face in his hands, puffing his cheeks out. "You're so cute," Kim pecked his right cheek.

"So beautiful," right cheek.

"Smart," forehead.

"Talented," nose.

He continued to pepper compliments and kisses all over Chay's face, who let out the loudest laughs that echoed throughout the hall of the mansion. He came to visit his brother for the beginning of his holidays. Kim came by to take part in a meeting with his brothers and father.

"You're acting like you haven't seen him years. You saw him this morning," they pulled apart to see their brothers walking towards them. Porsche looked less than impressed seeing the youngest Theerapanyakun standing so close to his brother. Kinn, on the other hand, looked bored.

"Like you're any better," Kim fired back and Kinn shrugged his shoulders, pulling Porsche closer to him by the waist.

"Shall we go then?" Kinn asked, spinning the car keys to the new sportscar he recently bought. They were going to out to a restaurant to celebrate Chay finishing his first year at university.

Chay nodded, as Kim unhooked his bag from his shoulder and handed it to a house cleaner, instructing her to bring it to his room. They clasped their hands together as they followed their brother. As they made their way to the entrance, Chay stopped walking. Kim looked at him, frowning. "Everything okay?"

Chay nodded, smiling at him as he leaned up on his toes to kiss Kim.

"I love you P'Kim."

Kim smiled, eyes full of the love he had for his boyfriend.

"I love you too Chay."