S T A R S T R U C K

"So I always saw this coming, the impending loneliness. The deafening silence that everyone else left behind. It's not completely silent yet, but I can feel the last voices flutter away slowly. But I'm still here, exactly where I wanted to be. Proud of my progress, just with a little more regret.
So can you really blame me for trying to make more memories with my people before they'd all eventually find their ways and establish their lives out of my reach? But I'll be right here, a little brighter than what I would've been if I didn't meddle too much."
Shinsuke didn't know what to say, how to tell her how much he cared about a nameless, faceless stranger he met on the internet.
He didn't know how to make it make sense, that even after days of not hearing her voice, he could still see her clearly every time he closed his eyes, only now when he opened them, she wasn't there.
He didn't know he was also stuck in an existential void until her voice left it.
OR
Shinsuke picked up singing and became a cover artist, meeting an imperfect stranger who easily became the most perfect being in his life.

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Chapter 1: The Beginning

Chapter Text

Shinsuke wiped his forehead as he watched the sunset over the horizon of his vast mountain farm. It was beginning to get chilly.

"Good job, everyone. Don't forget ta clean up 'n get refreshments before ya leave."

"Yes, sir."

He went from having to work alone on the farm to having three farmhands, which was very convenient now that he has been picking up other...hobbies.

He picked up his tools and made his way to the shed. Once he had cleaned and put them back in their proper place, he made his way back home and jumped into the shower.

His grandmother already had dinner ready for him, as she's been doing since he started working on the farm. As much as he missed preparing dinner together, he can't really complain, given the convenience to both him and her – him because of the time it takes for him to come back home and her because the doctor recommended her working around the house to help her joints; although he did wish his younger brother, Naoto, would help her around the house more.

Shinsuke loved the daily routine he set up for himself. He had it all planned, from the tiniest of details like the designated spots of the toiletries, to the bigger things like the timing of his commute to and from the farm. Even the time he'd have dinner with his grandmother and Naoto was all planned. This way, even if something was slightly off, he could easily pick it up, and it gave him a sense of control.

However, his brother's suppressed smile during dinner set off his senses and caused an odd feeling to stir up in his stomach.

"How was yer day, Naoto?" He couldn't help his curiosity.

"Oh, it was good, nothing out of the ordinary."

"Did ya miraculously score the highest in something?"

"Nii-chan!" Naoto retorted and the other two laughed. "Well, I'm not the one who seems to have scored today."

His words intrigued Shinsuke, but he had a feeling he wouldn't get any more information in front of their grandmother.

As usual, after washing up the dishes, Shinsuke made his way to his studio. Ever since Osamu suggested he take up music a few years back after hearing him sing while tending the farm, making cover songs and putting them up on social media has filled up the void volleyball had left him since graduating high school.

He was unsure at first, fame wasn't something he ever planned on experiencing. But posting on social media (and only on social media) kept the attention contained. Plus, with Gin's help with video editing and Naoto's help with interacting with the audience, he could focus on both farming and singing without one messing up the other. Things have been going great; for him, his farmhands, his social media team, and his audience of 10,000 on Instagram.

Naoto mainly manages YouTube and Shinsuke replies to the comments or posts stories on Instagram every night.

Given that he just reached 10,000 on Instagram, he had a very important story to post tonight.

He picked up the kohl and bent in front of his desk mirror before smudging it ever so slightly along the corners of his eyes. Then he picked up his phone and started recording a story.

"Hello everyone. I wanted ta come online t'night 'n thank ya'll for 10,000 followers! This genuinely means a lot ta me 'n ma team, so we wanted ta do somethin' special for ya.

We will be contactin' 20 of ya ta present each of ya with a special surprise as the new year starts. So keep an eye on yer dms. Ya don't have ta do anythin' special ta qualify for this, other than bein' one o' the first 10,000 followers.

Lookin' forward ta talkin' to ya. G'night 'n stay blessed."

He posted the story and went to the comment section of his latest IGTV post, which was his cover of Boyfriend by Dove Cameron.

Atsumu had the idea of asking the audience if he should cover all the songs named Boyfriend or all the songs named Heart Attack and Boyfriend won. This was the last video of the series.

He started reading through as many comments as he could, liking the ones he appreciated and even replying to some of them.

He went through the comments for about 20 minutes before finding the one he had been subconsciously looking for:

badbitchincognito03: "I can be a better boyfriend than him" hmm.... waking up to that voice every morning? Already 100x a better boyfriend 😉

Shinsuke laughed softly.

In the past year or so, badbitchincognito03 had been one of his most frequent commenters; or at least one of the ones he had noticed the most. The earlier comments were mostly polite and encouraging, but since he started responding to them, they've evolved into more constructive criticism with the occasional flirting.

While not knowing all his 10,000 followers had made replying to them easier, the fact that he knew absolutely nothing about badbitchincognito03 made it much easier. Meaning, her entire profile had only one post, an inanimate visual art of a chibi character, which was also her profile picture. The character could be a chibi of themselves, with the funky hair and the leather jacket and the motorbike. The caption read: "Created by @hitokayachi on commission (so I can use it however I want but ya'll can't or we can sue you!)

The only other pieces of information were in their bio:

Bad Bitch Incognito
she/her
23
Pisces
No I don't care for zodiac but I wanted to put one more thing in there
Here for shits and giggles

So it could 100% be a troll account and Shinsuke could just be wasting his time giving her any attention at all, but he liked to believe the "Incognito" and imagine it's just someone who doesn't want to be perceived online but still interact. Also, he liked interacting with her.

shinsuke: So all you're really looking for is a good voice?

About a few minutes later, he got a reply.

badbitchincognito03: ***great voice 😍

badbitchincognito03: The face doesn't hurt either jussayin 😉

★・・・・・・★・・・・・・★・・・・・・★

"Nii-chan!" Naoto screamed as he ran through the field to where Shinsuke was. When he reached the older Kita, he bent down, hands on his knees, catching his breath.

"What is it, Naoto?"

Naoto, still panting, raised his index finger, indicating he needs a minute.

Shinsuke excused him until he got back up on his own.

"I went through everything. All of yer videos - yes, all 96 of them - and made a list of everyone who ever commented – yes, all 96 of them – including how many comments they left in each video! There were over 5700 different people!"

"Didn't I tell ya ta not bring up about these while I'm on the farm?"

"Sorry but 'm so exhausted I don't even care!"

Shinsuke sighed and turned back to his younger brother. "Okay, tell me."

"I even checked yer inbox for yer story replies! All of yer 4 years' worth of stories! After days and hours, I finally managed ta make a list of the top 20!"

"Oh?" Shinsuke decided this was his chance to tease his brother a little bit more, you know, since he worked so hard. "Let's see how well ya've done."

He leaned on the fence behind him and crossed his arms over his chest. "Read it aloud."

"Are ya' kidding me?"

"Am I? D'ya think I'll risk disappointin' my top 20 supporters?" Shinsuke tilted his head to the side and arched his eyebrows.

Naoto sighed and began reading the list out loud.

"So should I send them all a generic message for now? Ya can follow up when yer back at the studio?" He asked once Shinsuke approved of the 20. (Remembering the most supportive followers are actually very easy. Naoto didn't even have to work that hard, but Shinsuke was glad that he did.)

"Yes, thank you. That works perfectly."

Naoto really did not disappoint. He really did get the correct 20 people and text them an informative generic message.

Hello, we are glad to inform you that you're one of the 20 chosen for the 10k special prize!

Each of you will receive a cover of your most favorite song ever, dedicated to you, posted on your birthday!

So yes, no one can outnumber your vote this time, no one else gets to have a say in this, whatever song you choose WILL be performed!

Please reply with your most favorite song and your birthday, and we will get back to you soon!

By the time Shinsuke sat down to interact with his supporters, most of them had already replied. He proceeded to note down the birthdays and songs of each of the winners when he received another text.

badbitchincognito03:
Birthday: March 20
Song: Say You Won't Let Go by James Arthur

Shinsuke hadn't heard that song before, so he pulled it up on YouTube.

To say he was pleasantly surprised was an understatement. He really, really loved the song.

Shinsuke never really cared for over-the-top romances and grand gestures. He always wanted a simple peaceful life. So many people had told him over the years that he could've had an amazing job or owned a rewarding business given his academic performance, but his decision never wavered from the simple life of a farmer in the beautiful mountains of Hyogo.

The flashy luxuries were never meant for someone like him. That's why he agreed to sing only on social media, and not go mainstream. He never wanted to give it enough power to interfere with the peace he established in his home, and going mainstream would definitely do that.

This song told the story he wished to live.

Simple, happy, harmonious.

The first meeting, falling in love, having kids, growing old together, everything sounded so beautiful to him.

Troll account or not, this was definitely a song he would love to cover.

He wrote down the song and date and replied:

Shinsuke:
That is a beautiful song.
Looking forward to covering it.

badbitchincognito03:
I'm glad you like it! 🖤
Is this still the plethora of generic 'reply to all'
messages or actually Shinsuke? 🤔

Shinsuke:
No this is actually me.
He did his best with the generic messages, I promise.

The reply didn't come right away. Right as he wrote down the details of the 20th person, his phone pinged again.

badbitchincognito03:
Well, it's a good thing you have someone to do all the
tedious work for you! 😅
That was your social media manager, I'm assuming?

Shinsuke:
Yes, he's also my younger brother.
And I do need someone to help me with managing
since I also have other work to do.

badbitchincognito03:
What could be more important than your music? 😮

Shinsuke:
The farm that my family owns and I manage.

badbitchincognito03:
😱
So you're telling me, you are an insanely talented musician,
a responsible older brother and son, AND a farmer???

Shinsuke wasn't a big fan of emojis, but he assumed this is what Atsumu meant when he said sometimes emojis convey feelings better than words ever can.

Shinsuke:
😅
I try my best.

badbitchincognito03:
no no
If I learned anything about you from your music
alone, it's that you never half-ass anything! 😤
So I wholeheartedly believe you're the best musician,
son, and farmer ever!

Shinsuke:
Well, I hope I can live up to your expectations!
Shinsuke thought for a while before deciding to add this.

Shinsuke:
Also, you missed older brother.

badbitchincognito03:
no, I didn't.
I genuinely believe that no one can be a better
older brother than my oldest elder brother.

That made Shinsuke laugh softly. Her unfiltered honesty really caught him off guard.

badbitchincognito03:
I'm not biased against you, just so you know.
I'm pretty sure you're an amazing older brother
too.
Just not better than mine. 🙃
Because I am biased towards him. 😅

Shinsuke:
Oh no I completely understand.
Don't worry about it.

This was technically Shinsuke's first time conversing with a complete stranger on the internet. Knowing that she sees him as a public figure does make it somewhat easier, but he was still reeling from her candidness.

It'd be a lie if he said he wasn't enjoying the conversation.

Shinsuke:
Just out of curiosity, do you have an older sister?

badbitchincognito03:
nope
I'm the eldest sister.

Shinsuke:
eldest because you're the only sister or
do you actually have younger sisters?

badbitchincognito03:
I have one younger sister, one younger sibling (non-binary),
and a younger set of twins (a boy and a girl)
I have 2 older brothers as well.

Shinsuke:
I wanted to compare your older sister to mine,
but it seems you don't have one.

badbitchincognito03:
Oh don't worry, you can compare yours to my younger siblings'.
Yours is soooooo much better honestly 😪

Shinsuke remembered a remark Naoto and Mayumi, his older sister, made about his position in the family the last time she came over.

Shinsuke:
Middle child struggles to the max!

badbitchincognito03:
IKR!
23 years and I still don't know if my parents were just really
bad at family planning or just horny to the max!

That made Shinsuke laugh. Was it inappropriate? Maybe borderline. Was it witty with a clean delivery? Absolutely!

badbitchincognito03:
Not the best way to make a good first impression 😅
Hello, I am a nervous wreck currently star-struck by
my favorite cover artist and barely keeping myself
from combusting.

Shinsuke:
I didn't mean to leave you on read.
Apologies, I had to take a moment to laugh before
resuming our chat.
I don't think those two are
mutually exclusive, by the way.
So your parents could be both.

badbitchincognito03:
🤣🤣🤣
Gimme a minute
QUAKING

Shinsuke:
I'm sorry
That was inappropriate

badbitchincognito03:
Lmao dw about it
We've been making those jokes since we were kids! 😅
You caught me off guard because I didn't expect you to
join in when we just started talking, given your proper
mannerisms and the way you text.

Shinsuke:
Glad to have been able to return the favor. 😉

badbitchincognito03:
oh 😳
Hey, I know we just started talking but, first, you
reveal you're basically the incarnation of perfection itself,
and then you make jokes about my parents' poor life choices...
Like you already have me on my knees
...with a ring in my hand. 🧎♀💍

Shinsuke:
Well, I must say...I am intrigued

The conversation went on until Shinsuke's alarm went off. It signaled the end of his studio time for the day.

Shinsuke:
I'd love to stay and chat more but I have to go now.
Nice meeting you.
Talk to you later when I have your song ready.

badbitchincognito03:
Ah, I didn't see the time!😅
Thank you so much for talking to me. I'm glad we met.
Good night 🥰

Shinsuke:
Good night.

It may have been a little rude but, the truth stands that this was a stranger on the internet, with a profile that looks very fake.

Shinsuke had never been very fond of the idea of meeting strangers online. Had not he started covering songs, his online presence would've remained non-existent.

The situation may be a bit different now, and this person may seem very real and a true supporter but, the truth remained that she was a stranger, and very likely a troll.

Minimum contact was preferred.

★・・・・・・★・・・・・・★・・・・・・★

Shinsuke had all the 10k special covers planned out by the end of December. He started posting them in mid-January, on the first supporter's birthday.

It was now mid-March and he was on to the fourth cover

Ah, Say You Won't Let Go.

Kita had memorized all the songs, lyrics and guitar, by heart before recording. He was glad this song could very easily be covered with only the guitar and no other instruments.

It was 15th March when he sat down in his studio, guitar and mic plugged in as he started recording the song.

About 2 hours later, he sent Gin 5 recordings before sitting down to record the dedication when he realized he didn't even know her name.

Shinsuke:
Hello, we're working on your song and I realized
I forgot to get your name for the dedication.

badbitchincognito03:
It's okay, you can go with my username.

Shinsuke was afraid this was gonna happen.

While he is completely fine with whatever people use as their insta handles, he refuses to publicly verbally address someone as a bitch. His grandmother taught him better.

Baa-chan would be so disappointed.

Shinsuke:
That's fine and all but, you see, I'm not really comfortable
with the idea of verbally referring to anyone as a bitch.

badbitchincognito03:
🤣🤣🤣
You're so proper Shinsuke-san!
Hold up.

A few seconds pass.

badbishincognito03:
Is it okay now?

It took him a while to realize she changed "bitch" to "bish". It made him smile slightly, but it still wasn't enough.

Shinsuke:
I really appreciate you doing that, but I'm actually
taking people's actual names, regardless of their
insta handles.
Can you please give me your name?

badbishincognito03:
😕
I don't really want to reveal my real name online. 😕
...
How about you call me Kiki?

Shinsuke:
Is that your name?

badbishincognito03:
It's a pseudonym
There's no rule against pseudonyms, is there? 😉

Shinsuke sighed. He would've liked to maintain the same format with every dedication. But he also understands and respects people's decisions to protect their privacy online.

He could've chosen someone else if he was feeling too picky, but Kiki has been here since the very beginning. It would be very unfair to her if he left her out for something so trivial.

Shinsuke:
Alright then.
Kiki.

badbishincognito03:
Ah jeez, Imma have to get used to you calling
me Kiki from now on 😕

Shinsuke:
You can still tell me your real name.
I haven't started recording the dedicated yet.

badbishincognito03:
nah!
I'll be your Kiki 🥰

There's the flirting!

Shinsuke:
Okay, Kiki. Hope you're looking forward to your birthday.

badbishincognito03:
Oh, you have no idea! 🤩
I don't remember the last time I was this excited
about my birthday!

Shinsuke:
I'm glad.

★・・・・・・★・・・・・・★・・・・・・★

Shinsuke has been receiving a lot of responses from the followers he dedicated his recent covers to.

Most of the responses are emotional, sweet, and endearing, however long or short they may be. He was pleased to have made his supporters so happy with a simple dedication. It reminded him of the one time Atsumu got sick and he had to send him home with a care package. In Shinsuke's mind, he did what a captain had to do but Atsumu got very emotional.

Shinsuke isn't sure if he expected exact reactions from each of the followers, but he certainly didn't expect this from Kiki.

badbishincognito03: 🖤

That's the whole comment under the video.

No 2nd comment, no paragraph, nothing.

Just one, singular, tiny black heart.

He didn't know how to feel.

He certainly expected a bigger, more expressive reaction from his most unfiltered and smartmouth follower.

He probably would've let it go by now, but this was supposed to be a birthday gift, and the idea of them not liking his birthday gift was already eating at him.

After a few minutes of deliberation, he decided to ask her directly.

Shinsuke:
Hello, what's your feedback on the cover?
Did you like it?

The reply took longer than necessary.

badbishincognito03:
Hey, sorry for not elaborating.
I'm honestly speechless rn.
The song is really close to my heart,
and I was genuinely unsure about suggesting it,
because I didn't want to feel differently about it,
but I decided to take a chance with you.
And you sang it so beautifully,
I honestly got super emotional.
I couldn't form any words to justify how I felt,
so I decided to leave you my cold, black heart instead.
Thank you so much! Really.
Definitely top 5 best birthday gifts
I ever received in my entire life.

The text made his lips curve upwards.
Troll or not, there's a real person behind all the mystery, and he made them very happy.
Plus, this was the most writing, and least number of emojis Kiki had ever communicated with. Must mean something.

Shinsuke:
In that case, I'm glad.
Your reaction was so different from everyone else's,
I was starting to get worried you didn't like it.

badbishincognito03:
Nonsense!😤
How can any creature with functioning ears
(and eyes) not like it??? 😡🤬

Shinsuke:
I'm honored.

badbitchincognito03:
It's just that I don't express certain emotions well. 🙃
And contrary to popular belief, I'm actually a sucker for romance.
And James Arthur just hits different.
Ed Sheeran too.
Alec Benjamin is getting there.

Shinsuke:
I understand.
Expressing emotions isn't necessarily my strong suit either.
If you couldn't tell.

badbishincognito03:
You really feel every word you sing,
so don't even worry about it. 🤗
Part of what makes your music so beautiful
is that it emits your emotions.🥰
Not something just anyone can achieve.💪

His smile widened. The last time he heard something similar was from his grandmother.

Well, since she is back to her normal self...

Instead of typing out his reply, he chose to record a voice message.
Just to test out her theory.
And since it's her birthday.

She did almost make him question his preparation, so it's only fair.

He hit the mic button and began recording.
"You know I want you, it's not a secret I try to hide..."

He sent her the entire first verse of the song and waited for her reply.
The audio was about a minute, so he expected her to reply in maybe 2 or 3 minutes.
But he got a reply no less than 5 minutes after his audio was seen.

badbishincognito03:
Why you out here trying to steal my heart
with all these extra privileges?
My heart ain't even that nice!

badbishincognito03 sent an audio message.

Shinsuke was about to reply something about her not nice heart, but the audio message completely threw him off.
He didn't even know what this person looked like, but now he could hear their voice.

Whether they were who they have been saying they are, or if they are a creepy middle-aged divorced man living in his parents' basement like Atsumu said.

Fueled by nervous excitement, Shinsuke pushed the play button.
"You think it's easy? You think I don't wanna run to you? But there are mountains..."

It was the next verse of the song, undoubtedly sung by a female. Not a very talented voice, but a female one nonetheless.
It's ridiculous, but the fact that she never lied about her gender gave him hope that she was being honest about everything else too.

badbishincognito03:
As you can clearly see, I am not a singer.
But that's what you get for messing
with a girl on her birthday! 😤

Ah, as feisty as ever.

Maybe it was the relief from the minor confirmation but, Shinsuke, uncharacteristically, decided to tease her a little longer.
"Don't be too hard on yerself now. As long as yer not a singer, yer good."

He grinned as he sent the voice message.

The last text message he got before his phone started ringing read:

THE AUDACITY

He didn't even have time to laugh it out as his notification bar started flashing badbishincognito03 as she called him.

Shinsuke had no excuse, or reason, to receive an unsolicited call from a stranger, but the call took his laughing self by surprise, so much so that he accidentally received it.
Before he realized what he had done, it was already too late. And his grandmother didn't raise him to be rude.

"Hello?"

"Hi there, Mr. Singer." Shinsuke had his palm covering his mouth, as he couldn't stop believing the absurdity of the interaction.

Months ago, he texts a presumable troll account, he has a conversation that makes them feel real. Then he learns about their favorite music, making them seem even more real. But now, in the span of an hour, he hears them sing AND talk over the phone?

He doesn't even know what she looks like. Hell, he didn't even know her name!

"How may I help ya?" He was unsure what to say.
"Well, you could start by finishing the song you started singing. You know, since I am incapable."
"I can help with that." Shinsuke was highly amused. But he also refused to back down. "But the next part is a duet though."
"Oh, I'm pretty sure your perfect voice can cover up any flaws!" He felt challenged. He loved it.
"Okay then. In 3, 2...All I want is to.."

Kiki matched the flow perfectly. Sure she wasn't a singer, but for a non-singer, she did great.

"But I can't have you.....my hands are tied."

Shinsuke placed his phone on the tabletop and began clapping. He couldn't not, you know, given she's not a singer.

"That wasn't so bad, now was it, Mr. Singer?"
"No, it wasn't, Miss..." Shinsuke dragged on a little longer, in hope of learning her occupation. But alas, she is too smart.
"Don't 'miss' me! Tonight, I'm the Birthday Queen!"
"Ah, apologies yer Highness."
"Apology accepted."
"Isn't yer birthday basically over though?"
"Nonsense!" She had a tone of sophistication that was previously not there. "Until the clock strikes 12, I shall remain the Queen!"
"O' course. Forgive this mere peasant, ma Queen"
"Ah, peasants are only capable of perceiving so much! No need to apologize for things beyond your understanding."
"Yer so kind!" Shinsuke wasn't sure how to continue the roleplay, so he decided to change the subject.

It's not every day he enjoys phone conversations with people he barely knows. Plus, he actually likes to hear her voice. And the way she talks.

Tokyo maybe?

"Speakin' of, shouldn't ya be out celebratin'?"
"Oh, we celebrated last night," Kiki stated. "One of my best friends and I share a birthday and we have been celebrating our birthdays together since we were kids."
"That sounds nice."
"It is! And it makes our lives so much easier! Imagine dressing up on your birthday to go to someone else's party."
Shinsuke scoffed. "Well, that's one way ta feel less important."
"Right? So we drove to his parents' place and had dinner with family and close friends, then more of our friends joined us and we partied all night.
We cut the gigantic cake at 12 exactly and then proceeded to get drunk out of our minds."
"Gettin' drunk on a weeknight is a bit irresponsible, don'tcha think?"
"I know right? Can you believe these people?" The silence that followed made Kiki clarify. Shinsuke knew it was rude, but he abhors irresponsibility.
"I only had two drinks. I hate getting drunk and losing control."

Ah, a fellow control freak.

"Plus, how will I enjoy everyone embarrassing themselves if I'm one of them?"

This took him out.

It reminded him of every time his high school buddies would gather when they were all in town and go barhopping. It's always an amusing sight.
One time Gin even took up a dare and went to talk to the 'cute girl' Aran wouldn't stop mentioning - and Akagi was right there!

"I agree. I hope ya got to work on time though."
"Oh yeah, don't worry about that. I managed to get ample good night's sleep despite all the chaos."
"That's good. Ya should replenish the rest of yer sleep now." Shinsuke replied when his alarm went off. "It's late, and 'm pretty sure ya got work in the mornin' "
"I do actually!"
"G'night, yer majesty. And happy birthday once again"
"Good night, Cinderella."

★・・・・・・★・・・・・・★・・・・・・★

Shinsuke had only ever conversed with Kiki twice, and both times he was the one who initiated it.
So imagine his surprise when he noticed a text from her right as he came back home from the farm.

It was sent hours ago when she was probably at work. The timing of it was what had him especially worried. He immediately opened the text.

badbishincognito03:
Hey, you there?

The message did seem to have a subtle urgency to it, but not anything major. Also, it was sent a few hours ago, so the urgency may have dissipated.
Still, it'd be rude to not reply.

Shinsuke:
Hello, I was out on the fields when you texted.
Did you need something?

badbishincognito03:
well THANK FUCKING GOD you're back 😩
I was this 🤏 close to losing my fucking mind

Shinsuke:
Is everything okay?

Shinsuke hadn't spoken to Kiki since her birthday, 3 months ago. A lot could've changed in this time, which could be why she seemed so different.

badbishincognito03:
No Shinsuke-san 😭
I don't normally mind being alone, but MY GOD
I have never been deprived of human contact for this long!
😭

Shinsuke looked at his calendar. It was indeed the middle of the week.

Shinsuke:
Didn't you have work today?

badbishincognito03:
Technically yes, but I was told to not show my face
for a few days.

Shinsuke:
Did you get suspended?

badbishincognito03:
Not exactly
I was sent home very early yesterday because
um
my boss noticed me moving suspiciously
and discovered the injury I was hiding 🙃

Shinsuke:
...
Why were you hiding your injury?
Suspending you, or giving you sick days
for that seems a bit harsh.

badbishincognito03:
Honestly, it was the right thing to do.
I was being irresponsible 😞
I sprained my ankle so it was gonna affect my performance

Shinsuke:
Kiki-san, I don't even know your occupation.

badbishincognito03:
Oh, right.
My work involves a lot of physical labor.
So my sprained ankle was hindering me in many ways.

What's so secretive about her work? It's like having an idea is worse than having none.

Shinsuke:
Then you should've called in sick.
People were going to notice and send you back anyways.

badbishincognito03:
I know I know 😞
It's just that missing work feels wrong 😕
Like a slap in the face to all the years of hard work I did
to get this job, you know? 😕

Shinsuke:
I understand but, if you've worked so hard over
the years to be where you are now isn't that more
reason to be taking care of yourself? If you're not well,
you're only preventing yourself from doing what you love.

badbishincognito03:
I agree, trust me
It's just that, at times like this, it's like I can hear what
people say better.
Normally I don't care what irrelevant people think, but
I guess when I'm in pain, my tolerance level really
plummets and it does get to me
🙁
And this is why I shouldn't be left alone 😃
I'm sorry for bothering you
😕

Shinsuke:
No no, it's fine.
If you're alone when you're feeling like this, I'm
more than happy to talk to you.
😊
Is it okay if I call you?

Shinsuke wouldn't normally call a stranger, but reading her (out of character) sad texts reminded him of being the captain of his high school volleyball team again.

Sure, he still works with Osamu for the shop, Gin still works with him for his videos; and people do work for him on the farm but, these people now are adults who don't necessarily need him the same way his volleyball team needed their captain.

He missed feeling needed.

It wasn't really a problem until 2 years ago when Ren broke up with him and his daily human interactions dropped down to a minimum

His phone pinging broke him out of his reverie.

badbishincognito03:
Sure
I'd like that, actually 😅

Shinsuke smiled and hit the audio call button.

"Hey."
"Hello. Have ya eaten today?"
"Yes, I have! I had lunch and I ordered delivery for dinner."
"And have ya taken any medication?"
"I took some painkillers, but that's pretty much it. Haven't really gotten out of bed in the last few hours."
"Yet ya went to work, in a worse state than this?"
"Listen. I didn't have the patience to hear people say I had it easy when I had been working my ass off for years with this pain, okay?"
"No, I completely understand. Why would people say ya had it easy though?"

Kiki sighed ever so slightly. If it wasn't Shinsuke, it probably would've gone unnoticed.

"Remember when I said my work involves a lot of physical labor? I'm one of those people who were born with...gifts or natural talent, I guess. It's on the more physical side, and I do take advantage of that for my job."
"Physical natural talent, like yer more athletic than an average person?"
"No, it's a lot more like lefties in a world full of right-handed people. Or if someone is super tall. Or super flexible. Like that."
"And because of yer unusual physical trait, people say ya have it easier than others when yer using yer trait in yer work?"
"Ya exactly! I mean sure, I may be wired differently, and sure I may take advantage of that but, is it wrong to make 100% use of all I have? Kinda feels like a waste if I don't.
And, it's not like I didn't have to put extra effort into training this extra trait of mine besides the average training that anyone else gets. I'm the one who chose to take advantage and so I worked for it, since I was in middle school, to make sure I can do the best that I can, just like anyone else."

Shinsuke could hear the passion for her work, the dedication to her craft, the pride in herself.
Kiki, whatever her real name is, has earned Shinsuke's respect and admiration.

"I know when people say these, they're just making excuses for themselves; trying to justify their lackings instead of working hard to become better. So it doesn't bother me most of the time.
But on days like this when I've already allocated my tolerance somewhere else, I hear them denouncing all my hard work, all the sacrifices that I made to be where I am. And that is honestly, so rude."

"I understand how ya feel, to an extent at least. I used ta play volleyball in high school and there were some crazy monsters on ma team.
People would compare 'em to us, regular players, which never even made sense to me. If yer really gonna accept the average players as 'normal' and the ones with natural talent as monsters or geniuses, ya can do so while acknowledgin' all the extra effort they put into their games, their trainin', routines, and everythin'."
"Well, I'm glad you're not one of those ignorant people. It would've been really hard for me to retain my record of having a conversation with you in the comments under all your posts." She finally laughed a little.

"By the way, where are these monster players now?" She asked.
"Three of 'em are professional athletes." Shinsuke could feel pride seeping into his tone. "If yer a volleyball fan, ya will recognize them. They're all on the national team right now. Suna Rintaro, Ojiro Aran and Miya Atsumu."

Silence.

Shinsuke had to check if there was still a connection.

"Hello?" He asked.
"I'm sorry, you're saying you were on Ojiro Aran's high school team?"
"So ya do know them?" Kita smiled.
"Ojiro-san said in an interview that he was the vice captain of the team in his third year in high school. Were you on the team then?"
"Yes, I was. I wasn't a startin' player but I was the captain."

Silence, again.

"Excuse me but, I think I need a moment. I'll call you right back."

With that, Kiki hung up, leaving Shinsuke utterly confused. She did call back in a few minutes.

"I'm sorry, I had to digest everything you said."
"I take it yer a fan?"
"Absolutely! Have you seen Ojiro-san recently?"
Shinsuke laughed. "I have actually. I try not to miss any of their games."
"And you were his captain??? Like...I know I said this once already but, you already have me on my knees? With a ring?"
"And 'm still intrigued!"
"On a different note, since we're on the topic of high school volleyball, I'm from Itachiyama Institute and, MSBY's Sakusa Kiyoomi and EJP's Komori Motoya are from my year, and DESEO's setter Iizuna Tsukasa was my senpai.."
"So, ya are from Tokyo."
"Yep! And if you keep up with women's volleyball as well, Harukawa Maki RMC's setter, was my kohai, FDC's libero Yumeno Himiko and PNK's wing spiker Masamune Kiyoka were in my year, and WSCP's setter Asahina Aoi was my senpai! Iizuna-san and Hina-senpai did get married last year though."

Shinsuke was a little disappointed that she didn't respond to him flirting back, but he was glad to have found something she is interested in. Luckily, it was also something he was interested in.

The conversation evolved to volleyball and high school memories.

Shinsuke learned that Kiki was in the student council, so she knew a lot of people. Much like him, she also kept in touch with the people who were closest to her during that time.

Their conversation flowed smoothly until Shinsuke heard a doorbell on Kiki's end.

"I think that's my dinner," Kiki announced.
"We should both eat now." Shinsuke had completely forgotten about dinner. As happy as he was that he was finally learning about the mystery girl, nothing upset him more than his disrupted routine.

Naoto didn't call me either.

"Thanks for keeping me company, Shinsuke-san!"
"I'm glad I could help. Goodbye."
"Talk to you later!"

Naoto and his grandmother both teased him for messing up his schedule, but Shinsuke barely noticed.

All throughout dinner, even though his body moved normally and consumed the food, his mind was racing through the entire conversation, trying to find out how exactly was Kiki taking care of her sprained ankle.

He came up blank.

She hasn't done anything to treat it.

This was amusing.
Shinsuke was getting an adrenaline rush over something so trivial. But he knew it was probably because it's been a while since he scolded someone for not taking care of themselves.
As unusual as it may seem, Shinsuke was getting excited over having the opportunity to keep someone in check again.
Or maybe it's just the illusion of control over her, because other than this specific incident, she's the only one he had zero control over.

When he went to his studio after doing the dishes, he went directly to his inbox instead of his profile.

Shinsuke:
Have you treated your sprain yet?

badbishincognito03:
Someone has been missing me 😏
I applied ice to it yesterday and I have taken painkillers. 😇

Shinsuke:
That's not treating the wound.
That's just numbing the pain.

badbishincognito03:
Ouch 🤕
That hurt!
I have literally never used this emoji
before in my entire life, so you know it hurts!

Shinsuke:
Do you have an ankle brace?

badbitchincognito03:
I do
I have been wearing it

Shinsuke:
Good, but did you apply an ointment
to the area before wearing it?

badbishincognito03:
😕
No

Shinsuke:
That's no good.
Apply some right away.

badbishincognito03:
I'll do it tomorrow. 😣
I'm kinda sleepy. 🥱

Shinsuke:
If you apply some right now,
you'll get a good night's sleep.
You'll feel much better when you wake up.

badbishincognito03:
Fine 😕
I'll go put it on.

Shinsuke:
No, I need proof.
I don't trust you and your workaholic nature.

badbishincognito03:
You want photographic evidence?
Or just trying to satisfy a fetish you're kinda
embarrassed of? 🤔
Either way, I'm not complaining.

Shinsuke did not foresee how she would turn this around. Sure, they've only communicated a few times now, but he did know she was on the smarter end of the spectrum. And candidly flirty. At the end of the day, he had no one but himself to blame.

I don't have a foot fetish.

His reverie was politely interrupted by the sound of his phone ringing.

It was a video call from badbishincognito03.

His embarrassment was infiltrated with slight excitement and curiosity at the chance to see Mystery Girl's face presented itself to him. This later fueled more embarrassment as he realized he was behaving much like he did when his father used to take them to the candy store after school, behind their mother's back.

He shook the memory off his head and hit the receive button.

"We're you checking yourself out in the mirror before receiving?" was the first thing Kiki asked when the camera turned on.

To Shinsuke's disappointment, she had positioned her phone to not record her face. Maybe it was unintentional, but something told him she meant to do it.

"Nah, I guess I didn't expect a video call."
"You're the one who wanted proof!"

Kiki positioned the phone on what appeared to be a kitchen countertop. She leaned to the side to grab something and he caught sight of her background.
All the kitchen appliances seemed to be high-tech. The fridge was massive. There seemed to be two ovens. The sink was also huge. There were unwashed dishes here and there, and the occasional trash that needed to be thrown away.

It was a mess, but an expensive mess.

Then Kiki came back into view (at least neck and below) with a First Aid kit.
She did mean to do it.
Shinsuke hoped she couldn't see the disappointment on his face.

"Ya could've sent a video, but I do appreciate this."
"Uh huh. You can make sure your fetish is properly satiated."
"Kiki-san I assure ya, I do not have a foot fetish."

Kiki froze.

"Shinsuke-san, are you flustered?"
"Ya tend ta surprise me a lot, Kiki-san." Shinsuke knew better than to not admit something that is right in front of them.
"Really? You don't seem like the type who is easily surprised." She sounded doubtful.
"'m not."
"So you're saying," Kiki moved to be facing him directly (still hiding her face), directing all her attention on him. "I tend to have this effect on you?"

She rhythmically drummed all her fingers on the countertop, the gems of her several rings glinting as they caught the light. They were a stark contrast to her clothing, it seemed. She was wearing a loose nude sweatshirt, and her hair seemed to be up in a bun (or maybe she had short hair). Shinsuke had a feeling her bottom was plain too.

"As of right now, yes, yer the only one," Shinsuke admitted. It was perhaps the aura of mystery that only she holds, coupled with her quick remarks and seemingly 90% immunity to his charm; or maybe it's just that they have never met in person, that Kiki actually had an equal footing with him.

And sure even he flustered her sometimes, but it was so rare, that he was beginning to question his own conduct.

"I must say," Kiki made a gesture of surprise by placing her hands on her chest. "I'm honored! I shall, therefore, not disappoint you!"

She pulled out a tube of what appeared to be aspirin cream and proceeded to get off her seat.

"I'll have to stand up for this." She stumbled on her healthy foot and caught the edge of the counter to steady herself. She then lifted up her sprained ankle and rested it on the seat. She rolled her sleeves up to her elbow and grabbed the tube, pushing cream out onto her hand and proceeded to rub it on her wound.
In the span of a solid minute and a half, Shinsuke noted a few things about her:

Firstly, he's not sure when he saw it but she has black roots, meaning her natural hair color is black.

Secondly, he also caught a glimpse of several ear piercings when she was repositioning herself. This and the 5-7 finger rings she had on earlier told him she did, in fact, love jewelry made of a metal of silver shade, preferably with black or white gems.

Thirdly, her calloused hands were proof of her job requiring physical labor, and also that whatever it was, it required her to be pretty hands-on and handle things. They reminded him of his own, which happened over years of playing volleyball and then working on the farm.

And finally, her forearm and calf muscles showed how much she actually had to move around. Also, she probably goes to the gym. Her black leggings backed that up.

Overall, she seemed to be a pretty physically active person with a love of jewelry.
That's a lot of new information for one day.
The thought made Shinsuke smile.

"And..done!" Kiki announced and brought her foot up slightly, so Shinsuke could see.

Ah. She likes getting pedicures too.
Her toenails seemed to have a black and pink pattern polished on them.

"Thank ya for takin' care of yerself better."
"No, thank you for reminding me to put on aspirin cream. I basically forgot how to function."
"Glad ta have helped. It wasn't much though. Seein' ya alone like this, wish I could help ya more."
"Honestly, I'm glad you're giving me any attention at all. We're all working adults here so we kind of have to get used to the idea of being left alone to take care of ourselves."
"All o' yer siblings got work?"
"Except the twins. They're in their 2nd year of high school. They visited yesterday, but I swear if I hadn't banned them from coming over until the weekend, they'd be here all the time, just to have an excuse to not study!"

The remark reminded him a little of Naoto, and he giggled. "My brother would do the same!"

"Younger siblings are such shits, I tell you!"

Shinsuke laughed a little louder, and Kiki froze.

He assumed it was connection issues, but something told him she was just paying her full attention to his laugh.

"I'll have to wait for this to dry a little before putting the brace back on." She said once he stopped laughing. "Talk to you in a bit?"
"Sure."

Shinsuke went to interact with more of the comments before finally retreating to his bedroom.
Normally he would turn off his phone's wifi connection before going to bed, but today, he was waiting for Kiki.
He went through his nighttime skincare routine, changed into his pajamas, and got into bed.
He looked at a few more comments before his phone pinged.

badbishincognito03:
You still up?

Shinsuke:
I was waiting for you

badbishincognito03:
Sorry to keep you waiting 😕
I just thought I'd get into bed before texting you.

Shinsuke:
No worries.
I'm in bed too.

badbishincognito03:
Oooo 👀
We're in bed together 😏

Shinsuke:
...
That was the worst one from you yet.
I don't even know how to put you in your place right now.

badbishincognito03:
My sincerest apologies! 😩
I tend to disappoint when sleepy 🙃

Shinsuke:
I believe you.

badbishincognito03:
🙃💔

Shinsuke:
Are you actually in bed though?
And do you have your sprained ankle raised up?

badbitchincognito03:
I do! 😎

Shinsuke:
😒
I still don't trust your workaholic nature.

badbitchincognito03:
You're so stubborn!

Shinsuke smiled as he stared at the screen.

His entire life, there had only been a handful of people who called him out even the slightest. Mayumi and his grandmother were the first, Naoto doesn't, even when he wants to, and then there's Aran, Michinari, and...Ren.

I didn't want to date a teammate, but I shouldn't have dated a friend either.

Since they broke up, it's been very awkward for Aran and Michinari to hang out with them every time they were in town, and Shinsuke blamed himself for it. Those two hardly ever get the chance to spend time with their old friends these days, but now they have to divide whatever time they have between Shinsuke and Ren.

Sure, he thought of reaching some middle ground with Ren somehow, but what even is he supposed to say to someone who cheated on him and then proceeded to act like they're the victim? It was easier to just leave things as is and avoid being in the same room to not make the atmosphere even heavier.

His phone pinged him back to reality again.

badbishincognito03 sent a video

Normally, he would be intrigued by the video, but what intrigued him was the text that followed:

badbishincognito03:
We don't kink-shame in this household.

Not even an emoji.

Excitedly, Shinsuke clicked play.

Kiki shot the video with the back camera of her phone, facing the mirror. From the reflection, he could tell the huge mirror was parallel to her bed, giving him a full view of her on the bed.

And then he realized the meaning behind her text.

Oh.

She held the phone in such a way that he couldn't see her face at all. He could, however, see her bunned-up black hair framing her face, her dainty little camisole, and her shorts. Her toned muscles didn't escape him either. He noted her lack of jewelry as well.

Her outfit right now was a stark contrast to how she dressed about half an hour ago.

She traced an X on her exposed chest with the index finger of her left hand, singing "cross my heart, hope to die."
Her finger then traced the side of her phone, "To my lover, I'd never lie. He said, be true", crossing her fingers, "I swear I'll try.In the end, it's him and I."

Shinsuke counted the number of regrets in his life, and 80% of them seemed to be this moment. Sure, Mystery Girl is a real person, with a real job, a real room, a real life, a real story, but she was also a very, very real menace.
He can't even blame her completely either, because he was also playing at it, but she just seemed so much better.

It's the politeness that's been etched into his very being since he was a child, otherwise, no one could mask their menacing nature better than himself.

Shinsuke:
Have you been practicing your singing?
Or is it just your sleepy voice?

badbishincognito03:
glad to know I didn't even have to try
that hard 😉

Shinsuke:
And yet, I am still disappointed.

badbishincognito03:
were you too distracted by something else to
notice the bed?

Shinsuke:
I'm pretty sure you didn't record
your foot being propped up.

badbishincognito03:
🙄

badbishincognito03 sent a photo

She was now properly laying on her bed, with a pillow under her left ankle.

badbishincognito03:
satisfied? 🙄

Shinsuke:
Yes.
Good girl.

badbishincognito03:
😳
Well
Good then.
I'm glad
To have satisfied your non-kink.

Shinsuke:
Are you sure about that?

badbishincognito03:
What's that now?
🤨

Shinsuke:
Good night Kiki-san
You should get some rest or you will
take longer to recover.
Be a good girl and sleep.

badbishincognito03:
I-

Shinsuke turned off his wifi and placed the phone on his nightstand. He'll disrupt his daily routine if he stays up too long.

He got up, only to go to the bathroom, before cuddling up under the covers.

Does Instagram have an option to save videos?

He wondered as he drifted to sleep.

★・・・・・・★・・・・・・★・・・・・・★

Today was recording day, meaning his day off from farm work. His morning routine was basically the same, but instead of going to the farm after breakfast, he went to his studio.

He opened up his video schedules to check for unrecorded dedicated covers.

Half the year was already over, so only 8 dedications were left unposted. And out of them, 2 were already recorded.
He pulled up the song on Spotify and put his headphones on, checking the lyrics to make sure he had it all memorized.

A while later, he felt a tapping on his shoulder, and he turned to look at Gin.

"Good mornin' Kita-san."
"Good mornin' Gin."

He took off his headphones and greeted his kohai.

"Ready to record the song? Mind and vocal?" Asked the sandy-blond man, fixing the microphone and camera.
"Ya, 'm ready."
"Pretty sure I don't have to ask ya, but, have ya had yer tea?"
"I have."

Shinsuke smiled at how responsible his kohai has become. The once hyper-positive, yet nervous boy has grown up to be an organized and trustworthy gym instructor.

It filled him with a sense of pride.

Sure not all of his old teammates are living a life as flashy as Atsumu, Aran, or Suna, but everyone has grown into self-reliant, successful, and dependable people.

"'Kay then, I'll finish settin' up now."
"I'll be right back."

He excused himself and walked out of the studio.

He's not sure how but, remembering Gin as a teenager somehow reminded him of an injured and alone Kiki.

Shinsuke:
Good morning.
Are you awake?

badbishincognito03:
Good morning! 😄
I am wide awake.

Shinsuke:
Did you sleep well?

badbishincognito03:
As well as I could with my inability to
sleep on my side 😢

So she's a side sleeper.

Shinsuke is unsure what to do with that piece of information, but he knows something new about her now.

Shinsuke:
I'm surprised.
I was sure you'd sleep in today.

badbishincognito03:
Nah, can't afford to mess up the
routine I established over the years.
Besides, it'll be even harder when
I get to go back to work.

Shinsuke:
I'm pleased.
Have you had breakfast yet?

badbishincognito03:
I managed to crawl to the kitchen and
heat up a box of preprepared breakfast
in the microwave 😅

Shinsuke:
Oh, meal prep is beneficial.
I must say I'm impressed, Kiki-san.

badbishincognito03:
😅🙃
The emojis made Shinsuke chuckle.

Shinsuke:
Spit it out.

He had to admit, emojis are indeed very helpful. They bridge the gap in communication left by the lack of facial expressions.

Sure, it's only helping because Kiki is allowing herself to show her true emotions and not hiding them (which someone with a fake account probably would) but it did make it so much easier to talk to her. Especially since he is completely unfamiliar with her gestures and mannerisms.

Atsumu was right about something.

"Kita-san, we're ready!"

Shinsuke had to go record before he could check her message.

It took them about 3 hours before lunch and 2 more after to get 5 recordings. Gin likes to work with 5 to make sure only the best of each part makes it to the final cut. Who knew a gym instructor could be so dedicated to his hobby?

Shinsuke appreciated his subtle perfectionist attitude. He has been giving Gin 60% of the profit from the YouTube videos. It only seemed fair, given he was doing most of the tedious work, and since he and his partner have been thinking about adopting soon, they could use some extra cash to prepare for the baby.

"And that's a wrap." Gin announced as their work for the day ended. "Tonight's upload is 99% done. I'll check for some minor details once I'm home, and ya'll get it in yer email by 5."
"Thank ya, Gin." Shinsuke smiled.
"Alright then, I'll be on my way now."
"Good day, Gin."
"Good day to ya too, and um.." Gin put on his shoes in the genkan and turned around. "Fanservice is good, but maybe draw the line somewhere to avoid any undesired situations."

Shinsuke narrowed his eyes as the front door closed in front of him.

"I-um," Naoto trembled as Shinsuke stared right into his soul. "Well, I manage yer dms so I caught a glimpse of yer texts with badbishincognito! I didn't mean ta!"
"And ya didn't mean ta tell Gin either?"
"It just slipped out!"
"Seems like all those years of baa-chan teachin' us manners and etiquettes also slipped out at some point."
"I'm sorry, I just-" Naoto pulled his fingers through his hair. "I'm worried cause it seemed like you're gettin' attached ta a fake profile. And that's already a red flag but-"
"Nao. It's rude ta talk about someone's personal messages with someone else. Even if it's concerning. Ya should've come to me directly."
Naoto looked down at his feet. "I'm sorry Nii-chan."

badbishincognito03:
so umm...
I'm banned from like every kitchen I have
ever come across 😅
like not entirely! 😶
like I am allowed to use the microwave
and the fridge, of course!
and the knives and other utensils!
and the chopping board, cz how else will I
use the knives?
haha 😅
you there? 😕
umm...
did you have to go to the farm today?
oh no am I bothering you at work?
I AM SO SORRY!
but like wouldn't you already have been at the
farm?
Are you ignoring me on purpose?!
Shinsuke-san
...
it's one of your red flags, isn't it?
I AM SO SORRY I AM INCAPABLE OF FEEDING
MYSELF!
but I can help you with prep! I promise!
I'd help my brother with prep all the time!
....
um...
I think I'm gonna go find a hole to crawl into and die in
It's been a real honor
getting to talk to you
thank you for all the days of mine you've brightened
with your voice
bye...

Shinsuke couldn't help but laugh at Kiki's adorable response.

He did regret not saying goodbye before abruptly leaving to record, but seeing her go from shy to concerned to regret to self-deprecation was so cute, that his regret didn't last very long.
But, he decided she needed to hear from him now.

Shinsuke:
I apologize for leaving so abruptly Kiki-san.
Today is recording day, so no farm.
But I should've told you before leaving.
I'm sorry.

badbishincognito03:
😐
Well that was rude of you
I got scared for no reason 😐

Shinsuke:
I really am sorry, Kiki-san.
Why are you banned from cooking though?

badbishincognito03:
😅
I'd normally always just help my brothers
while cooking
this one time one of them was unwell and the
other was at work
so I thought I should cook
I know the recipes anyways
we had to call the fire dept 😀
we thought it was a one-time thing
since you know, I was in middle school
but then it happened again🙂
...
and again 😃

Shinsuke:
I think I now understand why people refer to
🙂 as "the dead inside" emoji

badbishincognito03:
Glad to have helped! 😁

Shinsuke:
No one was seriously hurt, I hope?

badbishincognito03:
only my pride 😄
and my will to live 😀
*momentarily*

Shinsuke:
Oh God
Do you need therapy, Kiki-san?

badbishincognito03:
nah, I'm good! 😁
that was years ago!
I have never turned on a stove since 😀

Shinsuke:
Good decision

badbishincognito03:
Hey! 😠
I was just trying to be a good older sister okay??? 😤

Shinsuke:
I'm sorry 😅

badbishincognito03:
😳
You using emojis 🦋

Shinsuke:
😅
Have you taken your meds today?

badbishincognito03:
Yes, I have! 😁

Shinsuke:
And your aspirin cream?

badbishincognito03:
Yesss 💪😎

Shinsuke:
Good girl.
Have you had lunch yet?

badbishincognito03:
My lunch is on my lap, while I'm trying
to find a show to watch.

Shinsuke remembered how injured Kiki is all alone at home on weekdays and instantly feels bad for her.
He looks at the clock. It's 3 pm. He would normally go to the farm for an hour or two and come back home around his regular time.
He doesn't really need to guide the people today. Naoto is already there.

Shinsuke:
Have you watched Heartstopper?

badbishincognito03:
I haven't actually
out of spite 🙂

Shinsuke:
Out of spite?
Oh no, is Kiki a homophobe?

badbishincognito03:
well, I wanted to watch it
but ever since it came out
my elder brother
not the eldest one
has been telling me to watch it
because it mirrors his and my future
brother-in-law's story
and I said I will when I have time
given my usually busy schedule
BUT OH MY GOD
as much as I love him
HE IS SUCH AN ATTENTION WHORE
he has been nagging me relentlessly! 😤
when I stopped picking up his calls
he started using his fiancé's phone to call me!🙃
at one point I got super pissed and said
well, you know what?
now I'm never gonna watch it!🙂
he got so sad, I felt kinda sorry
but I was so pissed!😤
like my gay friends have been bawling
their eyes out!
and I really really wanna watch it
but I am a woman of my words
therefore I shall not🤡

Ah, good old sibling arguments.

Shinsuke did not have that anymore. Naoto's too scared of him and Mayumi hasn't lived with them for the last five years, since she got married. How he misses her sometimes.

Shinsuke:
I understand.
I asked because I haven't watched it either.

badbishincognito03:
did you wanna watch it with me?

Shinsuke:
Always better than watching alone, right?

badbishincognito03:
oh
😕

Shinsuke:
You can always not tell your brother.

badbishincognito03:
but that's equivalent to lying to him 😕

Shinsuke smiled. He wouldn't lie to his sister out of spite either.

Shinsuke:
When is their anniversary?

badbishincognito03:
my bro and his fiancé's?
In September.
Why? 🤨

Shinsuke:
Have you bought their presents yet?

badbishincognito03:
no Shinsuke-san
my busy schedule and sprained ankle have not
bought their presents yet 😒

Shinsuke:
Good.
So instead of buying two separate gifts,
you can just buy one for your future
brother-in-law and just let your brother
know that you've watched Heartstopper.

badbishincognito03:
...
Shinsuke-san
I have only two questions for you:
1. WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN ALL MY LIFE???
2. Will you please NEVER LEAVE??? 🧎♀️💍
LIKE???
WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK

Shinsuke:
😅

badbishincognito03:
Come on Shinsuke-san 😒
I'm not getting any younger 🙄
👰💐💒❓

Shinsuke:
I'll keep that in mind.

Shinsuke wasn't the best with emojis. He scrolled through the emoji keyboard trying to find the best options.

Shinsuke:
🤵💒❓

badbishincognito03:
Shinsuke-san emojis!
🦋🦋🦋
😵😵😵
I am
✨D E C E A S E D✨

Shinsuke:
Don't pass away before going back to work.
Everyone who ever underestimated you
will get to say whatever they want about
you without facing any repercussions.

badbishincognito03:
🙇♀️
you're so right!

Shinsuke:
So, Heartstopper?

badbishincognito03:
I can stream
gimme your discord handle.

Shinsuke:
Discord?

Kiki guided him to set up discord on his laptop and then they both cozied up and watched the first three episodes of the heartwarming show. Shinsuke was a bit disappointed that she didn't turn on her camera, even if her face is off focus. "My laptop is on my lap. You'll just get a good look at my double chins." He didn't want to make her feel uncomfortable.

It was a pleasant time. Although they did make some comments here and there, Kiki didn't talk too much during the show and Shinsuke could pay attention to what was actually happening.

"Ah, high school crushes!"Kiki remarked. "I remember when my friends would have a new crush and I'd tease them on day's end, just for funsies!"

"Wasn't it annoying when they teased ya back?"

"Nope never happened," Kiki answered without any hesitation. "If I ever found someone cute, I'd basically announce it to my friends. And before they'd know it, I'd already had the guy in my arms, until I did it all over again. So ya, cute high school relationships are completely alien to me personally."

"So, ya were a player in high school?"

"Umm..."Kiki sounded thoughtful for a moment. "I guess that's one way to put it? Doesn't the word player come from the idea of 'playing with people's feelings'? And ya, a lot of people did perceive me that way, but I like to argue that I never toyed with anyone's heart, no matter how long I was with someone."

"Ya let them down slowly?"

"Of course! Just because I didn't have feelings doesn't mean I shouldn't care about what feelings my actions are inciting in people. Plus, being a member of the Student Council at Itachiyama was already a lot of responsibility, and it only really took only a minute mess-up from a singular member of our party for us to not get re-elected next year. I can't do that."

"Ah, so it was the politics." Shinsuke teased, but he would be lying if he said he wasn't a bit disappointed. Hollow relationships never got anyone anywhere. Plus, it's impossible to not catch at least a little romantic feelings for someone you're even casual with.

Then again, high schoolers are basically children. He's pretty sure Kiki has become more mature since then.

Right?

"No! Don't make me sound like a heartless bitch!" Kiki caught him off guard yet again. "I know my heart is cold and black, but I'm not evil!"

"I apologize. I didn't mean to make it sound like that."

"No, you don't have to apologize. I'm kinda used to it honestly." If sounds could physically hurt, Kiki's sad chuckle that followed would've impaled his heart thrice.

"I guess I was always scared of being alone, you know? Growing up with six siblings, I always had an internal fear of them all moving on with their own lives while I'm the only one who stayed in the same place. And it isn't just my siblings. One of my best friends and I used to mess around in high school a lot. Even she is in a happy, stable relationship now.

And it's not like it came out of nowhere and completely surprised me. Those two have been pining for literal years! And I guess I have been able to see everyone's emotions unravel and their lives intertwining with each others': everyone's but mine.

I don't blame it on anyone, or even on fate. I have always been very dedicated to my career. Ever since I was a little kid, I had the same dream, and every day I'm getting closer to it. I am really happy, career-wise that is. But on days like this when I have to be home alone, I realize how alone I really am." She punctuated her sentences with her sad chuckles again.

"And maybe that's why I felt like I never moved on from where I was while everyone else around me did. My dreams and my ambitions never changed. I have been the same person I am now for longer than anyone else, and everyone molded into their new lives, which happen to be further from where I am.

So I always saw this coming, the impending loneliness. The deafening silence that everyone else left behind. It's not completely silent yet, but I can feel the last voices flutter away slowly." She sighed heavily. "But I'm still here, exactly where I wanted to be. Proud of my progress, just with a little more regret.

So can you really blame me for trying to make more memories with my people before they'd all eventually find their ways and establish their lives out of my reach? I can at least be that one girl they had quality time with. Maybe I'll make it to the stories they tell their kids, maybe they'll save me for their grandkids. But I'll be right here, a little brighter than what I would've been if I didn't meddle too much."

Shinsuke was speechless. He wasn't sure exactly what he expected her reply to be, but it wasn't at all this. The last thing he expected his unfiltered, smartmouth fan to be was lonely.

"Ya really have a way with words, Kiki-san." He was genuinely impressed. "If ya always spoke like this, I have no doubt ya'll continue to shine brighter in their memories, no matter how far they are from ya." He said sincerely.

"Nope, absolutely not." Kiki surprised him. "That was unnecessarily sappy, we did not have this conversation.
Why is Nick at Charlie's house, soaking in the rain? We will find out right now in episode 4!"

"No-Kiki-san, I have to go now." Shinsuke was not fast enough sadly, Netflix was faster.
"Boy, if you got time to talk, you got time to watch! And it's 25 minutes max! I'm sure you can afford to alter your schedule and not leave me alone for 25 minutes."
"I understand, but..."
"Do you not wanna see a 16-year-old possibly coming out in a confession, and a highly likely super cute and romantic scene?"

Shinsuke sighed. He didn't want to miss that at all. "Fine. But only one more. We'll watch the rest later."
"Not tonight though."
"I can manage 2 hours after dinner."
"That is so sweet of you, but I wouldn't miss tonight's Jackals-Falcons match for the world."

Shinsuke pulled down his notification bar to check for his reminders. It went off while they were watching the show.

"I'll be watching it too."
"Oh yeah! Two of your former teammates playing against each other!"
"Yes, they are." Shinsuke was surprised she remembered.
"Who are you rooting for?"
"Both of them."
"Nope, absolutely not, you can't do that!"
"We'll see, I guess."
"I'll call you 5 minutes before the match starts?"
"I'll be waitin' then."

That night, Shinsuke learned how good Kiki is at analyzing Volleyball matches. They even bet when the referee took some time to decide if Atsumu's serve hit in or out, and Kiki won. Shinsuke was a bit disappointed to have lost his chance to know her real name, but he was glad it seemed he found someone who he can watch matches with, even if it was online.

Naoto, as much as he loved him, was as bright as an Ostrich when it came to Volleyball, and granny would clap no matter who scored.

Watching with someone competitively was something he didn't know he needed.

Kiki was a hardcore supporter of the Jackals because of Sakusa Kiyoomi. It made sense since they went to the same school, in the same year. But apparently, it's also because Bokuto Kotarou was from Tokyo, and she's from Tokyo. And as much as she loved Aran, that was two for the Jackals and one for the Falcons.

That didn't stop her from cheering every time Aran scored a point though.

Seeing strangers cheer for his friends filled him with a new sense of pride.

★・・・・・・★・・・・・・★・・・・・・★

Kiki ended up on bed rest for about a month, and throughout the month they watched countless volleyball matches - both men's and women's teams - and a plethora of Netflix shows.

They finished watching Heartstopper the next day. Her voice sounded shaky when Nick came out to his mother, and when Shinsuke asked if she was okay, she turned on her camera only to show him that she had a tissue box in one hand, while the other seemed to be wiping tears. By the end, she was completely quiet before saying, "You know what, I forgot to scold my brother for being such a dramatic whore. I'm gonna go do that right now."

Shinsuke was pretty sure their conversation would actually be pretty endearing, but maybe that's a story she'll tell him later.

They also watched other shows like Sex Education and Lovesick.

Their conversations during the shows were somewhat philosophical and had a lot of discussion on morality and evolution in society, while their conversations during matches were more challenging and nostalgic. But their conversations were always playful with varying levels of flirting.

Shinsuke was enjoying his time with her more and more. Soon enough, he didn't mind that he had to move things in his schedule around more, just to accommodate a stranger on the internet who was injured and all alone.

"Stranger" was a relative term. Sure he doesn't know what she looked like, or her actual name, but he had a feeling that if he ever came across her in real life, he'd be able to identify her - not just because of her ringed-up fingers or ears, but just by the aura she exuded. Someone as confident yet playful must have an aura exclusive to them. Shinsuke wasn't sure what that aura was like, but he'd know it when he would feel it, and he couldn't wait for the opportunity.

But soon enough, it all would fade away. Not only did Kiki's ankle heal and her movements turn back to normal, but only after a week of working at her office, she was required somewhere else.

"Traveling? For work?" Shinsuke asked, surprised.

"Ya. Our office physician verified my fitness, and that I am safe to travel!" Kiki sounded excited, yet nervous. "This...project that my team and I have been working on is happening outside Tokyo. But I couldn't go because of the injury. Which is why my boss was so upset with me, 'cause it's pretty important."

"I see. When do you leave?"

"Well...." Shinsuke could hear her tapping her keyboard. "My flight's at 9 pm tonight. They'll send a car to pick me up at 5 pm. Oh, fuck! I gotta start packing! Talk about last minute!"

"You still have time, don't worry. Make sure ya got all the essentials first."
"Okay!"
"And let me know if you actually make it to your project location."
"What do you mean 'if'?"
"Let's see how far that ankle gets ya." He teased. "Have a safe flight."

Shinsuke already had a good idea that Kiki was an important person at her work, given the fancy dorms, the private car ride, and the first class seat that Kiki has been sending him pictures of as proof of her competence, but nothing could really beat the hotel room.

It did have 2 queen beds, meaning she had to share it with a coworker, but the beds, the interior, the furniture, the amenities, everything reeked of luxury.

Well, she definitely ain't a firefighter, or in the police

"Yer not gonna watch the Red Rabbits vs the Wolves match t'night?" Shinsuke was genuinely surprised. Sure Kiki is not at home now, but it's not like she's working past 5 pm when most of the women's games happen.

"Well, um...I normally experience the women's games with my coworkers. And you know I've been away from them for like a month, so I wanna get back to it." There was an awkward pause. "I'm sorry! We can still watch the men's games together, I promise!"
"No need to apologize. Ya should enjoy the matches with yer coworkers. Ya can always text me when ya wanna watch somethin' together. Don't worry about it."
"I actually have stuff to do now, so I got less time." She chuckled lightly. "Not gonna lie, I do miss watching a thing or two with you every night. Thank you for keeping me company."
"I miss it too. Ya just let me know when ya are free so we can arrange somethin'."
"Will do!"
"I looked at the roster and it looks like the Wolves finally have Masamune Kiyoka back on the starting lineup. She hasn't played a single match this season yet."
"Ya apparently she had an off-court injury. I wonder what kind." the sly tone at the end told Shinsuke what she was hinting at. He rolled his eyes.
"Excited to see yer former classmate back in action?"
"Yep, absolutely. Imma try to poke her a little after the match too. If she finally decides to reply to my texts that is!"

Shinsuke always did enjoy watching the speck of pink hair on the screen, jumping around smacking the ball, every time Masamune Kiyoka was on the court. It seemed like her time off did nothing to hinder her performance.

He always thought how her playstyle seemed similar to both Ushijima Wakatoshi and Sakusa Kiyoomi - Ushijima Wakatoshi because of the force of her attacks and Sakusa Kiyoomi because of the strategic nature of them. Not to mention she was ambidextrous and she used that to its full potential - changing from a right swing to a left in a fraction of a second to play mind games with the blockers. It was always a treat to watch her play.

No wonder she has been on the National team since she was 19.

As entertaining as the match was, he really did miss watching it with Kiki. Every time they watched RMC, MSBY, EJP, or any other team that has an Itachiyama alumni, she would tell him about them in high school and it was always so much fun. Getting to imagine how people are off courts were always interesting.

"But I feel like you can see how people really are on the inside when they're doing what they are most passionate about." Kiki once said. "Sure, you can learn about their personalities through stories like these but, they are who they wanna be when they are on the court, pouring their heart and soul into the matches they play. You can always tell so much about a person just by their playstyle."

Maybe I can learn a little about Masamune Kiyoka if I pay close attention to her playstyle. Something to make up for Kiki not being here.

And so he did. He watched closely as Masamune used as much time as she could afford to observe everyone on the court before moving in the most effective ways. He watched as she jumped up to spike at the second touch, but then quickly set the ball to the middle blocker as the blockers went down. He watched her faint, fake sides, run outside the court and save stray balls, and even crouch as low as possible to send perfect emergency sets to the other spikers when push came to shove.

Beautiful.

He also noticed the occasional teasing and tongue displays exchanged between her and Kanoka Amanai of the Red Rabbits. That reminded him of when Kiki told him about her and Kanoka's rivalry since middle school.

"Every time those two were on the same court, or even at the same tournament, they'd find new ways to challenge each other. Most service aces, spikes, blocks, whatever. It was almost comical, but also inspirational in a way because they both respected each other so much. I'm glad they both play on the same stage now, and they're on the same team when it's Japan against the world."

It kind of reminded him of Atsumu and Karasuno's setter Kageyama Tobio - intense rivalry, but so much respect on both sides for the other. He was also glad that those two are on the same team when it was Japan against the world.

The world through your eyes is beautiful, Kiki-san.

★・・・・・・★・・・・・・★・・・・・・★

Right as Shinsuke was about to tuck himself into bed, his phone began ringing on the nightstand.

Who could be calling at this time of the night?

He reached over and grabbed it to find Kiki's name flashing on the screen.

"Is everythin' okay?"
"Yes, why- oh my God, I am so sorry I didn't see the time!" She chirped. "I should've texted you before calling out of the blue! You weren't sleeping were you?"

Shinsuke smiled.

Guess I became her habit too.

"I was just about ta go ta bed, don't worry." He reassured her. "How was yer day?"
"It was as it usually is on a match day, umm-you know, all of us together, all fired up."
"I see ya and yer coworkers are hardcore sports fans."
"Yep!"
"Must be nice."
"It is! We are all really close, and having something in common to bond over really helps."
"It sure does."
"Did you enjoy the match?"
"Yes, I did. Looks like the injury did nothin' to stop Masamune Kiyoka. Always great watching her play."
"Really?"
"Yes. Her play style is very interestin'. I realized today how strategic she truly is. Really kept me on my toes."

Kiki chuckled awkwardly. "Classic Kiyoka, as we all used to say back in high school. She always kept everyone on their toes."
"Itachiyama had a very rich volleyball culture too, I'm assumin'."
"Yeah, definitely. But it wasn't just volleyball that put her on a pedestal, she was the president of the student council. Two times in a row."
"So she was the president of the party you were in?"
"Yep."
"Wasn't she the captain of the National Youth Team in her third year, or something?"
"Yes. When she was away for volleyball, the rest of the student council members had all the tasks reallocated amongst themselves, so things could keep moving smoothly with or without her on campus."
"Wow, that's a lot of responsibility on one person."
"Yeah, Kiyoka is the Queen of Overachievers. She was also in the programming team and went to programming tournaments or whatever."
"Even I didn't have that much on my plate."

That made Kiki laugh. He hadn't heard her laugh since that one MSBY match when Atsumu hit a home run with his serve.

His smile continued to grow.

"Maybe you two should have a Battle of the Overachievers one day!" Kiki said when she recovered.
"Ya should definitely arrange that."
"You know what, maybe I will! It'll be a fight to the death."
"No need to be gruesome now. This ain't the Squidgames Kiki-san."
"Aww, not even if the reward is my heart?"
"Now ya have my attention."

Their conversation seemed to flow as usual, despite the turbulent transient phase. Jokes, flirting and nostalgia filled the air with a wave of laughter and warmth.

They both missed this.

They both needed this.

The conversation flowed smoothly until Kiki let out a yawn.

"Well, sounds like it's time for bed."
"Aww.." Kiki sounded disappointed.
"Don't you have work tomorrow?"
"I do."
"Then you better sleep now."
"I know."

The disappointment in Kiki's voice reminded him of Naoto - young and spoiled. Except, Kiki was mature and responsible. Which means she was just missing him and didn't want their conversation to end.

His sleepy eyes couldn't stop his smile.

"How does it feel bein' back at work?"
"Amazing." Kiki's sleepy voice easily became one of Shinsuke's favorite sounds. "I missed it so much."
"I'm glad. Rest up so ya can do it all over again tomorrow."
"Okay."

He could hear the smile in her voice.

"G'night Kiki."

"Good night, Shinsuke."

★・・・・・・★・・・・・・★・・・・・・★

It wouldn't be until November that Kiki came back to Tokyo. Her schedule seemed to be less chaotic then, and Shinsuke found it easier to keep up with her.

"When we're away on special projects like that, it all just depends on the...demands of our clients."

Statements like that and her ever-changing schedule made him question her career even more.

Not in the police or a firefighter. What else requires a lot of physical labor yet can afford luxuries?

Construction work?

Stuntwoman?

A dancer?

Obviously, he didn't want to ask her upfront since she clearly doesn't want to talk about it, despite it being her dream job since childhood.

Something flashy then?

"Do you have work on New Years' Eve too by any chance?"
"Nope. I'll take my holiday vacation from mid-December to mid-January. That way I'll have enough time to buy presents for everyone."
"Will you be going home for the holidays?"
"Well, technically the dorms are my home. But ya, every holiday, I stay at my eldest brother's house. He lives in the big house we all grew up in, with his wife and daughter.
Guess how many of us live in dorms."

Shinsuke did the mental math, with the current situation of each sibling in mind.

"Three?"
"So close. Four."
"And who are the other three?"
"The twins and my younger sibling."
"What about your sister?"
"She shares an apartment with two roommates."
"She made it out before you." Shinsuke teased.
"Well, technically I'm saving up by living in our office dorms. I came across this absolutely amazing apartment a couple of years back.
It's an industrial-style lofted studio apartment with huge windows. Like two-story windows! Like, the natural light that flows into the whole place is sooooooo gorgeous. And the lofted bedroom area is open to the rest of the place, so you're essentially overlooking the living area while getting an incredible view out the window!"
"What's the view through the windows?" Shinsuke liked excited Kiki, she can talk about anything in depth and completely unfiltered.

"Well, I'm not as lucky as you to have a view of the mountains but, it is a highrise building, so I would have a breathtaking view of the city! And I grew up in the city, so it's perfect for me!"
"So, how long until ya can afford it?"
"Not much longer, I hope. I have the contact details of the owner. When I do have enough for the downpayment, I'll call him up and see if it's available. If it's still on rent, I'll just wait until they move out and then buy the place!"
"Yer more prepared than I imagined."

"Well, I guess it's because I've always lived with a lot of people? So I could never really alter the environment to cater to myself only, you know? Like I had to make sure whatever effect I had on the place was something everyone would be okay with. But the first time I walked into that apartment, even though it was completely empty, it felt like it was made for me! Like I can build it up like my own kingdom.
Or maybe that's because it was empty, and I saw a blank canvas waiting for me to paint it. But I did also look at other empty apartments and I didn't get the same feeling, so that has to be it, right? Like, the place is waiting for me to belong there?"

"There ya go with yer words again, Kiki."
"Oh I'm sorry," Kiki said immediately. "Was that too metaphorical?"
"It was perfect," Shinsuke added with a smile. Maybe it was time taking its toll on their relationship or just the fact that he can now picture her more clearly as a person despite not picturing her face but, there were moments when Shinsuke found her actions and words extremely endearing. "I can picture it so vividly."
"I'm glad."

The silence was comfortable. It felt warm and familiar. It felt like they both belonged there.

"Will ya be staying at yer brother's place the entire time?"
"Na, 2 weeks max. The way he feeds me when I'm home, I'll be out of shape before Christmas Eve!"
Shinsuke chuckled. "Sounds a whole lot like my grandmother."
"Really, what's she like?"
"Like any other grandmother, I guess. She raised the three of us since our parents passed away."
"Were you close with them?"
"Yes." What kind of a question is that?
"How old were you when they passed away?"
"I was still in elementary school. My sister was in high school. And Naoto could barely talk."
"I'm so sorry you lost your parents that young. Must've been hard growing up without them."
"Baa-chan was always there for us, so growing up wasn't the problem. Accepting their death was."

The air was suddenly heavier, with no trace of the initial comfort and warmth.

Shinsuke was about ten when both his parents passed away in a car crash. Driving in the winters of Hyogo was always risky, but they had no other choice that particular morning.
They left the three kids home with their grandmother, promising to be back soon. The sun went down and the moonlight spread across their farm, but there was still no sign of them.
They wouldn't hear of the parents, until two days later, when a local fisherman spotted their car in the river.

"She must be pretty amazing if she raised you all on her own."
"She is. She's been the best guiding light for all three of us."
"Lucky you." It had been a while since he heard her sad chuckle.
"What about yer grandparents?" He asked, unsure.
"Never met them." She answered in a heartbeat. "Actually not a single one of us met any of the four of them."
"All passed away before your older brother was even born?" The thought made him sad. He can't fathom his life without his grandmother, even if his parents were still alive.
"No actually, our parents eloped. Our mother was very young and her parents were against their relationship. They had no other way to be together.
But that meant severing all relationships with their parents too. So, even after we were born, apparently their parents still didn't care. They only finally picked up the phone after our father had passed away, just so they could tell our mother to not ask them for help of any kind because she had dishonored the family enough."

Shinsuke wasn't sure what he was expecting, but it certainly wasn't this. All he knows is that he regretted ever asking her. The pain in her voice was apparent. Or maybe, it was hate.

No wonder she wouldn't talk about her family.

"I'm so sorry to hear that, and that I asked."
"Na don't be. I could've refused to answer, but I felt you should know at least a little bit." No matter how many times he heard it, he couldn't handle her sad chuckle any better. "Not knowing my name is bad enough."
"You shouldn't have to talk about things you don't want to."
"Ya." The silence that followed was the most uncomfortable one they have ever shared. "Well, I got work in the morning, so I better get to sleep."
"Yer right."

"Good night Shinsuke."

"Good night Kiki.

★・・・・・・★・・・・・・★・・・・・・★

The last time Shinsuke talked to Kiki was 2 days ago when she sent him a photo of her and her niece playing in the snow (she put an emoji over her face).

He didn't think too much of it, because he knew she got together with all her siblings (minus her 2nd brother who was spending the holidays with his fiance and his family) after a long time, and she wanted to make as many memories with them as possible, but then on Christmas Eve, he woke up to the sound of his phone ringing.

"Kiki, is everything okay?"

It honestly sounded like de ja vu, but definitely did not feel like it.

"Ya, um, sorry for waking you up."
"No, tell me."
"I-um. I guess I needed to breathe a little."

He sat up at that. This was unlike her.
Her voice was shaky like she was crying. The background noise told him she was outside.

"Kiki, where are ya?"
"I'm outside. I didn't wanna call with all the background noise."
"Okay. I'm listening."
"It's just that, it's not," Kiki was stammering. She was confused and she was being more considerate of her words than she has ever been before.

Something must've happened.

He kept quiet, waiting for her to collect her thoughts.

"I guess things do change over time. And maybe it is normal to feel lost sometimes." She finally said.

It told him nothing, except he wasn't there yet. He wasn't where he needed to be for her to open up to him completely.

"They're both completely normal, Kiki." He assured her.
"Ya. You're right." She said and took a deep breath.
"Ya alright?"
"I'm okay. Thanks."
"Go inside, okay? It's too cold outside."
"Okay." She sniffled. "I'm sorry for worrying you. I'll be okay. I'll call you when I'm in Tokyo, okay?"

"Okay."

"Merry Christmas Shinsuke."

"Merry Christmas."

★・・・・・・★・・・・・・★・・・・・・★

"Ya better not have prayed for her." Naoto's voice dripped with jealousy, as he walked towards the temple's exit. "She's not worth it."
"Naoto! Don't speak like that."
"I don't see why I shouldn't."

Shinsuke knew it was too obvious. Ever since his last call with Kiki, he knew something happened. He also knew he couldn't really do anything to help her.

How could he say the right things when he didn't even know what had happened?
How could he comfort her when he only had so many ways of communicating with her?
But it never stopped him from worrying.

Is she okay?

Shinsuke had decided to respect her request to not contact her on his own before she came back to Tokyo.
She would be back in a few days.
Everything will be okay then.

"Ya need to let her go." The prejudice came back in Naoto's voice. "Yer not even sitting with us cause yer too busy thinking of her."
"I'm working Nao." Shinsuke declared from his chair in his studio. "I reply to comments every night after dinner. Nothing's out of the ordinary."
"It is!" Naoto snapped. "Ya think we don't see it, but we do! Ba-chan's been asking me about it for a week now, and I just tell her yer stressed with work cause some of yer videos are behind schedule. But that's just code fer 'we should leave ya alone', and we all know it."
"What do ya even mean? If ya need something, just tell me."
"I need ya to not be invested the slightest in a faceless stranger from the internet."
"I'm not invested."
"Yes, ya are!" Naoto scoffed. "I told ya before. There are trolls all over the internet. I told ya not ta get too close. I know I'm the little brother, but that doesn't mean I don't know shit!"
"Naoto, behave yerself!"
"And do what exactly? Continue to see ya put on yer brave face while yer screamin' on the inside? Wait fer a ta figure it out by yerself again? When it took ya months to recover last time?"
"Nao!"

Before the argument could go any further, it was interrupted by a baby's cry.

Mayumi was staying over with her husband and baby for the holidays. Their shouting must've woken up the baby.
They were both quiet for minutes until the baby stopped crying and Mayumi walked in.

"What in God's name is wrong with ya two? Do ya not know there's a child here, or are ya too busy being children yerself?"

The little brothers hung their heads like they always did, every time Mayumi scolded them for something they did since they were children.

"Well, Nao's already a lost cause, but what happened to ya Shin? What could possibly have happened for ya to raise yer voice like that?"

Shinsuke didn't know what to say, how to tell her how much he cared about a nameless, faceless stranger he met on the internet.

How would he tell her that he did his best to not get attached, to not catch feelings?

How would he make her believe that he reminded himself every day that she's most likely an internet troll and therefore has zero significance in his life, but the more he spoke to her, the more moments they shared, the more memories they created, she became his most vivid imagination? He can close his eyes and picture how she looks when she laughs. He can see the passion in her eyes, the twinkle at the corner every time she winks at him, punctuating something smart she said.

He can see her subtly flushed cheeks, every time she goes quiet after he retaliates; the disappointment every time he speaks of making a compromise, the joy every time their team won the match, the tears streaming every time they watched a heart-touching Netflix show, the grin every time she left a flirtatious comment under one of his videos.

He didn't know how to make it make sense, that even after days of not hearing her voice, he could still see her clearly every time he closed his eyes, only now when he opened them, she wasn't there.

He didn't know he was also stuck in an existential void until her voice left it.

And now, he felt emptier than ever.

"I just didn't want him to get hurt again." Naoto broke the silence, before abruptly leaving the room.
Shinsuke grabbed his phone from the table, before turning to leave himself.

"I'm sorry." He said, walking towards the door when Mayumi put a hand on his shoulder.
"Shin." She turned to face him. "Don't let anyone break your heart ever again."

He hadn't realized it before, but he could see it now, how much his breakup had affected his sister. Her eyes filled with concern and anger as she stared right at him.

He nodded before she dropped her hand and exited the room.

★・・・・・・★・・・・・・★・・・・・・★

Shinsuke decided to breathe.

He didn't want to remain a lifesized subject of concern for his grandmother, or his siblings. He stayed around them more, rarely went to his studio, and did his best to initiate group conversations and activities.

He could feel himself doing better, he could tell he was smiling more. His theories reflected on the faces of his loved ones.

The concern on their faces when they looked at him started to fade.

Holidays passed, vacations were over and his sister had to go back home. The house always seemed to feel emptier every time she left.

He continued spending more time on the farm and with Naoto and his grandmother. He gave Naoto full control over his social media and asked Gin to continue editing the prerecorded videos.

He needed a break.

January ended and February rolled in, and with it came the next Volleyball season.
It's ironic how this season felt so different from the last, despite being the same sport.

It's only the same if you're the one on the court. If you're merely an observer, there's no escaping things off-court.

He really did miss playing Volleyball.

Kiki was supposed to be back in Tokyo in the first week of January - a month ago. If she really was being real with him, or if she even cared the least, she would've at least texted.

Naoto didn't object to watching the matches with Shinsuke on their TV. They didn't whine every time their grandmother clapped for the Adlers, even when they scored against Aran.

The match was on the final set. The winner moves on, loser gets knocked out.

The atmosphere in their cozy living room was so intense, as if the three of them were kids again, sitting around the coffee table with the Jenga Tower as high as it has ever been.

Then the phone rang, jolting them all back to reality. Naoto looked at the screen, before ignoring the call.

"Who is it?" Shinsuke asked.
"No one."

It's my phone.

Shinsuke immediately jumped up, grabbed his phone, and rushed to his studio, before Naoto could stop him.
He turned on the screen.
It was Kiki.
He froze in place, staring at his phone ring.

"Ni-chan, don't," Naoto said, entering the studio. "She's hurt you enough."

Mayumi's words echoed in his ears.

"Don't let anyone break your heart ever again."

He looked at Naoto and placed his index finger on his lips, before receiving the call and turning on the speaker.

Silence.

A few seconds tick by.

"Hello? Shinsuke?"

And there it was. The singular voice that had the ability to fill up his void in an instant.

He couldn't use words to describe how he missed it, the tear drop running down his face did that for him.

"Are you there?
Um-I understand if you don't want to talk to me. I was the one who asked you to wait for me, and never showed up.
You have every right to be angry.
But please, let me know you're there."

Shinsuke glanced at Naoto, who was intently staring at the phone.

"I'm here, Kiki."
"Oh thank fuck." Kiki let out a breath that Shinsuke could tell she was holding. "I am so fucking sorry. I had no right to avoid you after asking you to wait.
I have no right to avoid you after you've trusted my every word, time and time again. I really fucked up."
"That ya did."

"I am so sorry. A lot had happened since, well, since I sent you that selfie with my niece. I thought I could talk to you. And so I called you, but when I heard your voice, I completely lost my ability to speak, and suddenly I felt like couldn't breathe, and there was so much I hadn't told you yet that you kind of needed to know, but you didn't cause I didn't tell you and so I thought I'd breathe a little before telling you everything, but somehow things kept getting worse and everything started piling up and my fucking God I swear I thought I'd never hear your voice again." Her voice squeaked at the end as she choked a sob.
"I couldn't get on my fake account because I had to use my real account for a while, and I did listen to all your covers that came out, on loop but I couldn't even leave a comment because it was my real account but, fuck! I just really, really wanted you to talk to me, even though I couldn't even say a single word to you."

She took another deep breath.

"I just, I just really, really needed, I-" she cleared her throat. "I just really wished I could run to you, and possibly hold you tight." He missed her sad chuckle. "But of course, we had to meet in the most unfortunate situations."

He turned the speaker off and pressed his phone to his ear. Naoto refused to leave the room, so it's gonna have to be like this.

"Are you okay now?" He asked, still unsure how specific he can really be with his questions.
"Ya, I am. Finally home."
"You haven't been at yer dorms the entire time?"
"No. I couldn't go there before the time I mentioned I'd be away, and I couldn't stay at my brother's either. So I've basically been roaming around until a week back."

"Why couldn't you stay at your brother's?"

He didn't miss the sound of her sad chuckle this time.

"Mother came back.

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Saimaness27

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Chapter 1: The Beginning

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