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For two years now, Finn and Poe Dameron had been searching for a roommate to share their detached house with.
A third inhabitant was needed both to alleviate living costs and to make for some company. A lovely little home of wood and stone, with ample garden space all around and nestled in the woods a five-minute walk from the next village, the house had had shining prospects when the two young men had first moved in after their marriage. Soon, however, their new home had grown too spacious, with its garage, its derelict attic, and its two bedrooms. Not even BB-8, a lively mongrel they had adopted a few months after moving in, had managed to make their home feel smaller.
So far, they’d had every type of person apply for the room – but without success. They’d had businessmen in expensive suits, eccentrics who were “looking to get away from all the city sprawl and discover themselves anew in the countryside”, and students who had ultimately shied away from the house’s relative remoteness.
Once, a man had even applied thinking they were looking for a third. They most decidedly were not.
Today, however, it seemed that they had hit gold.
“Hi,” a young woman in a rain jacket, cuffed cargo pants and black Doc Martens greeted Finn when he opened the door that morning, “I’m Rey Skywalker!”
“Finn Dameron. Nice to meet you, Rey.” He smiled and shook her hand, receiving the most brilliant smile in return. “Please, come in.”
Rey readily stepped into the house. It took her exactly no time to involve Finn in a gratifying conversation – where had he lived before this, oh, she’d been there once, lovely place, what did he work, what did his husband do, my, such complementary jobs, she herself was an electronic engineer and hobby photographer.
When they made it to the kitchen at last, Poe raised a subtle eyebrow at Finn over Rey’s shoulder as he shook her hand. Is she the one? that eyebrow asked with blatant hope.
Finn replied with a pout that said, Yeah. I’d bet my best tie on it. And out loud, he announced, “So! Time for a tour, I guess.”
And what a tour it was, indeed.
“We’ve been wanting to redecorate the bathroom for years,” Finn told Rey as an aside when they took a look at the room in question, “but somehow we haven’t gotten around to it yet.”
“Oh, I can do that.” Turning away from the sink, Rey allowed herself closer study of the shower. “I replaced the tiles in my last two apartments, and I bet I can do it again.”
“Oh.” Poe glanced quickly over at his husband, then nodded. “I mean, that would be great.”
They left the bathroom and continued. The spacious attic, Rey agreed, made for excellent storage space, and she was even more enamoured with the bedroom that would be hers. The interior décor – rustic, not too ornate and loud – she found completely to her taste. And as for the woods all around, well, she had always dreamt of living in nature.
“Yeah, only problem is that the kitchen sink is always leaking,” Finn mentioned off-handedly when they were back at their starting point and Poe was unlocking the door to their backyard. “We just can’t seem to get it fixed.”
“I can do it.” With an air of proud confidence, Rey put her hands on her hips and grinned. “I took a plumbing course a few months back, and the instructor said I was the most talented pupil they’d ever had.”
Finn only hoped that she didn’t hear the quiet snigger his husband couldn’t hold back upon hearing her words.
Finally in the garden, Poe showed her around the raised beds they’d installed for planting their own vegetables. At this time of the year, tomatoes, zucchini, and carrots were already flourishing, promising a rich harvest.
“We were thinking of our backs when we built these beds,” he told her, shooting a fond look over at Finn who was brushing fallen leaves off the lawn furniture. “We wanna grow old together in this house, you know.”
“Smart,” Rey said and sounded like she meant it. “I can only hope to find myself a girl one day who’ll want to garden with me and grow old with me.”
Finn had overheard that while coming over to them. Now, he grinned at Rey and patted her shoulder. “Yeah, I don’t think you’re going to have a problem with that.”
“Speaking of problems,” Poe began, and the grin was wiped off Finn’s face as he shot his husband a look that said Don’t. Don’t bring up another modification. But Poe went on either way, assured that he’d only have to sleep on the couch for one night tops. “We were thinking about building a dog kennel out here for BB-8–”
“Oh, I’ve always wanted to try out carpentering!”
“I should’ve guessed.” Grinning, Poe only just so managed to avoid the sharp elbow his husband aimed at his ribs.
An hour later, the papers had been signed, the advert for a roommate (or rather housemate) taken down on all websites for which Finn could remember the password, and a light lunch laid out on the table on the lawn. BB-8 was already staunchly ignoring his two fathers and instead choosing to nap on Rey’s feet. The afternoon, sunny and filled with birdsong, promised to be a beautiful one.
“Well, you guys,” Rey announced as she clinked her glass of homemade lemonade first against Finn’s, then against Poe’s, “I think we’re going to be the best of friends.”
Finn nodded and bumped his glass against Poe’s. He didn’t say anything because his husband chose that moment to steal a kiss.
When he was finished, Poe chimed in with approval. “Oh, for sure. And I’d say it’s a deal for both sides. You got yourself a nice, non-leaking roof over your head, and we”–leaning back in his chair, he flashed his husband a triumphant smile–“got ourselves a crafty, useful lesbian.”
The years went by, and Rey’s prediction did indeed turn into truth. Soon, it wasn’t just “Finn and Poe” anymore – it was “Finn and Poe and Rey”, and the three were more than comfortable living together in their humble abode among the trees. BB-8 had been joined by Rey’s chihuahua BD-1, whom he got along with like a house on fire.
Only one thing hadn’t changed much – they had a vacancy again.
A few months after moving in, Rey had talked Finn and Poe into dejunking their attic and moving what remained into the spacious garage. Then, she had made it her pet project to transform the loft into a habitable space and had succeeded with sparkling glory. So, quite unexpectedly, they were back on the market for yet another housemate.
Only this time, they didn’t have to wait quite so long for a fitting applicant. It was a brisk, breezy spring morning, and Poe had only just rolled out of bed when the doorbell rang.
“Poe,” Rey shouted from the kitchen downstairs, “could you get that? I’m kinda occupied here!”
“Sure!” Poe shouted back as he pulled on some warm socks and a decent-looking t-shirt. At his side, Finn stirred, but didn’t wake. Poe dropped a wet kiss on his husband’s forehead before he was off racing down the stairs.
As he passed the open kitchen door, he saw that Rey was once again lying under the sink and banging a wrench against the fixtures. The leaky faucet had so far been the only object that had resisted Rey’s homeworking talent, and it was starting to look like it would continue to do so as long as they lived in this house.
A cool wind swept in when Poe opened the door, and he blinked against the day’s harsh glare. When his eyes had gotten used to the sunlight, he saw that there was a young woman standing on their doorstep. Petite, with a kind smile that shone out from under her black bangs and dressed in a tidy overall, she looked like someone who’d have all three of them wrapped around her finger in no time.
And Rey in particular. With that in mind, Poe greeted her enthusiastically, presented himself, and waved her inside.
After a short canine ambush – the woman loved dogs, which already more than qualified her in Poe’s eyes – they trekked on to the kitchen, where Rey was still tinkering with the sink.
“Rey,” Poe began, “this is Rose Tico. She’s a mechanic. Rose, this is Rey Skywalker, our resident useful lesbian. She loves to do home improvements, so I’m guessing you guys’ll get along great–”
A hollow bong resounded through the whole house when Rey sat up too quickly and hit her head on one of the metal fixtures. Poe and Rose both hissed in sympathy, and in the hallway, BD-1 let out a startled yowl.
“Ow,” moaned Rey, rubbing her head. But when she looked up and right at Rose, she seemed to do a double take, and all traces of dismay vanished from her expression. “Oh, hey. I’m alright, don’t worry, I’ve got a hard head. That, uh, that happens all the time.”
“It doesn’t,” Poe muttered from the corner of a mouth, but Rose didn’t look like she’d heard him.
Instead, she went over to Rey and helped her stand. Rey towered half a head over the petite woman, but that didn’t seem to disturb Rose. She was still smiling – and a lot wider than she’d smiled at Poe.
“Your house is really nice. Did you do all the interior decorating?”
Poe felt his eyes bulging. He could only do so much to keep himself from going, “Excuse me, miss, but me and my husband also live here, and we were here first and not so bad at interior decorating either.”
And Rey – inexplicably, Rey was blushing. “Some of it,” she muttered, her cheeks dimpling. Then, she seemed to perk up and remember that staring into Rose’s eyes wasn’t all there was to do. “Um, would you like something to drink? A refreshment, maybe?”
“I’d love to,” Rose breathed, her own cheeks now burning with the colour of the flower she had probably been named after.
Poe leaned against the doorframe and groaned. Behind him, steps were coming down the stairs.
Rey opened the fridge for a bottle of lemonade, then got down four glasses from the cupboard and handed one to Rose. She got to work pouring the drink – and immediately spilled some on Rose’s besocked toes because she was too busy staring in the other woman’s face instead of where she was pouring. Rose shrieked and giggled as Rey erupted into a plethora of apologies.
Finn chose that moment to come up behind Poe and sling his arms around his husband’s waist. After pressing a good morning kiss to the corner of Poe’s mouth, he asked, “What’s going on? Who’s that?”
“Our new housemate,” Poe answered with a sigh. “And as for what’s going on – I think she just turned our useful lesbian into a useless lesbian.”
In the end, the attic never saw Rose Tico moving in. Instead, Rey’s room took in another occupant, and BD-1 suddenly had to share the bed with two instead of just one warm body. The attic, Poe, Rey, Finn and Rose had decided, was to be set aside for if they ever wanted to adopt.
“I still don’t get how lesbians can move so fast with their relationships,” Poe muttered one day to Finn while they were having their first backyard barbecue since Rose had moved in. Rey and Rose were far out of hearing range – they were busy checking out each other’s cargo shorts while standing by the grill and flipping the vegetarian sausages. “I mean, one day they’re barely holding hands, and the next they’re married and keeping us up late ‘cause they can’t keep it down in their own room. Like, how long did it even take us to kiss for the first time? Three months?”
“Two months, three weeks, and four days,” Finn answered, passing his husband the plates and glasses to set the table. “I kept count.”
As he poured the lemonade, Poe chuckled. “Creep.”
Finn never got the chance to answer. A shriek sounded from the direction of the barbecue grill, and then laughter. When he turned, it was to see Rose standing there with her hands clapped over her mouth while Rey desperately tried to dispel the smoke from their grillables by waving a piece of cardboard over them. At their feet, the dogs were yapping excitedly, joining into the women’s hysteria.
“That,” Finn remarked, “never happened before. When’d Rey get so bad at barbecuing? No, actually – when and why’d she get so distracted all the time?”
The sigh Poe heaved then could have moved a stone to tears. Picking up two full glasses, he handed one to Finn. “You know why.”
In perfect unison, they said, “Useless useful lesbians.”
Then, they grinned at each other, clinked their glasses, and watched their two housemates lock in a passionate embrace, the burnt grillables entirely forgotten.