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    “Tell me why we shouldn’t kill you now.” Katari kept her head down, eyes clenched shut, rubbing her wrists against the rusted shackles. “The Conclave is destroyed.” She flinched and curled forward, her left arm pulsing and shuddering, tilting her head up to watch the armored woman circle her slowly. “Everyone who attended is dead.” The towering woman paused in front of her and pointed accusingly. “Except for you.” 

    Katari tried to pull her aching arm closer, but the woman reached down and pulled it upwards, exposing the green scar to the single lamp in the cell. “Explain this!” Her lips trembled as the woman dropped it like she had been burned.

    “I - “ Katari’s throat closed up and she choked for a second. “I can’t! Please, let me go, I don’t know what that is!”

    “What do you mean you can’t ? You’re lying!” The woman moved towards her, hand outstretched as if to slap her. Katari braced herself.

    “Stop! We need her Cassandra.” Another woman had stepped out of the shadows, a hood shadowing her eyes. She pulled Cassandra back, away from Katari and safely out of arm’s reach. 

    “I can’t believe it,” Katari whispered, nearly whimpering as she tried to hide her face away from the two women. “All those people… dead?”

    “Do you remember what happened?” The hooded woman moved to stand in front of her, looking down with her hands behind her back. “How this began?”

    It came back in flashes. It was mostly green. “I remember… running. Things were chasing me, and then… a woman.” She could remember more clearly now. The shape of a Chantry sister, perhaps, with her mitre looming over her, stretching out a golden hand to pull her through the tear in the sky. 

    “A woman?”

    “She reached out to me! But then… oh.” Katari sighed, trying to keep her face steady, looking upwards again. Cassandra pushed in front of the hooded woman, facing her. 

    “Go to the forward camp Leliana. I will take her to the Rift.” Leliana nodded once, turned on her heel, and left, the cell door hanging open behind her. Cassandra knelt and pulled out a key. Katari held up her bound hands. 

    “What did happen?” 

    Cassandra released the metal shackles and tied a loose knot around Katari’s wrists. “It… would be easier to show you.” Katari stumbled behind Cassandra as they ascended several flights of stairs, Katari ducking her head to keep her horns from scraping against the ceiling. Chantry sisters huddled near the walls, whispering with their huge hats and small hands. Cassandra pushed open the huge wooden doors, revealing a blinding green light in the sky, tearing it apart. Tears pricked Katari’s eyes again. 

    “We call it the Breach. It’s a massive rift into the world of demons that grows larger with each passing hour.” Katari’s arm tingled unpleasantly, like bugs crawling in her veins. “It’s not the only such rift; just the largest. All were caused by the explosion at the conclave.”

    “An explosion can do that?”

    “This one did. Unless we act, the breach may grow until it swallows the world - “

    Katari let out a shout as the tingling became blinding pain, the Breach flashing and her palm reaching upwards as if to clutch it. She fell forward, knees stinging on the rocks and elbows bracing her fall. Cassandra reached to pull her up. 

    “The people of Haven have decided your guilt. They need it. There will be a trial. I will not throw you to the wolves to assuage their grief - but you must help us. Your life in a few hours will mean nothing, but your life now does.” Katari didn’t know how to respond. 

    “I understand. Do you expect…” Katari swallowed the lump in her throat, “execution?”

    “Killing the Divine while she negotiated peace? Especially a Qunari mage…” Cassandra shook her head, brows furrowed. “I doubt they would be merciful. You would have to be a child or a madman to gain even a moment’s sympathy.” Katari felt her heart start. “I am sorry. I wish I could do more. I’m sure you did not mean any of this.”

    “Wait, I - “

    “We should not waste time. Follow me, the guards will open the gates for us.”

    Silenced for the moment, Katari followed dumbly. Beyond the gates, Cassandra cut her bindings, and they raced towards the Breach. Katari’s hand pulsed in time with the expansions, and, in the most terrifying display of magic she had ever seen, the green light began to seep into her veins, creeping up to her elbow. 

    When the darkspawn began to attack, she picked up a stray staff and fought until her coat was bloody. Finding a staff had been a relief, and she could feel it stabilize the magic simmering in her blood and fighting with whatever infected her hand.

    “Up ahead - you can hear the fighting!”

    “Who’s fighting?”

    “You’ll see soon enough. We must help them.”

    Katari split a darkspawn in half with her staff, just as an arrow struck its eye. A small rift crackled just above her head.

    “Quickly! Before more come through!” A small hand grasped her massive one and brought it up to the rift, and it shimmered for a moment before cracking like lightning and snapping shut like a demon’s jaw. 

    Katari pulled her hand away, ears twitching. The bald elf that had grabbed her gazed at her affected arm for a moment. His lips twitched and he turned his head towards where the sealed rift used to be.

    “This is her, Seeker?” She had to look almost straight down to find the source of the third voice, and the arrow. A dwarf, with a crossbow nearly as big as he was tall, leaned against the wall and gave her a surprised once over. “You sure this is the woman who killed everyone in a thousand yard radius?”

    “I carried her into the cell myself. And you can clearly see she closed the rift just a few moments ago. Do not test my patience, Varric.” Varric shrugged.

    “If you say so. Just don’t be too hard on her, alright?”

    “Don’t be too - ugh.” 

    Katari turned back to the bald elf. “What did you do?”

    “I did nothing.” He motioned to her arm. “The credit is yours.” Katari turned her hand over a few times.

    “At least this is good for something.”

    “Whatever magic opened the Breach also placed that mark upon your hand. I theorized the mark might be able to close the rifts that have opened in the Breach’s wake - and it seemed I was correct.”

    “Meaning it could also close the breach itself.” Cassandra gave the mark a wary look.

    “Possibly. It seems you hold the key to our salvation.” The word salvation made Katari want to physically and verbally spill her guts. Not an hour ago she was being interrogated as a prisoner, and now she had to be a savior.

    “Good to know. Here I’d thought we’d be ass-deep in demons forever.” Varric laughed darkly to himself. “Varric Tethras. Rogue, storyteller, and occasionally, unwelcome tag-a-long.” He winked at Cassandra between Katari and the bald elf. 

    Odd. Katari had never heard of dwarves being in the Chantry.

    “Are you with the Chantry, or - “

    The bald elf laughed. “Was that a serious question?” Katari let her polite smile drop. The elf was insufferable! 

    “Technically I’m a prisoner, same as you.” 

    Cassandra interjected. “I brought you here to tell your story to the Divine. Clearly that is not necessary.”

    “Lucky for you, considering current events.”

    Katari turned her attention back to Varric. “It’s good to meet you, Varric.”

    The elf chuckled again. Katari had half a mind to snap her fingers and send him flying; as it was, she clenched her fists. Did he truly feel above everything else? 

    “You may reconsider that stance, in time.”

    “Hmph. What is your problem, little bald elf?” Katari snapped, spinning around. The bald elf looked up at her, ears falling back. 

    “My name is Solas, if there are to be introductions.” He narrowed his eyes. “I am pleased to see you still live.”

    “He means, I kept that mark from killing you while you slept, please excuse my attitude, I am very tired.” Varric’s remark lessened the tension in her shoulders somewhat.

    “My apologies, Solas. I imagine you are under great stress. As am I.” Solas nodded solemnly. 

    “I’m sure you’ll become great friends in the valley, Chuckles,” Varric added, pointing towards the path. 

    “Absolutely not!” Cassandra spat, stepping forward. “Your help is appreciated, Varric, but - “

    “Have you been in the valley lately, Seeker? Your soldiers aren’t in control anymore. You need me.” Varric grinned, but it didn’t quite reach his eyes.

    “Fine. Fine!” Cassandra threw her hands into the air. “We must go quickly, then. Follow me.”

    Cassandra led them down a slippery path, and Katari had to focus on not slipping with her poorly-fitted mercenary boots.

    “You seem to know a great deal about the Breach, Solas,” Katari said, panting slightly as Cassandra made them leap over a large pile of rubble straight up a mountain.

    “Like you, Solas is an apostate.”

    “I am not an apostate,” Katari said, using her staff as a walking stick to pull herself up another hard slope. “I never pledged to the Chantry.”

    “Technically, all mages are now apostates. My travels have allowed me to learn much of the Fade, far beyond the experience of any Circle mage. I came to offer what help I can give with the Breach. If it is not closed - “ He paused to squint into the distance. “If it is not closed, we are all doomed regardless of origin. Hold a moment.” Cassandra nearly tripped over herself to stop on time, just barely seeing the outline of several demons skating across the iced lake. “Demons, up ahead.”

    “Glad you brought me now, Seeker?” Varric pulled his crossbow from his back. Katari could see they were much larger than the ones they had fought at the small rift behind them.

    “Varric, wait!” Katari pushed his bow down. Varric, to her surprise, lowered his weapon and looked to her for an explanation. “I - we really should not waste energy on more demons. Unless there is a rift, I see no reason to not go around.”

    “How can we go around?” Cassandra waved at the rocky cliffs surrounding them. “There is no where to go.” 

    “I - hmm.” Katari thought for a moment. “I can cast a very mild illusion spell, if you would let me. It would only last maybe thirty seconds, but it would be enough to get across the lake.”

    Solas nodded in approval. “Violence should always be a last resort, even when it comes to demons.” He looked at his staff. “I may be able to strengthen the spell for a few minutes longer. We might be able to walk right to the forward camp.” Cassandra placed a hand on the hilt of her sword.

    “Or we could just fight our way through.”

    “I’m with the Qunari, Seeker. I don’t see any reason to risk our lives if we could just sneak by.”

    “Alright.” Cassandra let go of her sword. “Cast the spell. Perhaps we will be more likely to live and tell the tale.” 

    Katari inhaled deeply, held for a moment, and pushed the smallest bit of mana back out of her lungs, engulfing the party in a pale blue light. Solas raised his brow, clearly impressed. Katari grinned at his expression. “Solas, anything to add?”

    “You are quite an experienced mage yourself, Katari.” Solas held his hands out and pushed downwards, deepening the color of the blue light.

    “If Solas and I focus, we can hold this for a mile or two at a decent pace.”

    “Let’s get going then,” Varric decreed, marching past Cassandra, who stared in awe at the tendrils twisting around her wrists. 

    Katari Adaar could only make her rounds so many times before someone started to notice. She was very lucky it was Cole who caught her pacing back and forth on the northern rampart, rather than Cullen, who often spent his time patrolling the battlements, or Vivienne, whose idea of comfort was long tea parties and short words. He sat cross-legged in her path, hat as always hiding his face. Katari stopped and waited for him to speak.

    “A Qunari mage,” Cole sighed, picking at the loose stones on the ground. “Tall and broad with horns that could spear right through me - her. Did the Divine die with a ragged hole in her chest? The people will want her head. She looks so scared. She is a cat that fell in the river, a bird tangled in the brush, a child caught in a war.” Cole looked up at Katari. “When will you tell them?”

    Katari shook her head, watching Cole stand with a small pile of dust in his hand. “I can’t tell them. Ever. This place would fall apart.”

    “It would not. Cassandra and Cullen were ready to lead the battle before you fell from the sky. Solas has so much knowledge. Varric… Varric could help you.”

    “Help me with what?”

    “Learn to be you.”

    “How?”

    “I’m not sure. But he would help. I know it. He has already begun to suspect… He spent so much time in Kirkwall. There must have been a few like you.”

    “Even if there was, what left is there to be helped? It’s only a few years.”

    “Josephine only spent a few years as a bard. Cullen only spent a few years in Kirkwall. They still remember.”

    “Cole.” Katari took a deep breath, the cold dry air settling in her lungs. “Please. Do not tell anyone. Not even Varric. Or Solas.”

    “Solas has begun to suspect as well.” Katari let out a grunt of frustration. “There will be another coming here. They will know. I don’t think they’ll tell, though.”

    “Just keep it between us, alright? This kind of secret doesn’t hurt anyone.”

    “It hurts you. Your name was meant to bring death, given in anger and hatred. Given by a kind and gentle woman who saw her children have their lips sewn shut.” Katari shuddered, and nodded. Saarebas. 

    “I know. You’ve told me this before. What does it matter?”

    “There will be another. I can feel them coming closer. I can hear him coming now.”

    Before Katari could reply he rapidly spun and vanished, leaving Katari to grumble a few choice words to herself before leaving the ramparts to go to the stables. 

    Halfway down the steps, she spotted a runner sprinting directly towards her. She let out a frustrated sigh as he was followed by another man in full armor, not sprinting but still obviously in a hurry.

    “Ser! Inquisitor!” The runner bent over themselves, gasping for air. “This man… this man…” The runner wheezed and coughed. The soldier slapped his back.

    “I have a message I’m supposed to deliver, but this strapping young man - “ The runner laughed at the soldier’s comment, still breathing heavily. “ - decided he wanted to deliver it for me. I suppose I understand why now. You’re the only Qunari here.” Katari’s attention went from the runner’s gasping to the soldier, who stood nearly at attention, helmet under his arm. 

    “Who are you, soldier?”

    “Oh, apologies. Lieutenant Cremisius Aclassi. I’m with the Bull’s Chargers. We offer mercenary work for coin, but the Boss has never offered our services to anyone in particular before now. Suppose he believes in the cause.”

    “Who is your boss?”

    “Calls himself The Iron Bull. He’s a good guy, leads from the front, doesn’t just sit back and watch the fight. If you want to see us in action we’ve got word of a Venatori camp on the Storm Coast. Come fight with us, though I don’t think you’ll get a hit in before Bull takes them down.” The lieutenant gave a quick salute and jogged away, past the vendors to the gate house. 

    “You alright there, friend?” Katari asked the runner, who had pulled himself into a decent upright position.

    “Just fine, Your Worship. A little out of shape is all.”

    “Maybe you should see a healer. You might be coming down with something.”

    “Thank you, Your Worship, but I’m fine.” He let out a final cough and stumbled away, heading towards the kitchen, ears pink. Katari watched him until he had disappeared up the steps to the kitchens, and turned towards the stables. Blackwall was leaning over a large block of wood, and she could hear him humming a tuneless note while carving away at the redwood. 

    “Inquisitor,” Blackwall greeted, not looking up from his work.

    “Blackwall,” Katari responded, walking by him towards the first row of stalls. “How are the horses?”

    “Dennett would know. Sorry, Herald, but I’m a bit busy at the moment. Was there something you wanted to talk about?”

    “No, nothing. Thank you, Blackwall.” Katari couldn’t spot Dennett, though he could be in a stall or in another row.

    After Katari had tracked down the dracolisks Dennett had nearly had a heart attack and hired several stable hands to take care of the normal steeds while he tended the exotics. He refused to go near the bog unicorn, however. It was unfortunate. She loved that horse.

    Another runner stumbled into the stables, laughing at something in the yard. 

    “Hey, you there!” The runner looked towards Katari and turned pink. 

    “Yes, Inquisitor?”

    “Over here. Don’t be afraid, you’re not in trouble!” Katari smiled in what she hoped was a friendly manner. “I’m calling a meeting in the war room. I need my advisors there in an hour.”

    “Yes, ser!” The runner made a funny gesture and trotted towards Cullen’s tower. 

    Katari took her time getting to the war room. She stopped by Varric’s table in the grand hallway to ask about his progress on the new Swords and Shields chapter for Cassandra.

    “The Seeker’s going to love this, Inquisitor. Don’t you worry.” He chuckled and scratched out an entire sentence. More to himself, he added, “I wonder what shade of red she’ll - hm.” Varric looked up at Katari. “I’ll just keep that thought to myself, I think.” 

    “Oh, Varric, we’re all adults here!” Vivienne crowed from her balcony. “Please, tell us more about our dear Lady Cassandra and the terrible thoughts you have at night regarding her - “

    “Regarding my what?” Cassandra stood in the arch by the doors, arms crossed. 

    “Oh - um, Seeker!” Varric quickly tucked his papers under his desk. Katari glanced between Varric, Cassandra, and Vivienne, and inched backwards, eventually breaking into a near-sprint, straight for her quarters. She could hear Cassandra’s lecturing echo in the entryway as she slipped into the room and shut the door silently.

    “Saarebas.”

    “Cole - !” Katari tossed her covers to the side and sat up, staring at the boy sitting on her desk. He cupped his hand around the dying flame of the candle she used to write letters late into the night after the fortress had gone to sleep. “Sorry, Cole, I forgot to put that out.” She pulled her legs off the side of the bed and watched him continue to play with the flame. “Careful, Cole, that’s hot.”

    “I know.” He waved his hand over the fire one more time then set his hand back on the desk. The flame flickered. “Some of you think I can see the future.”

    “You’re very perceptive, I think, Cole, and it makes people anxious.” Katari shrugged. “I don’t mind, but you know that.” 

    “I do know. It is comforting. I know many things.”

    “Oh? Really, Cole?” She pulled her night robe tighter around her shoulders and stood. “What’re you doing here? It’s a bit late for a nightcap.” A loud boasting laugh echoed quietly from the courtyard, and she realized the doors to her balcony were open. “Too warm in here?” She flicked her hand towards the fireplace and the flame died down to just embers. 

    “Thank you, saarebas.”

    “Why do you call me that?’

    “You keep thinking of it. In your mind. The word repeats itself: saarebas, dangerous thing. You are Tal-Vashoth, but you remember the word like a threat.”

    “It is a threat. Don’t you know what we do to ones like me?”

    “You are not them anymore, but you use ‘we’ like you are.”

    “Sorry, sorry, force of habit.”

    “You are not saarebas. No one thinks you are saarebas here.”

    “I know! Force of habit, Cole! I lived there for the first thirteen years of my life, it takes time to get over that sort of thing.”

    “And you haven’t had that time.”

    “Cole, please.” Katari felt panic rise in her gut. “The Inquisition would collapse.”

    “Apologies. I shouldn’t have come. You felt very much… you felt full and empty. At the same time.”

    “No, it’s alright. I know you’re just doing what you do. It’s helpful. You’re a very good friend, Cole.”

    Cole lifted his head and smiled, slightly eerie as skin stretched over his sunken cheeks. “We are friends, aren’t we? You are a good friend to me, Katari. You watch me walk into darkness over and over and you always worry… Thank you.”

    “I - of course, Cole. Be safe.” Katari blinked and he was gone. She blinked again, heavier this time. The last bits of conversation and laughter had faded from the courtyard. She shivered in her robe and crossed the room to close the balcony door, waved a hand towards the tiny flame on her desk and knew it would fizzle out without looking. The mark tingled, lightning in her veins. She glared at her hand for a few moments, wishing it away. Eventually, she made her way back to her bed and pulled the covers close, eyes glued to the desk until sleep took her again.

    “He’s Qunari.”

    “Well, obviously, you can see his bloody horns from a mile away.” Dorian groaned and turned his gaze away from the sea. “And that’s the ocean right there, augh.” 

    “Why didn’t he tell me?”

    “Tell you what? Who?” 

    Katari’s knuckles turned white gripped around her staff. “The lieutenant didn’t tell me either. He just said he was called Iron Bull.”

    “Well I guess we know where the bull part of that name came from. Those are Venatori soldiers, you know, do you want to keep watching them or are we going to join the fray?”

    Katari watched a fighter with a warhammer as big as him swing it into two Venatori mages. Magic flashed between a tiny Dalish mage and a huge spellbinder further along the rocky shore. In the center of the battle, the Iron Bull, huge, scarred, and bloody, raised his massive axe and cleaved a stalker in two.

    “We have to, Dorian, just try to keep your guts in.”

    “Oh, marvelous. Off to go save a Qunari and his crew of rabble rousers, on an island by the sea. Do you think he’ll thank a Tevinter mage for saving his arse?”

    “Oh, come on Dorian,” Varric laughed, “We’re just showing off to this guy so he joins our team. The guy clearly has this under control. Besides, he’s already got a mage in his crew, he can’t be all bad.”

    “Yes, that,” Katari agreed, still feeling her own guts bubble with anxiety. 

    “I suppose you’re right.” Dorian spun his staff in his hand. “So. Charging the shores?”

    “Dorian, Varric - on me.” Katari took off at a sprint, staff raised and sparking with power. An arrow flew past her ear, singing into the chest of a footsoldier. 

    “Nice one!” Someone shouted from ahead. 

    The party was on the beach in time for Iron Bull to behead two more Venatori, leaving just two left. 

    “Ah, come on, leave some for us!” Varric shouted, taking aim at one. Dorian huffed and snapped his staff on the ground, pulling flames up underneath the second. The Venatori soldiers fell to the ground dead at the same time.

    “Chargers! Stand down.” The Iron Bull grinned and surveyed the battle scene. “Krem?” The soldier with the warhammer pulled off his helmet one-handed. “How’d we do?”

    “Five or six wounded Chief, no dead.” Iron Bull’s smile grew wider and Krem mirrored it back. Katari watched their interaction anxiously, both hands clutched around her staff tight once again.

    “That’s what I like to hear.” Iron Bull motioned to the bodies littering the beach, some cut in two, others barely more than pulp. “Let the throatcutters finish up, then break out the casks.” Krem nodded and swung himself around to face the rest of the group. 

    “You heard the Chief - clean ‘em up, Chargers!” The crew scattered, clearly practiced.

    “Inquisitor! Glad you could join us.” The Iron Bull sat down on a log and motioned to Katari. She looked back at Dorian and Varric, and saw them both watching the mercenary crew cleaning and looting.

    “Go join them for a bit, I’ll talk to Iron Bull.” Her companions left her side to join the Chargers. She hesitantly walked to the log and waited for Iron Bull to continue.

    “Hot damn, it really is true.” She saw his eye patch shift as he grinned again, and chuckled. “Oh, the Chantry must love you.” She gave him a nervous smile. “Don’t get me wrong, Inquisitor. It’s great to see our people doing well for ourselves.” He gestured to her fine leather attire. “But now I owe Krem ten royals.”

    “Ah, sorry,” Katari managed to say, waiting for that wide smile to drop. 

    “No worries at all, Inquisitor. Krem never mentioned your name. He must have been too star-struck to ask, poor man!” 

    Katari felt color rise to her cheeks and the tension in her guts fade just a little. 

    “Katari Adaar. Shenedan, Sten.” Katari bowed her head slightly.

    “Yeah, let’s try to keep that to a minimum.” Iron Bull lowered his voice, “Makes the boys twitchy.” Katari nodded and laughed quietly.

    “You know, if you think someone would just make up rumors about a Qunari Inquisitor, maybe you deserve to lose that money.” His face lit up and he roared with laughter. 

    “Orlesians aren’t too bright, you could have just had a big helmet with spikes. ‘Sides, Krem needed the money. He’s trying to impress a girl.”

    “Not me, I hope?” 

    “Nah, you’re not really his type. He likes his women a little older.” Katari felt her throat hitch, but she forced it to relax. Iron Bull hadn’t noticed either, and the Inquisition would not fall today. 

    “Worship?” Katari turned to face Krem. He had abandoned his warhammer somewhere and was holding a scroll. “Sorry to interrupt, Your Worship, Chief. Throatcutters are done.”

    “Already?” Iron Bull’s attention was completely on Krem now, his bad eye facing Katari. She realized her hands were shaking slightly on her staff, and she willed them to stop. “Have ‘em check again. I don’t want any of those Tevinter bastards getting away. No offense, Krem.”

    “None taken.” Krem smirked. “At least a bastard knows who his mother was. Puts him one up on your Qunari, right?” He flashed a smile at Katari and walked away, leaving her and Iron Bull alone again.

    “So, you’ve seen us fight. We’re expensive, but we’re worth it. I’m sure the Inquisition can afford us.”

    “I don’t really know what goes on with Inquisition money, that’s not my job and I’m terrible with numbers.”

    “Your ambassador - Josephine, was it? We’d go through her and get payments set up. The gold will take care of itself, don’t you worry. All that matters is we’re worth it.” 

    “I’ll take your word for it, Iron Bull.”

    “You can just call me Bull, Inquisitor. And, one more thing?”

    “Yes, Bull?” Bull gestured her closer, until she was nearly crouching. 

    “Might be useful. Might piss you off. Ever heard of the Ben-Hassrath?” 

    Katari’s heart dropped. She stumbled back and fell down, staff flying, catching herself with her palms on the gravel. Blood pricked at her hands. 

    “Woah - sorry, Inquisitor!” Iron Bull stood and offered her a hand. She skittered back, and felt her chest heave. “Inquisitor, careful - !” Katari’s hands reached back and the ground disappeared. She toppled back into a boat half buried in the sand. She swung her head around as a last resort to see where she was, and instead an oar, set across the seat, connected with the back of her head.

    “Ouch, shit!” She reached her hand up to clutch where she was hit, but before she could, the oar, thrown up by her initial hit, swung back down and hit the back of her head again. 

    “No - “ Someone cried out, she couldn’t tell who. Something warm trickled into her horns. Her shoulders crackled and twisted with electricity, and it pulsed down her arms into her hands. Before she could stop it, the sky above her exploded. The flash turned her vision white and she squeezed her eyes shut. 

    “Shit, sorry Inquisitor, I didn’t think -”

    “No, why would a giant Qunari brute think, you absolute -”

    “What the fuck did you even say -”

    Katari groaned and propped herself up, eyes still closed. Her head pulsed uncomfortably and she felt more warm liquid drip down her head. 

    “Maker’s breath, everyone step back -” She heard several pairs of feet shuffle in the gravel. “Now I’m no healer but I can probably stop that until we get to someone who’s better at this than I am.” A warm hand wrapped around her free arm. “Can you move away from this death trap?”

    Katari allowed herself to be pulled to her feet and guided to a seat. She could feel Dorian hover his hands around her head worriedly for a moment before he muttered some curses in what she assumed was Tevene and an icy spike of magic wrapped around her horns. 

    “I heard that, ‘vint,” Iron Bull grumbled to her left. Dorian sputtered and kept going.

    Katari had been here before. Placed carefully in a soft, warm bed, watched over by hands and voices that shook. When she blinked back to consciousness she could feel a familiar presence by her side.

    “Cole, hello!” She turned her head to look at the blonde boy fiddling with dried elfroot on the nightstand. “Welcoming me back to Skyhold?”

    “He carried you all the way here. His fear matched only by yours. If I hurt the Inquisitor, what would they all think?” Cole dropped the elfroot and turned his eyes to Katari. “Varric almost cried. He’s nearly got it. Just a scratch, and Varric nearly cries. He has so many important people, and you’re one of them, now.”

    Katari groaned and closed her eyes again. “What do you mean by nearly?”

    “When you fell, when you made the air explode around you, the fear in your eyes. Varric recognized it, or, he didn’t recognize it. He recognized a lack of recognition.”

    “Cole, what does that mean?” Katari grit her teeth and pulled back the covers on her bed. “He nearly got it? He didn’t though, right?” She sat up, head pounding at the sudden change in position. She prodded at the large bandage wrapped around her head and looped through one of her horns. It had taken the healers a lot longer than was probably necessary for them to keep it from coming loose.

    “The time comes close, I believe. Iron Bull knows.”

    “But - he didn’t say anything!”

    “Ben-Hassrath. Beaten and torn apart and broken and put back together again. Show nothing, reveal nothing, just wait and watch.” Cole looked back down at his hands, running crumbs of dried herbs in his fingers. “He was waiting for you to say anything, or say nothing. Nothing can mean everything. He knows, and he will be quiet. But he will come soon. Trust, Inquisitor. It’s all he has now.”

    Katari sighed. “As long as he’s quiet, it’s fine. I’ll be fine. Cole, you know what would happen if anyone - “

    “Do you lie to yourself to soothe or to hurt?”

    “Cole!”

    “It’s been too long for something so, so tiny to shake the foundation of the walls of Skyhold and her people. It would be such a small thing. Such little difference.”

    “Iron Bull is so tall. Taller than anyone I remember. I must look tiny compared to him.”

    “Yes!” Cole laughed. It was a rare thing. “You are tiny compared to him. But you are small compared to others, too. No one thought to ask why, you’re the Herald, you saved the world, and Andraste would only send the best.”

    “Not sent by Andraste,” Katari grumbled. She reached for the nightstand and pulled herself to her feet, wobbly but determined.

    “Not sent, yes. Sorry. In the eyes of the people, you were delivered.” 

Katari huffed a laugh and looked for a cup. “Like a baby?”

“Here.” Cole handed her a mug filled with lukewarm cider. It fizzed on her tongue. Cole, whose attention had been solely on Katari or his own hands, lifted his head towards the staircase that led to the door. “Katari. You have a choice.”

    “Do I really?”

    “Yes. There is always a choice.”

    “Tell me, then, Cole? Please?”

    “Here or out there.”

    “I - what?”

    “Here or out of this room. In the grand entryway, or the courtyard, or the Herald’s Rest. That’s a choice that becomes another choice.” Cole looked back to her. “What’s your choice?”

    Katari’s heart pounded. Her head throbbed. Her vision steadied, and she realized then it had been blurry before. “Here. My head hurts. But what’s here?” 

    There was a loud knock at the door. If her heart could beat any louder, Katari was sure it would. Her head throbbed with each thud in her chest.

    “All is well, Katari. Meravas.” Katari swallowed the lump in her throat and Cole was gone. She probably only had a few seconds to collect her thoughts. The knock sounded through the room again, echoing slightly.

    “You can come in!” She walked carefully to the couch by the fireplace and sat down, watching the few leftover embers glow and fade. The door creaked open and fell shut quietly, and heavy footsteps made their way up the stairs to where she sat.

    “Inquisitor.”

    “Iron Bull.” She motioned to the chair beside her. “The chairs are big enough for us. I had them made big. I know I’m a bit small but…”

    “I wouldn’t say that, Inquisitor.” Bull chuckled and sat down, nearly squashed in a chair made for a full sized Qunari. “So, tell me. How does someone like you get to be the most important person in Thedas without anyone noticing?”

    Katari snorted. “Orlesians aren’t too bright. Fereldans aren’t much brighter. How many Qunari do you think any of these people have seen in their life? One? Two?”

    “You know, it didn’t take much for me to convince everyone to let us stay. Either our work precedes us, or you’ve been turning up the charm.”

    “A little bit of both? That’s got to be believable, right?”

    The Iron Bull laughed, warm and understanding. Katari’s hands were shaking. “It is.”

    “So. Are you going to ask?”

    “Do you want me to?”

    “That’s what you’re here for, right? Ask the question, bring the Inquisition to its knees while it scrambles for a new commander? Let the Qunari blunder their way into our war and take Thedas just to - “

    “Imekari.” 

    Tears welled up in her eyes, and her throat began to close. She hadn’t been called that in so long. The warmth in the Bull’s voice was enough to still her hands.

    “Imekari, where is your family?”

    Katari squeezed her eyes shut and frantically rubbed at them, trying to keep them dry. She took a few deep breaths to clear her throat. Shakily, she looked at Bull, who had managed to arrange himself in a non-threatening position, hands folded, legs crossed, chest mostly covered in cloth. It was mildly reassuring. 

    “Qunari don’t have families. You know that.”

    “Oh.” Bull’s eye softened and he leaned forward. “You’re not Vashoth. You’re Tal-Vashoth. A real one.”

    “It’s not like the bas know the difference.”

    “They definitely don’t. I don’t usually listen.”

    “But you’re Ben-Hassrath. You’re supposed to catch ones like me.”

    “Bah.” Bull waved his hand dismissively. Katari flinched back and he quickly put his hand back. “Oh - sorry, imekari.” Again, the name was soothing. “That’s not my job now. I’m supposed to keep an eye on the Inquisition, make sure it doesn’t threaten the Qun or whatever. Otherwise I get free reign. I have my crew. We have fun. Krem’s my second-in-command, and he’s a damn ‘vint.” 

    Katari’s ears twitched. “Tevinter? As in the Imperium?” Bull’s prodding comments on the beach made more sense. 

    “Yeah, I know what you’re thinking. But Krem’s good people. He’s not like what we were taught. He was just caught up in the crossfire.”

    “That’s… are you sure you’re Ben-Hassrath? That sounds like something the Qunari wouldn’t allow under any circumstances.”

    “The way the Qun is taught to you is different from the way it is for the Ben-Hassrath. They let us bend the rules.” The Bull gestured to himself and flashed his teeth, in a strained smile. “I’m the best man they’ve got this side of the Waking Sea.”

    “I guess that makes sense. But…” Katari sighed and let her legs and stomach relax. “You carried me all the way back.”

    “I was the only one big enough!” Bull chuckled.

    “Gunna tell me I’m growing big and strong?”

    “Nah. All the little ones hated it when I told them that. Makes them feel smaller than they needed to.” 

    “Well. I’m not sure if this is a good idea but I trust you, Bull. You haven’t dragged me off to meet the Viddasala, or called me a filthy saarebas.”

    “Don’t plan on it. Never really liked the folk that were into that shit anyways.” Bull shifted in his seat, leaning back and letting his hands rest on the arms instead of in his lap. “So tell me, imekari. How did you end up here? And why doesn’t anyone know?”

    Katari felt tears well up again. She wiped away some of them and looked down at her lap. Her nose dripped and she wiped that too.

    “Sorry. It’s - sorry. I can start at the beginning?”

    “How far back is the beginning?”

    Katari shrugged. “When Tama found out about my magic.”

    “A tamassran found you? Doing magic? But you don’t have…” Bull stopped, thinking. “No, keep going.”

    “I heard about saarebas sometimes, when we were at meals or right before sleeping. Dangerous things. The tamassrans always told us to hush, that we didn’t need to worry about that sort of thing, and that everyone would grow up to find a place in the Qun.”

    “They always say that.”

    “But my Tama, she was different, I think. I mean, she said the same stuff as all the other ones, but then she found me alone and I had let the sparks go too long. I couldn’t get them out in time. She saw me and she fell.” Katari sniffled, and realized she was crying freely, voice shaking and chest shuddering. “I knew she wouldn’t tell anyone. If it was any other tamassran who found me…” Katari winced at the thought. She still couldn’t bring herself to look at Bull, but she could feel him shifting every once in a while in his seat. She assumed that meant he was listening, and not planning to drag her away to the nearest Qunari base.

    “We escaped.”

    Iron Bull scoffed. “I figured as much. The saarebas usually don’t make it out once they’ve been found. Plus,” his voice became much lower, “usually you’ve got the scars on your mouth to prove it.”

    “Yeah. The scars. I’ve never seen scars, Bull. Just fresh wounds.” Katari’s voice was strained and wet. 

    “Maraas shokra, imekari. You don’t have to keep going.” She looked up at Bull. His eye was wide with concern and something else she couldn’t quite decipher. 

    “Tama and I made it out. We escaped. We made it all the way to Rialto Bay, into Antiva. We had found a steward who would let us stay for a few nights while we planned our journey further south.” Iron Bull groaned and looked away.

    “Lots of viddathari in Antiva. Your tamassran probably didn’t know. They don’t usually tell them about the military movements and such, that’s for the Arishok and his lot.” 

    “Yeah. Basra viddathari. Gave us away for some money and a promotion to Par Vollen.”

    Iron Bull let out a grunt that was closer to a growl. “Imekari for gold and titles. Typical.”

    “Tama, she woke me up in the middle of the night and she had this sack full of clothes and food and that was it.” Katari could remember the weight in her hands, on her shoulder as she ran from the village, trying to ignore the sounds of fighting.

    A knot took shape in her stomach and forced its way up her throat. “She told me to run, all the way to the Free Marches if I could. And Tama - “ Katari choked. “Tama never - “ She gasped and wiped at her face frustratedly. 

    “Imekari, imekari. Kost, Katari.” Iron Bull gently pulled her hands from her face and she sobbed openly, chest heaving, eyes burning, throat sore and strained. She could barely breathe, her nose stuffed up and throat closing. “Asit tal-eb. Gentle on your eyes, imekari.”

    “I’m sorry, I’m sorry!” She pulled her hands back and he let her go with no resistance. She wiped at her face again. “I - Tama I’m sorry!”

    “I’m not your Tama, Katari,” Bull said gently. Katari nodded, gave herself a few moments to stop the hiccups from jumping out of her chest. She breathed deep to quell her sobs. 

    “I know, you’re the Ben-Hassrath, the ones who took Tama.” 

    Bull’s face darkened. “I wasn’t the Ben-Hassrath who took your Tama, Inquisitor.”

    “No, but one of you did. Lots of you.” Katari rubbed her eyes futilely, and gave up. Her hands fell into her lap. Tears dripped down her cheeks, and she could taste the salt as they collected in the corners of her lips. “Did you ever hear about her?”

    “A tamassran escaping and being brought back?” The Iron Bull shook his head. “If there was a tamassran who escaped it would’ve been contained. Only the people who needed to know would have heard.” He tilted his head. “When was your Tama captured?”

    “I don’t remember exactly how long it’s been.” She sniffled, chest aching. “Inquisition’s been around eight months. I came to Fereldan ten months ago. Not even a year.” 

    “Vashedan. I knew you were young, but how old…?”

    “It’s hard to know exactly, we don’t exactly get birthdays.” Katari laughed humorlessly. “But I think I’ll be fifteen soon. Or maybe I am now.” Bull clenched his teeth and breathed in slowly.

    “Imekari. A child. They let a child - “

    “You can’t tell anyone, Bull.”

    “What? Imekari, you shouldn’t be leading a mercenary crew, much less the Inquisition - “

    “And that’s why you have to keep it quiet! No one can know, Bull, please! The Inquisition will fall apart, everything will - “ Her chest was closing up again, and she clutched the fabric of the couch to keep from falling through the earth. He didn’t understand, he couldn’t understand! 

    “This is exactly why you shouldn’t be in charge, the weight of the world should not - “

    “Bull, no, I have to - “

    “No, you don’t.” The Iron Bull lifted himself out of his chair then hesitated. “I’m going to put my arms around you now, is that alright?”

    Katari blinked at him, forgetting for a moment that the ground was disappearing beneath her. She processed his question, and he waited patiently. “Yes, I think - that would help.” She gasped again, fingers digging into the fabric. She could hear it start to strain and rip.

    Warm, sturdy arms pulled her into a warm, solid chest. 

    “I think, tonight, you rest.” Katari jerked her head up and down a few times in what she hoped was interpreted as agreement. “But, tomorrow, Inquisitor…”

    “You’re gunna tell them,” She finished, fresh tears welling up and spilling into his shirt. 

    “No.” Katari pressed harder into his embrace. His grip tight around her shoulders pressed painfully on memories of Tama holding her tight through fitful nights and the dangerous journey to Antiva. She was sure she had soaked through most of the shoulder of his shirt but couldn’t bring herself to pull her head up. 

    “I’m going to tell them.”

    “Yeah. You’re doing a good job imekari. But this isn’t the weight you’re supposed to carry.”

    Katari huffed a laugh. “Tell that to Cassandra.” Bull grumbled to himself. 

    “Cassandra’s a good woman.”

    “Yeah but -” Katari disentangled herself from Bull’s arms and looked up at him with slightly watery eyes. “- if we’re going to talk about weight on the shoulders -”

    “Oh, we do not have time for that, imekari.” Bull huffed a laugh and started to pull away. 

    “No - wait -” Katari tugged him back into a hug and Bull went silent.