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Contrary to popular belief, EJ Caswell was not as self-absorbed as everybody thinks.
Ashlyn Caswell knows this for fact. EJ was 100% her brother, regardless of being her cousin by blood. Even though he was the guy that posted on Instagram at least twice a week, he was also the guy that got the mean girls to stop bullying her in the fourth grade. He was the one who encouraged her to play the piano anywhere other than her bedroom. When Ashlyn was twelve and didn’t know how to do the science fair project that was due the next day, EJ was the one who stayed up all night helping her until it was perfect.
Perfect. That’s the problem with her cousin.
He put so much pressure on himself. She heard people at school complain about his success and drive. They would say things like “why does he have to get captain of every sports team, on student government, the best grades in all of his classes, AND the leading role in every show”. It just seemed like he was naturally gifted at everything, but Ashlyn was the only person that knew how far this was from the truth.
They didn’t see him staying awake all night long memorizing every fact from his science textbook. The way his dad would complain that he didn’t work hard enough when he got an B - on a math test. They didn’t know that EJ felt like he had to work ten times as hard to be good enough for people.
She and EJ didn’t always live in Salt Lake together. She remembered when her parents called her into the living room, where all the serious conversations took place, when she was seven.
“Honey, do you remember your Uncle Cash and his son EJ?,” her mom kindly asked, sitting next to her on the couch.
“Yeah, we see them every Christmas and Thanksgiving,” Ashlyn replied.
Those were the only two occasions where she would see her uncle and her cousin. Since she only hung out with EJ once or twice a year for a few hours, Ashlyn knew very little about him. Other than the fact that he loved to make mud pies in the backyard and drink hot chocolate with her while watching a Disney movie. Unlike her other stupid boy cousins. He was the clear favorite, and that was saying something, given that her dad had nine siblings.
“Well,” her mom continued, “The good news is that EJ is going to move in with us in a few weeks!”
Ashlyn gasped.
“Like, to live with us? In this house?”
“Yes, sweetheart,” her dad said.
“Sweetie, he’s moving here because your Uncle got a job doing international business. He’s going to be traveling constantly and won’t have the time to take care of EJ.”
Ashlyn’s heart shattered.
“But we just had the funeral a few months ago. He can’t leave so soon.”
Ashlyn could still hear her cousin’s weeps in her mind. She couldn’t imagine losing her mother like he did.
Ashlyn’s dad took her small hand in his.
“Grief is a complicated process Ash. I can’t say I agree with what my brother is doing but his mind’s made up. He thinks this is what’s best for him and we can’t turn our family away.”
“But why?”
Ashlyn’s dad ran his hands over his temples, a clear headache coming on.
“He can’t turn down the job. It’s an unimaginable raise for him. He also doesn’t think constantly moving is going to be good for his son. The decision is final, moonbeam.”
“He’s really going to need a friend, Ash. Think about how hard it must be for him,” her mom added.
“See the opportunities and not the obstacles. You’re going to love having a sibling, I promise. When someone needs help you can never turn them away.”
Ashlyn thought of her dark haired cousin who was basically a lovable stranger. Her heart went out to him. She didn’t know what she would do if her dad left her for a job. And she had to move to a brand new place.
“I can be his friend. I’ll make sure he loves it here,” she said, hugging both of her parents.
A few weeks later, EJ and his Dad arrived at Ashlyn’s house. After a couple of nights of being there Cash left and EJ stayed. Her parents warned her EJ would probably be emotional and angry for a little bit. Instead he was just sad.
A lot had changed since the last time she hung out with her cousin. He had dark circles under his eyes, tanner skin, and his hair had been cut much shorter. He was constantly shivering and wouldn’t look anyone in the eyes. Every time Ashlyn’s parents forced him to join them for dinner, he looked like he was trying to hold back tears.
Ashlyn remembered what her mom said to her the night she found out her cousin was moving to Salt Lake. He really did need a friend. Someone in his corner. It was up to her to break the ice.
She decided to poke him on the shoulder.
“Hi,” she said.
He took a shaky breath.
“Hi,” he replied, still refusing to look anywhere other than his lap.
“Remember when we watched High School Musical together last Christmas?”
“Yeah.”
“I know we’re only in elementary school, but once we get to high school we’ll be in the same building where they filmed the movie.”
That got EJ to look at her.
And smile.
“Really? That’s so cool!”
Ashlyn nodded. It was something she had looked forward to since kindergarten. Suddenly they launched into conversation about who their favorite characters were and what were the best songs.
He liked Getcha Head in the Game the best and she liked Breaking Free. They both mutually decided that they were going to have to do whatever it took to get Ashlyn the special pink locker freshmen year.
By the end of the day Ashlyn knew that she and EJ were going to be best friends. She was so happy that he was going to live with her and her family.
By the time she and EJ were in middle school they would walk home together every single day to Ashlyn’s house, chatting the entire way.
“She kept going on and on about chemical reactions, and then it exploded in her face!,” EJ happily recounted from his biology class with Ms. Carter, who basically everyone in their school agreed was the meanest teacher ever.
Ashlyn laughed, envisioning all of the chaos that must have ensued in the class.
EJ seemed to be having a great year. He had a lot of friends on the soccer team and was doing exceptional in his classes. He was the kid that had about a million guys trying to sit next to him at lunch.
Ashlyn wasn’t having as much fun. There were two mean girls in her sixth grade class who wouldn’t leave her alone. They made fun of everything that she did. The way she dressed, her curly hair, her weight, even when she got the answers right in class. It was so sad and frustrating- what was she doing wrong? Why couldn’t she be cool like EJ?
It had been going on for two months now, and she didn’t enjoy going to school the way she used to.
“Where were you at lunch today?,” her cousin asked.
At the library. Where she ate every day.
Should she tell EJ about what was going on? She had been tight lipped about it because it was embarrassing. Besides, there was nothing that people could do except feel bad for her.
“Um, I like going to the library. It’s more quiet.”
EJ stopped walking.
“What?”
“You just haven’t noticed because you’ve been so off in your own world with your friends.”
Okay, so Ashlyn might have been a little bit jealous. That didn’t mean she had to be snappy.
EJ looked down, his eyes growing dark.
“Why are you doing that?”
Ashlyn bit her bottom lip. Lying to her cousin was pointless when she knew he would eventually find out the truth.
“Some girls in my class are just being rude. I don’t wanna have to deal with them.”
Even she could hear the way her voice wavered when she spoke.
“Don’t worry, Ash. I’ll take care of it. I promise.”
Ashlyn didn’t think much of it at the time. EJ invited her to sit with him and his friends at lunch, which was a lot more fun than sitting alone with her books. A couple of days later the girls who were mean to her started acting a lot nicer. They even apologized for what they did.
The next time Ashlyn and EJ walked home from school, she asked him what he did to make them stop.
“I’m your big brother, Ash. As long as I’m around those girls aren’t going to mess with you anymore,” he said, winking.
“Plus,” he continued, “I’ve heard that girls like that don’t like rumors going around school that the soccer team thinks that they’re bad kissers.”
Even though EJ was thriving in school, he still struggled. Ashlyn had seen it firsthand when he started becoming more withdrawn and quiet like he was when he first moved to Utah, around December.
“Well we have to do something! He can’t go on like this,” Ashlyn heard her mom say one day to her dad with the door creaked open.
Ashlyn had never been one to turn down gossip. Even if she knew eavesdropping was wrong.
“We could sign him up for another sport this season. It’ll take his mind off things,” Ashlyn’s dad offered.
“We’ve done that this whole year and it hasn’t worked.”
“If we just tried talking to him-”
“He always shuts us out.”
“I don’t know. I just don’t know.”
Everything changed a week later. EJ came home from school and was actually happy, playing with Ashlyn and actually talking to his family at the dinner table. Ashlyn’s parents told her not to make a big deal out of his sudden change in mood. He would tell them when he was ready.
“Ash, anything new going on at school?,” her dad asked, trying his best to sound casual.
“We’re learning about robotics stuff in class. It’s super fun.”
“That’s great, moonbeam. And what about you, Eej?”
“Um, it’s been good I guess,” he said, actually smiling for once.
“Care to elaborate, dear cousin?”
“It’s just been fun.”
“Is it your classes? Or-”
“Ms. Hooper gave me a part in the show! Me? Can you believe it?! And I have this really cool fight scene with Derek G. that is going to be insane! The props aren’t fully made yet and the costumes are basically just our normal clothes but …,” EJ exploded.
Ashlyn’s family was stunned in silence. Her cousin had never had this much energy… ever. And she loved it. From that moment forward she hoped that his passion for theater never went away. She had no idea that something could make someone that excited almost overnight.
That night Ashlyn heard her mom call EJ’s teacher in tears.
“Whatever you’re doing, please keep doing it. I’ve never seen my nephew this happy.”
Ashlyn couldn’t believe that EJ was really moving out. He had lived with her and her family for so many years, and now his dad suddenly wanted him back.
“How could he do this to me? I’m used to things here. I like things here. He could barely pick up the phone and talk to me for the past four years. And now he wants me to live with him again?,” EJ huffed as he packed up his room, which Ashlyn supposed was going to just be a guest room now.
“Have you told him all this?,” Ashlyn asked while packing up his bookshelf.
“Yes, and he won’t budge. He said he’s done with doing business in Japan, Australia, or wherever the hell he is these days and is ready to come home.”
“He probably regrets letting you go, and now he’s trying to make up for it.”
Cash had bought a gorgeous house only 20 minutes from Ashlyn’s place. Well, house was a stretch. It was more like a mansion.
“He’s taking me away from you and your parents. How is that going to make up for anything?”
EJ didn’t cry anymore. But he did get angry, which Ashlyn hated.
“You’ll still have me and my parents. We’ll still hang out everyday.”
“Yeah, I guess,” he replied, not making eye contact. “He keeps going on about the great memories we had together as a kid. But he hasn't seen me in person since forever.”
There was a beep outside the door.
“We’re coming!,” Ashlyn yelled.
“You’re only 20 minutes away. Just come here after school everyday.”
EJ nodded, which was the most positive reaction he had to anything she’s said all day.
“Miss ya already,” he said, carrying the first box outside his old room and down the stairs.
“So what are you gonna sing for the audition?,” EJ asked her when they had gotten back from school. It was Ashlyn’s first time auditioning for high school and not middle school theater and she was uncharacteristically nervous.
“Not really sure yet. Probably just something from last year’s musical.”
“You should sing ‘On My Own’ or ‘So Much Better’.”
And have everyone laugh in her face about someone like Ashlyn trying to portray Elle Woods? Yeah, she didn’t think so.
“Yeah, big pass on that. I’m just gonna go for Ensemble this year.”
EJ rolled his eyes.
“Are you serious right now?”
“That’s not fair. You’re totally biased because we’re related.”
“You have the best voice in school, okay? Period.”
“What about Nini?,” Ashlyn teased, desperate to change conversation topics by bringing up EJ’s biggest crush.
Blood instantly rushed to EJ’s pale complexion.
“Yes, Ash, even better than Nini- but you didn’t hear that from me.”
Ashlyn sighed.
“Even if that were true, which it’s not, I belong in the chorus. I actually even prefer it.”
EJ gave her a long look.
“Just promise me that one day you’ll actually believe in yourself as much as I do.”
Ashlyn playfully bumped into his shoulder.
“I promise, you dork.”
Living with Gina was an absolute blast. Ashlyn had no idea that they would have so much in common, and they just got each other on every level. She was funny, smart, the most amazing dancer she had ever seen, and loyal.
Every night after rehearsal was filled with her, Gina, and EJ going on adventures and laughing until 2 or 3 AM. And then they would wake up at 7 AM to get Dunkin’ Donuts coffee and say they’re going to stop hanging out so late, and then repeat it the next day.
One night Ashlyn overheard their conversation from the alcove where she usually does her homework.
“Why did you put this off until the last minute you idiot?,” Gina said exasperatedly, sitting next to EJ on the living room couch, leaning into his side.
“Because I can write a short story for English class in one night. I’m a highly creative person, Gina.”
“A 30 page one?”
“I can find the strength to power through the senioritis.”
“I don’t know, Eej. You have a very serious case.”
“Well which one of these would you rather read: A futuristic book about how aliens have taken over planet Earth and regret climate change or a serial killer who learns to love?”
Gina snorted- the kind of laugh she only gave people when she was really comfortable with them.
“You. Are. Ridiculous.”
“Yeah but you love it.”
“I do.”
Ashlyn watched as EJ slowly moved his arm so it draped across her shoulder on the couch. Ashlyn knew her cousin, and he looked incredibly nervous. Until Gina snuggled even closer, which made his complexion turn rose.
Ashlyn couldn’t believe her eyes. They were really falling for each other.
After working for another half hour, Gina got a call from her mom.
“I’ve gotta take this,” she told EJ. “Don’t wait up, I'm probably gonna crash. Night,” she said, giving him a quick hug and then practically running up the staircase to her room.
Ashlyn waited ten minutes before speaking up in case Gina came back downstairs. She had a really bad habit of breaking up their “moments”.
“Hey, EJ, can you help me with this calculus question? I can’t get it,” Ashlyn feigned.
He made his way over to her, leaning against the counter.
“What’s up? Are you stuck on limits?”
“No, but I am stuck on the fact that you are in love with my roommate.”
“Ash, can you please just drop it?”
“Why?”
“She means too much to me,” EJ said, his voice extremely vulnerable. “I can’t mess things up with her. No matter how bad I want it, and I do… I just have to have her in my life.”
Ashlyn sighed.
“I’m going to tell you something EJ and I really need you to hear me. She likes you. I know.”
“I’ve never felt this way before. For anyone.”
“Gina’s not just anyone. And she will reciprocate.”
“What if it makes things weird for you?”
Ashlyn paused, he really had become more selfless.
“If you’re happy I’m happy,” she replied. “Besides, I couldn’t think of another person more suited for you both. She’s the one.”
“Ash, please. I haven’t even asked her out.”
“She makes you happy! You never open up to anyone and Gina waltzes into your life and suddenly you can talk to her about anything. Again- she's the one."
EJ quirked a brow at her.
“Ugh, fine. It’ll make the ‘I told you so’ moment that much sweeter.”
Graduation day had finally approached and EJ Caswell had nailed his Class President speech. After all of them had thrown their caps in the air the school had become a complete mess of people hollering, crying, and celebrating with their loved ones.
Ashlyn finally spotted her cousin through the crowd as he lifted up Gina and spun her around. He gave her a passionate kiss and her leg popped, just like in all the 2000s rom com movies.
Gina cupped his face in her hands like he was something to be treasured.
“I am so proud of you,” she said.
EJ brought his forehead to hers, and amid all of the chaos, it was like they were in their own world together, just the two of them.
“I love you.”
Gina gave him a quick kiss.
“Love you back.”
Ashlyn cleared her throat.
“I don’t want to break up yet another of your romantic moments but my parents, your dad, Ms. Porter, and all of your teachers are coming this way.”
Gina hugged her boyfriend even tighter.
“Nope. Not letting go.”
And true to her word, she didn’t. Despite everything EJ and Gina chose each other, and Ashlyn just knew that it would last.