Archive of Our Own ^beta

He often sees it in his dreams: a comet splitting the night sky in two halves with its gaseous tail, the stars fading in its presence. He's hypnotised and can't look away, his eyes glued to the beauty of the celestial phenomenon. Then usually appears the second tail, not pearly and tender like the first one, but carmine and ominous. His gaze trails the trajectory of the meteor, as it nears closer, and closer, and closer… Until it eclipses everything, and the world becomes red in front of him, and it’s shattered.

That's when he always wakes up, with a whisper of a name on his lips. What was the name? He can't remember. His eyes are dry, salty trails left all over his face. He was crying again in his sleep.

Mornings like this became a part of his daily routine. Having a simple breakfast, fighting his way through the subway crowd, greeting his colleagues in an elevator, being buried under a pile of documents, rushing to the meetings, having lunch with his sunbaes and then all this again but in a reversed order, until he makes it to his bed in the evening. Every now and then this monochromatic life is colored by the need to look for something. Or someone. He just can't overcome this urge to remember what used to be so precious to him. Was it even there? Was it real? He's incomplete without it, but his attempts are futile, all his thoughts slip away, just leaving a desperate itching feeling of loss.

He can't remember when it started but he is sure it has been a while.

He just needs to remember the name.

The world is shattered beneath Hyunjae.

Or at least that is how it feels.

He rolls his eyes mentally and sighs, the upper level of the bunk bed shaking under his body. A stranger waking up under such circumstances would have probably believed that to be an earthquake, but Hyunjae is used to it. His younger brother Youngjae has trouble waking up to normal melodic tunes, or, to be more exact, to tunes in general, so one day he brought home a weird device that he declared proudly to be a vibrating alarm clock. That day, Hyunjae knew they were doomed. Not only that devil's tool does not wake Youngjae up properly, but it also threatens the life of their dwelling every morning. Hyunjae is sure that one day the walls of their grandmother's old house will surrender and collapse.

Hyunjae gives up and opens his eyes, providing the ceiling with a puzzled look. He tries to remember what he was dreaming of that night. There was definitely something special. But he can't get a grip of what it was. It just slips away.

He sits up in his bed and the right part of his body aches in sudden pain. He gasps and rubs the skin of his arm, there is a bruise, as if from falling from the bed. But he has not fallen, not that he can find something like this in his memory.

He hears Youngjae finally groaning as he struggles to wake up. The younger boy then reaches out to turn off the alarm clock, putting an end to this artificial natural disaster stressing their house. Rubbing his eyes, Youngjae leaves the room silently, not to disturb his brother. Yes, as if he has not already done enough to have quite an opposite effect on him.

Hyunjae climbs down carefully, his leg hurts too. He makes it to the other bathroom, performing his routine and straightening his naturally curly hair. When later he steps into the kitchen, fully clothed in his school uniform, he finds their grandmother and Youngjae already enjoying their breakfast peacefully, as the news report about a comet seems to grasp their attention.

"Good morning," he greets his family with a smile, serving himself a portion of rice.

As they acknowledge Hyunjae’s presence, however, it does not go unnoticed by him, that they exchange a knowing glance, eyeing him in suspicion.

"What is it?" he asks, raising his eyebrow at them.

"You are normal today, hyung," Youngjae states, as if it clarifies anything.

"What do you mean?" Hyunjae asks, unbothered.

"Well, it's just that yesterday you were so weird, totally nuts!" Youngjae makes sure to wave enthusiastically with his hands, as he speaks, the gesture of his futile attempt to grasp the air near him to indicate the degree of Hyunjae’s madness. "You scared the shit out of me!"

"Language, Youngjae-yah," their grandmother interrupts, shaking her head.

"I'm sorry, halmeoni! Anyways, hyung, don't you remember how you yelled "Earthquake!!", waking everyone up, fell from the bed and then dragged me under the table to 'save me'?!" The younger folds his hands on his chest and sends Hyunjae an accusatory look.

Hyunjae stops munching and turns to their grandmother, waiting for her to scold the younger for his prank, but that does not happen. She does not seem to be surprised, there are no signs of disapproval in her face either.

Hyunjae chokes on his food. "I did what?" He cannot believe what he hears. "I don't remember ever doing that," he tries to defend himself. He does not lie when he says so. However, that would explain the bruises on his body… So what? Is he sleepwalking now too? That is too much to have on one's plate. As their grandmother stands up, Hyunjae shoves the last spoon of his breakfast in his mouth and announces his leave, not wanting to hear any of that nonsense anymore.

He kisses their grandmother on the cheek, sends Youngjae a dissatisfied glare, grabs his backpack and stumbles through the door, not waiting for the younger brother today.

He straddles his bike and rushes down the street, pushing the pedals hard, as if they were the cause of his morning bewilderment. It is early summer, the sunshine warms his skin, the wind plays with his hair, and there could be no morning more perfect than this one. He rides through the town, nodding his head in greeting when he meets familiar people, like Mrs. Choi when she flips an 'open' sign on her bakery door, the smell of the freshly baked bread filling Hyunjae’s nostrils, or Mr. Seon, as he waters the flowers in front of his house. To be honest, the town is so small, that there are no unfamiliar people, it is almost like everybody knows everybody. Hyunjae takes a road circling the lake, the main sight of their town, and the sunshine blinking on the water surface blinds him.

When Hyunjae makes it to the midpoint of his way, his two best friends, Chanhee and Younghoon, are already waiting for him at the crossroad. Younghoon is munching on a bun happily that Chanhee has brought for him from his mother's bakery. They take a moment to look at Hyunjae properly, assessingly, as he approaches them with a wide grin.

"Hi, guys," Hyunjae says, as he stops near them, covering his eyes from the sun.

"Looks like you are not possessed today," Chanhee admits sassily, his hand reaching out to stroke through Hyunjae’s locks. "You've straightened your hair today, too" he notices.

"Don't I do it every day?" Hyunjae retorts with a chuckle.

"Yesterday you didn't," Younghoon says, still looking at Hyunjae with some suspicion.

Another thing that Hyunjae does not remember. He scoffs.

"Let's get going, or we'll be late, shall we?" He pushes down the pedals and waits for the boys to catch up.

It's a literature class, and the students cannot be more distracted on a nice day like this. The summer air outside the windows lures them out, as the teacher’s voice tries to anchor them, describing the symbols used by an author.

“...the time setting of this short story should not be left without attention. The characters meet during twilight, that is, the time when two worlds – our reality and a supernatural realm – collide for several minutes…”

Hyunjae opens up his notebook to check the notes from the previous classes, when a page somewhere in the middle catches his attention. There is an inscription there in neat handwriting that occupies almost the whole surface of the page.

"Who are you?"

It says. Hyunjae blinks in confusion. The text is surrounded by small doodles of cute skeleton-like robots. What the heck? Who has messed up with his notebook? What prank is this?

Hyunjae looks at Chanhee and Younghoon, checking for any signs of 'Gotcha!' reaction on their faces, but there is none. Younghoon sends him a questioning gaze, and Hyunjae shakes his head, turning his head back to the inscription.

"Hyunjae-ssi?" the voice of the teacher finally makes it to the student in question, snapping him back to reality.

"I'm sorry. Yes?" Hyunjae stands up.

The teacher smiles at him. "So today you do remember your name, right?" she asks, and that causes everyone in the room to giggle. Everyone, except for Hyunjae.

Again. What is going on?

Once the classes end, Hyunjae takes the long route home, making sure to go to this one spot, which he considers to be his safe place. It’s nothing special, just a little valley on the hill, under the oak tree. From there, one can see the whole town and the lake, and it makes Hyunjae feel a little bit more in power, as if he can detach himself from his life and become an observer.

He sits in the grass, hiding from the bright sun in the shadows generously casted by the old oak tree, enormous branches protecting him from the outer world.

He takes a glance at the scenery in front of him and sighs.

As he said, it is a small town where everyone knows everyone. Well, at least it seems that everyone knows Hyunjae and Youngjae, as their father has recently become a politician. It is not a lie that people there are nice, and Hyunjae has his friends, his family… But the truth is… Despite his lungs being full of fresh air, he suffocates in this place that he sometimes believes to be the land of strangled opportunities. There is nothing to aspire to, nothing to wait for. Hyunjae wants his life to have a greater scale. Nothing written in the stars, perhaps, just to be an ordinary person far away from here.

Sometimes he really wants to be someone else.

Hyunjae wakes up the next day, and it is the most ordinary morning in the world: the sun rises in the east, nothing new about that.

Except for the fact that the bed under Hyunjae is not his bed, and the ceiling above him is definitely not the ceiling of his and Youngjae’s room that has been the first thing he saw after waking up for eighteen years of his life. Even the hand that he pulls to his face to rub the eyelids to have a proper look, is not his hand. Hyunjae stops breathing and takes it in. It’s bigger than his, and the tricky pattern of lines on the palm is unfamiliar to him.

“What is this?”

Hyunjae covers his mouth in shock. Even the voice is not his.

He turns off a still beeping alarm clock, takes a sitting position and looks around.

The small room seems to belong to a student judging by the number of textbooks on the shelves. It is bright, the sunshine lights up the whole space. The walls are covered with posters depicting planets, stars and the sunset sky. A number of paper planes lying here and there attracts Hyujae’s attention. The owner of the room must be a fan of origami. Or aviation. Or both.

Hyunjae is surprised to find himself in a dream with such a detailed setting.

He finally leaves the bed and makes his way to the bathroom. The flat is not big, it seems, so there are no problems with finding his destination. Hyunjae takes a deep breath and looks in the mirror.

As he expected, It is not Hyunjae.

A pair of dark feline eyes blink at him in the reflection. Hyunjae brushes the bangs away and studies the sharp features of the stranger. They must be the same age, more or less, he thinks. And the boy is handsome, he has to admit that.

Hyunjae decides to go with the flow, to see what else this dream has in store for him.

He washes up and leaves the bathroom. Hyunjae hears some noise from the kitchen and then he sees a man in his late forties, rushing to fix his tie and finish his cup of coffee at the same time.

“You’re late,” the man says. “It was your turn to prepare breakfast today,” he elaborates, but then sees a puzzled look on Hyunjae’s face and his features soften. He reaches out to pat Hyunjae on the shoulder.

“I’ve made a rolled omelette, eat some and don’t stay too long or you’ll be late for classes, okay?” The man that Hyunjae believes to be the boy’s dad takes his jacket and briefcase and disappears behind the door.

Left alone, Hyunjae makes his way to the window. That is when he feels his heart sinking. He is not in his hometown, not anymore.

Judging by Namsan Tower far away, he is in Seoul.

What a dream.

“What do you mean you got lost?” Sunwoo asks, frowning in confusion. Haknyeon, standing next to him, is taken aback as well.

Hyunjae feels trapped as he is cornered by these two boys on a school roof.

Never has he imagined dreams could be so tricky. Isn’t he supposed to have at least basic knowledge of who he is? He did not even know his name. It turned out to be a challenge to find out what school he goes to. Good thing was that his school uniform had a logo on it. But his first subway ride ended in him mixing up the trains several times and almost suffocating because of the crowd. Another good thing was that he was able to unlock his phone with a fingerprint, no code needed, so he could have a quick glance at the photos stored there. That was how when he finally made it to school almost at noon, he knew the two boys dragging him to the roof were not some bullies but his friends.

Hyunjae gulps. How can he explain this?

“Well, it’s just the weather is so nice today. Couldn’t help but to take a detour and enjoy the day, you know?” Hyunjae tries to defend himself.

Sunwoo’s boba tea eyes become even more round at this. “Juyeon, what’s gotten into you?” He breathes out. “We have a test next week, do you remember?”

Hyunjae humms. So this Juyeon guy must be good at academics, he thinks. Or at least he is trying to be.

“Sure, yes, I remember,” Hyunjae says, nodding aggressively. “But it’s also important to have a proper rest, right?” He steps aside, indicating that there is no need to answer this question. The boys let him go, but the grain of suspicion is still in the way they access his behaviour.

The three of them stay on the roof to have their lunch. Haknyeon, what a generous soul, gives Hyunjae one of his sandwiches, now just laughing at this amnesia prank Hyunjae tries to pull on them. And his laughter is adorable, Hyunjae thinks.

Then his phone vibrates, a notification pops up on the screen. A text from someone called “boss-nim”, telling him to take the afternoon shift today, as apparently the other worker is sick.

Again, this dream does not provide his memory with any necessary details about his job. Desperate, he clears his throat and glances at Sunwoo and Haknyeon.

“Guys, excuse me, but where do I work?”

Later that day Hyunjae arranges the new supply of ramen packages (all the flavours of which Youngjae would love to taste, Hyunjae thinks) on the shelf at a small convenience store, where, apparently, he works part-time after school. Too bad, even in a dream one has to work to make money.

The door then opens, and Hyunjae lifts his head to check who the intruder is. The young man must have been running, as he is out of breath. He inhales deeply and his eyes meet Hyunjae’s.

“Juyeon-ah!” he exclaims. “I’m sorry, I’m late. Give me two minutes and I’ll come back.” The man beelines to the staff room to change his clothes. He keeps his promise and returns shortly.

Now Hyunjae can study him properly: the man is a couple years older than him, and when he smiles, greeting Hyunjae, the latter remembers. It’s a dimple guy from Juyeon’s phone. There were numerous photos of him in his gallery, the photos of his smile, to be exact. Is Juyeon whipped? Is this guy his boyfriend? Hyunjae doubts that, as there were not so many photos of them together.

So even his love life is complicated in this dream, what a twist.

“It’s fine… Hyung?” Hyunjae hopes he is allowed to use the honorific, he has no information about how close the two men are.

The young man does not look surprised, so Hyunjae is relieved. “What happe-”

“Changmin!” Their boss comes out from his office. “You’re late, there’s no time for your chit-chat. Get to work!”

The dimple does not leave Changmin’s face even as his smile gets a guilty shade. He glances at Hyunjae apologetically and turns around to fulfil his duties.

It’s a strange dream, Hyunjae muses: instead of exploring Seoul he spends the evening at a convenience store, but he does not really want to wake up.

Juyeon has never had memory gaps. These last few weeks, however, it happens to him every other day.

His friends say his behaviour is often weird, as if he is possessed or has dissociative identity disorder. Juyeon seriously considers booking an appointment, as his other personality sometimes skips classes to go to the zoo or to a shopping mall. And this other personality is a big fan of sweet, tooth-rotting, drinks. At least, that is what his expenses report tells Juyeon.

Juyeon is an organised person, and these unfortunate events do not sit well with him.

Another peculiar thing spicing up his daily routine is dreams.
Not just any dreams. He sees them regularly, a whole series with the same character every time. Juyeon is really proud that his brain is capable of maintaining such a setting.

His amusement does not last long. He wants to know more about the protagonist whose life Juyeon lives when he is not awake. So in his dreams he leaves small notes here and there, with all kinds of questions. The most important is, of course, who the person was. Strange things take place, however, when Juyeon finds similar notes in real life: in his room, in his bag, in his jacket.

That is when the gears in his brain finally start working, and it clicks. His memory gaps happen always at the same time when he has those dreams where he pretends to be some Hyunjae. Moreover, that is the time when his second personality grabs the steering wheel of his body.

Are those even dreams?

One day he finds a new app on his phone that he does not remember installing at all. It is a diary. Juyeon is not a fan of social media or any strange apps in general, so it triggers him a bit.

He opens the app and, to his surprise, there is one entry. The date is yesterday, another one of Juyeon’s memory gaps.

Hyunjae. Entry 001
Hi!
So… Body swapping, hah? Who would’ve thought, right?
I believe it’d be nice to get to know each other better, as our lives depend on it.
I suggest we write down (I’ve installed the same app on my phone) the events of the day, to keep each other updated.
And let’s share some facts about ourselves.
I’ll start, I guess?
My name is Lee Hyunjae.
I’m a high school student.
I love dogs. And sunflowers.
And Marvel movies.
P.S. And I hate Iced Americano, seriously stop drinking that!! Sometimes I think I feel its bitterness in my mouth once I wake up.

This list of random preferences is not quite what Juyeon wanted to know about the ‘protagonist”, but it is alright. And he gives justice to the idea of diaries, it could be beneficial for both of them.

Juyeon. Entry 001
Hello, Hyunjae!
I guess we are the same age, so no honorifics needed, right? Let’s be friends.
There are some rules I want to talk about.
I’m asking to not be late for classes, and not to skip them.
My education is really important to me.
And don’t waste that much money on milkshakes, I’m begging you.
It was Youngjae who spilled mango juice on your favourite (I presume) Iron Man t-shirt. He’s already apologised, so don’t scold him.
About me:
I like documentaries. My favourite colour is light green. I’m going to become a pilot.

Hyunjae. Entry 002
Yeaaaah, I’m so glad!! Let’s be friends, sure *heart* *heart*
As for the day, I got you an excellent mark for the maths test!

Juyeon. Entry 002
You do know that this app supports emojis?
No need to use words (like *heart*) instead of them.
I think Chanhee and Younghoon are secretly dating.
Why wouldn’t they tell us?
Thank you for taking my studies seriously!

Hyunjae. Entry 003
You don’t understand. It’s a part of my charm *heart*
They’ve been dating for a year now lmao
And it’s me who people sometimes call dense..
Btw Changmin was late today and he treated me to a milkshake
(you see, you are the only one who has problems with sweet drinks)

Juyeon. Entry 003
Stop fooling around, physics test is in a week.
Some girl Ari asked you out today. I didn’t know what to do, sorry.
Told her you’d think about that

Hyunjae. Entry 004
I’m not fooling around!!
In fact, I met those two exchange students from Canada
Kevin and Jacob
They’re so cuuuuute
I asked them to help me with my English and they agreed
You know those videos on Youtube which you play while sleeping
And they say you learn something that way? (always thought this to be some bs)
And now I can say that I learn English while sleeping lmao
Body swapping works better than yt
As for the girl, thank you, not really interested

Juyeon. Entry 015
I think I broke your bed, I’m sorry
I’ll fix it next time
Have you seen the documentary I was telling you about?

Hyunjae. Entry 015
It’s fine, don’t worry
Maybe I’ll sleepover at Chanhee’s or Younghoon’s
Nah, couldn’t find it anywhere
Chanhee told me you’ve dealt with those bullies
Thank you!! I’m serious

Juyeon. Entry 016
Don’t let them get the upper hand
Lmk if you have other problems
We went to your mother’s grave today
I’m sorry I was there instead of you
(And she was really beautiful. Now it’s clear why you’re so handsome)

Hyunjae. Entry 016
Thank you, Juyeonie *heart* *heart*
You’re a person with the biggest heart out there
I’m so happy I know you!

Juyeon. Entry 023
I’m begging you, please, stop feeding pigeons on the window-sill!!
I’m terrified of them (but don’t tell anyone)
And.. Thank you for the haircut, I guess?

Hyunjae. Entry 037
You are going on a date with Changmin this Saturday!!
Yeah, I know, I’m da best
First, a photo exhibition (for you)
Then you two go to the cinema for a new sequel of some horror movie (for him)
It’s strange, but i”ve never even heard of the first parts. And they seem to be pretty popular in Seoul
So enjoy! *heart*
Btw you’ll be able to see the comet in the evening
What a great way to finish the date lmao

Juyeon. Entry 037
…
You shouldn’t have
But thank you
Really
Have fun at the Fireworks Festival!
*heart*

Hyunjae reads Juyeon’s diary entry on his way to the kitchen, and he cannot suppress a smile taking over his face, as he sees the *heart* at the end. His grandmother notices it right away.

“Any good news?” she asks, stirring the soup.

Hyunjae pockets his phone, shaking his head apologetically.

“No, just a good dream,” Hyunjae says.

She eyes him suspiciously and gives him a know-it-all grin.

“You know, Hyunjae-yah, when I was young I used to have those kinds of dreams too,” she says, glancing through the window, but it looks like her gaze goes far away through her past.

“What dreams?” Hyunjae is curious, but he feels anxious, just a bit.

“Where I and some other person live each other's lives.”

Hyunjae stares at his grandmother, shocked. So he is not the only one capable of this?

“Do you still see them? Those dreams?”

“No, unfortunately,” she responds with a sigh. “I miss the feeling, though. It didn’t last long… And right after it goes away, the memories fade alarmingly fast. I don’t even remember who the person was.” She looks at Hyunjae, pausing, as if considering whether she should say the next phrase. “Your mother used to have those dreams too.”

Hyunjae’s mouth falls open. Who could have thought?

Grandmother approaches him and cups his face tenderly, with her warm wrinkled hands, looking him straight in the eyes. “It’s a gift, Hyunjae-yah, you should cherish it.”

Hyunjae nods. He surely will.

But that causes a nasty feeling to settle deep inside of his mind. How much time do they have?

Juyeon goes on a date with Changmin, and everything is perfect: they enjoy their time together and laugh a lot.

The problem is, every now and then Juyeon zones out thinking about Hyunjae.

Hyunjae would like these shots at a photo exhibition.

The mischievous little boy running in the park not far away from the two men, has hair just as curly as Hyunjae does.

Among the trailers shown before the movie starts, there is a new sequel about a superhero whom Hyunjae adores.

While Changmin does not bat an eye when a jump-scare takes place in the horror movie they watch, Juyeon is such a scaredy-cat, Hyunjae would be braver than him, he thinks.

When afterwards they stand in line to get their drinks, a girl in front of Juyeon takes a strawberry milkshake. And he believes Hyunjae would appreciate such a choice.

So at the end of the evening, it goes without surprise that when Juyeon suggests walking Changmin home, the latter rejects his offer. He smiles softly, a dimple still there.

“It was a great date, Juyeon-ah. Thank you for today,” he says, rubbing Juyeon’s shoulder. “You know, I’m sure there used to be something in the way you looked at me,” Changmin exhales. “But now I don’t see it.” He locks his eyes with Juyeon’s. “Your mind is somewhere else. With someone else.”

Juyeon’s breath hitches, he feels caught, he opens his mouth to object, but Changmin does not let him.

“It’s fine. I mean it. Perhaps, you should go after that person, hm?” Changmin raises his eyebrow suggestively. He gives Juyeon a reassuring smile and steps back. “See you at work, I guess?”

Juyeon nods slowly. “Yes. I’m sorry, hyung.” Juyeon looks at his shoes. Are his explanations really needed? He doubts that and keeps silent, watching as Changmin goes away.

Left alone, he looks at the sky. There are no signs of the comet Hyunjae has mentioned. What was he even talking about?

Juyeon sighs. He misses Hyunjae. Though never actually being near, this person eclipsed everything in his life. He will make sure to let him know that once they swap bodies again.

Except… After that night, it never happens to them anymore.

First it has been days, then weeks, and now a whole month has passed. Juyeon does not know if Hyunjae is alright, if something has happened to him. He tried calling and texting, for the first time since they have 'met', but the signal would not go through. Juyeon is barely sleeping, always on edge. The glimpses of dreams he sees when he still manages to fall asleep are full of unexplainable flashes, light, collapse and pain.

So four weeks later Juyeon makes up his mind to find Hyunjae, he will go to look for him in his hometown. The problem is, however, that Juyeon does not remember its name. No one has ever mentioned it during his ‘visits’.

It takes him hours to study the map, searching for towns based on the lakes in mountainous areas. To his surprise, the number of such towns is quite big.
Luckily, they are located in the same region. He shoves the map and some clothes into his backpack and is about to leave for the railway station, when he meets bewildered Sunwoo, Haknyeon and Changmin on his doorstep.

"What are you doing here?" Juyeon asks, taken aback.

"We came to check on you. Why don't you pick up the phone?"

It does not surprise Juyeon that the three of them came together. Sunwoo and Haknyeon sometimes paid him an unexpected visit during his work hours, so they knew Changmin.

"I'm perfectly fine, guys," he lies. "Sorry, I need to go now." He steps out and locks the door behind him. "But thank you for checking on me."

"Where are you heading to? You've been missing classes and asking to change your shift schedule for several days in a row…" Sunwoo points out.

"Please, Juyeon. We're just worried about you!" Haknyeon interjects.

Changmin supports the words of the other two with a soft smile.

“I need to meet someone,” Juyeon clarifies. He does not wait for the trio to catch up to him and rushes to the exit of the apartment complex.

The boys eye each other for a brief second and run after him.

“So who is this person?” Changmin finally lets his curiosity get the best of him. “Have you met each other on the Internet or something?”

Sunwoo’s eyes grow wild at the suggestion. “Oh, no, Juyeon-ah! What’s about the social dilemma then? I thought you were off social media for good. Weren’t you the one who was so eager to shove this idea into our heads?!”

Juyeon rolls his eyes. “No, that’s not how we- How we met.” He sighs. “Never mind.” He stops suddenly and turns around to face his friends, who almost fall because of the unexpected move. “Listen, I’m gonna be fine on my own. Just a small trip to the countryside. I’ll be back by night. Nothing to worry about, okay?”

The three of them exchange anxious glances at that.

Well, Juyeon is not really surprised: his persuasion skills have never been impressive. So half an hour later the four young men find themselves enjoying the view flashing behind the train’s windows. They did not want to leave Juyeon alone, no matter how generous, kind and adorable this stranger-not-from-the-Internet could be.

It’s not easy to find the town Juyeon was dreaming about. The grain of doubt whether the town exists starts to grow, as the boys stop at ten or so different railway stations, but without any luck.

It’s way past noon when they reach the last spots Juyeon has marked on his map. And by the look of it, that was not what he was hoping to find.

The three of them, Juyeon, Changmin and Hakneyon, sit on the grass under the torturing hot rays of sunshine. While Changmin basically enjoys the light and exposes his face to absorb it, Juyeon rubs his nape, contemplating what they- No, what he should do next. His friends must be tired, they should just go back home, it is not their problem after all.

Haknyeon is singing some random old song to brighten up the mood, when Sunwoo comes back and exclaims their names to get their attention.

“I think we found it!” he states proudly, being glad to bring some good news. Sunwoo was trying his luck with the locals, that means, to be more precise, to win the hearts of local old ladies, using his natural charm. No one could resist. So one of the women became rather talkative and noted there was one more town they could have missed.

At that line, Sunwoo brings his friends to her, to get more information. Flattered by the attention of four handsome men, the old lady, however, does not radiate any sign of confidence in the good nature of their discovery. She gulps.
“Yes, I know that town that you described. I used to live there. Many- Many years, since I was a little girl…” The voice of the old lady becomes nostalgic, she is happy for those memories to resurface.

Juyeon does not want to be impatient and rude, but he cannot calm down his racing heart. So asks, “And where is this town? Could you give us any directions, please?”

At that, a shadow reaches the lady’s smiling face. Her features become dark, even painful.

“This town does not exist anymore,” she says quietly, teary eyed. “It was destroyed by a comet falling from the sky three years ago.”

And Juyeon’s heart stops racing.

For the rest of the day, Juyeon stays silent most of the time. He has no words, just a void inside of his mind and soul, sucking him in, preying on him.

The old lady was so kind and asked her grandson to give the boys a ride to the town in question. To be more exact, to what was left there.

When they step out of the car, the view in front of them makes them shiver. It’s a picture of the apocalypse, Juyeon thinks. Houses are broken, shattered, crumbled. As if someone smashed them in a hand and then dropped on the ground. The lake’s waters invaded the town and covered most of it. Juyeon is afraid, no, he is terrified to look at the place where Hyunjae’s house is supposed to be. He inhales deeply and searches for the spot with his eyes. Only the lake’s surface, sparkling in the sun, such a cruel contrast, meets his gaze.

Juyeon just cannot believe in what he sees. Is Hyunjae?.. He does not let himself finish the thought.

The old lady’s grandson takes them to the local archive. They find old newspapers and documents, and Juyeon wishes he could forget how to read.

“...The comet is visible from Earth once in 1,500 years. It is a chance of a lifetime…”

“...It was a Firework Festival that day…”

“...Thus everyone in town will be able to witness both natural and artificial decorations of the sky…”

“...Once the flowers of fireworks faded, a comet, dressed in all white, appeared on the canvas of the dome, everyone gasped…”

“...Suddenly it split…”

“...No one predicted that…”

“...3,756 victims…”

Then they find the death toll.

And Juyeon wants to be as far away as possible and not to touch the papers in his hands. He is shaking and out of breath.

He opens the document and scans the list of the names, hoping, wishing, begging to find nothing.

But they are all there.

Hyunjae’s friends. Hyunjae’s family.

And Hyunjae himself.

Juyeon suppresses a silent scream. He does not cry, he is too empty for that at the moment. Why is it written there? It must be a mistake. No, no, it cannot be true. Juyeon’s fingers follow the lines of the letters in Hyunjae’s name, and a giggle leaves his throat. He feels it is wrong, he feels he is on edge, and he cannot help it. Juyeon scoffs at the irony: Hyunjae’s name means ‘present’, but they do not even share the same present. He did not die yesterday. It was three whole years ago. They were from different timelines.

Juyeon feels someone is hugging him from behind. It’s Sunwoo, he understands. His hands are warm, they ground Juyeon, helping him to escape from his tormenting thoughts. Haknyeon and Changmin also come closer and pat his shoulders, supporting him. Juyeon is grateful. He does not really need to hear any words from them. Just to know that they are here, with him, no matter what. It is clear they are confused and do not see the full picture, as Juyeon does. Nevertheless, they do not hesitate to comfort him, they believe that his pain is real.

It's way past midnight, but Juyeon is still awake. He looks around the small hotel room where they stayed for the night, it is filled with darkness. Sunwoo, Haknyeon and Changmin are long asleep, their even breath is the only sign of their presence. It seems that it's only now that Juyeon notices how calm the night in the rural area is. The silence is deafening, it highlights each stroke of the clock hands, and the sound goes almost in sync with Juyeon’s racing heartbeat.

He rolls over on his back, his eyes wide open and piercing through the limitless emptiness of the ceiling above him. Sometimes you feel that your thoughts are eating you alive, you want to have a break from them, a time-out, to find a switcher that will turn your consciousness off, at least for a while, so that you could wake up as a stronger yourself, ready to deal with whatever's coming. Juyeon almost groans because of his desperate and futile attempt to find this switcher hidden somewhere in his mind. He wants to cry, he wants to scream, but he just cannot find the force in him to let it all out.

He surrenders to the fact that there is no way he will be able to fall asleep in the coming hours, so he puts the blanket aside, gets up and treads towards the door carefully, so that the squeaking floor wouldn't disturb other boys.

When Juyeon is finally outside, he lets the night air fill his lungs up to the brim. It's crispy and chilly, and Juyeon welcomes its freshness. He steps down from the porch and settles on the ground in a small garden, surrounding the house. He takes a glance at the closed buds of the flowers. At the moment, he is jealous of this never failing ability to sleep, given by nature.

He notices a firefly climbing over a leaf, its small body glowing green in the darkness. It has been many years since Juyeon saw one. The last time, probably, was a long time ago, when his family visited the grandparents in the country, Juyeon still a child. He chuckles to himself at the peculiar way the human memory works. What he once believed to be a miracle, a mind-blowing and spectacular trick up the nature's sleeve, faded and got lost in his mind only to be taken back to the surface of his recollections after all this time.

He wonders if one day he forgets Hyunjae and what they have shared. It was a miracle too, right? An unbelievable and inerasable one. Juyeon pushes this thought aside, ashamed of himself. He will not let this happen.

The firefly unfolds its wings and takes off, leaving him alone.

Juyeon lifts his head and looks at the night sky. Far from the city, he can clearly distinguish multiple constellations and a trail of the Milky Way crossing the dark blue dome. Some of these sparkling dots don't even exist anymore, they are just ghosts, shadows of their past selves. Only their light comes through the universe to reach our eyes, when the stars themselves can already be dead.

Juyeon sighs. So was Hyunjae like that as well? The dreams they have shared are just an afterimage, an echo in the canvas of time and space? It was hard to believe. The people from Hyunjae’s orbit that Juyeon has met… They were clearly soaking in the light of a living person: the light of his smiles, his warmth, his kindness. Juyeon can't accept such an abrupt finale to their story, he can't let Hyunjae go.

He stays there for a while, watching the sky, so solid and heavy, yet still moving. To Juyeon’s surprise, a shooting star appears on the dark fabric, its trace bright and sharp. It switches something on in Juyeon. Hope.

Juyeon closes the hotel’s front door early in the morning, leaving his friends a note. They should head back home, and he has to come back and have a second look at the destroyed town. Juyeon hopes they won’t get mad. He appreciates their support, he even cherishes it, but he needs to be alone for some time.

Juyeon has to walk a lot, and he feels that corks start to form on his feet under the material of tight sneakers, but he decides to ignore that. When he reaches the town, he does not go in but takes a detour to find the hill where Hyunjae enjoys spending time at. Yes, Juyeon would not use the past tense even in his thoughts.

The road makes a sharp turn, and then Juyeon sees it. The old oak tree is enormous. It stands out and captivates your attention. Slowly, as if careful not to chase away any local spirits, Juyeon goes up the hill.

Hyunjae was right: the view from here is spectacular, or, at least, it used to be. An image that is now imprinted in Juyeon’s eyelids even when he closes his eyes, is the one of this town, defeated, surrendered to the power of nature.

Juyeon sits on the ground and presses his back against the thick trunk of the tree. How old is this oak? A century? Or even two? Juyeon rubs the bark with his fingers, wondering how many shooting stars this oak has seen, how many deaths it has witnessed. He does not resist now, letting the dark road of his mind guide him. His eyes get teary, and he starts to cry. Juyeon cries hard, and loud, and only the oak is to see his weeping soul. After some time only sobbing can be heard, and with the salty taste of silent tears on his lips, Juyeon lets his consciousness be swept away, falling asleep properly for the first time in a month.

Hyunjae wakes up with a weird feeling, as if he has been hit by a car, for a few seconds every part of his body just aches. He tries to concentrate and to take in what is around him. He sighs with relief, it is his and Younjae’s bunk bed in their room.

Hyunjae tries to remember the previous day, as there are no new diary entries. Then it hits him. He took a train to Seoul.

Not being able to calm down, he persuaded himself that going to Seoul, finding Juyeon there and joining him and Changmin for their date would be a great idea for their first proper meeting. There was chaos in Hyunjae’s heart, when he desperately admitted the existence of glimpses of jealousy. Jealousy because of the date that, excuse him, he had arranged himself. It just does not make sense.

Then his grandmother’s words reappeared in his memory. It was all temporary and it would eventually go away.

That is why he mustered up his courage, bid adieu to shocked Younjae and rushed to the railway station.

He did not find what he was looking for.
Well, he did find Juyeon. So accurate and clumsy at the same time, so gullible and handsome, his Juyeon.

But the latter did not recognise Hyunjae. There was not even a tiny spark of acknowledging who was next to him.

It ruined Hyunjae, he could not understand how that was possible. Was he that insignificant in Juyeon’s life?

He came back to his hometown with dry salty traces on his cheeks.

If their last body swapping was really the last, the end, Hyunjae would need to learn how to accept it. He decided to think about it the next day, too empty to study all this at the moment. He smiled through his pain and went to meet his friends to enjoy the Firework Festival together and to look at the comet.

And that is where things become blurry.

Hyunjae gasps, remembering how the comet split and its part became a meteor rushing so fast to Hyunjae’s orbit…

It killed him. And not only him, everyone who was there.

Is he dead? Is this some sort of afterlife?

Or was it a dream? There must be no ‘the next day’, and still, here Hyunjae is, lying in his bed, safe and sound.

He leaves the house to get a better understanding of what was happening, and he feels like the character of Groundhog Day, it is the same day all over again, the comet is to fly above Earth again. And he is the only one who remembers yesterday’s events.

Most of the day passes, as if Hyunjae is drugged, unable to move, to think properly. He does not know what to do. Should he try to persuade people not to go to the Fireworks Festival? What was the scale of the disaster? Is it even going to repeat itself? Or are they safe? Hyunjae doubts that. His head is full of discouraging thoughts when he hears that someone’s calling him by his name, far, far away.

Hyunjae looks up but sees no one in sight. Then he hears it again. The sound is muffled, as if it goes through numerous obstacles, through water, through time.

No, it can’t be.

Is this Juyeon’s voice?

Hyunjae’s breath hitches. He tries to understand the source of the sound, its location. And the oak tree hill seems to be the answer to his question.

Hyunjae runs up the hill, his eyes never stop searching for Juyeon. But the valley is empty, Hyunjae and the oak tree are the only ones there. Hyunjae gulps, not ready to give up.

“Juyeon!” he shouts again and again.

“Hyunjae!” he hears in response, so close.

They are running up and down, trying to find each other, but in vain. Hyunjae trips on an exposed root, hidden in the grass, and he falls. That is when the sun starts to set. And it’s twilight.

“Hyunjae,” Juyeon repeats his name quietly, and his voice is now crystal clear, no echo, no obstacles.

Hyunjae turns around, still lying on the ground, and he finally sees Juyeon. The real Juyeon. In the flesh. Hyunjae cannot breathe.

He should be mad about yesterday, when he was ignored so brutally, but he just cannot be. He sees the way Juyeon is looking at him now, as if Hyunjae is the most important person on the planet, and Hyunjae just melts in response.

Juyeon reaches his hand out to help Hyunjae get on his feet.

Hyunjae takes it and stands up, not dropping Juyeon’s hand. He looks at it: he was right, it is much bigger than his. He rubs the skin with his thumb and locks eyes with Juyeon.

They are so close, and he is happy to be so close, and he lets out a giggle, not being able to contain it. Juyeon shares his reaction, repeating after him. And seconds later they laugh together, laugh out loud to defeat all their worries.

With huge smiles, they study each other, absorb each other’s images, engraving them in their mind.

Juyeon is the first one to snap back to reality, a shadow of anxiety eclipses the joy on his face.

“Hyunjae, I think we do not have much time. You need to know something. The comet you were talking about-”

“I know,” Hyunjae interrupts him. “It’s going to split and fall here.” Hyunjae is surprised that he sounds so composed.

“Yes! But it’s going to be a disaster!” The panic now is evident in Juyeon’s voice. “The town will go to rack and ruin,” Juyeon says, taking a step forward. “Please, Hyunjae, you need to run away, to escape, to hide. Please, I’m begging you.”

Hyunjae lowers his head, nodding. “I want to, but there is a whole town that I need to persuade somehow to leave their lovely homes. How do I do that? My family and friends will probably listen to me, but as for the rest… I doubt that,” Hyunjae says, shrugging his shoulders helplessly.

Juyeon hums. “What do you think about making this Firework Festival even bigger?” Juyeon asks with a smirk. “Perhaps, at a fueling station?”

“Setting fire?! Arson?!” Hyunjae is shocked to the core, he did not know there was such a mischievous (to say the least) side to Juyeon.

But he consideres it. And comes to a conclusion that it must work. He has no other options to start the evacuation.

He looks back at Juyeon, and he is frightened. “Actually, I’m not even sure what type of death would be worse, in case our scenario goes south,” Hyunjae confides.

Juyeon tightens his grip on Hyunjae’s hands to reassure him. “It’s going to be okay, Hyunjae.” Juyeon smiles, but then shrugs his shoulders uneasily. “And there’s one more thing.”

Hyunjae does not even have enough time to blink, when Juyeon pulls him against his chest and presses their lips together. It takes Hyunjae several long seconds to catch on to what is actually happening. Juyeon even starts to pull back, ashamed and discouraged, when Hyunjae grips his t-shirt and kisses him back. It’s soft and needy, and Hyunjae puts all his soul in it, as if there is no tomorrow. Well, in his case the probability of this day being his last one is frustratingly high. So he lets himself drown in the sensation that is of dark purple colour. Just as twilight is. The colour of a dream, a reverie, something supernatural and unreal. And with Juyeon’s hands in his hair and on his nape, keeping him close, keeping him warm, Hyunjae does not want to wake up.

“Will meet again,” Juyeon whispers, once they pull back, gasping for air. It’s not a question, it’s a statement.

Hyunjae nods, and they glance at the evening sky. The sun is almost set.

Hyunjae looks back at Juyeon. “I need to remember your-”

The phrase is left unfinished, as twilight is over and Juyeon is no longer here. Hyunjae is alone again.

“The dumbest decision in my life!” Hyunjae declares, as he flicks the lighter and sets fire to the fireworks he has set at a fueling station. At least the show promises to be epic. He just hopes it will not be the last thing he sees.

The fire is huge and spreads quickly. Soon enough, the evacuation announcement can be heard from the speakers. The cacophony of sirens is a shameful contrast to the most beautiful celestial phenomenon Hyunjae has ever seen.

The crowd is moving fast. Hyunjae is relieved when he finally can embrace his family and friends. Everyone is safe.

When Hyunjae notices the comet splitting, he is not frightened anymore. A wave of serenity washes over him. He will live. He will have a future. And his lifetime will be shared with… Whom?

An uneasy feeling close to a panic attack rushes through his veins. He forgot something. Something important. Or someone? What was the person’s name? A key puzzle piece is missing.

Hyunjae has saved everyone, but why does he feel so empty now?

8 years later in Hyunjae’s timeline
(*5 years later in Juyeon’s one)

It feels nice to be under the Seoul sky again, Hyunjae thinks, while he exits the plane, as his business trip has come to an end. The flight was not that long, but the pressure of the intense negotiations with the new partners at a foreign branch of their bank throughout the whole week was not taken lightly by Hyunjae’s mind and body. And now he feels it is not only a warm coat that wraps his shoulders, but an immense need for some rest as well.

Hyunjae lets the stream of people guide him through the airport, following the flow of the crowd. Hyunjae rubs the handles of his briefcase and his bag with his thumb, as he rearranges them in one hand, and unpockets his phone with the other one. He turns airplane mode off and the screen is flooded with notifications. He skips work emails to check them later and switches his attention to not so numerous personal messages.

From Bbanghoonie:
Hey, it seems you’ll be back to Seoul the same time as we do!!
A movie night on Saturday at our place? You’re down?
Chanhee’s cooking btw
And you don’t want to miss that!
lmk once you arrive

Hyunjae smiles reading the invitation. Who knew it would be that difficult to meet your friends often once you are all adults: matching your schedules is tough. So Hyunjae misses the two of his best friends who have just returned from their short vacation that they took to celebrate their second wedding anniversary. He glances at his bag where he keeps a small present for the couple.

The dots indicating that the other man is typing an answer appear just a few moments later.

From Bbanghoonie:
Oh, beware
He’s taken so many shots you can make a whole book outta them ㅋㅋ

Hyunjae is far from being frightened by the warning. It’s quite the opposite: he always appreciates Chanhee’s vision of the world, his perception of it through a film camera. So Hyunjae lets the corners of his mouth go up and leaves the last text unanswered, opening his chat with Youngjae.

From Young Menace:
HYUNG!! HYYUUUUNG!
We have an emergency
My maths exam is an a week
And it’s a disaster
Hyung, please, please, please, tutor me ㅠㅠ

Hyunjae sighs, pretending to be disappointed. In fact, he is proud of his dongsaeng who is doing pretty well at the university. Hyunjae would not mind helping him a bit, but Youngjae does not need to know that he rushes to his rescue that easily.

Fast as lighting (as usual), his brother sends an answer. A lot of them, actually. Hyunjae always cherishes the vividness of this young brat. But that’s another thing that he wouldn’t officially admit.

From Young Menace:
THANK YOU HYUNGGG!!!
U R the best!!
The best Hyunjae-hyung in the world
Oh, I was at grandma’s
btw when was the last time you visited her?
You should come too!!
She misses her little bear Jae
And this little bear Jae should also treat me, a suffering and miserable student, to lunch
Thursday afternoon sounds good to me btw
Just saying

Hyunjae scoffs and closes the chat. This dongsaeng really wants to be scolded, he thinks. Still, Youngjae is right about one thing. Hyunjae works too much and does not visit their grandmother as often as he should. And after all, it was not easy for the old woman to move, leaving behind not just her hometown, but the backbone of her past, of her life. So Hyunjae makes a note in his mind to take the first train tomorrow, once his workday is over.

Hyunjae finally exits through the airport doors and takes his eyes off the screen, looking at the sky. The sun is about to set, it’s twilight, his favourite time of the day. L'heure entre chien et loup, as the French call it. The time of Dogs and Wolves, when you cannot distinguish who you see in the dusk: a friend or an enemy. There is something captivating in the way it sends shivers down Hyunjae’s spine every time he witnesses this picture above him. As if the borders of the real world blur a little, letting in something alien, unexplainable. Dark purple stains mix with soft purple clouds, both of them will be swept away by the wave of the orange gold, and in a matter of minutes the darkness will claim its right to own the world.

Hyunjae lifts his phone up to take a shot. He opens a camera app, but he notices the selfie mode is still on, and instead of the sky watercolours on the screen he sees a group of people, an airplane crew, he thinks, standing behind him, about ten meters away. Hyunjae is about to fix his mistake and to turn a regular camera on, when the younger of the two pilots catches his attention.

He looks strangely, oddly, even eerily familiar. Hyunjae cannot help but to zoom in, and his breath hitches. These eyes forming crescent moons as he smiles, rubbing his long slim fingers, sending his elder colleague a gaze full of appreciation…

“...Thank you so much, Sangyeon-hyung, for your guidance!” the young pilot declares, as Hyunaje catches a fragment of their conversation.

The elder one, Sangyeon, Hyunjae presumes, answers something back in a calm voice, Hyunjae cannot make it out. But the proud expression on his face speaks for itself.

Pretty flight attendants, surrounding the two men, nod cheerfully, agreeing with his words.

The young pilot gets shy and averts his gaze, to Hyunjae’s misfortune, in his direction. Their eyes lock on the screen of Hyunjae’s phone, and that’s exactly when the latter’s world shatters, something snaps in him.

He yanks his hand with the phone down, still turned to the stranger with his back. Hyunjae tries to catch a breath, as the visions of this man flood his mind. Hyunjae cannot grab the meaning behind all this. Are those glimpses memories? But whose memories are they? His? Or this pilot’s? Or theirs? Something is missing, as if there must be the last puzzle piece. Only once you get it, you will be able to see the full picture.

Hyunjae jumps, when someone’s hand touches his shoulder carefully. He turns around and sees the pilot in question, so close.

“Sorry, didn’t want to scare you. But have we ever me-” The pilot’s phrase is left hanging in the air, as he takes a proper look at Hyunjae, and their eyes lock for the second time.

The pilot’s face expression mirrors Hyunjae’s, he gulps and opens his mouth to say something, but no words find their way out. The electricity in the air is almost tangible, and Hyunjae’s brain short-circuits. Do they feel the same thing? Do they see the same visions? Hyunjae takes in the man’s sharp features, and questions himself: is it possible that a whole person can be a déjà vu?

Perhaps, for the first time in his life, Hyunjae struggles to speak. He cannot describe the feeling of comfort, of stability, of… truthfulness?.. that fill his body up to the brim, as the two of them just stand next to each other. Despite the twilight, it is out of the question: this person is not an enemy, but a friend. A person who feels like finally being home.

Hyunjae is overwhelmed and frightened, the tempest of emotions threatens to destroy his soul. Are these feelings even real?

Hyunjae clears his throat, the sound seems to snap the other man out of his reveries as well.

“I’m… I’m Hyunjae,” he says in a quiet voice, waiting for something, anything.

And that is when the pilot’s features brighten up. The growing smile on his face is a sunrise, its light reaches his eyes, but does not stop there, it goes straight to Hyunjae, to chase the darkness of doubts away, to warm him, to cover him.

The man takes a step towards Hyunjae.

“Hi, Hyunjae. It’s been a long time,” the man’s low voice is soothing. He tilts his head to the side, as if waiting for any sparkles of recognition to appear in Hyunjae’s eyes, but they are still blank. “It’s me. Juyeon.”

And with the sound of the name, the last puzzle piece is finally in its rightful place. Something clicks in Hyunjae’s mind. Now he sees. He sees the person he’s been looking for all those years.

As the sun finally sets, twilight coming to an end, Hyunjae answers Juyeon with his happiest smile.