Work Text:
You stand in the theater, holding your binder in your arms. Its pages are full of character sheets in careful sleeves, some autographed by bands, by actors, by writers in the culture. Your life in roleplaying clasped against your chest. Today’s the big interview, but instead of the whole club it’s just the DM. The head of Hellfire, Eddie Munson, with a one-shot to test your mettle.
“Take a seat,” he says, and you take a breath. Sure. Sitting. That’s easy. You pull out a chair and sit down, gingerly placing the binder on the table. The cover houses a picture of your favorite character, and his eyes stare back at you from behind the plastic. You’ve never been so nervous.
Or excited.
“Tell me about your character. Who are they? What makes them tick?”
You pull out the last sheet in your binder and give him a brief rundown. A goblin barbarian named Mungus, tenth level. He has a belt of Stone Giant’s Stength and a hefty battleaxe named Gorechild - but he is not actually a wild, unintelligent little creature. Your Mungus comes from a noble house of erudite goblins, hidden away from the world. Hugh, which is of course his actual name, chose to explore the world under the guise of an uneducated and uncouth goblin to keep their lair hidden and protected.
“Wait, wait - lemme get this straight. His name… is Hugh Mungus?”
“It makes him feel big,” you answer, grinning wide.
“Holy shit,” Eddie chuckles. “That’s the goofiest thing I’ve ever heard. I love it! Hugh Mungus!” He drums his fingers against the table and leans forward, into your personal space, a smile answering your own.
It’s time to get the interview started.
“Mungus. You stand in the back of a cave, locked in a steel cage. Four bugbears fill the cave, and one pokes and prods at you through the bars. In their vaguely goblinoid tongue you make out comments about eating you, picking your bones clean, and something about a sacrifice. Gorechild rests atop a pile of discarded gear in the corner. What do you do?”
“Can I reach the lock?”
“Your arms are short, but you think you can reach the small iron padlock holding the cage shut.”
“Alright,” you say, picking up a D20. “I want to try and break the lock. Quietly.”
Eddie watches you, his dark brown eyes locked on yours.
“Doing it quietly, huh? You’ll have disadvantage on that roll.”
Fair. You nod and grab a second die, rolling them both on the wooden table.
3. 14.
“Fuck,” you grumble. “That’s a 9 total.”
“Oooh! Mungus cannot break the lock! Tough break for him. Do you want to try once more? You have one more shot, you think, before the fire they’re building is ready.”
“… If I don’t try to hide the sound…”
“Then you’ll make a normal roll,” Eddie confirms.
You take a breath and pick up the die that rolled your 14. After a quick rub on your shirt for good luck, you shake it and let it fall.
17.
“23!” You say triumphantly.
Eddie reaches over his DM screen and offers you a high five. You gladly take it.
“Mungus grips the lock and tries again. This time he wrenches the rusted iron just right and it snaps.”
He rolls some dice out of sight, checking against a table printed on his side of the screen. He does the math quickly and lifts his head back to you.
“One bugbear noticed the metallic snap. He strides away from the others and comes to the cage. The creature towers above you, its golden eyes catching the lock in your hand. ‘Little green,’ it says in broken Goblin. ‘Stay put.’”
“I would like to rage ,” you say with a smirk. “And slam the door into him.
“Roll an attack!”
You roll again, hopeful.
9. +6 from your 23 strength, but no bonus from your axe which still sits out of reach.
“Does a 15 hit?”
“Just barely, but it hits!” Eddie says enthusiastically. “Roll a… let’s call it a d6 for door damage, plus your strength.”
“3, plus 6, for a total of 9 damage.”
“9! Alright, now describe your attack to me. Don’t skimp on the details, man, make it cinematic.”
“Mungus stares up at the bugbear and snarls. He stamps his little feet, one, then the other, and slams his fists on his chest. His eyes begin to glow with the lust of battle and he throws his little body against the door with all his strength!”
“Yeah! Hell yeah! Alright! The door slams into the bugbear and knocks him back several paces. At this point, the other three look up from the cooking fire confused. You get a surprise round on them.”
You hold up a finger and stop him.
“Hang on. That’s my action and bonus action. I still get to move, right?”
“Right.”
“I’m going to start moving toward my gear.”
Eddie grabs a marker from beside his screen and stands up, leaning over the table. As he begins to draw on the map, he nods toward a bag resting next to his chair.
“Grab a mini for Mungus. I think I have a few goblins in there.”
You pick up the bag and rummage around past dragons and mimics, trolls and dwarves, pixies and zombies until you find yourself a goblin miniature. You set it where he’s drawn the cage. When Eddie finishes he gets out a couple of bugbears and places them as well - one a few squares away from you, and three around the roaring fire.
“Alright. You can move your character now. What’s your speed?”
“40 feet.”
“He’s a fast little guy! Gotta love barbarians. He can easily make it to Gorechild and pick it up.”
You move Mungus to the haphazard pile.
“Now, new round, the three around the fire are surprised. This one,” Eddie says, indicating the damaged bugbear, “is not. What is your next move?”
You grin and mimic gripping an axe in your hands.
“Mungus attacks.”
As the fight rages, you find yourself leaning closer to Eddie. He’s a pretty guy - long hair, big brown eyes, dimples deep enough to drown in - and you can’t help but stare when he talks. He has a way with setting the stage and getting you absorbed in the scene, which only gets you more excited to join the club.
Roleplaying is your life. Your main hobby. You’ve been playing since you were in the single digits, and you can’t imagine giving it up. That Hawkins High even has a tabletop club seems like a sign to you: you belong here.
And dammit, you hope Eddie thinks so too. Not just for the chance to keep building stories and making friends.
So you can spend time with the cutest guy in school.
“Mungus stands there triumphant, barely hanging on. He’s covered in blood, but the bugbears lay dead at his feet. There will be no sacrifice, no picking of bones tonight. What does he do?”
You lean in, barely a breath away from Eddie.
“I loot the corpses.”
He makes a few rolls and pulls out a small piece of paper. It’s rolled up and tied with a bit of twine. This guy has props , you have to get in!
“You find a handful of silver, we’ll say six. Worn armor and weapons that are too rusted to be worth anything. A carving to a goddess you’ve never seen before - her hair hides tentacles, lovingly textured with scales against the strands. And with it, this scroll. Go ahead! Open it up!”
You gently tug on the string and open the scroll, unrolling the paper. It’s been stained with coffee or maybe tea to look aged, and on it in ink reads FIND THE VILLAGE. CUT HIM TIL HE SPEAKS. THE GOBLINS WILL PAY FOR THEIR THEFT OF KNOWLEDGE.
A tailored message just for Mungus. When did he have time to make it? You glance up at him and Eddie winks at you, clearly pleased with the look on your face.
“When did you -“
“When you got up to get a water,” Eddie laughs.
You can’t help yourself. It’s been a good session, he worked your backstory into a one-shot and ended with the promise of more , and you haven’t felt this engaged in a long while. You jump up and hug him, squeezing him tight.
Eddie hugs you back, chuckling. He runs his hands over your back without any hesitation, holding you close.
“Wow! You really like that, huh?”
“Yes. God yes. I haven’t had a session like that in a long time. Thank you!”
Before you can stop yourself you press a kiss to his cheek. He turns his head, about to speak right as you go in for another, and your lips touch. In an instant you feel heat behind it, his arms pulling you closer as he deepens the kiss. You kiss Eddie back with a quiet moan, linking your hands behind his neck.
When you part, he’s grinning at you, and your cheeks feel warm.
“Welcome to Hellfire, baby,” Eddie says.
You go in for another kiss.