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Sometimes Shuumei wishes he didn’t graduate. Well, not really, because it’s a good thing and Myaa-chan is proud of him, but still.
University classes are a pain.
His assignment this week is to read this short story and write an essay analyzing the themes. Simple enough in theory, but every time he opens the page, he can feel his eyes glazing over.
He can’t focus on it at all.
And having Miyano here in his room, also studying his own work, doesn’t actually help matters. Any time he tries to zero in on a paragraph, his eyes wander to his boyfriend, how he bites the edge of his eraser, how he tucks his bangs, so fluffy and soft, behind his ears. He could watch Miyano do absolutely nothing and be entertained for weeks.
“What’s wrong?” Miyano asks.
“Hmm? Nothing. Why?”
“You keep staring at me.”
He smiles softly. “I just like looking at you.”
Miyano blushes at that. “I see.” It’s so cute how he still gets embarrassed so easily. Suddenly, his boyfriend seems so very far away despite being right next to him.
He drapes an arm around Miyano’s stomach, pulling him in between his legs, and then resting his head on his shoulder.
“Wh-what is it?” Miyano asks.
He leans into Miyano’s back. Despite how much smaller his boyfriend is, he’s definitely not fragile.
“Myaa-chan," he whines. "This work is hard. I’m not good at reading.”
“You read the novels I lend you all the time.”
“That's different.”
“Is it? How so?”
“Because it's for you."
He watches with a little bit of satisfaction as Miyano blushes again. Works like a charm every time. Shy Miyano is one of his favorite Miyano Types, right behind Excited Miyano and Assertive Miyano. Though his favorite Miyano Type just depends on his mood because he loves everything about him.
“Is your essay due tomorrow?” Miyano asks, breaking him out of those thoughts.
“Yeah, tomorrow afternoon. Why?”
“I know I probably can’t be of much help, since I’m still in high school, but is there anything I can do?”
“You could read it to me so I don’t have to.” And realizing how lame that makes him sound, he backtracks. “Just kidding, you don’t have to-”
A soft “Okay” cuts him off. Wait…
“Huh?”
Miyano stares at him steadily. “If having me read it to you will help, I can do that.”
He doesn’t actually know if it will help him focus. He mostly said it as an excuse to hear Miyano’s voice some more..
“Don’t you have your own studying?”
“I’m basically finished for the day.” His tone is deep and serious. “I know school doesn’t always come easy to you, and you’ve already worked so hard to get to this point, so…if this is a way I can help you, then I want to.”
He…did not expect such an earnest response. It had been a flirty joke in an attempt to deflect. He really should stop underestimating Miyano. One of the main things that captured his heart 2 years ago was how insanely kind and serious he is. Of course he would take this sort of thing seriously too. He always puts his 100% in everything, even things he doesn’t wanna do, if it means helping someone.
I don’t deserve him.
“Okay,” he answers, a little choked. “If you want to.”
He sees Miyano reach an arm out to grab the book, but…he can’t quite reach.
“Um, Sasaki-senpai?” He knows what’s coming.
“Hmm?”
“I can’t reach.”
He tightens his grip. “Oh no, what a tragedy.”
“Senpai.”
He hides his goofy grin in Miyano’s collarbone, but loosens his grip, feeling cold as soon as Miyano moves away.
“It’s this packet here, right?”
“Mmhm.”
Much to his surprise and affection, Miyano actually scoots right back into Shuumei’s arms, packet in hand, which is always a win. And it serves as a reminder that he’s not overly annoying with his constant clinging. Miyano actually likes it and wants him to. It makes something warm and fluttery fill up his chest, crowding his lungs until he can’t breathe.
He wonders if dying out of too much love is a thing. What a way to go.
Miyano clears his throat and then starts to read, his voice clear and melodic. With each syllable out of Miyano’s mouth, his body slowly starts to unwind.
He relaxes into his back, letting the words wash over him.
Reading to his boyfriend in this sort of position is…a little embarrassing. But also very comforting. Despite the fact that Shuumei-san claims to run cold, he’s actually quite warm and soft.
It doesn’t take long for the weight against his back to slump, even breathing leaving goosebumps down his neck. But he powers through to the end. The reading isn’t too long. He’s done in about 10 minutes.
No response when he gets through the last sentence, only steady breathing.
Did he fall asleep? Am I that boring?
Another breath against his neck, his boyfriend’s long hair brushing against his collarbone. He’s only actually felt Shuumei-san’s hair a handful of times and he remembers being surprised at how soft it was. It was fine, probably the result of bleaching, but it didn’t feel brittle. He must take really good care of it.
He raises a hand to card through the orange locks gently.
“Why’d you stop?” Shuumei-san breathes and he jerks his hand away, blushing.
“You’re-” he clears his throat, “You’re awake?”
“Yeah, of course.” The older man grabs his hand from where it hovered over his hair, kissing the fingers gently. “Is that why you stopped?”
“Eh? Well- no, I was just finished.”
“Really? That was so quick!”
“It was like 10 minutes…”
“Time flies when I'm with you.”
He’s always wondered how it’s so easy for Shuumei-san to say things like that all the time so casually. Not that he doesn’t feel the same way of course, but he’s just not quite able to put it so bluntly all the time.
He clears his throat. “So…did it help? Me reading to you, I mean.”
A pause and then his boyfriend gives him a sweet kiss on the jawline. “I think I’ll get a good score for sure. Thanks.”
“Y-you’re welcome. I’m rooting for you.”
Shuumei was honestly a little shocked he got a good score on that essay. Sure, having Miyano read it to him was super nice, but he was so distracted by the sound of Miyano’s voice in general that he didn’t actually retain any of it. He ended up having to stay up that night and read it for himself.
But he isn't gonna mention that to Miyano today when he sees him…he doesn’t want him to feel bad.
Their little stay at home date today is at Miyano’s place.
He’s not surprised at all to see an unfamiliar BL manga on Miyano’s bed. “Ooh, is this a new one?”
“Yeah. It’s a light novel prequel to the one you borrowed from me last month.
“How was it?”
“Really interesting. A bit more explicit than the manga.”
“Makes sense. You can get away with more without pictures.”
“True. You can borrow it if you want. I’m finished with it.”
But the idea of reading alone sounds...weirdly unappealing. Having Miyano read his assignment to him last week…it had been nice. Intimate, almost.
He lays on the bed next to Miyano, flopping his head in his lap.
“What’s this all of a sudden?”
“Felt like it,” he answers, voice slightly muffled.
“I see.”
He wants Miyano to read to him again. He wonders if he would use different voices for the characters. He seems the type.
“Myaa-chan.”
“What is it?”
“Will you read that novel to me?”
“Huh? Why?”
“I like how you sound when you read. It’s nice.”
A pause. He doesn’t even have to look at his boyfriend to know he’s probably blushing up a storm. He shifts his head and takes a peek anyway and sure enough…he’s red all the way to his ears. Cute.
“Is that so?” Miyano mumbles.
“Yep. Plus, I’m tired." He rest a hand on his forehead dramatically. "University’s tough, y’know. I already had to read so much in class today. If I read any more, my eyes will break.”
Miyano rolls his eyes fondly, patting his head. “Of course. Wouldn’t want that.” He opens the novel, clearing his throat. “You’ll tell me if I’m boring you, right?”
“You could never bore me.”
Miyano mutters something that sounds vaguely like “We’ll see about that”, but he’ll let it slide this time. Being able to rest his head in his boyfriend’s lap, to be a little childish and spoiled with him, he never thought it would feel so instinctual. And nice. And the fact that Miyano’s willing to indulge his antics makes his chest feel tight.
Just like before with the assignment, he allows Miyano’s voice to wash over him, warm and calming. Shuumei’s always been a fan of music and to him, Miyano is a bit like a symphony. So many different pitches and layers to unpack no matter how many times he listens to him. It’s the way he can be very deep and serious when he wants to, but then shift into rapid fire rambles over his favorite series.
Unlike before, he actually wants to listen this time, so he immerses himself in the story, the story of two boys with a lot stacked against them, with one being immortal, and yet despite the bittersweet atmosphere, it manages to be surprisingly lighthearted.
Miyano absently cards his fingers through his hair and he lets out a loud sigh. The hand stops and when he peeks his eyes open, he sees Miyano staring down at him, brown eyes wide and curious.
“Sorry," he says. "Did I startle you?”
“A little.” Miyano's hand lightly twirls one of his strands. “Does it feel good when I do that? Play with your hair, I mean.”
He hums in approval. “It’s soothing.”
“Oh, okay. Your hair’s actually surprisingly soft.”
He raises an eyebrow. “‘Surprisingly’?”
A pause and Miyano jolts. “I didn’t mean that as an insult or anything-”
“Yeah, I figured.”
“-But I know you dye it and that can be really damaging. I was expecting it to feel more brittle like Hirano-senpai’s was that one time and-”
“Yoshikazu,” he cuts him off gently. As much as he loves hearing his boyfriend ramble, he doesn’t want him to get worked up over nothing. “It’s fine.” And then just to tease him a little, he adds on, “I’m glad you like my hair.”
Miyano flushes. “I do. It’s really nice.”
He can’t help getting a little shy at that admission, not even knowing how to respond. Miyano’s always so straightforward, so honest. It’s gonna kill him one day.
Miyano clears his throat. “Should I- um- continue?”
“Sure.”
He immediately gets swept back into the story, nimble fingers threading through his hair again. Two years ago, being in this kind of situation would’ve just been a pipe dream. He had only been pining from afar then, Miyano not even aware of his feelings. Even just being Miyano’s friend and getting to see him smile was the most he could’ve ever hoped for at that point, no matter how much he may have desperately yearned for more in the privacy of his own thoughts.
If you were to tell 17 year old Shuumei that one day he’d be lying in his adorable kouhai’s lap getting BL read to him while playing with his hair, so blissfully comfortable and desperately in love, he’d probably wonder if you were clinically insane.
The two boys, according to Miyano’s sweet voice, finally kiss, but then-
Oh, he stopped.
“Um-” Miyano starts softly. He’s covering the bottom half of his face with the book, flushing. “Maybe I should stop here.”
“Hmm? Why?”
“Well, this last scene is kinda…” he averts his eyes. “...explicit.”
Ahh, of course. Porn. He forgot about that part. But it’s not like it’s anything different than what he’s read before, right? So what’s the difference?
“That’s fine. I’m not embarrassed by that sort of thing.” Not anymore, anyway.
Miyano blushes deeper. “That wasn’t really what I was worried about.”
“What do you mean?”
“This sort of thing…I’ve never read it out loud before. I’m not sure if I really know how to.” Ahh, he’s self-conscious, then.
“Just think of it like any other scene.” Miyano bites his lip, which is…very distracting. Maybe he could just reenact that kiss scene instead. The one where who he's assuming was meant to be the uke kissed the seme while he was in the middle of reading. That could be an option. He starts to sit up in anticipation. Yeah, he’ll do that instead.
Miyano, unaware as usual of how he’s affecting him, just continues on. “Okay then. So I guess I’ll start back at the-”
Shuumei kisses him, using one hand to pry the book out of Miyano’s slack hands, closing it gently and setting it aside. Miyano, quick on the uptake, melts into it, fisting a hand in his shirt like a vice. As if Shuumei would ever go anywhere else willingly.
The needy noises Miyano makes subconsciously, how soft his cheeks are when Shuumei cups them in his hands, those are some other things he never thought he’d get the chance to discover outside of his vivid imagination. He’ll be sure to never take that for granted.
He reluctantly has to break away to breathe, resting his forehead against Miyano’s. Miyano’s eyes, normally so warm and open like a golden sunset, are dark now, a color he’s been seeing more and more frequently as time has gone on. They’re beautiful in a completely different way. Sexy, too.
“So, are we done reading now?” Miyano asks pleasantly, something heavier and unspoken underneath the surface.
“Yep!” He chirps in the same tone.
Miyano shifts closer, the already minimal space between them reduced to nothing, not breaking eye contact even once. It’s mesmerizing.
Fuck.
He doesn’t move a single inch, just letting his boyfriend take the lead however he sees fit. He’s learned that good things happen to those who wait, especially when Miyano’s involved.
He’s proven right when Miyano dives back in to kiss him again.