Work Text:
“I hereby call the first meeting of the Avengers Baked Goods Gifting Committee to order!”
“Tony... this isn’t a committee, or actually even a meeting. We’re having breakfast, last I checked?”
"What, did they not have multitasking in the forties?" Tony smirked over his coffee at the protesting Steve.
Bruce looked up from his granola. "Baked goods? Who are we gifting with baked goods?"
Tony rolled his eyes in what was clearly supposed to be an eloquent fashion. "Hey, Legolas, who do we know who likes a baked good now and then who might be stuck with med-wing food right about now?"
Clint smiled wryly. "Well, what he really wants is endless free trade coffee, but they've restricted the amount he can have per day. But baked goods are always good, especially cupcakes."
If he hadn't felt everyone staring at him before, they were now, and Clint lifted an eyebrow at them in challenge.
"Nah, I'm sorry," Tony shook his head vehemently, "Agent Cuppycakes just doesn't have that ring of sheer terror that Agent Bear Claw does."
Steve laughed, and raised his hand.
"Hmm, Steve... Captain Cuppycakes... now that's a name I could go with. No? Ok, no, christ don't look like that, wounded super soldier face is too much for me at this hour of the morning!" Tony ducked as Steve went to bop him on the back of the head.
"As I was about to say,” Steve sighed, “what about pie? It can be warmed up, and has got to be, at least in my opinion, one of the more comforting foods." Steve looked so earnest that the whole room seriously considered it for a moment.
"While I'm sure Agent Fanboy wouldn't mind eating your pie, Cap... OW, Hawkeye that was completely uncalled for, it's called a /joke/... it's kind of messy and is better with ice cream, which adds a whole other layer of discussion to the matter."
The entirety of the Avengers paused again, pondering.
Banner put down his spoon. "How about muffins? Maybe blueberry or something with lots of antioxidants?"
Tony snorted. "Remind me to introduce you to this whole world of delicious food that actually tastes good and is really bad for you, ok Banner?"
Bruce shrugged as Thor piped up from where he'd been laboriously working to text Jane. "Most noble Hawk, would the Son of Coul think highly of a selection of that most wonderful treat, the Midgardian delicacy that is called Poptarts?"
"Thor... just no," Tony managed between laughs.
"Bagels? He does seem to like those," suggested the previously silent Natasha, looking disinterested as usual despite the spark of humor Clint could see in her eyes.
"Things with holes, yeah he's fond of those, at least, one assumes," Tony ducked again, too late this time.
"Like I said, he really has a weakness for high-end cupcakes..." Clint tried, having thrown an apple at Tony's head that bounced off after hitting his forehead bullseye. "He is faintly obsessed with Cupcake Wars, but you all? Do not know that. On threat of waking up pinned to your bed with possibly explosive arrows."
Steve and Thor looked so confused that even Tony couldn't help but be nice. "It's a tv show, guys. A... talent competition. For bakers. Not an actual war. Well, most of the time, anyway."
"I love Midgardian traditions! A war over cupcake supremacy!" Thor boomed, his fist landing on on the counter in such a way as to nearly send Tony’s coffee flying.
~~~
Only Agent Phil Coulson could pack a blank stare with so much emotion that it caused a whole row of superheroes to take a step back from his hospital bed.
"Do I even want to know?" he asked, glancing from one member of the Avengers to another.
"Spoils of war for you, Son of Coul!"
"...."
Steve held out the platter of cupcakes, each one decorated distinctively. "I won," he stated sheepishly, pointing to one with a certain circular design in red, white and blue, "Mostly I think cause Clint voted for mine, too, he said he knew you'd like it."
Phil looked up at Clint, who he knew was great at cooking steaks... but not so amazing when it came to baking. A purple cupcake in the back had what looked like a haphazard bird on it and his lips quirked up in a smile. "Thank you, all of you. But I have to ask, why the bags of bagels and muffins?"
Clint bent his head to press a kiss against Phil's temple. "There are Poptarts and bear claws, too. And a pie. You probably don't want to know."
"Agreed." Phil almost laughed.