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If there was something Wukong was most confident about, it was his control over who and what he chooses to have around him. Nothing is consistent in the life of a hero, danger and surprise turns were constantly heading his way, yet he had always been careful about his inner circle and who gets to be part of his everyday life, after all, if Wukong didn’t put a firm hold on a little piece of the world and call it his to always get back to, The Monkey King would forget the meaning of the word home.
Yet.
The golden fire in Wukong’s eyes shimmered in a soft, gentle hue, the knot between his eyebrows eased at the sight of his student excitedly talking, the big bowl of noodles in his hands shook side to side, spilling broth on the green grass of Flower Fruit Mountain. The hyperactive kid he was, MK never took notice of the mess he left behind, too occupied with whatever tasks he had at hand, and to be honest, Wukong wasn’t that tidy of a monkey either, he never paid attention to such details. Until he met MK.
The Monkey King’s hand was rough, a warrior of thousands of years got to have his body hardened and battle scars printed, it clashed with the smooth, squishy skin of MK tauntingly under his eyes as he took the kid’s jaw between his fingers, wiping the food stains from the corners of his mouth with the tip of his sleeve.
MK was home. Wukong knew that the moment he laid his eyes on him.
Thousands, thousands, and thousands more of years separated the two, Wukong’s battles reshaped him, and tainted him with countless souls released with his own hands, he saw beyond what the few years MK’s life allowed him to see through. Yet he knew it right away, this kid’s place was here to grow in front of his eyes.
“But nooooo, Mei had to just go through that demon like he was nothing, ‘who dares to touch an inch of my friend?’ she said, she was pissed I tell ya haha”
The kid continued to talk, he never stopped even with his jaw held between Wukong’s clawed hands. Wukong’s love and care felt natural to him, such as how the sun goes up and down.
In this inconsistent, unstable, and uncontrollable life of his, The Monkey King knew that MK was one of the exceptions, a human that he couldn’t bear the thought of losing.
“She kinda reminds me of you” his voice diminished to what resembles a whisper, MK’s fond eyes were pointed at Macaque, but he wasn’t looking at him. “You guys act like you’re chill, but when it comes to what’s important to you, it’s the end for everybody around”.
Here at the cliff overlooking the city were the three, the sun was colored many reds and purples, huge, and mighty between the clouds. With MK sitting between them the two monkeys’ figure appeared sinister and intimidating compared to his little frame and tiny muscles, but MK’s stories never stopped, and passion always illuminated his face, there was no place for fear, even with him in the middle of two of the most dangerous warriors in history.
Macaque’s black fur shined white and appeared almost transparent faced with sunlight. It defined his sharp features, revealing his scars line by line.
Wukong believed that he at least had control over who and what he chose to be around, that, until he met MK.
Macaque was never a home for Wukong, even though, he came to be a constant presence, his shadows lingered at the corner of the eye whenever MK was in sight.
Fangs at display, a hint of laughter. Saying that Macaque’s golden eyes twinkled would be an exaggeration, yet still, The Monkey King couldn’t find a better description.
“For you to compare me with one of your friends, bud, should I say I’m touched?” Macaque’s eyes casually glanced at Wukong as he took a sip from his bowl of noodles, and maybe because of his integrated distaste and hate for the black monkey, The Monkey King couldn’t translate this as anything other than provocation.
There was a reason why Wukong tended to isolate himself from people. The Monkey King treasured inner peace, and though active and loud his student may be, his mere presence put Wukong’s soul on a quiet, safe ground. The same couldn’t be said about Macaque, in fact, it was the complete opposite.
MK playfully pushed Macaque’s shoulder, “I can see the disgust right through your eyes, you idiot”. Macaque only grinned in response.
After gulping a mouthful of noodles with chopsticks held childishly by all five fingers, he pointed it at the shadow monkey, “you hate to associate yourself with other beings” he licked his lips before continuing, “sometimes I even doubt the fact that you’re a monkey”.
Macaque rested his bowl on the grass beside him, and it didn’t take long for the residents of Flower Fruit Mountain to take the food for themselves. None of them cared as the black monkey continued the conversation “is this one of the Big Brained MK’s observations I heard about?”, teasing light danced in his face, but The Monkie Kid didn’t see it, he proudly nodded his head, happy about his big brain getting acknowledged, he put the noodle bowl aside for the other monkeys to take as well, “Yup! No matter how much you hate to admit it, you’re still no different from us”.
MK’s back leaned on the big, sturdy chest behind him, and Monkey King gladly took him between his arms, his long fingers sneaked through the kid’s black hair on instinct, massaging his scalp.
The Monkie Kid played with the golden tail around his stomach as he continued “you call it hate, but the truth is that you’re scared of people”.
For Wukong, MK’s black eyes were always honest and straightforward, it never told of hidden depths or secret thoughts, but at that moment when he watched his student’s head from above, face concealed and expressions obscure, it felt different, he was sure the eyes Macaque was viewing weren’t what the kid would use to face his monkey idol.
Macaque didn’t lose that obnoxious playful expression of his, he rested his hand on the ground behind him and leaned his weight on it, legs crossed and body fully facing the king and kid duo, he raised his thick eyebrow “no offence bud, but you seem to be saying that from experience, aren’t you just projecting yourself onto me?”.
It was only then that Wukong noticed MK’s clenched fist, “I’m saying that because I met you”, the kid’s voice raised, and Wukong realized the kid was trying to gain strength from the fact Monkey King was there with him, his playful attitude until now was only a pretence. The kid was preparing himself for this talk.
“I- “, firmly gripping the furred tail, MK managed not to break eye contact with Macaque, who, in spite of how serious MK tried to express his speech as, looked relaxed, as if he was talking with a child.
MK was no child. He was The Monkey King’s successor.
“I was scared of you” for MK, admitting something like this to someone he considered close wasn’t easy, it felt like a sin, a despicable act, but even when Macaque turned to be an ally, one couldn’t erase their doubts overnight, no matter how much you say that you trust, you love and you care, if it was someone who brought you to the abyss of doubt and fear before, you can’t help but think they will do this again.
Beside the colorful and awesome things MK learned from his journey with The Monkey King, he was also exposed to the awful side of the world, deception in its many disgusting forms was part of it. Pretending like the black monkey was included in his cherished group and nothing of the harm he had done affected him was deception, MK only deceived himself by doing that.
The Monkie Kid hated his complicated feelings, why couldn’t it be simple like, Macaque was helping the Lady Bone Demon, and now he’s a friend and is helping them, the end? Why wasn’t he able to purely think of Macaque as a friend like he did with Mei and Red Son?
Monkey King’s claws were hard on his head, but it didn’t hurt, he couldn’t see his expression, yet all the signs of him being there with him were here, the scent of peaches, the warmth of his body, the fuzzy feeling in MK’s heart that he was protected and loved were enough.
Facing the bad side of yourself becomes easier with the people you love. That was also something he learned from his recent adventures.
“I can always say that I hate you and put an effort for us to never stand on the same ground, this would perfectly work with how I feel”.
It was chilly, and the cold breeze didn’t help with the shiver that ran under MK’s skin, but the two monkeys didn’t appear as affected as he did. Trivial things like this reminded MK of how different he was from his mentors.
The red scarf around Macaque’s neck was gone and it appeared on MK instead.
Yet when it comes to the heart, they were all the same.
A simple change as a visible neck made Macaque feel much, much closer and exposed to MK, the black fur appeared rough and coarse to the touch, his scars spoke of a true warrior, “and why didn’t you do that?” he asked while his tail swayed, no one could tell if it was wind’s play or his body expressing its language.
Was it allowed to call it fondness? That thing seeping through the warrior’s voice…
“Because that exactly what fear is, you shouldn’t treat it with avoidance”, the scarf was warm around MK’s neck, its smoothness against his skin brought tranquillity to MK’s heart, and it smelled like home. For a moment, the kid wondered, what was so complicated about Macaque that he didn’t want to face the monkey before?
“No matter how much you try to control what can and can’t appear in your life, you are bound to fail, running from your fear isn’t the answer”.
At the gradual darkening of the sky, two pairs of demonic eyes stood out, they glowed like fireflies.
“Am I right, Monkey King?”
“Huh?”
Were those words pointed at him? Wukong couldn’t tell as the sudden turn of MK’s body in his grasp towards him startled the monkey like nothing else, having that innocent smile aimed at his face only aggravated the deepest part of The Monkey King’s heart, it was triggered by his own student’s words.
But no matter how stuffy Wukong felt inside, it didn’t stop his hand from messing with his kid’s hair, “you know you are, kid”. Full teeth visible, when Wukong grinned, he didn’t look different from Macaque.
“Betrayal isn’t something you wish to go through, not knowing what a person might think about you is scary, I bet separating yourself from others felt much easier”, with the kid giving the shadow monkey his attention again, MK in his hands felt much at ease, more relaxed and less guarded, as if he had solved the hardest puzzle.
“Exactly like how I once wished for us to not cross paths again” more than Macaque, admitting harsh feelings such as this, and telling them word by word in front of the targeted person was scarier, MK couldn’t imagine he would say something like this with ease. But because he knew Macaque felt the same, it wasn’t scary anymore.
Unknown to him, Wukong felt the same too.
It was more accurate to describe his hate for Macaque as fear. Wukong didn’t want to face the emotions the black monkey’s appearance brought back, he chose to run away from what connected them both rather than fixing it. Because fixing it meant acknowledging the existence of Wukong’s ugly side.
Wukong didn’t want to admit that he too, as The Great Sage Equal to Heaven, made mistakes. It was easier to blame his reluctance against accepting Macaque part of MK’s life as mere dislike of the demon.
“But now I admit that was cowardice” chuckling to himself, MK raised from Monkey King’s embrace and leaned towards Macaque, the dark red scarf didn’t cover his huge, victorious grin as he peeked at the demon’s tranquil expression, as if challenging, “and warriors aren’t cowards, right?”.
A demon’s laughter was always a mystery, because you can’t tell whether it was mocking or innocent, not with their mischievous tone of voices and harsh facial features. Macaque’s was like that, it rang through both student and mentor’s ears like a bell, as if it were a forever sound, hard to forget.
MK’s face lit up for some reason, while Wukong looked in wonder.
This time it was easy to say that Macaque’s eyes twinkled as he looked at MK, the wrinkles around them deepened. “Heh, sometimes they are, kid”. Macaque’s eyes fell on Wukong again as he pulled MK to his chest, his arms surrounded him, trying to warm him up with his thick clothes. How did it look so natural to have a kid under a demon’s grasp? Wukong wondered.
“MK” Macaque whispered, MK’s face was buried on him, yet he didn’t move to change their position, “do I scare you now?”
No sound could be heard as MK only shook his head, no, you aren’t scary anymore.
“You don’t scare me too”
That was an acknowledgement. And Wukong knew that as much as MK was home for him, MK was also a home for Macaque.
Macaque’s black fur mixed well with MK’s hair as he caressed his head, his motions weren’t gentle, but it didn’t lack love. Perhaps because Macaque knew what MK just told him wasn’t an easy thing to get out of his heart, he didn’t want to deny what was said about him, after all...
“I do feel scared about having people getting close”
His eyes on Wukong, the demon monkey for once felt he’s doing better. At least he wouldn’t stay silent and let his kid do the brave work alone. “I can be a clingy bastard, y’know?”. One reason for his strong refusal of the thought of indulging himself in people and what they bring of relationships was that he couldn’t bear the idea of letting them go when it’s time to.
Macaque sometimes wondered, was it his fault Wukong left?
“Obsessed, even”, he continued, it felt like he was scolding himself more than confessing to MK, “a menace who, if you gave him a bit of your attention, would clutch on it until he gets abandoned”.
“Is this truly how you see yourself?” MK turned his body for his back to rest against the demon’s chest, he raised his head to see him, Macaque’s face was upside down from MK’s point of view. “Or is it your attempt at explaining why you were wronged?”.
Ah… words like this coming from MK always reminded Macaque that he was nearing the end of his teenage years. Much younger than him yet still able to pinpoint what was between the lines.
The demon monkey’s big hand covered MK’s eyes, maybe he was a coward after all, “I don’t know”, he simply replied. His eyes no longer carried the strength to meet MK’s nor Wukong’s.
“I can get clingy too!” MK held Macaque’s hand but didn’t remove it. Covering his eyes wasn’t enough to hide how his face relaxed.
The sun could no longer be seen, they weren’t in complete darkness as the stars scattered through the sky. While the residents of Flower Fruit Mountain prepared to sleep, the three could still be seen in that place, their conversation still ongoing.
Despite it getting colder, MK only felt warmth surrounding him, here on top of this mountain with his monkeys, he knew he was living a precious moment.
“Sometimes I would come to Pigsy or Mei to look for cuddles, even in the middle of the night hehe”
Macaque's arms, muscular and trained to kill, tightened their hold around MK, “like this?” mischief dripped from his voice, and MK couldn’t help but laugh. “Almost! I’m sorry to tell you my clinginess is close to obsession; a few seconds of cuddles aren’t enough”.
“Then take all the cuddles you need, I have plenty”
What was in front of Wukong was a picture of what he wasn’t willing to accept, and so he thought, maybe, maybe what was disturbing his inner peace wasn’t Macaque, but Wukong himself.
Between his kid and the demon, Wukong was the most coward.
“I’m scared too”, he said, with an almost inaudible voice.
So why did he want to face his deepest parts only now, and in front of these two?
His back arched, its bulging muscles sharply contrasted with his defeated appearance. He didn’t notice the two growing quite as he continued, “inside me there is so much of what I don’t want to see”
“So much of what can be the complete opposite of the meaning of my titles”.
Thoughts of having Macaque invading his inner circle and looking through his heart no longer were of major influence on him. In front of his kid and the black demon, The Monkey King felt like it was appropriate to unwind.
“It’s not that I hate Macaque, I hate myself”
The Monkey King didn’t notice the smiles creeping through his family’s faces as he started to talk.
The End.