Chapter Text
You weren’t quite sure what to expect, really, when Dustin came bounding up to you with his mouth firing on all cylinders. Something about Hellfire and ‘Can’t miss, he needs help!’ and about five other things all at once.
You huffed a small breath, hiking your bag up higher on your back before resting your hand on your hip. “Alright Dustin, I’m gonna need you to take a deep breath-” You paused to bring your hands up to your diaphragm, raising them while you inhaled, lowering when you exhaled, “And repeat that, but slower this time.”
You’d be a little more concerned for the kid if you didn’t already have an idea of what he was getting on about. Your suspicions were only confirmed when big eyes looked up at you and out came, “I can’t make it to Hellfire club this week and I can’t find anyone to swap in for me.”
“Dustin, no.” You simply said before turning to continue the walk to your house.
“Oh come on! I know you can play, I’ve seen you play with your friends, why not?!”
The tips of your ears burned when Dustin mentioned that disaster. You’ve babysat Dustin on occasion, usually when Steve was unavailable or if Mrs.Henderson had an emergency but you’d been around Dustin long enough that the two of you were pretty friendly so it was nothing when his mom gave you a call and asked if he could spend the night. It should have been nothing but your friend had planned a DnD session for tonight and you couldn’t cancel at the last minute. It was hard to get everyone together when your party all lived in different towns. The group of you had begun playing together in middle school, but before freshman year your parents decided to up and move your little family to Hawkins and after that having campaigns became a lot more complicated but you all made it work when the planets aligned. You already had friends coming over but you felt awful at the idea of turning Mrs.Henderson just for a game, so you bit the bullet and agreed to take Dustin for the night.
Long story short, Dustin wandered downstairs later that night to ask you a question to see you and your friends gathered around your table, each of you speaking in character, tossing dice and spitting your strategy out for your battle. That was a pretty hard fight, when you think about it. You nearly lost two party members that night, but that’s besides the point. Dungeons and Dragons was a hobby that you preferred to keep to you and your select circle. Not that you were ashamed, embarrassed? Oh yeah, but never ashamed of it but you’ve learned it’s just easier to keep your fantasy and your reality separate.
“It’ll be no different than playing with your friends, (Y/N)”
“Yes it will be. I don’t know any of them,”
“You know Mike, and Erica’s filling in for Lucas again but you know her too. You know I’d do the same for you too.” Dustin frowned when he heard you grumble something like ‘No you wouldn’t cause I wouldn’t have joined the stupid club’
“Let it go dude, I’m not going to your club for you. You know how I feel about these kinds of things getting out. I don’t want any of my friends finding out that I do stuff like that, I’d never hear the end of it,”
“You’re terrified you’re gonna get outcasted because of a game.” Dustin said as if he came to a sudden realization before his face suddenly went flat giving away that he’d caught on long ago. “I don’t understand why it matters so much if anyone sees you in Hellfire, it’s not you’re going to be parading around in the tee shirt and screaming about dwarves and shit at lunch. Just one night and then I promise I won’t ask for anything like this again.
“You’re right, you don’t understand. I’ve spent the last four years keeping up a front to keep everyone happy. I’m in journalism, theater but do you know what a nightmare it would be if it got out that I was going to something like Hellfire. I can’t risk that, I’ve worked too hard to risk that” When did it become so hard to breathe? You couldn’t remember when your chest started to burn and your vision started to blur but she simply kept walking, nearly breaking out into a jog.
Dustin finally settled in step next to you, hands in his pockets, wracking his brain for any kind of info he could use against you. He’d never understand why you were so embarrassed of playing with new people, sure you get into it a bit much but that’s pretty much a big part of it. He wanted to show you that you were worrying for nothing. “If I pay you, will you do it?”
That got you to stop as you looked down at the boy with an eyebrow raised, “Dustin, come on” You huffed with a roll of your eyes. “Would you just let it go?”
You locked eyes with Dustin and you could just tell by the look on his face that he in fact was not going to stop. You had to give him credit, he’s persistent but you feel a headache coming on already. “One night only right?” Your question was answered by a shit eating grin and an eager nod.
“It’s right after the last bell, Mike and Erica will take you to the club room so you won’t have to worry about getti-”
“Dustin, I’ve been at that school for four years, I don’t think I’m gonna end up lost,” You hummed, fighting the urge to roll your eyes again.
Words having been ignored you continued down the sidewalk, halfway listening to Dustin’s rambling of what you need to do before club, where they were in their campaign and a familiar name. Eddie.
You’ve seen Eddie around, heard his name mentioned, but you didn’t know much about him. Sure you knew what people said about him but you’ve never talked to him to find out for yourself. He was peculiar though, you could definitely say that. Hawkins High’s resident super-senior metalhead. The guy stuck out like a sore thumb and it seemed like he liked it that way. There was nothing personal between the two of you so you went about your normal business, never paying him any mind.
Not to mention hanging out with him would be, for lack of a better term, social suicide and you were already fighting for your life as it was so you didn’t need something like getting caught up with Eddie the Freak to drag you down even further. That was cold, you knew it was but you also cared a great deal for appearances- more so you just wanted to make it through Senior year without any issues- so it was how it had to be.
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There was no reason you should be so anxious about this but as you walked down the hallway flanked by Mike and Erica on each side, well you felt like your heart was going to burst out of your chest. Captured in a death grip was your journal and a binder filled to the brim with messy papers. It was no understatement to say you took the game with an unrealistic standard of seriousness. You had every aspect of your character written to a tee, every trait was either fully explored through writing or drawing. It was kind of ironic for another nerd to be worried about getting bullied by a group of nerds but the last thing you wanted to deal with was getting shit for how you prepare.
“Dustin warned you about everything, right?”
Mike’s voice snapped you out of your daze, angling your gaze down at the freshman. “Geez Mike, you make it sound like I’m walking into a real dungeon,” You giggled nervously
“Well Eddie can get kinda intense, he can be… a lot if you’ve never played with him before.”
“He’s nothing” Erica joined in with a roll of her eyes, “The most he’s gonna do is try to intimidate you since you’re new” You could hear there was a hint of irritation in her voice.
“Are you really still holding a grudge about that?”
“A grudge about what?” You questioned, your nerves seconds away from fraying even more than they already were.
“When Erica played for the first time Eddie kinda went off a tangent, really just teasing but-”
“He questioned my skill and my character, rule number one is to never question any character” Erica huffed, sticking her nose in the air.
Mike just shook his head before moving on. “You’ve got nothing to worry about.”
You weren’t so sure about that. Any who it was too late to chicken out now seeing as finally the three of you had come upon the door to the dreaded club room. Maybe you really were making a big deal out of nothing. This was a highschool club, and although you’ve heard snippets from Dustin about it you just had to keep telling yourself that it wasn’t that serious. It’s just one session, you’d survive.
Yeah, the optimism fled your body as you followed the children into the room. Your body was filled with a mix of renewed anxiety and an odd sense of awe as you took in the set up. Set up in the middle of the room was what you assumed would be the player table- Seriously, how hard was it to miss? You rolled your eyes at your own thoughts.
The table was already piled with papers and books, stray dice and it looked like a hurricane had already swept through the room. The shades were drawn tightly, leaving the only form of light to come from the candles that were flickering steadily. You knew you must have looked like an idiot as you drifted around the room just taking everything in but you couldn’t help it. The atmosphere was one of the most important things when planning a campaign and although you were out of your comfort zone it did satisfy you to see the attention to detail.
Diana was similar in a way. Your best friend since diapers, and your DM for your most recent campaign. Although sessions were typically held at your house due to spacing issues, she was always the one to show up hours early to ensure that you’d set up correctly. Your party had character place settings, little trinkets that encompassed each character's personality, complete with mini chalices and drinking mugs that you’d had a hell of time trying to get away with sculpting in art class. It was never the cleanest or the neatest but when you played it was as if you had stepped foot straight into another reality. A welcomed distraction from the monotony of day to day life.
You hadn’t realized you’d zoned out whilst staring at a candle until a hand found its way to rest on your shoulder and you nearly jumped out of your skin with an ear splitting shriek.
You whipped around wide-eyed with your hand clutched to your chest and to put it dramatically you felt like you were fighting for your life as a series of laughs rang out around you. Well, you’re so glad everyone could get their kicks at your terror. Well everyone except for the guy standing in front of you. Instead all he had to offer you was an impassive stare. It was obvious you were uncomfortable already but his stare did not waver as his head tilted to the side, curly tresses of hair falling in the process.
“(Y/N) (L/N)?” He finally spoke.
You couldn’t help the shiver than ran up your spine at the way he said your name, face burning red in embarrassment. When did he even learn your name?
“So Dustin chose you, hm? Are you sure he made the right choice?” oh, ow, okay that one stung. You cast a sidelong glance at Mike, searching for any bit of compassion but as always when putting your faith into a 14 year old you often get let down. Instead your eyes flickered back to Eddie who now looked- was that a smirk? Of course, leave it to him to get a kick out of this too. “Come on princess, use those words of yours, yeah? So, what are we dealing with here? You actually got a character or are you here to sit still and look pretty?”
Taken aback by his words, you kind of just gaped at him. There’s no way, he’s actually gonna pull this song and dance? Now you were starting to see what Erica was talking about, this little game was starting to get on your nerves. “Yeah, actually I do” You responded, flipping through your binder
“Well we’d love to hear- huh?” A small stack of papers were thrusted into Eddie’s hands and he stared down at them.
“My character sheets, take it or leave it. I don’t care” Your head was turned as he took the papers. This was it, you were going to get torn to shreds in front of everyone. You could feel it, you’d never be able to come back from this. How could you ever dream of creating another character if one got ripped apart? Telling a player that a character they created sucks is a low blow, especially with how important development is throughout a game. Maybe you were a bit too sensitive about the subject, but to you each of your characters was like an extension of yourself so you were wary of most criticism.
“Hellooo, earth to (Y/N)!” Papers whirled back in front of your face to pull you out of your head. “You hear me? I said go ahead and sit down,” He repeated in an oddly soft tone.
“Uh, oh. Oh, okay” You quickly gathered your things and hurried to take the empty seat next to Mike, mind racing almost as fast as your heart. You didn’t have much time to compose yourself before Eddie slammed his hands at the head of the table, slowly falling to seat himself. Oh, here we go.
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What was a rocky start turned out to be a surprisingly enjoyable session. You had to admit you were a little slow on the uptake as you were gauging where they all were progress wise but once the session took off it was surprisingly easy to fall right into step with everyone, almost like playing with old friends. Well maybe not quite that far yet but no one tried to crucify you for any bad decisions so it went smoothly as far as you cared. You had to admit that the most interesting part of the game itself was Eddie.
It probably sounded odd, but you refused to admit to just how long you’d spent watching him. He was captivating really, the passion in his voice while he narrated their party’s situation. The way he threw himself into every npc he played as, watching him was like watching a miniature production and he was always quick to jump out of his seat when he was deep enough into the game. It was nice to get to see a side to Eddie ‘The Freak’ Munson. The side of him that was just a big ol’ nerd.
You’d be lying if you didn’t say you were convinced he was harmless. Whether he was a good figure to have around a bunch of freshman- well really that was none of your business but nonetheless, from what you just saw was a far cry from the rumors that fly around.
“Hey (Y/N)? You’re driving me home right?”
“Hm?” You hummed, looking up from your notes. The session had ended moments earlier and you were just writing down some of the key points of the night. Even if you were a one-time fill in it would still be nice to have the notes to read back on later. “Oh, yeah. Let me just get packed up real quick and we can head out, alright?”
Mike seemed satisfied with your answer and ran off to bullshit with the other club members while you got sorted. You regretted leaving your bag in your locker as you attempted to cram everything back into your well worn binder, honestly it was a miracle the thing hadn’t busted on you yet but its days were numbered.
Footsteps caught your attention and you looked up in time to catch Eddie taking a seat on the table next to you. “You know your way around the game, huh? You weren’t too bad out there.” If you didn’t know any better you’d dare to say you saw a little spark of something in those brown eyes of his. “I didn’t know you could play?”
Hands braced out to grab your notebook and bail, you slowly lowered them to rest in your lap to play absentmindedly with one of your bracelets. “I’ve been playing for around six years now so I’m hardly new to it. I just don’t like to broadcast about it, ya know?”
“Why not? What’s wrong with broadcasting?” The look on Eddie’s face nearly killed you. A far cry from how he first appeared when he greeted you, the Eddie in front of you now was nothing but warm brown eyes and a half crooked smile. He looked at you as if expecting an answer and when he received none he continued, “I’m a firm believer that life gets a lot better when you stop thinking about other people. Everyone does their own thing, the only difference is that there’s always gonna be assholes around so why should you care what people think.
“Well I do care about what people think. My entire future is riding on what people think about me”
Eddie only pursed his lips, letting out a whistle of a laugh. “Well sweetheart, you’re never going to get anywhere obsessing about your image with fake friends out there that you don’t care about and probably don’t even care about you. You’re not gonna do anything until you stop caring. So stop.”
Real rich. Really easy for him to say when it was obvious that he never gave a damn what anyone thought to begin with. You’d love to do the same, you’d love nothing more than to be able to live how you wanted without fear of ridicule but that just wasn’t you. You were the girl next door, you babysat, you got good grades and you stayed out of trouble. You had appearances to keep up and so if you happened to get invested in a silly little game then you kept it behind closed doors. Everything you did fit into the norm, the way you dressed, the music you listened to. Sure it sounded bleak but you were a follower at heart and you were comfortable with that. Life was all a big act and you were the star, you ought to be an expert by now having played the part your whole life.
So no, you couldn’t just stop. You stared incredulously at the long haired boy before shaking your head and standing while gathering your things. “Well Eddie Munson, I think that’s a lot easier said than done. If I could, I would have. Trust me.” You spoke sharply while strutting past him to get Mike, said boy looking at you with confusion painted clearly on his face. His eyes flickered back in forth between Eddie and the obviously pissed off girl storming towards the door, hustling to chase after her.
“Well when you finally decide to do something for yourself, you know where to find me, princess!” Eddie cupped his hands around his mouth to make sure you’d hear.
“Fuck off Munson!”
Eddie huffed a laugh leaning back to tilt his head towards Gareth and Jeff, “I think that went well, don’t you?”