Chapter Text
Summer knew no mercy, she was cruel and relentless like some divine goddess who had fallen from grace. The heat, her blaring rage. The cicadas' song was reminiscent of the angels’ trumpets after the seventh seal broke, releasing the world into a fiery chaos. Summer knew no mercy, she was judgement. She was the end. Maybe Yuri was getting his mythology mixed up, but moral of the story, Yuri really fucking hated summer.
As I’ve mentioned, it was summer. Four idiots were riding in a mighty carriage, said carriage being some dilapidated old jalopy with a broken AC. And the four idiots were a part of a crime gang, a well feared one at that. They had decided to go to a small countryside village for a summer trip, and it was in the middle of, as Hapi put it, “fuckall nowhere.” Yuri wasn’t pleased, but everyone else was so excited to go somewhere that admittedly, the cheer spread to him as well. Until he was 30 minutes into a 6 hour road trip with no AC and a hot car that was nearly baking him alive. The scenery was dull and boring, with the occasional gas station that reeked of despair, the workers like souls bound to haunt the hollow counters where you check out. The rolling hills were pretty on occasion, with everyone rushing to spy cows outside the windows. If they were lucky, they’d see horses. Or trees. But other than that, it was just an endless stretch of beige and green grass.
“Balthus, can you please stop singing? It’s giving me a headache.” Yuri groaned from the passenger's seat, his fingers pinching the bridge of his nose.
“But it’s Britney Spears! How can you not sing along?”
“Can I queue something?” Hapi was already reaching for Balthus’ phone from the back seat.
“Not if it’s your weird heavy metal Mongolian throat singing fusion stuff.”
“No, no. I wanted to play something to piss off little Yuri-bird even more.” Yuri was at his limit. Past his limit, even.
“Oh, Panic at the Disco.”
“Nope.”
“Taylor Swift?”
“Getting warmer.”
“Katy Perry?” Balthus kept up the guessing game. But suddenly, the song changed. And the car went silent, (although Constance was already fast asleep) but just for a moment. Then, Yuri absolutely lost it. He turned around, now facing Hapi who began cackling in the back seat.
“Are you FUCKING kidding me? I have to get out of this car. I will fucking jump out of a moving vehicle so help me Sothis. I can’t do this, I should never have come.” Constance awoke at the vehement yelling, stuck in her sunlight-induced depressive haze.
“Just what is happening?” she grumbled.
“Little Yuri-bird got rickrolled.” Hapi nudged Constance, who sat next to her. Balthus was at the wheel laughing.
“Ah, such joyful laughter. Such a shame I cannot partake in such activities!”
“Yeah, yeah, Coco. I heard the town we’re going to has lots of trees and shade, so you’ll be good.” Hapi put Constance's hand in her own, and intertwined their fingers as she kept Yuri from wrestling Balthus’ phone away from her.
The rest of the car ride went well, pretty much like what had just played out. Constance fast asleep the entire time, Hapi and Balthus playing road trip games, and Yuri finally calming down and joining in whatever mundane conversation, or game, was happening. Sometimes, they would stop at a random attraction, seeing Fodland’s biggest rubber band ball, or Yuri wanting to check out a sketchy roadside sword shop. Constance was even able to lighten up a little. None of them would ever, ever admit it, but all of them enjoyed each other's presence. Family– they were family. Before they knew it, the sun dipped into the horizon, the sky gleaming in a soft, golden haze. Everyone but Balthus was now sleeping quietly. Their bodies somehow simultaneously antsy to get out of the car and tired from a long, hot day. Mind you, the only AC they had was when they stopped to go into a gas station or to gawk around. Balthus rolled down a window, feeling the cool night air on his long mane. The rolling hills soon turned into scattered forests and small trailer homes, and then, a town.
“WE’RE HERE!” Balthus bellowed with excitement.
“Good Gods! You could have said that a little quieter!”
“Seriously, B!”
“Oh dear, it seems we all fell asleep. I should have never awoken from my slumber…”
“Yeah, yeah, Constance. This place is awfully small.” Yuri looked out the window, hoping to see anything that stood out to him. Nothing did, really. Balthus swiveled off the main highway, into roads that seemed to get smaller and smaller. “Hey, you sure the motel is this way?”
“Nope! Going to the fishin’ shop! Know a guy there, best prices in town. Told ya I’d take you guys on a fishing trip, right?”
“It’s almost 9pm, Balthus.”
“Gotta get up early! Something about the bird and the worm, yeah?”
“My point is that I doubt they’ll be open.” Yuri could only sigh.
“Yeah, why can’t we just go through a drive thru and then hit the hay? Call it quits for the day.” Hapi chimed in from the back seat.
“But surely we must catch them before they close!” Constance was back to her perky self, and apparently on Balthus’ side. “The worm simply must catch the bird!”
“Constance, I’m not sure how the saying goes.” Yuri sighed, yet again, as Balthus at last, reached their destination. It was an old, worn shack on the side of the lake. Aimless lumber was scattered around, and the stars shone brighter than anything Yuri had ever seen. The stars that, according to him, revolved around the earth. You could hardly make out the sign that sat above the shacks’ porch, the buzzing lanterns’ light sat below.
Eisner Tackle & Bait
“Interesting.” Yuri thought to himself.