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It was monsoon season on Bygone Island, and no one was enjoying it. The main characters— ahem, Team Sonic were all hanging out in Amy’s tastefully decorated house. Knuckles didn’t have a house, Sonic didn’t have a door, Tail’s workshop was covered in soot from his latest experiment, and Sticks didn’t trust people, so Amy’s house it was. Tails was cowering from lightning as Knuckles tried to get him to un-cower by telling bad jokes. Sticks was sorting out the various loot from her latest forage as Amy read by the fireplace. Sonic was busy on his Nontendi Swap, trying fruitlessly to finally kill the Invincible, Fearless, Sensual, Mysterious, Enchanting, Vigorous, Diligent, Overwhelming, Gorgeous, Passionate, Terrifying, Beautiful, Powerful, Muted Royal Zeto. He was struggling with the drift on his HappyScam controllers, however, and kept dying to that one attack where he just swings his sword and runs around the screen. He groans in frustration and throws his Swap on the couch, prompting Tails to come out of his huddle to see what’s happening. Knuckles whoops, thinking he got Tails to emerge.
“What’re you playing?” His brother asks, rubbing his eyes.
“Empty Crusader.” Sonic replies, checking his Swap for damages.
“Zeto?” Tails asks.
“Yep. At this point I’ll never get the Darkness Embrace ending!” Sonic says.
“Why don’t you play Squid Battalion?”
“Ehhhh. The Wi-Fi’s out. I wouldn’t be surprised if the power goes out too.”
The power proceeds to go out. Everyone gives Sonic an unimpressed stare as he smiles sheepishly. Thunder rumbles again and Tails resumes his cowering, prompting Knuckles to go sit next to sticks.
“What do you think it is this time? Aliens? Robots?” Knuckles asks. Sticks takes a second to ponder.
“I’d say it’s ghosts with impeccable comedic timing. Maybe the writer…” She replies, looking thoughtfully off into the distance. Knuckles looks directly at the camera.
“I bet it’s like, one of Eggman’s ghostly ancestors come to punish us for thwarting Egghead at every turn.” Sonic leans forward, fully investing himself in his own ghost story. Amy’s off in the kitchen getting some candles.
“Stoooop!” Tails whines from his curl. Sonic grins wolffishly, jumping at the chance to spook his buddy.
“Yeah! And the ghost is controlling the storm! Soon his rotting body will ‘thwap!’ Against the wall of the house and come terrorize us all!”
Something goes THUNK against the window, causing everyone, barring Sticks, to scream.
“Yep. Definitely ghosts with impeccable comedic timing.” Sticks remarks, uncharacteristically calm. Maybe she’s possessed by the comedy ghosts. The… thing slides down the (thankfully sturdy) with a comedic squeal, like someone’s trying to wipe a body off their windshield in a cartoon.
Everyone stares at Sonic. He raises his hands sheepishly and gets up from his comfy spot on the couch to go investigate.
It smells slightly like wet fur, ozone, and burning outside. He looks to his left, where the Thing smacked against the window. The wind howls as he squints,
Making out golden rings, black fur, and red stripes.
Oh shit. That’s hilarious.
Shadow The Hedgehog is knocked out on the deck. He’s face down, fur charred. Did he get hit by lightning? Is he even alive? Suddenly the whole thing is considerably less hilarious.
“Who—“ Amy goes to check and is struck dumbfounded by the unconscious villain on her porch.
“Who is it?” Knuckles yells from inside.
“Shadow, actually. Can you come help me pick him up, Knux? He might be dead.” A large grunt and a comedic amount of crashing noises emanates from the house, when Sonic looks back, everything is as it should be.
Sonic, our hero, takes action. He attempts to pick up Shadow and is surprised by his rival’s freezing temperatures and the way he isn’t even that heavy, the man should eat. “Yeah he might be dead.” Sonic says, adjusting his grip so he now holds Shadow bridal style.
The hedgehog gets Shadow placed on the couch surprisingly quickly. Tails exits his blanket burrito to go check Shadow’s pulse. Everything is silent for a minute or two.
“He has a pulse, it’s just like really slow. Like we’re talking 10 beats per minute slow.” He looks at Sonic. “Hedgehogs don’t hibernate, right?” Sonic shakes his head. “Okay then. Official diagnosis: not normal. He’s alive, probably just sleeping. Though I have no idea how he manages it. You’d think a guy that angry would have horrible blood pressure all the time.” Shadow groans, causing Sonic to rush up to his side to hold him down if his rival goes berserk or something. Shadow doesn’t struggle however, and turns his head to look at Sonic.
“M’ria?” He mumbles. His eyes are unfocused as he stares through Sonic’s head. He blinks slowly, face peaceful for once, if confused.
“I think he has brain damage.” Sonic says, deadpan.
Shadow smiles a gentle smile, an odd sight. He places a hand on Sonic’s shoulder and the hero half expects him to go ‘hey.’ In his gravelly voice. “Warm.”
“Wha—!” Sonic gets tossed onto the couch by his rival, who quickly situates himself to nuzzle into Sonic’s chest fur. Sonic, now terrified for his life, hesitantly places his arms on Shadow’s back in a crude approximation of a hug.
The two sit there for a bit. Knuckles is laughing his ass off as Tails and Sticks collect video blackmail. Amy rolls her eyes. As if by eye-rolling magic, the power comes back on unnexpectedly.
Slowly, a rapid, but soft, clicking sound emanates from Shadow’s chest. The sound is similar to the sound metal makes when it heats up and starts trying to expand. A warbling soon joins the party, a low but melodious sound. It occurs to Sonic that Shadow is purring, or doing whatever is closest to purring for him. It’s an odd sound and almost unsettling.
“M’ria…” Shadow mumbles under his breath again. Sonic blushes furiously.
“Ames. Amy what do I do!?” He asks, panicked and still blushing. Tails, who had stolen the Swap, doesn’t look up from his own Empty Crusader save file.
“Push him off. Duh.”
“….. no.”
-000-
Sonic wakes up groggy the next morning, disappointed by the lack of warmth nuzzled into his chest. He hears snickering to his left and so he finally opens his eyes to stare at Tails.
“What?”
“Gay.”
Sonic sputters. “I’m bisexual, thank you very much!”
“Payback for the scary story.” Tails says, his namesakes twitching mischievously behind him. Sonic groans, sitting up. There’s a small pouch on the coffee table and a note addressed to him. He opens the pouch first to see it almost bursting with rings. He then reads the letter.
Faker,
Absolutely nothing happened on the night of Spring 16. Do you understand?
Fuck you,
S
Sonic chuckles to himself, rubbing his eyes free of sleep.
“Soooooo. I saw you taking that video. What do I gotta do to make sure Egghead doesn’t get a hold of it?” He asks Tails, smiling slyly at his baby brother.
“Hmmm.” Tails ponders as someone knocks on the door. Sonic speeds over, opening it up to see an adult rabbit in a maroon dress and rain boots.
“Oh! Hello! I’d just like to thank you for letting my child’s babysitter stay the night. When he didn’t show up she got really worried so we’re glad to see he’s still alive.” She says. Sonic blocks once. Twice. Three times.
“Is Shadow the Fucking Hedgehog your kids babysitter?”
“Language young man! But yes. Usually he stays with us on particularly bad nights. I guess he got caught up with something.” She ponders for a second before continuing. “I’ll tell Cream where he ended up staying. Thank you again!” She waves and leaves, boots splashing in the puddles from last night’s storm.
Sonic closes the door to see Tails smiling impishly.
“I need you to get all the soot off my equipment. Then I’ll delete the video.”