Chapter Text
“Hyunjung’s getting married.”
“Oh.” That is all Jiyeon really has to say.
On the other end of the line, Sojung adds, “Thought this is something that you should know.”
“Okay.” And after a beat of silence, Jiyeon exhales, “Okay.”
Without another word, she ends the call.
There was a point in Jiyeon’s life when she thought that she would have her fairytale love story with a perfect, happy ending.
She had it though. Close to it. A typical love story where a young girl falls in love with her first love. They had a bond that was noticeable even to strangers. Many would say they were made for each other—or soulmates, something most would say.
There was no doubt in Jiyeon’s mind that Hyunjung was her soulmate. The first time they met in middle school, they were like magnets, immediately drawn to each other. An attraction so strong that nothing could keep them apart.
It was easy becoming friends and it didn’t take long for them to become best friends. And before they knew it, they’d fallen in love.
Hyunjung believed it too—that they were soulmates. And that when the time was right, the mark signifying their bond would appear on their skin—a soulmark.
But alas, the universe had other plans.
Jiyeon still remembers that day, the memory of it still clear in her mind—Hyunjung writhing in pain, her hand clutching her collar. She knew something was severely wrong when she did not feel the same searing pain Hyunjung felt.
When the pain had subsided, a name marked Hyunjung’s collarbone. The dark lines of an unfamiliar scrawl stood out so clearly on her pale skin.
The name that marked Hyunjung wasn’t Kim Jiyeon. And on Jiyeon’s own collarbone, it remained bare of any marks. Nothing.
And that was when everything started to fall apart.
(“You’re breaking up with me,” Jiyeon’s voice shakes as she tries to keep her emotions in check, unwilling to break down before her girlfriend—no, ex-girlfriend. “Just like that?”
The woman who she swore that she’d marry one day is breaking up with her. Hyunjung, who sits across from her, keeps her eyes trained on her hands rested on her lap.
“I’m sorry,” Hyunjung whispers, unable to look Jiyeon in the eye. And this irritates Jiyeon.
She scoffs. An I’m sorry simply isn’t enough for the pain she is feeling now. Everything had been fine until it was not. And it just took one thing to cause their relationship to crumble before Jiyeon’s eyes.
That cursed soulmark.
Something had changed the day Hyunjung received her soulmark. But she had reassured Jiyeon that everything would remain the same, that nothing would change.
Wrong.
Jiyeon was a fool to believe that.
She had seen the signs, that Hyunjung was drifting further away from her. And this has brought them here.
The soulmark on Hyunjung’s collarbone stares back at her. It is as if it is mocking her. Reminding her that she isn’t Hyunjung’s soulmate that the universe had decided upon.
Park Soobin. A name that Jiyeon has come to despise.
“Park Soobin,” Jiyeon begins to say. Speaking the name feels like poison on her lips. Hyunjung flinches at the mention of her soulmate’s name. She slowly lifts her gaze to meet Jiyeon’s piercing stare. “You’ve not even met her yet and you’re already ready to end it?”
“Jiyeon, I—”
“Just tell me why? Why you’re doing this when you don’t even know what she’s like,” Jiyeon demands. All the promises Hyunjung made about being together forever are starting to mean nothing. Nothing but empty promises.
Hyunjung reaches over the table to hold Jiyeon’s hands but Jiyeon pulls away as if it hurt to be touched. Biting at her lip, Hyunjung reluctantly brings her hands back to her lap.
“You know how important soulmarks are to me—soulmates too. It’s something that I had been waiting for. And it really hurt when I realized that it wasn’t your name on my skin. But after…after getting the mark, I had a lot of thoughts. I thought about you.”
Jiyeon laughs bitterly, she was finding it hard to believe what she was hearing. “If you had thought about me, you wouldn’t be doing this.”
“You’re making this very difficult for me, Jiyeon.”
“Oh, am I?”
Now all sense of rationality is thrown out of the window as bitterness take over Jiyeon. If Hyunjung is going to hurt her, she is going to do the same.
“I feel like I need time to find myself and figure things out.”
“And time to find your soulmate?”
Hyunjung says nothing, and that is all Jiyeon needs to know about her answer. It made her feel sick to the stomach but she refuses to falter in front of Hyunjung. “So you’re just going to throw all we had away for someone you don’t know?”
“It’s not that. It’s—” Hyunjung trembles.
But at this point, Jiyeon is already building her defences up; she is going to protect herself from the pain. Blinking away the tears that threaten to fall, she pushes herself up from the chair. “I don’t think I need to hear more. You’ve made your actions clear enough to me.”
Before she leaves behind the person that had meant so much to her, she says, “Thank you for the memories, even if they probably don’t mean much to you anymore.”
Jiyeon knows that it isn’t true but this is something she has to remind herself from now on. It is the only way she will be able to move on from Hyunjung.)
Six years and her body is still bare of any marks. Six years and she has lost all faith in soulmates and soulmarks.
The last thing Jiyeon expects is to receive a wedding invitation—an invitation to Hyunjung’s wedding.
Somehow, it found itself in Jiyeon’s mailbox. She’d suspected that it was Sojung, who is also a friend of Hyunjung’s, who placed it there since it wouldn’t be possible for Hyunjung to know her current address.
After the day they had broken up—the way Jiyeon sees it, she was dumped by Hyunjung—Jiyeon had ceased all contact with Hyunjung. Even going to the extent of switching to a new phone number.
She wanted nothing to do with Hyunjung. Was it justified? Probably not. But she was far too hurt to think rationally. Hyunjung had tried to contact her through Sojung, but she threatened Sojung that she would cut her off if she even dared to try.
The call from Sojung about Hyunjung getting married was nothing. But Jiyeon didn’t think that Hyunjung would actually invite her to her wedding.
Jiyeon glowers at the invitation, her eyes tracing over the embossed lettering.
Please join us to celebrate the wedding of
Kim Hyunjung
&
Park Soobin
She knew that Hyunjung would eventually find Soobin. The details of how it happened, she doesn’t know all too well. It’s something that she doesn’t want to know either. It wasn’t her business.
Downing the remaining liquid in her glass, she frowns, nose wrinkling at its bitterness. A taste that she knows really well. Though it could not compare to the bitter feeling that is brewing within her.
She raises her hand towards the bartender. “Give me another of this…” she sniffs the glass, unable to discern or remember the drink she was having, “whatever I was having.”
She is clearly too drunk.
Just as the bartender is about to hand her another glass, someone intercepts the drink. “I think you’ve had enough.”
The owner of the voice, Jiyeon soon realizes, is Sojung, who has an expression Jiyeon could recognize anywhere. It is one of concern. “Oh! Sojung, you’re here!” she hiccups. “Come join me for a drink! Bartender! Pour another glass for my friend here!”
“That’s enough.” Sojung excuses the bartender with a shake of her head. Then, she notices the opened invitation on the bar counter. Faint stains mark the white paper. She doesn’t have to guess that it is from Jiyeon’s tears. “So you’ve received the invitation.”
“She asked you to give it to me, didn’t she,” Jiyeon slurs, pointing her finger at Sojung accusingly.
Sojung says nothing.
Jiyeon flicks the invitation onto the floor. She stares at it. Maybe if she stares at it long and hard enough, it will burn to ashes. All she could do is laugh bitterly. “Can you believe it? Kim Hyunjung actually invited me to her wedding. Of all people, she wants me there? I don’t believe it.”
“You were her best friend. Of course, she’d want you there.”
“Were,” Jiyeon points out. “Even you said it. I don’t think she’d still consider me as her best friend.”
Jiyeon doesn’t think she does either. And suddenly, everything about Hyunjung she had suppressed and locked away in the deepest part of her mind comes rushing back.
She feels a sharp stab to her heart, just like before. “I…I don’t know if I can do it.” She looks up at Sojung, her eyes now red and welled with tears. “I don’t know if I could face her again. To see her marry someone else.”
Sojung says nothing more, and she pulls Jiyeon into a hug. Gently caressing her back, Sojung comforts Jiyeon. “It’s okay. You don’t have to go.”
Six years have gone by and Jiyeon is sure she has moved on. But maybe, just maybe, she has not.
Jiyeon stares at the number on the invitation. It is a number she knows very well—Hyunjung’s number. Long deleted from her phone contacts but not from her memories.
A small voice in her head keeps telling her to call the number. Yet she can’t bring herself to do it.
Recalling the conversation she had with Sojung a few days prior, she’d told Jiyeon, “Call her.”
(“Call her.” The voice pulls Jiyeon from her thoughts.
Looking up from where she sits, Jiyeon spots Sojung leaning against the doorframe of her room, her appearance still a mess from waking up. “Didn’t think you’d be up before me. Especially after last night,” Sojung says before pushing off from the doorframe, moving into the kitchen to grab a glass of water.
Last night…right.
Jiyeon was so intoxicated that Sojung needed the help of the bartender to get Jiyeon into her car. You’d think that she’d be too hungover to get out of bed but there she is at ten in the morning, sitting on Sojung’s worn-out couch, staring lasers into Hyunjung’s wedding invitation.
“How long have you been standing there?”
“Long enough to convince me that you might actually want to attend the wedding.” Jiyeon feels the couch sinking deeper as Sojung settles into the empty space beside her. “All that staring isn’t going to change anything.”
Of course, nothing is going to change. Jiyeon had foolishly considered that maybe Hyunjung might change her mind if she made a resurgence into her life again. It was a ridiculous thought to have when she hasn’t seen the woman in six years. But that was all rooted in her drunken haze from the night before. The post-drunken clarity has Jiyeon berating herself for having such absurd thoughts.
A drawn-out silence soon fills the small apartment. The pair sits quietly, Sojung patiently waits for Jiyeon to speak, ready to be the supportive friend she needs to be.
Bringing her legs up to her chest, Jiyeon rests her chin on her knees. “Sojung,” she says.
“Hmm?”
“I really thought I was over her.” She turns her head to the side to look at Sojung. “You know when you called to tell me that she was getting married, I felt nothing. But seeing the invitation, it felt real. It invited back feelings that I’ve kept away for a long time.”
Sojung nods in understanding and offers Jiyeon a small smile. Jiyeon isn’t sure if Sojung can tell her what she needs to hear but her friend reaches out, resting her hand on her shoulder, and giving it a light squeeze.
“I don’t know if attending the wedding will be a good idea.”
At that moment, Jiyeon starts to fall apart again. Being at the wedding may just destroy whatever sanity she has left. She hates how Hyunjung still has an effect on her like that. Even after so many years apart.
But Sojung simply says, “Or maybe the wedding could bring you the closure you need.”)
Closure. What Sojung said echoes in Jiyeon’s mind.
Maybe she is right. After all, the fall out of Jiyeon’s relationship with Hyunjung was a bad one. It wasn’t a clean break. There had been a lot left behind when Jiyeon decided to turn her back and walk away from Hyunjung.
Perhaps this is the closure Jiyeon needed to move on.
After much contemplation, she gingerly picks up her phone and dials the number. Fingers move easily across the number pad—muscle memory from dialling Hyunjung’s number countless times.
Jiyeon takes in a deep breath and presses call.
It doesn’t take long for Hyunjung to pick up the call. “Hello?”
Something shifts within Jiyeon when she hears Hyunjung’s voice again after six years. Her breath catches in her throat as she tries to find her voice to reply.
“Hello?” Hyunjung repeats.
Not wanting Hyunjung to hang up, Jiyeon finally speaks, “Hello, Hyunjung.”
She hears a gasp and then some shuffling on the other end. “Jiyeon? Is that you?”
“Yes, it’s me.”
There is silence at the end of the line for a while. Jiyeon starts to chew on her nails, a nervous tick, thinking that Hyunjung will hang up. Then Hyunjung says, “Oh my god, it’s really you. How are you?”
How was she? Overwhelmed is honestly an understatement to describe how she is feeling. It felt surreal that she is on the phone with Hyunjung. “I’m fine,” she manages to reply. “How about you?”
“Really good, now that you’ve called.”
Jiyeon feels her heart skip a beat at that. But she knows what Hyunjung means—relief that Jiyeon is finally acknowledging her existence again and nothing more.
Remembering why she is calling in the first place, she says, “I received the wedding invitation. Congratulations, Hyunjung.”
“I assume Sojung managed to deliver it to you. Thank you, Jiyeon. Will you…uh…” Hyunjung pauses but Jiyeon can still her breathing over the phone, “will I be seeing you there?”
Hopefulness. Jiyeon can sense it in Hyunjung’s voice. When she remains quiet, Hyunjung quickly adds, “I really hope to see you there, Jiyeon.”
Closure, Jiyeon thinks to herself again. “I’ll be there.”
The wedding is held in a massive ballroom at the Grand Hyatt Seoul. The entire area had been booked out for the special day. “Soobin’s family has quite the wealth,” Sojung whispers to Jiyeon when they exit the elevator and are welcome by a grand and luxurious atmosphere.
Just a little ways away from the row of elevators, tables draped in white, decorated with fairy lights and baby’s breath. Behind them, attendants receive guests, having them sign in the guestbooks and collect envelopes of money for the couple.
As per tradition, Jiyeon and Sojung hand over envelopes of money to the attendants before signing in their names. Walking further in, many guests milled around while they wait for the ceremony to begin.
Sojung tugs on Jiyeon’s arm to get her attention. “I’m going to the washroom. Why don’t you go see Hyunjung first?”
“Wait—” Jiyeon begins to say, hesitant to see Hyunjung alone but Sojung has already disappeared into the crowd. She sighs and approaches a nearby attendant to ask for directions to the bride’s room.
Following behind the attendant through a hallway, she arrives at the room where Hyunjung waits to greet guests. Quickly thanking the attendant, Jiyeon peers into the room.
In the middle sits Hyunjung in a long, flowing white gown, as she smiles and greets several different guests, taking pictures with them. Jiyeon unconsciously lets out a tiny gasp. Hyunjung looked stunning, and she looked like how Jiyeon had once dreamed of when they were still dating—when she thought that they would marry one day.
Smoothening her palms on her pants, she carefully enters the room. Her entrance is immediately noticed by Hyunjung. Her expression of shock soon turns into joy. “Oh, Jiyeon!”
A shorter woman standing beside Hyunjung looks up as well. She narrows her eyes at Jiyeon. It was a look that Jiyeon had the pleasure of being on the receiving end before. Luda, Hyunjung’s close friend, starts to cross her arms into a defensive stance.
“What are you doing here?”
Jiyeon has only met the small woman a few times. A feisty one she is, with a sharp tongue that can invoke fear in the bravest of brave. She doesn’t know what Hyunjung has told Luda but whatever impression Luda currently has of Jiyeon is definitely not a good one.
“Luda, not now,” Hyunjung says quickly. She gestures for Luda to come closer and whispers something in her ear. “Now go.”
Luda huffs and ushers out the remaining guests in the room who look at Jiyeon curiously. Before she closes the doors behind her, she leaves one last scathing glare at Jiyeon.
Now, only the two of them remain in the room. The happy mood quickly shifts into a thick and tense atmosphere. Hyunjung slowly stands up and approaches Jiyeon, still keeping a small distance between them both.
“You came.”
“I said I would.” And that is enough for Hyunjung to close the distance to pull Jiyeon into a hug.
Still standing frozen in her spot, arms stuck to her sides, Jiyeon breathes in all of Hyunjung. The familiar peach scent fills her sense. Hyunjung’s head tucks into the crook of her neck, and it still felt the same as it used to.
Hyunjung’s arms tighten around her. “I missed you,” she says, her voice is muffled but Jiyeon hears it clear enough.
With that, Jiyeon breaks. Her arms reach up and wrap around Hyunjung’s waist, pulling her closer. Tears begin to run down her face. “I missed you too,” she cries.
Hyunjung pulls back just enough to look at Jiyeon, tears streak down her face as well. “I’m sorry,” Jiyeon says.
A small smile curls onto Hyunjung’s lips. She reaches up to Jiyeon’s face to brush away her tears with her thumb and Jiyeon leans into her touch. “No, don’t apologize. I should be the one who should be apologizing. Not you.”
“I—”
“No, Jiyeon,” Hyunjung is quick to stop her. “I shouldn’t have broken up with you the way I did. It was wrong and I hurt you. And I’m sorry for doing that to you. I can’t imagine the pain I’ve caused you all these years.”
“I hurt you too.” They had both hurt each other, that was the reality of it. It didn’t matter who hurt who more but right then, being able to admit to it and apologize brings a cathartic feeling to Jiyeon.
Their sobs soon turn into mellow laughter. Tension finally dissipates. Jiyeon unwinds her arms around Hyunjung and takes a small step back.
“You look stunning by the way.” Jiyeon grins. It’s genuine. Pulling out a tissue from her bag, she comes a little closer, dabbing it lightly on Hyunjung’s cheeks. “Stop crying, your makeup is getting ruined. We can’t have that on such a special day.”
Hyunjung’s smile widens. “Yours too,” she chuckles.
That is when Jiyeon finally realizes that the mark on Hyunjung’s collarbone didn’t bother her like it once did. And just like that, Jiyeon could finally feel like she got the closure she needed.
Not going to join in on the fun?” A voice startles Jiyeon.
Jiyeon finds herself well situated at the open bar at the wedding reception, nursing herself a classic drink of gin and tonic. Sojung is nowhere to be found, disappearing not long after they’d finished dinner, having muttered a name to Jiyeon before leaving her all alone.
Oni? Da-oni? Or was it Dawon? Jiyeon tries to recall the name, though she does have some suspicion of who it is—she’d seen a similar sounding name on Sojung’s ankle weeks before.
She turns to look at the stranger who has joined her at the bar. Tall, long dark hair, and a high nose with a crisp, white dress shirt on, sleeves pulled up revealing a strong pair of arms paired with simple navy slacks.
Beautiful. But Jiyeon quickly shakes the thought out of her head.
The stranger has a handsome grin stretched across her face and it’s enough for the pits of her stomach to stir. Returning the smile, Jiyeon says, “Not really my thing.” She glances towards the dance floor where tables had been cleared away and tipped the remaining liquid in her glass down her throat. “ And you?”
“Well, I saw a gorgeous lady all alone by the bar. Wondered if she wanted some company. But I’m guessing you aren’t?’
Jiyeon can feel her ears start to heat up and she isn’t sure if it is from the alcohol in her system or the attractive stranger next to her. “I don’t mind the company.”
The stranger turns and leans over the counter, signalling to the bartender. “A gin and tonic for me. And for her?” She cocks her head towards Jiyeon.
“I’ll have the same.”
“Similar tastes, I see.”
Jiyeon shrugs, placing the empty glass down. Two new glasses of gin and tonic are soon placed in front of them. The stranger slowly sips on the drink and turns to face Juyeon, her side still leaning against the counter. “So, which side are you from? The bride or the bride?”
“Wow, that’s so funny.” Jiyeon’s reply is laced with sarcasm. “I’m a friend of Hyunjung’s.”
The stranger winks. “I’ve been told I’m quite the comedian,” she says, sticking her hand out to Jiyeon. “Eunseo. Soobin’s colleague.”
Jiyeon takes Eunseo’s hand—she can’t help to notice how big they were but how it still fit well in hers. “Bona,” she replies.
As Jiyeon moved further away from the idea of soulmates and soulmarks (her relationship with Hyunjung really left a scar), she started using a fake name. Every new person she met, she introduces herself as Bona. A measure that she hopes wouldn’t force her soulmate upon her.
“Bona,” Eunseo repeats. “A beautiful name for a beautiful woman like you. Very fitting.”
“You’re quite the flirt, aren’t you?”
“Who says I’m flirting?” Eunseo retorts, eyebrows wiggling at the now embarrassed Jiyeon. “But if you want to, I’ll flirt with you.”
Now, the heat from her ears is definitely not from the alcohol. “Well, I—” she stutters. She avoids Eunseo’s amused gaze and brings her glass to her lips, taking another sip to calm her racing heart.
Eunseo barks out a laugh, under her breath, Jiyeon could hear the woman mutter cute. And this causes her to blush even harder than before.
Clearing her throat, she turns her body to face the dance floor. Soon, silence falls between them, allowing the deep thumping of the music to consume them.
“I’ll never understand it,” Eunseo suddenly quips while they watch Hyunjung and Soobin dance together. “Soulmates and soulmarks. The idea that you’re tied to someone and the universe marks you with that someone’s name. Someone who you’re supposed to be with.”
The subject of soulmates being brought up is the last thing Jiyeon expects.
Eunseo continues, “Why does the universe get to dictate who is made for us? How is it sure that the person who has my name marked on their skin would get along with me? I really don’t get it. What do you think?”
This catches Jiyeon off guard. Thinking back on her relationship with Hyunjung, the person who she thought was her soulmate. Maybe Eunseo has a point.
When she eventually gets her soulmark, will she be forced to fall in love with her soulmate without much choice?
“I hadn’t really thought about it that way but you’re right. I guess falling in love should happen naturally.”
“Yeah, I don’t want anything that would force me to be with someone. Or even if it’s just a guide, something to point you the right way, I want to be the one who’s in control. I don’t have mine yet and if I’m going to be really honest, I hope I don’t get it. Fuck that.”
What Eunseo has said made sense to Jiyeon. So, she lifts her glass towards Eunseo who lifts her own and clinks it against Jiyeon’s. “And cheers to that."