Work Text:
I looked down at my wrist. Three words were written there. "Jean, calm down". The last words that my soul mate was supposed to say to me. I sighed softly. I hated how this worked. I won't even know who I'm with is my soul mate until they leave me. I shook my head. This was no times to be thinking about that right now. I had to get ready to go on the mission we had today. We had one day left in training before Marco and I could go to the Military Police. But first, I had to survive today. That wouldn't be that hard, would it? Just a few... titans... What am I saying? This is going to be difficult and I really don't want to do this. At all. I huffed, aggravated at my belts that I just couldn't get on.
"Need some help there?" I looked up and automatically smiled slightly.
"Uh.. yeah." I nodded and Marco chuckled as he walked over to me.
"Thanks.." I said. He just smiled up at me.
"No problem." He helped me with my belts and I tried not to act like a blushing virgin. He was just helping me with my belts for the wall's sake!
He stood up and smiles reassuringly at me. I looked up at him and smiled back. He stepped closer to me and wrapped his arms around me. I hugged him back, burying my face in his neck. I was just for comfort I told myself. Marco ran his fingers through my hair.
"It'll be okay." He whispered. All I could do was nod, not trusting my voice at this moment.
We walked out and met up with the other trainees.
~Later On~
Everything seemed to be going wrong. My gear fucked up and there were titans around me. I had no idea what to do. I looked around and found a body that had gear that looked fine. God, why do we have to do this...? I ran over to the body, trying to get the gear off it. Fuck. My hands were shaking. I can't do this. I'm going to die.
"Jean, calm down!" I heard from somewhere. I looked up and saw Marco.
"Marco? What are you doing?" I shouted.
Marco ran off, distracting the titans that were getting closer to me. I shook my head slightly and got the gear off and went to a safer place.
~After Finding Marco~
I looked down at my wrist again. Seeing the words "Jean, calm down". They used to actually make me feel better and bring me relief, but now, all I can see is Marco. Fuck. Why did he have to be my soul mate? Why did it have to be like this? At first I didn't realize what Marco had said to me. I didn't think about it at all in the moment. But now, it was all I could think about. I tried to hold the tears back. Tried to keep the sobs from wracking my body. But I couldn't. We all stood around the pyres. I got a bit closer to the fires, kneeling down. I picked up some bones in my hand. I don't even know which bones are his anymore. That's when I couldn't hold back any longer. I just couldn't. The sobs broke through me. I didn't care if people were watching me. I didn't care at all. I cried there on the ground. I finally calmed down enough to stand up. I stood, barely keeping it together.
"I-I'm joining the Survey Corps!" For Marco. But I didn't say the last part. I let another sob out. I shook and it Connie to drag me away. To calm me enough to get me into my own bed.