Work Text:
beads of sweat on his forehead, he wakes up with a breathless “qin er!” let out of his lungs. his breath is sharp, accelerated as if he has just circled a few times around the city on his feet. a lonely tear shimmers on his cheek, the day is yet about to start, the sunrise coming leisurely.
only after jiang shuo regains his composure, trying to get back to reality with a few light smacks to his face, does he look to the side.
his wife wasn’t with him that night, the same as the previous one, a foreboding feeling that he will be left alone for another night emerged in his chest, weighing upon it.
he missed something lost. he missed the time someone heard his rambling in sleep, missed someone who cared, went inside his room with tousled hair and drowsy gaze, but still went inside to check, see if jiang shuo’s life wasn’t jeopardized just like nearly every day. then this someone would wake him up, hug him, tried to comfort as all of the already deceased humans’ faces kept on haunting jiang shuo’s mind at night.
and this someone would stay with him. the first night with slight hesitation, still a bit stiff in his hands covering them both with quilts, but then after a while grow accustomed to their late-night whispers, tangled hands, shared pillow, and familiar warmth.
since yi heng disappeared two months have passed. jiang shuo and mu qing got married, and although the husband insisted on moving to the wife’s house, the woman was persistent, saying that she feels more at home in the compound, with their friends. jiang shuo couldn’t, but be obedient, putting his wife’s well-being as the main priority.
he has never let out a single word of complaint – but the truth was, their marriage was not what he had dreamed of. she was almost all the time immersed in the town’s and army’s matters, which was pretty understandable. after her father’s death, mu qing felt it was her duty to inherit the position, and after discussing it with her loved one, she could become one of the most influential people in the city.
jiang shuo’s heavy head banged against the pillow, the mattress squeaking in a hilarious way. with her, there was no late-night murmuring, for she was too tired, no holding hands, they had two separate pillows, as jiang shuo hugged her, he could feel a missing part somewhere within.
with yi heng, he was the one embraced. the familiar warmth was entirely gone.
another tear rolled down his cheek. the only one place he could meet qin er was in his dreams, but most of the time he either saw yi heng dying or bidding him a ‘forever goodbye’, and honestly, jiang shuo had no idea which tormented him more.
he had put his trust in the other. his promise “I’ll come back” still repeating in his mind, the last moment their eyes met, the last time he could feel qin er’s skin grazing his skin softly, yet with agitation.
at this moment jiang shuo stretched his hands upwards, splaying all of the fingers. there was a silver ring on one of them, and no other jewelry. it was the one thing he cherished the most, although maybe he shouldn’t, his eyes looking at the tinsel with sincere affection.
was it bad, was it an act of cruelty towards the innocent that his wedding ring was neatly placed on the cupboard, dust atop, whilst the silver ring entrusted him by yi heng has never been taken off, even once?
it was not mu qing’s fault, she did what she could, she loved jiang shuo with her whole heart, and having duties could go along with being a faithful wife.
it was jiang shuo, jiang shuo and his never diminishing, foolish hope.
“he will be back. I will see him again.”
just like every morning, another, the third tear appeared on his cheek, this time his lips twitching upwards. they will meet again. in this world, the other, in the reality he created or the reality which yi heng owned.
he will wait as long as necessary. because qin er promised to be back.
yi heng will be back to finally close jiang shuo in his warm embrace, maybe calling him a fool again. jiang shuo couldn't wait for that.
// ☆ //