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The sound was one I would never forget. The sight was one I wished I could.
There was so much blood.
It was all hers.
It seeped between my fingers, her very life was slipping through my fingers and there was nothing I could grasp onto to stop it.
Please, don’t leave me.
There was so much commotion around me; screams from the Moroi, the orders given to guardians. None of it mattered.
Above it all, I heard her sharp, painful breaths and strangled gargles as she choked on the blood in her mouth.
Roza— my Roza— was dying before my eyes and I couldn’t do anything.
I saw it about to happen. I could tell things were about to go very wrong, and I hesitated. I faltered. I had pledged my life to protecting Lissa, but I loved Rose and couldn’t bear seeing her hurt again. For that moment— that split second —that I didn’t know who to jump in front of, I was too late to save anyone.
The crack of the gunshot echoed through the large room and Rose fell to the ground.
A foolish part of me believed it was just a graze. This was Rose, she was a survivor. Time and time again, she had survived events that no one believed she would. She shined too brightly to be snuffed out so soon.
Lissa was screaming, calling Rose’s name and for help. Everyone was moving but no one was moving to help Rose.
I fought against hands that tried to pull me back, landing on my knees by her prone body. Her shirt was already soaked; you wouldn’t be able to guess the colour it used to be, the material dyed a deep red.
It was too much blood to be a graze. Too much to be superficial.
I was still restrained, metal locked around my wrist preventing me from lifting her and getting her out of the chaos of the room. She needed a doctor.
Lissa reached for the wound, my last hope for keeping the woman I loved alive, but before she could reach Rose she was hauled away.
“No!” I cried. My voice was lost in the sea of sounds, I still tried to make them listen, “She can save her! Let her save her!” I never thought I would beg, but I was pleading on my knees for whoever was listening to save Rose.
All I could do was press my hands against the wound.
The small hole was too close to her heart.
Oh God, Roza. Please live.
She had to live. I only just got her back, I had only just gained back the part of me that longed for her, the part that realised that my life was only worth living if she was in it. I thought I had lost my chance at happiness but then Rose was willing to give me another chance that I didn’t deserve but craved to have.
I couldn’t lose her again. Not again.
“Roza. Roza. Hold on. Hold on, please,” I pleaded. Tears were falling from my eyes, only realising when they splashed on my hands; drops of water mixing with her blood.
“Dim—” Blood pooled in Rose’s mouth, cutting off any more words, her fingers grasping listlessly beside her. I wished to hold her hand, but I couldn’t. To move my hands would remove the pressure on the wound.
I couldn’t let her die.
I gaze down at her, blinking through blurred eyes. I needed to be able to see her properly, I wanted to be able to remember every part of her just in case… that thought was like a knife in my heart. If Roza died my heart would be ripped and broken.
I needed her to live.
Even as her skin paled, she was still beautiful. Deep brown eyes focused on me; the bloodied corners of her lips tilted up into the ghost of a smile. There were so many emotions in her eyes, she was always one to wear her heart on her sleeve. It was part of what I loved so much about her.
Roza gazed up at me with love, a love I thought I would never experience again.
How could she forgive me? After everything I did as a Strigoi and after… She still loved me. She forgave me and I almost destroyed us because I didn’t believe it was possible.
Everything felt so insignificant. Everything that had been holding me back, none of it mattered as long as I had Roza. With her, I could live again.
“Roza.” There was so much left unsaid between us.
Her eyes closed; slowly fluttered closed as if she was drifting off to sleep. An anguish I had never felt before, one so painful it took my breath away, shot through me.
“No, no, no. No! Roza, open your eyes!”
The blood was slowing. The beating of her heart under my hands faded.
My cuffs rubbed at my skin, the metal clinking as I started to press down on her chest. Help had to be coming, I just had to keep her heart beating. “Don’t leave me, Roza. Please don’t leave me.” The words a whisper. A prayer.
I couldn’t live without her.
Hands were pulling me away again, others surrounded me and pushed me aside even as I fought against them. I had to keep her heart beating.
“Let them do their job,” a firm voice ordered me. My body recognised the order even if my mind could only focus on Roza.
The realisation that these people were helping her hit. My bloody hands left her chest and took her hand; it was so cold. “Please, you have to save her.” The plea wasn’t aimed specifically at them, I didn’t even look at their faces. It was for anyone listening.
Roza was pale, the contrast of her skin and the deep crimson on her chest and the floor was startling. She was too still.
Lifeless.
A broken sound came from my mouth, I didn’t know if it was a sob or a scream.
Please, Roza. Don’t leave me!
Please don’t die.