Chapter Text
Draco was the first to succumb to the darkness, screaming out her name.
“I'm here,” Hermione promised, leaning over him and taking his face in her hands. “Draco, it's alright, I'm here. It's just a dream, love, please wake up.”
He thrashed in his sleep and she knew that he was trying to reach her, trying to get to her as she lay on the floor in Malfoy Manor.
“Draco, I'm here!” she repeated. “I'm right here.”
When he thrashed again, she straddled his hips and allowed her entire body weight to rest on him, her forehead resting against his.
“Draco, listen to me,” she ordered, forcing her voice not to shake. “It's just a dream. You're having a nightmare and you need to wake up. Now, Draco. Wake up!”
His eyes flew open and he gasped, pushing her off of him in a panic and sitting up.
“Shh, shh,” Hermione sat up on her knees and wrapped her arms around his shoulders. “You're alright, I'm right here. Just breathe, Draco. Just breathe.”
She waited for him to orient himself, her face pressed against his back. After a minute he tugged at her arm, so she straddled his waist and took his face in her hands, waiting for his eyes to focus on her.
“You're okay,” he breathed heavily.
“Right as rain,” she smiled.
Draco nodded and fell back against the mattress, pulling Hermione down on top of him.
“Do you want to talk about it?” she asked, resting her head against his chest and listening closely as his heartbeat returned to normal.
“No.” He reached up and began scratching her scalp softly, knowing that it would put her to sleep.
“Are you sure?”
“Hermione,” he breathed deeply in an attempt not to snap at her.
Recognizing that she wasn't going to get anything out of him, she nodded and pressed a kiss to his neck, before settling comfortably against him.
When Hermione began flailing around a few hours later, Draco was already awake and quickly rolled over to hold her.
“No, please,” she whimpered. “Don't, please!”
“Hermione,” he shook her lightly. “Sweetheart, wake up.”
“Ron, please!” she pleaded. “Don't!”
Draco froze momentarily, a ball of rage settling in his chest. What the hell had the ginger weasel done?
“Hermione,” he raised his voice slightly. “Hermione, you need to wake up. It's just a dream, love.”
He shook her shoulder again, but it did nothing as she began to sob desperately in her sleep.
These were the moments that killed him, the inhuman sounds that came out of her as she sobbed broke his heart. All he wanted was to take care of her, to take away her pain, and he couldn't. All he could do was hold her, so that was what he did.
He wasn't exactly sure when she woke up, but he felt her hands grip his arm and when he looked down her eyes were open and she looked terrified.
“Hey, you're alright,” Draco promised. “I've got you.”
“Harry,” she choked.
“Potter's fine,” he assured her. “He's with the Weasleys, presumably in Gryffindor tower.”
“Ron-”
“He's fine too.” For now , Draco thought.
Hermione nodded, sitting up and breathing deeply as she took in their surroundings, tugging at her hair anxiously.
“We're in my dorm,” he traced his hand slowly up and down her spine, watching her from where he lay.
“The Puddlemere United poster gave it away,” she sniffed.
“Are you questioning my Quidditch loyalties?” Draco raised an eyebrow at her.
“Of course not, love, you're just the only Puddlemere fan I know.”
“Really? Who do Boy Wonder and Weasel cheer for, then?”
“Harry doesn't really have a team, but Ron goes for the Chudley Cannons- do not say whatever it is you're thinking about saying,” she threatened, twisting around so she could see his face.
“I wasn't going to say anything.” He lied, trying to look innocent.
Hermione snorted. “Sure, you weren't.”
“You called out for him,” Draco said quietly, sitting up beside her. “Just now, while you were sleeping.”
“Who?”
“Weasley.”
He didn't miss the way that she tried to shrink away from him, pulling her knees up and suddenly becoming very interested in the quilt.
“You begged him not to do something,” Draco continued.
“Please,” she shook her head. “Draco, please don't.”
“Hermione, did he hurt you?”
“Draco,” she pleaded, her voice breaking.
“Hermione, please,” he placed his hand on the small of her back, watching her intently. He needed to know that she was alright.
She took a few deep breaths, trying to pull herself together enough to tell him what had happened- something she'd avoided ever since that first night at Shell Cottage.
“He left.”
Draco nodded slowly, vaguely remembering this from the shouting match she and her friends had had when they got to Shell Cottage.
“We'd been in hiding for a couple months, and we'd found the first horcrux- the necklace.” Hermione explained, her voice barely more than a whisper and her eyes fixed on a spot near the end of the bed. “We didn't want to risk losing it, so we took turns wearing it. It messed with our emotions, our thoughts. Whenever you wore it, you just felt so angry. Ron had the hardest time with it, he's always had a temper and the necklace just made it that much easier to get on his bad side. We were barely eating; we hadn't had time to properly pack and we had to scavenge all our meals. It was getting to all of us, but Ron...”
She trailed off for a moment, shaking her head.
“We were trying to figure out how to destroy it,” she continued as Draco traced patterns on her back, a comforting reminder that it was over now. “I'd just worked it out, more or less, and Harry and I were excited- we were finally getting somewhere. Ron was so angry, though. He was convinced that there was something going on between Harry and I- that we were talking about him behind his back or keeping secrets from him or something. He and Harry started to row, screaming at each other as though they were fighting with- well, you.”
“That bad?” Draco's eyebrows shot up.
“Worse,” she shook her head. “Harry told him that he should go if he didn't want to be there, so he did. Ron wanted me to leave with him. I begged him to stay, but he wouldn't. I followed him to the edge of the wards, I tried to pull him back, but he wouldn't listen. He shoved me off of him and before I could get up off the ground he was gone, outside the wards, and I couldn't-”
Her voice finally broke, tears beginning to fall again.
“He left,” she choked. “He looked me right in the eye and told me I could stay or I could go, and then he left us. He left me.”
“He came back.” Draco tried to comfort her, despite wanting nothing more than to storm Gryffindor Tower and wring the youngest Weasley son by his scrawny ginger neck for doing this to her.
“But he left,” she shook her head. “We promised that we would support each other, that we would take care of each other no matter what, but he didn't. Things got hard and he ran away.”
“I'm sorry,” Draco kissed her shoulder.
Hermione nodded listlessly, her focus on the quilt again.
“Don't ever leave me like that,” she whispered in the most shattered tone Draco had ever heard. “If you ever leave, don't let it be like that.”
“I'm not going anywhere,” he promised.
“But if you do,” she insisted, finally turning to face him, a desperate look in her eye.
“I promise you, Hermione, I will never leave you like that. Never. I wouldn't be able to.”
“I never thought Ron would be able to either,” she muttered.
Draco took her face in his hands, desperate for her to believe him- to trust in his love for her. “I will never hurt you like that, and I will never leave you- ever. I can't live without you.”
She studied his face carefully for a minute, then nodded, tears in her eyes. “Thank you.”
“Come here,” Draco pulled her flush against him, easing them back against the pillows again. “Try to get some more sleep.”
He could tell that she was fighting it, her hands roaming listlessly across his chest and arms, but once again the feeling of his nails scratching softly at her scalp knocked her out and Draco found himself wondering if they ever had children, if they would be just as easy to knock out.
The next thing he knew, someone was shaking Draco awake. Without a second thought, he pulled his wand from under his pillow and bolted upright.
“Whoa, stand down, mate!” Blaise jumped back from the bed, his hands raised. “It's just me.”
“Sorry,” Draco dropped his wand quickly, scrubbing at his face with his free hand. “Reflex.”
Blaise waved him off as though it was nothing, they all did it after all. “Potter and Weasley are at the door looking for Granger. I figured she wouldn't take too kindly to being woken up by a relative stranger, though.”
“Good call,” Draco agreed, rolling over to wake Hermione. “Time to wake up, love. Your specky friend is getting suspicious.”
She groaned adorably and tried to push his face away, making Draco chuckle.
“Come on, sleepy head,” he kissed her temple. “There's a new world order to welcome.”
“No pressure or anything,” Blaise snorted. “I'll tell Potter she's getting up.”
Draco nodded to his friend and climbed over Hermione so he could get out of bed.
“Draco.” She groaned again, reaching out for him the moment she felt his warmth disappear.
“I'm right here.” He assured her, crouching beside the bed. “But we have to get up.”
“Don't want to,” Hermione grumbled, grabbing his pillow and burying her face in it.
“So, I'll just let Potter in here, shall I?”
“Do I have clothes on?” she asked, her voice muffled by the pillow.
“Yes,” Draco laughed.
“Then by all means.” She pulled the quilt up, so that only the very top of her head was visible, making it look less like there was a girl in Draco's bed and more like there was a tribe of Pygmy Puffs.
Draco snorted, pulling a pair of sweats on before making his way out to the common room.
“Where's Hermione?” Ron demanded, his tone sending more than a few first years scrambling behind Daphne and Blaise.
“She won't get out of bed.” Draco explained, nodding for the Gryffindors to follow him. “How'd you know where she was, anyways?”
“I, uh, have a map-” Harry answered vaguely.
“Oh, right, that Marauding thingy,” Draco nodded. “Hermione's mentioned it. I didn't know it showed where dormitory entrances were, though.”
“Well, we already knew where the entrance was.”
“How the hell did you know where the Slytherin common room is?” Draco asked, leading them into his room.
“They snuck in during Second Year,” Hermione offered, still buried under the quilt.
“Did they?” Draco raised an eyebrow. “And what were you doing while they were sneaking in?”
“That's not important.”
Ron and Harry both let out snorts of laughter, then quickly tried to cover them with coughs.
“Not one word.” Hermione sat up and glared at her two best friends, then turned to Draco, who looked like he'd just been told he was getting a dragon for Christmas. “And you will forget you ever heard that.”
“I most definitely will not,” he scoffed. “I'm gonna go see how the little clots are doing, I'll leave you guys to chat.”
“Don't call them that,” she admonished, swallowing a yawn.
“I'll be out there if you need me.” Draco gave her a quick salute and ducked out the door, leaving the Golden Trio alone.
“So, how are you?” Harry asked, taking a seat on Theo's bed.
“Exhausted. How are you?”
“Same,” he shrugged. “It doesn't seem real.”
Hermione nodded and turned her attention to Ron. “How are you doing?”
He shrugged moodily, his hands in his pockets and his eyes trained on the floor.
“Ron,” she crawled out from under the quilt and reached for his arm. “Please, talk to me.”
“There's nothing to talk about,” he grunted. “It's over. We won. He's gone. What else is there to say?”
“Ron, your bro-”
“NO!” he snapped making Hermione jump back. “That's it! It's over!”
“Ron,” Harry stepped in calmly. “She's just trying to help.”
“Then she should have been with us last night, instead of huddled in the dungeons with her boyfriend!”
“Ron, I'm sorry,” Hermione shook her head. “I didn't realize-”
“Of course you didn't,” he sneered. “Why would you care about us when your precious ferret is around?!”
“Oi! That's enough!” Harry stepped between them, pushing Ron back a step when he noticed the way Hermione was cowering ever so slightly. “You're angry, I get it, but you can't take that out on Hermione. That's not fair and you know it.”
“Of course you're on her side,” Ron pushed him back. “You're always on her bloody side.”
“There are no sides, Ron,” he argued. “Now you need to take a breath and calm down, alright?”
“Sod off,” Ron turned away angrily. “I didn't come down to this dingy, godforsaken pit just so you two could gang up on me.”
“Nobody is ganging up on you! Hermione was trying to ask how you're doing and you went after her !”
“Stop yelling,” Hermione begged quietly. “Please, stop yelling.”
“If she wanted to know how I was doing, she should have come up to the tower with us and been there last night, instead of running off with her boyfriend!” Ron yelled, completely ignoring her request.
“Maybe she needed to be down here, did you think about that?” Harry countered. “Did you think about the fact that we're all hurting and maybe she needed Malfoy more than you needed her? And if you really needed her so desperately, maybe you should have gone looking last night, instead of screaming at her now!”
“Please, stop.” Hermione pleaded again, retreating to the farthest corner of the bed with her knees pulled up to her chest and her hands clamped over her ears like a child listening to their parents' fight. “Please.”
“I didn't think I needed to!” Ron cried. “I thought she cared enough about my family to know that we needed her, seeing as my brother died!”
“So did I!” Harry shouted, stepping closer and closer to Ron. “And so did Colin and Lavender and Tonks and Remus! We're all grieving Ron, it doesn't give you an excuse to yell at Hermione!”
“WHY ARE YOU TAKING HER SIDE?!”
“THERE ARE NO SIDES!”
“STOP!” Hermione screamed, scrambling off the bed and rushing into the bathroom, slamming the door and locking it behind her before sinking to the floor.
“Hermione!” Harry rushed after her immediately, pressing his ear to the door. “Hermione, I'm sorry. Please open the door!”
“What the hell is going on in here?” Theo Nott appeared in the doorway, a confused look on his face.
“Oh good, more Snakes,” Ron muttered.
“You're in the Slytherin dormitories, what exactly were you expecting?” Theo rolled his eyes. “Potter, what are you doing?”
“Hermione locked herself in there.” He explained worriedly, then turned to snarl at his friend. “Merlin, Ron, you just had to yell at her, didn't you?”
“Me?! You're the one who started shouting!”
“Okay, I could hear the both of you from all the way down the hall, you were both yelling,” Theo tried to mediate. “And it's obviously not going well, so why don't you both shut up and focus on trying to get Granger out of the bathroom?”
“If she can't be bothered worrying about me, I won't be bothered worrying about her,” Ron crossed his arms stubbornly.
“This whole thing started because she was worrying about you, you knob!” Harry cried.
“Hey!” Draco came storming up the corridor, a murderous look on his face. “You're scaring the first years! Keep it down!”
“Not just the first years,” Theo offered. “Granger locked herself in the bathroom.”
“She what?!” Draco pushed past his roommate and the arguing Gryffindors, shoving Potter back so he could get to the door.
For his part, Harry’s eyes never left Ron, both of them fuming.
Draco knocked softly and pressed his ear to the door. “Hermione, love, can you open the door?”
“This is your fault,” Ron sneered at Harry. “You should have just let her hide down here with her new friends.”
“ My fault!?” Harry cried. “You're the one who started screaming at her!”
“Oi, you two, can it!” Draco shouted behind him, silencing the boys for at least a moment so that he could hear. He pressed his ear to the door again and heard the faintest sobs on the other side.
“Stop. Make it stop. Make it stop.”
“Right, you two, out!” He jumped into action, shoving the Gryffindors towards the door. “Go scream at each other in your own dorms.”
“Get off me!” Ron hissed, shoving back.
“Weasley, don't test me.” Draco snarled, itching to draw his wand and banish the ginger before he could upset Hermione any more.
“Okay, everyone needs to calm down,” Theo intervened again, stepping between Ron and Draco.
Before anyone could argue with him, he took the Gryffindors by their arms and pulled them into the corridor, closing the door behind him.
“Hermione, they're gone, it's alright now.” Draco promised. “Hermione? Baby, please let me in.”
On the other side of the door, Hermione sat with her knees tucked up to her chest, her hands clamped over her ears, verging on hyperventilating.
“Stop,” she panted. “Stop. Stop. Stop.”
“Hermione, love, listen to me,” Draco pleaded with her through the door. “I need you to open the door and let me in.”
Hermione sobbed and Draco felt his heart rise up into his throat.
“Baby, listen, I'm going to open the door.” He warned, deciding it was best just to force his way in. “Okay, it's just me. You're okay.”
Muttering a quick 'alohomora', he turned the handle and slowly began pushing it open, knowing that she was leaning against it.
“No! Stop!” she choked, scrambling across the floor.
Draco spoke softly, crouching down and holding his hands out to her. “Baby, listen, it's just me. No one else is here, you're safe.”
“Please don't,” Hermione sobbed, pressing herself into a corner just like she had the night after they escaped the Manor. “Please.”
“Hermione-” his voice cracked as he took in the broken girl in front of him. “Hermione listen to me. You're safe. It's just us, just Hermione and Draco. No one else. No one's going to hurt you.”
She shook her head vigorously, no longer able to speak.
“Hermione, look at me,” Draco ordered, his voice still soft and calm, but stern. “Baby, look at me, please. Please, love.”
He tossed his wand aside and continued moving closer to her. When he put his hand on her arm and she flinched, he felt his heart clench.
“Shh, it's just me,” he reassured her. “You're okay, love. It's just me.”
Ignoring her attempts to get away from him and her heaving sobs, Draco pulled her into his lap and held her tightly, his hands covering hers, trying to stop her from pulling her hair.
“You're okay,” he repeated, barely holding back his own tears as he rocked her back and forth like a child. “You're okay, I've got you. You're okay, love.”
“The shouting,” Hermione gasped between sobs.
“No one's shouting anymore,” Draco promised, stroking her hair. “There isn't going to be any more shouting. You just need to take deep breaths, love. In and out.”
His legs went numb long before she had calmed down, but Draco didn't care, he just needed her to stop crying.
“I'm sorry.” Hermione choked out eventually, her voice thick with emotion.
Draco hushed her immediately, but she pushed on.
“I'm sorry,” she repeated. “I'm sorry you keep having to take care of me, and I'm sorry I'm such a mess and-”
Draco cut her off with a kiss before she could pick up speed, his hand coming up to cup her cheek.
“First of all,” he rested his forehead against hers, his thumb stroking her cheek softly. “You have absolutely nothing to be sorry for. Second, you're not a mess. And lastly, I'm perfectly happy to take care of you, seeing as how I'm your boyfriend and you've taken care of me, Merlin only knows how many times.”
“It's not the same,” she shook her head.
“You're right, I was far nastier to you,” Draco agreed. “I believe there were quite a few times when you had to disarm me.” He smirked as a hint of a smile appeared on her lips, then frowned when her mouth dropped again.
“I don't have my wand,” she realized, looking frantic.
“You left it on the bed, but mine is over there if you want it.” He nodded in the direction of the bathtub, where he had thrown his wand. “You’re okay, though, you're safe.”
Hermione took a shaky breath and nodded, taking his hand and threading their fingers together.
“What happened, love?” Draco finally asked, hoping she had calmed down enough to tell him.
“Ron was angry with me- for staying down here, instead of in the tower,” she explained quietly. “Harry told him to stop, but that made him angrier and they started shouting and I just- they wouldn't stop and I couldn't breathe.”
Draco could tell that she was starting to get worked up again, not having fully calmed down from the first panic attack, so he rested his forehead against hers again and continued stroking her cheek.
“It's okay,” he assured her. “Just take a breath.”
“They wouldn't stop,” she repeated.
“I know,” he stroked her hair. “But they're gone now. I kicked them out on their sorry asses, and there won’t be any more shouting.”
Hermione nodded again, slowly relaxing against him. “I feel like I'm going mad,” she sobbed. “Like I'm actually losing my mind.”
“You're not,” Draco promised. “It's going to get better. It just takes time.”
They stayed curled up on the bathroom floor until Theo poked his head in, a roll of parchment in his hand.
“Alright?” he asked carefully.
Draco gave him a nod. “Yeah, we're alright.”
“McGonagall wants to see you in her office whenever you're up to it, then.” He handed Draco the scroll, then turned and left them alone again.
“I don't have any clothes,” Hermione muttered as the door shut behind him.
“Sorry?” Draco looked down at her, frowning.
“My- my clothes from yesterday, they're barely even clothes anymore,” she explained. “I don't have anything to wear.”
“Well, oddly enough, I've heard that you're a rather talented witch.” He smirked in that special way that made her want to smack him and jump him all at once, and Hermione felt her own lips pull into a tiny smile.
“I'm sure if you wrack that pretty little head of yours,” Draco continued, “you'll be able to come up with some sort of spell to transfigure yourself a pair of jeans.”
She laughed softly and got to her feet, offering her hand to him. “You haven't been able to feel your legs in ages, have you?”
“Nope.”
Hermione grinned and pulled his arm around her shoulders, attempting to hold him up until he got feeling back- she wasn't much help, however, and they both ended up falling onto his bed in a tangled heap, shaking with laughter.