Chapter Text
The Siberian winter's biting cold and blanketing snow was not unknown to Cinder; in fact, it felt not far from home. Perhaps this was because this was his home now, despite growing up in Moscow.
Cinder was traveling through the Siberian tundra on foot, flitting through the snow at breakneck speeds, his scarf whipping behind him like a banner in a stiff wind.
This had better be worth my time, Cinder thought sourly.
The vampire who had requested this favor was always in good standing with Cinder, so he had begrudgingly accepted to run this errand without much complaint. Although, the appeal of traveling hours going to some unknown vampire's home just to deliver some letters wasn't at the top of his to-do list. The letters were a mystery to Cinder, but they must be important to the older vampire. Although not important enough to come on his own, apparently. Cinder rolled his eyes as he ran.
Cinder knew he would be approaching his destination soon enough and a thrill of excitement went through him as he ran. He wanted to be home, wanted to be around his found family and enjoy some blood wine and relax after the trip. It was then that he caught a faint scent in the air that immediately made his mouth water with anticipation, much more than any amount of blood wine could. Stopping mid-sprint, Cinder easily caught the trail of two humans backpacking nearby.
Stupid humans, Cinder thought, so far from the trail they would probably die anyway within a few days or less at the rate they were going. Better to put them out of their misery now, as well as quench his thirst. Two birds with one stone. Or two humans with two fangs. Cinder smiled as he drew near.
As Cinder approached Elysia and his home, he could feel it in his veins. The sense of brotherhood and welcoming was unmistakable. He could almost feel it in the air, and he could certainly feel it in the slight thrum in the mark on his wrist. Elysia was always the ultimate home for a vampire.
Vikas was a huge part of that as well, being his closest friend and confidant. The older vampire was wise and strong, always up for training and talking, or really anything Cinder needed him for. Cinder smiled somewhat wistfully as he thought of how he'd come to know Vikas. Anyway, he was grateful to have him now.
Slowing from his run, Cinder advanced down the valley towards the waiting village below. He saw several vampires as he meandered through the snowy streets, but none spoke to him, only offered nods of greeting. Cinder returned them, eager to get back to the dining hall and return to Vikas and tell him all about his errand.
When Cinder touched the glyph that opened the door and entered the large cabin that served as the dining hall, though, something was different. Just as always, there were cheers of welcome as he entered, but as Cinder's eyes found Vikas at the far end of the table, he noticed what had changed.
Sitting on Vikas' right was a blond vampire who Cinder had never seen before but who Vikas obviously knew well. They laughed and chatted animatedly as Cinder's eyes kept going to the other newcomer. On Vikas' left was... a boy. A vampire who looked to be about Cinder's own age.
Approaching the table, Cinder stopped a few feet away and took a few calming breaths. Then he took the last few steps to Vikas' side.
"Welcome back, Cinder!" Vikas said merrily, obviously in good spirits in the presence of the new vampires. "How was the trip? Come, pull up a chair!"
Nodding self-consciously under the gaze of the blond vampire and the one his age, Cinder sat at the table on Vikas' left, next to the boy. The new boy looked embarrassed, and he was close enough for Cinder to touch had he wanted to. For some reason, this thought made Cinder want to blush, but he couldn't say why.
Tristian brought a goblet of spiced blood to Cinder as he settled into his chair, shrugging off his heavy coat and scarf. Cinder smiled his thanks to Vikas' drudge, but he didn't drink any of it just yet. He was still full from his earlier meal and was also nervous for some unknown reason.
Vikas chatted happily with his new guests, and Cinder stole glances at the vampire next to him. He seemed somewhat nervous, and as the newcomer inspected his goblet of spiced blood wine, Cinder mustered up the courage to speak to him. After all, it's not every day you see a young vampire like this. That must be the reason for his odd behavior, Cinder reasoned with himself.
Just as the boy brought the cup to his lips, Cinder said hello.
The boy nearly choked on the blood, and after a second of spluttering, he smiled anxiously at Cinder. "Hi," he said, embarrassed.
"I'm Cinder," the vampire said, a blush coloring his cheeks as the other boy wiped away some blood from his chin with the back of his hand.
"Ah, Cinder, where is my head? I must introduce you to my guests. This is Otis, and his nephew, Vladimir," Vikas introduced, and then it clicked in Cinder's mind. This was Otis Otis, the vampire he'd heard much about over the years who was almost like a brother to Vikas for a long time. He had never been told about a nephew, though. Vladimir must have been newly turned.
"I'm Vlad," the younger vampire said, and as Cinder looked back at him, he could swear that the other boy had the hint of a blush in his cheeks as well. Vlad reached up to rub the back of his neck in a nervous gesture, and he bit his lip cutely. Cinder resisted the urge to drop his jaw like a fool at the sight.
"So, uh," Cinder was flustered all of a sudden, and because he couldn't quite pinpoint his accent asked, "Where are you from?"
"I'm from-" Vlad's voice was cut off by a question of Vikas' that Cinder was only partially paying attention to. The boy held up a finger to Cinder as if to say 'one moment.' Cinder looked down at his hands, taking deep breaths. What was it about Vlad that had him feeling so discombobulated?
Cinder kept waiting for Vlad to turn back to him, to continue their conversation. There was something about the other vampire that was appealing in a way Cinder was largely unfamiliar with.
Finally, Vlad turned back to Cinder with an apologetic smile, hunching his shoulders slightly as if in embarrassment.
"Sorry," Vlad smiled shyly, "I'm from a town called Bathory. It's in America."
Cinder nodded thoughtfully, putting the pieces together. He had thought Vlad sounded foreign, after all, despite having a Russian name. So Vlad must be visiting from America for some reason. Cinder wondered how much time he would have to be around this magnetizing boy before he left. A pang of something deep within his chest caught Cinder off guard as he followed this train of thought.
Something must have shown across Cinder's face because Vlad suddenly looked concerned. "Are you alright?"
Cinder nodded, collecting himself before answering the other young vampire. "I'm fine. I'm from Moscow, by the way, but now I live here with Vikas." Cinder said, directing the conversation away from his odd behavior.
Vlad smiled, another spark of amazement in his grey eyes. He reached for his goblet of blood, and Cinder went for his own, wishing to combat the sudden dryness in his mouth.
Cinder sipped the liquid, nearly moaning as the sweet taste of warm blood and spices flooded his mouth. It took him a moment to notice Vlad staring at him, an eyebrow raised. Now it was Cinder's turn not to choke on the drink.
"What?" Cinder asked and laughed, and Vlad was laughing right along with him. Vlad's black hair fell into his eyes, and Cinder wanted nothing more than to reach out and brush it from his face, just to get a feel of it, or a glance of his skin against his fingers.
At this strange thought, Cinder looked down, a sense of inexplicable guilt twisting his stomach and confusion churning his mind like troubled seas.
What is wrong with me? Cinder pondered silently. He feels Vlad's hand touch his shoulder, and he looked up, eyes widening infinitesimally. Why am I being this way?
The look of concern on Vlad's face makes Cinder feel even more strange.
"I have to go," Cinder says suddenly, getting up, and he almost flinches at the look of hurt that crosses Vlad's face.
"Oh, alright," Vlad says with obvious disappointment in his voice. "See you later."
"See you. And Vlad?" Cinder says as he turns to go. Vlad looks up at him, a hopeful sort of expression on his pale face. "Don't leave without saying goodbye to me, okay?"
"Wouldn't dream of it," Vlad promises. Satisfied, Cinder walks away.
Cinder stares into the mirror in the bathroom for a while, looking into his own green eyes with barely concealed contempt. Why was he like this? How could this vampire have such an effect on him so quickly? It was weird and wrong. Cinder had never felt this way before. God, what was wrong with me? Cinder thought, Why am I acting this way?
Not knowing how long he's stood there, eventually, Cinder rubs his face with cool water and then leaves the bathroom.
When Cinder makes it back into the dining hall, things have changed again. Most of the room was in a somber mood, and when Cinder made it back to Vlad, it was obvious that the boy had been crying.
"What happened?" Cinder asks as he sits back beside the other vampire, perplexed. The sight of tears on the other boy's cheeks causes pain in Cinder's chest.
Cheeks aflame with embarrassment, Vlad rubs his face with the arm of his hoodie to clear the tears away. "Here," Cinder says, reaching out before he can stop himself, and he gently brushes the blushing boy's cheeks with his thumb, rubbing the tears away.
The two boys lock eyes, and for a moment, despite the packed room of vampires around them, it's just the two of them.
The feel of the vampire boy's tear-dampened skin under the gentle pressure of his fingers causes strange feelings to stir in Cinder yet again. Vlad's eyes are pleading and almost desperate in their intensity.
The moment is broken when two people clear their throats very loudly simultaneously. Cinder pulls away from Vlad, eyes wide in shock at his actions.
"Vladimir?" the blond vampire asks, raising an eyebrow almost comically. Vikas was the other throat clearer, and he looks confused but, at the same time, knowing.
"Uh," Vlad stumbles over his words, "I'm sorry, what?"
Cinder can't help but smile discreetly at how adorable it is.
"Cinder," Vikas scolds, giving the vampire a pointed look, "Vladimir has shared some very sad news with us."
Cinder looked back at Vlad, his brows coming together in concern. Vlad looked like he wanted to cry again.
"My father, Tomas... He's dead. Both my parents are." Vlad closes his eyes against an onslaught of painful thoughts, and Cinder finds himself wanting to comfort him. Not sure if he wants to be touched, Cinder keeps his hands to himself despite the urge to want to help. Cinder only knows all too well the feeling of losing his parents.
"Tomorrow, we are honoring Tomas with a funeral pyre," Vikas explains, and Vlad sniffles momentarily. Cinder keeps his eyes on Vlad as he takes in the information.
"Will you be there?" Vlad asks Cinder suddenly, and although he is hunched in his chair, Cinder can plainly see the desperation in his face.
"Of course, if you want me to be," Cinder promises.
"Yes, please," Vlad says and offers a small, almost indistinguishable smile, even as tears dry on his cheeks.
"Tomorrow, we mourn for our lost brother," Vikas adds, "so we rest tonight in preparation."
With that, the gathered vampires disperse, and as Cinder crosses the room to leave, he gives Vlad one more smile of encouragement.
The next day, when Cinder wasn't sleeping, he spent his daylight hours thinking about Vlad. He somehow feared that the unfortunate but mesmerizing boy would become a permanent fixture in his thoughts. The worst part was that his dreams were all about the boy as well.
What was it about Vlad that was affecting him this way? Was it his grey eyes that Cinder had seen filled with both laughter and sorrow within an hour of each other? Was it his smile with those adorable fangs or his hair that looked so soft to the touch?
This was driving him mad.
Cinder was half-tempted to go to Vikas and ask his advice but was too embarrassed and oddly ashamed to speak to anyone about it. Would they see something that's just out of sight for Cinder? Some truth, some idea that is evading him? Would they think something was wrong with him?
Nighttime falls eventually, and Cinder retains his sanity for the most part after the long hours. He wraps up and exits the room, knowing Vikas will want him to help with the funeral preparations.
Going outside into the cold Siberian elements, Cinder sees Vikas and a few other vampires cutting wood for the pyre. Cinder notices Vlad among them and walks up, not sure of what to say.
"Hi, Vlad," Cinder begins. Vlad turns to Cinder, and a small, sheepish smile crosses his face. Cinder smiles back encouragingly. "How are you doing?"
"Could be better," he says simply.
They begin chopping wood in silence, the wind howling around them. Cinder wants to be talking to the vampire boy but holds himself back. He doesn't seem to be in much of a mood to talk right now. Better not to push him; Cinder knows he's hurting right now.
Once the wood is chopped, and the pyre is set up, Cinder notices several other vampires have joined them in the clearing, knowing they are about to start. Vlad goes to sit next to his uncle, and Cinder sits on the other side of him, hoping he won't mind.
Vikas stands before all the gathered vampires, which Cinder sees have grown in number to the point Cinder thinks that about every vampire in town is here. Vikas begins speaking.
His words are beautiful and moving, and Cinder feels he's missed out on knowing such a fantastic man. Whenever he looks over at Vlad, he seems to be on the verge of tears. Cinder wants to take the pain away from him. Without much thought, he reaches out a hand and gently rests it on Vlad's.
Vlad looks surprised for a moment, but then he surprises both of them by grabbing onto Cinder's hand like a lifeline, holding it tight and strong in the steely grip of the desperate. Cinder holds on, letting him squeeze his hand. Where his skin touches Cinder's, it feels like electricity is buzzing through his nerve endings, and it doesn't feel unpleasant.
When Vikas finishes speaking, the vampires each stand and either leave or say their last goodbyes to Tomas Tod up by the pyre. Once everyone else has gone, Cinder stays by Vlad's side until he stands to say his goodbye to his father. Cinder hangs back, not wanting to spoil the moment. He doesn't listen in, even though he could have.
Vlad returns to stand by his uncle, Vikas, and Cinder. He has glistening tears on his cheeks, and Cinder wants to wipe them away, but he doesn't. Instead, he hesitantly grasps hold of Vlad's hand again, trying to be inconspicuous in front of the present company. Vlad holds Cinder's hand weakly as if he doesn't have any strength left in him, as if he poured out everything in him as he spoke to his dad's funeral pyre. Cinder doesn't blame him. Saying goodbye to your parents can be the most challenging thing imaginable.
They all head back to Vikas's cabin where a great feast is starting, but Cinder pulls Vlad away from the gathering vampires, into his room.
"Cinder, I-" Vlad begins to protest, but Cinder pulls him into a hug so fierce he's stunned into silence. His arms go around Cinder, and he can feel Vlad's heartbeat against his own chest. Something is so comforting about that; Cinder relishes in the moment.
"I'm sorry, Vlad," Cinder says sincerely as he reluctantly pulls apart from the other boy, leaving his hands loosely circling Vlad's wrists, keeping some kind of connection. He couldn't bear it if they were parted right now.
"It's- it's..." Cinder sees him fighting for words, and struggling against emotion, so he lifts up a finger to the grieving vampire's lips.
"It's okay; you don't have to lie to me. You don't have to say, 'it's alright.' I know it isn't." Cinder slowly trails his finger down his lips and cups Vlad's face in his chilled hand. He leans into it like it's the only thing keeping him standing.
"Thank you, Cinder," Vlad whispers and moves closer to Cinder. Cinder's heart beats frantically in his chest at the proximity. He's so close that he could easily lean in and press his lips to Vlad's. The idea of it makes Cinder vaguely dizzy. He could kiss him - is he actually thinking this? - quickly, just to see how it would feel. Would it be wrong to do so when he's grieving over his father? Would he be taking advantage of his compromised emotional state? Part of him doesn't know.
The tears have stopped falling down Vlad's face, but wetness remains. Cinder wipes the tears away with his ever-so-slightly trembling fingers.
"Vlad?" Cinder ventures to say, not entirely sure what he will ask.
"Yes?"
"Can I...?" He can't make the words come out. Cinder takes a deep breath, seeing curiosity on Vlad's face. God, he's so cute. Even as he thinks it, he feels guilty for the thought. How can he be thinking this about a boy?
"Can you what?" Vlad presses, gently rubbing his face against Cinder's hand still pressed to his cheek. Cinder doesn't know if he means anything by the gesture or if it was reflexive, but it feels important.
"Do this..." Cinder says and gathers all his courage. He leans in close, closing the space between them as his lips press against Vlad's. His lips part in a gasp. Cinder pulls away immediately, completely stunned with himself for acting on the impulse.
"Cinder..." Vlad whispers, their faces still somewhat close. He feels beyond mortified.
"I- I'm sorry, I just... I've been thinking about doing that since we met. I understand if you don't want anything to do with me," Cinder says, trying to smooth over the face that he just kissed a boy - kissed Vlad.
"Shh..." Vlad shushes and then leans in again, pressing his soft lips against Cinder's own. He feels electrified, completely stunned, but gets over it fast, kissing him back, feeling Vlad's hands pull him closer, desperate to be against the other boy. Cinder reaches up and tangles his fingers in his silky black hair.
Cinder doesn't know what he's doing. Still, he thinks Vlad likes it by the way he holds Cinder against his body and licks his bottom lip, then nibbles it a little, causing all kinds of feelings to emerge within Cinder. He keeps kissing him until they need to pull away for air. Cinder opens his eyes to see Vlad's flushed face, see the hint of blood on his lip where he nibbled Cinder, and his fang must have cut him. Breathing heavily, Cinder misses his kiss already, even though it's only been moments that they've been apart.
Cinder takes a step closer and grabs Vlad's hand, holding it softly.
"Vlad," Cinder breathes his name, mouth caressing the word.
"What?" Vlad opens his eyes and looks at him, looking dazed yet content.
"What just happened?" Cinder's voice is still a whisper in the dim light, and guilt floods him. He's just kissed a boy.
"I don't know, but I liked it," Vlad says and smiles sheepishly. Cinder sees a blush in Vlad's cheeks in the twilight. He can't let himself feel happy about what just happened because he doesn't understand it. "Kiss me again," he pleads, reaching out and gripping Cinder's jacket. Cinder can see the desperation in Vlad's eyes, a wild hunger that he knows is also in his eyes.
Although he knows he's crossing a line that can't be uncrossed, Cinder steps forward and presses his lips to Vlad's again, using his hands to push Vlad backward gently, guiding him to the wall. He then shoves his body against Vlad's, pinning him to the wall behind him. Cinder hears a low noise of pleasure in Vlad's throat, which gives him confidence. He trails kisses down Vlad's jaw onto his neck, kissing, licking, and sucking.
"P-please..." Vlad begs, and Cinder doesn't know what he's praying for. Yet Cinder gently nibbles the skin of his neck, his fangs barely scraping his throat, causing him to shudder violently.
I'm doing this; I'm kissing a boy, enjoying it, giving him everything, Cinder thinks. And in accepting this, Cinder is giving up any reservations about it. Who the hell cares if Vlad is a guy? Cinder wants this, wants him. He shouldn't torture himself for the thoughts and actions because they feel so natural - so right.
Moving his mouth back to Vlad's, Cinders lets him lead the kiss, feeling the burning desire and desperation behind his movements. He grips Cinder's shirt, pulling him close. Cinder presses against him, giving him what he wants. Their bodies are flush together against the wall, so close, but for the barrier of their clothes. Cinder knows he won't take them off and knows for certain he's not crossing that line today, but this is a good start. Cinder hopes he has a long time to enjoy Vlad's company and get closer to him.
Vlad tangles his fingers in Cinder's hair, causing the boy to moan involuntarily against Vlad's mouth as he gently tugs on his hair.
A knock on the door has Cinder scrambling backwards, ripping out of Vlad's grasp, hastily smoothing down his clothes and wiping his face; as if he can wipe away any evidence of the kisses they had shared.
"Cinder?" Vikas's voice comes from the doorway as the door swings wide. "Vlad?" His voice holds a tone of questioning as he sees the boys in the room together. Thankfully, he doesn't comment on his thoughts. Cinder guesses he probably has his suspicions but is kind enough not to bring them up now and mortify the teenagers. "You're missing the feast!" Vikas says and waves them forward.
Vlad and Cinder follow Vikas out to the dining hall, and take their seats at the table, same as yesterday. They keep a healthy distance between each other, scared someone will guess what we were doing alone in Cinder's room. No one says anything, but Cinder can see a keen look in Vikas's wise eyes.
Cinder drinks plenty of blood wine, feeling the buzz in my veins whenever he meets Vlad's eyes. They both end up blushing and looking away after a moment every time they look at each other.
Will I ever be the same after what had happened? Cinder thinks. Will I ever see the world the same way? Will I ever stop wanting him?
He had accepted what happened, and that feels like a massive weight off his shoulders, but he still has a million thoughts going through his head about it. Vlad kissed Cinder back, but does he feel as strongly as Cinder? Only time will tell...
Hopefully, he has a long time ahead of him to spend with Vlad. Hopefully, forever.