Work Text:
“I only got a 90 on the test cuz I got one problem wrong. But Mrs. McKee still gave me a gold star for getting an A.”
“It’s a great score, buddy. What else happened today?”
“I have a spelling test tomorrow; Uncle Sam helped me memorize all the words. We talked about clouds in science class. Daddy, did you know the big, gray, rainy ones are called cumulonimbus clouds? I get to write a report about a hero and I chose Agent Emily. You're a hero too Daddy but she saved the universe. Oh, and Aunt Jessie made spaghetti for dinner. It was delicious.”
“Aunt Jessie’s spaghetti is the best.” Hotch replied. “I’ll pick you up tomorrow and we’ll hang out all weekend. Maybe Agent Emily can come over and give you a good story for your report.”
“OK.” Jack sounded excited to hear that. “I love you, Daddy.”
“I love you too. Don’t forget to say your prayers and have sweet dreams.”
“You have sweet dreams too. Can we have burgers and fries for dinner tomorrow?”
“I think that’s a really good idea. Be good for Aunt Jessie and Uncle Sam, OK?”
“OK Daddy. Wanna talk to Uncle Sam now?”
“Yes I do. Goodnight Jack Jack.”
“Goodnight, I love you; bye.”
“Aaron?” Sam picked up the phone.
“Sam I don’t even know how to thank you for this.”
“What are you thanking me for now? You do not have to do that for the rest of your life. We've had this conversation.”
“You and Jessie do so much…you go above and beyond. Tonight isn’t even about my working. I'm…”
“You're trying to have a life.” Sam said. “We support you in that.”
“I know you want to be alone with your wife too.”
“Both kids will be sound asleep in a half hour. Jessie and I will have all the alone time we need. You have a good night.”
“Thanks Sam, you too.” Hotch hung up his cell phone and left it on the nightstand. When he walked back out to the living room, the smell of popcorn filled the air. Beth had cracked the two windows. “Did it burn?”
“No, I was just choking from the scent of artificial butter. It came out perfectly as a matter of fact. That popcorn button on your microwave is a shameless hussy though; just thought you should know. Is Jack alright?”
“He had a great day at school.”
“That’s good.” She smiled. “I remember second grade. It mostly stands out because I played Gus in Cinderella. My dad spent months helping me work on those lines. To him, it was my Olivier moment. To me, it was human torture.”
“I told him we were going to spend the weekend together.” he came and joined her on the couch. “I'm not going to let work stop us because I don’t know what next week will bring. Jessie and Sam have been there for everything and its time for me to step up too. This job takes me away too much.”
“And here I am stealing some of your time as well.”
“It’s not easy to balance everything.” Hotch put his arm around her shoulder. “I'm tap-dancing as fast as I can.”
“Stop it as of right now.” Beth snuggled close. “Tonight is all about relaxing. We make the most of whatever time we have.”
Hotch sighed, kissing her forehead. Sometimes he felt like a bad father. He knew he wasn’t as bad as his own was at times. But that didn’t mean Jack was always going to look at him as a hero.
He went off to save other people while his son fell through the cracks. That was one of Hotch’s worse fears. He didn’t even know if he had the right to be a boyfriend at all, even a mediocre one. Women had been doing this for a long time. They juggled kids, work, and trying to have a life.
Some succeeded and some failed. He had no idea what his score would be. It was nearly May…he felt he and Beth were in a relationship. That made Hotch happy while scaring the hell out of him. Most of the time she seemed as cool as a cucumber.
“What movie are we watching tonight?” he asked.
“Last Chance Harvey…you haven’t seen it have you?”
“Nope.” Hotch shook his head as he stifled a yawn.
“And you might not see it tonight either.”
“I promise to stay awake.”
“What do I get if you don’t?” Beth asked. When she smiled, her dimples came out in full force and her blue eyes lit up.
“Nothing, unfortunately, since I’ll be asleep.”
“Oh don’t fool yourself, Agent Hotchner, anything you can do I can do pretty damn well.”
“I’d pay to see that.” he was grinning too.
“I like you so much I’ll let you see for free. You want another beer?”
“Yes, thank you.”
She reluctantly moved out of his arms while pushing play on the DVD player. Tonight was all about popcorn, beer, rom-coms, and a little alone time. Beth had been looking forward to it for nearly two weeks. Grabbing two bottles of Sam Adams, she went back to the couch and his arms.
This time Hotch wrapped both arms around her as they relaxed. Beth rested her head on his chest, letting out a happy sigh. She knew what she was feeling…sometimes it was hard not to shout it out. Tonight being quiet and content in his arms would be enough.
***
“Shirt off.” Beth said laughing as she pulled the tee shirt over Hotch’s head.
He turned the lamp off but she didn’t mind. She knew that the scars bothered him, Beth couldn’t blame him. Just that he had some level of comfort being shirtless in front of her was important. The way he sighed when she ran her hands down his chest made them both shiver.
Hotch had dozed during the movie but managed to enjoy most of it. Beth didn’t fault him…it had been a long week for both of them. She wasn’t ashamed to admit, even if only talking to herself, that she hoped he’d get a second wind by bedtime. Her desire for him had increased tenfold since they'd become intimate. That meant at this point that it was nearly immeasurable.
“In the interest of reciprocity…” Hotch pulled Beth close and kissed her. When she held her arms over her head it made him laugh. Her tee shirt, which was his tee shirt, came off quickly. When she wore his clothes it was such a turn on. When she came out of his clothes…oh my God! Hotch stroked her skin, leaning to kiss her collarbone. “Damn.”
“What?” Beth took his face in her hands. She loved his stubbly skin.
“I love kissing you. I love touching you. I love the way your skin smells; so clean and womanly.”
“There's a lot of love in this room, Aaron Hotchner.”
“Mmm hmm,” he ran his hands over her upper body. Hotch stroked, pinched, and tickled. Beth rested her forehead on his shoulder. First she moaned, then laughed, and then moaned again. Beth wrapped her arms around him, stroking his neck.
“When you touch me…” he whispered. The rest of the words were gone, lost in the maelstrom of everything he was feeling.
“Tell me where you want me to touch you.”
“Anywhere you damn well please.” Hotch laughed some.
“Do you care to be more specific?”
“Uh uh.” He shook his head. “I know you're a creative woman. Be creative, Beth.”
“I think that’s just a euphemism for be a dirty girl.”
She laughed as her hand stroked the front of his boxer briefs. Hotch trembled and moaned. His hips thrust against her touch. She was both gentle and insistent.
It had been so damn long since someone touched him like that; made him feel that way. Beth gently moved him on his back. She kissed her way down his chest. She nibbled, licked, and bit. The boxer briefs came down his legs and Beth palmed his erection.
“Ohhh yeah.” his eyes fluttered shut as his back arched.
She didn’t mind teasing, playing, and driving him crazy. But she wanted him. She needed him and they could play games later. She took him deep down her throat, loving the noises he made.
It felt just as good as Beth imagined it would. He was long, strong, lean, and perfect. Her mother always told her that nobody’s perfect but she was wrong. Scars and all, Aaron Hotchner’s body was perfect.
“Ohhh baby, oh God, don’t stop.”
Hotch could admit, though only to himself, that he’d fantasized about this moment since their first night together. He’d probably been fantasizing about it since the first time her lips touched his. Beth taking control was sexy. The way she stroked and sucked made him want to go mad.
Beth wasn’t shy at all. She toned things down for Hotch; slowed down so they stayed on the same page. In bed, that philosophy went out of the window. Hotch wasn’t prepared to complain one bit.
“Damn you taste so good.” She murmured after making him come like a man half his age.
Kissing her way up, Beth lingered on his scars. Hotch was too dazed to stop whatever might happen. She kissed all nine, made them hers, before making a straight line of kisses all the way back to his mouth. Hotch wrapped his arms around her back as their kisses intensified. Beth ran her fingers through his hair.
“Beth,” he whispered with his lips still close to hers.
“Yes?”
“I…I'm so glad we’re together tonight.”
“I want to be selfish sometimes and have you to myself a little more.”
“I know.” Hotch kissed her again as Beth settled into his arms. “This isn’t always easy.”
“But I'm not going anywhere.”
“So many of us try, and fail, to have fulfilling intimate relationships. Being a profiler isn’t what I do, it’s who I am.”
“Well I do and am a lot of different things, Aaron. One of them is the woman falling in love with you.”
Beth couldn’t stop the words from coming out of her mouth even if she wanted to. And she had definitely wanted to. She knew that lately she had been finding a million long winded ways to say it because it was all a little scary. A part of her didn’t want to be so careful anymore.
Why not put it on the table? That didn’t mean he had to respond in kind. It didn’t mean she was suddenly going to pressure Aaron to be something that he wasn’t. It just meant that Beth didn’t like holding back certain things. As much as she had to let him be himself in this relationship, she had to be herself too.
“Yeah.” he replied, kissing her forehead.
“Wow, I’ll take awkward one word answers to stunning declarations for $200, Alex.”
Hotch laughed. He just laughed and it was hard to stop. Soon she was laughing too and he was rolling them on the mattress so that he was on top of her. He loved her face. He loved her smile and the joy he felt in the pit of his stomach when he knew that she was happy.
Hotch didn’t know if that was love and he wasn’t ready to say that it was. He knew it was something though. It was special and it was growing stronger. He wasn’t going anywhere either, though he wasn’t sure that Beth was really going to be able to hang. That scared him; losing her scared him.
Was that love? Who knew? He’d only ever loved one person before and lost her in the most horrible way. They were already divorced and their relationship was contentious at the end.
Hotch didn’t want that with Beth. It couldn’t be all butterflies and love songs but he wanted to be happy with her. He wanted what they had in this bed right now. That wasn’t realistic but Aaron Hotchner had had enough reality to last a lifetime.
“I care about you…I want you in my life.”
“I am in your life.” She said.
“OK.”
He needed to show her; words were failing him. It was hard to say what he was feeling. It came to him in words that wouldn’t make sense if he tried to make them into sentences. Alive. Smitten. Joyous. Scared. Excited. Calm. What the hell did that even mean?
But with his body, with his body she could feel what he felt. Sometimes words weren't enough anyway. You could talk and talk and talk some more but never be understood. Hotch knew there was no way for Beth to misinterpret what was happening between them as he took her. Being intimate was something they both took seriously.
They waited. They waited longer than most people could even imagine these days. They wanted to make love and that’s what they’d finally done. It could still be playful, frisky, and even a little dirty. But it was definitely more than just sex.
It was all the words he couldn’t say and she wouldn’t let herself. For now it was what they had. Words would catch up because they always did. When they came it would be because their actions had already established where this relationship was headed.
Beth just held him. She held him and let him take her body to the highest heights. Did she want the words? She absolutely wanted the words.
Was she going to push it? There was no reason to. Aaron had already asked her to be with him. He’d already introduced her to his team and his son. He’d met some of her friends and seen her in action in her job.
This was real. It was slower than Beth had gone in a long time but that was OK too. This was happening, they both knew it, and they both wanted it. She really, really, really, really wanted it.
“Oh Aaron, ohhh, mmm.” She bit her lip.
No damn way was she saying I love you right now. There was time. There was time for so many things. Their schedules meant that these amazing moments were going to be few and far between for the time being. The time being wasn’t forever. If Beth had her way she and Aaron Hotchner just might be.
***