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Hello, me again! How have you been? Oh, did you forget? I don’t care. I see the Redacted Fanfiction Bingo is doing the rounds and I’ve been told that this little prompt belongs to me. What would I do? We all know the Imperium is my playground, so for this one, I’m coming over into Eriks. I want to play with your beloved bois. If it were my choice, what would I do? Well. Let’s see;
Perhaps unable to deal with the hurt he suffered, your precious Caelum has spiraled, and not even Freelancer can pick up the pieces this time.
Maybe Love wants more retribution from Marcus than a simple firing and gives him a little taste of their subjugation? Maybe that’s something of a different deal.
Or how do you think Damien would cope if he had failed in the Stadium, and his inability to control himself around Kody had gotten Huxley killed before they had confessed their feelings?
All very good questions, and ones I may come back to another time, perhaps. We’ll see. But for now, let’s go and pay a visit to Milo. Welcome to a world where Milo didn’t get his wolf back.
Sweetheart nearly tripped over Aggro as they tried to come in the front door. As soon as they opened it, the vocal cat was in their way, winding his way between their feet making his presence known.
“Alright, alright! What’s up?”
The cat darted to and fro, until Sweetheart had eased off their shoes, and followed the cat to the bathroom door, where they could hear Milo.
“Come on, come on ! Please!”
They crouched and scratched behind his ears.
“Well done Aggro. I’ll look after him from here.”
Apparently satisfied, Aggro took off for the couch. Sweetheart stood up, and knocked.
“What?”
“I’m back, love. Are you alright?” They leaned their head against the door.
“I - I didn’t know you got home already. No, I’m fine. I’ll be out in a sec. Hang on.”
Through the closed door Sweetheart could hear the sink running, and they opened it carefully, with concern. Milo looked up just wearing a pair of dark blue boxers. He looked guilty, startled and puffy eyed. He tried to pass it off with an unconvincing laugh, a weak smile, and turned the water off.
“Hey! I said I’d be out in a minute. I’m damn near naked, ya perv.”
Sweetheart knew Milo wasn’t shy about his body, he’d take any chance to show it off to his appreciative Mate, in fact. They weren’t looking at his body at the moment though. They were looking at the fake smile plastered on his face that didn’t reach his eyes. The tears that were just about held in check, and the slight shake in his hand as he steadied himself on the sink.
It took a little while but Sweetheart convinced Milo to bridge with them. As they’d reached out to their struggling boyfriend, trying to brush his threads and coerce them to reach back in turn, a sick feeling sunk into them. It hadn’t worked. It wasn’t going to, ever. Milo’s threads were just too damaged. Sweetheart tried to reinforce his threads with their own magic, but every time they tried, the ends became more and more frayed, spreading out, dissipating. His wolf snapped faintly behind them but the teeth were ephemeral and soon faded away. Afraid of doing more harm than good, Sweetheart withdrew softly.
Milo looked up, wrapped in the warmth of their arms.
“S-Sweetheart? We can try again later can’t we, I mean, I’m just tired. I was in here an hour before you even got in, the healers said I need to take it easy. Hah, takin’ it easy never was my strong point.”
Sweetheart buried their head in his hair and tightened their hold. How could they tell him they couldn’t reach his wolf? Perhaps they didn’t have to. Maybe it would still mend on its own? Sweetheart held onto the lies for themselves as much as Milo, and reassured him that they could work on it together. It could have been a lie they both could have lived with. Except lies have a way of coming apart.
“How's he doing? It’s been what, 8 months now?” David cornered Sweetheart at a pack meeting, having made sure Asher had fully distracted Milo.
“Yeah, we’re working on it. It’s a long road to recovery, but he’ll get there.” Sweetheart looked up and to the side in an unconscious move that David was quick to catch on to.
The pack Alpha folded his arms and leaned in, glaring at them.
“You know I’m not stupid, right? I’ve seen the way you look at him when he’s not looking at you. Every time I ask you about him your voice goes up an octave. You’re lying. Now, I’ll ask you again and this time I want the truth.”
Sweetheart stared back at David. “Ask him! He’ll tell you he’s fine!”
David snorted. “I have. He thinks he IS fine, or will be, anyway. So why do I still think you’re lying? Don’t keep this shit from me. It’s my business as his Alpha, my concern as his friend, and god dammit if you’re lying he should know!”
Sweetheart finally broke eye contact with the increasingly frustrated man. Despite his annoyance at being lied to and kept out of the loop David put a hand on their shoulder.
“We’re his pack, which means we’re yours too. Don’t shut me out if you need me. We’ll be there for you and him.”
David’s patience was going to run thin very quickly, so Sweetheart chose not to push their luck just then and took the offer that David had extended. Pretense was becoming wearing, and they didn’t know how much longer they could keep it up. They looked around, checking on Milo’s location and nodded. Their shoulders sagged.
“I have been lying.” Sweetheart admitted. “How do I tell him his threads were frayed so badly they came apart? We bridged and they almost dissolved in front of me, David! He’s desperate to try again, but I’m too afraid that it won’t work! I don’t want to have to tell him next time is the last time, so I’ve been finding every excuse not to!”
Sweetheart stepped forwards, the weight of trying to keep the truth from Milo finally reaching breaking point, and David caught them by the tops of their arms in a half hug.
“Oh god. It’s not that bad, surely? I mean, the healers said it just needs time?” David asked quietly, rubbing their arms reassuringly.
Sweetheart shook their head. “The healers.” They laughed bitterly. “The healers haven’t bridged with him. They haven’t seen the damage like I have. I felt the ends fading out, I could barely feel his wolf any more and I’m scared that when I go in again it just won’t be there at all!”
“It…what?” Milo’s voice behind David made him snap around and Sweetheart gasped.
“Shit!” Sweetheart choked out. “Milo! You were with Asher…”
“Yeah, I was but he got distracted by something - I dont know, fuckin’ shiny I guess and wandered off so I came over. How long, Sweetheart?” Milo’s tone was cold.
Sweetheart sniffed and left David, trying to make things not seem quite so terrible, as though they hadn’t just been lying to everyone including themselves for months. Milo stepped back.
“Just…how long?” He demanded, but his voice failed, cracked and left him entirely in just three words.
“Since that time in the bathroom.” Whispered Sweetheart, “I couldn’t tell you.” They looked to the side at David for support.
“They were wrong not to tell you.” David started. “I only just found out but we can hear them out.”
Milo wasn’t interested. He coughed, gathered himself and pointed a finger at Sweetheart. “So all this time, you didn’t want to bridge with me or try again because you knew? You knew there was a good chance my wolf had left me?” His voice was broken and he didn’t look at them.
Sweetheart nodded. “ Please Milo, I couldn’t break your heart like that.”
“ Well excuse us David, but me an’ my - Mate - here have a few things to discuss. C’mon.”
Without looking at anyone, Sweetheart included, Milo walked out of the pack meeting to the car, got in without turning his head away from the windscreen and waited for Sweetheart. The drive home was in utter silence, and when they got there, Milo turned the engine off, and sat for a minute before trying to speak. He started, stopped, looked out of his window and eventually managed to get through a sentence although he still didn’t look at Sweetheart.
“Bridge with me again.”
“You want that from me?”
“Yeah. I’m pissed, but that doesn’t mean I don’t still love you. I’ll get over it. But bridge with me again and this time, be fuckin’ honest about what happens, okay?”
“Okay.”
Normally Milo would open Sweetheart’s car door for them, but this time Milo got out of the car and walked straight to the front door without hesitation. The pang of hurt made them wince a little, but Sweetheart decided it was fair enough, they deserved that one. When he heard the car door close, Milo clicked the keyfob behind him to lock the door.
“Bedroom?” Offered Sweetheart. Whenever bridging had occurred they’d chosen to do it in the comfort of their shared bed, laying down together, soft and intimate.
“Nah, couch. If you’ll forgive me, I ain’t feelin’ too cuddly right now.”
Milo toed off his shoes, and went to sit down, still not looking at Sweetheart.
He’ll have to look at me eventually. And at least he’s still speaking to me, which to be fair I might not if I’d been him. Sweetheart held on to a small shred of hope that the man they loved more than anything was forgiving enough to love them back through even this. They hadn’t missed the not so subtle way Milo hadn’t called them “Sweetheart” though. His speech was usually peppered with it and not hearing it from him hurt more than they could have believed.
Sweetheart followed, and sat next to him.
“Before we start, you gonna explain your thinkin’?” Milo asked softly, finally looking at them.
Being a Stealth, Sweetheart was used to being invisible but they had never been so relieved at being looked at. Being seen. “You heard it all, I think. I promise there was no more to it than that. My entire being hopes that when we do this, I’ll find some signs of repair.”
Milo closed his eyes. “Okay. I can accept you were tryin’ to protect me, I sorta appreciate that. It’s gonna take me a little while not to resent it, I think, but I can appreciate it. Just don’t lie to me again.”
Sweetheart had never agreed to anything so quickly or wholeheartedly.
This time when they bridged, it took longer to make any contact at all. For Sweetheart, it was like trying to make contact with an unempowered person. The wolf was faint before, but now it was barely a whisper. The threads weren’t just frayed; they were almost destroyed and unreachable by either of them. The damage wasn’t repairing itself at all. If anything, the threads were curling up and dying around the ends. Sweetheart shook as they withdrew.
This time Milo was calm.
“It’s going, isn’t it? My magic. I couldn’t feel hardly anything this time.”
Sweetheart just looked down, and held Milo’s hands in their shaking ones. He coughed.
“I’ll - I’m gonna get a drink. You want something?”
His tone was soft and they looked up. Shook their head and wondered how he was taking it better than them. Probably because Milo hadn’t been living in denial for months. He’d been taking his time to get used to losing his wolf, his magic. Sweetheart had been pretending.
When Milo went into the kitchen to get his drink, they followed. He quirked his mouth at them.
“Want somethin’? Aside from the sight of this ass, of course.”
The comment was automatic, Sweetheart knew that. They still had to bite their lip not to come back with something just as ingrained.
“I’m sorry. I’m a coward.”
Milo scoffed as he poured out some cold water from the fridge. “That ain’t true. First time we met you were fixin’ to take down a shade.” He glanced over at them and took in their anxious form.
“Look, we’ll be alright. I love you too much to let this come between us. It’ll take me some time, but let me be clear; you ever lie to me again and we’re done. Capice?”
Sweetheart felt tears prick behind their eyes. The chance they’d hoped for and they wouldn’t squander it. “Yeah, I get you. Capisco”
Milo seemed to make a decision, then opened his arms. “Come here, Sweetheart.”
__
“No!” David growled. “I won’t allow it. Out of the question.”
Sweetheart put a hand on David’s arm, only to be flung off. They hid a flinch.
“It’s not your choice.”
“I am in charge here and I'll decide what happens!” David leaned over the table in his office with a growl, ignoring the pens he sent scattering. “Milo is mine and so are you!”
Sweetheart couldn’t have loved David any more than in that moment.
“I know, we always will be. But this is how it has to be, it’s how it works. You know that. I know that.”
“Does Milo know that?”
Sweetheart didn’t answer.
“ Does he? ”
Sweetheart still didn’t answer. David stalked around to the other side of the desk, and Sweetheart took a step back.
“I can’t! I told you it wasn’t my choice. There would still be repercussions on the pack!”
David glared. “So that’s a no.”
Pushed to their limit after so long, Sweetheart snapped back at David, making the Alpha straighten in surprise. “You know what? No, he doesn’t! Because what’s going to happen? Go on, tell me! He’ll argue, he’ll fight, and in the end it will do no fucking good! I didn’t have to, but I’ve chosen this. I’ve chosen him.”
David pulled his rage back in. Contained his wolf.
“I know. He’s lucky to have you. But you should tell him, and if you don’t I will.”
“You can’t, David.”
“Is that coming from a pack member or a Department employee?”
“As a friend, David. Please don’t make it as a Department employee.”
David almost looked hurt as Sweetheart left his office.
__
“Hey sweetheart, who’s this? Your work friend you told me about?” Milo extended his hand, eager to welcome any of his Mate’s friends into their home. “Hi, I’m Milo. Whatever you heard about me, it’s all true.”
The slim man shook his hand gently, smiling at Milo’s cocky grin. “Hello Milo, it’s good to meet you at last. I’m Camelopardalis. Sleep .”
Milo crumpled to the floor where he stood, and Sweetheart was next to him in a second, gathering their Mate into their lap. They brushed his hair out of his face, and sobbed.
“Fuck, I’m sorry Milo, I’m sorry.” They came apart over his sleeping body. Camelopardalis sat down next to them, they leaned into him and he let their tears wet his robe, cradling them gently.
“I’m sorry, my friend. He’s unempowered now. You know how this works.”
“It’s cruel. He lost his magic, that’s all! How can you do this to him? To the pack? He wasn’t born unempowered, he became unempowered! The pack wouldn’t have left him.” Sweetheart wept, breaking their heart into the Serenity Daemon’s side.
“I didn’t say I agreed with it. Any unempowered person is allowed no knowledge of the magical world. It seems the Department does not differentiate between being born unempowered and becoming such.”
They looked at him angrily. “Then I’m glad I’m leaving it too. It’s arbitrary.”
When Camelopardalis looked down they gulped back their pain, not wanting him to feel it. “It’s not aimed at you. I’m scared and cross and if this is the only way I can be with Milo, even if we don’t know it, then I’ll take it. I’ll miss you, Cam.”
Camelopardalis sighed. “I shall miss you too, my friend. I will have to cut your threads last. This entire endeavor will take a lot out of me. Sleep.”
A few months later, a couple sat in a restaurant. It was a busy, popular place. Only one free table remained next to them. The waiter brought over a couple and sat them down. The man turned to the couple already eating.
“Hey. We…haven’t been here before. Can you suggest something?”
The man already eating smiled.
“Hi, yeah we’ve been here a few times. What are you in the mood for? You look like a steak kinda guy.”
The new arrival grinned.
“Obvious huh?”
The man laughed. “Well, if you like steak…this one’s good.” he pointed. “I’m Colm, by the way.”
Over dinner, the two couples talked like old friends talked. Easy, with comfortable silences. At the end of the meal, they shared a taxi back to the little town house Colm the accountant shared with his partner. David and Angel bid them goodnight and insisted on taking the taxi on, paying for the whole ride.
“He’s happy.” Angel assured David.
“Yeah. They’re both happy. Him and his Ma…partner.”
David just about stopped himself from saying “Mate”. Such an important word for a wolf, and one Milo - now Colm - would never understand.
“I’m glad they’re still together. Fuck, I miss him so much, Angel.” David threatened to spill into tears, not for the first time over Colm.
Angel put a hand on his arm.
“Me too, David. Let’s go home and tell Marie how he’s doing. She worries.”
_____________
Aww, aren’t you sorry I’m not really in charge? Aren’t these little tales just so much more fun like this? No?! Well, I’ll be seeing you on my side of the mirror soon enough, where what I say goes.