Work Text:
Colonel Blake came out of his office and headed straight for the adjoining room. "Radar, do we have any tape?"
The company clerk looked up from the letter he'd been typing. "No sir. You told me that you used the last of it."
"I did? Are you sure?"
"Yes sir. Because you asked me to order some more, only they sent ten pounds of potatoes instead."
Colonel Blake scratched his head. "Well, what did I use it on?"
Radar's cheeks flushed. "Um, a letter from your wife, sir. You tore it up and ran out of your office yelling about how your wife painted the living room green
instead of blue like you wanted."
"Oh yeah, that's right. Boy, that really burns me up! You know, she's got some nerve going behind my back like that"
Radar returned his attention to his letter. "Yes, sir."
"But why would I go and do a thing like that, just tear up a letter from Lorraine?"
"I really don't know, sir."
Blake looked at him thoughtfully. "Forget the tape, Radar."
"Um, yes sir."
"See if you can order fifty gallons of blue paint instead."
Radar looked up in surprise. "Sir?"
"Blue paint. The lightest shade you can find. If Lorraine wants a green living room, she can have her green living room, but I'll show her who's boss! It's my
office and I'll paint it any color I damn well please! I won't-"
"Sir?"
"What is it now, Radar?"
"Well, your wife is over 6500 miles away."
"Yeah? So?"
"So unless you take a picture and get the film developed and then mail her the picture, she won't be able to see what your office looks like, blue paint or no blue
paint."
Blake cursed under his breath. "Yeah, that's right. Forget the paint."
"Yes sir."
"Order ten boxes of golf balls instead."
"Golf balls?"
"Yeah, I feel like hitting something!"
Radar grabbed a piece of paper and a pen. "Ten boxes of golf balls. Anything else?"
"Those potatoes. Where are they?"
"Um, in the kitchen sir. Most likely. Klinger was the one who accepted the shipment."
Blake took a puff of his cigar. "Good. I'll practice with those first."
~Fin~