Chapter Text
March 1985
**
The letter arrived, pretty as you please, in the morning post. Tegan had found it on the stoop of her flat hidden under a few bills and a credit application. She stood in her doorway, in her favorite denim and jumper and stared at the offending piece of parchment.
She knew that it wasn’t from any of her friends from around this area; who the hell would write on old fashioned parchment? And, for heaven’s sake, use an old-fashioned wax seal? No, no, it wasn’t any of her friends or family.
She closed the door and set down the other papers on the sofa.
As she looked at the wax seal, she suddenly knew the sender. In stark relief against the blood red wax was the Lungbarrow crest. For a moment, for a painful moment, the memories that had haunted her dreams for the past nine months raced back to her. His dark blue eyes, his wide smile, blond hair blowing in the breeze and…him changing into someone else…
“My dear God…Thete….” She breathed and felt all of the air rush out of her chest.
And limp, like a rag doll, mindless that she had to get dressed for work, Tegan Jovanka flopped onto the sofa, crumpling all the other letters she had received. With shaky hands, she opened the note.
**
Tegan, my dear,
I hope this finds you well. The TARDIS has been frightfully quiet these days, as much as Peri tries to fill it up with noise, it isn’t quite the same. Our relationship has made your absence painful in the extreme to me….I miss you. Very much. I do still care about you. A great deal. A very…
Blast these voice transcribers, I suppose they wrote that and for the life of me, I can’t be bothered to take that out.
Tegan, I would very much like to meet with you. On Earth. I won’t ask you to travel with me again; you are always welcomed if you wish, you know. But please, meet me for…for dinner? Possibly just tea? A drink?
There is a small public house on the corner where you live and I anticipate that you will receive this on Monday, March 3rd…1985. Yes, that’s correct…1985. Might we meet on the Wednesday after? I will be there regardless. If you do not appear, I will understand and will not breach your privacy.
I look forward to seeing you, Tegan, to hearing your voice.
Yours unfailingly,
Thete.
**
The window stood open to catch the last of the winter's breeze. It ruffled the eyelet curtains she had bought because they reminded her of her grandmother. Her legs were a little chilly from the air, but she couldn’t be bothered to stand to grab a blanket. The water glass stood on her bedside table had stood there long enough that the condensation had dribbled down the side of the glass to pool on the surface. She couldn’t be bothered to move it.
The letter, too, moved just slightly in the breeze from its place on the bed cover. Tegan could still see the script, in Thete’s easy hand, scrawled on the page.
He wanted to see her.
She wondered how long it had been for him. Was he still that curly haired man that had replaced her…HER…Thete? It had only been 9 months for her. She was still trying to firmly plant herself back into life on Earth…job…her family…friends…moving forward.
The corner pub…in two nights…
“Cripes…” she drew and rose from the bed. Her muscles complained about the movement, but she could care less about it. “Damn it…it hasn’t been long…”
Enough? Tegan didn’t say the word aloud. Long enough for what? For the pain to stop? Would it ever be long enough for that? She turned and stared at the letter on the bed as though it held the answer for her. With a sigh, she sat down in the vanity chair and released a long breath.
She thought of his face, the small nuances she knew, would have lessened in her memory by now. They hadn’t; they hadn’t in the slightest: the thickness of his lips, the way that the left side didn’t completely rise as high as the right when he smiled; the deep, yet chameleon blue of his eyes and the way the sides would crinkle when he was happy. She remembered the feel of his hands, on her elbow, on her back…on her body in the dark, in the light. She could viscerally feel the coolness of his skin, hear his deep, hoarse voice…
Turning, she looked in the mirror and at her sorrowful visage.
**
11 months earlier
**
“What in God’s name are you doing?!”
Her cry wasn’t answered immediately and she shook her head. She knew Thete was in the room. There wasn’t a question about that. She could see his trainers and his trousers. Unless Turlough had found Thete’s clothes (which she prayed he hadn’t), then it was logical to assume that the man was here.
“Thete?!”
The culprit stepped out from the corner of the room and smiled widely at her. “Yes?”
She rolled her eyes and approached him with a shake of her head. “Are you cleaning a chimney? Or did you just find ALL the dust in the TARDIS?” She swiped at his shoulders and frowned at her hands. “What in Heaven’s name are you doing?”
“You suggested Spring Cleaning,” he reminded her with a tap to her nose with a very dusty finger. “I took your suggestion to hearts.” He held up a couple of books and frowned as he squinted at the binding. After a moment, he blew hard on the leather. His smile was wide: “It’s surprising what you’ll find.”
She laughed. “There’s a first time for everything, I suppose. Are you to a point where you can leave it?”
He frowned slightly. “You sound…”
“We’re somewhere we aren’t supposed to be, apparently,” she said as she wiped at her nose. “Turlough’s a bit upset about it.”
“You were in the console room with him?” Thete began and she could see a darkening of a frown across his features.
“I was passing it, Thete. On my way here. Apparently, we’ve exceeded our parameters or something…”
“Definitely not good,” he refreshed and then gathered his jumper and coat. His arm slid around her waist and turned her quickly.
**
By the third junction in the corridor, the cloister bell began to toll. They didn’t need to look at each other to fall into tandem running steps towards the console room. He slid about the corner and pulled open the door, gathering her in the nook of his arm and pulled her into the room.
“Turlough! Give me a report!” He demanded without a thought.
“It says that we’re about two specs beyond the spatial and temporal…guidelines in the TARDIS…”
“I’ve let her drift too long. Full stop, Turlough…tap into the command console over there: ought, ought ought . ought command. Now!”
As the bell stopped tolling, Tegan drew a deep breath. Thete turned slightly and lifted his eyebrows. “Absolutely nothing to lose your head about…” he joked and she mouthed a laugh at him. Before she could continue the conversation, his gaze fell to glance at the control panel and his face darkened in a thought. It was only two steps and she stepped alongside him; although his gaze didn’t move from the panel, his arm did round her waist.
“You look like you’re about to lose your head, Thete: what’s wrong?”
“We’re in the Veruna system,” Turlough, she thought, attempted to clarify…although that comment clarified absolutely nothing.
“Where’s that when it’s home?” She pressed.
“It’s the place where the last of the refugees from the DOOMED planet Earth-“
“Yes,” the Doctor interrupted, drawing out the word. “That’s enough, Turlough.” At her look, he continued. “It’s very, very far into your future, Tegan. Don’t look at me like that. All stars go through the natural cycle of life and death. The only problem is…when they do eventually die, they take it all with them…”
She sighed and nodded. “Even I learned about that in science class, thank you very much. But…” With a flick of her wrist, she opened the viewport. “Can we visit them?”
“Oh no,” Thete replied. “Curiosity is healthy, but not in this instance. If we have exceeded the temporal barriers, that means that the colony could only be a generation or two old. We’d influence…”
Tegan crossed her arms over her chest. “Bull. That’s never stopped you before.”
He leaned over and closed the viewport and whispered in her ear. “They just might know Time Lords here, Tegan. This is almost in Gallifrey’s future…”
“Oh…” she returned equally lowly.
He went to adjust the time space path and, in that moment, his arm tightened on her as the floor tilted at 70 degrees leaving them both clinging to the console. “Thete?!” Turlough fell to the floor and slid to the wall. And it felt, alarmingly, as if they were free falling…
**
She awoke in his arms. For a blessed moment, she wondered if the feeling of free-fall was the typical ending of a lot of her dreams: the fall and the inevitable jerk just before coming awake. But the Doctor was walking and she was wrapped in his coat. They certainly were not in a bed. Certainly. “Thete?”
“Tegan…” he responded tightly. She could hear a slight difference in his voice, like the affectation of a strange accent. His voice was strained.
“Why are you carrying — what’s wrong?” She forced both questions out at the same time, running each into one another. She couldn’t feel any pain aside from a throbbing headache. “Put me down?”
His gaze didn’t move from its forward position as he answered her. “In a moment, Tegan.”
“What happened?” She struggled to sit up more, pulling on his tense shoulders to right herself in his arms. “Where are we? Are we out of the TARDIS?”
Her gaze fell on Turlough and immediately to his left strangely garbed humans. They carried mean looking guns. “Hell…” she breathed.
“You were a bit under the weather,” Thete responded finally as they entered a structure, a shelter…something that fit the description.
“Unconscious was more like it,” Turlough added under his breath.
“When did we leave the…” she stopped talking as the Doctor set her down on the ground and she tried to stand. Her head hurt enough that her legs slightly buckled. His arm remained at her back, like a steel band, the hand on her hip like an anchor. “…TARDIS?”
“The invasion weapon,” one of the huge men by her rumbled menacingly. “…was destroyed.”
“Weapon?!” Tegan issued with a laugh. “The TARDIS?....wait…” In that breath, the pain in her head expanded, engulfing her neck, her brain…destroyed? Gone? “You said…destroyed?” She forced out of her mouth.
“Quiet, woman! Sit down!” The man ordered. Tegan pivoted on her feet to face the man, but her head spun. The Doctor kept her anchored against his flank and allowed little movement. “We’ve allowed you inside…” He continued. “And now you’ll answer our questions.”
“We will be glad to,” Thete stressed. “If they are asked in a civilized manner.”
“You have no room for demands!” The man roared. “Sit down! Guards, don’t allow them to move or even breathe loud. I’ll get Plantagenet.”
“Thank you for your wonderful hospitality,” the Doctor said with what Tegan could only describe as a rueful smile. “I rather think we will sit down.”
“Before Tegan falls down,” Turlough replied, again under his breath. For once, in that one comment, Tegan felt both angry and respectful of Turlough’s attitude. He didn’t seem even remotely intimidated by the situation. And Thete was…
She was dragged down to sit against the Doctor’s side on the bench they were allowed to use. Her eyesight adjusted to the interior and she saw that they were in some sort of clinic or triage station. There were stretchers and beds on every available surface…natural or manmade. It was so dim, however, that she could barely make out injuries or personal features.
Thete crossed his legs and slid his arm about her shoulders. Her head hurt so badly that she found that she could barely concentrate. “The TARDIS is…”
He sighed next to her: the sigh he used when he was tired and pained, not at her, but at situations. His hand eased in its grip on her shoulder and he eased off of the bench. “Turlough?”
“They’ve wandered off a bit…”
“Hmm,” Thete whispered. She saw him dig for something in his pockets. Lord knew what he would pull out. After a moment, he frowned and pivoted a little on the balls of his feet. He smiled at a young woman who was standing nearby. “We need a small light source; my mate has had a head injury. Would it be possible…” After a moment, the young woman handed him a small object that looked like a torch. “Thank you…”
He held the light up with his right hand as his left held her head still. “Follow the light with your eyes, Tegan…” She moved her gaze from his to do as he said. “Hmm, good…now…straight ahead. Excellent!” He shut off the light and handed the device back to Turlough. The boy returned it to the girl with a nod and a smile. “No concussion, Tegan. That’s excellent news.”
“Enough avoiding the question, Thete,” she warned quietly. “Where is the TARDIS?”
“It’s…” he began and then sighed. His hands covered hers on her knees. “It appears to have been destroyed…”
“How?!” She nearly cried. His hands tightened down on hers as he levered up to stand, then slid to sit as he had previously. “When?! And you’re bloody calm about it!”
“I’ve had an hour to at least digest the news,” Thete said quietly. She glanced up at him, in the gloom, to see his gaze. The pain was there; it had turned the blue of his eyes nearly midnight. His arm tightened about her shoulders as it fell to its old position. “And I’m not…happy about it by a long stretch.”
“It was hard to have an emotional response when our…” Turlough sighed and leaned into the wall next to them. His head inclined towards them, while he looked as nonchalant as possible. “…when our esteemed hosts were holding guns in our face. I think it was a blessing you were…indisposed.”
“You would,” Tegan groused. Her heart rate was still accelerated: Gone…Destroyed! It was about which her mind could center. “Thete…what happened?”
His hand slid down her arm to cup her near the elbow. “Breathe deeply, Tegan.”
“I’m-“
“Hyperventilating,” he issued. “Calm down.”
“The TARDIS is…gone…and you want me…”
“…to breathe deeply,” he completed and smiled with a wave at their captors. “The TARDIS was pulled to this planet by a strong gravitational force…the likes of which I’ve never encountered. We crashed.”
“And were bloody lucky to walk away from it,” Turlough offered. He slid his hand into his pocket with a sigh.
“With no injury,” the Doctor added. “We exited and were outside of the TARDIS for about five minutes before it…disintegrated.”
“Disintegrated?”
“I can’t describe it any other way,” he said quietly.
“Has it ever-“
His arm pulled her tighter against him. She realized her breathing was still accelerated. “Never, Tegan…come on…breathe slower…”
“You’re not very-“
“I’ll be upset later…right now,” Thete replied quietly. She felt his lips at the top of her head. Her hair moved gently under his breath; her skin tickled at the touch of his lips. His fingers were tense…she could feel the bone in each one of them. He was holding her, she realized, as much for himself as for her. In that second, she realized he was frightened. “Right now, I’m trying to ensure that we will be welcome here…”
“Just in case…” Turlough interjected. “This becomes our new home.”
**
The man that entered the room was nothing like what Tegan expected. Over the previous hour, she had watched the men and women of this place. The Doctor’s arm had remained about her, his fingers slowly tracing up and down her arm until she was lulled by the simple repetitiveness of the act. In her calmer state, she could observe the goings-on.
There were more men than women: that was the first thing she noticed. They all wore a type of uniform that was dingy to say the least; they seemed to be varying shades of grey. An elderly man seemed to be moving slowly from one set of cots to another. A young woman followed him, carrying various medical tools in a satchel that the man would ask to be set up whenever he set up a ‘camp’ in a new area.
“Are they performing surgery?” She asked quietly.
“Apparently.”
“They can’t bloody well see the hand in front of their face,” she whispered.
“Agreed. It can’t be healthy for any involved,” Turlough added.
Before they could continue their conversation, the large bear of a man appeared again. He was followed by a smaller, wisp of a boy in a uniform only slightly less dingy than the rest of the others. He walked with his hands held tightly behind his back and his chin tilted slightly up. His black hair was slicked back. He looked, for all the world, to Tegan as a boy playing at being a leader and hoping like hell he was fooling everyone around him.
She wondered if the ‘bear’ was the actual leader. Wouldn’t be the first time she had seen that.
As they neared, Thete uncrossed his legs and rose. She followed him, as did Turlough, so when the others had approached, they were at their full height. The Doctor held out his hand to the new leader. “Hello, I’m the Doctor and this is Tegan and-“
“That’s enough, you!” The larger man growled. “You’ll speak only when spoken to.”
The Doctor let his hand fall back to his side. Tegan glanced up at his face to see his eyes narrowing. “That’s politeness for you,” she said under her breath.
The man took a step towards her and Thete stepped until he was halfway in front of her. “I’ll speak to you when I have a name, thank you,” he responded tightly.
The wisp of a boy stepped forward in front of the larger man. “I am Plantagenet…the leader of this settlement. This is Brazen…my chief of security. And now…”
“Yes, very well,” Thete responded. “Plantagenet. I understand that we’ve been accused of invading. We were simply passing by and were, invited by gravity, as it were…” He smiled and stopped when there was no response. “You have to believe me: we’re victims here.”
“With this war going on?!”Brazen shouted. “Do you think us stupid?!”
“Our home was destroyed!” Tegan yelled in return. “And we’re stranded here. Believe me, after this is all over, we won’t be leaving at the end of the day!” She felt the Doctor’s arm securing around her waist, his fingers tightening down on her hip. He never hushed her; the pressure was enough. As she stopped speaking, he gathered her closer to his flank.
Brazen laughed and turned to the leader with a laugh. “Do you believe- Leader?!”
Tegan gasped at Thete’s hand left her waist as if burned and he rocketed forward. She was only a step behind him. Brazen had caught the collapsed young leader in his arms. His pallor was alarmingly pale, making his dark hair and black circles under his eyes stand out.
“What-“
“Tegan! Elevate his feet!” Thete yelled. Immediately, she followed the order. Brazen began to argue, but the Doctor was with Plantagenet. His hand slipped under the young man’s neck and levered his head off of the older man’s lap. Brazen growled, but the Doctor was feeling about his neck.
“Heart-“ Thete’s voice was tense as he pulled and ripped at the man’s uniform. “- attack.”
She could see a heavy bruise at the top of the man’s ribs. “Keep his feet up! Turlough…I need electric power, now! And something damp, anything damp!”
“Stay away from-“ Brazen yelled.
The elderly man that Tegan had watched earlier knelt next to them. “He’s going to get his heart going again. He’s in arrhythmia. Norna! Help him!” The man pointed at Turlough. “Pull down those wires.”
Tegan watched Thete as he tucked the uniform under the sides of Plantagenet to keep him still. “Hold him,” he issued to Brazen over his shoulder. “Turlough!”
Turlough jogged over to the group and tossed damp clothes at Thete. Within a second, he and the elderly man had placed them on Plantagenet’s chest: one high, one low. Thete snapped his fingers impatiently until Norna gave him the ends of the wires. The elderly man stood next to a small container. Tegan didn’t have a clue what it was, but —
“Now!”
Thete held the ends against the damp clothes; Plantagenet arched. Immediately, Norna pressed her fingers against the young man’s neck. She gave one firm shake of her head.
“Again!”
Tegan could hear the desperation in Thete’s voice; it might not be audible to someone else, but the crack she heard let her know he was worried.
“Again!”
“You’ve killed him,” Brazen growled.
Norna sat back and stared at Brazen. Plantagenet’s dark eyes blinked open and he glanced up at Norna, Brazen and the Doctor. “He saved him,” Norna said.
Thete sat forward on his knees and earnestly looked into the leader’s face. For a split second, Tegan could see a familiar spark in his blue eyes and was comforted by the crinkle of skin at their corners. He looked at her, winked and then returned his gaze to Plantagenet. His finger mimicked an urge to keep a secret quiet; it rested against his now slightly smiling lips. “Not a word to the Time Lords….if you please.”
**
"I’m Mr. Range.”
The Doctor glanced up at the man that stood alongside the stretchers. Tegan had guessed the seriousness of the medical situations when he had taken off his coat and jumper, procured his glasses and bent over a stretcher. She had never seen him so serious pertaining to emergency medical care.
“A pleasure to meet you,” Thete rumbled. He glanced up at the older gentleman over his glasses with a smile. “I’m quite sure…you are in the light, however.”
“Quite,” Mr. Range said quickly and moved to the side. “You are a doctor?”
“’The’ Doctor',” Thete muttered and smiled again. “If you don’t mind. Tegan?” He nodded towards his hands.
“Sorry, Thete,” she issued. Her arms were exhausted, but she knew she was needed. He smiled lightly at her and bent back to his sewing job. It wasn’t a great bloody mess; Tegan found she could stand watching him as he worked. This was the fourth patient that she had assisted with him. She patted about the wound with the gauze and waited for him to continue sewing.
“I know you’re tired, brave heart…we’ll take a break after this,” he said in a whisper, as his gaze didn’t move from the patient.
“But…”
“Norna and I can take over,” Mr. Range responded, happily butting into their conversation. His gaze was firmly on the sure way that Thete was sewing the patient. He, too, glanced over his glasses. “Quite excellent…you are an internist? What are you a doctor of?”
“Everything.”
Tegan almost had to smother a smile at Thete’s response. It was extremely concise, booking no argument tone of voice that he used under stress. His cool hand covered hers quickly and she realized her fingers had drifted from the wound. “Do you often have asteroid swarms?”
“The bombardments? Yes. Constantly, at least once every two or three days,” Mr. Range offered.
“Hmm, interesting,” Thete returned. “And there is no…warning system in place? No alarms to call for going under cover?”
“There are.”
Thete’s fingers stopped their sewing and glanced up at Mr. Range over the top of his glasses. Then, for emphasis she thought, he glanced around at the other patients and then at the one to which he was attending. “It apparently is not working, Mr. Range.”
“You are working on the clanger manager, sir.”
“Ah, yes…” Thete said as he continued his ministrations. “That would explain a great deal.”
“Quite,” Mr. Range responded as Thete pulled the sewing tight and knotted the string.
“Tegan…wipe the edge of the wound…perfect.” He straightened and smiled at her before removing his glasses. “Mr. Range, my…mate here…needs a few minutes of relaxation-“
“Plantagenet has requested that you have very comfortable accommodation in the main ship for the evening. There only a few more patients and none needing intensive medical attention. Norna and I could attend to these.”
Thete nodded and passed her the antiseptic to wash her hands. “I would prefer if we could wash the blood from us? Is there a place to wash?”
Norna nodded. “There is a place to sleep and wash. Come on; I’ll show you.”
Mr. Range was already rinsing his hands in the antiseptic. “Hurry back; I’ll need you.”
**
Tegan walked behind the short blonde as she showed them across the small open area. For the first time, Tegan realized there were holes in the ground around them. They looked all the world to her as shrapnel forged holes, like it was the landing place of a large projectile. Thete’s hand was in hers, his fingers, although cool, were there to ground her and pull her along. As they neared the half buried, monstrous spaceship, Norna glanced back at them.
“I’m sorry for our leader’s treatment of you. I grew up with him; he isn’t acting like himself. Since his father’s death, he’s been stressed.”
“I’m sorry to hear that,” Tegan issued.
“It is hard to run a colony,” Norna began and then pulled open the door for them. Tegan was first in, followed by Thete. “Your friend, Turlough, is already here, I believe.”
“Thank God someone knows where he is…” Tegan said under her breath. Thete’s hand squeezed hers as they were led into a small room off the main hallway. There were two soldiers, guards really, outside the door. She tried to ignore them as they passed into the smaller room. There was a bed, a single really, a chair and then a small annexed room with a shower and a sink.
“There is running water. I believe that Turlough is in the next room and that Plantagenet will require your presence soon.” Norna smiled at them and then turned to leave the room.
As the door shut, Tegan turned on Thete, but he beat her to the question. “Yes, I know that we have to discuss-“
“You’re still rather calm-“ She began as she turned from him and marched into the small, annexed room. “Thete, what about the TARDIS?”
He followed her into the room and she noticed that his shirt cuffs had blood on them. Her clothes were already on the floor outside the shower. Without a thought, and driven by long suppressed anger, she stepped into the small cubicle. The mechanism for turning on the water was simple, and the water erupted from all sides. She stepped in and was happy to feel that the water was warm.
Thete stepped in behind her. She could feel the harkening of his body by the cooler than cool influx of his body temperature, a respite from the heat of the water. His sigh made her turn.
“I don’t know about the TARDIS, Tegan. For Rassilon’s sake, it hasn’t happened-“
She glanced up at his face as his hair began to become heavy from the weight of the moisture. It was brown and simply served to frame his eyes. She had never seen them so sad. “What are we supposed to do?”
“I don’t accept that it has been…well…destroyed,” he offered slowly. She could barely hear his voice over the falling water.
“What happened to her, do you think?”
“I don’t know,” he said simply. She slid her hands up his wet chest to touch at his now soaked shoulders. “I honestly don’t know.”
Her hand moved to cup his cheek and he leaned his head a little into her touch. She knew he had erected a bravado when he was dealing with patients and the soldiers. Her other hand curled over his ear and into his hair.
His eyes were barely open. “I can’t feel her anymore…in my head…”
Her thumb rubbed over his cheek; his eyes opened; his gaze speared her and she suddenly felt the need to swallow tears. One lone tear eked out of the corner of his right eye and mingled with the water coursing down his skin. As another joined it, she stepped closer to him. His arms rounded her, and his face pressed into her wet hair. She didn’t hear his quiet sobs but felt the sudden puffs and falls of his chest. She didn’t say anything; just let his arms reflexively clench her to him.