Work Text:
Tuvix.
It was still all horrifying to her. She wanted to bury it deep deep down and forget everything. And abandoning them should have put an end to it.
They were products of a mistake and they were native to that planet, so of course they had to stay there. Voyager couldn’t take on three more souls, souls that were dubious at best. Yes they definitely had to stay there.
She had big problems to contemplate. A malfunctioning transporter, the loss of her security officer, the loss of her…well, whatever Neelix was. Cook, ultimately. Yet it seemed a little bit too devaluing to only consider him the ship’s chef. He did do quite a bit for everyone when needed.
Of course when she was roaming the ship’s corridors late into the night, Kathryn had an urge to visit Sick Bay. Maybe it was the headache she was developing. Maybe.
Her entrance into Sick Bay was met with quick action by the EMH. Distraction for a better part. But alas, she saw them.
Little twittering tails.
Oh No.
Chakotay hovering over them?!
Kathryn shoved her way through to the other room. Chakotay stepping before the little tadpoles.
“Kathryn, before you do anything—“
“We have to get rid of them.”
Besides, the transporter was broken. If she could just get them onto the pad, they’d be done for. She’d never have to think about all THAT again.
Nezu.
Kathryn resented Chakotay for keeping those little brats aboard. It didn’t matter how cute they got as they grew.
…..
No.
They’re not cute.
I must get rid of them.
She really just hated how Chakotay went behind her back yet again. And she really needed to contain this situation before Tom found out. She’d be doomed if he did. There’s no doubt in her mind that Tom would fight to keep them on board and the way Chakotay was looking after them, she was sure to be in the middle of one messy custody battle.
As far as she knew, they were all his anyway. She’d happily and formally give up her rights to them as a parent.
“Kathryn, you can’t just put three little infants on board of a shuttle craft. You really thought Tuvok and Neelix wouldn’t notice? You really want to condemn these kiddos to asteroid bombardment?”
She frowned, folding her arms as she watched the man before her pick up the box they were so neatly tucked away in.
“Yes.”
He held up the box, “but just look at them, Kathy!”
Those big round innocent eyes. Their tails were twitching.
Oh god, their tails.
“I am looking at them and I want nothing to do with it.”
“Have you even named them?”
She furrowed her brows.
“Have YOU named them?”
Real Life.
“It’s a holoprogram they can’t live in there.”
“They’d have a family.”
“I am their family. And you could actually be part of it too, you know.”
The two of them were sitting in Chakotay’s quarters. He was fondly watching the little hybrids tumble over each other on the floor. How could this not invoke any maternal instinct, he thought.
“Well I don’t want it.”
“You wanted to name them.”
“Only because the names you chose were not entirely fitting.”
Chakotay quickly came to the rescue of the smallest of them all. He shooshed her, and gently set her on top of Kathryn’s lap. She held onto the infant, almost, ALMOST feeling deep down the urge to nurture her and keep her safe.
Did she say ALMOST?
“You don’t feel anything?”
“Of course I feel something,” she sighed. “But I am NOT ready for this. I don’t believe I ever will be.”
“So you want to stick them with The Doctor’s fake hologram family?”
“Precisely.”
He wondered just how much turmoil she was repressing.
Displaced.
This time her excuse was how the little critters needed a better habitat. Those Nyrians had the right idea about keeping their prisoners in an environment suited to them. A ship was not suited to these twittering, chirping little amphibious freaks.
And she meant freaks in the most affectionate way.
Sort of.
“I built them a suitable habitat.” Chakotay remarked as they grabbed their dinner. “I don’t understand why you care, you’ve made it a priority to chuck them off this ship with any chance you get.”
“I’m sorry that I thought it was best to keep them on that planet in the first place.”
Maybe she was bitter that Tom didn’t entirely hate the idea of Chakotay raising their kids.
Their kids. Hers and Tom’s.
God she wanted to vomit.
“Anyway, if they have to be here I will exercise my role as YOUR Captain and inquire just how suitable this habitat for these critters are.”
Chaktoay smiled into his cup of coffee. He knew something was brewing in her mind, he just needed to coax her out of this god awful idea that these “critters” should be abandoned.
“I am willing to use all my rations for them, all my holodeck time for them. They would also fair well in the aeroponics lab. They have plenty of access to water, and room to play. Most importantly, they have a loving father.”
She tried her best to conceal the blush that overcame her. As far as she knew, there weren’t any issues at all regarding Chakotay’s care for the infants. He never showed up late to his post, nor was he public about the situation at all. Kathryn appreciated his devotion to her privacy.
“Well I want to make sure. Where are they?”
“You—You want to see them?”
Kathryn nodded.
Of course, Chakotay saw right through her.
“You’re not beaming them to that Nyrian jail ship.”
Coming to Terms.
She hated admitting it, but Chakotay was an excellent father. They more she watched him interact with her kids, HER KIDS! the more she thought about this idea of motherhood.
It was still hard for her to feel a connection to them. Chakotay tried his best though, supervised visits at first because he was still paranoid about her beaming them off into space. Kathryn gave up on that idea a while ago. Maybe it was when Edward’s tail flopped on her face as she was trying to sleep. Maybe it was Amelia’s chirping in her ear. Maybe Phillipa’s intensely strong grip whenever Kathryn had to leave. Whatever it was, it was taking hold. She was forgetting the demented journey that got her three kids, and tried to focus on everything before her.
Lately they’d been lying together in bed. The three of them were scattered, lying on top of Chakotay’s chest, Kathryn’s stomach, their legs. At times they felt more like dogs than human/salamander hybrid babies.
And every time they chirped, she couldn’t help but return the chittering. That’s definitely what sent her over the edge.
Okay, so she tried to beam them off the ship a couple of times, she tried to abandon them. Maybe, JUST MAYBE, this could work.