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Sugar Glass was quietly looking down at a wilted flower. She was pretty upset about it. It was a beautiful flower that sadly died and she blamed herself for the flower’s death. After all, it was her fault it died. If she took better care of the greenhouse none of this would have happened. Sugar Glass slowly began to cry. She tried to hold back the tears, but her emotions took over her. She hated how weak she was. She hated how useless she was. She hated herself. It wasn’t until she met Amber Sugar where things got better, but she hated how she relied on someone to help fix the greenhouse. She is the safeguard of the greenhouse and she couldn’t fix it at all. She was meant to be the protector of it, but it was left in ruins. All of these thoughts overwhelmed her.
That's when she heard a voice. She looked around to see if anyone was there. No one was there. It wasn't Amber Sugar since his voice sounds different than the one that was spoken. This wasn't the first time she heard it, but she felt the presence of someone despite no one being there. It whispers, "You know what to do. After all, you need to be punished for not protecting the greenhouse. It will make you feel better."
She didn't know how to deal with all these emotions, so she resorted to methods that were told to her to get these emotions out. She looked around to see if Amber Sugar was nearby. After she made sure he wasn’t at sight, she pulled out something from under her dress. A shard piece of glass. She pulls up one of her sleeves which reveals her with a lot of cuts and scars. This wasn't the first time she resorted to methods like this. Sugar Glass hovers the glass over a spot that hasn’t been cut yet. Then, she sinks in her. Blood slowly pours out of her. It was painful, but she deserved it. She was cutting herself more and more as a way to punish herself. She fails at being the safeguard of the greenhouse, she fails at being strong, she fails at being brave. Tears were pouring down her face from all the pain and failure, but weirdly felt better after hurting herself. She got what she deserved, but she felt like it wasn't enough. She deserved to be punished further. She rolled up her other sleeve. Her left arm has fewer cuts than the other. Sugar Glass continued to harm herself. She was so carried away from her actions that she didn't notice something unexpected happen.
"Hey, Sugar Glass! I found a memory I wanna ask you about." Amber Sugar walked into the room. Sugar Glass quickly hid the sharp glass underneath her skirt and rolled down both of her sleeves. She wiped her tears so he didn't notice her sadness. Amber Sugar went up to her, he seemed to be so happy to see her. Sugar Glass tried to keep a good poker face however the pain from all the cuts made it hard to keep her composure. Amber Sugar noticed how uncomfortable she was.
"Hey, Sugar Glass. Are you okay?" Amber Sugar asked, "You look so pale."
"I'm fine, Amber." Sugar Glass lied. She gave a very weak smile. Amber Sugar knew something was up, that's when he noticed her arm. Her navy blue sleeve seems to have spots of purple. Was that always there?
"I think we should go to bed, it's getting late," Sugar Glass nervously laughed. She fluttered up from the ground she was sitting on. That's when the sharp glass fell on the ground. It didn't shatter. Sugar Glass didn't notice it fell, but Amber Sugar noticed and picked it up. It seems normal until he notices something red on it. Then it hit him. The purple spots were stains of blood.
Amber Sugar quickly flew to Sugar Glass and pulled up one of her sleeves. That is when he saw the many cuts that were on her. He couldn't believe it, he didn't want to. He felt his body get overwhelmed just by seeing the cuts on her. Sugar Glass was stunned that Amber Sugar figured it out. When she saw him holding the sharp glass she used and his reaction, that's when she realized how he found out. Amber Sugar went through his pocket to pull out some adhesive bandages. He always carried it around because he got many injuries from working at the greenhouse. Before he was able to pat her he smashed the sharp glass she used to hurt herself. He began wrapping the bandages around her. Sugar Glass just sat there quietly crying as he covered her up. She didn't say a thing and felt uneasy. Amber Sugar felt tears about to fall out, but he held back his emotions. After he was done covering up the cuts he rolled up her other sleeve to see even more cuts. That made Amber Sugar on the verge of crying. He didn't know it would be that bad. Looking at how faded some of them are it seems like she has been doing this for quite some time. Amber Sugar begins patching it up and he notices how Sugar Glass avoided looking at him. Her eyes were dull and dark. He knew she was worrying about the whole situation. He needed to break the silence before she started thinking the worst.
"You are not okay. Care to tell me what is going on?" Amber Sugar said finished putting the bandages on her. Sugar Glass silently cried, not knowing what to say. It was hard to put her thoughts into words and her voice was very shaky. This was probably not the best time to talk. Amber Sugar realizes that and quietly pulls her in for a hug. Sugar Glass cried out loud in his shoulder. She was shaking violently, afraid of what's gonna happen next. He comforted her as she let out her emotions. He patted her back as a way to ease the tension.
Slowly, Sugar Glass calmed down. She was still crying, but was less shaky. Amber Sugar gently carried her into their room. The two of them shared the same room. Sugar Glass did say he could have his own room, but Amber Sugar said after the greenhouse is fixed then he will find a room. He gently placed her in the middle bed and sat next to her. Sugar Glass looked down, clearly sad and afraid. Amber Sugar grabbed her hand, "Are you ready to tell me what's going on."
Sugar quietly nodded. Amber Sugar reassured her that he is not mad at her and it's going to be okay. She looked at him unsure what to say or where to start. Amber Sugar noticed that and decided to help her, "Can you tell me when this all started?"
Sugar Glass collected her memories and put them into words, "If I remember correctly, it all started not long after I met you…"
"Okay, why did you do it?" Amber Sugar asked. Sugar Glass thought for a moment before something told her not to say a thing about it. She was conflicted and overwhelmed. Amber Sugar notices how distressed she is, "Take your time. We have all the time in the world."
Amber Sugar cups her hands in between his. Sugar Glass felt warm when her hands were held by him. It gave her a sense of comfort.
"It's a long story… If I'm going to explain the reason why I did it, then I have to get into more of my past." Sugar Glass mumbled.
"If it means to understand and help you, then tell me." Amber Sugar said. Sugar Glass hesitated since she worried Amber Sugar would not understand her, it was worth a shot.
"I'm sure you know I'm the safeguard of this place..." Sugar Glass spoke. Amber Sugar nodded to her response. "When I first woken into this world, the greenhouse was in ruins and I wasn't given any instructions to run the place… Which led to the place being in worse condition and it felt like it was all my fault…"
Sugar Glass felt tears beginning to form. Amber Sugar gently wiped them off. Sugar Glass continued, "I couldn't do anything because of my own stupidity and I need to do something to punish myself for not being good enough... Then something urged me to hurt myself, so I did."
At this point, Sugar Glass was on the verge of having a breakdown. Before it would have gotten worse Amber Sugar hugged her to help ease the tension, "You did as a form of punishment for not fixing the greenhouse. Am I right?"
"Yeah… When I first did it, I'm not going to lie, it felt good since I got what I deserved. I deserved to be punished for not taking good care of the greenhouse… I deserve to be in pain for not being smart enough to fix. I deserved to be in misery for not being good enough." Sugar Glass cried. Amber Sugar held her close to him. He couldn't believe what he was hearing. He looked at the butterfly who was crying on his chest and seeing all the suffering she had endured.
"Sugar Glass, you don't deserve any of this. You don't deserve to suffer. You don't deserve to be punished. You don't deserve to go through all of this. Hurting yourself isn't going to make things feel better. Self harm may seem promising, but it only hurts you and anyone around you," Amber Sugar stated, "It may seem like you are worthless, but in reality you mean so much to me. After all, you are the only cookie who I'm able to express myself to. You allow me to stay here when I don't have anywhere to go. You mean so much to me that seeing you hurt pains me. You didn't deserve to go through all of this alone, so let me be there with you."
Amber Sugar gently wiped more of her tears before cupping her cheek. Sugar Glass was moved by his words and is visibly blushing. No one was ever there for her until now. The cookie who is helping fix the greenhouse, is now comforting at her darkest moments. She melted into his hand enjoying the warmth and comfort it provided.
"Thank you, Amber... I appreciate you being there for me…" Sugar Glass whispered, "I have never been comforted like this before… I feel better…"
"I'm glad to hear that. I'm always here for you when you need me." Amber Sugar smiled, "how about I give you advice on how to get over self harm, so you can avoid it."
Sugar Glass gently nodded before resting on her head. Amber Sugar gently wraps his arms around her waist to make her feel more safe and comfortable.
"Alright, just so you know self harm is very addictive. Once you start, it's hard to stop. If you ever get the urge to hurt yourself, find me and I will comfort you, so you don't have to rely on self harm." Amber Sugar whispered, "I will try to find a coping mechanism for you. It will help you keep your mind off it."
Sugar Glass nodded as Amber Sugar spoke. His voice was soothing and slowly she became sleepy. It was getting late. Amber Sugar ran his fingers through her hair gently caressing her.
"Alright, Amber…" She yawned, "I think we should be getting some sleep"
Amber Sugar smiled before laying down on the bed leaving Sugar Glass on his chest. He didn't mind this at all. Sugar Glass gently nuzzles him to show she enjoys his presence, "Goodnight, Amber…"
"Goodnight, Sugar." Amber Sugar replied. Sugar Glass felt her eyes get heavy and slowly drifted to sleep. Amber Sugar held her close to him. He was happy seeing her more calm and relaxed. He is willing to go through anything to see her happy and safe. He brushes some hair out of her face before slowly drifting off to sleep.