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Keigo understood a lot for a nine year old. He understood basic battle strategy. He understood how to utilize his quirk in an array of situations such as rescue missions, hand to hand combat and long distance fighting. He understood how important his role as a future hero was to society.
But one thing he did not understand was Touya Todoroki.
Keigo couldn’t wrap his mind around the fact that the son of his all-time favourite hero was so mean. And rude. He’d tried to be nice to him. And that was another thing Keigo understood – being nice. He was very, very good at being nice because if he wasn’t, he wouldn’t be a very good hero. So, if he was so nice, why didn’t Touya like him?
There weren’t a lot of kids that came to the Commission Training Centre, especially ones his age. Most of them were teenagers, and while most of them liked him (he was very likable too), they didn’t want to hang out with him because he was a little kid. That’s why he was so excited the first time he saw Touya. He looked about his age – Keigo had since found out he was almost a year older, but that was still close enough. A ten year old and a nine-and-a-half year old are basically the same thing, right? Yet every time he tried to talk to Touya, the older boy either avoided him, insulted him, or straight up ignored him.
The first time it happened Keigo thought it was a fluke. He thought surely, he caught him at a bad time. It’s not like Keigo didn’t know people had bad days, but he couldn’t relate to the concept. It’d been drilled into him for three years now, ever since the Commission took him in, that he couldn’t afford to have bad or off days if he wanted to be a great hero; if he was performing at any less than 100%, people could die.
But Keigo knew those rules didn’t apply to other people, not even the other kids the Commission trained. He was different – he was special. But still, at this rate, Touya would have had thirteen bad days and counting. Maybe twelve. One of the days he seemed to willingly make eye contact with Keigo, so he supposed that counted for something.
Today, though, today Keigo had a fool proof plan.
It had honestly taken him an embarrassing amount of time – so long that he’s pretty sure if his handlers found out, they’d put him in extra classes to practice his observation skills – to first put together that Mr. “Touya – just Touya” with the cool fire quirk was Endeavor’s son. When Touya first came to the Training Centre, he seemed to be the only kid that was never called by his last name; he was simply known as Touya. Eventually, after training with the other boy for a while, Keigo had put the pieces together to figure out Touya’s parentage.
Keigo wasn’t exactly sure why Touya wouldn’t want to be known as Endeavor’s son. Seriously, who wouldn’t want it to be known that their father was one of the greatest heroes? His best guess was that Touya was just being humble. It wasn’t like he had anything to be embarrassed about like Keigo did – the President herself made it clear since he was taken in that he was never to associate with his surname or his family ever again. She even told him to abandon the name Keigo. He remembered crying when she told him, begging even. She yelled at him for that – for being so ungrateful and difficult. That was the first and last time he had let himself cry in front of anyone at the Commission.
Secretly, though, Keigo still referred to himself by his first name. Sometimes, when the teenagers spoke to him outside training, they’d call him Keigo as well. He appreciated that. It’s not that he minded the name Hawks, but sometimes it was a lot of pressure to be Hawks. He knew he had to get used to it, though, if he was going to be a hero.
Keigo assumed Touya had similar fears about the pressures of heroism and perhaps that was why he didn’t like using his surname. It must’ve been a lot of pressure to live up to the name of the number 2 hero, especially when you were training with some of the most skilled teenagers in the country. So, with that information, Keigo devised the perfect plan.
They all had training that afternoon: Keigo, Touya and all the older kids, who ranged from slightly scrawny fifteen year olds that still had a good 50 pounds on Keigo, all the way to buff seventeen year olds that looked like they could bench press him and use his primary feathers as toothpicks.
Keigo couldn’t get himself to focus entirely on the training, however. They were doing teamwork battles today, where they fought a giant robot that seemed to level up every time you landed a hit on it. Keigo knew he should be paying attention, even if he felt his quirk wasn’t really suited for fighting metal things – “You don’t get to pick and choose what types of villains you fight, Hawks, you need to be prepared for anything” – but he couldn’t bring himself to focus. Not when Touya was fighting like an absolute God next to him. The way he shot his flames, calculated and careful so as not to hit others. The way they glowed, so similar to Endeavor. And his agility was basically unmatched. Keigo watched him duck and dodge hits that surely would’ve knocked out most of the other kids here.
Keigo very carefully avoided his handlers after the training, knowing that if he stopped to let them chastise him Touya would be long gone, and instead followed Touya down the hall.
“Hey!” he shouted.
Touya tensed for a second and then began to walk faster.
Maybe he hadn’t heard him. “Hey!” Keigo said louder, speeding up a little to catch up to him.
Touya sped up once again, and Keigo quickly realized what was going on and grew bored of the charade. In the time it took Touya to take another three steps, Keigo had flown and landed in front of him.
The look of surprise, maybe even mild astonishment, was quickly replaced by one of annoyance. “What the heck do you want?” Touya snapped.
Keigo kept his smile easy and his eyes friendly. “Hey!” he said cheerfully.
“I’m Keigo,” he added, quickly realizing this was the most he’d ever gotten to say to Touya.
“Yeah,” Touya said, eyes narrowing. “Hawks, the child prodigy.”
“You’re one to talk!” Keigo exclaimed, excited to get his plan into action. “You did amazing in the battle! The way you almost took down the robot single-handedly? And how you were controlling your flames? No kidding you’re Endeavor’s kid.”
At some point when he was talking, Touya’s expression changed from that of slight pride to near fury.
“How do you know Endeavor’s my dad?” he snapped.
Keigo panicked for a second. He didn’t expect Touya to be this mad. This wasn’t the plan; the praise was supposed to make him proud and forget the pressure he felt. Keigo continued on, hoping to please him with more blatant flattery.
“Well, your flames, of course! They’re exactly like his. Not to mention you have the same eyes and-”
Keigo didn’t have time to finish his sentence, instantly slammed up against the wall by Touya, wings pressed flat. He wasn’t sure what happened, but he did know he did not like to be touched like this – having his wings flattened so suddenly was a sensory nightmare. He responded immediately. It was something his handlers had been working on with him. If he was going to be a hero, he needed to be able to keep his cool in a fight. He had to learn how to take stock of his situation instead of immediately falling back on his combat training. Even if he felt cornered, he couldn’t let overwhelming input shake him. But no matter how many training sessions they did, Keigo always seemed to act on instinct – “If you want to be a proper hero, Hawks, you can’t allow yourself to succumb to these little urges”. This time was no different. Another failure to add to the list of reasons his handlers had to be disappointed in him.
He shoved Touya off of him, a little too hard. The taller boy stumbled, clearly not expecting it, and fell to the ground. There was a loud crack where Keigo assumed Touya’s elbow hit the hard, ceramic floor. He immediately rushed up and offered a hand to Touya, but as he did so, Touya grabbed the hand and pulled him down, shifting so he was now on top.
“Fuck you, that hurt!” Touya shouted.
Keigo was about to apologize, but all he could think of is how his handlers would definitely wash his mouth out with soap if they heard him using that kind of language.
In the time it took for Keigo to finish that thought, Touya seemed to decide that he wanted revenge. He punched Keigo, hard enough to make the younger boy recoil and tears to prick at his eyes.
“Ah!” Keigo screamed, hands going to cradle his cheek.
He really didn’t want to hit Touya back – this was Keigo’s fault, after all, he probably deserved a good punch or two – but when Touya pulled back his fist, going for another hit to his face, Keigo reacted on instinct again.
He grabbed the fist with his left hand before it could connect with his other cheek and tried to punch Touya in the gut with his right. Instead, it connected more to his side, because of the angle, but it still caused Touya to roll off Keigo, clutching the injured spot. Good Keigo thought, but he immediately felt bad for thinking it.
Keigo stood up, rustling his wings, and dusting off his pants (not that anything at the Commission Training Centre was dirty, even the floor, but it seemed the natural thing to do). He assumed the fight was over and turned around to say something to Touya, probably an apology, but as he turned, a kick landed firmly on his shin.
And then they were fighting again. A punch here, a kick there. No quirks, for whatever reason, which Keigo was thankful for because he honestly wasn’t sure he could win. Not that he was winning this, necessarily. Though he was pretty sure Touya wasn’t, either. It seemed like a perfect tie to him, which made him kind of pleased. If they weren’t going to be so angry, his handlers would’ve been proud that he could hold his own in a fight without using his wings or feathers. They were always telling him he couldn’t rely on his quirk, but then again, they also chided him when he didn’t take the opportunity use it. Keigo didn’t quite understand, but he did his best to follow any order he was given anyway.
Touya was just starting to get the upper hand, on top of Keigo now, about to land another hit, when a booming voice shouted, “What is the meaning of this?”
Keigo tensed, his blood running cold. No, no, no, this could not be happening.
Touya was torn off him. “What are you doing to him, you delinquent?!” yelled the voice of the HPSC President.
She seemed to be completely ignoring the fact that Touya was covered with as much blood and bruises as Keigo, maybe even more, although he couldn’t remember how he’d caused some of them. The fight was honestly kind of a blur.
“I- I’m-”
“It was my fault,” Keigo interrupted quickly. “I’m sorry, ma’am. I had a lapse in my judgement, it won’t happen again.”
Touya didn’t say anything. He just stood there, staring at nothing in particular, not at Keigo and not at the President. It kind of annoyed Keigo. Here he was, no doubt about to face a lecture and a punishment, and Touya couldn’t even take partial blame? Not like the son of the Great Endeavor would really face any consequences, so why couldn’t he own up a bit?
The President waited for something else to be said. Keigo bowed his head a little as an appropriate sign of submission and shame.
“Hawks, you should no better than that,” she said pointedly. “Clearly your lessons haven’t been helping as much as we thought.”
“I’m sorry, ma’am,” Keigo said again meekly.
“You on the other hand,” she continued, gripping the collar of Touya’s shirt even harder, “should not have engaged. We’ll be talking to your father about this to establish an appropriate course of action.”
She started walking away, heels clicking on the floor as she did. She turned around realizing Keigo wasn’t following and turned back to grab him by the arm, hauling him away.
“Delaying this won’t make it any better, Hawks,” she clipped.
He refrained from apologizing again, knowing she would be annoyed by that too, and just stayed silent. He let himself be pulled and only turned once to see Touya was dragging his feet behind them.
He was pretty sure she was trying to make him as uncomfortable as possible.
There were two chairs in the office, facing the President’s desk. One was a normal chair – the one Keigo liked – that he usually sat in when he was in here. The other was an unnecessarily fancy highbacked chair. The high back meant Keigo couldn’t spread his wings over it, and the high armrests meant they couldn’t go over the sides either.
The President had instructed Touya to sit in the normal chair. Keigo hesitated for a second, briefly considering asking if he could just stand instead, but he knew better. One wrong move in a situation like this and things could go a lot worse for him. So, he sat in the uncomfortable chair, trying not to fidget, or breathe too loudly, or do anything else that might get him into more trouble than he already was.
Except that was difficult because no one was speaking and it was driving Keigo insane. The President had a short phone call with Endeavor – merely telling him to come as soon as possible – and then had said nothing. She was fiddling with some paperwork, but Keigo knew she wasn’t actually paying that much attention to it, probably just using it as a way to seem busy and make them uncomfortable.
Keigo had nothing but his thoughts to kill the time, and his thoughts were currently terrifying him. He was about to meet Endeavor – his favourite hero, his inspiration – and it was going to be like this. With his wings all bent and cramped, bruises covering his body, and, more importantly, bruises covering Touya’s body, ones that Keigo put there. Endeavor was never going to forgive him.
In comparison to Keigo, Touya looked like he was doing a little better. He didn’t seem as nervous as Keigo, but he definitely wasn’t at ease, either. It wasn’t quite a bored look on his face, more so purposefully neutral. He sat perfectly still, not moving a single muscle anywhere in his body, and Keigo envied him for that. Here he was, looking around, shifting in his chair and wiggling his feathers, and Touya was able to sit so still you could barely tell he was even breathing. Keigo vaguely wondered what gave him this skill, but eventually chalked it up to another thing that Touya was just amazing at.
Then Endeavor walked in the room, and everything changed. Touya tensed, and while he controlled his neutral expression, his eyes screamed in terror. His breathing became shallow and overly controlled, like he was trying to calm the sped-up heartbeat Keigo could nearly feel in his feathers.
Watching that change in Touya made Keigo regret everything. He knew what it was like to be worried about disappointing his parental figure. He especially regretted his earlier pre-judgement about Touya’s lack of consequences. Fear of disappointment, especially of someone you admired, was punishment enough; Keigo knew that for a fact. He felt bad for putting Touya through that, and he hated that he had let himself lose control and start all this in the first place.
“I’m sorry,” Keigo said suddenly, the guilt overwhelming him. “I shouldn’t have hit you and I’m sorry.”
Endeavor stopped and turned to look at Keigo. “That’s why I’m here?” he demanded, glaring at the President. “You said it was urgent.”
“Your son was in a fist fight with one of our top prospects,” she snapped back. “Forgive me if I thought you would want to know.”
Endeavor turned to Touya and manhandled him, checking the bruises. “I thought I taught you to defend yourself better than that.”
Touya didn’t speak, just kept his head down. Keigo felt the need to stick up for him.
“Don’t worry, he got me pretty good, too!” Keigo exclaimed, gesturing to some of his bruises.
Endeavor turned to him again. He scoffed. “This is your top prospect? An eight year old?”
“An eight year old who beat your son,” she countered sharply.
Even if he felt bad, Keigo was so pleased by the compliment he didn’t bother correcting her on his age.
“Sounds like your training isn’t all it’s cracked up to be,” he replied curtly. Then he turned to Touya, his scowl returning. “Beat up by a little kid? You should be ashamed, Touya. Let’s go before you can embarrass me any further.”
Keigo watched as Endeavor’s big hand closed around Touya’s shoulder and all but dragged his friend out of the room.
Touya didn’t come back to the CTC the next couple of weeks. It made Keigo feel all the more guilty. His plan had completely failed, and he had definitely made things worse for Touya in his training. If he was feeling pressure before it could only be worse now. And if he got pulled from the program? He would lose such a great training opportunity, and it would be all Keigo’s fault.
He’d dared to ask one of his handlers, one of the nicer ones, Hotaru, if Touya was coming back. Luckily, he didn’t get in trouble for asking, but he certainly wasn’t graced with an answer.
It seemed he was on thin ice with most of his handlers, and definitely the President. He had been given more impulse control lessons. They would end how they usually would – with Keigo battered and bruised, but healed minutes later. He succeeded by the end of the lessons, effectively taking hits without losing his temper, but that’s how it always went. He was able to do it in training. It was easy to control his actions when he knew he was being watched and he knew the hits were coming. It was the element of surprise that threw him off. He didn’t mention any of that to the President when he reported back to her. She had said, “I hope you’ve learned your lesson this time, Hawks” and he was too excited by the approval to ruin it. He’d just have to get better on his own. He’d be a sorry excuse for a hero if he was unable to stay level-headed in the event of a surprise attack.
It gave Keigo something to do with his time, at least. He practiced, he trained, and if he scanned the room for Touya every time, then no one really had to know.
After a particularly difficult session, Keigo was in the changeroom when he rounded the corner and spotted Touya for the first time in what felt like forever. Immediately, he ran up to the other boy, completely uncaring that he was in the middle of changing.
“Hey!” he said excitedly. “You’re okay.”
“Obviously, birdbrain,” Touya snorted in reply, grabbing a shirt from his bag. “You don’t hit that hard.”
Keigo’s eyes widened. “Apparently I do,” he said, reaching to touch Touya, but stopping and pointing instead at the last second. “All my bruises faded like a week ago.”
Touya immediately tugged his shirt over his head, covering the only slightly fading bruises Keigo had been looking at before. Worry flashed in Touya’s eyes, but it was gone within a second.
“Don’t flatter yourself, birdy,” he said a little too quickly. “I just heal slowly.”
Before Keigo could even reply, Touya muttered a goodbye and made a quick retreat.
He spoke so convincingly Keigo almost believed him. Honestly, he probably would have believed him too, if he hadn’t recognized that controlled expression. He was familiar with that hasty way he pulled on his shirt, the sarcastic quip and quiver in his voice, and that sudden, desperate escape. It may have been in the past for Keigo, but nothing could make him forget, and so he didn’t believe Touya for a second.
That’s how Keigo ended up outside the Todoroki residence. It had honestly been surprisingly easy to follow Touya home, almost easy enough that Keigo wondered if he should warn Touya. Except in order to do that, he’d actually have to admit to following him home in the first place. Keigo knew he could be dense sometimes, but he wasn’t too stupid to realize that this was at least a little weird. He was fully aware that if Touya noticed him, it would destroy any remaining possibility of friendship between them.
He wondered what he was doing here, even. He may have thought he’d recognized the look on Touya’s face – the one he’d been all too familiar with not long ago – but that couldn’t possibly be true. Keigo had lived with a known villain and sociopath. Touya lived with a hero. Who could’ve possibly been hurting Touya without Endeavor knowing?
But he still had an uneasy feeling. And honestly, he was already here, so he might as well look around quickly. He flew around the upper levels and when he saw nothing suspicious up there, he moved to the ground. He started skirting around the outside of the manor, being very careful to stick close to the walls and not be seen. He had made it nearly the whole way around the house, finally succumbing to the thought that this was a terribly stupid idea – seriously, what had he actually expected to find? A giant sign that said, ‘abused child lives here’? – when he found an open window. The curtains were closed, so he couldn’t see in, but he could hear noises.
The first thing he identified were the grunts. Persistent grunts that sounded like they were coming from someone exhausted, probably a child. He wouldn’t have really thought too much of that, especially since they sounded so like his own grunts when he would train, except it was followed by a scream. That was concerning. Screaming may have been a regular part of his training, but he wasn’t naïve enough to think it was normal. He had different limits than other people, and, as someone on track to be the best hero, he had to be involved in some pretty scream-worthy situations.
But Touya? He was just a regular kid. Not to mention he probably wasn’t getting healed from all his pain and injuries like Keigo would after a training session. He shouldn’t be screaming like that. Who would be causing him that kind of pain? Why wasn’t Endeavor stopping them?
Keigo almost threw up when he got his answer.
“Get up,” he heard the voice of his favourite hero growl at his son. “You’re so worthless.”
The words hit Keigo like a punch in the gut, launching him back into the days when he lived with his parents. His father yelling and snapping at him, hitting him whenever he felt like it. His mother standing by, doing nothing while she watched it all happen.
Keigo never hated his mother (not like he hated his father), but he could never entirely forgive her for the way she just stood by. Hearing, watching, knowing, and doing absolutely nothing. He was still angry at her for that, and so he couldn’t let himself be her. Couldn’t let himself do that to another defenseless kid.
If he ever got the chance to talk to Touya again after this, maybe he’d try to tell him that. Maybe he’d get the chance to deliver his sob story and explain his actions – explain that he had to do something – because what he did next definitely warranted some explaining.
Keigo felt a rush of adrenalin as he sprung into action, flying through the open window. This is why he’d become a hero! To help people who couldn’t or wouldn’t help themselves.
But once Keigo was actually standing there, curtain tangled around his body, he realized he had no idea what he was doing. No plan to protect anyone, not even the vaguest idea of how to do anything except make the situation worse. And all he could think about was how useless he was, how disappointed his handlers would be in him for not thinking up a plan and just doing better.
He took some calming breaths, deciding to take in his surroundings as he thought of what to do next. The first thing he noticed was the heat, which was nearly unbearable for Keigo, especially having come from outside. He supposed that was to be expected with two fire quirk users. He scanned around, but the room was honestly pretty baren. There were mats covering the floors and a punching bag in the corner. The lighting was dim, and somehow even less welcoming than his private training rooms at the CTC. In the middle, Endeavor stood, towering over Touya, who was on the ground looking tiny in comparison and definitely more scared than Keigo ever thought Touya could be. Both of them were now staring at Keigo, probably too stunned by his sudden entrance to fry him on the spot.
“Leave him alone!” Keigo finally shouted, breaking the shocked silence as he wrestled himself out of the curtain.
Endeavor’s flame beard seemed to grow in size. “Who are you and why did you break into my house?”
Keigo tried not to be hurt by the fact Endeavor didn’t even recognize him at all. He had crimson wings, for Heaven’s sake – those usually stood out, at least a little. He flared his wings pettily, and Endeavor’s eyes narrowed at that, so maybe he did recognize him.
“I’m Hawks,” he finally said, trying to sound braver than he felt. “I’m Touya’s friend.”
Touya’s eyes went very wide at that. Maybe friend was a strong word, but Keigo didn’t really know what else to say.
“And what are you doing in my home?” In contrast to the flames on his beard, Endeavor’s voice was fairly calm and even. “Come to fight with my son again?” he sneered.
Keigo didn’t like his tone. As if his former favourite hero had any rights after Keigo had just heard him speak to his own child so rudely. “Looked like you were already doing that perfectly well.”
That got Endeavor to lose his temper very quickly.
“What you saw was training,” he said with a dangerous edge to his voice. “Clearly you know nothing of it. Now get out of my home and stay away.”
Keigo didn’t really have a reply to that. He looked to Touya, searching for something – just the slightest indication that he wanted Keigo to help – but all he found were the same cold blue eyes that adorned Endeavor’s face.
Panicking a little, he turned and fled out of their home.
Keigo was an idiot. A literal, stupid idiot.
He hadn’t realized it was possible to fail so spectacularly. He’d managed to upset his only friend, anger one of the most important heroes in Japan, get in trouble with the Commission President, and probably make Touya’s ‘training’ far worse, all while accomplishing absolutely nothing.
“Care to explain yourself, Hawks?” asked the President tapping her foot.
He was sitting in her office in that stupid highbacked chair again. He tried to collect himself and appear perfect and presentable and remorseful like he had learned to over the years when he got in trouble – which wasn’t usually this often. He’d sat before the President for discipline more times in the past month than he ever had for praise, or anything more positive than neutral feedback, which was honestly pathetic. Clearly, he wasn’t fit to be a hero if he couldn’t even keep himself out of trouble.
“Hawks,” she snapped. “Are you really letting yourself get distracted right now? Since when have you been so blatantly disrespectful of the rules and my authority?”
“No,” he said quickly. “I mean, yes, I was distracted, but I didn’t mean to be. I’m sorry, ma’am. I won’t let it happen again.”
“I keep hearing that from you, Hawks. ‘I’m sorry, it won’t happen again’. And yet it is, happening again. You know, your word means everything when you’re a hero. You won’t be able to get away with lying like that if you ever want to make the top 10.”
Keigo bitterly thought of Endeavor and the series of lies he must’ve told and things he’d probably hid to keep himself on top. He knew he should and would hold himself to higher standards than that wannabee, but it didn’t mean he wasn’t angry.
“So, tell me, why did you leave?” the President continued, her words and cold gaze pulling Keigo out of his thoughts.
Usually, Keigo was allowed to leave the building. He had scheduled flights three times a week where he could go wherever he wanted to just fly around. It was what he looked forward to all the time. Being able to fly in the open, to have time to himself to think and just exist. It was one of the only times he let himself forget about reality and the pressure of becoming a great hero. Of course, his handlers knew that, so one of the most common punishments he faced whenever he got in trouble or failed to meet their expectations during training was the loss of that privilege.
He hadn’t thought he’d get away with leaving. His trainings may have been over for the day, but he was fully aware it would be wishful thinking to believe they somehow wouldn’t notice one of their protegees went missing. What he didn’t account for was that his handlers had apparently found a way to track when and roughly where he went.
It would’ve been absolutely terrible if they had realized he went to the Todoroki home, so Keigo was incredibly thankful when he realized the tracker just pinpointed a general location, nowhere near exact enough to identify specific structures.
If they knew where he had gone, they’d ask why, and he didn’t know if he could explain his way out of that one without ratting Touya out. He had decided on his flight back that he wouldn’t say anything about what he saw. Not because he thought anything about it was okay, but because he knew Touya would never forgive him if he told, and he was still stupidly holding out hope that the older boy would one day not be mad at him.
“I… I missed flying. I knew I was banned from my flights for at least the rest of the month, and I didn’t want to wait that long. I felt cooped up and I needed to stretch my wings. It was my free time and so I thought no one would notice if I left for a bit,” Keigo lied, cool and easy and he kinda hated himself for it. Easy in his tone and his words, but inside he felt gross and hollow. He knew he got the skill from his mother, and he couldn’t quite stand the similarity.
“I know I was in trouble and shouldn’t have left,” he finished. “I’m sorry for disobeying you.”
Keigo knew something was wrong immediately by the way she smiled. She never smiled.
“I see,” she said. It wasn’t that her tone was sickeningly sweet, but the kindness that she spoke with sounded wrong to Keigo. It set off alarm bells in his head. “Is that all?”
On the off chance that he wasn’t digging his own grave, Keigo decided to stick with his lie. “Yes, ma’am.”
“Interesting,” she mused, taking a seat in her chair again. “So, Endeavour called.”
Keigo’s blood ran cold. Every muscle in his body tensed and he was perfectly still. There was a second where he didn’t dare to breathe, as if he could stop everything if he just stayed frozen. Then the illusion shattered, and he was thrust back into reality.
He swallowed thickly. “Oh?” was all he managed, and any calm collectedness he had was gone.
“You broke into his house and attacked him,” she stated. Her tone left no room for argument, and his heart sank for a second at the fact that she didn’t even want to let him try to explain. At the same time, he knew he lost his chance at her trust the second he started lying. He didn’t deserve to explain.
It didn’t matter that the statement was a bit of an exaggeration. It didn’t matter that he was trying to help. It didn’t mater that maybe if they knew the truth – the president, his handlers, anybody – they’d actually be proud of him for once: for noticing the signs, for stepping in when no one else could, for being brave. But no, he didn’t deserve that. Not only had he failed to make anything better for Touya, but he bent his morals by lying and screwed up any chance of redemption for himself too. None of it mattered because it was too late. Too late to do anything but take it.
“Yes, ma’am,” he said meekly.
She looked down, pinching the bridge of her nose. “Hawks, we took you in. We care for you, we cloth you, we treat you well. We help you accomplish your goal of becoming a hero. We saved you, Hawks, and this is how you repay us? By fighting people in corridors and breaking into houses?” She looked him up and down as Keigo fought off tears. “I thought we could change you, but maybe we made a mistake. Maybe you are destined to be your father.”
That broke something in Keigo. “No!” he shouted, standing so quickly, wings flailing so frantically that he knocked over the fancy chair. “Please, I’m sorry! Please don’t give up on me, I'm sorry I’m such a screw up, I’ll do better! Just don’t, don’t leave me. Please.”
He wasn’t sure when it happened, but the tears that he tried to fight back were now running down his face.
Silence filled the room and Keigo’s heart grew heavier every second. He had the horrid realization that it might be too late, that he may have truly messed up so badly that even the Commission wouldn’t take him in. He could beg and plead of course, but really, he couldn’t blame her if she decided he wasn’t worth the trouble.
He let a single sniffle out and she suddenly spoke again, her voice as sharp as daggers. “Pull yourself together, Hawks. I thought we talked to you about the crying already. And your wings. How have you not learned to control them throughout your emotional outbursts? You need to stop acting like a child and quit your tantrums.”
He breathed a sigh of relief and allowed himself one more shaky breath before he wiped away the tears and nodded curtly. He cursed himself for being so weak. He was lucky the President was so patient with his antics.
“I understand,” he said. “And I’ll do whatever it takes to prove to you that I am not my father, ma’am.”
She nodded absently, barely acknowledging him as she gathered papers on her desk. “Well, obviously you won’t be permitted to leave the premises until we can trust you again. If we can trust you. In the meantime, you’ll do extra training to keep busy. Both physical training and classes. I fear you’re falling behind if you think you can pull one over on me and get away with it.”
Keigo didn’t bother to mention how extra training in his already full schedule would eliminate any chance of free time. Then again, maybe that was the point – can’t get into trouble if you’re collapsing from exhaustion.
Instead of voicing any of that, he simply replied, “Thank you, ma’am.”
She gestured to the door as a form of dismissal, and he began to walk out.
“Oh, and Hawks?”
He paused, turning towards her immediately. “Yes?”
She had her backed turned him. “Don’t bother going to the nurse after training,” she said dryly. “If you think you’re strong enough to fight a pro hero, surely you don’t need us to heal you, right, Hawks?”
Keigo winced at that, thinking of all the bruises, cuts and sometimes breaks he had to face, but he dismissed the thoughts quickly, remembering real heroes wouldn’t get healed after every little training session. “Of course, ma’am, I understand.” he said, smiling politely at her and closing the door.
Keigo spent the next two weeks limping around the Training Centre. Every day a new part of his body seemed to be on the verge of collapsing. He swore there were more bruises on his body than skin. And on top of that, not being allowed to go for his flights made his feather feel weird and itchy.
He could, however, acknowledge that this was definitely making him stronger, so really, he’d have to thank the President for giving him this opportunity. He was excited for the punishment to be over, of course, but he was also pleased with the endurance he’d gained from it. That’s why he appreciated the President’s form of discipline. It was always helpful to him somehow, even if only in the long run. He’d gladly take the cuts and bruises now if they would turn him into a hero later.
Despite all this pain, the only thing that was on his mind was Touya. He couldn’t help but wonder about him at all hours. He was actually pretty sure a good half a dozen of his injuries could have been avoided if he was paying attention to literally anything but Touya, and whether or not he was okay and how much better he would be if he was the one doing this training and how his blue eyes would pop in this dark lighting.
He didn’t see Touya around at all, which didn’t help. Maybe if he could see him – just see that he was okay and fine and alive – Keigo would feel less of the agonizing guilt that was eating away at his stomach.
He went over various scenarios in his head about things he could say if he did happen to run into Touya. So far, he’d thought of apologizing, which would honestly probably make the older boy mad, or joking about the number of unhealed bruises he now had just to, you know, make light of the situation. He had a feeling that kind of joke would go over slightly better with Touya than Keigo’s sorrys. He seemed like a dark humour kind of guy.
He didn’t have any proof of that, though. Through all these rambling thoughts, Keigo had discovered he didn’t really know much about Touya at all. Despite the fact that the last couple months of his life had been centered around Touya – from getting him to be his friend, to worrying about him, to investigating, to worrying again, to maybe slightly obsessing over him somewhere in there – he couldn’t actually name a single thing about Touya that wasn’t an educated guess or a borderline creepy observation. He made a mental note that if he did ever get to speak to Touya again, which he realized was unlikely, he would get to know everything he could about him. Everything from his favourite hero – since it obviously wasn’t Endeavor – to his… his favourite type of cloud. Admittedly, Keigo had never had a best friend before so he didn’t know what kind of things they were supposed to know about each other, but he could imagine.
Keigo smiled sadly at the fantasy, at the idea of having a best friend like that. But he knew it was just that, a fantasy, because Touya wouldn’t ever forgive him, and rightfully so because Keigo didn’t deserve to be forgiven after how many times he had screwed up.
So instead, he appeased himself with the wondering and the thinking and the dwelling, knowing it was more than he deserved and definitely all he would get.
It had started so subtly that Keigo barely thought anything of it.
After about 3 weeks 4 days and roughly 10 hours – but who was really counting? – Keigo caught a glimpse of Touya in the hallway. He was simply relieved to see that he was alive and okay and still here.
He knew better than to approach him after everything he’d done, so he didn’t actually think he’d get any more than that – just the smallest glimpse in a hallway – but then Touya was in one of his training sessions a couple days later. They didn’t talk, in fact, Keigo was pretty sure Touya didn’t even look at him, but it was still so nice to be in his presence. Watch him work magic with his flames as he defeated the pretend enemies with the utmost grace and class.
Another day in training, on a rescue mission simulation, Touya was there again. They were working in completely different sections, with Keigo in charge of evacuation, like usual, and Touya more in the thick of things, helping by melting and moving debris. He wasn’t even sure how Touya knew, but Keigo, being distracted, missed one citizen during his initial sweep. That kind of mistake in reality would’ve cost lives. Keigo could blame it on his feathers not working as well due to them being bent out of shape and not properly groomed or healed – as per his punishment – but his handlers wouldn’t tolerate those kinds of excuses. And honestly, neither would he.
If he’d been caught, he would’ve got the lecture of a lifetime, not to mention they’d probably make him do more training with his feathers and the blindfold, and he hated that. But Touya was there, having grabbed a feather that Keigo was ready to recall, taking it to where the last hidden body was. Keigo then realized his mistake and corrected it quickly before anyone else could notice. When training was over and Keigo scanned the room for Touya, debating whether his thanks would be welcome, the other boy was nowhere to be found. Naturally, Keigo concluded he had looked too much into the gesture – stupid of him really, falling for these high hopes over and over again – and so he didn’t think anything else of it.
Shortly after that, he had started to see Touya everywhere. The only reason it shocked him was because he hadn’t seen him for so long before that. Before the incident (outside of Keigo’s private trainings with his handlers), Touya was there in most of his training sessions. They had a similar schedule, and so they’d see each other in the hallways and the cafeteria and the changerooms.
So when Keigo started seeing him around now that he was back, he thought things were just going back to normal. Except it was just a little more than normal. Previously, Keigo would have to go out of his way to actually be anywhere near Touya, even if they always saw each other. Now, however, he was always… close. Never talking to Keigo, or working directly with him, but always there. In the cafeteria, he’d sit as close as he could to Keigo’s table without actually sitting with him. During training, he’d position himself to fight next to Keigo, without actually fighting with him. In the halls, he’d follow several steps behind Keigo, never actually catching up with him, but taking all the same turns even when Keigo took the long route somewhere.
This was harder for Keigo to understand. He kept going back and forth between thinking something was definitely up and convincing himself he was looking way too much into it. Or even if he wasn’t, that the butterflies it gave him in his stomach weren’t valid. Whatever the reason for Touya’s weird behaviour, it couldn’t possibly mean he’d forgiven Keigo. Not after the way he’d screwed everything up.
At least that’s what he’d thought, but then all of Touya’s actions reached their climax. One day in training, he had actually smiled at Keigo. Touya, who hadn’t spared Keigo anything more than a neutral glare before he had screwed up, was now grinning at him.
Keigo’s first thought was that he had imagined it. He tried to make his glances towards Touya quick and far between lest he make the other boy uncomfortable, or worse, his handlers saw. So it was quite natural that he thought it hadn’t actually happened. Or that maybe Touya was looking at someone else. Whatever the case, Touya’s smile couldn’t possibly be directed at the person who broke into his house and made a complete fool of himself.
Except Keigo swore it kept happening. Over and over again, Keigo kept seeing – mostly out of the corner of his eyes, because again, he hardly ever stared at Touya for too long – that damn smile. In any other circumstance, he would’ve been so pleased and stared any chance he got. But now he was too terrified, convinced all of this had to be some cruel joke or some test that he was destined to fail.
About the fifth time he noticed it happen, Touya had seemingly had enough. The two were leaving the cafeteria; Keigo first with Touya in tow, as usual. Then Keigo both heard and felt the footsteps become angry stomps.
“Are you stupid or something?” an angry voice demanded.
Keigo whirled around to see Touya staring at him, eyebrow furrowed, arms crossed over his chest. “Well?”
“Huh?” Keigo finally mustered after a short pause.
“If you don’t want to talk to me anymore, you can just stop being a coward and say so,” Touya grumbled. “You don’t have to keep avoiding me.”
Now Keigo was completely lost. “Me? Not want to talk to you?” he mumbled, trying to understand.
“I knew it,” Touya said. “This was stupid. Forget it, I should’ve never said anything. Bye birdbrain,” he grumbled trying to push past Keigo.
“Wait,” Keigo said, physical stopping Touya.
“What, you haven’t seen me embarrass myself enough? Want a fucking encore?”
“You embarrass yourself?” Keigo repeated. “I’m the one who broke into your house and made a fool of myself in front of your dad! And that’s after I tried so hard to be your friend.”
For the first time up-close, Touya cracked a smile – a real one, too not those forced ones he’d been flashing at Keigo all week. “Honestly it was pretty hilarious.”
“I’m glad someone thought so,” Keigo mumbled.
Touya smiled again.
“So, you’re not mad at me?” Keigo asked cautiously.
“I was at first,” Touya admitted. “But I dunno, I just kind of changed my mind. I guess my dad ‘banning me from seeing you’ helped with that a little. No way I’m going to let him tell me what to do.”
Keigo laughed. “Well, let me be the first to say-” he looked around to make sure no one was around “-fuck Endeavor. I’m glad you didn’t listen to him.”
Touya snorted. “Please tell me that’s not the first time you said ‘fuck’,” he said between laughs.
Keigo blushed a little. “Well, hey, at least I know how to ask someone to be my friend,” he replied, sticking his tongue out.
Touya grinned and bumped Keigo’s shoulder. “Hey, don’t flatter yourself, birdy, I could still go.”
“Yeah, you follow me around for a week, but suuure, you’re going to leave.”
Touya fake pouted dramatically. “Maybe I will.”
Keigo wrapped a wing around the other boy. “Too late for that, Touy, you’re stuck with me.” Keigo smiled.
“Oh, and that reminds me,” he added. “What’s your favourite type of cloud?”