Archive of Our Own

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Hoseok fumbles around in his pockets balancing all the groceries on his hips, a spike of panic passing him as he feels the plastic bags slip while he quickly reaches to unlock the front door. When he finally manages to unlock it with a soft click, he sighs as he is met with a comforting and warm scent. Hoseok enters his shared apartment with light steps, struggling a bit to free his feet from the overly complicated and colorful sneakers that he enjoys too much but are a pain to get out of. Occupied with trying to not tumble over his feet, Hoseok does not register the dark shadows beginning to crawl underneath him.

A pair of strong pale hands grab at his waist, and Hoseok lets out a yelp of surprise before his body leans into the familiar touch. Cold fingertips sneak underneath his loose sweater, trailing the soft skin. Hoseok lets out a soft gasp, shivering as the sneaky fingers splayed across his skin. "Ah- Yoongi…''

Warm breath fans across his neck and a mop of black hair begin tickling him. A deep voice echoes throughout the seemingly empty apartment, "Hobah- missed you." He utters softly, the low octaves send ripples down Hoseok's spine.

Hoseok turns into a warm embrace coming to face his lover whose eyes seem too hooded and filled with lust for Hoseok’s liking. ''The groceries, " Hoseok pouts whining in a low tone, then the weight of the plastic bags lesson before they're eaten by the shadows around him. Hoseok hears that they reappear by the kitchen bench somewhere, bags gently plotting down.

He feels the shadows pull him down, creeping up his feet, slithering up his bare legs, and sliding upwards until his thighs are wrapped up in Yoongi's touch. It's tight, constricting his movements. The shadows held him in such a sensual and careful grip causing Hoseok's whole body to light up. Hoseok relishes the maddening touch, he never fails to be amazed at how Yoongi's shadow works in tandem to scatter across his body and touch him everywhere. It seems like the shadows are in a rush, working in harmony with Yoongi’s fingers to add pressure and dig into his skin just the way he likes it.

Hoseok’s knees buckle, unable to stand. He turns around to lean against a broad chest, head resting against Yoongi’s shoulder. He can feel the shadows want him to sink further, it's moving them downwards at a torturous pace. Hoseok’s eyes darted down watching how he was being swallowed, gray shadows dancing up his legs. As much as Hoseok wants to give into Yoongi and his very persistent shadow, they have things to do. ‘’Hyung, Jiminie is gonna be so mad if we are late for this lunch date.’’ Hoseok sighs, as Yoongi simply keeps nosing along the long slope of his neck-line, teeth gracing the skin gently.
‘’We’ll just be fashionable late, he'll understand.’’ Yoongi groans, kissing down Hoseok's neck to bite at his defined collarbones. His tongue dips down the little crater, suckling on the taut skin. He loves marking Hoseok up, the way the younger man glowed each time Yoongi’s sharp teeth graced his skin gave Yoongi’s dick another twitch. His tight grip on Hoseok’s hip almost became bruising.

Hoseok keened, quivering as he helplessly tried to push away without much strength behind his push. He began feeling light-headed, fumbling over his words as he held back a moan ‘’Yoongi-hyung, stop it.’’ His voice barely above a whisper, hips buckling backward to grind against Yoongi’s hard erection trapped within his loose boxers. There was no malice behind Hoseok's sweet tone, with an edge of desperation. His whole body glistened and sparkled from each kiss Yoongi placed down on the golden surface. Yoongi grins at his pretty lover, his shadows screaming at him to eat Hoseok whole. They begin to undo Hoseok’s shorts, slipping underneath the thin fabric and sliding them off those long sculpted toned thighs. The shadows play along the lines of his briefs’ pulling at the elastic band before slipping underneath.

‘’They have a mind on their own, I can’t help it that they want to touch your warm body baby.’’

Hoseok is squirming, gasping out as he feels the all-consuming embrace of Yoongi’s darkness. His whole lower body is consumed and wrapped up in him. He lets out a frustrated sigh, lifting his head to lock eyes with Yoongi. Hoseok’s iris is glowing in sharp contrast to Yoongi's, which are pitch black, sweeping down his face. ‘’You- better hurry up! Fifteen minutes tops.’’ Hoseok gives into him because he would always give into Yoongi. And the older man knew this very well.

As a bearer of light and a descendant of the darkness, Hoseok and Yoongi complement one another. There could be no light without shadow. No shadow without the reflection of light.

They were drawn to one another from the very start.

Yoongi had always been shunned, people who were one with shadows were always feared. It was frowned upon that one could truly live in peace with their shadow and not be consumed by it, fall victim to the darkness, and become evil.

All his life Yoongi had to navigate through the negative connotations and assumptions people bore when they crossed paths. He heard rumors and whispers behind his back. Growing up was tough on him, it left him guarded. He had very few people whom he opened up to and trusted. He was lucky to have met Namjoon during his first year of university; they stumbled along paths on the way to the music hall.

Namjoon was everything Yoongi was not, friendly, open, and willing to give people a chance. As a water warrior, Namjoon was everything Yoongi wished he could be, calm and level-headed, not rash and quick to judge. Yoongi was the stark opposite and glared his way through the corridors while with Namjoon you were met with a dimpled kindred smile. It was a miracle they became friends, bonding over their mutual interest in music and hip-hop. Although Namjoon was a gentle giant, his music was hard-hitting and unforgiving. Poking holes at the flaws in society through angry eyes, misguided and raw with emotion that even had Yoongi choke up while he listened. They grew close relatively fast, and as Namjoon’s best friend he had to listen to the taller man go on and on about this cute guy he harbored the biggest crush on.

Park Jimin, a wind guardian, floats through the halls like he was walking on air because he actually was. Jimin was hard not to adore, pretty and sweet to everyone.

Yoongi could see why Namjoon became so smitten with him, and he owes Namjoon his everything because if it weren't for his crush on Jimin, he and Hoseok would never cross paths. Yoongi remembers it like it was yesterday, the day they met for the first time. Yoongi and Namjoon sat outside by a bench, the taller one spilling his drink all over his lap the moment he saw Jimin soaring his way. Everything was normal, Namjoon making a fool out of himself, and Jimin giggling like a schoolgirl at him. But running after Jimin was Jung Hoseok.

The man of Yoongi’s wildest dream, an ethereal beauty that shone so bright he could rival the sun. Yoongi almost thought he was going blind, having to shield his eyes to adjust to the intensity of Hoseok’s glow. His heart took a leap, his shadow running away from him and darting towards a panting Hoseok who had to catch his breath. The light emanating from the heart-shaped smile made Yoongi forget to blink, mind zapped by the sudden need to hold those long slender fingers and kiss those cherry-colored lips. His shadow was no better than him, getting entangled up in Hoseok’s light, wrapping around the surprised male.

He almost fell to the ground trying to get up and fetch the shadow, a ridiculous bright blush spread across his face as he began to apologize profusely. He tugged his shadow back but they wouldn't let go, only pulling Hoseok closer until he fell right into Yoongi’s arms.

‘’I’m so sorry, they normally don't act like this, I swear!’’ Yoongi panicked, mind drifting from him as he contemplated hugging Hoseok closer and letting the seemingly complete stranger free from his grasp. He smelled sweet like vanilla and a floral scent rushed down Yoongi's senses, setting everything ablaze as he blinked, sweating nervously.

Hoseok blushed, shaking his head. ‘’It’s fine. I don't mind. And besides, they tickle.’’ The sun bearer laughed and Yoongi swore he heard church bells, the sound was something he would do anything to listen to for as long as he walked the earth.

And the rest was history ever since.

Fast forward a couple of years now, Namjoon and Jimin were still sickenly and grossly in love just like their uni days. And as grateful as Yoongi is for Jimin introducing him to his Hoseok, he could go suck it.

He and Hoseok lived in and operated on two completely different schedules.

Hoseok taught dance classes in the mornings while Yoongi worked at night times as a bartender while producing his music on the side. They barely saw one another and the sparse moment in the evening when they had one another to themselves Yoongi didn't want to waste. Normally Hoseok would be gone when he awoke and Yoongi left for work just as Hoseok came home. Yoongi has been feening to ravish his loving boyfriend since Hoseok had to teach dance classes and hated being sore in the mornings after their nightly activities. But today was a Friday, meaning Hoseok had no classes in the mornings and Yoongi could afford to show up a little late to his work.

The shadows tightly bound both of Hoseok’s wrists together, lifting his loose shirt upwards. Hoseok’s lower half was engulfed, sinking into the shadow beneath their floor. Hoseok has never feared the dark, he grew up in the light. People were drawn to him no matter what he did, he was a star to people. He lit up any room he stepped foot in, attention immediately on him. They wanted his light, like moths to a flame, Hoseok drew in all kinds of people even the bad along with the good. He had over time become accustomed to rooting out the people only craving him for his light, and not him.

But Yoongi was different, he fell so hard and fast. Hoseok saw it all in his eyes, how infatuated Yoongi became with all of him, not only his light. Hoseok had never known he could be loved, cherished, and cared for the way Yoongi did. May it be silently with the massages after a rough day, little post-it notes with cute doodles, and packed homemade lunches, or loudly with the way Yoongi held him close every single night promising he would never let go.

The blackness emanating from Yoongi was Hoseok’s blanket of protection, a place for Hoseok’s heart to beat quietly in a steady rhythm.

Hoseok felt hazy, the fuzzy feeling he got from Yoongi’s intoxicating touch drove him to the edge and pushed him right off. He was breathless, his heart pounded and blood roared in his ears. He was burning, shaking from Yoongi’s everything. The shadow swallowing him was an extension of Yoongi, his raw unadulterated shameless love. It was intense and overbearing as his head sank underneath the shadow. Hoseok could feel himself being kissed by Yoongi’s shadow everywhere all at once. Hoseok didn't even know where he began and Yoongi ended.

Yoongi’s shadow could open a rift to a place where he was completely in control. While Hoseok’s powers shone a blindingly bright light that could burn, Hoseok’s light never burnt Yoongi. The brighter Hoseok's love for Yoongi shone, the more intense Yoong's darkness became. He could do much in close proximity, like open portals to places not too far away from where he stood, and manifest his shadow to attack. However, Yoongi was more on the defensive side.

Mastering a shadow took years, hard training, and determination. His body and mind had to be one, it took all of his strength and energy to manipulate it. Yoongi spent the better half of his childhood which was rooted in hatred and confusion to pour all his negative emotions into his shadow. He was desperate to prove to all the people who looked at him like he was some sort of freak of nature wrong. He was in complete control, he was the master of his shadow. That meant Yoongi fully let himself feel all of his emotions, even the ones he ran from scared to confront.

However, after meeting Hoseok, Yoongi had never been this in tune with himself and his shadow. Hoseok came into his life, and as cheesy as it sounds, he truly did light a fire in his heart. This led Yoongi to forgive himself, love himself and allow himself a happiness that he once thought was never meant for the likes of him.

To Hoseok, he felt Yoongi’s darkness come as strong protective arms, holding them close until the promised dawn. Yoongi’s shadow, although pitch black darkness was so much more than just empty spaces. They were different shapes in monochrome, and Hoseok’s daylight could bring brilliant fuchsia or deepest scarlet. His blinding white light mixed with Yoongi’s dark created a colorful paradise just for the two of them to call home. Their sanctuary, a love manifested by them.

Hoseok felt the familiar darkness come to like the thick velvet curtains of the theater. The warmest of hugs, nothing could compare it to Yoongi’s shadow. This was a reason why Hoseok only shone his truly brightest when they were together. There was something in the darkness that was like a promise, like a world before dawn. In his shadow, Hoseok felt complete, being loved for who he was in a place out of time, a place to rest without consequence. A place to recharge and forget the things the world said had to be done. Just because Hoseok had been a child of light did not mean that he did feel dim at times, overwhelmed by the world. Hoseok shone, but he wasn't exempt from burning out at times. However, in Yoongi’s arms, in his shadow, Hoseok felt safe to just breathe. To simply exist and to step out of the craziness for a while.

So, in the darkness that never stole his light, never asked anything of him, Hoseok felt the most content.

Hoseok was gently laid on the silky sheets, parts of his body were still sunken in the darkness but Yoongi enjoyed having him on the bed as well. Hoseok became all docile, putty in Yoongi’s large palms. A mold for the older to toy with, mold him into anything he wanted. And Yoongi did just that. He thrived taking Hoseok apart, tongue licking across his toned stomach, dipping into every curve. Lips kissing each mole, taking slow languid strokes as he dragged his mouth further down south. Hoseok thrashed in pleasure, still restricted by the shadow tying his wrist together.

He let out a strangled noise once he felt Yoongi’s sinful warm mouth engulf his erection. His face twisted, whimpering as his hips buckled chasing the warmth. Yoongi let out a pleased hum before swallowing him whole, letting Hoseok’s hit the back of his tight throat. The pulsating hard length that Yoongi had spent years sucking felt heavy on his tongue. He slurped and swirled his tongue around the familiar sensitive areas that he knew would make Hoseok see stars. Incoherent mumbles poured from Hoseok’s mouth, but Yoongi could make out the small pleas begging him to go faster.

He pulled out, head popping out from the shadow to stare in awe at the flustered male. Hoseok was a mess, cheeks blushed and eyes screwed shut. It was a memorizing sight, Yoongi’s heart threatening to leap right out of his chest. He shoved a hand between Hoseok’s legs, pulling them apart. The underwear had been torn, and his shadows accidentally got a little too excited, as they always did whenever they had Hoseok to their full disposal.

‘’You want me to hurry up, don't you baby?’’

Yoongi teased knowing Hoseok hated being late and here he was purposely wasting time.

‘’Hyung- please-’’ The other could only plead, knowing he was still under his mercy.

‘’Ask, and you shall receive my love.’’ Yoongi husked, spreading Hoseok’s plump cheeks apart, tongue lapping at the entrance with long wet strokes. He circled the rim, massaging it before breaching the tight ring. Hoseok arched back, moaning out loud as his toes curled. Yoongi’s tongue dipped into the familiar heat, lapping around the velvety walls. He delved deeper as Hoseok’s moan only grew louder and louder as he suckled on the wet heat. Yoongi pulled back only to exchange his wet tongue with his long fingers, not before wetting them with Hoseok’s saliva.

He enjoyed fingering Hoseok open, going up to three fingers until he was stretched to his limit. But that was to be saved for another time. He had been deprived of his lover for too long not to want to delve in straight away. After inserting his second finger, quickly stretching the rim loose enough that it still wouldn't hurt his love, Yoongi deemed Hoseok ready. ‘’I’m gonna fuck you now, okay baby?’’ He purred, lifting one of Hoseok’s legs upwards out of the shadow, Hoseok whined feeling the cool air in their bedroom nip at his skin. ‘’Yes-'’ Yoongi heard Hoseok groan as a confirmation before he placed a chaste kiss on his knee aligning himself and sinking in, slowly.

Hoseok let out a broken string of pants, breath hitching as Yoongi’s large cock practically split him open. The burn of the stretch was still after all this time, a bitch to get used to. Without proper prep, Hoseok would be sore for days after. But it felt too good, mind in a numbing pleasure to even care about the aftermath. The only thing that mattered was Yoongi, here now deep inside of him.

His body had already limp in the shadow as he felt them clench around him, tightly hugging him as Yoongi fully bottoms out. Yoongi’s sweating, pushing the black locks back revealing his handsome forehead while Hoseok drowns in his musky scent that makes him even harder. His skin prickles as he struggles with exhaling. ‘’Yoongi- hyung-’’ He chokes out once Yoongi slowly pulls out only to thrust back in, fast.

‘’You want it like this baby? Fast, and hard-’’ He coos as Hoseok can only nod, crying out once Yoongi seems to hit his most sensitive spots dead on. Yoongi digs his fingers into Hoseok’s hips, bending over him and pulling him further down into his shadow with each thrust of his hips. He sets a fast pace, one that makes Hoseok see stars. With each snap of his hips, he gets buried into Hoseok, like he is chasing after his high. It doesn't take long for them both to feel the sizzling heat build, their labored breath in sync as the pulsing heat wraps around Yoongi causing him to lose his steady rhythm.

Hoseok peeks up at him through thick lashes clumped together by his tears, submerging from the shadows that lessen their frantic grips on him. The way Yoongi intertwined their hands, his hot and trembling ones fitting perfectly makes Hoseok keen. Hoseok can hear Yoongi’s hurried heartbeats echo off the walls along with his low ragged huffs. A gentle voice calls out for him, for Hoseok only and the latter feels everything dissolve into raw intense pleasure. Time stops, waves after waves hit him, sending electricity down all his nerves as they are lit on fire. Hoseok’s body shines so brightly, rays of light pouring from every cell as he lets his love for Yoongi take over. The fire pooling in Yoongi’s abdomen soars, soaking up the warmth emanating from Hoseok as he comes inside him, filling him up to the brim.

They both collapse, riding out the orgasmic aftershock by gently exchanging slow kisses. Yoongi’s fingers tenderly caress Hoseok's worn-out body, sending tingles zig-zag down his spine. They stay like this for a while, until Hoseok complains about feeling sticky and gross nudging Yoongi to get up and fetch a washcloth.

-

The couple arrives after a quick and slightly steamy shower at the restaurant where Jimin and Namjoon are sitting already halfway into their meals.

‘’Nice of you to finally show.’’

Jimin glares at them, eyes narrowing, Namjoon sighs at his boyfriend's childishness but there's still a fond smile tugging on his lips.

The waiter comes to them after they have taken their seats, and hands them the menu not before taking a long glance at Hoseok whose neck is all marked up. The waiter boy isn't shy or smooth with the way he tries to soak up Hoseok's delicious afterglow, soft light rays emanating each time Yoongi brings him to peek ecstasy. Hoseok is oblivious to him busy scanning the menu but Yoongi sees. He hates how others love to gawk at his lover, feel just to bask in the light unwanted.

It was his.

Yoongi sends a death glare at the waiter, his eyes flashing black to scare him off. The waiter's face turns pale, the little roses on his head withering before he quickly excuses himself and runs off to the kitchen hiding.

‘’Fuckin’ flower buds,’’ Yoongi curses underneath his breath, and Namjoon chuckles at him. ‘’You never change do you, hyung.’’

Hoseok looks up at his menu confused. ‘’Wait what happened?’’

Jimin simply ignores them in favor of reaching out to hold Hoseok’s hand, ‘’ Hyungie! I missed you.’’ He pouts, bottom lip jutting outwards.

Hoseok tilts his head to the side, like a lost puppy. ‘’We saw each other yesterday, Minnie. We work together, remember?’’ He smiles at the younger, and Jimin pouts deeply, faking hurt puppy eyes. ‘’24 hours away from you hyung feels like an eternity." Jimin whines, frowning.

‘’Now you know how I feel, Jimin-ah, and why we were late," Yoongi tells him, flipping the menu nonchalantly.

Jimin rolls his eyes, ‘’No, you were late because you can't keep it in your pants hyung."

Yoongi stares at him, raising a brow. ‘’And what about it?'' He challenges Jimin who scowls at him like a pissed-off kitten. ‘’Don't corrupt my hyungie-" A gust of wind ruffles Yoongi's clothes and lazy laid-back hair. Yoongi huffs out an annoyed breath, jaw ticking. "Your hyungie?''

Namjoon comes in as the peacemaker, Hoseok still engrossed in the menu and dismissing his boyfriend and best friend's petty arguments. ‘’Okay you two stop it, Hoseok-ah how have you been?" Namjoon chooses to change topics, letting Yoongi and Jimin stare daggers at one another in the background.

‘’I've been well Joon-ah, the studio has been popping lately, the videos online garnet so much attraction." Hoseok beams smiling wide as the whole restaurant turns towards their table to look at the lights pouring from him.

That was just normal when Hoseok was with you, everyone turning their heads to admire him and his light. It made Yoongi's heart bleed and cheeks blush thinking about how lucky he was to be with the other.

Jimin sighs deeply, fork picking at his salad. ‘’Hyungie it's because people see you dance and instantly fall for you too-"

‘’Jiminie, your dancing brings in so many people too. They swear they saw an angel flying!" Hoseok compliments him and Jimin cannot fight his blush, modesty wasn't his color but Hoseok made him feel so shy at times with his sincerity.

‘’Hyungie-" Jimin stutters, fluttering his eyes at Hoseok who smiles warmly at him.

Yoongi is visibly irked, Jimin always enjoyed flirting with Hoseok right in front of him to deliberately piss him off. The two were platonic soulmates, which meant Yoongi had to deal with Jimin butting in on their relationship on the regular because he adored his Hoseok-hyung more than anything. He can still remember Jimin threatening to send him flying so high he'd reach the stratosphere if he ever made Hoseok cry. It was cute at first, Jimin was an overprotective best friend not wanting to see Hoseok hurt. But now it was growing stale, he had proven himself countless times that he would always put Hoseok’s needs and wants and betterment first. Jimin knew this well, more than anyone but he would still be annoying and push Yoongi’s buttons for fun.

However, despite their bickering Jimin still cared for and loved Yoongi. Yoongi too, despite his short fuse, couldn't stay mad at Jimin for long. Their constant back and forth was never a hindrance for them. Jimin's go-to person if he was troubled, besides his boyfriend, was Yoongi-hyung. He would always stop and listen to Jimin's problems and hear him out fully, not just rush to find solutions. He always encouraged Jimin when he felt down and when his insecurities got the best of him. And to Yoongi, Jimin was always there to give him a shoulder to lean on and confide in him when he didn't feel like bothering Hoseok with his issues. Yoongi sometimes felt like Hoseok was too good for him, like he wasn't worth all of Hoseok's radiance. But Jimin reassured him that in all the years he had known Hoseok, he had never seen the other shine so bright than what he did next to him.

‘’Well, I have been good too," Yoongi interrupted the two and Jimin scoffed at him, not sparing him a glance, "Nobody asked."

"Jimin-ah!" Namjoon and Hoseok scold him in tandem. "Be nice to hyung," Hoseok tells him sternly, reaching out to gently tuck back a lock of Yoongi’s hair behind his ear. Yoongi grins all smug before he swoons when Hoseok leans over to quickly kiss his cheek. Jimin sticks his tongue out at Yoongi but the older one simply ignores him.

Hoseok places the menu down, eyes focusing on Namjoon who seems lost in his thoughts. ‘’How is the music coming along?’’ He inquired about Namjoon’s work.

Namjoon grimaces like he was reminded of something he’d rather forget. ‘’It's a process…’’ He leans back in his chair, shoulder slumped. Jimin holds his hand, giving him a squeeze.

‘’Is it the melody or lyrics?’’

‘’Melody comes easy but finding the right lyrics to tell the story is hard, words are hard.’’ Namjon sulks while Jimin massages his shoulders.

Hoseok pauses, both elbows on the table supporting his chin as he thinks deeply. ‘’Hmm, I see… Inspiration is tough, maybe you should try checking out places you've never been? Like in random places doing random things like going on walks, biking, visiting art galleries. We live in such a vast world but it's easy to feel like you're stuck in a box. But I truly believe you can find inspiration anywhere, if you don't look for it it will come to you.’’

Namjoon stares in awe, Hoseok had such wise and thoughtful advice, it made Namjoon glad he had the other as a friend. He smiles, dimples deep feeling a bit more hopeful about his music journey. ‘’I’ll try that, thanks Hob-ah.’’

Jimin has literal stars in his eyes, fawning over Hoseok like his words are gospel. ‘’You are so intelligent hyungie, and cute.’’ Jimin coos while Hoseok blushes slightly waving off the compliments.

‘’Yah, Park Jimin. Back. Off.’’ Yoongi grits at him.

Jimin chooses to ignore the empty threats, ‘’Yoongi-hyung better treat you right or else.’’

Hoseok gives Yoongi a side hug, placing his head on his shoulders. ‘’He does! He's the best, treats me like a prince, and spoils me like a princess.’’ Hoseok sings as Yoongi nods approvingly at his lover’s statement.

‘’I’m sure Joon-ah does the same to you, I saw those new Chelsea boots.’’ Hoseok teases as Jimin shrugs like it common knowledge, ‘’Well, yeah of course my Namjoonie treats me well.’’

‘’You are lucky Jimin-ah likes you too much to really make your pockets hurt Joon-ah. I remember all the gifts he used to get. Don't even get me started on the diamond-encrusted rings!’’ Hoseok laughs, all bubbly and sweet, and Yoongi has to control his heart feeling it squeeze.

Jimin flips his hair arrogantly, playing it up that he used to be such a catch before he found his person. ‘’They look pretty on me.’’

‘’Anything looks pretty on you Jiminie.’’ Hoseok giggles and Namjoon speaks up hand coming to poke Jimin’s cheek, ‘’Ain’t that the truth.’’ Jimin blushes, it's a pretty sight seeing the usually confident and smug male become all shy around Namjoon.

‘’The only diamond ring Namjoon-ah is gonna get you will be a wedding ring,’’ Yoongi says casually, catching them all off guard.

Hoseok gaps like he just heard something scandalous. ‘’Hyung!’’ He slaps his shoulder gently, and Yoongi looks at him confused.

Namjoon grins, ‘’Well that's not before Yoongi-hyung gets the balls to ask you Hob-ah. ‘’

Warmth spreads across Hoseok’s face, and Yoongi coughs, clearing his throat. The couple tries avoiding eye contact with Namjoon and Jimin like there is something they are obviously hiding.

‘’What’s going on, hyung?’’ Jimin demanded to know what they were trying to hide.

Hoseok cannot contain his million-watt smile, ‘’Well… We sorta, kinda have planned everything out already. What kinds of flowers, playlists, and what flavor of the cake.’’ Hoseok blossoms where he sits, eyes shining in such a way that could only mean pure happiness, so vibrant it melts Jimin's heart. His childish anger about his best friend keeping it a secret vanishes.

‘’Well, you have to show me everything!’’ Jimin beams, excited while Namjoon gives an approving smile towards Yoongi who is a blushing mess, his cheeks tinted bright pink.

‘’I have Pinterest boards…’’ Hoseok confesses, fishing for his phone and pulling it out to show Jimin. ‘’It's silly but I actually began after our first date.’’

Jimin suppresses a high-pitched squeal. ‘’Hyungie that's adorable.’’

Hoseok buries his face in his hands after giving the phone over to Jimin’s awaiting grabby hands, ears burning. ‘’Stop, it's embarrassing...-’’ He whines, Yoongi rubs his back with smooth motions reassuringly.

‘’No, it's not. I plan on making everything on that Pinterest board a reality so…’’ Yoongi states proudly, flashing a gummy smile and it makes a surge of emotions clog up Hoseok’s throat. ‘’Hyung!’’ Hoseok utters softly. ‘’What, only the best for my love-’’ Yoongi sings as Jimin's face twists into a grimace.

‘’Ew-’’

-

After lunch, Yoongi and Hoseok head down to their mutual friend, Seokjin’s training hall. He opened up a safe space for people to train, spar, and develop their abilities in a controlled environment.

The couple met Seokjin through Namjoon, he was looking for experienced people to help guide the young who were still learning about themself and their elements. Hoseok agreed immediately, he loved to help. It took a bit more convincing Yoongi who was scared he’d somehow end up hurting one of the kids. But they were rest assured that nothing of the sort would ever happen since Seokjin was a healer. He would always be on standby in case of any emergencies. This helped ease off some of Yoongi’s nerves.

Hoseok had started helping Seokjin’s brother Taehyung, a fire-breather who was terrified to even speak. This was the whole reason why Seokjin started his facility, to help people like his younger brother who had no control over his powers. Since the fire and light element was a descendant of the sun, Hoseok could easily help navigate Taehyung through his training. A few months had passed but Taehyung could finally find his voice again, set on a path of conquering his fire with the help of Hoseok.

This inspired Yoongi to try and do the same, be a mentor and help guide the misguided on the right track. Oh, how he wished he had someone like that growing up. Someone to teach him how it all worked. But he rather will become that person. Lend a helping hand and better himself in the process.

And he became just that to a kid named Jeon Jungkook.

Jungkook was a shadow user just like Yoongi who had stumbled across Seokjin’s hall by complete accident and stolen all of their collective hearts. Jungkook is a prodigy, they could all see the endless potential trapped behind the scared Bambi eyes. This was common among the darker elements, children have been thought to be afraid of scary things like shadows. Jungkook had never used, explored his shadow, petrified by the thought even. It took Yoongi months to help him get over that initial fear.

His untamed shadow made Yoongi uneasy at times, since it was limitless but came with a cost. Giving in to the depth of the darkness could mean you would get swallowed whole. This made Yoongi very cautious with his training, especially since their recent discovery was that Jungkook was able to tear into dimensions with his shadow. Yoongi had his balance after meeting Hoseok, his shadow being reflected by Hoseok’s light. But with Jungkook who only had his shadow, it was scary just how far his powers could expand.

The pair make their way into the hall, after greeting Taehyung and Seokjin who are busy helping a group of teens with their elements outside. Seokjin had requested an airtight room with no specs of light for their training, and in the middle of the vast room sat Jungkook fumbling with his shoelaces.

Their entrance made the younger look up, eyes beaming at the sight of the two. ‘’Hyungs!’’ Jungkook yelled excitedly as he ran towards them.

Hoseok waves his arms frantically yelling back at him equally excitedly. ‘’Hi, Jaykay!’’

Jungkook ran straight past Yoongi, practically jumping into Hoseok’s warm embrace. ‘’Hobi-hyung.’’ They hugged, Hoseok ruffling the wild black locks on top of Jungkook’s head. He squeezed his cheeks, ‘’Hello sweetheart! I missed you.’’ Hoseok smiles, and Jungkook’s face blossoms, the tips of his cheeks redding. ‘’Missed you too hyung.’’ He mumbles having difficulties with Hoseok squeezing his cheeks.

It was only natural as a descendant of shadows that Jungkook orbited towards Hoseok. Some shadows could exist without light but they craved it and quickly became attached. Hoseok’s powers came from the sun, the creation of all things living, and Jungkook, unable to contain his powers, longed for warmth.

And it really shouldn't bother Yoongi, he knows Jungkook’s just a kid but it still stung seeing how greedily the shadow clung to Hoseok. He knows Jungkook can't help it, that shadows think and behave on their own but the way Jungkook gazed at Hoseok like he personally hung the stars up in the sky made him tick.

Hoseok noticed Yoongi pouting where he stood, he knew that the other was territorial. It was something he tried to better, but alas the cute rivalry between the two made Hoseok laugh. He knew Yoongi also knew he had literally no competition in the world but here his cute boyfriend stood letting jealousy get the best of him. He couldn't help but tease him a little, finding his boyfriend's reactions cute. ‘’Yoonie, stop being all jelly and get over here.’’

Hoseok knew his light was susceptible to Jungkook’s shadow. He did not see it as a threat. It felt different from Yoongi’s whom he loved, Jungkook’s shadow moved with hesitation. His light doesn't immediately shun Jungkook away since he knows that Jungkook’s young, and doesn't know better. They engage in a friendly dance but Yoongi’s shadow still has a tight grip on him anytime Jungkook’s near and Hoseok finds it pretty darn cute.

Yoongi grumbles but joins the hug. ‘’You’re growing taller, buddy. ‘’ Yoongi teases Jungkook who pouts, ‘’I’m gonna grow taller than you Yoongi-hyung, that’s for sure.’’ Jungkook huffs, puffing his chest. Yoongi bites back a smile and Hoseok breaks the hug between them giggling, ‘’Yah keep the trash talk for when you're on the field.’’

Jungkook then turns to Hoseok, ‘’Be sure that you watch me out there hyung, I’m gonna show off my new move!’’ The toothy smile and wrinkles of his scrunched nose make Hoseok smile as he nods. ‘’My eyes are on you, okay Jaykay?’’

They high-five before Jungkook’s off to the middle of the room, stretching his limbs.

Yoongi follows behind him, curious to see the new move he had been bragging about.

Hoseok watches them from the doors, the platform was elevated giving a nice view of the fight.

Their sparring began how it always did, with Yoongi moving his shadows to attack Jungkook and the younger trying to dodge. Hoseok cheered on from where he stood, clapping each time Jungkook successfully countered Yoongi.

Jungkook's confidence only grew with a smug smile tugging on his lips when he made Yoongi trip over and almost fall before sinking into his shadow. ‘’Lucky.’’

Their fighting only progressed, Yoongi suddenly feeling the urge to go harder on Jungkook thinking the younger could handle it. And surprisingly, Jungkook navigated through Yoongi’s attack with ease. It wasn't a lie when they boosted Jungkook's ability to adapt. The kid was truly talented.

It made Yoongi want to push him further, to see him achieve more, more than he ever could. Jungkook could do great things with his powers, perhaps even save lives one day if he chooses to.

‘’Keep it up, kid, maybe you'll reach my level one day.’’

Trash talk was a key component of fighting, trying to get under the opponent's skin, find out what made them tick, and push their limits.

‘’I think that day might come sooner, hyung-’’ Jungkook’s tone was edged with sarcasm, throwing a curve at Yoongi who slipped. ‘’Out with the old and in with new, don't they say that?’’ He smirked as Yoongi chuckled.

‘’Yeah but there are still a few tricks up my sleeve you could learn from,’’ Yoongi tells him before his shadow comes from behind and ties Jungkook’s feet together. ‘’Hey!’’

Yoongi hears Hoseok’s disapproving boo’ing from where he stands and he turns around to face and poses as if he had won.

A thought then popped up in Jungkook’s mind, the only weakness Yoongi ever had.

‘’Hoseok-hyungie light feels very good, it’s like a portable sun anywhere he goes.’’ Jungkook starts grinning once Yoongi whips his head around to face Jungkook, playfulness gone. His face became all hard lines, his mouth forming a thin line. ‘’You will never have his light,’’ Yoongi tells him calmly, his shadow letting go. His tone was cold as steel. There were some boundaries he shouldn't have crossed, Jungkook knew this but it was so easy to make his hyung become all defensive. Jungkook knows he should not say things like this, he knows Yoongi will get upset at him but at this time, Jungkook didn't care.

Jungkook straightens himself out, tilting his head to the side. With a sly smirk, he mocks Yoongi. ‘’You wanna bet?’’
This was the turning point when things got serious. No longer was there an option of friendly sparring, they wouldn't let their egos rest until one had succumbed.

Their eyes turned black, and sweeping from the orbs were their shadows. Both let their emotions get the best of them, letting into the darkness that harbored in their souls.

Hoseok could suddenly sense the air grow cold like something was deeply disturbed.

‘’Hey, you guys can stop now, it’s been half an hour already.’’ Hoseok's voice was laced with concern but they didn't hear him.

They just kept circling one another, teeth grinding as their fingers cracked. Something was wrong, Hoseok could feel it in his heart. He quickly pushed the emergency help button by the door. Red blazing light lowered from the ceiling, alarm piercing throughout the whole facility.

Hoseok then started moving into the fighting era with quick steps, noticing that they weren't sparring anymore. They were fighting for real with the intention of hurting one another. Yoongi’s shadow corners Jungkook from all directions, pulling him down but Jungkook struggles, breaking free but just barely. He sends his shadow propelling towards Yoongi who dodges it with ease. ‘’You have to do better than that, kiddo.’’ He mocks Jungkook and the younger one sees red.

Hoseok tries to shout but they won't listen, not caring about the alarms going off. Their shadows illuminated by the red only makes Jungkook angrier, he closes his eyes. From the depths of his soul, Jungkook conjures the darkest side of himself, the deepest of shadows. He lets the inner demons take full reign, losing himself for the taste of victory as he tears a rift right open into the abyss and sends it flying towards Yoongi who turns his back on him to face Hoseok who is quickly approaching.

Jungkook’s shadow soars through the air at a rapid speed. Jungkook can't even blink because it happened so fast. Yoongi was pushed out of the way before a blinding light shined as it got eaten up by the black abyss. They both fell to the ground exhausted, unsure of what happened. It slowly hits them once their rage subsides that Hoseok is gone. He had managed to push Yoongi away just milliseconds before Jungkook’s shadow had gotten to him.

‘’Hoseok?’’

Yoongi's voice calls out, so small and scared. Like his whole world has been stripped away from him in a blink of an eye. He trembles his hand reaching out to the place where Hoseok just stood in front of him. A broken sob cracks him, eyes wetting as he grips the nothingness in the air. ‘’Hoseokkie?’’ He tries again and again frantically looking around to see where his love had gone. This couldn't be happening, right?

Another wave hits Yoongi as he cries out for Hoseok. Despair seeps in, tearing down Yoongi from the inside. His breathing becomes ragged, he feels his throat seize up. Yoongi’s eyes sting, and he sinks to his knees. The sadness that fell on him suddenly turned into anger.

Yoongi snapped up, focusing on Jungkook who was clenching his stomach and face, losing color fast. Jungkook cried out in pain, rolling on the ground becoming rigid as a blood-curdling scream cut through him.

‘’WHAT DID YOU DO.’’

Yoongi’s pupils are fully blacked out, there's no sign of any whites. His shadow bleeds right out of him, fully enraged as it turns the attention to the culprit that took their light. Angry eyes bore through Jungkook’s body, and Yoongi has switched gears from sadness to cold emotional indifference. Never has he let his shadow emerge as a threat. His softer self has taken a backseat like it had been put on hold until he got Hoseok back.

The shadows wrap around Jungkook, clawing at him as the younger boy gasps for air. ‘’Hyung, I- don’t know- I-’’ Jungkook sobs, thrashing the hold, tears flowing down his face. Yoongi’s jaw clenches but before anything else can happen, Seokjin storms inside. ‘’What is going on here?’’ He sees Yoongi holding Jungkok up, his shadow hurting the poor child as he cries. ‘’Yoongi, let him go now!’’ Seokjin yells at him running to them.

But Yoongi cannot hear him, it's only white noise. The anger sizzling from within him does not tame, it won't until he gets Hoseok back.

Seokjin grabs Yoongi by the shoulder, trying to shake some sense into him. The healer gasps once he sees the distraught on Yoongi’s face, tears flowing down his cheeks. ‘’Yoongi, tell me what happened? Where’s Hob-ah?’’

It breaks Yoongi from the inside, the fact that he cannot answer him. That his shadow cannot reach Hoseok’s light. ‘’I can't feel him hyung, Hoseok- it’s like he disappeared…’’ He tries to explain, his heart hurting like it has been ripped right out of his chest. His words are even lost to himself, how could he have let this happen?

Seokjin takes a step back confused. ‘’What?’’ He looks at Jungkook who is on the floor weeping, twisting in pain. ‘’Jungkook-ah, what did you do?’’ He gently bends down to check for any injuries.

Jungkook only sobs harder, ‘'I didn't mean to hyung, I swear!’’ He cries, shaking his head like he is terrified. Seokjin struggles to put the pieces together until it slowly hits him. Yoongi’s raw anger, Jungkook’s guilt-stricken face, and the absence of Hoseok anywhere.

‘’Oh no, Jungkook-ah…’’ Seokjin quickly lays Jungkook on his back, holding his hand. ‘’Listen to hyung okay. We can fix this, but we must do it together okay?’’

Jungkook’s eyes are glossed over, lips quivering as he holds onto Seokjin's hand tightly.

‘’Yoongi, we need you too, if you want Hoseok back and snap out of it and help us!’’ Seokjin raises his voice, it's wavering but he tries to put on a strong front for the two broken males. He has to do this for Hoseok, for everyone.

Yoongi's face is expressionless, deprived of all warmth, his shadow pooling down from him as he parts his lips, throat dry. ‘’I’ll do anything.’’ He hoarsely said, crouching down to Seokjin and Jungkook. There's still a fit of anger that flames through him, Seokjin can tell.

‘’If Hoseok was eaten by your shadow Jungkook-ah, you're the only one that bring him back.’’

Jungkook freezes up, ‘’I- don't know how hyung-’’ He trembles, on the verge of bawling out his eyes once again confused.

Seokjin gives him a reassuring squeeze, ‘’You can do it, Kook, I know you can.’’ He turns to Yoongi, ‘’Yoongi-yah. Please, guide him. You're the only one who can help him through this.’’

There is a cloud of hot burning anger that has taken over Yoongi making him want to go on a rampage and harm everyone but the desperation in Seokjin’s voice eases him out of it.

‘’Yoongi!’’ Seokjin’s voice is wet, he's panicking. ‘’I don't know how long we have until Hoseok’s light dies out trapped in Jungkook’s shadow!’’ He says the fear of losing Hoseok for good springs Yoongi into action.

He takes Jungkook’s other hand, ‘’Kookie. Listen to me, remember how warm Hoseok is? How does he feel like a thousand rays of sunlight and makes you feel safe?’’

Jungkook nods, ‘’Then think of him. Everything you love about Hoseok. His light, his pretty heart-shaped smile, his laugh. Reach out to him. ‘’

‘’I can’t- it’s too dark…’’ Jungkook whimpers, eyes turning black, his shadow beginning to pour from his body.

Sheer panic hits them, what if Jungkook wasn’t able to?

No. There was no time to think like that.

‘’Kook. Please. I believe in you, you're the amazing Jungkook remember? You can do it, you can do anything.’’ Yoongi tells him, words sincere from his heart, emotions bleeding out of him. He truly adored the kid, no matter what. He knew he was equally at fault here, the guilt eating away at him too. ‘’Please bring him back to me, to us…’’ Yoongi pleaded with him, eyes wet as he gently caressed the younger male’s face.

The words seem to hit Jungkook somewhere where it matters, and he closes his eyes. More and more of the shadows leak down onto the floor, soon the whole training room is painted in darkness. Seokjin swallows harshly, feeling uneasy. He hopes and prays that Hoseok could hold on for just a little longer.

Jungkook then feels a faint warmth, it’s so familiar and makes his heartbeat pick up. ‘’I feel him,’’ Jungkook tells them slowly, and they help him get up to his feet. ‘’There you go, now Kook try and reach out for him and do not let go.’’ Jungkook's face twists into a serious expression, eyebrows drawn in as he bites his bottom lip. His whole body shaking, he lets out a pained scream. ‘’It burns hyungs, it hurts.’’ He sobs, face turning pale.

‘’You're almost done Kook,’’ Seokjin comforts him, ‘’Just hold on. For Hoseok.’’

Yoongi is visibly on the verge of breaking down again, but he puts on a strong front. ‘’You are strong Jungkook, you're a hero.’’ He reminded Jungkook, ‘’You can do it.’’

Then Jungkook tries again, searching in his darkness for that warmth that made him believe in the goodness of other people, that made him happy and felt loved. With a loud painful cry, Jungkook managed to pull Hoseok’s body out from the shadows. Jungkook falls over, and Seokjin holds onto him as he passes out. The shadows vanish and Hoseok's body lies on the floor. Yoongi rushes to his aid, ‘’Hoseok!’’ He breaths, feeling relieved to have Hoseok back.

But there is something terribly wrong.

Hoseok's body lies there lifeless and pale. All color drained from along with marks covering his face and neck. His once vibrant hair is now pale as is his now gray skin.

Seokjin knows that this is just the beginning of a sad tragedy.

-

Hoseok was rushed to the hospital. They moved him straight into the intensive care unit monitoring his withering health. Yoongi felt a magnitude of shockwaves hit him watching how the love of his life lay barely hanging on a thread on the hospital bed. Once Hoseok was rushed into the operating room, when the doors hit and Yoongi couldn't follow him, his heart bleed right out of his chest. Yoongi’s eyes never stopped, a storm brewing in his mind as images of Hoseok who was once so full of life and light were so dim.

It was his fault, he did this.

He sank down onto the cold hospital floor, fists clenched hard enough to draw blood. He did this. Yoongi felt crushed, stomped on by remorse that he failed Hoseok. Little puddles formed underneath him, and the tears would not stop falling. Yoongi did this, his mind-numbing guilt strict by fear. What if Hoseok could never recover after this? What if Hoseok’s light could never shine again? Would he allow himself to live if he ever did that to his love?

A quiet, broken sob is all that echoed through the white walls. Shards cutting him from the inside, guts twisting pain hitting Yoongi. Seokjin laid a gentle hand on his shoulder, his face equally grim and wet from the steady tears. He was trembling as he watched the doctors and nurses rush around them trying to help. In the distance you could hear the faint whispers, ‘’Two are critical,’’ ‘’Hurry, we don't have enough time.’’, ‘’This one looks in bad shape, he’s so young.’’

When Namjoon and Jimin arrived, Jimin already looked like he was on the verge of tearing down everything. The pure distraught on the male's face only hampered Yoongi’s blame, that he was the one who put Hoseok here. Jimin had to be held back by Namjoon, Seokjin, and a few on-lookers before he could manage to get to Yoongi, screaming at him, cursing at him. Yoongi did not say anything, he took the insults, blow after blow. It did not change anything. He had broken their promise, after all, he failed to keep Hoseok safe.

An hour or so passed before the doctor in charge came out of the intensive care unit. They were told that whatever had happened left both Jungkook and Hoseok damaged, their elements clashing until Hoseok had burnt himself out trying to stay afloat in the shadows. But luckily, they had gotten there in time, Hoseok was barely hanging on but he had been stabilized. They weren't sure Hoseok’s condition would be any better, he needed a lot of time to regain strength, let alone his light. On the other hand, Jungkook has a better chance than Hoseok of recovering. The younger male had passed out from exhaustion, his shadow burnt from Hoseok’s light but it was nothing a few days of rest wouldn't fix.

However, Hoseok was moved into a room where he could be monitored, strapped up to cuntless machines. The atmosphere was cold, they all stood there around Hoseok’s bed. Eyes glued to the male who didn't even resemble himself anymore. Like a gray cloud covering the bright sun, Hoseok lost all his light. He seemed so weak, fragile. Yoongi struggled to breathe, like concrete drying in his chest. The shadows retracted, confused by the hurt. But in the presence of Hoseok’s they surged right to him, attached to his resting body. Seeing Hoseok like this was unfair. It should've been him.

Jimin was a mess, his hysterical outbreak had calmed but he leaned down gently holding Hoseok’s hand. He stroked the other knuckles tenderly, whispering to him to wake up.

It should have been him.

Namjoon looked pain-stricken, eyes red as he shook his head helping the trembling wind warrior to his shaky feet. Jimin cried into his chest, and Namjoon could only hug him close.

He did this. Hoseok wouldn't be here if it weren't for him.

Seokjin had checked up on Jungkook but had stopped by and he too couldn't contain a broken cry. ‘’Oh, Hobah.’’ The healer walked in and soaked up the terrible sight. The sunken cheeks, the pale gray skin, dark circles around his doe eyes. Hoseok’s once mesmerizing ethereal glow is now dimmed and lost.

Yoongi did this. He was responsible, he was the one who caused this. It should've been him.

That night, Yoongi sat there beside Hoseok’s side. Watching over him, each second that passed he watched a nightmare. One he thought could never be a reality. This was his personal hell, he lost appetite, and couldn't get a blink of sleep.

He watched how Hoseok’s chest rose and sank, the faint breath being the only thing keeping his sanity in check.

Hoseok stirred in sleep, and Yoongi sprang into action, leaning over. ‘’Hoseok-ah?’’

The heavy-lidded male slowly turned blinking at Yoongi. ‘’Yoonie? Are you safe?’’ His voice was barely above a whisper, hoarse.

Yoongi shakes his head dumbfounded, a smile creeping up his quivering lips. ‘’How dare you ask me that after that? I thought I lost you, don't ask me if I’m safe when I failed you…’’

Hoseok lets out a small sound, ‘’No. It was my fault, shouldn't ‘have pushed you when I knew how you felt and teased you… and Jungkook-ah got caught in between…’’

‘’Don't say that it was me, I'm the asshole for reacting the way I did.’’ Yoongi’s voice was thick, venom on the tongue as he blamed himself for everything.

A trembling hand reached out, wiping away a few stray tears falling down Yoongi’s reddening cheeks. ‘’I'm your sun remember? Your light, I have to keep my shadow safe or else I'm all alone.’’ Then Hoseok’s hand drops, and Yoongi reacts as fast as lightning and catches it. ‘’Hoseok-ah? My love?’’ Yoongi says softly, kissing each knuckle on Hoseok’s dainty hand.

He barely keeps his eyes open, eyelashes fluttering before he closes them.

Yoongi's heart broke, bleeding an ocean through his eyes.

-

3 months passed and Hoseok's condition wasn't looking any better.
The pain was raw, each passing day it got worse. Hoseok showed no sign of betterment, it took a toll on everyone. Yoongi had gotten worse as well, barely eating and sleeping. Seokjin had to force him to eat since he refused to step out of the room. The thought of leaving Hoseok for just a second was anxiety-inducing. Yoongi had gotten snappy, anger flaring up since he was so spiteful with himself. He had been directing the hatred towards himself so much, he had been burnt up, Yoongi felt he was slipping, mind rotting as he sat there looking over Hoseok.

Meaningless words poured from his mouth, apologizing to nothingness as Hoseok was unresponsive, still drifting. He would probably scold Yoongi after hearing how bad he was talking about himself. Hoseok would probably tell him that he should treat himself kinder. His soul, once a spark of love, is now burnt to a crisp by his rage.

Seokjin had nudged his shoulder, he looked up at the male blinking slowly. ‘’What?’’ He snapped, fingernails bleeding. They were bitten raw, his hair unkempt, sticking out in each and every single direction. Clothes were the same as the last time he showered which he couldn't not for the life of him even remember.

‘’Get up, you stink.’’

He frowned, sniffing his t-shirt. He scrunched his nose at the stale odor. He should freshen up, Hoseok’s parents were visiting later. Yoongi got up and felt his bones crack. It didn't hurt, nothing hurt anymore. He leans over, gently pressing a kiss to Hoseok’s temple. He brushed the silky strands back, tracing the other's delicate features softly. ‘’I’ll be back soon, my love. ‘’ Yoongi murmured, before getting up and walking out with Seokjin. He cast one last glance at his lover over his shoulder, who still after all this time laid there on the hospital bed lifeless as the first day he was brought to the hospital.

After Seokjin drove Yoongi to his apartment which was closer to the hospital, the other jumped into the shower. He was done after a brisk 10-minutes. Yoongi got clad, already heading to the door to return beside Hoseok before Seokjin stopped him at the front door, arms crossed. His tone was serious, his expression commanding.

‘’Yoongi. Take a seat.’’

However, Yoongi didn't budge, ‘’Move. I should be with Hoseok-ah right now.’’

Seokjin sighed, ‘’It’s about Hobah. I need to speak to you, it is important.’’

Yoongi cowered uneasily, like a hurt or kicked animal, wounded and whining. ‘’Hyung. Please, I have to go to him…’’

It hurt Seokjin seeing the other like this, a mess. A shell of who he used to be. ‘’His family is there, it’s okay Yoongi-yah.’’ Seokjin tried comforting him but Yoongi wouldn't listen, getting angry with him once he saw how his pleading got him nowhere. ‘’I should be there too, I’m his family.’’

Seokjin simply grabbed the other by his arms, dragging him to his living room, ‘’Take a seat. Please.’’

Yoongi grumbled, figuring out quickly that arguing with Seokjin led him nowhere. He sighed deeply, he should listen to his hyung. Seokjin was the only thing keeping him alive all these months after all.

Seokjin beings, ‘’You know how long Hiobah has been hospitalized right?’’

‘’Three months roughly? Why?’’ Yoongi nerves were on edge.

Seokjin paces around, uneasily. ‘’He isn’t showing any signs of getting better. And I pondered on the reason why that is.’’ The healer had been trying desperately to figure out just what had happened in Jungkook’s shadow. Just to what extent had Hoseok burnt himself out.

Yoongi quietly nods along, ‘’Hobah used all his light, burning himself out essentially to not let the shadow consume him. He used all his light inside Jungkook’s shadow realm and the darkness almost took it all out of him.’’

Jungkook was a touchy subject, Yoongi having forgiven the younger months ago but his shadow still saw him as a threat. He couldn't visit Hoseok whenever he was there. He was on the verge of tears on the phone when he called Yoongi about how sorry he was. Hearing how torn up the younger was only made Yoongi feel worse about the fact that he had allowed himself to push Jungkook beyond what was expected of him only because he was jealous.

‘’But now that he’s out, he is here and your…’’

Seokjin stops, cursing under his breath. He struggled to find the right words.

Yoongi began to be irked, ‘’My what?’’ He spat, eyes narrowing as he gritted his teeth, not liking where Seokjin was headed.

‘’Fuck, your shadow….Yoongi-yah I think you're the reason why Hobah isn’t getting better.’’

A slap right to his face would've hurt less than those words. Yoongi's face fell listening to Seokjin go on, ‘’Your shadow and you both experienced a traumatic loss at the thought of Hoseok being gone, and now you're clinging onto him for dear life. But you're simultaneously hindering him to shine. What happens if the shadow is larger than the light? You're keeping him from recovering his light because your shadow is so attached to him. You cling to him like a moth to a flame, and since there's barely any light there your shadow pulls Hobah’s light. It was fine before when you two were at equilibrium but now… I’m afraid your shadow consumes any and all light that Hobah tries to regain.’’

Yoongi felt a force pressing him down with each word that poured from Seokjin’s mouth. The words being spoken made him feel hollow. He was drowning like the air was stripped from his lungs. His mouth dried, ‘’But what about Jungkook? He was the one who did this… Is he affecting his light too?’’

‘’Jungkook’s shadow is weak compared to yours. That and your bond with Hobah’s light is stronger. It’s ironic really since Hoabh was trapped in Jungkook’s shadow, his shadow has become the one thing keeping Hobah teeter. Your shadow is overwhelming while Jungkook’s is weak in comparison and has a possibility to help Hoseok.’’

Yoongi stood up, eyes hazy. He began walking to the front door.

Seokjin silently watched him walk away, he knew this was going to hurt Yoongi deeply. But it had to be done, he had to try and help Hoseok first. He trusted their bond, he knew nothing could ever change the bond the two had. They were soulmates after all.

‘’Yoongi where are you going?’’ Seokjin tried to call after the other.

‘’I'm leaving.’’

Seokjin panicked, ‘’Where?’’ But he didn't listen. ‘’Yoongi!’’ He yelled.

Yoongi walked to the nearby bus stop, got on it, and got off at the bus station. He bought a ticket to Daegu and shut his phone off. Seokjin was blowing it up, and Namjoon as well. Yoongi slipped it back into his pocket. He walked onto the coach bus with heavy steps, knowing damn well that if he said goodbye to Hoseok he would never leave, resulting in the chance of Hoseok never getting better.

A week passed by slowly for Yoongi. He showed up unannounced at his brother's place, a broken shell of his former self. He laid in the bed all through the week, barely eating. He got a text from Seokjin who told him that Hoseok had woken up. This meant that the healer’s theory had been confirmed and Yoongi broke down. His phone was thrown into the wall, breaking into bits.

He passed out from exhaustion, and his brother informed him that Seokjin had gotten in contact with him. He told them that nobody had had the courage to break the news to Hoseok that he had left. The other had woken up asking for him but Yoongi was nowhere to be found. Nobody wanted to be that person.
A few months passed equally slowly for Yoongi, he heard that Hoseok had recently been discharged from the hospital. He had been living with Namjoon and Jimin since he couldn't step foot into their old shared apartment without crying.

This tore Yoongi apart, the fact that he had hurt Hoseok twice over. He abandoned him in his time of need. When Hoseok needed him the most he had left. But this was better, right? Hoseok was getting better. Hoseok was now healing, awake, and living healthily away from him. Yoongi was his poison, the venom that struck Hoseok and held him back leaving him bedridden.

He deserved this, this was divine punishment. Yoongi told himself that everything painful that has happened to him was warranted.

At some point, the finger stopped pointing at him, and he accepted it. The little voice in the back of his head won, and he caved in. And in swept indifference, emotional exhaustion cracked down on him until Yoongi could no longer allow himself to feel anything anymore.

This was his cost of living, loving someone so bright who shined too beautiful for him.

-

6 months passed, and Hoseok had gotten better. He heard from Seokjin, who was his only source of information, that Hoseok finally smiled again. Yoongi ignored how his heart began to beat at those simple words. He bit back a smile of his own, lips twitching. He began working in his brother's restaurant, busying himself with the cooking and cleaning. Each mundane day passed as he lived on. Seokjin told him that no one could utter his name without Hoseok bawling so they tried their best to not speak about him.

It hurt.

But Hoseok was doing better, that was all that mattered. The rotten hole in his heart bleeding from the fact that Hoseok could finally feel the normalities of life again. A smile on his lover's face was the favorite thing about him, what everyone adorned. He was smiling again, finally allowing himself to live again, which made Yoongi content.
However, Hoseok’s light was weak. Still barely glowing, he was getting there with the help of Jungkook who began the recovery process along with him.

Molten venom poured into his gut when Seokjin told him that. How Hoseok and Jungkook began their training, how better Hoseok became from it. He felt sick, Yoongi felt the bile claw at his throat. He threw up in the bathroom, sweating and barely holding in the sob that threatened to wreck him again.

He poured ice cold water on himself, staring at the empty reflection. His soul, heart, and shadow are all gone. Nothing without his light, his lover, and Hoseok. Yoongi gripped the sink so hard knuckles turned white. Deprived man in the mirror mocking, ugly voice like nails on a chalkboard whispering into his ears. ‘’Hoseok is better, doing better all without you. With Jungkook, Jungkook did this to us.’’

He screams, but Yoongi has lost his voice. The demons hanging over him laugh at his pathetic state. He grows numb again.

Hoseok is better.

Hoseok is better without him.

Hoseok is better now with Jungkook.

It takes a few seconds before the mirror is shattered, blood dripping down and glass piercing his skin.

It doesn't hurt.

It cannot hurt like how he has hurt Hoseok.

But, he was doing better. Yoongi tries to tell himself, convince himself even if the words sounded so wrong and foreign.

Better without him.

-

A year goes by and Hoseok has found his glow.

Another year passes and Hoseok has been able to regain his shine but not as bright as he once did.

That made Yoongi a bit more hopeful as Hoseok’s condition seemed to have steadily gotten better.

Some more time passed before Yoongi found a wedding invitation in his mail. His heart sank, fingers trembling as he noticed that the design was exactly the one Hoseok wanted for their wedding. Even the same colors of royal purple and gold. Disturbing imagery fueled his mind, his breathing turned ragged. Eyes wetting, tears prickling as pressure hit him all at once. He felt hopeless, everything ached. White noise buzzed in his ears.

He held his breath and opened it prepared for the worst but when he read the words ‘’Kim Namjoon & Park Jimin’’, he let out a deep exhale.

He read the date and it was only a few weeks away. He felt fear build, his core shaking as he let out a shaky exhale. ‘’Fuck…’’

He had to go. For Namjoon and Jimin, he just had to.

Namjoon would call him from time to time to check up on his well-being, making sure the sadness hadn't made him go insane. However, Jimin would scream at him in the background for leaving Hoseok. It wasn't until Namjoon managed to calm him down and explain the reasons why Yoongi had to leave. But the stubborn wind warrior didn't care. Jimin rebutted by saying that it had been long enough. Hoseok's light had healed but his heart was still broken. And that aggravated the younger. But Yoongi could not risk coming back and halting Hoseok’s progression and potentially dimming his light.

He would never forgive himself if he did that.

-

The fateful day of Namjoon and Jimin’s wedding arrives faster than what Yoongi is prepared for. He knows Hoseok will be there. He knows this and dreamed of finally meeting him after three years of longing for his touch.

But he can't shake the feeling that Hoseok will loathe him. The slim chance of Hoseok moving on keeling him on edge.

Yoongi dressed in a suit, a fresh expensive one that his brother bought him.

‘’Go and get your life back, Yoongi.’’ His older brother told him and Yoongi couldn't fight the emotions surging from his chest. He hugged his brother and jumped into his car, the drive felt endless but he arrived in time.

The venue had also been one of the places Hoseok and he looked at, wanting it to be a place that was spacious for all their friends and family. And it had to be big enough for a dance floor. The banners and flowers are beautiful, everything looks like a fairytale that equally fits along with the wedding couple's aesthetic.

He bows to some familiar faces, makes his way through the crowd, and spots Hoseok. Because it's easy. Even from a distance, even while not trying Hoseok makes Yoongi’s heart race, threatening to leap out of his chest. His shadow claws at him, digging into his skin trying to refrain from coming closer and engulfing his lover.

His lover.

Hoseok was his lover, a soft blossom bloomed on Yoongi’s face. Hoseok stood out, the artificial lights from the ceiling were nothing to compare to the beauty that shone.

Hoseok’s hair had grown out, it was long and black now. It complimented his glowing skin perfectly. His healthy color had returned, he looked so lively albeit stressed. He was wearing an earpiece, pointing at the other staff and directing them. He looked very attractive, and Yoongi had to suppress his boner at the moment, it was not the right time.

Yoongi's steps felt heavy, moving through quicksand. It got hot under his collar. As Yoongi approached, Hoseok met his eyes.

With those light brown eyes, glistening and long lashes fluttering. Yoongi forgets to breathe. He always struggled with how pretty his lover was. Hoseok looks like a dream, like his dreams for years now. Just as beautiful as he remembered.

‘’Hyung-?’’ Hoseok eyebrows screwed with confusion, lips pursing.

That little ridiculous triangle pout on the pretty heart-shaped mouth, Yoongi bit back a smile. Nothing could compare. His head felt light, his chest constricting. Hoseok’s wide doe eyes glossed over as he kept blinking profusely like he couldn't believe what he was seeing.

Like he saw a ghost.

Yoongi’s voice was sweet like honey, ‘’Hi Seok-seok-ah.’’

An awkward pause made Yoongi feel like he had done something terribly wrong.

Flabbergasted Hoseok kept standing there confused. ‘’I-’’ His voice became wet, nervously fidgeting with the clipboard in his hands as he stood there.

‘’You look beautiful, Hoseok.’’ Yoongi tried once more, smiling widely with his vibrant pink gummy smile. Hoseok blushed, cheeks adoring in a pretty crimson hue. ‘’Thanks,’’ he mutters, stunned.

‘’I-’’ Hoseok opened but then closed his mouth. There was an unreliable expression on his face, it made butterflies explode within him. Yoongi eyed the pretty little mole resting upon the upper lip. Oh, how bad he longed to kiss it.

‘’Lavender roses, your favorite flowers. ‘’ Yoongi began.

Hoseok looked like a deer caught in a headlight. In a small voice he whispered, ‘’You remembered?’’ His eyes glistened.

‘’Yeah, they symbolized love at first sight. Budding romance.’’ Yoongi told him watching how Hoseok struggled with containing his smile. Yoongi’s heart began bleeding, his shadow itching closer to Hoseok by the second. ‘’How could I ever forget the way your eyes lit up, you wanted them for us too-’’ Yoongi choked, voice becoming a bit strained.

‘’Hyung-’’ Hoseok stiffed, eyes watering up. Yoongi's fingertips itched to wipe them away, threading his fingers through the soft hair. Hold him in his arms, kiss him and do anything but it's too late. ‘’I have to go…’’

And with that Hoseok ran off. Yet another time.

Crestfallen Yoongi sighed, cursing at himself for being so stupid.

-

Hoseok sobs in Jimins arms, the groom had found Hoseok a mess while he got ready. Jimin immediately hugged him as Hoseok sank down to the floor.

‘’Minnie he is here and he's so perfect…’’ Hoseok wailed, fingers clutching onto Jimin. He nods like he understands the incoherent mumble. ‘’I know hyungie.’’Jimin rubbed soothing circles on Hoseok’s back, rocking them back and forth.

Hoseok sniffled, nose reddening. ‘’I’m sorry for ruining your big day…’’ He weeps. It makes Jimin’s bottom lip wobble, ‘’No stop. Don’t say that. Both I and Joon wanted this to happen, for you two to meet is the best wedding gift.’’ He gently caressed the other's cheeks, ‘’He’s so pretty Minnie, he looks so soft.’’ Hoseok sobs, rambling on about Yoongi. ‘’I love him so much, but it hurts Jimin-ah.’’ He softly says, voice broken.

Jimin hums, hugging him tightly. ‘’I know, hyungie.’’
-

Yoongi finds the bar with ease and finds his favorite whiskey. He chugged down a glass or two and Yoongi's mind was too cloudy to remember. A tap on his shoulder makes him turn around and his eyes almost bulge out of his head.

‘’Jungkook-ah?’’

The once sweet looking younger is all grown up now. No baby fat in his face, muscles bulging from his chest and arms underneath the shirt. He had grown taller than him almost towering over him. Yoongi hates how he has to angle his chin up to meet the other’s eyes. But Yoongi cannot help but be proud of what he sees. Jungkook's body is twice the size now. This was a good thing since you needed both physical and mental strength to conquer your shadow. The tattoos are a nice touch and the piercing too, Jungkook seemed like he had really grown into his skin.

‘’Hyung.’’

Fuck, even his voice was deeper.

Jungkook still had that youth to him, those big Bambi eyes made Yoongi soft.

‘’Hey, there kiddo.’’

They hugged, it felt nice. The height was something Yoongi had to get adjusted too though.

‘’I missed you…’’ Jungkook told him, smiling at him but his eyes seemed so sad. ‘’Can we talk?’’

Yoongi nods and they make their way to the balcony. Jungkook has a hurt puppy dog look to him that makes Yoongi’s heart hurt. ‘’I’m sorry. I ruined something great.’’ The younger one begins and Yoongi reaches out to hold his hand that's bawled into a fist. ‘’It is not your fault, ‘’ he begins. Jungkook’s eyes threaten to spill over, and Yoongi cannot handle any more tears.

‘’Hobi-hyung said he forgave me but I can’t help but feel bad for what I did.’’ Jungkook lets out a labored breath. ‘’Hyung, he's a mess. He is busy with himself at work, he can’t go to the apartment without crying. It’s been years and Hobi-hyung still can’t hear your name before falling apart.’’ He tells him, voice wavering.

Jungkook has remorse painted all over his face. ‘’I know it hasn't been easy for you, I could never have the strength to leave as you did. I would be selfish,’’ Jungkook admits.

‘’Any time I held him in my arms, Hobi-hyung would cry with your name on his lips.’’

Yoongi's face soured, face twisting into a dark grimace. The shadow began blacking out his iris, and Jugkook’s eyes turned black as well in retaliation. ‘’Hyung. I love him.’’

They stood in silence, Yoongi's body itching to do something about it but he held back. He knew better.

‘’Hyung, I love him but I am not the one in his heart. He’s fully devoted to you. But hyung, I’m warning you. If you two don't figure your shit out, I’m not holding myself back anymore.’’

Yoongi seethes, gritting his teeth. Jungkook cannot help but grin victoriously, ‘’I see jealousy still works on you hyung. You haven't really changed much from the hyung I once knew.’’ Jungkook lets out a laugh, ‘’You look like you want to kill me.’’

Then Yoongi unclenches his jaw and rolls his head. He calms down stilling himself, and a dry chuckle escapes his mouth. ‘’Thanks, Jungkook-ah, for everything. Keeping Hoseok-ah safe and being there for him.’’ He’s smiling brightly and there's something that makes Jungkook blush.

Jungkook looks at his hyung before returning the smile. ‘’Yeah, I couldn't get enough of his warmth but hyung, I am aware he's yours.’’ He bumps his shoulder with a light fist.

‘’I know, I know…’’

Yoongi runs into every room in the venue until he stumbles into the groom’s room where Jimin has him in a gentle hold. Jimin turns around and goes into defensive mode.

‘’Jimin-ah, nice to see you. Congrats on the wedding but can you give us a second?’’

Jimin seethes, scary as a pissed-off kitten thrown into a bathtub. ‘’Hyung, it’s my wedding day!’’ He whines, but Hoseok pulls on his sleeve nodding that he was okay and the groom deliberates for a few seconds before giving in.

He sighs, ‘’But sure have five, or ten or however long you two need.’’ Jimin smiles leaving the two. He stops by the door, ‘’I’ve missed you hyung, hurry up and kiss your boyfriend or else… ‘’ Jimin threatens as he skips out singing beautifully. It was his wedding day after all.

Hoseok hid his face in his arms. Shoulders still trembling

Yoongi approaches, ‘’Seok-ah? My love.’’ Yoongi states as he kneels by the other male whose heads hang low.

‘’Seok-seok-ah…’’ Yoongi tries again this time he gently palaces his hands on Hoseok’s and pries them off his face.

Hoseok has tears running down his cheeks, ‘’Hyung-’’ He mumbles, breath hitched.

Yoongi gently cups his face, caressing his cheeks as he wipes the tears away. He strokes the apples of Hoseok’s high cheekbones. ‘’Hyung loves you so much, Hoseok-ah.’’

Hoseok whines, ‘’I missed you more than anything.’’

Yoongi nods, ‘’I left my heart that day I left, but I left it with you, in safe hands.’’ He explains as Hoseok sobs harder. ‘’Hyung- When they told me you left, I thought they were pranking me.’’

Yoongi’s heart stings, ‘’It was cruel. I know. Hyung’s so sorry.’’

‘’Don’t ever leave me like that again…’’ Hoseok sniffles, and Yoongi hums. ‘’I promise.’’

They seal it with a kiss. It is innocent at first, just a solid tender press of lips. Yoongi brushes their lips together, feeling Hoseok’s emotions pour from his mouth, and Yoongi swallows it all. All the fear, longing, and uneasiness. The light meets its shadow and they intertwine once again.

Yoongi deepens the kiss, running his wet tongue over Hoseok’s bottom lip. He traces their outline with the tip of his tongue, so careful and gentle with Hoseok who becomes pliant in his hands. He tastes salty from the tears, and Yoongi wants to taste him even more. His fingers find themselves in Hoseok's long strands. He tugs gently, fingernail scraping the scalp which he knows Hoseok likes. He purrs, parting his lips to give Yoongi access. Yoongi massages their tongues together, rolling them over each other. Hoseok moans, it gets heated. His skin begins glowing and Yoongi’s heart is about to leap out of his chest.

Yoongi is visibly aroused. He grips Hoseok's chin tighter, sucking on Hoseok's bottom lip. The kiss turns hard, crushing as their teeth click. Yoongi grows bold, sucking on Hoseok's tongue, fingers unbuttoning Hoseok’s silky velvet shirt.

Hoseok has to push him away, ‘’We are not fucking on Jimin-ah and Joon’s big day…’’ He pants heavily, Hoseok’s face blushing. He trembles, clenching onto Yoongi’s suit.

Now it is Yoongi’s turn to whine, ‘’Oh… why not? I haven't seen you in years, Jimin-ah will understand.’’ He continues leaning in but Hoseok claps his hand over Yoongi’s mouth. ‘’I spent 5 months making sure everything was perfect today. Do not tempt me.’’

‘’You’re perfect.’’

Hoseok makes a face, rolling his eyes, ‘’Hyung- stop it…’’

‘’I won’t.’’ Kiss. ‘’You’re so pretty with your long hair.’’ Kiss. ‘’Your cute painted nails’’ Kiss. ‘’Your beautiful smile.’’ Kiss.

Yoongi rains a kissing parade and Hoseok’s face is set ablaze.

‘’Hyung please-’’ Hoseok whines but does nothing to stop Yoongi who pushes him down, lowering him onto the floor. ‘’Wanna kiss you my love, wanna do anything and everything for you.’’ Yoongi breathes in a dizzy haze kissing Hoseok’s face downwards to his neck.

Jimin knocks on the door, peeking his head into the door. ‘’I left my- Oh my.’’

Hoseok pushes Yoongi to the side and gets up, he fetches the flowers from the chair and throws them to Jimin. ‘’The flowers. Yup. Here you go.’’

‘’Can you two wait to fuck till after the ceremony?’’ Jimin scolds them and hips on both arms.

‘’Yeah…’’

‘’No-’’

‘’Hyung!’’ They both say at the same time, ‘’Fine.’’ Yoongi rolls his eyes, grumbling as he gets up.

In his hand, Yoongi holds onto the light of life. And like a moth to a flame, Yoongi came back to his love, always.
When there's a light that shines so beautifully capturing an eternal promise of warmth and love, the shadow that it will cast shall be equally as beautiful to reflect it.

-

The end.