Chapter Text
It had been an excruciatingly long day and the only thing Tegan Jovanka wanted to do was collapse in front of the telly and find something mind numbing to distract her until it was a reasonable time to fall into bed. The thought that she would simply have to get up the next morning and do it all over again was not one that she was willing to contemplate at that moment. Tegan didn’t think she had it in her to, politely, deal with other people at the moment.
In the just over six years since she had left the TARDIS and her adventures in time and space with the Doctor behind, things had followed a steady, monotonous path. With no money and no job, poor Auntie Vanessa dead and nowhere to live, Tegan had reluctantly accepted her father’s offer of a job helping to run his farm back in Brisbane. It was tedious and not at all where she had wanted to be but, until she could figure out where she actually did want to be, Tegan supposed it was better than nothing.
When her father had offered her the chance to run his animal feed company – which came with more responsibility and more money – Tegan had taken it because it seemed like the right thing to do. The extra money had meant she could finally afford to put down a deposit on a proper house and move out of the dingy little apartment she had rented just so that she had her own space, rather than continuing to live with her parents. Now that she was thirty, Tegan was determined that she would stand completely on her own two feet. So far, she had only lived in her new house for a week or so and didn’t know anyone in the neighbourhood yet. Somehow, she couldn’t find it in herself to mind too much; she doubted that any of them would be interesting enough to match up to the friends she had left behind.
Stopping off to pick up enough food to partially fill her refrigerator and tide her over until she could be bothered to do a proper shop, the woman headed for home. As she pulled onto her driveway, Tegan spotted a dark-haired child on her step. She dismissed the sight immediately; not sparing her a second thought and assuming that she was just delivering junk mail or attempting to sell cookies or something equally irritating.
It was only when she had hefted the two paper bags off the back seat of her car and was making her way up the path that she realised the little girl appeared to be waiting for her. There was no sign of fear or confusion or panic as she sat primly on the step, her feet planted flat and her hands neatly folded together on her lap. The child had a mass of dark, shiny curls that reminded Tegan strongly of the woman she thought of daily.
“Hello?”
“Hello.” The little girl smiled up at her, clearly unperturbed by her presence. There was something knowing and impossibly familiar about her expression.
“Are you… alright?” Tegan asked, looking around quickly. She didn’t have much experience in dealing with children and, quite honestly, she wasn’t a huge fan of them. “Are your parents around somewhere?”
The girl shrugged. “I shouldn't think so.”
“Should I call someone?”
“Like who?”
Tegan sighed, not really having an answer to that. “My name’s Tegan… Tegan Jovanka. What’s yours?”
“That’s my name, too.” The little girl informed her with a broad grin. “Well, it’s one of them. I’m Neeka Jovanka Traken.”
Tegan dropped her groceries at that revelation, staring at the child in complete and utter shock as fruit and bread and various other foodstuffs hit the ground around her feet. Suddenly it wasn’t just the dark curls that reminded her of the woman whose memory refused to leave her; it was the slope of her nose, the set of her jaw, the way she held her head almost defiantly as she appraised the woman in front of her closely. The way that the little girl, Neeka, seemed to possess an intellect that went far beyond her years.
Swallowing thickly, Tegan decided to take an educated stab in the dark. “Would your mother’s name be Nyssa, by any chance?”
Neeka beamed at her. “She said you’d know.”
“Is Nyssa here?” Tegan looked around almost desperately for a glimpse of her. Her heart leapt at the possibility of seeing her again.
Neeka shook her head, sadness colouring her expression. “No… she had to stay behind.”
“Behind where?”
“On Terminus.”
Tegan chewed her lip and then crouched to gather up the spilled groceries, buying herself a couple of minutes to think. Neeka immediately moved to help her, putting everything back in the bags and doing her best to hoist one into her arms. Tegan chuckled at the sight and moved several of the items from the little girl’s bag into her own so that she could manage it more easily.
“Thank you, Neeka. Perhaps we should go inside and then you can tell me what’s going on.”
Neeka beamed up at her trustingly, causing Tegan’s heart to clench worrying in her chest at the sheer resemblance between the little girl and her mother. Inhaling sharply, she unlocked the front door and stood aside so that Neeka could step inside first. Wide, innocent eyes watched Tegan as she led the way into the kitchen and placed the bag on the table.
“Do you want anything to eat or drink?” Tegan asked hesitantly. She had no idea what Neeka might be used to; what kinds of food did they even have on Terminus?
“I’m quite alright at the moment, thank you, Tegan.”
“Well… you’ve definitely got your mother’s manners…”
Neeka beamed, flushing in pleasure at the compliment. “Mother always calls me a mouth-on-legs. She says that I’m her brave, beautiful, stubborn mouth-on-legs, just like her heart amongst the stars.”
Tegan swallowed thickly, blinking back the tears that were burning her eyes. She couldn’t quite decide which of her myriad of questions to ask the little girl first. Some of them she was quite sure Neeka wouldn’t even be able to answer and some of them didn’t quite seem like they would be appropriate to ask a child of her age – whatever that was.
Finally, she settled on something that she hoped would get her at least some of the information she needed in order to start to try to unravel the current situation. “How did you get here, Neeka? Why are you here? Is Nyssa alright?”
“There was a transmission over the communication system on Terminus. Mother was afraid and said that she needed to get me away to somewhere safe.”
“What did the transmission say, Neeka?” Fear gripped Tegan at the thought that Nyssa had stayed behind to face a situation that she thought was so bad she needed to send her child away. “Think carefully… what scared your mother?”
“I don't know.” Neeka shook her head quickly, looking frightened at the sudden panic the woman was displaying. “I didn’t understand it.”
“OK…” Tegan took a deep breath, trying to return her hammering heart to a more normal rhythm. She smiled weakly, attempting to reassure Neeka. “So how did you get here? How did you find me?”
“Mother used this.”
Rummaging in the pocket of her overalls, the girl pulled out a silver disk and held it out in the woman’s direction. Honestly, Tegan had absolutely no idea what it was or what it did, but she examined the object carefully nevertheless. It reminded her of the old days when she had been rocketing around the Universe with the Doctor and only truly understanding a small proportion of what was going on around her.
Guessing it was a teleportation device, she wondered how Nyssa had known where to find her. Around the edge was a black band, which Tegan thought must have been a screen of some sort. That was, no doubt, where the coordinates were displayed. Unable to find any way of turning the device on, Tegan turned it over in her hands several times, before laying it carefully on the kitchen table.
“Did she say anything else? Did she… give you anything to give me?”
Neeka shook her head. “Not really. She promised she’d come as soon as she could. She had things to sort out, but she promised she’d come for us.”
Tegan’s heart leapt traitorously at the girl’s use of ‘us’ rather than ‘me’ but didn’t comment on it. “Alright… so I guess you’re stuck with me until then.”
“You mean I can stay?” The girl’s face broke into a brilliant smile.
“Of course you can stay.” Tegan only just refrained from rolling her eyes, reminding herself that she was dealing with a small child. Which reminded her, “How old are you, Neeka?”
“I’m six.”
“Six.” Nodding slowly, she inhaled through her nose and tried to remember back to being six. Tegan was sure that all she had wanted to do at six was run around the farm and be with the animals or ride in her father’s plane. She swallowed thickly; forcing herself to ask a question that she wasn’t entirely sure she wanted to know the answer to. “And… you haven’t mentioned your father? Is he still on Terminus with your mother?”
“I don’t have a father.” Neeka informed her easily, her eyes moving around the small kitchen as she clearly relaxed now that she knew she was staying with Tegan. “Mother said I was a gift from the stars.”
“Right…”
“Mother showed me the pictures you drew for her. That’s how I knew what you looked like. And she talked about you all the time, Tegan.” Neeka said earnestly. “She told me about you and the Doctor and Adric and Turlough. She told me about Terileptils and Cybermen and Daleks and Slitheen and the Mara. I know all about your adventures. When I grow up, I want to have adventures, too!”
Tegan privately wondered whether they had been the best bedtime stories to tell such a small child but didn’t comment. Instead, she smiled softly, her mind inundated with memories associated with the words that Neeka had spoken. Finding that she was unable to speak without crying at that moment, she turned and busied herself putting things away.
“Well, if you’re anywhere near as determined as Nyssa I wouldn’t be the slightest bit surprised if you did just that.”
A silence fell as Tegan continued to tidy the kitchen. It wasn’t as uncomfortable as she had thought it would be and, every so often, she glanced towards the table where Neeka was sitting, apparently content to just sit and watch her progress around the room. Every time their eyes met, Tegan would send the six-year-old what she severely hoped was a reassuring smile, which Neeka returned easily.
“May I have a drink, please, Tegan?”
Tegan jumped and then nodded. Then she paused. “What would you like to drink?”
“I’m not sure.”
“Well, what did you like to drink on Terminus?” She asked, chewing her lip and realising that it was highly unlikely she would be able to produce anything similar – unless it was water. Neeka reeled off a list of words that confirmed Tegan’s suspicions. “I’m not really sure what any of that is, but how about some juice?”
“I’m not really sure what that is.”
Tegan laughed as Neeka wrinkled her nose, crossing to the refrigerator and pulling out a carton of orange juice. She poured a little into a glass and carried it over to the little girl, setting it on the table in front of her and watching her stare at it, almost suspiciously. The way Neeka screwed up her face while she scrutinised it closely was entirely Nyssa.
“You don’t have to drink it if you don’t like it.”
Almost as though she’d taken Tegan’s words as a personal challenge, Neeka grasped the glass and raised it to her lips, taking a tentative sip. She paused for a moment, considering the liquid, before taking another, slightly larger, sip. When she had drained the small amount in the glass, she looked expectantly up at Tegan, who chuckled lightly and refilled it for her.
“Thank you, Tegan.”
“It’s not a problem.” She hesitated again. “Are you hungry?”
“A little…”
“Right…”
Chewing the inside of her cheek, Tegan considered her – very limited – options. She had never been particularly fond of, or skilled at, cooking but when it had just been herself she’d been required to cater for it hadn’t been much of a problem. Now, with a six-year-old in her care, she supposed that she really should start upping her game.
She clattered around for a little while doing her best to rustle something up for the pair of them. Every now and then she thought she heard Neeka giggling, especially when she dropped something or swore under her breath, but when she turned around the little girl was regarding her with an innocent expression. Tegan rolled her eyes as she turned back to her chopping board; she was definitely Nyssa’s daughter.
“Here y’are.” She announced finally, setting two plates on the table with a flourish. “Chicken and noddle stir-fry… nothing fancy.”
As with the orange juice, Neeka stared at it for a moment, before glancing up at Tegan carefully. She didn’t say anything, but the Australian could tell she wasn’t entirely sure whether she wanted to try it or not. With a soft sigh, gathering every single scrap of patience that she possessed, Tegan smiled kindly and proceeded to point to each component of the dish in turn and explain what it was to the little girl.
Evidently deciding that Tegan wasn’t attempting to poison her, especially when she started eating her own stir-fry, Neeka took a couple of tentative bites of her dinner. She chewed thoughtfully, before smiling and tucking in with gusto. Tegan watched her, feeling a jolt in her chest as she realised that she was, inexplicably, already incredibly attached to the child who had just dropped into her life out of nowhere.
“Can we have that again?” Neeka asked hopefully once they had both finished eating and Tegan had picked up the plates and moved to the sink.
The six-year-old appeared at her side, evidently keen to help, so Tegan handed her the dishcloth and explained how to dry the plates and cutlery once she’d washed them up. Watching how carefully Neeka went about the task, Tegan was reminded of the care Nyssa used to take over her experiments on board the TARDIS.
“Of course… although there are lots of different foods you can try while you’re here.”
“I’d like that.”
“Good.” Tegan nodded slowly. “What kind of things did you eat on Terminus?”
She listened as Neeka started explaining. The device she described sounded rather like the food dispenser on the TARDIS and Tegan pulled a face. Silently she thought that even her attempts at home cooking might be better for a growing girl than the synthetic, cardboard-tasting muck that she was imaging being served on the hospital ship. When Neeka announced that her mother never really cooked, Tegan chuckled. She remembered Nyssa’s attempts in the kitchen all too well. The Trakenite might have been skilled at most things she tried her hand at but cooking and baking were certainly not her forte.
Glancing at the clock, Tegan realised that it was probably getting towards a time that might be considered a six-year-old’s bedtime and she frowned lightly. She had a spare room – little more than a box room with a tiny, single bed crammed into it – but she didn’t have the first idea about the routine that no doubt surrounded a child’s bedtime. Watching Neeka placing the final fork carefully in the drawer as she had been shown, Tegan braced herself for the next challenge.
“Are you getting tired?” She asked, almost warily. “You’ve had a difficult day and…”
“I…” Neeka paused, her eyes widening slightly as she realised that bedtime would involve going to sleep in an unfamiliar bed on a new planet in the home of a woman she’d only just met – without her mother for, presumably, the first time in her entire life. “Umm…”
Tegan sighed softly and led her into the living room. She settled them both on the sofa and tentatively wrapped an arm around Neeka, letting her lean heavily into her side. For a moment she sat and contemplated what she should say to try and comfort the little girl, unsure how to proceed without making things worse.
“I know I’m not your mother and I would never try to be.” She started hesitantly. “But until she comes to get you – and I know she will because I know Nyssa – then I’m going to look after you as if I was. I might not always get it right and sometimes I might do or say the wrong things–”
“Mouth on legs.”
Tegan chuckled and nodded. “Yeah, exactly. But I really will do my best, Neeka. I promise.”
“I do miss Mother and I really do wish she was here,” Neeka admitted slowly, turning her head and looking up at Tegan with an expression of complete and utter trust, “but Mother has told me so much about you that I feel I already knew you before I came here.”
“I’m surprised you’d want to stay, then.” Tegan joked self-depreciatingly.
“Why?” The girl fixed her with a confused look, her eyebrows furrowing. “Mother thinks you’re wonderful.”
A warm glow filled the young woman and she smiled broadly. “Not as wonderful as I think she is.”
“Perhaps when she comes for us she could stay here? Or perhaps you could come with us?” Neeka suggested hopefully, tilting her head to one side and considering Tegan carefully. “I would like that.”
“Maybe…”
“I think I am ready for sleep now, Tegan.”
“Right…” Tegan nodded quickly. “OK… I think we might need to go to the shops and get you some clothes tomorrow… but I can give you an old t-shirt of mine as a nightie tonight… it’ll be far too big, but that doesn’t matter, does it?”
“No, I don’t suppose it does.” Neeka agreed amiably, following her through the hallway and towards the spare room.
Pushing open the door, Tegan motioned around the space inside, almost embarrassed. “It’s not much, but it’s yours for as long as you’re here.”
“Oh, Tegan, it’s lovely.” The girl’s eyes shone and she looked up at the woman happily. “It’s really just mine?”
“Uhh? Yes?”
“On Terminus, Mother and I slept in small cots in the corner of her office.” Neeka explained, moving into the room and touching the bedspread almost reverently. “We used the blankets that were too old or threadbare for the patients. We definitely didn’t have soft floors!”
“It’s called a rug.” Tegan told her, her heart breaking as she imagined Neeka and Nyssa living like that. She had known that things would be tough for Nyssa when they’d left her on Terminus, but she had tried not to think about the realities of it too much in case it broke her heart completely. “The curtains aren’t much good, but they’ll keep out the worst of the light coming through the window in the morning.”
The girl frowned, apparently a little perturbed by her words. “What’s a window?”
“What?” Blinking rapidly, Tegan stared at her before remembering that Neeka had grown up on a space station. From what she remembered, Terminus didn’t even have any viewing stations to look out into Space. Why would Neeka know what a window was? “Uhh… it’s an opening in the wall with glass in it that lets light in. When it’s light outside you can see the river and the boats from here.”
“It sounds lovely.” Neeka’s eyes lit up. “I’ve never seen a river before.”
“I’ll take you there one day.” Tegan promised instantly. “We can go to the park, too, and the beach. Maybe my Dad’s farm…”
Neeka beamed at her, crossing the room and throwing her arms around the woman, hugging her tightly. She rested her chin against Tegan’s stomach and looked up at her earnestly. “Thank you, Tegan. I’m so glad I came here.”
“You’re welcome, Neeka.” She replied softly, returning the embrace wholeheartedly. She ran her fingers gently through the dark curls. “Now… why don’t I go and find that nightie for you, hmm?”