Work Text:
June 2022
[SOMEWHERE IN NYC]
“C’mon you, wakey wakey.”
“Let me see those beautiful brown eyes of yours.”
“You’ve been very sweet, you know that?”
A bright lightbulb blinded her, and the room span as she attempted to open her heavy eyes. Her heart rate picked up immediately when she heard that voice. That godawful smug voice she’d expected never to hear again. Was she hallucinating? Did she die, and was God just playing a sick joke on her? Her hands scraped the ground beneath her, which turned out to be surprisingly clean but oh so cold. This couldn’t be happening. Not now, not again. Not when she finally got her shit together and started seeing Elliot regularly. Not when Noah had finally met Elliot and dared to ask for stories about him.
A nightmare. That’s what this was. One, big, scary nightmare.
Despite her brain’s attempts to convince her this wasn’t real, she put her cuffed hands beneath her body and pushed herself up as hard as she could – only to fall back down again. She tried it again, and again and an angry sob escaped her.
What the hell was going on here?
~oOo~
[SQUAD ROOM, SPECIAL VICTIMS UNIT]
“Fin, goddamnit what case are you working on?” Elliot roared as he entered the squad room of the Special Victim’s Unit.
“Hey, Stabler, calm yo ass. Why d’you wanna know?”
Elliot felt his hands shake as he tried not to explode and gritted his teeth. “Liv’s gone.”
This morning he’d felt like he’d walked in what seemed like a horror movie. One about criminals who like blood a little too much, and play mind games on the loved ones. Blood . It’s all he could see, all he could think about and it made him want to throw up in the nearest trashcan. All he’d wanted to do was buy her some breakfast, before some stranger pushed a blank envelope into his hand and walked away without even sparing a glance at him.
“Gone? What do mean gone? What happened?”
Fin was on his feet within a second, his face looking bewildered as his eyes bore holes into Elliot’s.
“I dunno man, I— We— Shit , Fin, it’s bad. Real bad.”
His mind was spinning out of control, one possible scenario even worse than the next. He and Olivia were just getting somewhere in their relationship. He’d come over for spaghetti night and gotten to know her son just last month. He’d taken her on an official date a few days later, and the rest was history. Nearly every day, the two of them made some time to spend with each other. Whether it was just sharing a sandwich over lunch, or making love late at night after which she insisted she couldn’t stay because of Noah. They made time, and made sure to appreciate every single minute they had. But the past eight hours he hadn’t heard a single peep from her. His calls went unanswered, the texts unread. Something was up, he could feel hit in his soul.
“So? What the hell happened?” Amanda cut in his thoughts, and Elliot swallowed.
“I haven’t been able to get ahold of her in eight hours, so this morning I wanted to drop by with some breakfast but… I— It was— Listen, we need to find her. This stranger, those photos… The blood, I—“
“Stabler…”
“...so much blood. I hadn’t noticed anything, Fin. How couldn’t I have noticed anything? She never leaves her phone for eight hours without a solid explanation. She—”
“Stabler!”
Elliot stopped rambling, finally noticing all it was doing was wasting time and he closed his eyes, only to find Fin look at him like he’s some alien from Mars and Rollins’s face whiter than a sheet when he reopened them.
“What?”
“Stranger? Photos? What are you talking about?” Amanda pushed, while pushing him down on her chair to try and get him to get his thoughts under control.
Elliot reached in his inside pocket and pulled out the envelope he’d gotten pushed in his hands earlier today. He opened it carefully and pulled out the picture that made his stomach roll.
“Oh my god,” Amanda gasped and averted her eyes nearly immediately. Fin shook his head, looking like he wanted to vomit but grabbed the picture from Elliot’s hands anyway, trying to find any clues.
“Shit, Stabler,” Fin whispered. “How did you get this?”
Elliot took a shuddering breath. “A stranger pushed it into my hands when I went to get breakfast this morning. Didn’t see his face, but there are probably security cameras we could check out to find this guy.”
His eyes fell on the picture for a moment before he stood up and started pacing. In the picture was Olivia. A terrified Olivia. Bound and gagged on a wooden kitchen chair in the middle of a room, surrounded by four dead bodies with their throats slashed. Her makeup was dark and intense, and her tight black clothes made her look like she was one of those assassins you see in movies. Behind her was a black figure in a cloak holding a butcher's knife against her throat.
Elliot watched as Fin’s eyes locked with Amanda’s, and widened in realization.
“No,” Amanda rasped. “You don’t think she was stupid enough to—” but her sentence went unfinished when Fin nodded.
“This case was getting to her, you saw that. The only way to catch these guys was to go undercover, which the chief would never approve of. Sending a guy in to infiltrate would take years and sending in a woman would be effective but way too dangerous… It would be a suicide mission.”
“Fuck, Liv.” Elliot slammed his fist on Amanda’s desk, his heartbeat increasing dangerously. “She has a kid for heaven’s sake, what the hell was she thinking?”
Fin put the picture down, his face grim and full of concern. “Elliot, call your squad. This might be bigger than we think it is and we’re going to need all hands on deck for this.”
“Copy that, Sarge.”
~oOo~
[SOMEWHERE IN NYC]
She looked around frantically, trying to find out if she recognized something from this room. Or rather, someone – but without any luck. No, nothing had been going right from the minute she pulled through with this ridiculous idea. What was she even thinking? Going rogue, with a plan she came up with a rough three hours before arriving at this place in character. Putting not only her career on the line but also Jet Slootmaekers – who happened to have two spare earrings with cameras and audio in them. She hadn’t told her what they were for, though, and told her not to look at the recordings unless something life-threatening were to happen. Idiot , she thought and pulled on her restraints once more. Fuck this, and fuck Elena who wasn’t the poor victim she pretended to be.
She was supposed to meet with the man who’d been cyberstalking Elena, sending her indecent messages and threatening to ruin her life and career by spreading Elena’s nudes if she didn’t show up at a motel near the George Washington Bridge. Olivia looked similar enough to make it believable to pretend to be Elena for a short while. The man had told Elena what to wear, how to look like when they met up so he’d recognize her. Olivia spoke Italian, just like Elena did. It was all so easy, too easy. But what she hadn’t predicted, was that the man she met up with didn’t have any sexual intentions. At all. The man was waiting there to abduct her, and speak business in the car. Business she hadn’t been expecting and left her hands sweating and vision spinning.
“Well, well. Captain Olivia Benson, as I live and breathe,” the smug voice said slowly, punctuating every syllable of her name.
Olivia stilled, her head moving towards the voice rapidly.
“You?!” she said disbelieving and scoffed. “I thought you were dead.”
Richard Wheatley chuckled, moving in front of her and grabbing her chin to make her look up at him. “Dear Captain, you should know by now I have nine lives.”
Olivia rolled her eyes. “So what? You’re the boss of this organization?”
Wheatley let go of her face with a hard push, and grinned down at her. “Curious, aren’t we? Why don’t I ask the question’s here, hm?” he asked, before Olivia spit in his face and muttered a low, “fuck you.”
Not a smart move, because his hand collided with her right cheek and left a metal taste behind in her mouth.
“C’mon, Olivia. Hasn’t your mother taught you anything about respect?”
She closed her eyes and counted to ten, apologizing with a bitter expression on her face. She needed to get out of this hellhole somehow. She needed to find a way to get out, because knowing Wheatley, her cameras weren’t going to be working down here. The outside world wasn’t going to help her. She was on her own like she has always been.
Disrespecting the criminal she needed to try to outrun wasn’t going to get her very far.
“You really thought my people wouldn’t recognize you, didn’t you? You’ve been in the news a lot lately, and they aren’t stupid. Not to mention you failed the first and only test they put you through, foolish woman .”
~oOo~
[SQUAD ROOM, SPECIAL VICTIMS UNIT]
“So you’re telling me you’ve known she was up to something this entire time and didn’t even think to mention it to any of us?!” Elliot yelled at Jet, who looked like she’d much rather retreat and hide in a corner than be present in this squad room at the moment.
“She ordered me not to tell anyone. Especially not you… She’s a Captain,” Jet replied, and honestly, he shouldn’t be surprised. Everyone respects the hell out of Captain Olivia Benson, and when she orders someone to do something… Nine out of ten times they listen .
Elliot sighed angrily and tapped on the ‘play’ button when the program that’s connected to Olivia’s earrings started up. To his frustration, all they could hear and see was static and static noise.
“That’s… weird. These earrings are the newest version, I got them just last month. The connection survives even if you’d be walking in a mine,” Jet told them, clicking on various things to try and find a way to connect with them.
“So what you’re saying is Liv is in trouble?” Amanda asked, running her hand through her hair.
“Possibly. It’s possible to play it back, so maybe we’ll see what happened. We might also be able to find out where she’s at. The earrings have GPS and if we’re lucky she’s still at the same location where her earrings died.”
Elliot watched as Jet clicked on something and got the video to start from the moment Olivia turned on the camera’s in the earrings.
They weren’t even five minutes in before they jumped to their feet, and Elliot tried his best to swallow down the bile that rose up in his throat.
What have you gotten yourself into, Olivia?
~oOo~
[SOMEWHERE IN NYC]
A kick against her bad ankle, a cigarette burn to her neck.
“ A fresh one to add to your collection ,” he’d said, “ just a reminder that good girls don’t lie .’’
She couldn’t believe this is where she ended up yet again. It almost seemed like fate. Like this was what she was put on earth for – to be a doll for sadists and serial killers to play with. To punish her for being created, for ruining her mother’s life all those years ago.
Two weeks ago she thought a happy ending might finally be in the cards for her, with a healthy son and Elliot coming back into her life. Very fucking funny, Olivia. Absolutely hilarious. It almost felt like she had a large tattoo on her forehead saying ‘ PLEASE KIDNAP ME ’. It was ridiculous.
“For the millionth time, nobody knows I’m here. Nobody even knows who Elena really is. Just let me go and we’ll pretend this never happened,” Olivia tried, hissing at the sharp pains in her body.
What part was worse ? she thought. The moment I had to improvise a murder scene within six minutes? Or the part when I had to write Elliot a quick note because I thought I was going to die and left it behind at said murder scene? Or maybe it was the moment they figured out who I really was because the real Elena decided to show her face and killed four men in front of my eyes after binding me to a chair. A clocked figure injecting a sedative while I’d been bound to that chair had been real nice too. Awesome move. Then waking up to the wonderful person that is Richard Wheatley and being tortured yet again is just the cherry on the goddamn top.
Awesome decision, going rogue when you have a kid waiting for you to come home.
“You do understand you’re not getting out of this alive, right? You know too much now. I’m just having a little bit of fun before the time comes.”
Olivia lowered her head, her eyes wide and panicky. She knew he wouldn’t fall for her bullshit. Wheatley’s way too smart for that. But there’s no way out. She’s trapped in a damn basement, with her wrists tied against a pole in the middle of the room. There was nothing down here. Nothing but a small lightbulb and a door she wouldn’t be able to reach even if she’d somehow managed to free her wrists. There was no window, no way to know whether it was night or day.
“Why are you doing this?”
Wheatley grinned. “Can’t let a knock-out like you go to waste, can we?”
~oOo~
[SQUAD ROOM, SPECIAL VICTIMS UNIT]
“Alright Elliot, you ride with me. Amanda, you have spare keys to Olivia’s apartment right?” Fin asked, and Amanda nodded. “Good. Velasco will meet you there. Get Olivia’s phone, and look if she has any notes on this case that might help us. Jet and Ayanna—”
“I’m going to call the rest of my squad. We’ll stay here to catch up on the case and connect some dots. We dealt with some of these men before, so if who we saw on the video really are the people involved in the trafficking ring you were investigating… This is a whole lot bigger than just that.’’ Ayanna interrupted and turned her back to him, sorting through files immediately.
Fin nodded, and Elliot followed him to the squad car.
The drive was quiet for the most part, both of them lost in their own thoughts. Wondering just what the hell could’ve happened when the video cut off. They did find out Elena, the victim, wasn’t the victim she pretended to be. Elena appeared to be a serial killer. One they’ve been trying to find for years. Men and women with slashed throats, but the kids spared. Nobody ever left a trace, and the killer was never found. Not until now, when it was too late. She’d been working on her own for a long time until she crossed paths with the wrong person. People involved in the trafficking ring started to stalk her, threaten her to try and force her to work for them. To get rid of their dirty messes without a trace. So, Elena had turned to the police. She’d created some sad sob story and was convinced she’d be able to get the people hunting her down locked up without anyone ever finding out what was really going on. Who she really was.
They’d watched in horror as Olivia was captured by those evil men, and thrown in the back of a van. It took about twenty minutes before she’d been taken out of the van and pushed into another vehicle. This time, a man with a mask had been sitting in front of her. He had long, greasy hair and looked like he hadn’t eaten in weeks.
They held a picture of an older man in front of her eyes.
“Do what you do best,” the skinny man had said, “prove to us you can do this.”
Olivia had been handed a gun and sent inside. Of course, Olivia being Olivia, she found a way to successfully stage a murder scene with ketchup, red fruits, and vegetables.
They seemed to believe it at first. That was until she was taken to a large abandoned building and a low voice had come from behind her. The very voice that Elliot himself didn’t know, but Fin and Amanda appeared to know all too well.
For it had sent them running to their phones to make a phone call to Rikers.
~oOo~
[SOMEWHERE IN NYC]
Her eyes were closed, and her body was aching all over from the violence Wheatley inflicted on her. She didn’t remember him being the one to get his hands dirty, but then again, a lot of things about him have changed since his ex-wife had tried to put a dramatic ending to a dramatic relationship by driving off a cliff, like Thelma and Louise. It seems like he doesn’t trust people anymore, not even to do his dirty work.
It was cold down here, and the lightbulb was close to giving out but at least Wheatley had left for a while. It left her being able to think about how to get out of here. Because not only were her past traumas extremely triggered, she also needed to fucking pee . Her claustrophobia had decided to say hello and she was sweating like a goddamn horse. Fuck this job and its dangers.
A loud sound was audible from outside the room, and she bit her lip. Half-baked plan or not, it was now or never. You got this, Olivia. You’ve gotten yourself out of situations worse than this.
She took a deep breath, preparing herself for a sharp pain.
Don’t think, just do.
She put one hand over the other and pushed as hard as she could, knowing she’d break her thumb and be able to get out of the cuffs this way. An intense pain traveled through her body and shit , all she wanted to do was cry but there was no time because the sounds were getting closer each second. So, she reached inside her bra to retrieve her pocketknife from it and blocked out the pain, adrenaline running through her veins.
“C’mon…” she mumbled frustrated when the lock wouldn’t open. “C’mon, c’mon, c’mon—”
The door flew open the same time as the lock on her cuffs did, and she froze to her spot when Rob Miller walked through the doorway like he owned the whole damn place.
~oOo~
[HOUSE OF VICTOR BRAUNN, NYC]
“So you’re saying the woman forced you to lay still and hold your breath?” Elliot asked the older man in front of him, just to make sure he wrote it down right.
The man, Victor, nodded. “Yeah. I haven’t slept a wink last night, and the police never showed up because they didn’t believe me. The woman had said there are people who want me dead… Who’d want that? I have barely even been outside the house since the pandemic started. She’d said they’d kill both of us if they’d notice I’m still alive. She’s police, right? Why didn’t she just arrest them?”
Elliot sighed and put a hand on top of Victor’s which was still trembling.
“She was undercover, and they’d put her to the test. Did she say anything at all? About where she might’ve gone to, information she’d want you to pass on to us?”
It was a nightmare. All of it, but they had to start at the beginning. Nobody recognized the building she’d been taken in to, and they weren’t able to retrieve any information from the drive either. It was mostly black and grainy, and Elliot never felt so helpless. It seemed Rob Miller had been released from prison and nobody had been notified. That was bad news, Elliot had learned, which made him feel even more on edge than before. Some psychopath who’d been obsessed with Liv in the past, has her right now. That couldn’t end well, not when Liv was there all on her own, against what looked like twenty to thirty men.
Suddenly Victor’s face lit up, and he pointed to the kitchen. “She left something in there,” he said, and Elliot was on his feet immediately, Fin following close behind. They searched through everything, and it nearly seemed like nothing was there until he felt paper underneath the sink. He pulled on it, and an envelope with his name on appeared.
Elliot looked up at Fin, who shrugged and sat down on a kitchen chair the same time he did.
“Open it.”
~oOo~
[SOMEWHERE IN NYC]
“Olivia Benson, good to see you again.”
Her mouth opened and closed, too in shock to even find words. Wasn’t he in prison ? God, this is messed up.
“We met earlier, but I doubt you remember that as you were hit on the head one minute later. We didn’t get to talk, how’s your son?” Miller continued, a smug grin on his face.
Anger ran through her. My son is safe, I hope … If Wheatley hadn’t put a hit out on him… she thought but refused to give him the satisfaction of her fear. Instead, she counted the people behind him. Three people. They were holding guns, pointed at her but Rob Miller appeared to be comfortable enough not to hold a weapon.
Big mistake, buddy.
“I guess I’ll see for myself when I get out of here,” she smirked as she held up both hands, free from the cuffs.
It’s now or never.
Miller’s face changed, and he stalked towards her but she was faster – grabbing him with a knife against his throat as she retrieved his gun from the seam of his pants.
“One word, lights out,” she whispered in his ear and pushed the knife just far enough to his throat to draw blood. He stayed exceptionally still, glaring at the three man in front of them.
They wouldn’t shoot her. Not as long as she used Miller as a shield, and their boss was in the line of fire. Silence fell over them, as Olivia slowly moved the gun to Miller’s shoulder.
It all changed in one second when Miller suddenly overpowered her and shots were fired.
~oOo~
[HOUSE OF VICTOR BRAUNN, NYC]
Dear Elliot,
I’m sorry for what I walked into, and for what might happen because of my actions. I knew the dangers beforehand, just not how deep I’d get pulled into it all of the sudden. I don’t know what will happen, but in case the worst becomes true – I want to ask you something.
Take care of Noah for me? Tell him I’m sorry, that I tried to make the world a safer place for him but sometimes the evil overpowers the good. Tell him I love him, and that I’ll always be with him. In his heart.
I’m a Captain, I should’ve at least told someone before going rogue. I guess I didn’t because a part of me knew they’d stop me from going UC. I’d get pulled out before even having a chance to achieve something.
There are letters in the vault in my bedroom. Letters to my squad, important papers about the legal stuff in case something happens to me.
Let’s hope you won’t need this information because I’m going to fight and try my damn best to come home.
Do you remember the industrial buildings near that Spanish Restaurant you used to like? The one you took me to on my birthday once. I saw a picture of it in the car, so you might want to check it out.
Olivia
P.S
Those three words.
~oOo~
[SOMEWHERE IN NYC]
She for sure thought she was going to die down here. If not by the hands of Richard Wheatley, then by Rob Miller and his men.
But she got away; right after Miller had overpowered her, she’d managed to free one arm from his grasp and slash his throat the way the real Elena did to four men when she was bound to a chair in a room.
Don’t think, just do.
His men had still been shooting at her, but after she’d taken down two of the three men the last one had dropped his gun and held his hands above his head. Blood of others was smeared all over her, and it made her want to crawl out of her skin. Her body was trembling worse than ever, but she couldn’t tell if it was either the fear or adrenaline that caused it. Probably both , she thought and shook her head.
She had one mission, and that was to get the fuck away from this place with the help of the third shooter, who’d been willing to do about anything if it meant staying alive.
“There’s a doorway in here, which will lead you to some large fields with tall grass. Run all the way through them, and you’ll end up on a big road.”
Olivia nodded. “Thank you.”
But a shot fired and the man in front of her fell down, a bullet in the back of his skull.
“Traitor!” they yelled and Olivia started running. Her ankle was aching, everything was aching , but she couldn’t stop. Not when she was so close to getting out of here. The grass rustled behind her and shots flew around.
It’s like a damn horror movie.
~oOo~
[SQUAD CAR]
“Velasco called and told us they didn’t find any clues at Liv’s apartment. Noah is with Lucy, his sitter, but they decided to bring them to the station for safety. They’ll be on their way to the buildings as soon as they drop them off,” Fin told him as he entered the car.
“Alright,” Elliot said and Fin started the car and drove away with the lights on. “Ayanna told me Jet broke into their security cameras. She saw Liv run out of a door into some field with tall grass, so if everything goes well we might get there in time for her to jump in and drive off.”
Fin simply hummed, and Elliot was lost in thoughts.
It wasn’t like Olivia to do something like this. To do something so reckless without thinking twice. Back in the years she would’ve done it, but not as a decorated Captain. Not after all the situations he’d learned she’d been in. Ones that had nearly taken her life.
“Liv… She feels horrible when she fails a victim, blames herself for it,” Fin confessed as though he could hear what he was thinking.
Elliot nodded and rolled his eyes. “Yeah, well – Doesn’t mean she’s Wonder Woman.”
“But she does feel like she is. Or is supposed to be, anyway. She wants to save everyone,” Fin replied.
Elliot rubbed his temples. “She’s done way more Wonder Woman shit than anybody should ever have to. Has she even taken a vacation during the time I was away?”
Fin winced at that. “Twice.”
Elliot just shook his head.
His heart ached for her, and all he wanted was to just wrap her in his arms and love her unconditionally.
~oOo~
[SIX DAYS AGO, ELLIOT’S APARTMENT]
“ Safe ,” Olivia whispered, nearly inaudible but Elliot caught it. It made his heart do a little jump.
“Sorry, what was that?” he asked playfully, pulling her back tighter against him as she snuggled his arm.
“Your arms. I feel safe when they’re around me.”
Her head disappeared further into the mattress when he lifted himself up a little to look at her face. She was smiling, hard, and failed miserably at trying to hide it.
“Shut up,” Olivia murmured as she blindly reached behind her to gently hit his head.
“I’m not saying anything,” he laughed and caught her hand, gave it a little kiss, and put it back on the mattress.
“I can hear your ego.”
“Hear my ego? You’re a strange one, Livie Love,” Elliot said before attacking her neck with kisses and tickling her left side, causing her to laugh out loud.
“Stop it!” She laughed as she trashed her legs around.
He grabbed her, then, and pushed her on her back before he rolled over her and kissed her hard.
“I love you,” he whispered, and teary eyes looked back at him.
“I— uh… Yeah. Those three words,” she replied awkwardly, after a ten second silence. It was still too overwhelming for her to say those words, too real. He could see it in her entire body language.
He raised one eyebrow. “Those three words?”
“Exactly,” she smiled proudly, “but don’t you ever call me ‘Livie Love’ again.”
~oOo~
[SOMEWHERE IN NYC]
If getting out of this place wasn’t one big miracle by itself already, outrunning those guys would truly be number one. Thank god for the intensive police training.
They were far behind, but if a car didn’t stop for her soon, she’d be toast. She does understand the drivers though… Not many people would stop for a woman covered in blood and with makeup smeared all over her face. Not exactly appealing.
Her ears perked up at the sound of sirens to her left, and she started running towards it. She nearly fell, and tears were burning in her eyes. Her body hurt so much.
The police car screeched to halt in front of her, and when she saw Elliot jump out of it to assist her to the back of the car the tears started to roll down her cheeks. Was the universe finally on her side this time? she wondered. Elliot went to sit down next to her and closed the door.
“Fin, drive!”
He pulled up as fast as he could, taking a few hits from the men shooting at them but getting away just in time.
“You okay back there, Liv? You look like hell,” Fin said while he pulled a face.
“Feels like I just escaped a damn James Bond movie looking like Carry but uh— I’ll live. Is Noah okay?”
“He’s safe, Liv. He’s at the station with Lucy. Rollins and Velasco are coming with backup to arrest the sons of bitches that did this to you,” Elliot said, smiling softly but his eyes full of concern.
“We’re going to the hospital,” Fin announced.
“Fin, I’m f—”
“I don’t want to hear it.”
Rolling her eyes, she turned her head towards the window. She knew she needed a hospital. She had burns, again, though not as bad as all those years ago. Her ankle hurt like a maniac and her ribs weren’t working all too well either. Not to mention she broke her own thumb to get out of those cuffs… Which she started to feel now as the adrenaline wore off and she hissed in pain.
Let this be a lesson to everyone who considers running into a situation half-cocked.
~oOo~
[MERCY HOSPITAL]
“Hey there.” Elliot smiled as he opened the door to her hospital room. They’d just finished patching her up, which had taken hours so he told her he’d bring her something to eat.
“Hi,” she said softly, waving with her cast and pulling an unsatisfied face. “I really did not miss these things.”
He chuckled, handing her half of the sandwich and keeping the other one for himself – just like the old times . Despite her current position, she felt her stomach do a somersault and the corners of her lips lifted up.
“Then stop playing Wonder Woman, Liv.”
She hummed and moved to the right so he could sit next to her.
“Richard Wheatley is still alive,” she told him as she lay her head on his shoulder.
“I know,” he said heavily. “He’s been arrested.”
“Good.”
“Yeah.”
It was silent for a while before Elliot spoke again.
“You can talk to me, you know that right?”
She lifted her head and looked at him questionably. “Yeah, why?”
“Just don’t want you to bottle it all up, s’all.”
“I won’t,” she promised him as she lay her head back on his shoulder, “It’s just— I don’t really feel anything right now. Maybe it’s the shock or something.”
“Would you be okay with me staying over a coupla days?” he asked, and she felt a warmth spread through her body. She couldn’t be alone right now. During the day she’s often able to pretend, but at night her walls come down. Demons intrude her mind and no, god no, she doesn’t want to be alone.
“Yeah… Yeah, I’d like that.”
He dropped a kiss on her head and softly caressed her arm. Careful not to hurt her. The warm feeling stayed, her heartbeat increased and shit , she knew what this feeling was. She’d felt it for years, standing by his side. It got even stronger when they finally decided to cross the line they’d been avoiding all those years. It’s a feeling she’d never wanted to admit to, always way more intense than words could ever describe.
She took a deep breath. Don’t think, just do .
“I love you,” she said and held her breath, almost afraid for his reaction even though he’d told her the same thing about a million times.
He just wrapped his arms tighter around her, and she never felt safer than right here in this hospital bed.
“And I love you, Olivia Benson.”