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She swears fealty, though she is not a knight. Her loyalties are still to Marinette regardless.
She is not permitted to be a knight, of course. But she swears fealty because she knows Marinette — she knows the princess. She also knows how, very often, princesses require some sort of defense. Marinette is not the type of princess who is helpless in every situation, and Kagami is not the type of knight who believes in Marinette’s helplessness.
She swears it in private — she swears when it is just herself and Marinette. It bears more importance this way. It makes the promise private; something that binds only the two of them.
It makes the promise sacred.
The official knights are not soulless, of course. They swear loyalty as well; they give their lives for the crown.
Kagami is not like them.
Her loyalty is not to the crown, for she would retain her loyalty to Marinette even were she not to be royalty. Her loyalty is to Marinette, which is perhaps more dangerous than royalty to the crown. The crown is an abstract concept; the princess is a real person.
The crown is functionally immortal as long as someone is there to assume the throne and wear the crown.
People are very much not. Immortality is an impossibility, as much as alchemists’ fruitless efforts to transform lead to gold.
An abstract concept is both easier and harder to swear loyalty to. The crown is simple — the interests of whoever is in charge. Knights sworn to the crown are required to bend with every new ascension to the crown.
Kagami has only sworn fealty to a single person. Marinette. She is only required to be loyal to Marinette’s desires, and if Marinette dies first then — then Kagami has probably failed, but also Kagami no longer has a reason to be invested in the crown. The crown is its own entity with its own interests — namely, power.
Kagami is only interested in Marinette. She is not interested in the entity the crown is beyond the people themselves. She is not interested in the system. It will not serve her; it never has.
Marinette is a single person with her own values. Kagami finds herself aligning with them more often than not.
Fealty is unbreakable.
Loyalty is always to some extent an act of love; an act of complete adoration. Kagami has heard how the knights describe their bond to the crown. They describe it as an undying sort of devotion. It is not a flame Kagami feels towards anyone besides Marinette.
Sometimes Kagami thinks all these knights want is to fight for something, and the existence of knighthood allows them to fight for their country, the crown that leads them.
She understands the undying devotion towards something, but she understands better about it being someone. A person is easy to devote yourself to, after all.
Or perhaps it’s just simpler for Kagami to devote herself to Marinette.
What is love but the ultimate devotion?
She is Marinette’s knight.
She is not Marinette’s savior.
A knight is more than just a savior or a guard; a knight is devoted in all regards, and that regard includes friendship. Kagami has always regarded Marinette as a friend.
Sometimes that friendship means sacrifice. Kagami is happy as long as Marinette is. It is the sort of give and take that should be present in any relationship.
Loving Marinette is easy, even if Kagami knows she will never be loved in return. The level of devotion Kagami bears towards Marinette is unmatched; it is consuming in a way Kagami knows is unique to her and her alone.
Love is simply another form of devotion. Why else would marriage last for a presumed eternity?
***
Kagami feels Marinette pulling away.
Not physically, but in her head. It is different from how they once were; Marinette does not tell her as much as before.
Perhaps Marinette has grown afraid of Kagami — but loyalty is not something to be afraid of. Why would Marinette be afraid of simple fealty? It is an oath that many have sworn, as long as time itself. There is nothing to fear about loyalty, devotion. Perhaps this is where their values have diverged as they have grown throughout the years; without her loyalty to Marinette, Kagami is hardly anything worth nothing. Her oath gives her purpose.
What is a knight without a lord to serve?
Kagami does not want to find out.
In winter, the pond in the gardens freezes over.
Kagami and Marinette have always been fond of an evening walk, even during winter. They walk over the pond when it freezes over.
But as they walk over the center, Kagami sees the ice cracking under Marinette. She reaches out to pull Marinette back, but the ice falls out from underneath them.
The pond is deeper than she first thought. She wrenches her eyes open and pushes Marinette towards the surface where she can. She tries to resist the downward pull, but all she can do is push Marinette up towards the surface. Marinette is on the ice now — Kagami can tell from the angle Marinette is tugging at her outermost layer.
The fabric breaks before Marinette can pull Kagami up.
All Kagami can think as she falls into the depth is about Marinette — about how, at the very least, she managed to save her liege.
Marinette spends a long time crying.
Kagami. Her friend. Her knight.
Marinette remembers the day when Kagami swore fealty to her. Marinette had laughed at the time, light and airy, but Kagami was very serious.
Deadly serious, it seems.
Marinette cries, because the alternative is screaming. Neither is very ladylike, but screaming is an unusual response if it is not immediately afterwards.
True fealty, Marinette thinks, would mean Kagami were still here. She needs Kagami. She always has.
Loyalty. Marinette didn’t know Kagami would choose Marinette’s life over her own. She had once romanticized the idea of a knight choosing to take an assassin's arrow or consume poison in her stead.
But it is not romantic at all.