Work Text:
“Excellent, excellent!”
Dr. Wily spun around his laboratory, basking in his success. Bass stood in the corner, just staring. The doctor ignored him.
“A rousing success that mission was!” Wily laughed. “Mega Dweeb was far too late to stop me, yet again! He and Light must be shaking in their worthless boots by now!” He cleared his throat, quickly containing himself. “However, they’ll surely strike before long. This is no time for my genius to get complacent. Now is the time to work on our defenses!”
He stepped to his worktable, which was littered with massive piles of metals, electronics, and other tools. He hardly knew where to start. Undaunted, he decided to just go wherever his inspiration led him.
“Bass!” He called without turning around. “Bring me the power drill! The Fighter 2 model, on the upper left shelf!”
He held out his hand expectantly. No response. He whipped his head around, ready to angrily reprimand his robot, only to see Bass standing right next to him. He slammed the drill’s handle into the doctor’s hand, without care.
“Hmph. Your manners are still lacking, but at least you’re listening…” Wily grumbled. He shook it off and turned his attention back to his work. He lowered his safety goggles over his eyes, which gleamed as he directed the drill towards his vision.
“Hey, Doc.”
“What?!” Wily yelled, whipping around and lifting his goggles to look at his worthless helper. Bass was staring at a giant covering sheet in the corner of the lab.
“Care to explain why you went to all that effort, just to nab some worthless Light junk?” Bass jabbed a thumb towards the sheet.
Wily put his drill down and walked to the corner. Beneath that sheet was the prize from his most recent heist: a Guts Man, taken from the Robot Museum.
“First of all,” the doctor corrected, “this is not ‘Light junk.’ This is just a pale imitation of the original Guts Man, placed in a museum cage. Nothing but a shell, made to look like him without any of the complex inner workings that define him.”
“Uh-huh.” Bass crossed his arms. “You know that just makes it sound even worse, right? What, did you want to get all the collectibles of your little crush Guts Man?”
Wily stared at the sheet in thought. Bass couldn’t know what memories those words were stirring up. After a moment of silence, the doctor turned to look directly at Bass.
“Tell me, Bass: do you understand the naming scheme behind the original Robot Masters?
“Uhhh, no?” Bass tilted his head in annoyance. “You never told me, and you never programmed that useless info into me either.”
“Each Robot Master was created with a key thesis behind it.” Wily looked back at the sheet, ignoring Bass’s answer. “Ice Man was built around the concept of ice; Fire Man, the idea of fire. Elec Man was crafted in the image of electricity.”
Wily sighed.
“’Elec’ Man… That Light was so stubborn about using terms no longer than four letters in length. I told him it wouldn’t be sustainable, but he was insistent on it, for some nonsense aesthetic reasons.” He punched his fists together. “Rubbish! I saw your future design concepts, Light! Show me how you plan to shorten terms like ‘Tornado’ or ‘Honey’ cleanly into a mere four letters! Show me!”
“Alright Doc, I get it,” Bass verbally rolled his eyes. “I can just go into standby and let you ramble about nothing if you want.”
“Hmph.” Wily put his hands behind his back. “Merely some pent-up personal aggressions; pay it no mind. The point is, each Robot Master had a clear thesis, or theme, if you will. This drove their designs in a cohesive direction, and also clarified what practical purpose they could be applied to.” He turned to Bass. “Now, tell me this: what comes to your mind when you hear the term ‘guts’?”
“I dunno.” Bass physically rolled his eyes. “Intestines? Stomachs? Worthless human parts?”
“Close; well, at least the last one. Somewhat.” Wily nodded and looked back at the sheet. “Guts Man’s creation was directed by the concepts of bravery, courage, and strength. He was not conceptualized in the same vein as the others; he was meant to emulate and exemplify these human traits, which would be useful in particular circumstances. You may be asking now: what do those traits have to do with construction, like the sites Guts Man was deployed to?”
“I wasn't asking myself, or anyone, that.”
“The answer is, they don’t!” Wily clenched his fists tight. “Bomb Man was designed for excavation and demolition, among other possible applications. Perhaps Guts Man can fill a niche focus in construction, but Bomb Man should have been capable enough for such work already. There was no reason for such redundancy among the initial Robot Masters, which were designed with varied utilities in mind!”
“Well, Light is an idiot, so it’s not that surprising he’d make a sloppy call. Reminds me of another doctor I know…”
“Exactly!” Wily was too focused to understand why Bass snickered at that. “But not because his design for Guts Man was flawed. No, it’s because he tampered with a design that was already flawless!”
Wily slammed a fist against a nearby table.
“Guts Man was originally my design! And he was never meant for pointless construction work. No, Guts Man had a far more practical, important purpose.”
He gazed up at the massive, covered creation.
“Guts Man… was the ideal soldier. His guts and bravery would let him tackle dangerous, difficult missions, that normal men were either too faint of heart or weak of body to take on. His dexterous and powerful hands could create cover out of practically nothing, as long as he had proper terrain or materials nearby. And he could also utilize his nearby terrain to craft an endless supply of projectiles for himself, using the earth itself to attack the enemy. And even if there was nothing available for him to use, his heavily armored body would allow him to attack safely even on the front lines. He could take far more damage than even armored humans could bear, while using his immense physical strength to excel at direct combat.”
Wily wiped a bit of moisture from his eyes.
“Yes, he was a perfect soldier. One that would have saved countless human lives, which would have otherwise died bravely, yet uselessly, while at war. Not to mention, he would have greatly reduced requirements for sustenance, letting the government save money and resources that human soldiers would have needed. He would be the first in an ideally long line of neo soldiers, and he would have exceled at it.”
He lowered his head, his face beginning to seethe.
“But then, that imbecile Light happened upon my designs. This was long before he had started actual work on his Robot Master project, when his own designs were mere ideas rattling around his mind. Meanwhile, I had already begun building parts of my soldier, as well as crafting a pitch to present in front of government officials. I tried to explain my goals to Light. It was all for the good of humanity! It would save money, resources, time, lives! And do you know how he reacted?”
He gazed up to the top of the sheet. He could see Light’s clueless smug face smiling down at him.
“’Soldiers, my dear Wily? You shouldn’t waste your talents encouraging such things. We should be trying to improve lives in peace, not boost our performance in times of war.’ Then he picked up the army helmet I had planned to use in the design, grabbed a yellow spray can, and overwrote all of my plans with a garish construction yellow.”
The apparition of Light vanished from the sheet. Wily’s anger did not.
“I was furious. I’m not proud of how I reacted, but I was young, and emotional. I told him, if his vision for my work was so much better than my own, then he could just take the design for himself. And the worst bit is, he did exactly that!” He ran his hand through what hair he had. “He was probably too dense to understand the true emotion behind my words. But, it didn’t matter. Some time later, we went our separate ways anyway. And I was forced to watch, as he perverted my vision into some redundant, watered-down construction puppet, adopted into his Robot Master line.”
Wily turned his back on the corner, staring off into the space of the lab.
“You know, when I decided to infiltrate Light’s lab that fateful day, my only real goal was to reclaim Guts Man. My designs had changed focus from robots to domination, and I wanted my soldier back. I had already begun working on means to efficiently mass-produce him, but I needed the original to speed up the process. And, I admit, I had a petty desire to reclaim what was rightfully mine. If he could steal my own creation from me, then I had the right to steal it back.”
A devious smile came to his lips.
“But then, I actually arrived at the lab. And I looked at that lineup of cold, sleeping robots. And I thought to myself… why stop at just Guts Man? That Light had taken my designs for himself. That swine took my work, my creations, my opportunities, my future! Why shouldn’t he feel exactly the pain and burning anger that he gave to me? Yes, I’ll be taking his precious robots! I’ll paint over his own intentions with my malice, as payment for everything that worthless blight on science stood for!”
Dr. Wily’s hands raised to the heavens as he laughed uncontrollably. His emotions slowly subsided, and eventually, he cleared his throat and returned to composure.
“Regardless, Guts Man was the only one I cared about mass producing. But, all of the Robot Masters could be useful, as distractions from my real goals. Even then, I had little desire to waste human lives, you know. I positioned them purposefully in sparsely populated areas, with the intent to distract and confuse rather than to outright kill. Of course, I do recognize that there were still casualties, despite my precautions. And I…”
Wily looked down at his clenched fist.
“I believe I felt bad about that. At least, at the time. As time passes, though, it grows harder to be concerned over each casualty…”
He lowered his hand and shook off those thoughts.
“It was all for naught, either way. That blasted helper robot, the one I didn’t give a second thought about, really was one of my greatest miscalculations. By the time he defeated all of the Robot Masters, included Guts Man, I was forced to recognize that my army of Guts soldiers could likely be stopped just as well. I still held out some hope as he faced my fortress guardians, but I was just denying the inevitable. I had no time to complete the copies, and even if I had, he probably would have ruined them all, just as his creator ruined the original soldier.”
Wily turned his attention back to the sheet.
“After Light took back his robots, and also took Guts Man from me yet again, I decided to return to the drawing board. If an army of soldiers would be mowed down, then perhaps a single, ultimate soldier-tank hybrid would come out on top?” He sighed. “Also a failure, of course. As much as I hated to move past such an important creation, I had to admit that Guts Man would no longer be enough as he was, so I had to shelve him.”
He slowly paced in front of the covered Guts Man statue.
“Now, I don’t know who created this even more offensive imitation, or why it was placed in such an insulting environment as a museum. Frankly, I’m half inclined to believe it was an insult targeting me directly, perhaps as some sort of bait. Which certainly worked, I’ll give them that; but, they clearly were not prepared for just how insulted I would be. And as you well know, Bass, I can be very, very aggressive, when I’m insulted. And I have plans for this shell, oh yes.”
He grinned.
“In fact, I may begin working on him first, after all! Then you shall see what passing time and growing vengeance can add to my already standout intelligence! What say you, Bass? Are you excited to see what-“
He turned to look at Bass again. The worthless robot had his eyes closed and his head tilted, indicating that he had put himself in standby mode.
“Bass! Oh, you infuriating…!” Wily’s fists and teeth clenched. However, he quickly calmed himself and crossed his arms. “Well, no matter. I’ll just record all of that and upload it into his memory. I’ll be sure to make it far more long-winded this time, and perhaps with a poignant lecture for good measure.”
Now essentially alone, Wily turned his attention right back to the covered Guts Man. He gripped the sheet, then whipped it away to uncover the imitation shell. The effective statue gleamed with the polish of a presentation piece. But beneath that display exterior, Wily’s mind could already see the ways he could salvage and improve it, renewing it to become a truly formidable and beautiful creation.
“Oh, yes… yes, I’ll be starting on you right away.” The great doctor grinned. “Be ready, Light and Rock; I’ll show you how a real Guts Man should be!”