Work Text:
"Apparently there are rumours going around that me and Shane are splitting up," Ilya told Instagram gravely. "Let me show you why."
The camera flipped around to show the door to the kitchen, and then Ilya's hand reaching out to open it. Shane was standing in front of the microwave, watching it turn.
"What are you making, Hollander?" Ilya's voice asked from off-camera.
"Tea," Shane replied absently. The camera flipped around again to show Ilya's exasperated face.
"Do you see this?" he asked. "He is boiling water in microwave. He has kettle, but he still uses microwave to make hot water."
"Are you on Instagram?" Shane demanded.
"Yes," Ilya replied. "And Instagram says is fine to divorce you for this."
"That's because Instagram hasn't seen you eat breakfast," Shen replied. His face popped into frame.
"He mixes cereals," he said told the camera. "Cocoa Puffs and Fruit Loops."
Ilya shrugged, unrepentant.
"Is delicious," he replied easily. "Shane's taste buds have all run away because of all his protein shakes. But at least he is eating ice cream again."