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Xuanyu sat down in the bed with a scream, breathing heavily as the imagens flashed through his head.
“Young master!”
Where was he?
Where... what... what was going on he...
“Young master is everything okay?”
He looked at the owner of the voice, it was a young man dressed in plain simple robes.
A servant...
His servant.
“I... yes, just a nightmare,” Xuanyu said, stepping out of the bed, legs shacky and sweat covering his back. “A... weird one”
Xuanyu tried to stand, afraid of his legs giving up but he managed to walk to the corner where the basin was so he could wash his face.
“I heard you screaming and... and come to see if everything was okay”
“It´s fine,” looking through the window he saw that it was still night, but well... he was awake... and so was Shu, they could use that time.
The room he was in looked simple, dark wood and plain sheets. He felt... he missed something.
Someone.
“Grab your sword, we´re going back home”
“This early?”
“Yes... the night is clear enough to flight,” and he started to put the robe he had left by the bed the previous night. “And I´m dying to get home”
“Understood... I´ll wait for you outside master”
Shu leaved and Xuanyu was left alone with his head again.
With... that weird nightmare but... no.
There was no need to think about it, he grabbed Yueguang and walked out of the inn.
He was going home...
Xuanyu couldn´t help but smile as Yueguang flied him into the horizon.
It was early when Xue Yang stepped out of the bed.
After all, he was always busy, but especially when Xuanyu was away for business or politic stuff. The farm wouldn´t take care of itself and the servants were useful, but their duties had more to do with the village than with their own home.
Xue Yang liked to do the thing himself better than having someone else doing them to find that it wasn´t done to his taste and had to redo everything.
So, he walked down the stairs, closing the door slowly before him and he walked to the kitchen to heat the tea and do some basic arrands.
Once the chickens were feed Xue Yang leaned against the door, wrapped in a thin blanket as he observed the silhouette get closer to the house. A smile forming in his face as he observed Xuanyu stepping down from his sword.
Xue Yang observed as his husband sheathed the sword and headed to the stone path that led to their home.
The tea cup he had been holding clattered in the ground when he started running to him.
To Xuanyu.
Sun blinded him as he run.
The sun that was rising behind Xuanyu.
He was back.
Xuanyu was back.
“Xuanyu!” and Xuanyu turned to the voice, no longer looking at Shu. But it was clear that he didn´t expected seeing Xue Yang there this early.
Xue Yang smiling and lifting his robes so he could run across the garden and reach him.
Xue Yang throwing himself into his arms, Xuanyu almost being late to hold him.
Xue Yang laughing as he hugged Xuanyu, hiding his face on his shoulder.
“I missed you...”
“I´ve been away for a week,” but he held him closer, a hand on the back of Xue Yang head. “Really missed me that much?”
He asked as he kissed Xue Yang´s hair.
Like Xuanyu hadn´t missed him as much as Xue Yang had missed him.
Xue Yang eyes shined as he kissed him again, just a soft caress before parting again and going back to his feet. Fingers placing Xuanyu´s robes in order.
“What are you doing up so early?” Xuanyu asked as Xue Yang grabbed into his arm, his free hand holding the light blanket that were around his shoulders. “Shouldn't you be resting?”
“I couldn´t sleep,” the walked the stone path together, Xue Yang´s head resting against Xuanyu´s shoulder. “I was making some tea when I heard you landing in the garden”
They walked into the house after dismissing the servant and Xue Yang squeezed his arm, careful to not step in the rests of the cup.
“You should wake the little earthquake up,” he said as he let go from his arm. “She´ll be so happy seeing that your back”
“I...”
“Fei missed you”
Fei, he had missed Fei so much too.
“Okay... we´ll be there in a moment”
“Good luck” and Xue Yang kissed him one more time before heading to the kitchen, the tea cup in his hands again.
That left Xuanyu alone in the state, his feet carrying him to Fei´s room before he could think about it. After knocking gently at the door, he opened it. The kid was deep sleep in her bed, black curls around her, falling in the pillow like spilled ink.
Their little earthquake.
“Fei...” he called gently.
Their princess.
“Xiao-Fei... my love...”
He walked to the bed.
“A-die is home...” he sat next to the kid, brushing hair away from her face and she just scrunched her little nose. “Princess...”
“Mmmmm”
And she turned her back to him.
“Someone is sleepy?”
No answer.
“Okay...” Xuanyu leaned in, kissing the kid´s forehead before standing up. “You can rest for a little longer”
There was no way to wake Fei up when she was tired and, if he managed to do it, he would end up with a kid biting his hand.
Like father like daughter, they used to say and – in Fei´s case – she looked so much like Xue Yang, no like he was complaining about it.
Xuanyu closed the door as he stepped out of her room just as Xue Yang called him from somewhere in the house and before he could stop himself his feet led him to him.
To Xue Yang and, for a second, he felt like it had been years since he touched him. Since he held Xue Yang in his arms and kissed him.
He observed him.
The long hair falling past his waist, the way his eyes smiled when his lips did. The crocked smile and the scar over his nose and the tan skin and his hands and everything.
"Do you want me to do cong-"
He interrupted him with a kiss, his hands cradling Xue Yang´s face, body pressing against his as much as possible. When Xue Yang relaxed against him Xuanyu cursed under his breath, he had miss this.
Xuanyu's hands moved around his body, Xue Yang's robes thin enough for him to notice the heat under his skin. His fingers circled his waist, squeezing softly and Xue Yang's hands tangled in his hair. Xuanyu pushed him against the counted and Xue Yang squeaked when his back hit the wood.
"Sorry..." Xuanyu parted slowly, his breathing choppy.
Xue Yang still had his eyes closed and his cheeks dyed red and, suddenly, he burst into laughing, head dropping against Xuanyu shoulder.
“Someone really missed me”
“You don´t know how much...” and he cradled his face, making Xue Yang look at him again. “And certain earthquake is still deep asleep”
“Oh really?” he asked raising and eyebrow. “And what does that mean?”
“That I can do this”
Kiss him.
Again.
And again.
Until he got tired of it.
"A-Mei..." he kissed his cheek, his jaw, kissing down Xue Yang's neck who turned his head to make room for him. "MeiMei..."
The hand clinging to his hair squeezed harder, and Xuanyu laughed against Xue Yang's skin, he notices tell the other trembling under his hands. The warmth his body gave off...
Xuanyu's mouth moved slowly to return to his mouth, and Xue Yang thought that perhaps he had died and this was a kind of eternal torture, feeling like burning for the rest of his days. It wasn't his first kiss, but kissing Xuanyu always felt like that.
Xuanyu was back.
He was back in Xuanyu´s arms.
Where he belonged.
And then, when he tried to sit Xue Yang´s in the counter, they knocked off the tea cup and it broke with a loud clash.
Had...
But...
But the cup had been broken when he arrived-
“Save this energy for the night,” Xue Yang laughed as he kissed him again.
The cup was fine.
“I missed you...” Xue Yang hand rested on Xuanyu´s chest. “But as much as I´m enjoying this I have a meeting... oh by the gods the meeting!”
And he pushed Xuanyu away, jumping from the counter to the floor and trying to put his robes in order.
“Meeting?”
“It´s about the taxes! I completely forgot when you showed up!” and he tiptoed so he could kiss Xuanyu before stepping back. “Bye! Love you see you for dinner!”
And like that, Xuanyu was left in the middle of their kitchen, just looking at the door where Xue Yang had disappeared and at the cup of steaming tea, still resting in the counter.
Later that night after going down the village for a walk he went back home to find Xue Yang´s shoes by the door. That could only mean that he was back to so Xuanyu rushed to their chambers.
“May I?” Xuanyu said after knocking in the door, opening it just a little. “I miss my dear consort”
“Come in!” Xue Yang said with a chuckle and Xuanyu opened the door, stepping into the room. “Can you bring me the comb please?”
He was wrapping himself in a light sleep robe and the room was still hot from the talismans he had used to heat the bath, Xuanyu took a mental note about telling the servants to retire the tub. He looked at Xue Yang, skin still tan from summer and...
And scars...
The scars where... no... he used to...
He looked at Xue Yang, smooth skin still tan from summer.
“If they had told me that being your husband would bring so much work, I would have said no,” Xue Yang said as he sat in front of the vanity. “I could sleep for a week”
“Rought day?” Xuanyu grabbed one of the bottles, the one with jasmine essence and the comb, sitting behind Xue Yang so he could untangle his hair. “Usually being my husband is a great pleasure”
He kissed the place where Xue Yang shoulder and his neck joined, humming against his skin.
“I´ve been discussing the taxes with the farmers, it´s been a rough winter for all of them,” Xue Yang closed his eyes. “We´ve trying to search for a solution”
“So brilliant and diligent...” Xuanyu started to comb his hair. “I could have joined you”
“You just arrived home, you deserved a rest... it´s fine, we have almost everything ready”
“Yes?”
“Yes, we... we thought about something but we don´t know what your brother would think, it´s not... the usual way”
“Tell me, I´m not a genius but... I can try to understand your plans”
“We want to tax a higher amount to the ones who managed to obtain good harvest... like, it would seem unfair to take the same amount of grain from those with whose barns are full that from the ones whose fields got ruined by the storm...”
“Oh...”
“We also... well, I also want to send a letter to your brother, ask him to cut taxes in this area... at least until the people recover”
Xuanyu just looked down as he braided Xue Yang´s hair.
He... he wasn´t good at this kind of things, he had been raised in a wealthy home, he still had a hard time with these matters, thinking about the best ways to help those who had less but... Xue Yang was good at this. Since A-Yao had offered them to be the landlords of the area, he had been worried about being a bad person but... Xue Yang was there to guide him and help him.
More a leader than a consort at this point.
“It sounds stressful...”
“It is,” and he leaned back, until his back rested in Xuanyu´s chest. “We´ll meet again tomorrow and... try to finish everything”
“Oh, I just came back and my husband is all busy with politics...” Xuanyu chin rested against Xue Yang´s shoulder, a playful smile forming on his face. “You won´t spend time with me...”
“Come with me then”
“And who would look after Fei then?”
“The servants can do that... or she can join us”
“And she´ll get bored after a few minutes,” Xuanyu added before biting Xue Yang´s shoulder. “Really bored”
“Are you talking about the kid or about yourself Xuanyu?”
“We´ll both would get bored to death and you know it”
His hand sneaked under Xue Yang´s robe, caressing his skin slowly. Xue Yang turned around so he could face him and Xuanyu smiled, big and bright.
“I had a nightmare last night,” he said as he retired his hand, their eyes finding each other in the mirror. “A weird one”
“The one where your father married you to Wang Lingjiao?”
A shiver run down his spine, but he shacked his head.
“No... it was so weird like, my brother had you killed when we were sixteen and then... then he defamed me and I had to go back to Mo village,” to the place where he had grown up before Lanling. Before his dage and Xue Yang. “And then I was some kind of ghost? And you died again and it was so weird and I don´t know it was-”
Then, his eyes found Xue Yang ones again and-
He blinked.
“I had a nightmare last night,” Xuanyu said, feeling like he had already told someone about this. “A weird one”
“The one where your father married you to Wang Lingjiao?”
“Worst, this time he married me to Chang Ping”
“Oh god's poor you, what would you do without me as a husband?” that smile... he wanted to kiss that smile each day.
“Die probably”
“I have to do all the work in this house”
Xue Yang stood, the gray sleep robe floating behind him as he walked past Xuanyu, who was grabbed his wrist before he could run away.
“Wait! With all the rush I didn´t give you your gifts”
“A gift? For me?” Xue Yang asked batting his eyelashes. “Is young master Jin trying to conquer this lowly one?”
“Maybe...” Xuanyu hand cups Xue Yang´s cheek softly and Xue Yang leans against his touch, eyes closed and smiling like a cat that just lay down in the sun. “Even if you're not a lowly one”
“Oh really?” Xue Yang´s hands grab Xuanyu´s arm, pulling him closer. “Who I am then?”
“I don´t know,” Xuanyu runs the fingers of his free hand down Xue Yang´s black hair, twirling the end on his finger. “Tell me who you want to be”
“Just you...”
“Sap... you didn´t need to bring any gifts”
“What kind of husband do you think I am?” and he stood to, combing a strand of hair behind Xue Yang´s ear. “Of course, I brought gifts for Fei and you”
“What do you want Xuanyu?”
“Just to pamper you both during the rest of my life,” he smiled and Xue Yang couldn't help but roll his eyes. “Close your eyes”
“Okay, okay...”
Xue Yang obeyed, standing in the middle of the room as Xuanyu took the box out of this traveling bag.
“Don´t open your eyes!”
“They´re closed!”
Xuanyu laughed as he stood in front of Xue Yang.
“Hands up...” and he left the box there. “You can open your eyes now”
“They´ll look so pretty on you,” he said placing the jewel against Xue Yang´s ear. “Like everything does”
The earrings were bright red, droplets of gems tangled with golden that fall almost to his shoulder.
“And they match the robes”
"A new set of robes? What's the occasion?"
"Can't I gift you things just because I can?"
"Yes but..." Xue Yang held the robe so he could see it better. "This is so fancy"
It was a silky black robe, light and embroidered with silver.
It looked expensive, not like something he would wear around their home.
"Well, at least it's not yellow, I hate how I look in yellow"
"You married into Jin sect A-Mei," Xuanyu said with a chuckle. "Yellow is our color"
"And I hate it," he said as he folded the new robe.
"You looked good in the disciple robes"
"Oh yes, cheap robes covered in blood most of the time, beautiful"
When Xue Yang rolled his eyes Xuanyu rested his hand on his waist, pulling him closer.
"I won't say no to seeing you covered in blood again you know? That was hot"
And Xue Yang punched his shoulder.
"Whore!"
“Your whore, only yours”
Xuanyu kissed him again, soft and gentle and... why it tasted metallic? What... he pushed the thought to the back of his head.
“Thanks... it´s really pretty”
“Like you,” and Xue Yang rolled his eyes again. “You know how this would look even better?”
He asked, hand sneaking under the collar of Xue Yang´s robes.
“If you say in the floor I´m biting you”
“Well... then I can drop this on the bed and you on the floor... but that sounds pretty uncomfortable”
“You know what´s uncomfortable? Sleeping in the woodshed, good luck”
And he stepped back, turning his back to Xuanyu and slipping under the blankets.
“Oh, gods come here,” and he sat in the bed, moving away the blankets. “Get in bed big idiot”
“Really?”
“I´m not sending you to the fucking woodshed Xuanyu”
And he throws himself, arms around Xue Yang´s tiny frame as he laughs and the other covers them with the blankets.
“You´re such a Jin sometimes”
“You´re a Jin by marriage”
“Oh, shut up before I change my mind,” and he curls closer to Xuanyu, closing his eyes. “Sleep”
Xuanyu closed his eyes and ignores the weird feeling curling in his chest.
When he woke up the sun barely slipped between the curtains, the dim and cold light of winter making the dust shine in the room. He sat up slowly and a chill ran down his body, the blankets wrinkled under his body.
Looking to his left, looking at Xue Yang wrapped in blankets and curled up in his robes... a strange calm invaded him. Xuanyu moved slowly so that he could get under the blankets and pick up the book he had left by the bed the night before, tying his hair in a ponytail using the green bow that used to hold Xue Yang's hair, which now covered the bed like spilled ink. It was still early, and Xue Yang deserved a break, the two of them did, but Xuanyu could rest latter.
He didn't know how long he spent like that before he noticed movement next to him, but from one second to the next Xue Yang had passed an arm around his waist, hugging him closer, his nose nuzzling into his hip bone as he let out a sound that resembled a purr.
“Morning...”
“Morning baobei...” he put down the book and turned around so he could kiss Xue Yang´s forehead. “Did you slee-”
And the door opened, hitting the wall with a loud bang and suddenly Fei was jumping in the bed.
“Fei!”
“Baba! A-Die!” she fell to her knees, shacking Xue Yang so he would sit up too. “Baba wake up! A-Die tell baba to wake up! Up! Up!”
Xuanyu laughed, pulling the kid into hug and kissing her hair as Xue Yang complained, trying to hide back under the blankets.
“Baba your kid reclaims you” Xuanyu laughed, shacking Xue Yang gently. “Baba...”
“No...”
“No?”
“Wake baba! A-die wake him up”
“Okay... princess orders”
And he pulled of the blankets, hovering over Xue Yang, hands searching for his waist so he could trail his way up and ticking his skin. He ripped a laugh out of his lips and Xue Yand head dropped against the pillow as he tried to kick him away.
“We said no tickles!” he managed between laughs; his breath unsteady. “Traitor!”
Xuanyu looked at him, Xue Yang's hair was a stain of black ink against the bed. He smelt like jasmine and oranges... and under all that, something Xuanyu had learned to associate with resentful energy.
Resentful energy...
But they were proper cultivators.
Why would... why... just... it was just ink.
Jasmine and oranges... and under all that ink.
When he ripped other chuckle out of him and his head dropped back again, Xuanyu head was debating between how he never wanted to bit a neck that bad and how he would die for listening Xue Yang laugh every single day of his life.
“Baba!” and Fei cut his thoughts by jumping in Xue Yang chest. “Baba wake up!”
“I´m awake!” he said, tears still rolling down his face. “Oh my gods this is unpaid”
“Can I go to the Shun´s farm? They invited me to see the chickens!”
“What?”
“Can I? Please! Please baba, A-die! Please!”
“I...” Xuanyu looked at his husband. “Sure?”
“Go... you didn´t need to break my ribs for that little bird”
“Sorry baba!” and she kissed his nose before hugging Xuanyu and running out of the room. “Bye!”
“She´s going to kill us one day,” Xue Yang said, trying to catch his breathe.
“She won't” he helped his husband to sit in the bed. “She´s just... quite energetic”
"She's been playing with that Shun kid the whole week," he added with a pout. "I don't like that kid"
"Xue Yang..."
"He's going to steal our kid! What are we going to do if he asks for her hand!"
"Xue Yang she's six"
"I don't care! She's not marrying! Not now not in twenty years! I'm going to send her to Gusu or something!"
“Xue Yang...”
"People marry young this days Xuanyu!" his hands gripped Xuanyu's collar, shacking him. "Look at us! Your brother married us at seventeen! What if someone wants to marry Fei!"
Seventeen? Seventeen... why... why he didn´t remember...
Yes.
Their wedding.
Seventeen, just a few weeks after his birthday.
"A-Yao married us so he could send as away and make heart eyes at his dear Xichen the whole day," he held Xue Yang hands. "So, I'm actually glad, I would dig my eyes out before seeing that bow-stop the other for bowing shit one more time"
Ironic, thinking about how he had his love life put togheter and his brother was out there pinning after a married man.
“Don´t joke about this,” he pouted. “It´s a really serious matter”
“Sure babe”
“Xuanyu!”
“Listen, if they really stole our baby, we can always make a new one,” Xuanyu kissed him, slowly and pressing his body against Xue Yang´s until his back hit the mattress. Xue Yang opened his mouth, welcoming him, hands tangling in Xuanyu´s hair as he pulled him closer. “I have a few ideas”
“One is almost too much and you want more?”
“Maybe...” he said against Xue Yang´s forehead. “We could get a new one from the same place we got this one, easy...”
Could...
Could... steal... adopt...
Could have a kid?
Adopt... where...
Where did... where did Fei... she...
“Xuanyu?” he massaged his temples. “Xuanyu what´s wrong?”
“Nothing just...”
“Your head again?”
“Yes...”
Again?
“Come here...” Xue Yang held him, spiritual energy flowing from the tips of his fingers into his skull, making the pain go away. “Want to go for a walk?”
“Yes please...” his head was still spinning.
“Okay, let me grab some clothes...”
Walking along the river with Xue Yang grabbed to his arm was... grounding.
It helped to push away the weird pain and... the thoughts.
“The daughter of the blacksmith is getting married. Did I tell you? I don´t think so... I thought that we could go to her wedding, show up and gift her something pretty... it´s been so long since the last time we went to a party”
“Sure...”
“We could make some.... banquet or something too, to celebrate the solstice and all that and maybe we can call that fireworks artist that worked at our wedding”
“Yes”
“And I could bath in blood and dance under the moon as I sing to attract demons”
“Lovely”
“You´re not listening,” Xue Yang said as he rolled his eyes. “What´s wrong with you?”
"Eh? Oh... sorry...” Xuanyu stopped in his tracks, shaking his head. “Just tired I suppose...”
“Sure?”
“Yes I... I´m fine”
And Xue Yang smile was bloody for one second before going back to his normal self.
“You´re pale...”
“Sorry I... I didn´t meant to worry you,” Xuanyu closed his eyes when Xue Yang´s hand touched his forehead. “It´s fine, really”
“Okay...”
When Xue Yang stepped back Xuanyu smelt like blood and before he could think about it his husband kicked the water, splashing him.
“Ups”
“MeiMei!”
What had he been worrying about?
“Catch me!”
And he started to run around the river, laughing and splashing him and Xuanyu just followed him until he managed to push Xue Yang into the water.
“Oh no! A water ghoul!” Xue Yang giggled in Xuanyu´s arms. “Why are you disguising as my dear husband? Do you know what he would do if he finds us like this?”
Xuanyu leaned him against the shore, a wild grin in his face as he tried to catch his breath.
“I´m an evil ghoul now?” Xuanyu laughed. “Well... you´ll have to call that husband then”
He kissed Xue Yang, hands tangling in his wet hair. He kissed him and for a moment everything seemed right.
“Since do you like playing the damsel in distress love?” he whispered against his mouth and Xue Yang just giggled again.
“Since it makes you laugh”
When they walked back to the house another sting of sharp pain hit Xuanyu.
Next life...
He closed his eyes and saw blood.
I´ll wait...
Something was wrong.
Wait...
So, so wrong.
Scars... Xue Yang´s scars...
“Xuanyu!”
He felt to his knees.
“Xuanyu what´s wrong!”
Blood... Xue Yang smelt like blood.
“A-Yu oh my god, are you okay?”
Goodbye.
“Xuanyu?”
A grave.
“This is not real...”
For a moment, everything went blurry.
“No...”
The imagen around him changed.
“Xuanyu?”
Blood...
Red and black all around him.
“This isn´t real”
“A-die!”
He looked up and saw the kid.
They didn't had kids.
They... no... this kid...
“This isn´t real”
He looked at Xue Yang, Xue Yang whose eyes were warm brown and... no.
Xue Yang eyes were red.
They had always been, red and bloody, sharp as his smile.
“It´s a dream”
“What?”
“This is a dream”
“A-die?”
“We don´t have a daughter,” and when he looked up to the kid, she banished.
And when the kid banished Xue Yang screamed like someone had rip away his soul.
“This is not real”
He looked at Xue Yang, his eyes were red now.
Red and glassy as he cried.
“Xue Yang... what have you done?”
“It´s real...”
“No my love”
He didn´t remembered why he had woken up in an inn.
“It´s not real”
He didn´t remembered getting married.
“This is a dream my love”
He didn´t remembered any of this it just... appeared in his head when he needed it.
“Look at me...” he knelt in front of Xue Yang. “Look at me my love...”
“It´s real... it can be real...”
“Xue Yang...” he cupped his jaw. “We´re dead...”
Xue Yang smelt like blood.
All the time he just...
He was covered in blood.
His tears were red.
“We´re dead and you don´t want to cross to the other side, right? Oh love... are you scared?”
“It´s real... it´s real... this...” he kept mumbling. “Everything...”
“No...”
Why was this happening? Had Xue Yang soul pulled them into a dream?
“It´s not real”
“But it could be!” he screamed, grabbing into Xuanyu robes.
His hands were covered in blood.
“It can... it´s ours... it´s real...”
What had happened to his Xue Yang? How much pain had made this?
“No...”
"I'll change it! Whatever you need I'll do it!"
"Xue Yang no-"
"I'll do it... if... if this is a lie let's make it perfect..." he was shacking, grabbing into Xuanyu's robes as he sobbed, the wound in his chest bleeding no stop. "Please... please stay... please..."
"Xue Yang stop"
"I'll change it! What do you want! Ask for anything! I can change it... it can change myself! It's that the problem? I don't care... a palace of gold... a new body... I'll do it please Xuanyu please..."
"No"
"I'm begging you... stay... we'll be happy, you and me and... and Fei....Fei... where id she? Xuanyu where is Fei? Xuanyu? Xuanyu what's wrong?"
Xue Yang tilted his head, eyes lost and wandering around, he... he wasn't okay.
This wasn't okay.
"Xue Yang..."
"Fei? Fei where are you!" he let go from Xuanyu robes, running around the garden.
Like he has forgotten about the kid disappearing in front of his eyes some seconds ago.
“We´re alive...”
“Xue Yang...”
“Fei! Come here!”
He turned around, looking at Xuanyu and his robe started to tear in the places where the fight had hurt him.
“Why are you knelling in the garden A-Yu?”
A pool of blood at his feet.
“A-Yu?”
He grabbed his sword.
“We´re dead”
He grabbed a sword that didn´t had a name even if he remembered it.
“A-Yu?”
He pointed Yueguang toward himself, what kind of name was that? He had never had a sword.
“It´s not real”
Xue Yang screamed again when Xuanyu impaled his own body but... it didn´t hurt.
There weren´t blood.
“We´re dead Xue Yang,” the other felt to his knees. “It´s a dream”
Xue Yang kept bleeding.
“It´s real...”
“It´s not,” he cradled his face. “Your pain pulled us here... but it´s not real”
“It can be... we can stay...” he sounded so lost. “Stay...”
“No Xue Yang if we stay your soul would disappear...” he pulled him into s hug. “My soul is lost love... but yours not... you need to pass to the other side...”
“No...”
“Yes, my love...”
“It´s real... it´s real for us...” he couldn´t even grab into Xuanyu.
He couldn't even hug him back, right arm gone and the left one useless after Song Lan had broken it.
“You won´t be there....”
“I´ll be there, looking after you...”
“No...”
He kissed his hair.
He rocked Xue Yang in his arms.
“My love... you need to go there.... have a new life....”
“No without you...” he tried to break free, but Xuanyu held him closer. “No...”
“I´ll be there love”
“No...”
He started sobbing again.
“I won´t remember you.... this... I want this...”
“We can´t have this my love...”
This was a lie, a glimpse of what they could have... but it was a lie.
They... they were dead.
Their story was over.
“I got you... I´ll held you the whole time, okay?”
The house collapsed.
“We´ll cross together...”
“No...”
Xuanyu combed his hair.
Kissed him slowly.
“Live for me...”
Again.
“Live for us...”
And again.
“Live this dream... but make it real...”
And again, until he felt his lungs burn even if he no longer needed to breath.
“Live...”
“No without you”
“For me... live for me please...”
He hugged him closer, Xue Yang curled around him with his last strength.
“It´s been so beautiful... but it's time to wake up”
Xuanyu closed his eyes.
“I love you...”
Xue Yang was crying, trembling like a leaf.
He was cold.
So cold that it hurt.
And he kept bleeding.
“I love you Xue Yang...”
And Xue Yang screamed.
“Together... okay?”
He was limp against his chest.
More dead than alive.
Tired, so, so tired...
“I love you...” it was a whisper between sobs. “I love you...”
“I know...”
Hold him closer.
“I know my life...”
They closed his eyes.
“Live for us...”
Everything got colder.
“Goodbye...”
And then, light.
White light.