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Stephen breathed a sigh of relief when he saw Wong and America appear at the other end of the star shaped portal. Finally, it was over. America Chavez was safe now. The girl wouldn’t be hunted down any longer as long as his heart was still beating. The multiverse also wouldn’t be destroyed anytime soon.
They still needed to rebuild Kamar-Taj, tended to the wounded, buried the dead, and mourned for them.
His conscience reminded him that he just killed someone again. He really hated it when this happened. Granted it was for self-defense and he didn’t mean to kill the other other other Stephen. He just wanted to take the Darkhold. Did it count as suicide if he killed his alternate self? He asked his conscience to take a number. He needed to deal with this guilt later. One problem at a time.
He was about to step through the portal when he felt sharp pain in his ribs and he doubled over. The Cloak and Christine came to support him before his knees touched the ground. The image of his alternate self in blue kneeling on the ground looking so downtrodden and about to be executed flashed through his mind. He felt really bad for the alternate him. He knew how the other other Stephen felt—the weight of the deaths of trillions on his hands when he was trying to do the right thing. It was not unlike his situation on Titan. Although most of them returned after being blipped, there were still some deaths caused indirectly by the Snap. Why did all his alternate selves die horribly and why did they all do something that they (including himself) wouldn’t be proud of? Were all they destined to take the wrong path? Would he go down this path eventually? Were they all destined to die alone?
He looked up at Christine. “Did your Stephen have a chance to say goodbye to you before… before he died?” He didn’t realize he was lying down now. He must have zoned out when they were supporting him. It seemed he was in his own bedroom now in his own universe. How long was he out?
As if reading his mind, Christine answered, “You are in shock. I’m not surprised given what happened to you just now being attacked by the souls of the Damned. You only zoned out for nine minutes. Wong didn’t want to return to 616 via Wundagore so Miss America opened another portal to 616 and Wong opened a portal to your bedroom behind her portal. It was fantastic to see a portal behind another portal.” Christine’s eyes were bright. She must be excited to find ways to simulate these portal technologies in her universe. “You must be so proud of her as she could easily open a portal to the right universe after your speech about believing in herself.”
“She’s a bright kid.”
“She is. I apologize on behalf of my colleagues from Baxter Lab for things that we have done in order to protect our universe. I’m sorry that I didn’t believe in you and called you the same as the other Stephens.”
“Don’t need to apologize to me. I might do something similar to protect my universe.” He smiled as he recalled someone complaining to him about falling for 30 minutes while he was only doing his job. “You gave me too much credit. I’m similar to the other Stephens. The difference is I found out what happened if I only used my head without following my heart and did it the other way.”
“The 745 Stephen, yes that was the Stephen with three eyes who fell to his death, followed his heart instead of his conscience. You not only have a big and kind heart but you also have a great conscience. You were able to make the difficult choices. For once, you didn’t want to be the one holding the knife. I’m so proud of you.” Christine smiled and patted his hand softly.
Stephen’s gaze lingered on her hand as he felt her heat seeped through his robe. She realized what she had done and quickly withdrew her hand and took a step back. “Thanks. No hard feelings for me but you should definitely apologize to America.”
“I will.”
“Where are America and Wong anyway?”
“They’re outside this room. They said they wanted to give us some privacy and …”
Stephen was about to get up to open the door to let them in but the Cloak pushed him down. This time he felt some pains on his back as well. Oh, the Scarlet Witch used a spell to hit his back but the Cloak protected his back hence the patch on the poor Cloak now. Some of the remaining spells must have hit his back, with his adrenaline down, all his pains and aches make their presence known as he felt his throat sore, his head felt heavy with some pains especially at the back. Even his chest, arms, elbows, knees, legs, and other parts also ached now. He must have gotten hit more than he realized when she attacked. He nearly forgot that he also had a scuffle with Mordo.
Christine put both hands on her waist and clicked her tongue. “Where do you think you’re going Mister? I haven’t finished talking. They also want to let you rest and heal. Wong gave me a brief summary about your injuries and America told me what happened when you travelled through the Multiverse. You only threw up like 3 times, I’m so proud of you.”
Stephen thought, “That must be a very long nine minutes that they could talk about me without me realizing.”
Misunderstanding Stephen’s unimpressed stare, she quickly added, “I’m not kidding. I’ve seen worse. Some people throw up for a few days and some even have vertigo or motion sickness for a few weeks. You just get up and fight so you’re really something.”
“I have someone worth protecting. That’s quite a motivation.”
Christine smiled. “I know. All Stephens seem to really love deeply. I don’t mean only romantic love but also familial love, friendship love, or platonic love. You seem to be able to love all equally which is great. But there is someone you really need to love more.”
Stephen was baffled. “Who?”
“Yourself, Stephen. You should love yourself first. I know you’ll say that you used to love yourself too much, hence the arrogance. But that wasn’t love. That was hiding from your fear of rejection from others. You said it yourself less than half an hour ago that you’re afraid to love and be loved. The solution for that is to love yourself first. When you love yourself, you’ll eventually open up for love from others and also love others without any fear.”
Stephen didn’t expect that kind of answer.
“I know you’ll say that you’re not worth the love but Wong and America would say otherwise. They’re so worried about you. If you don’t think you’re worth it, just think of them.”
“I really need to check on them. Wong was alone for quite a long time with Wanda so he must be quite injured. America was attacked a few times as well as she tried to take her power.”
“Wong already called two healers to check on them as we speak. Wong even suggested that they would take two bedrooms adjacent to this so you could take care of each other. He knew that you would be worried if you couldn’t check on him or America so he decided to stay here with you until all of you heal properly.”
Stephen was flabbergasted. Wong knew him so well. “That must be a really long nine minutes with so many things happening.”
Christine laughed at his non sequitur. “I lied to you. You were out for like one hour. But I said it was only nine minutes so you wouldn’t feel so bad but you caught on. I’m serious about everything I said. Love yourself first. Let your body heal properly first before taking on another heavy duty. Let your soul heal from those attacks from the damned. Let your mind heal from whatever shenanigans all Stephens are up to when they protect the Universe. Yes, I think all Stephens have the trait to put the weight of the world on their shoulders.”
Apparently, it was not only Wong who knew him so well. Stephen’s eyes watered. “Thank you for everything.”
“You’re welcome. To answer your first question, no, I didn’t have the chance to say goodbye to my Stephen. I thought he was going to die in the battle with Thanos so I had already had my farewell in my mind but when they told me the truth, it was really hard.” Christine used her sleeves to wipe her tears.
“I’m sorry.”
“So am I. But after one year, I’ve accepted it as our fate. At least both of you and Christine are still alive in this universe. That’s something to treasure.”
“I know. We’re still friends.”
“Good.” She smiled thinly. At least she had stopped crying now. “We are indeed an unbeatable duo in any universe.”
He smiled. “That’s true. Thanks again.”
“You’re welcome. Thank you for returning my faith in Stephen Strange. Some of you might be misguided but your intention has always been good. Good bye Stephen. Take care and remember to love yourself.”
Stephen swallowed thickly. “Thanks, Christine. Bye.”
With that, she opened the door, Wong and America quickly rushed into his room.
He sat up. America gave him a hug and he winced. She noticed it and released her hug. “Sorry, I forgot about the ribs.”
“That’s OK, kid. How do you feel?”
“Not bad. I look and feel much better than you.”
He looked up and saw Christine formed a heart using her thumbs and forefingers and stuck them to her hearts then spread her hands open out. She repeated the motion two more times. “Love yourself first then others.” He nodded and waved his goodbye to her.
She waved back.