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14th of February.
For many people that date was as important as Christmas or the arrival of the long-awaited summer. Everything was painted pink and red: shops, streets, stalls and even the school where Chuuya studied.
Chuuya Nakahara was a senior student and one of the most popular at the institute. He was the classic outgoing guy who was always on everyone's mouth for the bullshit he did.
A hurricane of trouble and liveliness. This is how Dazai liked to define him. He was another popular senior, a few months younger than Nakahara. The whole school knew them and they were familiar with their love-hate relationship.
Unlike the redhead, Dazai was a quiet type. He did nothing to attract attention. It was simply his presence that intrigued others and made them want to know him.
"Good morning, Chuuya" Dazai smiled, placing the bag on his desk. The two weren't deskmates, but Dazai never missed an opportunity to disturb his friend. "You are back from suspension unfortunately"
He sighed and only got a glare in response. Chuuya had just come back from a two-week suspension for beating up a second year boy, unable to hold his tongue and who had unleashed his rage.
"You came back on the worst day. How many notes did you find in the locker?" Dazai spoke again. They attended an American high school that organized the exchange of love cards every Valentine's Day, but - despite the initiative - the students preferred to do the old-fashioned way and put their notes in the lockers. And Dazai and Chuuya's were always full.
"I don't have the courage to open it to be honest. The janitor Moshitoro would kill me instantly" Chuuya laughed, finally deciding to speak.
Dazai had to admit he missed him a little bit because Chuuya was one of the few interesting things in that school. Or perhaps the only one.
He found school boring and, although he was one of the brightest students there, he felt not the slightest interest or satisfaction in having good grades. He went to school when he wanted, but there were more times that he jumped or took refuge on the roof. And when, by a miracle, he was in class he would spend his time annoying Chuuya, filling him with messages and throwing balls of paper at him if he chose to ignore him.
Because Chuuya gave the best annoyed reactions and Dazai enjoyed himself for that short amount of time.
"You'll have to do it sooner or later. It can't be closed forever." Dazai sat on the chair in front of Chuuya's desk and turned to look at him. "And who knows maybe you'll find someone to spend the evening with today."
"Ah?! For your information, I already have a date for tonight!" Chuuya exclaimed, offended by his friend's insinuation. "Tachihara has been asking me out for a month already."
"Tachihara?" Dazai raised an eyebrow as he tried to figure out who he was. It was a name he'd already heard "The one who plays drums in Black Lizard?"
Dazai was surprised. Not so much that Chuuya was having a date, but that he was with Tachihara. His friend's homosexuality was now known throughout the school, but he didn't know that even the Black Lizard drummer liked boys.
Not that he cared that much of course.
"On the other hand, I'm dating a beautiful girl from the second year. I just couldn't tell her no." Dazai smile, receiving only a resigned sigh from Chuuya "What?"
"You probably don't even remember her name, you idiot."
"Well yeah, but it will be enough to use a few cheesy and stupid nicknames for the whole evening."
Nakahara said nothing. He was now used to Dazai's way of dealing with girls. He didn't approve of it, but he wasn't better with outgoing people than him either. He just had the decency to at least remember their names and didn't go out with the only intent of getting into their pants for a night.
Chuuya actually didn't have many dates, but the most sensational ones were never for more than a month. He wasn't the one-night type, but also the one for lifelong relationship either. He enjoyed that little time and then he was satisfied.
Tachihara had invited him on Valentine's Day a month in advance, after one of the band's performances. Chuuya didn't expect it, but he didn't refuse as he was impressed by the boy's braveness. And undoubtedly Tachihara was a really charming guy.
"I foresee another relationship for my Chuuya then! Who knows how long it will last this time. Try to leave each other in friendship that I want to continue going to concerts with you."
And that confession for a second made Chuuya's stomach tighten. Dazai barely showed that he cared about their friendship or did so in small ways, but every time it happened a sense of satisfaction warmed chuuya from the gut.
"Akugatawa would let you go in even if you were a monster with two demon horns and the muzzle of a giraffe. That kid looks crazy for you," Chuuya laughed, talking about the freshman that Dazai often helped with repetitions. They weren't friends, but Dazai had taken him under his wing for a while against the bullies in their class.
"Professor Hirotsu gets mad enough when he secretly lets Atsushi in to rehearsals. Just think if he decides to let such a monster in during a concert." Dazai laughed at the very idea. A scenario as unlikely as it's funny.
Their conversation had to end there however as the owner of the seat was claiming it and the lesson was about to begin. Dazai got up and sat down at his desk, but not before leaving to Chuuya his book with a note on it
You need to make up for two weeks of study, Chuchu. I took your notes as a good friend that I am: P
Chuuya read it a couple of times and smiled at the hastily drawn emoticon. Dazai had gone to school every day and took notes just for him when he could ask his classmates.
The feeling of warmth returned and the redhead felt his heart go crazy for the rest of the lesson.
Other lessons went on calmly and Chuuya already lacked the routine he had developed in the two weeks of detention. Because, in addition to the suspension, his mother had decided to punish him and not allow him to leave the house. The woman had listened to him and shared her son's point of view, but not the method he had used to defend himself.
Violence wasn't accepted in the Nakahara house and for that she had punished him.
Luckily that was until yesterday or he wouldn't have been able to go out with Tachihara that evening. At the end of the last lesson Chuuya stopped in front of his locker for leaving a couple of books for the next day. He saw how Mr. Moshitoro was already ready and with the broom in his hand to beat him.
For years, sweeping the love letters of popular kids had been the most hateful task for him and he had a particular hatred for Dazai and Chuuya. Not that the redhead understood why since it wasn't their fault at all. He also didn't like having the locker full of pink and heart-shaped letters from girls even after his coming out. What part of homosexuality was hard to understand?
Only a couple of times he received some anonymous tickets from some guys, but they never show themselves.
Chuuya reached out for the lock to put the combination; his legs ready to escape from the janitor's anger. The man narrowed his eyes and squeezed the broom handle.
It looked like a duel between sheriffs. All that was missing was the gust of wind and the hay ball like in real western movies.
"Chuuya!" But what distracted them both was a voice from the other side of the hallway. Tachihara was running towards him and placed his hands on his knees to catch his breath when finally in front of him. "Oh my God, what an effort. I have to start training again."
The gasping, oxygen-free voice made Chuuya chuckle, along with his words. He gave him time to recover before asking why he was in such a hurry. The youngest's face fades a little when he has to break the news.
"Hirotsu told us the concert was brought up and I have to rehearse tonight. I'm so sorry, Chuuya. I had a nice evening planned. I'm a real disaster." He said with sincere regret, tilting his head in apology. "I would tell you to come, but Atsushi will already be there and I don't want to upset the master. I'll be forgiven, really!"
Chuuya was listening to him in silence and then approached him and took his hands. He felt the agitation growing in the other even though he had no reason for worrying about.
Chuuya was neither angry nor disappointed. Unforeseen events happened to everyone and they had many other evenings to go out. He told him with a reassuring smile on his face and Tachihara felt his heart sigh with relief.
"Thank goodness. I was afraid I had ruined everything. Would you like to have lunch together tomorrow? Let's go to the cafeteria and I'll buy you whatever you want."
Chuuya wanted to tell him not to worry and that he could pay for his lunch, but he didn't. He didn't mind Tachihara's idea at all and so he gladly accepted.
Throughout his high school yeas, except for periods of suspension, Chuuya always ate alone or with Dazai. Although he was among the most populars he didn't like to sit with anyone else because he only found Dazai interesting. Of course he found the guy incredibly annoying and he always stole his pudding, but being with him was fun.
All he had to do was tell Dazai that he would break that tradition of theirs for lunch tomorrow.
Tachihara and Chuuya stood there talking for a few minutes before he had to run away to get ready for the band's rehearsals. Chuuya looking at him run away and then turned to leave the institute and go home, too.
The locker still closed.
"I'm back, mom!" He announced himself once he got home and went to his mother who was making dinner. She was a beautiful young woman with long red hair and a questionable height.
Chuuya had taken practically every aspect of his physiognomy from her and unfortunately that last detail too. He smiled and leaned down to give her a kiss in the hair and enjoy the scent of the sauce on the flame.
"Is Dad coming home for dinner tonight?" His father was an hardworking man and spent most of his time in the office. The woman, on the other hand, was a marine biologist, but she decided to quit her job to raise Chuuya when, at the age of five, she noticed how much time their son spent with the nannies because of their works.
Mrs. Nakahara's heart sank from spending more time with fishes than with her son. So she decided to move to the city with her husband to give Chuuya all kinds of possibilities. There was no shortage of money.
"He said he'll be late, but I'll wait for him to eat. Honey, you eat before so then you're free for your date." She said enthusiastic at the idea of seeing her boy go out with someone.
She was such an incurable romantic.
"Calm down mom. I'll be home tonight. He's got the rehearsals and he just can't skip them," he said calmly as he opened the pantry to get something to nibble on. The woman turned to look at him, displeased.
"I'm sorry, honey. You ask some of your friends out, right? What about that tall, cute boy you brought to study that time?"
"Dazai? Nah, he's dealing with a girl he just couldn't say no to." Chuuya laughed, imitating his tone of voice.
"Oh...Well then someone els-"
"Mom. Is there a reason why you want me out of the house tonight?" Chuuya interrupted her, giggling while eating his chips.
The woman's face drastically changed color and became as close as possible to her hair and the red apron she was wearing.
"Well...Your father and I were hoping to spend Valentine's Day alone," She said in a low and embarrassed tone, causing Chuuya to laugh. He understood.
"Don't worry, mom. After two weeks it's fair that you want to have a romantic dinner and some time for you alone."
"Oh God, this is so awkward. Thank you very much, darling. You're an angel." She said. "I beg you, however, to be careful and call me or dad if you need anything. I recommend home for eleven that there is school tomorrow and don't go where you can be drug- "
"Mom! I know, I know. Don't worry, okay? I don't go to drug addicts." Chuuya reassured her and then took the packet of chips and left the kitchen to relax in his room.
He put his bag on the desk and then took off the school uniform to put on more comfortable clothes. An oversized sweatshirt and sweatpants seemed like the best choice at all
He then his phone from the jacket and stared at the screen confused to see two missed calls from Dazai. Since when did Dazai call him and twice in a row?
He clicked on his contact and put the it on speaker, while getting comfortable on the bed. A couple of rings and the call began.
"Chuuuuuuya! You are so mean for not answering me!" Dazai exclaimed from the other side of the phone, lengthening his words like a child. Chuuya could see the pout painted on his face.
"I was talking to my mom and I didn't have the ringer on."
"Oh how's your mom? After two whole weeks with you she's still not crazy?" Dazai commented and Chuuya refrained from closing the call in his face.
"She's fine. She told me to say hello anyway"
"Aw. Chuuya talks about me to his family? How cute you are." He kept going with a mocking tone and Chuuya wanted to slap him.
"Shut your mouth. Why the hell did you call me anyway, mackerel?"
Silence fell between them.
"Dazai?"
"I forgot."
And having said that Chuuya just wanted to enter the phone and appear in front of his friend to strangle him. He hoped he could have any superpower to torture him in the lowest and most painful way possible.
"You're an idiot, Dazai. Anyway I would have called you regardless."
"So mean,Chuuya. You really are cruel after all," Dazai muttered and the sound of an unfastening belt accompanied his words. "And what exactly would you have called me for?"
"Tachihara and I are no longer going out tonight and to make amends he offers me lunch tomorrow in the cafeteria. So we won't have lunch together tomorrow." Chuuya said, then taking another potato chip from the bag. More moments of silence came from Dazai.
"Treason! Chuuya, how can you do this to me ?!" He yelled from the other side of the phone, making the redhead jump in fright.
What the hell is wrong with this idiot?
"My faithful dog wants to change owner! He is abandoning me. The situation has turned upside down! The dog that abandons the owner!" Dazai kept screaming, rolling over on the bed, drowning in disdain.
And Chuuya at those sentences saw red. Was that mackerel crazy or was he just stupid?
"What the fuck are you saying ?! Since when I've been your dog?" He exclaimed angrily, squeezing the sheets so tightly that his knuckles turned white.
"Since you lost to video games at the fair three years ago! You are a faithful little dog, Chuuya!" He broke out the other and the major's anger disappeared, replaced by resignation.
Did Dazai seriously still remember the stupid bet made three years ago and not the reason for calling him? It wasn't possible. Chuuya didn't want to believe it.
"Anyway, I don't like that you leave me all alone, Chuuya. You have to fix this." And Chuuya was blown away for the second time. He didn't think Dazai cared if they didn't have lunch together for once. Indeed, Dazai himself often left him alone to eat with other friends or girls.
"And how am I supposed to do it? Split and stay with both of you? I'm sorry, but it's impossible."
"Go out with me tonight."
His tone of voice was serious and Chuuya thought he was hallucinating or crazy. Dazai was asking him out. Together. Alone. In the night. And on Valentine's Day. Dazai Osamu. The straightest human being he knew.
"Have you gone stupid? What about the date with that pretty second-year girl? I'm not a candle, bastard."
Chuuya's words were followed again by total silence. He now was afraid to listen to the next bullshit fired by Dazai.
"That's why I called you! See that I remembered at the end?" Dazai exclaimed and Chuuya wanted nothing more than to bury himself for him. Why did he have to be friends with someone like that? "I am totally free for tonight. Eventually his ex came back and she dumped me. Women are so cruel sometimes."
"Dazai being rejected by someone. What a beautiful sound to my ears. Should I set it as an alarm clock? Every morning would start like a dream."
"You want me to be your first thought in the morning? How gay Chuuya."
"Dazai- that's enough. I don't even comment anymore."
"Go out with me tonight, Chuuya. The two most popular guys in school can't stay at home like losers."
Chuuya had to think about it because they had never seen each other outside school. Their interactions took place between desks and hallways. But outside? They had never even met by mistake.
What would they have done not even knowing the other's tastes? Chuuya would not have been surprised at Dazai's request for suicide.
But after all, he didn't want to be alone and he had to go out to leave some romance for his parents.
Even though Dazai wouldn't have been his first choice, or even considered it, he decided to accept.
"Okay, but you choose where to go and if it's some strange place you'll see it with me"
And the call ended moments after they agreed on the time. Luckily Dazai had a motorbike and so he would have come to pick him up around seven, but he still had to hurry. He wasn't interested in making a good impression on Dazai, but a shower was the bare minimum.
He left the phone on the bed and got up, grabbing some clean boxers and heading for the bathroom. He stayed there for some time, applying all the hair and body products he used to use. He loved taking care of his appearance and had spent all his money on creams that actually worked on his curls and delicate skin.
Chuuya would never forget that time when a cream almost threatened to ruin years of work behind his beloved curls. He had never felt a greater fear before.
The process of drying them was always slow and took a while, but at the end the result was worth the wait. His red hair framed Chuuya's face perfectly, bringing out the freckles and blue eyes.
He was beautiful without even trying.
Chuuya spent the remaining time in front of the walk-in closet to choose what to wear. There were too many things to pay attention to. The outfit for dating Tachihara had been ready for weeks, but it was no longer an option. He would never have looked so good to go out with someone like Dazai. Never in life. The boy would take him to some strange place, ruining his clothes.
But he didn't want to be sloppy and badly dressed either. He just had to find the right balance.
Unfortunately for him it took longer than expected and in the meantime his room was filled with clothes and shoes, placed everywhere except that in the closet.
"I have nothing to wear!" He yelled throwing himself on the bed, exhausted. He couldn't find anything balanced. Each combination was either too trivial or too elaborate for Dazai. Chuuya was almost tempted to stand up and pretend he had lost a relative or the cat he doesn't even own.
Eventually the solution appeared in front of his eyes half an hour before the meeting time. It was an old sweater he had forgotten to have. It was striped in black and red and featured scattered cuts that made it a bit alternative and in Chuuya's style. It wasn't that great alone, but once paired with ripped baggy jeans, accessories and black platforms everything changed.
"Finally" Chuuya smiled, looking in the mirror and finally feeling satisfied with the result. Accessories such as earrings, rings and necklaces made the outfit in his style and made him feel at ease.
He had made it just in time because Dazai announced his arrival, ten minutes early, with the deafening roar of the bike and a message. Chuuya snatched up his jacket and then went down the stairs, greeting his mother with a kiss on the cheek and listening to her usual recommendations.
"Yes, Mom. I'll be back in time or I'll send you a message!" He exclaimed before opening the door and facing the cold that still loomed over Yokohama. A gust of wind made Chuuya tighten in his jacket as he walked towards Dazai.
"Chuuuya. Have you made yourself cute for me? How lovely!" Dazai's voice was muffled by the helmet that saved him from a slap.
"You wish. I took the first things I found in the closet"
And that was a lie, but Dazai didn't need to know.
"Well, you're fine" The other replied then handing him the helmet and inviting him to climb. And only then Chuuya realized that the hard work on his hair would be destroyed in no time. He sighed, feeling like an idiot for not having thought of it before, and then put on his helmet with no small difficulty. He then climbed up behind Dazai, not knowing where to hold on without it being embarrassing.
"Hold on to me. I don't want to lose you on the way." Dazai said and his voice became muffled again as he lowered his visor. "You're so short that I wouldn't notice."
And Chuuya would have liked so much to hit him for that comment, but his mind was immersed in emotion and fear for his first time on a bike like that. He had gotten onto Gin's bike several times, but it wasn't even comparable to the beast he was sitting in that moment. Chuuya's hands went to grip Dazai's leather jacket who promptly grabbed his arms and attached him to his body.
"Perfect and now hold on to me. Don't give up for any reason". He said and then made the engine roar a couple of times and drove towards an unknown destination.
The wind immediately began to collide with Chuuya's body while the lights of the city and its signs illuminated his eyes.
The first few minutes Chuuya held on so tightly that Dazai's stomach hurt and his back ached, but slowly he began to feel comfortable with it.
Dazai wasn't going too fast and kept his eyes on the road, occasionally passing cars that were too slow for his liking. Chuuya relaxed behind him, slightly loosening his grip and raising his head to admire the view that passed quickly.
He smiled, unaware of the glances Dazai gave him from the mirror every now and then. Seeing the other finally relaxed he took both of his hands with one of his and held him tight as he accelerated. That sudden change of speed made Chuuya's chest crush against his back as a genuine laugh escaped his mouth.
Chuuya's heart was pounding and he couldn't stop. He wanted to stay like that all night without ever getting off.
Unfortunately for him, however, even the most beautiful things had to end and in fact Dazai stopped the bike in a parking lot and turned off the engine. That was the signal to make Chuuya understand that it was time to get off so Dazai loosened his grip on his hands.
Once on their feet they took off both helmets and Dazai's smile grew, observing his friend's hair.
"What are you laughing at, bastard?" Chuuya snapped and then looked in the mirror. His expression changed radically and he seemed almost on the verge of tears. His beautiful curls were ruined.
"You look like a poodle. I told you that you are a dog." Dazai laughed and he had to start running around the parking lot, slalom between the parked cars to avoid being caught by Chuuya. "Are you sure that you can catch me with those dwarf legs?"
"I'll kill you bastard!" He yelled back and continued to chase him even as they mingled with the crowd entering the carnival.
And only then Chuuya realized where Dazai had taken him.
He stopped and looked around, being captured by all the lights and the colors of the rides that surrounded him. In the background, behind the Ferris wheel, the imposing Mori Corp building manifested itself in all its grandeur.
Dazai had taken him to the carnival.
"From your face I guess you won't kick me for the chosen location," Dazai said, approaching him again and Chuuya didn't say anything because in fact he didn't have words. Of all the places he would never have thought of that because Dazai didn't seem interested in that kind of fun.
"I saw the flyer in your backpack this morning. I just took the leap." He replied as if he had read his thoughts.
And if before Chuuya's heart couldn't be stopped, now he had reached cardiac arrest.
"Yeah...I definitely hit the jackpot or am I wrong?" Dazai laughed, digging into Chuuya's eyes where the blue was replaced by the reflection of a thousand neon colors. The redhead looked up, left and right, still incredulous as to where Dazai had taken him. At one point he was sure he had also done a 360° tour with a laugh from his friend attached.
Fucking Dazai Osamu had taken him to the carnival. At Yokohama's most anticipated fucking amusement park and at Valentine's night. What the fuck was going on? And why didn't Chuuya's heart want to stop beating so fast? Stop, stop idiot. Chuuya screamed in his mind.
"If you're wrong? Shit, Dazai, I- I thought you were taking me to some dingy place or drinking alcohol while you hitting on girls...not this. You don't even like rides!"
"Well I don't like rides if I don't have someone to have fun with," Dazai replied, shrugging, as if that's normal, but it wasn't. No, it wasn't.
Because Dazai, the apathetic and indifferent Osamu, was saying that he was having fun with Chuuya. He also was saying that he enjoyed it so much that he would paid for every ride they would go on because Chuuya hadn't brought enough money with him.
"You're crazy. What's behind this? You want me to get into a faulty seat and see me fall from hundreds of meters high, right?"
This was the hypothesis that Chuuya proposed every time the two did a new attraction that involved the height and therefore each roller coaster.
"As tempting as it is, no. Besides, it is a painful death and we would ruin the evening of many families. The children would be traumatized for life." Dazai's answer was the same at every line and even the accompanying laughter didn't change.
The night continued between bought tickets and long lines to wait. Chuuya was finally able to relax on the fourth roller coaster and have fun without thinking that Dazai had a double purpose. In fact, he did more. He laughed until he felt the muscles in his face tighten and tears in his eyes when Dazai was beaten by a child at a stall and smiled even more when he won his consolation prize. A little white tiger.
"Those games are rigged. I bet that the old man made the kid win on purpose" He muttered as he entered the Ferris wheel cabin: the last carousel of their night out.
"Or is just you who have a bad aim?" Chuuya teased him as he sat down next to him. The carousel began to move slowly, climbing higher and higher.
"I wanted to win the big soft toy. The dog-shaped one"
Up
"Dog? But if you hate them"
Up.
"because it was for you"
Up.
For me? Chuuya thought. He felt his cheeks burn.
Up again and the carousel stopped. The view of the city from there was amazing, but Chuuya didn't really care.
"Dazai. Can I ask you something?" He ventured, taking courage to continue once he got a line of consent "Did you want to bring that girl here tonight?"
Only a restrained laugh left Dazai's lips.
"No, I would've taken her to some idiot and boring restaurant, said some trivial compliments and paid for the dinner." He replied and after a moment of silence he spoke again. "Do you want to know the truth, Chuuya?"
And it was Chuuya's turn to nod.
"There was no second-year girl. Nobody asked me to be her Valentine. Or rather, several did it, but I refused all of them"
He did what?
"Why on earth?" Chuuya looked confused and he was. Dazai wasn't the type to turn down a girl's invitation, especially if she clearly cared about him. Let alone different.
"Because they are boring. Everyone is so boring in that school, Chuuya. In fact in the whole world." He sighed, resting his head on the glass behind him. "Everyone except you"
The carousel moved down again.
"That's why I wanted to ask you to go out with me and bring you here. Because I know you like it and I wanted to have fun with you, but then you got suspended. And today, when you came back and I was about to ask you, you told me you were dating Tachihara." A sigh interrupted his monologue "So I made up about the second year girl and her ex. I probably would have spent the evening with Odasaku watching some crime films if Tachihara didn't dumped you. When I called you it was because I wanted to ask you to drop him and go out with me."
Silence fell in the cabin, which suddenly became too hot for Chuuya. And his heart had officially resigned.
Down
"You...But you Dazai- Dazai, you are straight."
"Straight?" Dazai laughed, chin up and eyes closed "Chuuya, just because you've never seen me with a guy it doesn't mean I'm not attracted to them. There is bisexuality after all."
Down.
"You...I- Daz-"
And finish. Their cabin came ashore and the manager waved them to get down quickly to pick up another couple.
"Come on Chuuya. It's almost eleven. The baby has to go to bed." Dazai told him with a smile, taking him by the wrist and helping him down. The walk up to the bike was quiet, but pleasant, indeed.
The journey was too. Chuuya held tight to Dazai, clutching the stuffed animal in his hands and meanwhile Dazai held them to keep him close and not let him fall.
Leaving the carnival had brought some melancholy to Chuuya's heart as he hoped he could see the fires at midnight on Valentine's Day. It didn't matters that much because he would have seen them from the window of his room. It wasn't the same, but he could be satisfied. Although he would have preferred to see them with a person beside him at the foot of the imposing skyscraper.
But it wouldn't happen because his mother didn't accept delays for any reason, least of all for fireworks.
So Chuuya clung to the vain hope of never getting off that bike. Why was it so good to feel Dazai so close? Why would he want to tattoo that scene in his mind and never forget it?
Unfortunately for him his house appeared in front of his eyes. Dazai released his grip and then took off his helmet, helping Chuuya do the same.
"Thank you for everything, Dazai. It really was... surreal"
"Surreal?" Dazai smiled "Your hair is surreal, Chuuya. You look like a poodle"
"Still with this story. Really?" Chuuya wrinkled his nose, sighing and holding back a smile as he saw Dazai smile.
"Obviously." The boy's hand reached a lock of his hair, moving it from in front of his face "You don't have to be tense Chuuya. I'm still the same Dazai as before"
"I know it, but it's surreal. You told me ... those things. In short, I discovered that you are bisexual, Dazai! "
"Hey! Are you homophobic?"
"I'm literally gay"
"Oh right."
Dazai laughed and then leaned out of the bike, grabbing Chuuya by the waist to bring him closer. A risky move.
"Chuuya. Can I kiss you?" He asked in a low voice, looking at the redhead's face who lost a heartbeat at that request. "Even if you consider me a wasteful idiot; even if we're just friends; even if you're interested in Tachihara ... Can I kiss you this once, please?"
Everything stopped. The wind, the cold, the noise of the bike still running and the sound of crickets. Everything stopped as if a bubble had spread around them.
Chuuya's gaze fell on Dazai's lips and temptation hit him for the first time. Because for the first time he was looking at his lips and they looked good enough to attract him.
A whispered consent was enough for Dazai. The two slowly approached and the kiss was sweet and sugary. In the truest sense of the word because Chuuya had eaten cotton candy from a stall less than an hour ago.
Dazai's hands were tight on Chuuya's waist who meanwhile had placed them on his shoulders, the stuffed animal still tight in the grip. It never resulted in anything intense, but it seemed so. Of so many kisses that Chuuya had given his was the first to make him dizzy and lack oxygen without using his tongue.
The two broke apart and Dazai stroked Chuuya's freckled cheek. His eyes were full of light as they had never been.
"How do you feel, Chuuya?"
"Well ... very well. I, yes, I'm fine."
"Thank you..." Dazai whispered and then took his hand, allowing the other to move away a little and not stand on tiptoe.
"Dazai, I-"
"Don't say anything, really. It's no use. I've wanted to do it for a long time, but I don't want to ruin what we have. We can continue as before and leave this evening on the back burner" The smile on Dazai's face was less genuine than those made on rides first. Much less.
"Dazai, you idiot. Can you stop interrupting me?" Chuuya commented with a noticeable frown on his face which then relaxed into a sweet expression. "I'm just surprised. I discovered so many things ... you said so many things to me that made me dizzy." A laugh accompanied the comment " I just need some time, okay? To understand. Can you wait a bit? "
And this time it was Dazai's heart that resigned. He could hear it greet everyone and finally stop beating.
"I- yes! I mean, yes of course. All the time you need."
"Okay" Chuuya smiled, letting go of his hand "So now I'll go inside and you go home. Text me when you arrived." He got on tiptoe again to give him a kiss on the cheek before turning and reaching the front door.
"Goodnight Dazai".
"Goodnight Chuuya."
The door closed behind the redhead and the sound of the motorbike moving away confirmed Dazai's departure.
The house was silent and the sound of his footsteps on the stairs thundered. His room had never been so beautiful and his bed so inviting. Chuuya jumped in it, lifting the tiger towards the ceiling to look at it.
He had asked Dazai some time to think , but he didn't need more than a day. Because the next day he would have lunch with Tachihara and explain everything to him. Then he would go to Dazai to be able to spend some of his lunch break with him.
Because Chuuya realized that he didn't want to be anywhere else but with that annoying boy covered in bandages and problems, but that kiss damn well.
That guy who took him to the carnival on Valentine's Day because he saw the flyer in his backpack.
That boy who had given him the sweetest and most sincere stare he had ever seen.
That boy who made the white tiger his new favorite animal.
That boy...That boy who had made him fall in love in less than five hours.