Work Text:
What a Day This Has Been
It should have been a day like any other. Just another day on the set with long hours, some joking around, and time spent with people who were not only co-workers, but also some had become friends over the course of nine long seasons. It also should have been a happy day, a day that signified the end of a season and renewed the ability to sleep in and not have practically every minute of the day accounted for.
But it wasn’t. Today was one of the worst days ever. It didn’t matter that they were the stars of this cultural phenomenon of a show. Today Dean died and he wasn’t coming back. Today was the absolute worst day of Sam Winchester’s life. And Jared’s.
No matter what, Jared hoped he could hold it together. He was someone who always had a happy-go-lucky demeanor on the set, but this was going to be intense. He was prepared as he was going to the set, he noticed that everyone was running around working, but they all did so with their eyes down, not making eye contact with anyone. Yeah, this wasn't going to be an easy scene.
When the scene ended, the only sound was a small and quiet “Cut,” from Tom, the director. There weren’t many dry eyes and everyone remained frozen until Jared choked out a gut-wrenching sob and Jensen clapped him on the back and pulled him in just a little tighter.
Then there was the explosion. The crew and various cast members erupted with jubilation, applauding wildly and whooping all around, yelling congratulations to everyone for a job well done.
Still wrapped around Jared, Jensen whispered, “Hey, you ok, buddy?”
Jared sniffled and nodded, still not saying anything. He gave Jensen one more squeeze and took one step back, his head still hanging low.
Jensen ducked down to try to catch Jared’s eyes. “You sure? I think my other shoulder is still pretty dry if you need to wipe off some more snot.”
Jared gave him a small weak and watery smile without looking at Jensen. “I just… I need a minute to…” then he turned and walked away without finishing his thought.
Jensen watched him go, while he smiled and shook hands and accepted tentative congratulatory hugs since he was still covered in fake blood. He took everyone’s comments graciously, but he was itching to get away from everyone. There were other things he needed to do: scrape some of this crap off his face and go see Jared. Right. The fuck. Now.
*
Jared was sunk into the couch of his trailer, hunched in on himself, trying to become as small as possible. As small as he was feeling at this moment, which meant next to non-existent.
He died. Dean died. And Sam couldn’t save him. All they did was work for and save each other and Sam couldn’t save him. Not this time. One of the strongest angels around went medieval on Dean’s ass and then drove the angel blade through him. There was no way around this one.
For just the briefest moment between sniffles, Jared had a millisecond moment of clarity where he thought Wow. Character bleed much? But then the grief of Dean’s death washed over him again and the tears started falling anew.
He didn’t even hear the door when it opened. But he felt it when Jensen’s hands landed on his shoulders.
“Jay… Hey, Jay,” he said quietly. “It’s ok, man.”
Jared looked up to see Jensen kneeling on the floor in front of him, sitting back on his haunches. “How?”
Jensen’s eyebrows knitted together. “How what?”
Jared unfolded a bit more. “How did you get through this? All this season. I’m in a million pieces here. You’ve been changing all throughout the season. How did you do it and stay sane?”
Jensen shook his head. “I can’t lie to you, Jay. This season was tough. It took more out of me than just about anything we’ve done before. It’s a hard headspace to be in, man. You know that.” Jared nodded sadly. “But you know what helped? Knowing that you’re going through it with me.”
Jared smiled slightly. Jensen straightened up on his knees and shuffled a bit closer to the couch.
“You know what else?” He took Jared’s face in his hands. “I’m right here. I’m real and I’m right here. Right in front of you.” He kissed Jared’s lips lightly. “I’m not going anywhere.”
Jared pulled Jensen to him, wrapped his arms around him, and buried his face in Jensen’s right shoulder. He gave one more sniffle.
“Dude. You are totally wiping your snot on my shoulder right now, aren’t you?”
Jared smiled. “You said you still had one dry one.” Then, seriously, “This was a tough one, Jen.”
“I know. But we’re here right now. We’ll make it through. You and me.”
“Because you’re not going anywhere.”
“Because I’m not going anywhere,” Jensen agreed.
Jared kissed his neck. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome,” Jensen murmured. “Are you feeling better?”
Jared still held onto him tightly. “Yeah. Because you’re here. And I’m here.”
Jensen pulled back a little and looked in Jared’s eyes. “You know who else is here?” Jared looked around the small space quickly and raised is eyebrows in question. “No one,” Jensen told him with a smirk and a wicked gleam in his eye.
“You know who else isn’t going anywhere?” he asked still smirking.
Jared was starting to catch and smiled a little. Jensen grabbed Jared’s hand and moved it down to his crotch so Jared could feel the hot, hard length growing underneath the denim of Dean’s jeans.
“I don’t think he’ll be going anywhere for awhile. At least not without a little help.”
Jared wrapped one hand around the back of Jensen’s neck to pull him closer while his other hand thumbed at Jensen’s zipper. Smiling, he said, “I can definitely help with that.”
Jensen rubbed his hands up Jared’s thighs and started working his way underneath Jared’s shirts to his warm skin. “I know you can. I know how to take care of you. And I always know how to make you feel better.”