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๐๐ฆ๐ช๐ญ๐ช๐ฏ๐จ๐ด, ๐ฑ๐ญ๐ข๐ด๐ต๐ฆ๐ณ
๐๐ข๐ฏ'๐ต ๐บ๐ฐ๐ถ ๐ซ๐ถ๐ด๐ต ๐ฎ๐ข๐ฌ๐ฆ ๐ช๐ต ๐ฎ๐ฐ๐ท๐ฆ ๐ง๐ข๐ด๐ต๐ฆ๐ณ?
๐๐ฐ๐ท๐ฆ๐ญ๐บ ๐ต๐ฐ ๐ฃ๐ฆ ๐ด๐ช๐ต๐ต๐ช๐ฏ๐จ ๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ณ๐ฆ ๐ธ๐ช๐ต๐ฉ ๐บ๐ฐ๐ถ
๐ ๐ฐ๐ถ'๐ณ๐ฆ ๐ฌ๐ช๐ฏ๐ฅ๐ข ๐ค๐ถ๐ต๐ฆ ๐ฃ๐ถ๐ต ๐ช๐ต'๐ด ๐ณ๐ข๐ช๐ฏ๐ช๐ฏ๐จ ๐ฉ๐ข๐ณ๐ฅ๐ฆ๐ณ
Oikawa wanted to run into the sun. No, not like one of those cheesy romance movies where the girl gets the guy, but he wants to burn and be burned by the sun. He figured that if he does so, he could be with Iwaizumi for the rest of their days together. The two have been together since their early high school days, finally hitching up once they got to college and accepted that they needed each other for the rest of their days. Oikawa was finally happy. He was playing volleyball as his job, something that he had wanted for as long as he remembered. Iwaizumi now works at his dream job, living out his now dream of helping athletes reach the top. All Oikawa can remember now is what went wrong? Now Oikawa is sitting in Iwaizumi's car after being picked up from practice early from him overworking himself again.
๐๐บ ๐ด๐ฉ๐ฐ๐ฆ๐ด ๐ข๐ณ๐ฆ ๐ฏ๐ฐ๐ธ ๐ง๐ถ๐ญ๐ญ ๐ฐ๐ง ๐ธ๐ข๐ต๐ฆ๐ณ
๐๐ฐ๐ท๐ฆ๐ญ๐บ ๐ต๐ฐ ๐ฃ๐ฆ ๐ณ๐ข๐ช๐ฏ๐ฆ๐ฅ ๐ฐ๐ฏ ๐ธ๐ช๐ต๐ฉ ๐บ๐ฐ๐ถ
๐๐ต'๐ด ๐ฌ๐ช๐ฏ๐ฅ๐ข ๐ค๐ถ๐ต๐ฆ ๐ฃ๐ถ๐ต ๐ช๐ต'๐ด ๐ด๐ฐ ๐ด๐ฉ๐ฐ๐ณ๐ต
Why was Oikawa being berated by Iwaizumi you may ask? Well, this is his third overexertion where he has had to go home that work, and its only Wednesday. He knew that Iwa meant well, he knew he truly did, but Oikawa was so exhausted, and even with being yelled at, his eyes began to drop-
"Oikawa, are you even listening to me" Iwa asked, his tone getting more irritated. "I mean c'mon, I dropped everything to come and pick you up again only for you to ignore me and fall asleep, god you are so hopeless 'kawa. Everyone is worried about you and what do you do? You ignore the world and stay in your own little bubble, pretending like nothing is wrong. Well guess what Tooru, you are fucked. You are seriously messed up right now and I don't know how to fix you or what I can do anymore" Iwaizumi said. Oikawa looked into the brown sea of anger to try and understand still what is happening. His earing are ringing, he can't hear anything. The words he wanted to say are lost in his mind as everything comes and floods his brain all at once.
๐๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ฏ ๐บ๐ฐ๐ถ'๐ณ๐ฆ ๐ฅ๐ณ๐ช๐ท๐ช๐ฏ๐จ ๐ฎ๐ฆ ๐ฉ๐ฐ๐ฎ๐ฆ
๐๐ฏ๐ฅ ๐ ๐ฅ๐ฐ๐ฏ'๐ต ๐ธ๐ข๐ฏ๐ฏ๐ข ๐ญ๐ฆ๐ข๐ท๐ฆ
๐๐ถ๐ต ๐ ๐ฉ๐ข๐ท๐ฆ ๐ต๐ฐ ๐จ๐ฐ
Oikawa says nothing as he sits in Iwaizumi's car, a 2022 Mercedes with black interior. The leather reminds him of the dark, midnight colored hair that his boyfriend has, deep and mysterious but yet safe. His ears are still ringing and now his feet have gone numb as the panic inside him continues to rise. "Are you even going to say anything to me Tooru" Iwaizumi asks. Tooru takes a couple of deep breaths before trying to say what is on his mind "There's no fixing me Iwa, so accept that or don't. Either way, the only way to help is to finally let me go. Face it Iwaizumi, we have been arguing so much more lately, what if we weren't meant to be after all?" Oikawa says, completely breathless after. His anxiety is getting even worse, god damn it, and he knows there is no mending the brokenness that is in their relationship.
๐ ๐ฐ๐ถ ๐ฌ๐ช๐ด๐ด ๐ฎ๐ฆ ๐ช๐ฏ ๐บ๐ฐ๐ถ๐ณ ๐ค๐ข๐ณ
๐๐ฏ๐ฅ ๐ช๐ต ๐ง๐ฆ๐ฆ๐ญ๐ด ๐ญ๐ช๐ฌ๐ฆ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐ด๐ต๐ข๐ณ๐ต ๐ฐ๐ง ๐ข ๐ฎ๐ฐ๐ท๐ช๐ฆ ๐'๐ท๐ฆ ๐ด๐ฆ๐ฆ๐ฏ ๐ฃ๐ฆ๐ง๐ฐ๐ณ๐ฆ
๐๐ฆ๐ง๐ฐ๐ณ๐ฆ
The kiss snapped Oikawa out of his head, and he know exactly why he did it. The distraction use to be a warm welcome to his lips, reminding him that he was human. Now, it only reminds him of the pain and angst of their relationship. I mean, Oikawa should be able to ride in his new boyfriend's Mercedes without remembering Iwaizumi, right? Iwaizumi died in that car on the way home from picking stupid Oikawa up from practice that night, Oikawa barely lived himself. He had to quit volleyball, as his knees were beyond fixable at that point. Oikawa sobbed and sobbed for Iwaizumi, feeling as though him getting chased by the paparazzi was his fault. I mean, it technically was. If he wasn't so damn unstable, then none of that would have happened. Sure, Oikawa has a new boyfriend now, but nothing can replace Iwaizumi, nothing can fill that is missing from Oikawa's soul.
๐๐ฆ๐ฅ๐ด๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ฆ๐ต๐ด, ๐ฏ๐ฐ ๐ค๐ญ๐ฐ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ด
๐๐ฐ๐ถ๐ค๐ฉ ๐ฎ๐ฆ ๐ญ๐ช๐ฌ๐ฆ ๐ฏ๐ฐ๐ฃ๐ฐ๐ฅ๐บ ๐ฆ๐ญ๐ด๐ฆ ๐ฅ๐ฐ๐ฆ๐ด
๐๐ฐ๐ท๐ฆ๐ญ๐บ ๐ต๐ฐ ๐ซ๐ถ๐ด๐ต ๐ญ๐ข๐บ ๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ณ๐ฆ ๐ธ๐ช๐ต๐ฉ ๐บ๐ฐ๐ถ
๐ ๐ฐ๐ถ'๐ณ๐ฆ ๐ฌ๐ช๐ฏ๐ฅ๐ข ๐ค๐ถ๐ต๐ฆ ๐ข๐ฏ๐ฅ ๐ ๐ธ๐ฐ๐ถ๐ญ๐ฅ ๐ด๐ข๐บ ๐ข๐ญ๐ญ ๐ฐ๐ง ๐ต๐ฉ๐ช๐ด
๐๐ถ๐ต ๐ ๐ฅ๐ฐ๐ฏ'๐ต ๐ธ๐ข๐ฏ๐ฏ๐ข ๐ณ๐ถ๐ช๐ฏ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐ฎ๐ฐ๐ฎ๐ฆ๐ฏ๐ต
"Oikawa? Oikawa? Wake up hun! Its all a dream baby, please wake up." Oikawa's boyfriend was saying, loud enough to awaken the man but not to frighten him more than he already is. He couldn't breathe, he couldn't see, and god he couldn't feel his hands. His hands, he needs them to set. He needs them above anything else. Oikawa is so trapped in his head they he can't tell the difference between what was real and what his brain was making up from his panic.
๐๐ฐ๐ท๐ฆ๐ญ๐บ ๐ต๐ฐ ๐ด๐ช๐ต ๐ฃ๐ฆ๐ต๐ธ๐ฆ๐ฆ๐ฏ ๐ค๐ฐ๐ฎ๐ง๐ฐ๐ณ๐ต ๐ข๐ฏ๐ฅ ๐ค๐ฉ๐ข๐ฐ๐ด
"I can't do this, I can't live without him anymore!" Oikawa yelled, breathless. His boyfriend stared at him, knowing that this day would come. He helped calm down the frightened Oikawa, counting slowly and rubbing numbers into his back.
๐๐ถ๐ต ๐ช๐ต'๐ด ๐ฐ๐ท๐ฆ๐ณ
Truthfully, nobody or anything could replace the soul of Iwaizumi. He could never be forgotten, no one else could be his number one. "C'mon, I'll drive you back to your place, I know you like to be alone after these attacks" his boyfriend says. Oikawa couldn't ask for a better replacement boyfriend to Iwaizumi, I mean he knew Iwa would want him to move on, but truthfully when would Oikawa be ready?
๐๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ฏ ๐บ๐ฐ๐ถ'๐ณ๐ฆ ๐ฅ๐ณ๐ช๐ท๐ช๐ฏ๐จ ๐ฎ๐ฆ ๐ฉ๐ฐ๐ฎ๐ฆ
๐๐ฏ๐ฅ ๐ช๐ต ๐ฌ๐ช๐ฏ๐ฅ๐ข ๐ค๐ฐ๐ฎ๐ฆ๐ด ๐ฐ๐ถ๐ต ๐ข๐ด ๐ ๐จ๐ฆ๐ต ๐ถ๐ฑ ๐ต๐ฐ ๐จ๐ฐ
Oikawa finally arrives back to his refuge, his safe space. All he can remember is the night of Iwaizumi's death, the song that was playing on the radio replaying everyday like a sick, twisted lullaby.
๐ ๐ฐ๐ถ ๐ฌ๐ช๐ด๐ด ๐ฎ๐ฆ ๐ช๐ฏ ๐บ๐ฐ๐ถ๐ณ ๐ค๐ข๐ณ
๐๐ฏ๐ฅ ๐ช๐ต ๐ง๐ฆ๐ฆ๐ญ๐ด ๐ญ๐ช๐ฌ๐ฆ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐ด๐ต๐ข๐ณ๐ต ๐ฐ๐ง ๐ข ๐ฎ๐ฐ๐ท๐ช๐ฆ ๐'๐ท๐ฆ ๐ด๐ฆ๐ฆ๐ฏ ๐ฃ๐ฆ๐ง๐ฐ๐ณ๐ฆ
Iwaizumi was dead, and nothing can change that.
๐๐ถ๐ต ๐ช๐ต'๐ด ๐ฏ๐ฐ๐ต ๐ณ๐ฆ๐ข๐ญ
๐๐ฏ๐ฅ ๐บ๐ฐ๐ถ ๐ฅ๐ฐ๐ฏ'๐ต ๐ฆ๐น๐ช๐ด๐ต
๐๐ฏ๐ฅ ๐ ๐ค๐ข๐ฏ'๐ต ๐ณ๐ฆ๐ค๐ข๐ญ๐ญ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐ญ๐ข๐ด๐ต ๐ต๐ช๐ฎ๐ฆ ๐ ๐ธ๐ข๐ด ๐ฌ๐ช๐ด๐ด๐ฆ๐ฅ
๐๐ต ๐ฉ๐ช๐ต๐ด ๐ฎ๐ฆ ๐ช๐ฏ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐ค๐ข๐ณ
๐๐ฏ๐ฅ ๐ช๐ต ๐ง๐ฆ๐ฆ๐ญ๐ด ๐ญ๐ช๐ฌ๐ฆ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐ฆ๐ฏ๐ฅ ๐ฐ๐ง ๐ข ๐ฎ๐ฐ๐ท๐ช๐ฆ ๐'๐ท๐ฆ ๐ด๐ฆ๐ฆ๐ฏ ๐ฃ๐ฆ๐ง๐ฐ๐ณ๐ฆ
๐๐ฆ๐ง๐ฐ๐ณ๐ฆ.