Work Text:
In the end, there no longer were any stories.
The authors have long perished now.
Nobody remained to string together words; to substantiate any existence, to form any tales.
Unfinished.
Was that the ultimate fate of this world?
Remaining without name, void of purpose, and ultimately hollow?
Was there no one to accept the pen and write that continuation?
A conclusion lost, like paradise.
Had divinity forsaken this place as well?
Or perhaps...
Maybe there were no gods in the first place.
Maybe...there were no authors.
No creators.
Nothing.
Yet this was something.
Something is all it could be. All it had to be.
Something created out of nothing, yes there were stories like that.
Was this one of them?
Nonsense.
If it is believed, then it is so.
False stories, and of course, the existence of the divine.
How utterly laughable.
What point was there, to blame divinity?
Life was laissez-faire.
If there were no longer any stories...
Then all that had to be done was simple.
Write.
Write.
Write. Write. Write. Write. Write. Write. Write. Write. Write. Write. Write. Write. Write. Write. Write. Write. Write. Write. Write. Write. Write. Write. Write. Write. Write. Write. Write. Write. Write. Write. Write. Write. Write. Write. Write. Write. Write. Write. Write. Write. Write. Write. Write. Write. Write. Write. Write. Write. Write. Write. Write. Write. Write. Write. Write. Write. Write. Write. Write. Write. Write. Write. Write. Write. Write. Write. Write. Write. Write. Write.
Without regard for anyone, for anything,
just write.
---
Mafuyu woke up.
Her eyes faced the wall.
Spotless, as ever.
Was there anything to be done for school? Mm. No, she was already a week ahead in work. Then what about cram school? No. It closed for the coming days due to a pipage leak.
So was there absolutely nothing to do?
“...”
Mafuyu was just about ready to close her eyes again, ignoring the rays of light slipping into her room from the window. She was well on her way to fall unconscious once more, until a voice boomed from the other side of the door, from beneath the stairs.
“Mafuyu! Are you going to sleep all morning? Breakfast is ready!” her mother shouted from the ground floor.
Unfortunate.
Good girl mode.
“I’m awake! I’ll be downstairs soon!”
“Alright! Don’t keep me waiting!”
Mafuyu sighed.
Was sleeping whenever she wanted to also something in their control? Never mind. Mafuyu grabbed the phone at the side of her pillow to check the time. Nearing 10AM. Was that early? Mizuki and Ena constantly mentioned sleeping in until afternoon on days off.
Then again, their parents seem a little disconnected compared to…
Huh? That’s strange.
Why did she feel like she lost?
“Bitter.”
Like chocolate.
Even though the taste of chocolate only lived in her distant memories.
Mafuyu touched her tongue.
“...”
No need to overthink it. Surely, one day...
There were other matters to attend to, like being forced to start the day. Mafuyu went through the motions of her morning routine, detached from the act of actually living as ever. Walking through the room filled with furniture her parents bought her, grabbing the first clothes she saw out of her closet (which her parents bought her), washing up and brushing her teeth with toothpaste her parents bought her, and going down to the living room where the only things of herself were the photos, if those counted, and the numerous diplomas and certificates.
The amount of the latter exceeded the number of photos. Even took more space. Almost as if it was more important...
Well, not like Mafuyu knew anything about interior design.
“Good morning, Mafuyu.”
“Good morning. Sleep well?” her mom merely nodded in response, saying nothing of the like in return.
“Go eat your breakfast, it’s there on the table.”
Mafuyu looked at the plate. A piece of slightly burnt toast topped with fried eggs, sunny side up. Finalized with some chives. A small bowl of salad on the side, hastily thrown together. Don’t ask any questions. Mafuyu bit into the toast, tasting absolutely nothing, as usual. The only thing she was able to make out was the crunchy texture of the toast, devoid of taste. The eggs were overcooked, she noticed, but it was hardly anything to complain about. Because there literally was nothing to complain about. Like always, it was just...
A whole load of nothing.
All texture, no substance.
As if she was looking into a mirror—
Mafuyu stared at her distorted reflection staring back at her from the cutlery. Was this the abyss?
“Is it any good?” her mother asked from the kitchen, preparing tea.
“Yep, totally. Thanks, mom!”
Mafuyu was left with a bad taste in her mouth as she continued eating.
Utterly disgusting.
There was no other way to describe it.
The cup of tea did nothing to wash it away, and she figured that neither an extensive tooth brushing session, nor the strongest mouthwash would be capable of anything either.
A lingering sensation, huh?
Of course, being able to feel positive things also invites you to be absolutely decimated by negative things.
And life is just so wonderful, as the negativity was endless and would drown out the competition.
If you weren’t careful, you’d even succumb to that darkness. Sinking deeper, deeper, deeper, deeper, deeper, deeper, deeper, deeper, deeper, deeper, deeper, deeper, deeper, deeper, deeper, deeper, deeper, deeper, deeper, deeper, deeper, deeper, deeper, deeper, deeper, deeper, deeper, deeper, deeper, deeper, deeper, deeper, deeper, deeper, deeper, deeper, deeper, deeper, deeper, deeper, deeper, deeper, deeper, deeper, deeper, deeper, deeper, deeper, deeper, deeper, deeper, deeper, deeper, deeper, deeper, deeper, deeper, deeper, deeper, deeper, deeper, deeper, deeper, deeper, deeper, deeper, deeper, deeper, deeper, deeper, deeper, deeper, deeper, deeper, deeper, deeper, deeper, deeper, deeper, deeper, deeper, deeper, deeper, deeper, deeper, deeper, deeper, deeper, deeper, deeper, deeper, deeper, deeper, deeper, deeper, deeper, deeper, deeper, deeper, deeper, deeper, deeper, deeper, deeper, deeper, deeper, deeper, deeper, deeper, deeper, deeper, deeper, deeper, deeper, deeper, deeper, deeper, deeper, deeper, deeper, deeper, deeper, deeper, deeper, deeper, deeper, deeper, deeper, deeper, deeper, deeper, deeper, deeper, deeper, deeper, deeper, deeper, deeper—oh deep-sea girl, where were you now?
“Mafuyu, you aren’t keeping any secrets from me, right?” her mother asked with a smile.
Like the Sekai?
Like the group?
Like the truth behind Mafuyu Asahina?
Hesitance. Hesitance. Hesitance.
Answer now.
Answer now.
Answer.
Just answer it clearly.
“Huh? Of course not,” nervousness rising. “Where is this coming from all of a sudden?”
Gulp.
“Oh it’s nothing. You know the girl that lives three doors down the street? Her mother found out she was dating someone in secret!” Ms. Asahina took a sip from her cup of tea. “But of course my good girl won’t lie to me, right?”
“Never.”
Lie.
Lie.
Lie.
Lie.
Lie.
Lie.
Lie.
Both what she just said...
...and her existence.
Nothing but deception.
Smoke and mirrors.
And when the smoke clears up?
What then, Mafuyu Asahina? Good girl, Mafuyu Asahina? Honor student, Mafuyu Asahina? Reliable upperclassman, Mafuyu Asahina?
Will you own up to it then? The falsities, pretense, and lip-service?
Where will you be then, miss failure?
“Mafuyu, remember, no relationships until after you get a job as a doctor.”
She heard that line before.
What was the deflection again?
“Ah, it’s not like I’m thinking about that stuff right now, mom...”
“Good! My Mafuyu won’t do anything to betray my trust...”
Good girl.
Good girl.
Good girl.
“Good” girl.
Mafuyu’s breathing was growing unsteady, almost to the point where she couldn’t hide it anymore. She sharply rose from her chair, having finished drinking the tea centuries ago.
“Eh, Mafuyu? Where are you going?”
Just away from here.
Away from this table.
Away from this living room.
Away from this house.
Away.
Away.
Away.
Home-field advantage?
Utter nonsense.
“Just going up to my room, I thought I’d read up on next week’s material for cram school.”
“Ah, how diligent! Studying on a day off...work hard, okay?” Ms. Asahina seemed impressed.
“I will mom!”
Mafuyu stepped away from the table.
Every step was heavy and slow.
At least, it seemed that way.
Step.
Step.
Just step.
Forwards.
Don’t fall.
Don’t stumble.
Don’t run.
Don’t go too slow.
Don’t let the light of truth reach you.
Don’t drop your cover.
“Oh Mafuyu?” her mother asked from the kitchen as Mafuyu reached for the door.
Mafuyu froze, tensing all over.
It was over.
The end.
Curtain call.
She saw through her lies.
Climax.
Epilogue.
Were the credits rolling?
“Yes, mom?”
“I’ll bring you some snacks later, okay?”
“Mm. Thank you.”
Exit.
Scene change.
Mafuyu’s bedroom, approaching noon.
The curtains were opened. The birds were audible.
And the girl of winter sat at her desk, books opened but not reading, for it all existed only to aid her lie of studying.
She felt awful.
Her breathing hadn’t calmed down yet.
What was she supposed to do? Breathing exercises? No one in Niigo would be online at this time. Sekai? No. No reason to concern Miku over this, or any of them for that matter. Not like Luka and Meiko seemed like the types to be concerned.
She grabbed her phone regardless and typed in breathing exercises in her web-browser.
In and out.
Steady rhythm.
Breathe in through the nose and exhale through the mouth.
Repeat it again and again.
Repetition was everything.
School material and living.
By repeating it constantly. By going through the motions again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again...
Anyone can master anything.
Breathing, living, lying.
It would all become natural.
Indiscernible from the real thing.
The fake’s pride.
A false story.
Would that be the subtitle of her life’s tale?
Why were the birds so loud?
Why were the notes in her notebook so messy?
Why did she have so many study guides?
Mafuyu clutched her head.
She knew she was on a timer.
If she didn’t calm down, and her mom saw her...
Then it would all be over.
This time, for real.
A false story, ended.
She felt like screaming.
But she didn’t know how to.
Her vocal cords probably forgot.
The buzzing in her head wouldn’t stop.
The rhythm was broken now.
So loud. So loud. So loud. So loud. So loud. So loud. So loud. So loud. So loud. So loud. So loud. So loud. So loud. So loud. So loud. So loud. So loud. So loud. So loud. So loud. So loud. So loud. So loud. So loud. So loud. So loud. So loud. So loud. So loud. So loud. So loud. So loud. So loud. So loud. So loud. So loud. So loud. So loud. So loud. So loud. So loud. So loud. So loud. So loud. So loud. So loud. So loud. So loud. So loud. So loud. So loud. So loud. So loud. So loud. So loud. So loud. So loud. So loud.
The ringing in her ears wouldn’t end. Would it end here? Would it end? Would it end? Would it end? Would it end?
Mafuyu knew that even if it did, it wouldn’t end. Her life would go on, with or without the lies. Tomorrow would come regardless, and it was up to her to wake up or else.
Or else.
Impulsively she grabbed her earbuds and played the first song she saw.
Resonance.
Reaching all throughout her body.
Whether it was enough to collapse a bridge was a different question, but…
Mafuyu felt herself calming down a little.
Only a little.
It wasn’t enough to save her.
Kanade was still on that.
The power of music…
Rationality and logic returned to Mafuyu.
Was what her mother said to her that upsetting?
Mafuyu didn’t know much, but she was aware of the fact that she was keeping up an act. All improvised. It would be so much easier if there was a script, but life wasn’t written out. No one would guide her, she herself had to walk out of the maze. She knew that one day, the curtain would be cut. It was only a matter of time. So it’s not like she wishes for things to remain as they are...
It just...
It must wait on Kanade.
On Niigo.
Once she has been saved…then the curtains would fall.
She would cut them herself.
Mizuki probably had appropriate scissors for that.
So until then...
Until then...
The stage would remain alive.
“Stage, huh?” she mumbled to herself.
Her thoughts wandered to her almost obnoxiously loud pink-haired—wait, this description could fit Mizuki.
Emu Otori.
And her whatever stage.
Though Mizuki would probably accept going on stage for something they liked doing.
They’re both excitable...
Would they get along?
Maybe instead of ‘studying’ she could try to arrange some makeshift meeting between her two pink...friends? Was Otori-san her friend? Otori-san probably considered everyone she knew a friend...
Truly incomprehensible.
A knock on the door. Mother with snacks. Mafuyu took out her earbuds and shifted towards the opening door.
“Here’s the snacks I promised.”
“Thank you, mom.”
“Making good progress?”
“Yes.”
Mafuyu lied as naturally as she breathed.
“Okay, good. Keep it up,” and with that, she left.
That’s how easy it should be.
She put one of the cookies in her mouth while musing about a potential meeting between the pink persons. It was absolutely tasteless, but she hardly found it in herself to care. Would they both have time today? Everyone had a day off, and Mizuki didn’t have their part-time job today, Mafuyu recalled. Mizuki would probably like Emu, and she still owes the fashionista for teaching Miku and the other Sekai residents about things she didn’t understand herself...
No harm in asking...?
Mafuyu shot Mizuki a text.
<Would you like to meet that kouhai I talked about before? The hyperactive one?>
They responded immediately.
<totally! i was just getting bored since enanan totally canceled on me…>
<That is rough.>
<So uptight~ but yeah I’m down www>
<just tell me when and where and i’ll be there>
That was Mizuki down. Now for...
...
...ah?
Mafuyu was scrolling through her contacts list while sipping on the cup of tea her mother brought.
No pink underclassman to be found.
That was weird, she recalled one afternoon at school where the underclassman in question gave her a note with her contact information if she ever wanted to ‘subscribe to the Emu Otori daily jokes’. Mafuyu grabbed her school bag and rummaged through it.
“Ah, found it.”
Mafuyu pulled out a note with pink writing and a small piece of hard candy in a red wrapper, both given to her by the same person.
She totally forgot about it.
It’s probably fine to eat it.
She quickly put the number in her contacts and sent the girl a message.
Additionally, she unwrapped the piece of candy, expecting it to just be a ball of nothing.
Now we wait, she thought to herself, as she popped the piece of candy into her mouth.
“...!”
Her mouth froze.
A strong taste of what Mafuyu remembered as ‘strawberry’ shot throughout and covered her tongue.
Sense...
Negative feelings were in abundance.
But that didn’t mean positive sensations were nonexistent.
Mafuyu didn’t know how to process the moment.
And the longer she took to think, the candy was growing smaller; dissolving on the top of her tongue.
Think.
Think.
Think.
Think of something!
Make it last. Make it last. Make it last. Make it last. Make it last. Make it last. Make it last. Make it last!
Somehow, someway...eternalize this moment...
Mafuyu looked down into her notebook, seeing the notes on some unimportant subject. She used a similar one for writing lyrics.
Lyrics...?
---
In front of a café in the middle of the city, Mafuyu and Mizuki stood waiting for the final member of their planned mismatched meeting.
“So what were you doing on this day off before this, Mafuyu?” Mizuki asked, while sipping on a cup of iced coffee they brought from home.
“Writing.”
“Like, lyrics? For Niigo? We’re still waiting on a new demo from K, right?”
“Yeah, something like that.”
“Huuuuh…” Mizuki wondered while they took another sip. “Man, this iced coffee is good! Want a sip?” they asked, shoving the cup with straw into the lyricist’s face.
...
It couldn’t hurt to try.
“Well, did you like that?”
“I don’t know.”
“Whaaaaat...? I guess that’s like you though. Well, more for me, right?” Mizuki said happily.
The sensation of the candy disappeared from Mafuyu’s tongue a long time ago. It ended as quickly and suddenly as it had first arrived. Similarly, the story of Mafuyu Asahina being able to taste something again began and ended in the same fashion. But it was alright. It was fine. This ending wasn’t to be lamented. Mafuyu merely returned to her normal, her standard.
Her status quo.
But it lived on.
In her lyric-writing notebook, on the last page, now stood a web of words. It would appear absolutely nonsensical to almost everyone, but for the author...
It would surely serve as a continuation of the end.
Mafuyu smiled lightly, unnoticed by the world, as a wonderhoy was heard in the distance.