Chapter Text
Katsuki Bakugou had always been the type of person to get everything he wanted. He had a strong quirk, unbeatable confidence, and as Aizawa had once put it, “overwhelming tenacity”. Sure, people told him no all the time. But that never stopped Bakugou from fighting for what he wanted and getting it in the end. This time though, things were different. This time, what Bakugou wanted wasn’t something he could just take by force.
“I think we need to take a break,” Kirishima had told him, pained but certain as he laid back on the grass. The sun was out, there was a gentle breeze, and Bakugou wanted to blow the peaceful day to hell.
“A break,” Bakugou echoed, propped up on his elbows as he looked to the clear blue sky. “Like a breakup.”
Kirishima didn’t reply right away. When he did, he had his eyes closed. “I don’t think either of us really gets what being boyfriends means right now,” he admitted. “And I want to figure that out before we go any further.”
Bakugou had the self-confidence to know Kirishima wasn’t calling him a bad boyfriend. The unspoken “I want to figure out what you mean to me” was clear in Kirishima’s expression. It meant there was still hope, that this was just a pause, that Kirishima really was doing this for their benefit.
That didn’t make it ache less.
They’d both known it was coming. Both of them had been passionate right from the start, building up a relationship as best friends and then partners and then boyfriends, barely slowing down to catch a breath between the lines. Every inch of their relationship was as explosive as Bakugou’s quirk, as sturdy as Kirishima’s hardening. They were Bakugou and Kirishima, Eijirou and Katsuki. Unstoppable force and immovable object. Sure, they had their flaws, but they were made for each other.
But even puzzle pieces come apart inside the box, and they needed time apart, too. Both of them. They made each other better, but they’d never stopped to consider if other people could do the same. Maintaining a relationship while training to be a hero wasn’t always easy either, especially in Class 1-A, where it seemed like every other Tuesday there was some sort of crisis. Slapping a label like that on what they had without thinking it through all the way had been a mistake on both of their parts, and Bakugou knew that.
So they took a break from being boyfriends. They were still Bakugou and Kirishima, still best friends and partners in crime hero-ing, but without the obvious romance. But Bakugou still loved him, and it ached every time he got the urge to hold Kirishima’s hand.
The worst part was knowing that Kirishima had other options. Options Bakugou could never have, because even their friends didn’t dare to get that close. He wanted to believe Kirishima wouldn’t do that, wanted to trust that Kirishima meant what he didn’t say about wanting to be better for each other, but his brain kept insisting on the opposite. He was just trying not to make himself feel guilty. He’s never going to talk to you again, you know. Why would he want to be with you when he could have anyone else?
It didn’t help that Kirishima had started hanging out with Kaminari and Shinsou more often. Sure, Sparky and Eye Bags were their own weird thing Bakugou didn’t quite get, but he wouldn’t have put it past any of them to secretly be into one another. There were some days when it seemed like everyone in Class 1-A liked each other. Everyone except Bakugou.
He tried to act like it didn’t bother him, feeling left out and alone in a room full of his peers. Why would he be bothered? It wasn’t like everyone saw him as some kind of monster, it wasn’t like they were terrified of him. It wasn’t like he’d kept everyone from getting too close, all except stupid Kirishima.
So yeah, why would he be bothered? He kept doing everything like he usually would, heading for the kitchen after class to get a snack before he got started on homework. He hadn’t meant to overhear their conversation.
“I’m surprised he’s taken it this well,” Kaminari’s voice said, and Bakugou froze. He was still out of sight, but if he took another step forward, they’d be able to see him through the doorframe. “I really thought he’d try to blow you up for even suggesting a break. I was scared we’d have to scrape your brains off the sidewalk.”
“Hey, give him a little more credit,” Kirishima replied, and Bakugou could almost hear the wince in his voice. “I think he knew we needed it. We’d been getting a little more distant lately, things had been busy, and… I don’t know, I just don’t think we were ready for that label. We kind of rushed into everything, you know? Not that I regret it, obviously I don’t, but—” He cut himself off. Bakugou wished he’d just finish the damn sentence. But what, Kirishima?
“You need time to decide if he’s what you want, is that it?” Shinsou asked, sounding completely indifferent to the answer.
“No, no — nothing like that,” Kirishima insisted. Bakugou barely resisted the urge to step forward, if only to see the look on Kirishima’s face. Was he about to say everything Bakugou was terrified to hear? “I just… I don’t know. I can’t explain it.”
“Well, that’s understandable. Our Kacchan really isn’t the most easily-explainable person out there,” Kaminari joked. Our Kacchan. Bullshit.
He couldn’t take it anymore. Bakugou didn’t want to hear Kirishima openly reject him, not when they were supposed to still be friends. He backed up a couple of steps to seem more natural, then walked into the kitchen like he’d just arrived and heard nothing.
“The fuck are you in here for?” he muttered, addressing the group but not looking at any of them as he opened the fridge, then the pantry, then the cupboards. Damn it, nothing seemed appetizing.
“Nothing much,” Kaminari said, perfectly casual. Like he hadn’t just been insulting him behind his back. “Maybe we were just waiting to see your cheerful smile! You always stop at the kitchen before you go upstairs, did you know that? Or was it a subconscious routine?”
Bakugou wanted to be surprised that Kaminari noticed something like that, but he knew better than to underestimate Kaminari’s observation skills. Bakugou liked to blame it on his love for gossip. Mina was the same way. “Stalker,” he said instead, going back to the fridge and settling for an apple. He’d have to do a store run later and stock up on his preferred snacks.
“Hey, are we still good to study tomorrow?” Kirishima asked, and Bakugou finally looked up, running his apple under the water to clean it off and then taking a bite. Kirishima looked a little nervous. Bakugou thought about blasting his face off. Why wouldn’t Kirishima just man up and admit he didn’t like him anymore? Why all the dodging, why the faux interest in spending time together?
Bakugou swallowed the bite of apple and wiped his lips on the back of his hand. “Yeah, whatever,” he said, looking away from Kirishima again and heading back out of the kitchen. He needed to get to the bottom of all this anyways. What better way to do it than go straight to the source, call Kirishima on his bullshit, and get it over with?
As he walked away, he overheard Shinsou’s voice. “Did he seem more upset than usual?”
“Yeah,” Kirishima said, voice even fainter. Bakugou slowed down, but didn’t stop. “I think he hates me.”
And if Kirishima hated him, too, then why did he sound so damn sad ?