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Seungmin sat in the corner of the room, curled in a tight ball with a blanket suction cupped to his body. Dressed in a loose graphic tee and sweatpants, his knees were drawn to his chest and he used his fists to grip the fluffy puppy blanket tight around his body. His feet were covered in fuzzy blue and white striped socks, the appendages stuffed into the crevices of the couch. A pair of noise canceling headphones sat snug on the brunette's head, a pleasant white noise echoing throughout his ears to numb out the overwhelming commotion within the room. Despite only hearing muffled versions of the conversations, he couldn’t help but smile and let out giggles when he could catch small snippets of whatever words were being bounced around the room.
With a blank mind, Seungmin’s thoughts drifted as he mentally went over this week's schedules. Checkmarks and small notes were written in the air beside each bullet point as he quietly mumbled to himself. The rest of his day was free, so were the other members, explaining the hazy chaos unfolding around him. There was a group dance practice tomorrow for a few hours and two different photo shoots, with a one hour break in between the practice and shoots. While the time frame for the photo shoots were not shared, Seungmin had no doubt that they would go on late into the night. Even though it was irritating for Seungmin not to have the exact times within his schedule, he tried not to let it bother him too much, as tomorrow was the groups busiest day for the week. Considering it was only Monday, it left a small sense of joy within him.
His thoughts were shattered as a body softly sat next to him on the couch, keeping a distance between the two as Seungmin was known to panic when undisclosed physical contact was made. He blinked and turned his head, smiling at Jeongin tucking his legs under himself on the cushion to the left of the swaddled boy. Slightly uncoiling his body, Seungmin turned to face the maknae and faintly tapped his headphones, informing the boy of his reduced hearing. With a smile in return, Jeongin grabbed his phone from his pocket and opened what Seungmin could only assume was his notes app before his fingers began to move erratically across the screen. Seconds passed by before a phone was handed to him, the brightness reduced to not overwhelm the boy: 'wanna come to my room to escape the noise? Or are you comfy here?'
Reading over the question plastered on the phone, Seungmin unconsciously popped his lips, a faint noise only heard by the two males on the couch. He had planned to hang out with all the members until he would retire to his room around 11pm to be alone, but decided Jeongin was worth the change in schedule, even though it did cause an unwanted energy to surge throughout his body, fleeing in the form of Seungmin cracking each one of his fingers. Deciding to take up the offer, he turned in Jeongin’s general direction and nodded his head. Jeongin smiled as he moved over on the couch more, giving Seungmin space as he uncurled himself and folded his blanket to leave it on the arm of the sofa. In a studious trance, Jeongin watched the boy grab a pillow he placed on the floor and rested it against the blanket on the couch. Turning off his noise canceling headphones, Seungmin tucked them into their own bag and shot off to Jeongin’s room, wanting to escape the loud conversations before it bothered him.
Jeongin made eye contact with Chan sat at the kitchen table and nodded off to his room, signaling that’s where Seungmin and he will be. With a smile and wave from his hyung, Jeongin turned and walked off to his room, finding Seungmin getting himself comfortable on the other's bed.
After entering the room, Seungmin went on autopilot, making himself more appropriate for a bedroom setting. Setting his headphones down on the maknae’s dresser, he bent down and pulled off his socks, making sure his feet were planted on the wooly rug first. Tying the socks together, Seungmin tossed his socks to land near his headphones on the dresser and sat on the edge of the rug near the boys bed. Jeongin watched in a fond silence as Seungmin reached under his bed, careful to not disconnect his body from the rug and grabbed a bag, pulling out an oversized sweater and gym shorts. Jeongin’s, to be specific.
Unknown to every member, Seungmin had made an overnight bag and hid it in each of the member’s room, going to the extent of sneaking into Hyunjin’s and 3RACHA’s dorm to deposit his special Seungmin-only goody bag. Each bag was made with the members in mind, filled to the brim with items to bring Seungmin comfort depending on who he decided to visit. Felix’s had plushies and slippers, Minho’s was stuffed with a cat blanket and puffy stickers, Jeongin’s had oversized clothing items and Marvel socks, and so on.
Comfy and warm in the maknae’s clothing, Seungmin let out a content smile and grabbed a pillow from the bed and laid down on the rug, rubbing his face against the soft material. Jeongin entered the dorm and shut the door, making sure the click was audible to the boy on the floor who glanced at him entering the room.
“Comfortable?” Jeongin laughed, eyes crinkled and mouth stretched wide as Seungmin wildly nodded his head and snuggled the pillow he dragged to the floor. Walking over to him, Jeongin plopped down on the rug, a grunt escaping his lips as gravity took its toll on his hips.
Seungmin watched Jeongin flutter on the floor beside him, a pleased smile across his face as he watched him grab a plaid blanket and yank it to the ground, the remote for the TV clanking onto the rug beside the two boys. Wanting to be close to the other boy without too much contact, Seungmin squirmed closer to Jeongin, turning his body until the crown of his head connected with his left thigh, squeezed in a ball perpendicular to the maknae. Comfortable and content, Seungmin smacked his lips, small popping noises adding to the quiet atmosphere within the room.
With the TV playing Ferngully on low volume, Seungmin curled in the blanket Jeongin took from the bed, and the comforting warmth radiated from Jeongin’s leg, it wasn’t long before his eyes shut, even breaths leaving his slightly open mouth.
~
It was Tuesday evening and Seungmin was overwhelmed. The dance practice which was supposed to start at 8am did not begin until 8:34am, due to Jisung losing his phone and refusing to leave until he found it. Not only Seungmin, but everyone could tell it wasn’t going to be a good day for the boy as he became restless, checking his phone and watching the seconds click by. Jeongin couldn’t do anything but stand near the boy, hoping his presence would calm his nerves.
It didn’t. Calm his nerves, that is.
The disruption in the boy’s schedule threw him off, causing him to miss steps within the practice each member knew that he had got down to a T. He was tense, constantly checking the clocks within the room and his phone to check the time, not wanting to be late to the photo shoots they had today.
Jeongin knew Jisung meant no harm this morning looking for his phone, but he couldn’t help the frown on his face, acutely rolling his eyes whenever the 3RACHA member tried to look his way. The dance practice continued, all the members tense and doing everything to make sure the second youngest was comfortable. Which led to them all caving and agreeing to no thirty minute break, knowing it would make up for the late start in the boy’s mind. While exhausted, they could only smile as Seungmin’s face lit up in joy, happy his schedule was going to be back on track.
It wasn’t until the last photoshoot of the day that Seungmin broke. A malfunction occurred with his outfit causing one of the buttons to pop his jacket. With no other jacket to give, the shoot continued, irking Seungmin to the core. The button would not have bothered him before, but the knowledge of knowing one was missing when it wasn’t before made him uncomfortable. Itchy.
The tank top placed under his jacket was too tight, suffocating his torso in a way he couldn’t explain. While his top was too tight, his jeans were too baggy. The material snug on his hips and ankles, but roomy at the legs, leaving an uncomfortable draft to slide against his legs and the jeans to scratch at his inner thighs. He had to focus with each step to make sure his discomfort wasn’t shown to the staff or members, not wanting to cause trouble.
His socks were too high. They placed him in socks that rested at his calf, the team insistent that they were to be pulled all the way up despite the boy wearing pants and the socks wouldn’t be visible. This coupled with his favorite pair of boots “not matching the concept” and him unable to wear them, Seungmin was two seconds from bursting.
“Seungmin?” A staff member called, a chunky collar-like necklace resting within her hand.
“Yes?” Seungmin could only stare at the necklace, praying and hoping they wouldn’t ask to place it on h-
“They called for you to wear this to match the faux earrings in place.” Of course. With a tight smile, Seungmin gave a clipped nod and turned around, already wanting to run. He made eye contact with Jeongin across the room and pleaded with his eyes. Jeongin could only send him a helpless look and signal for Seungmin to take deep breaths.
The first touch to his neck had the boy flinching, a yelp escaping his mouth. He scratched at his neck and tugged his clothes, his senses coming to an overwhelming high. The room appeared fuzzy, he was aware of every article of clothing resting upon his skin, and the building was noisy. It was all piercing. Conversations. Laughter. Furniture. Scrapes. Coughs. Cracks. Loud, loud, loud. It was all so fucking loud. A frenzy of thoughts occurred within his mind, chest heaving erratically as panic set in. An exit. He needs the exit. Ignoring the calls of his members and the staff, Seungmin stumbled through the crowd of workers, pushing and knocking over various props as he ran towards the nearest door. Articles of clothing and accessories flew as he ran by, him frantically pulling off whatever he could to get them off of him, to stop touching his skin.
Exiting the room, he ran to the closest door and slammed it shut. With shuddering breaths, he pulled off the rest of his clothes until he only resided in his boxers and got on all fours, crawling to the corner of the room. With one problem defeated, Seungmin placed his hands over his ears, squeezing his eyes shut as he pulled his legs to his chest. Whimpers left the boy's mouth as he tucked his face into his knees, wanting nothing more than to feel comfortable in his skin. But it wasn’t working. Nothing was working.
A scream broke from the boy's chest, tears beginning to well from his eyes at how helpless he felt. Lifting his head, Seungmin desperately glanced about the room, tears now freely falling from his eyes as they took in everything they could. Rising to shaky knees, Seungmin crawled a few feet until he reached a stray shirt thrown on a chair, refusing to leave his small corner of comfort. Unsure how much it would work, the boy took the shirt and wrapped it around his head, the cloth and his hands covering his ears and somewhat muffling the frantic yelling occurring outside the door. He closed his eyes and rested his head against the wall, willing the noise to go down, but he could still hear. Hear the thunderous footsteps of people running around the compound, no doubt looking for him.
He began to lightly bang his head back against the wall, the steady thumping and mild incoming headache distracting him from his own thoughts. It wasn’t until his head began to increasingly pound that the door was thrown open, a crazed Jeongin standing in the open frame. A heavy sigh of relief was heard before he shut the door, sinking himself down to the floor across the room.
Jeongin stayed still, not wanting to upset the boy anymore than he already was. He looked around the room, noticing the boys photoshoot clothes tossed haphazardly in every direction and the various accessories laying limp in a pile near him. In his crazed state slowly decreasing, he had a clear enough mind to pull out his phone, pulling up the group chat. After a quick message about locating Seungmin and that everything would be fine, he pocketed his phone again, making sure the volume was set to silent beforehand. A whine made Jeongin’s eyes shoot up, watching as Seungmin moved from his corner of safety. He watched as Seungmin moved across the room and crawled into his lap, tucking his face into his neck and wrapping his arms around Jeongin’s neck. Seungmin let out a sigh.
“Hug me. Please.” A scratchy whisper fell onto Jeongin’s ear, his chest aching at the distraught tone in Seungmin’s voice. He carefully wrapped his arms around the boy's waist, not realizing how tense he was with his hyung missing. They both took in deep breaths, finding comfort in one another. With slow movements, Jeongin moved his hand up and untied the shirt, quite hilariously, wrapped around Seungmin’s head, and replaced it with his noise canceling headphones. A small groan of satisfaction was heard as Seungmin all but melted into Jeongin’s hold, his body becoming heavier and heavier as the time ticked on. The two sat in silence, basking in the other’s presence before the silence was broken by a hushed whisper.
“Feel better?” Jeongin’s arms were still wrapped around Seungmin, one of his hands tapping beats into his back while the other rested loosely on the other's bare knee. A nod was felt against the maknae’s chest.
“Wanna get up and change?” Seungmin shook his head no, basking in how calm and quiet his mind was. Jeongin made him feel safe, like any and every trouble that occurred within his life was nothing but a small pebble in the pavement, easy to step over and kick around. His mind wasn’t making sense of what this feeling meant, and truly Seungmin did not care to know at this time. All he cared about was squeezing himself closer to Jeongin, wanting to be wrapped around him like a cloud.
~
Seungmin felt odd. It was Friday, three days after his somewhat embarrassing breakdown at their photoshoot, and he hadn't felt right around Jeongin. The maknae hasn’t done anything wrong, and Seungmin feels bad that if he’s confronted about how he’s been acting, he won’t have an answer. He still likes Jeongin. Still enjoys hanging around the boy. Still smiles at hearing him laugh and watching his eyes squint in delight. Still adores sticking close to the boy and feeling the heat radiate off his body. It just all felt different. More warm. Fuzzy. Comfortable. He catches himself clinging closer to him, growing irritated if he can’t sit or stand next to him. He notices how he stares a little too long when the boy gets excited over a topic, happiness radiating off Jeongin as he watches with a smile. He can’t help but wonder why he cozies up next to him any chance he gets, wanting to be sharing the same clothes with him so he could feel his skin pressing against his own like a personal radiator. He couldn’t get enough of Jeongin, and it made him annoyed.
He sat in his room, laying in his bed with a thin shirt and shorts on, staring off into the quiet space of his room. He misses him. Jeongin. He misses the maknae, and he doesn’t want to know why. Not now. He just wants him here. With a quick text sent, it was only three minutes before a gentle knock was heard against his door, Jeongin’s head peeking into the room.
Seungmin flashed a wide smile, his mind and heart at ease seeing Jeongin in his room, in his space. He moved over in his bed and stretched out his arms, growing impatient as Jeongin slowly jaunted over to him. Once he was in arms reach, Seungmin gripped at the boy’s shirt and yanked, giggling at the surprise gasp that was released in the room. With no time to breathe, Seungmin immediately crawled on top of Jeongin, laying a majority of his body on top of him. Jeongin huffed out a laugh, but adjusted himself until both boys were comfortably cuddled up against one another.
Seungmin sighed in content, closing his eyes and listening to Jeongin’s slightly increased heart rate in his ear. Seungmin noticed the fresh scent emitting from him, a distinct mixture of fresh plants and something akin to home easing his way into his nose. He couldn’t help but snuggle closer to the boy, happy popping noises escaping his mouth. He felt Jeongins chest rumble with a muted laugh, and his arms squeezing tighter around Seungmin’s slim torso.
Home. Jeongin felt like home. He made Seungmin feel protected, like nothing could go wrong as long as he had him within arms reach of him. Jeongin was Seungmin’s own personal shield, and he put all of his trust into him. Maybe that’s why Seungmin felt weird around him. He hasn’t felt like anywhere was home since he became a trainee, everything he was comfortable with being ripped from under him. Perhaps that’s why Seungmin can’t help but gravitate towards Jeongin. He’s a part of his routine now, and doesn’t want that to change.
The room was still rooted in silence, but a different kind now. Two breaths intertwined now instead of one, filling the air with an untouchable feeling of solace. Seungmin’s left arm was tucked under his own side, while his right was splayed on Jeongin’s torso. His free hand was lightly scratching off the design of the younger’s shirt, humming an unnamed melody into the faded fabric. Jeongin watched in silence as the boy on the chest silently ruined his shirt, flicking the flakes off his fingers and compiling them into a small pile set off to the side of his body. Lithe fingers pinched the gathering of shavings and rolled them into a ball, absentmindedly digging his short fingernails into the ball.
Seungmin liked Jeongin. He knew this, and he was positive anyone who saw him interact with the maknae knew that as well, but they didn’t realize how deep those feelings went. Seungmin didn’t either. Not until recently, a few seconds ago. Laying here, basking in the heat of another body seemed made to fit him confused him. He wasn’t one for physical contact, shying away when one touched him without warning and cracking his knuckles as a way of self soothing whenever stylists crowded him to do his hair and makeup. He hated loud noises, always choosing the car with the quietest members on the ways to and from interviews, promotions, concerts, etc. They made him itch. Made him want to peel off his skin to rid the untouchable feeling of unease loud sounds gave him. He didn’t like people crowding his space, or touching his stuff. His room being a sanctum for him to always go back to at the end of a long day. His blanket being folded and set in the left corner of his bed. His shoes carelessly chucked off his feet but with a force that made them always land in the back corner of his room. Never hitting the wall and always landing softly in the pile of tennis shoes and slides.
Jeongin invaded every one of his senses. He always touched him, whether intentional or not. Accidentally bumping into him on the way to the bathroom or within time, flopping down on the couch and having their legs touch from hip to toe. A careful hand resting on his shoulder, or tapping on his back to ground him when Jeongin could tell the other was spiraling. Seungmin never minded Jeongin’s warmth.
Jeongin always made his presence known. He liked to vocalize when he entered a room, whether that was in the form of saying hi, giggling at something on his phone, or dragging his feet as he walked. He’d let everyone in the room know he entered, including Seungmin. He always scanned for the boy and would send a blinding smile his way when they met eyes. Seungmin waited with patient breaths for his vocalizations every time.
Jeongin had an overpowering smell. Maybe it was a scent only Seungmin noticed, but he could always tell if Jeongin was recently in a room based on smell alone. It wasn’t a smell he could describe, nor has he ever bothered to. It was just a smell that was wholly Jeongin. Fresh and soft, like a new blade of grass fighting to break through the cracks of a barren sidewalk. It was a smell that always made him smile, and his heart beat a little erratically. Seungmin wishes to be hit with the overpowering scent in every room he steps into.
Jeongin dressed nicely. He was always pleasing to look at for Seungmin, the older's brown eyes never failing to rake over the other’s outfit in appreciation. From cozy sweaters, to hoodies, to loose fitting shirts, tight jeans, baggy sweatpants, and all the way back to sleeveless shirts, Jeongin always looked good, and he made sure at least once a week to knock on Seungmin’s door and ask him if his outfit looks okay. Every week, the older could do nothing but nod as his brain went empty admiring Jeongin. Seungmin looked forward to seeing Jeongin.
It was never in public, but Jeongin enjoyed feeding Seungmin. Behind closed doors when Seungmin was feeling too overwhelmed, or when he convinced Jeongin to indulge in late night snacks with him, they only ever used one set of utensils. Jeongin would make or order a meal large enough for the both of them, and only grab one pair of chopsticks. Back and forth, he would take a bite of the food, then give Seungmin a bite. He’d go around the plate, picking up different foods to create a blend of flavors that sent Seungmin in a happy daze, and gently place it into his mouth. Seungmin was particular about how he ate: not wanting certain foods to touch others, hating foods entirely on the texture, not wanting to taste something when he didn’t see it being made. But none of that mattered with Jeongin. Seungmin found meals fed by the younger his favorite.
Jeongin was his favorite.
“Hey Innie?” Seungmin’s voiced was whispered, quiet enough to only be able to be heard within the radius of the two boys. A reply in the form of a hum was more felt than heard, the vibrations of the boy's chest resembling a content kitten.
“I’m your favorite, right?” Seungmin lifted his head to glance at him, fingers cracking against his own will. Even though the question was rhetorical in nature, only a second of eye contact was needed for Jeongin to understand the true intention of the question. The realization made him softly laugh, looking away as he felt his face heat up.
“Yeah,” Jeongin nodded as he squeezed Seungmin’s waist that was loosely wrapped in his arm, “you’re my favorite, Minnie.”
Seungmin stared at him for a few more seconds, constellations sparkling within his eyes as he looked up at Jeongin. An uncharacteristic squeal left his mouth, and he ducked his head to place it against Jeongin’s shoulder. With a shy kiss deposited on Jeongin’s neck, Seungmin curled more into the body he laid on, pulling it tighter until no space was left between them.
As both boys laid comfortably on Seungmin’s bed with pink brushed against their cheeks, they fell into a peaceful slumber and entered a new stage of their relationship. And when they ate breakfast with the rest of the members the next morning with tightly clasped hands and shy glances at one another, the members said nothing besides give happy smiles to the new couple.