Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Kim Kwangsu stared at the hand that linked him to his twin brother, a deep and thoughtful frown overtaking his face that was entirely unrelated to the dour occasion.

The mourners all approached the boys, each providing their hollow condolences for their loss and scurrying away when the children didn’t respond the way they had anticipated.

‘...everyone around him dies.’

It was a fact that he was suddenly and painfully aware of. Kim Kwangsu had endured quite a few near death experiences as well while remaining at his twin's side, although he’d never quite put together why until this moment.

Both of their parents were dead.

Pets and friends and all the people who his twin treasured were always short for this world or experienced a misfortune that was so great that they left.

It was as though the grim reaper itself hugged his twin gently against its bony chest while slicing down everyone who came near.

If Kim Kwangsu were a normal child, he definitely would have died too.

His younger twin, a child of only five years old with an expression that appeared numb to loss, stood stolidly at his side and Kwangsu could feel his hand trembling ever so slightly.

Even though he was only a child, he seemed to have grasped the facts as well. Perhaps only on a subconscious level but he was aware of the lethal jinx that his mere existence was.

‘...this is going to be a pain in the ass.’

The older twin let out a deep sigh and looked towards the next mourner, sneering at the obnoxious man and jerking his head to make him go away.

None of these people cared about the two orphans.

No one was willing to take them in, they’d argued amongst themselves loud enough to be heard and attempted to force it into the hands of those who were the least qualified merely because they would have the most difficult time arguing back.

It was disgusting behavior. There was being a trashy person and then there was being absolute scum.

Kim Kwangsu was familiar with both.

Cale Henituse had lived the majority of his life being trash of some kind or another, mostly on purpose, sometimes by accident. He’d lived to the shitty age of forty before dying anticlimactically at the hands of a sociopathic psycho with a god complex.

And then he’d spent roughly five years of his new life in a hazy state of barely being able to remember his old life but having just enough of his old instincts and skills to spare himself from the many gruesome deaths that nipped at his heels.

All because he’d been born as Kim Roksu’s twin brother.

It would be a lot easier if Cale were able to smack away the tiny trembling hand holding his own. Walk away from the walking death jinx and go anywhere else. With his memories of his adulthood returning back to him he ought to be able to navigate this new world even with the body of a child.

The trouble was that he quite liked his brother.

Roksu was an awkward brat who didn’t know how to smile properly, go figure with the grim reaper stifling him, and a heart that was deceptively kind. He was also quite devious in his own way, which Cale approved of. He liked bright kids who knew how to make the best of a shitty situation.

Although Roksu’s situation was probably far too shitty to be solved simply by being just a bit clever. They’d probably need a miracle if Cale wanted to live to adulthood at his brother's side.

Well, Cale would have to find a damn memory then.

As the funeral wrapped up and the arguing adults made up their mind about where they would send the problem children, Cale was made aware that they would be staying with their incredible unreliable drunk of an uncle who was just the right flavor of scum to make Cale’s fingers itch for a bottle to throw at his head.

He couldn’t leave Roksu with that shitty old man. Not that he’d had any serious intentions of abandoning his brother but it was annoying to know that it wasn’t even an option.

Cale looked towards Roksu, squeezing his hand to comfort him. “You okay?”

Technically Cale had lost his parents too but he’d felt only a meager connection to the couple. They’d always been too busy to take proper care of the twin boys and more often than not, Cale had been left to use his wisdom to take care of them both.

Roksu nodded silently and looked towards the floor. As an actual child, he probably felt the loss much more acutely than Cale.

Cale had already lost both of his original parents in his lifetime and they’d been far closer to him than the near-strangers they’d buried today. He was already used to coping with the ache that losing a family member bore into his chest.

Roksu was just five years old.

Perhaps Cale had underestimated the boy though because Roksu collected himself quickly and followed Cale out of the funeral hall calmly. Although then again, Roksu ought to be more acutely familiar with loss and death than most children his age.

His parents were merely the crescendo to a long list of everyone Roksu held dear.

Cale was the only exception. And he intended to remain that exception no matter how dire or lethal it got.

–

The apartment was definitely too small for a bachelor and two children. The grumpy old drunk clearly didn’t have any intention of making any accommodations for the pair either, he was much more intent on gambling away what little inheritance they had and pissing the remainder out on the side of the road.

He was exactly the type of bastard that Cale would have liked to start a bar fight with. Not for the first time he really wished he had his old body back. Having spent nearly the last twenty years of his life at war, Cale’s body had been in quite good shape. He’d probably have been able to snap this damn drunkard in half.

He wondered if it was possible to get Roksu to like the bastard so that the death-curse would hunt him down too. Although judging by Roksu’s expressions, even he wasn’t naive enough to think this obnoxious man was palatable.

So Cale chose to bide his time while coming up with a plan. The miniature apartment didn’t offer them any room or comfort but as stated earlier, Cale had lived twenty years on the battlefield. You learned how to make a fair-tasting soup in a boot under those strates.

He could definitely improvise.

“We’re going out.” Cale declared when he was sure that the violent bastard was long gone and would be spending the rest of the afternoon indulging in his vices.

Roksu looked up at him in confusion. “Where?”

Cale gave his brother a crooked grin and pulled him to his feet with one arm. “We’ve got to secure our necessities.”

Roksu gave it a thoughtful pause before replying. “Food, shelter, water.” He said.

Cale patted his back, leading him out of the shitty apartment. “You’re smarter than you look.”

Roksu pouted at his brother, feeling somewhat wronged by the implication but Cale paid it no mind. It was nice to see Roksu pouting at all.

The child had been uncomfortably blank lately. Cale could tell what he was thinking and he didn’t like it one bit.

If he ever found the bastard responsible for whatever death-curse that hung over Roksu’s head, he’d ring the son of a bitch by the neck. And then force the bastard to undo whatever it was that he’d done.

Magic didn’t seem to exist in this world though, or at least the general public didn’t know about it, so Cale had very little to go on with that particular investigation. A part of him was still adjusting to the rules of this world. While, yes, he’d had five years living here and understood the world in the instinctual way that a native would.

On the other hand, he’d spent forty years of his life in a completely different world with completely different rules and that was just a lot more time overall.

‘I’ll just have to live longer here.’ Cale thought determinedly, pulling his sibling along towards their first stop.

The convenience store at the corner was busy enough that no one noticed the two children among the aisles. Cale grabbed the cheapest item he could, a piece of candy that was worth only a few Won and dug through his pockets for the change he’d stolen from their shitty uncle for just this task.

The cashier was confused as to why the little boy requested the largest bag they had for his tiny purchase but she indulged his seemingly childish desire, forgetting about the interaction instantly as she dealt with the remainder of the line.

Cale wordlessly handed the piece of the candy to Roksu before heading to the back of the store.

“For a start, we’re going to dumpster dive.” Cale announced. Roksu nodded in understanding and the pair, through meticulous teamwork, filled the bag with as many edible or useful items as could be found within the grime. Cale nodded in satisfaction at their haul and the now far stinkier children set off down the road again.

“That’s food.” Roksu said thoughtfully, somewhat impressed by his brother’s quick thinking. “What’s next?”

Cale held up his fingers. “We’ll need to find a way to hide things from that shitty bastard.” He said firmly. “He’s definitely the type to steal our food. Then we’ll need to find a way to earn money.”

Roksu slumped. “How? We’re five.”

Cale really liked how precocious his brother was. It made him a lot easier to talk to than most five year olds would have been. He grinned at the child devilishly. “To begin with, we’ll skim from our uncle. He’s stolen our money so it’s not really theft if we’re taking back what’s rightfully ours. Luckily he’s an idiot so he won’t notice if we’re subtle about it and time it correctly.”

Roksu looked ethically uneasy for a moment before he nodded. Those at the lowest didn’t have the privilege of having high-handed ethics. Besides, Roksu hated the shitty drunkard too.

Cale and Roksu had only been under his care for a week and they were already malnourished and sporting a few more bruises than when they arrived.

“And then?” Roksu asked, understanding the limitations of the theft immediately.

Cale gave it careful consideration before answering. “I’m thinking we run a scam.”

To his surprise, the sweet child smiled enthusiastically at the suggestion. Really. How twisted had he become at such a young age? Not that Cale minded. This made it a lot easier.

However, before they had the opportunity to work out the details of the plan the screeching sound of tires burning against the road filled the air.

Cale could groan.

Not again .

With reflexes honed from spending years in death-defying situations such as this, Cale grabbed his brother and dove behind a fire hydrant. He hugged Roksu close to him and squeezed his eyes shut as he awaited impact.

Like clockwork, the car rammed directly into the fire hydrant and caused an explosion of water that soaked both boys and their hard earned loot. The shock of the impact was enough to unbalance Cale’s crouching position but he was otherwise untouched.

With an eye roll, Cale stood up and held a hand out to his brother to help him up. Roksu remained on the ground though, his expression complicated.

“...don’t think that.” Cale said, gruffly pulling Roksu to his feet and dusting him off.

“Think what?” Roksu replied cagily.

Cale rolled his eyes again and picked up their soaked grocery bag. “You know what. I’m not going anywhere. That’s final.”

Roksu’s pupils shook as he looked at his brother and he had to look away, his face looking a whole lot younger. Cale patted his shoulder. “Instead of thinking that, let’s get the bastard that almost killed us for every dime. How’s your acting?”

Roksu’s expression calmed down and a small smile settled onto his face as he shook his head. He could hear the adults around who were coming to check up on the poor children now.

“The key is to turn bad luck into good luck.” Cale said with a wink before he got to work.

Whatever garbage curse this was, it would seriously have to work harder than that to get Cale Henituse. He was a turtle with a hard fucking shell and a bad attitude, liable to bite all fingers with his beak.

Kim Roksu, a boy who was quite used to learning how to feel helpless, followed after his older twin with something akin to ambition growing in his young heart.

Chapter Text

Admittedly, most attempts at Cale’s life weren’t quite as dramatic.The curse was slow and insidious, introducing normal dangers into day to day life and giving them a lethal edge.

Cale, well accustomed to living in a state of hypertension, had taken to it like a fish to water.

What he didn’t take to as easily was curbing his temper.

Cale had a pretty strict policy about how to deal with scumbags. It went pretty simple. It involved taking the alcohol that they liked to overindulge in and use as an excuse for despicable behavior and smashing the damn bottle over their fucking head.

A bottle smashed all too close to hitting Roksu’s fragile body as the old bastard screamed on about the pair of them leaching off of his goodwill and causing him bad luck gambling by their mere existence.

Cale took in a slow and calculated breath.

The important thing is not to lose his shit at this point.

Treat this moment as an opportunity to learn. Listen carefully to what their uncle had to say, gather any relevant information, and use that information to consider the best possible course of action.

And then lose his shit. But with a certain style to it.

He was low on his luck. He’d already burned through all of the children’s meager inheritance and as he’d lost most of it, he felt that the eerie children must have been the cause of his runny luck.

Cale smiled.

It was a nasty smile.

“Uncle.” His voice wasn’t loud but it managed to cut through his rant as Cale stepped neatly between his twin brother and the blithering idiot. Roksu was standing stockstill and despite his impassive expression, Cale could tell by his shaking eyes that Roksu was currently paralyzed with fear. “Would you like to lose more than your money?”

It was a threat. An overt one at that. A sane or sober man ought not to have considered the six year old child’s threat as nothing more than a child’s over-inflated ego. This bastard had left drunk behind a few hours ago and now he was in the far reaches of alcohol poisoning within which he really might not survive to see another day.

Cale knew he would though. It was never the real bastards who actually drank themselves to death. They drank other people to death.

He knew it’d been the right move when he saw the man flinch away from his words, swaying drunkenly as he snarled at Cale far more defensively than he ought to. In all reality, Cale was nothing more than a scrawny malnourished child and he was an adult with enough heft to merely smother Cale to death if he so desired.

But Cale had caught the keywords in the drunkard's speech. Creepy and unsettling and all sorts of vaguely religious allusions that spoke of a man who didn’t know much about religion but had learned to be superstitious.

Cale had a gift. He’d had it since he was an actual child more than forty years ago. He’d always had a knack for reading people with exceptional accuracy.

He read that this idiot was creeped out by twins. Most especially twins like Cale and Roksu, one with maturity beyond his years and the other with a bright mind masked by an incredible poker face. They probably looked possessed by something demonic to the idiotic old bastard.

Cale was more than willing to use that.

“Don’t come near me, you disgusting–” Cale tuned out the rest of his speech and deftly caught the bottle that his uncle threw at him with a fiendish smile.

Cale turned over the bottle thoughtfully before holding it out to his uncle as though to pour it for him, pure menace in his eyes. “Would you like me to pour you a drink, uncle?”

The old bastard turned green, his gaze flickering to the bottle and back up to Cale’s face as though wondering if the drink he’d only just been consuming had actually been poisoned.

Cale had a talent for implying things with his words and gestures.

Apparently his imagination had been enough and their uncle stumbled away to the bathroom, retching and heaving as though his life depended on it. He probably thought it did.

With the fool out of sight, Cale put down the bottle and shook his aching hand with a wince. “ Fuck , that hurt.” He cursed, turning to check on Roksu. “You okay?”

Roksu nodded mutely and gently examined Cale’s hand, his own trembling as he did so. Cale could see the fear as plain as day on the boy’s face.

Roksu still didn’t handle it very well when Cale was in danger. He’d actually taken to attempting to attract danger to himself instead like the damn fool he was. Cale let him examine to his heart's content, knowing that Roksu wouldn’t be satisfied otherwise, before he spoke again.

“We should make ourselves scarce. When he sobers up enough he’ll either realize I was fucking with him and beat us or fall deeper into the delusion and beat us in ‘self-defense’.” Cale said.

“...if you knew that, why’d you say it?” Roksu asked, already gathering what meager belongings he had to follow Cale out the door. There was no telling how long they’d need to stay out of uncle’s way and so it was better not to leave anything behind.

Cale grinned roguishly. “Wasn’t it fucking great seeing his fucking face? It would have been better if I could have beat the bastard–but I’m not strong enough.” Yet. Cale had a lot of plans for when his tiny body could acquire muscle once more.

Roksu’s lip twitched and Cale knew that he agreed. Nothing was quite as gratifying as seeing a real bastard tricked by a few simple words into flushing away his own alcohol.

“It still wasn’t a good idea.” Roksu cautioned but disingenuously.

“It’s a toss up whether he’ll even remember once he sobers up.” Cale pointed out. “And then it’ll be a matter of ‘did I dream that or did it happen?’, which he’ll most likely lean on the side of ‘dream’ because sensibly speaking it doesn’t make a whole lot of sense.”

“...you have a really devious mind.” Roksu said.

Cale shot him a grin. “You say that like you don’t. Now hurry up and lead the way.”

In all fairness, their evil bastard of an uncle had some merit to consider them creepy. Even Cale was sometimes taken aback by Roksu at times although he wouldn’t consider the precocious child to be creepy but rather incredible.

If Cale had been gifted with the ability to read others, Roksu had the innate ability to remember and understand information exceptionally well. His memory alone would have been quite impressive for his age and if their uncle had figured out that they ought to be enrolled into school, it would have been more than enough to mark him as a brilliant student, but it was his ability to really understand and piece together what he could remember that made him absolutely genius.

That wasn’t to say he had the capacity to think like an adult, far from it, he was still naive and young and lacked the experience necessary to survive in a cut-throat world.

But what his memory and understanding really got him was pattern recognition at an above average level. Which of course meant that two unlikely lads without much at all to their name had a leg-up on those who couldn’t or wouldn’t bother to see the patterns.

It worked well for scams but it worked even better for beating people at rather simple games that relied quite heavily upon patterns. Most any card or board game in existence as an example, there was always an element of luck and Roksu wasn’t guaranteed to win anything, but people thought it was awfully cute how the two hapless twins would team up to challenge them to varying games for humble gambles.

Cale picked the targets, carefully selecting those who wouldn’t be a sore loser, and Roksu played against them. Their victories were moderate but significant enough that they actually had some meat on their bones. They’d even managed to start collecting some moderate savings.

Roksu led the way to the park where they normally did business. If it wasn’t safe at home it was best to at least see how much they could earn through a few humble bets against those who wouldn’t mind losing a bit of spare change.

The key to maintaining safety was to remain harmless enough that no one minded. No one felt cheated. If they won too much or people lost too much in one go, there was unlikely to be anyone willing to bet tomorrow.

Cale zeroed in his focus on a granny who they’d done business with before and pointed her out.

Roksu frowned. “You’re really vicious.” He said to chastise him, as though he wouldn’t go through with it. “She’s nice.”

Cale scoffed. “That’s sort of the point. ‘Mean’ people try to crack your skull open when they lose.” He sighed when he saw the pout on Roksu’s face and decided to comfort his morals a bit. It wasn’t like Cale liked targeting kind people either, he’d more than happily go after the scum of society, but they were just too vulnerable in their current states to manage that. And they were too vulnerable to survive without targeting anyone at all. “See her bag?”

Roksu nodded, looking towards the garish bag with a frown.

“It’s an expensive brand. So are her shoes, pants, and blouse. Everything she’s wearing is worth more than our lives.” Cale had an eye for luxury items, in another life he’d spent quite a bit of time dressed in nothing but the best. “I picked her because she really won’t miss the money.”

This is why he felt that Roksu was still surprisingly naive in certain ways. Honestly, with how meager their bets were there wasn’t a single person in the entire park who couldn’t afford to lose to them without any large consequence. And yet, Roksu worried simply because the lady was kind.

Cale was really worried about Roksu’s future sometimes. He just cared about other people a bit too much. Just enough that Cale thought that if Roksu had been the one born with a silver spoon in his mouth, he might have spent it all saving the less fortunate and go as far as to cough blood to help them.

That was pure speculation though. Cale had no intentions of allowing his stupidly kind brother to grow up into that sort of person. He’d get Roksu to have some self-preservation if he had to drill it into the damn kid’s head.

The elderly woman smiled brightly at their approach as though she’d been waiting for them, she might have been considering Cale had clocked her as lonely and loves children in his initial assessments, and she offered them some candies. The boy’s happily accepted them before Cale engaged her in a conversation.

This was part of the con. If they immediately came up and challenged her, eventually she’d feel quite accurately that they were only using her for her wallet and drift away. And so, Cale used his people skills to pry information from her while endeavoring to look like the sweet grandchild she surely wished paid her this much attention. And then, after an appropriate amount of time had passed, they would look like restless children who were bored and elicit her to be the one to challenge them to a game of her choosing.

It was key to get the target to suggest the game. It helped ease any ruffled feathers when Roksu inevitably decimated them and retrieved their cash. And when Cale subtly interjected things into the conversation about childish things that the poor boys, who received no allowance due their humble upbringing, wished to purchase then adults were all the more likely to engage. Thinking of it as nothing more than giving a child an allowance so they could buy some sweeties.

However when Cale caught Roksu’s eyes for the signal of restless children he caught something different in those unreadable brown depths.

Cale frowned and turned back to their target with a bright grin. “I’m sorry, I forgot we have an appointment today!” He took hold of Roksu’s hand. “Let’s hang out again next time!” He said with a friendly grin, getting a smile from the woman before pulling Roksu away to an isolated area in the park.

Cale turned to face him with a frown. “What’s wrong?”

Roksu shifted uncomfortably and looked down to his feet. He didn’t want to say it.

“Is it because of her?” Cale asked.

Roksu shook his head and his shoulders slumped.

Cale noted he was shaking.

Shit.

Now that he thought about it, had Roksu ever stopped shaking after getting the bottle thrown at him? Cale was used to all sorts of violence from his lifetime as Cale Henituse but Roksu… Roksu was six years old.

‘I’m an idiot.’

“C’mere.” Cale said, pulling his brother into a gentle hug and patting his back.

Cale wished he had done this sort of thing more when his other younger siblings were still alive, in a different life. He’d been too stupid back then though. Now he knew better.

Sometimes people needed more than just food or security.

Roksu was stiff in his arms and Cale wondered how many times Roksu had been hugged since their parents had passed. Probably none. Shit. He really was an idiot.

“It’s okay.” Cale said softly. “I’m here.”

Roksu untensed a bit but the shuddering did not stop and there was something that sounded dangerously like a sniffle. Cale just held him close.

There weren’t words that would fix this. All he could do was be there and be an older brother.

Cale was less experienced with that than dodging death defying situations but dammit, he’d learn how to get good at it.

If there was ever a child who needed a good older brother, it was that poor fool Kim Roksu.

Chapter Text

Some people really can’t take a hint.

Despite every opportunity provided upon them to make it apparent that the current trajectory of their life would only end in disaster, certain individuals preferred under the misguided notion that they can proceed as is with little to no consequence.

In this very specific way, Cale was quite similar to his uncle. They were both stubborn to a fault in peculiar ways that would only lead to tragedy.

Cale had been explicit.

No harm was to come to Roksu.

The old man could drink and gamble and scream his fool head off. He could steal all of their money and food, he could even berate them for being born at all. Cale could tolerate it and he could cover Roksu’s ears. They could make more money. They could find more food. They could turn off their ears to his voice.

Their wretched uncle was even allowed just a bit of violence, so long as the target was exclusively Cale. Cale knew how to take a punch and he knew better how to exhaust an opponent who was bigger and stronger than him. How many bar fights had he survived as Cale Henituse without ever having to fight back at all?

It wasn’t an arrangement that Roksu was happy with but Roksu was a child. He didn’t understand that sometimes one has to accept the unacceptable in order to protect the future. Cale could handle it.

He could also handle the way items dropped from high places in an attempt to end his short life early and how the world itself attempted to scrub him out of existence the closer he got to his younger brother.

There was just one line that couldn’t be crossed.

Cale had only left for a few minutes. It ought to have been safe. Their uncle was away drinking, again, and Roksu was feeling under the weather so he’d gone to the corner store to pick up some medicine.

Cale had no words for the sight he returned to.

He saw red.

Red like the fires that consumed his family. Red like the sky after he was made to be alone. Red like the blood of an enemy soldier’s blood trailing down his blade. Red like his mothers hair as she faded away.

Red.

There was simply one line that the disgusting monster wasn’t allowed to cross. But some people will not heed any warning and act on their own horrific impulses, disgusting and revolting–some people do not appreciate an opportunity when it has been provided to them.

The opportunity here was to live.

Cale was a soldier. One who had lived for twenty years fighting an endless war against an opponent who was vastly superior to them in strength. He was used to twisting his mind into knots that were grotesque and vicious.

In the nearly two years that the small malnourished children had lived under their uncle's care , Cale had considered one question over and over with great seriousness.

Should the bastard ever cross the line, how could he with the strength of a child defeat him?

The answer was very simple.

He needed to die. And quick enough that he wouldn’t be able to fight back. Maiming him in any way wouldn’t be enough–all it would take was one strike to the right spot with all of the monstrous old man’s considerable strength and it would be game over for Cale.

However murder had consenquences and those consenquences would take Cale away from his defenseless baby brother and thus, it was a solution that was only to be considered with absolutely no other choice available.

The state that Roksu was in–bile built up in Cale’s throat and he saw red .

He was lucky, he had the element of surprise. The monster was too busy enjoying himself to notice Cale’s arrival. It didn’t take long to draw out the sharp little knife he kept hidden on his person, just in case, just to feel secure.

In one swift movement it was stabbed into the bastard's throat. Cale knew immediately that his child-like strength had failed him–it wasn’t deep enough. He needed to do one more. He grit his teeth, ignoring the gargled scream as he tried to push the knife deeper–

“Stop!”

Red.

Red blood of their uncle dripped down on Roksu’s tear stricken face and stained it red. Disgusting red.

The distraction was enough for their uncle to get the upper hand, pushing Cale away and sending his frail body colliding with a wall. He stumbled weakly afterwards, drunk and struggling to breathe as he held onto his neck. Roksu kicked his knees out from under him before he could decide on a target, running to his brother with another broken sob and checking on Cale’s limp form.

Cale gathered himself as quickly as was possible. His entire body was wracked with pain but there was no time for that.

While the lumbering idiot was deciding what was more important, revenge or a hospital, they needed to escape. Cale took hold of Roksu’s hand and ran.

Roksu’s sobbing apologies behind him echoed horribly in his head as his feet slapped against the ground without even shoes to protect them.

The wretched and strangled scream of indignation behind them.

The world as it swirled around the moment of fear and misery and the knowledge that it had gone too far. There was no going back from this.

Cale’s sickened stomach at the sight he’d returned to wouldn’t leave his vision and all he wanted was to stop, hug his brother, and assure the boy that he had nothing to apologize for.

He couldn’t waste the breath or the time.

They needed to get away or they really might not make it out of this alive.

In his blind panic to get away, Cale was blind to everything but the road ahead and deaf to all but the sound of his broken brother. However, in his peripherals, Cale could swear something strange happened.

He didn’t have the presence of mind to register it.

He only stopped running when they’d reached their normal hiding spot from the world. A nook in a dank alleyway that no one ever gave much thought to and was difficult to reach at all unless you were the size of a child.

His thin legs crumbled beneath him and without the air to even speak, Cale hugged Roksu to him. Tightly and securely, to make sure he was still there. He was still alive. He was still okay.

Hot tears pricked Cale’s eyes as he tried not to be plagued by visions of what could have happened if Roksu was left alone at that bastard's mercy.

“I’m sorry.” He choked out, breathless and broken. “I’m so sorry.”

He shouldn’t have left Roksu alone. He knew that the apartment was dangerous. He’d just wanted Roksu to have some rest while Cale got the medicine–it was stupid. His stupid mistake and now Roksu was in this wretched state.

Roksu shook his head, fragile fingers clinging to Cale’s shirt while he coughed pathetically instead of answering. A horrible sick cough from a child attempting to speak but sobbing too hard to even breathe.

Pathetic and miserable and wretched.

“It’s okay.” Cale held him closer, settling into the nook and closing his eyes. “It’s okay.” He repeated the lie.

Roksu hiccuped pathetically, of course he knew it was a lie. He wasn’t a fool. But he still allowed the lie to comfort him as he hid his face in his brother’s shirt and cried.

Cried for all the times he could never protect Cale from this pain. Cried for the regret and terror that still wracked his tiny body. Cried for the pain that resounded through his very core.

Roksu really hated pain.

There was a torn cushion beneath them and some very basic supplies that the pair had hidden here just in case. It wasn’t comfortable by any means but the terrifying exhaustion that shot through them made it feel like the coziest bed they’d ever slept on.

Tangled up, bruised and battered, the pair fell asleep just like that.

The smell of something strange and familiar was what woke Cale up. He sat up weakly and looked about. Their surroundings were dark, evening had abandoned them and been replaced by the raw darkness of night. It looked just a bit too dark to be just night though. South Korea was a vibrant country filled with cities that lit up the world with all the little ways that humanity escaped darkness. Streetlights and convenience stores, patrolling police officers with flashlights, cars and sounds–

The sounds.

Cale’s face scrunched up in confusion. The sounds around them were wrong. His drowsy mind couldn’t quite place why but while he was still definitely resting in a tiny nook of an alleyway, the sounds beyond were wrong .

And that smell–

It had been too long. He couldn’t discern where he’d smelled it before. But it was familiar in a way that made his heart ache and he couldn’t explain how or why.

“...Kwangsu?”

Cale looked down to his brother and the wrongness faded away as though it had been nothing but a figment of his imagination. Roksu was looking up at him with troubled eyes.

Fuck. He still had dried blood on his face from that bastard. Cale scowled and reached down, gently wiping away the cracking blood. “Yeah?” He replied softly.

“...I thought you left…” Roksu said, burying his face into the cushion below them as though ashamed to admit it.

Cale smiled down at him gently. “I would never do that, idiot.”

“...what if you died?”

It was as though the air was sucked away. The unspoken taboo between them.

They both knew . They knew that Cale was in semi-constant danger and they knew that the source was the common denominator in all the death they’d experienced in their short lives.

They knew but they didn’t dare to vocalize it.

“I won’t.” Cale promised, petting his twin’s hair gently as he thought about their next move. “I promise.”

“It’s not that easy.” Roksu complained.

Cale snorted with a roguish smile. “Isn’t it? I think you know well enough by now that I’m pretty fucking stubborn.” Stubborn was an understatement to describe the incredible lengths of hard-headed determination that defined Cale as a person. He made words like stubborn appear tepid and docile. Cale was the antithesis of all things passive and compliant.

Cale was the sort of person who looked at the imminent fate of death hanging over his head and gave it a sneer.

Something tense dissipated from Roksu’s shoulders and he looked up at him once more. “...you’re an idiot.”

“But I’m an idiot who won’t die.” Cale said with all the confidence of a man who would make it happen at any cost.

Roksu’s lip trembled. “...promise?”

“I already promised, idiot.” Cale laid back down beside him and gave him a hug. “But I double-promise. I won’t die.”

“What about when you get old?” Roksu teased, clearly gathering his composure enough to be a little shit.

“I don’t know, maybe I’ll find the elixir for eternal youth. Why the fuck are you making this complicated?” Cale gave the punk a noogie and smiled.

Roksu returned his smile and at last peace had returned between them. The future was uneasy and terrifying but they could handle it together.

“...are you going to be okay?” Cale asked when he had the courage to, the sight of that despicable monster assaulting Roksu still fresh in his mind. He probably wouldn’t ever be able to forget it. Burned in his memory forever like all the other times he saw red.

“I–” Roksu hesitated, spotting the serious look on Cale’s expression and rethinking a flippant answer. “I’m okay.” He said.

Nothing that had happened to him was worse than the moment he’d seen Cale’s body clatter helplessly against the wall. The way the world had shrunk away and all he could do was watch. Pathetic and worthless. Roksu clenched his tiny fists and promised himself that he’d never let something like that happen again.

He’d find a way to protect his brother no matter what.

Chapter Text

It was tricky being homeless. Especially being a homeless child. Most especially being two homeless children.

It simply wasn’t an option to return to their uncle’s apartment. If he died from his injury, the law would have a few words to say to Cale. If he survived, he was sure to make sure neither twin could ever threaten his well being again.

It was lucky they’d managed to do a certain amount of preparation for this possibility. In the nearly two years they’d spent with their uncle, they’d scraped and saved and scammed and hidden little nests for them to rest all over town.

Cale had taken notice of the normal haunts for homeless adults and they took great pains to avoid those areas. In an ideal world, Cale could trust in homeless adults to show them the ropes and support them in the early stages of their transition. And there were surely plenty of individuals within that group who would do just that. Most adults had at least some compassion for children.

However even if the vast majority of them were upstanding folks who were merely down on their luck, if there was even one among them who had ill-intentions for the twins it would be game-over. Besides, the compassion of strangers was a limited thing. It was easy to be kind to a child for perhaps a day, maybe two, but most people felt drained from there and behaved accordingly.

In short, Cale’s trust in humans as a whole was at an absolute low. He was always a bit cynical by nature but the risky tight-rope that he lived his second life on was thinning into a mere thread.

He definitely didn’t want to compete for limited resources with individuals who were bigger and stronger.

But this meant that the twins had to avoid a community who was sure to have resources, reliable information, and areas that were better suited to homeless living.

The situation couldn’t last but they were going to make the best of the limited advantages they could grasp hold of. One was that they could sneak into places that could only possibly fit children, so it allowed for a certain amount of peace when they slept at night. Between the two of them, they had a shared sleeping bag that they’d saved up a significant sum to purchase, three sets of clothes, a humble amount in savings, and three dumpsters that they frequented for their meals.

Altogether, their lives hadn’t changed as much as they thought. It was actually far more comfortable to sleep in a cramped nook behind a dumpster than it was to sleep next to the terrifying menace their uncle had proved to be.

That peace wasn’t to last.

Time was the enemy.

They had run away from home in the final vestiges of summer as autumn gently persuaded the trees to soften their grasp upon leaves that were sure to rain colorfully onto the city below.

They couldn’t survive the winter like this. They’d hardly survived even with the crappy heating of their uncle’s tiny apartment. Seoul snowed in the winter, going well below zero at night and was bitingly cold even during the day.

They would die.

Cale didn’t have a solution for that problem yet though. He didn’t have the time. They had to abandon a significant amount of their supplies in the apartment with that monster and so he had his hands full just keeping them warm and fed every day while carefully avoiding being spotted by the authorities and the usual dangers that were presented merely by being Roksu’s brother. Cale would definitely need to solve the problems presented by the oncoming winter but that would just have to wait until tomorrow.

Tomorrow stretched on for a few weeks and it wasn’t until he glanced at Roksu and spotted the boy shiver that he knew he’d waited too long. Wrapping his arm casually around Roksu’s shoulders to share body warmth, Cale searched the street for something affordable and warm. Even just a hotcake from a vendor would be enough.

“...Kwangsu.”

Cale didn’t look away from his task as he spoke. “Mm?”

“I’m okay.”

Cale clenched his tiny fist at his side.

Shit.

Roksu was the sort who would say that right up until he coughed up blood and probably after that as well.

“I’m not.” Cale said hottily. “I’m cold and I’m pissed.” He guided Roksu towards a convenience store; they could pretend to browse the shelves for at least a few minutes while the heat of the store warmed them. The smell of fresh meat buns by the register had Cale’s mouth watering and his stomach grumbling but he ignored the internal complaints of a body that didn’t understand that he couldn’t afford such luxury. A meat bun today could mean death tomorrow.

There would be less people to scam at the park in the winter too. People didn’t loiter as much in the freezing snow and they’d have uncomfortable questions about two small boys who were clearly under-dressed for the weather.

Cale’s eyes drifted towards a mirror on display and nearly jumped out of his skin, whirling around to look behind him and scaring Roksu in the process.

There was nothing behind him. When his eyes shot back to the mirror, there was nothing but a normal reflection of a scared child and the store behind him.

…he could swear that he saw…

Cale calmed his racing heart, smiling at Roksu to reassure him. “Thought I saw a bug.” He lied.

Roksu accepted the lie wordlessly and they continued through the store, slowly and methodically.

In theory, they could spend most of their time loitering in stores like this to avoid the cold. They could also shoplift if they were truly desperate. Cale didn’t let them though.

Cale was all too aware of how some clerks watched them with hawkish eyes and without the slightest hint of compassion. There were those who were waiting for the tiniest excuse to ban the two dirty children from coming back again.

They couldn’t afford to lose a shelter and so they were on their best behavior. Cale made sure to purchase something at least once every other visit, even if it was a tiny cheap candy, it was more money than they could afford but it was an investment in keeping the clerks from accusing them of loitering or causing trouble.

Today, Cale splurged and bought two meat buns. He was still shaken by the sight in the mirror and he wanted to leave as quickly as possible. To do so, he needed to warm Roksu up quicker. Food was always a good method. The pair stood by the entrance with their food, their purchase allowing them the permission to linger in the warmth while they ate.

“What do you want for your birthday?” Cale asked. Of course they couldn’t afford much but the date was coming up quickly and Cale made a point to celebrate Roksu’s birthday.

“...you say that like it isn’t your birthday too.” Roksu pointed out dryly but he wasn’t shivering anymore, taking a grateful bite of the meat bun with a satisfied smile.

When was the last time they’d been able to afford warm food? It was a nice luxury that Cale was going to find a way to fit into their budget. It was well worth it to see Roksu smile.

“Alright.” Cale said with an eye roll. “What do you want for our birthday?”

Roksu frowned thoughtfully. “I don’t need anything.”

Well, that was a huge load of bullshit. Roksu needed a lot of things. Warm food, a home, a proper education, people who cared about him that didn’t have the life expectancy of a mayfly… but the dang kid had learned how not to hope or want for anything. Cale felt bitterness fill him at the thought.

If he were more capable, smarter, if he could protect Roksu properly–they wouldn’t be in this situation.

“What about you?” Roksu asked. “You never tell me what you want.”

Cale blinked. It wasn’t like Roksu to ask about birthday gifts or that sort of thing. He searched Roksu’s expression for meaning before he thought over the question. Truthfully, birthday presents lost a lot of their luster in one’s thirties and Cale hadn’t been huge on them to begin with. After living a cumulative forty-seven years, he really didn’t want anything that a seven year old could get for him.

A strand of hair fell in front of his eyes and as Cale brushed it away, he remembered his mother. Not the mother from this life that he’d hardly had the opportunity to know. His mother.

She was probably the last person who’d given him a birthday gift that he’d truly loved. She was the woman who gifted him with birth itself.

And now he was so incredibly far away from being the son she’d birthed.

“I want to dye my hair.” Cale said suddenly, a childish impulse bubbling inside of him as he held out a black strand of hair in distaste. “I want red hair.”

I want the hair my mother gave me.

Roksu appeared surprised by his declaration but he smiled in his tiny way and took another bite of his bun. “Okay.” Roksu gave some thought to his answer. “Then I want a coat.”

It was such a Roksu request. Practical and creature comfort all in one. Cale was sure that the boy intended to share it too. He was just that sort of person.

Cale smiled, ruffling Roksu’s hair. He’d make it happen somehow. A coat, especially one for the winter, was well outside of their price range but he’d figure something out.

Cale and Roksu finished their first and final meal for the day before they left the tiny convenience store, an elderly clerk watching them the whole way with the same frown most wore upon seeing the dirty children.

It wasn’t that Cale and Roksu didn’t make an effort to stay clean. They both understood the necessity of hygiene when it came to maintaining one’s health. There was just a limit to what they could manage with three pairs of clothes and public bathrooms. Neither of them had a proper shower in quite some time and it was beginning to show.

The list of things Cale needed to get was growing. By late October, Seoul would be coated in white and by the time early November rolled around, they would be dead. He needed clothes for the winter, reliable shelter at night, warm food at least once a week, and access to a shower otherwise the stink would be enough of an excuse for clerks to shoo them away.

He held his brother’s hand as they walked through the streets, thoughts clouded with anxiety over how he’d manage it all.

Roksu was the one to broach the topic.

“Should we go to an orphanage?”

Cale felt ashamed. It was clear that Roksu was aware of their situation as well, otherwise he wouldn’t have said it. He’d failed in every single way to keep Roksu safe. He bit his lip, unsure how to answer.

“...it’s an option.” He said finally.

Cale had looked into orphanages. Some were pleasant places and others weren’t. It would be a toss up of luck to see where they landed and neither of them had particularly good luck. Besides that, there was the matter of their uncle. If it was only Roksu or only Cale, it would be easy to get lost among the sea of orphans but twins were noticeable.

If their uncle was looking for them, an orphanage would be the first place to check and it would be as easy as saying twins to narrow his search.

And there was always the chance that they’d be sent to different orphanages as well and then they would lack the power to do anything about it at all.

Cale loathed the idea of being separated from his only family.

But the chill of the night was encircling them and he knew it was their only viable option left.

Roksu squeezed his hand in comfort and Cale tried to focus only on that.

Chapter Text

Kim Roksu didn’t much care for the orphanage. It definitely wasn’t bad, or at least from the standards he’d been living in up until now it was quite generous.

There was food, shelter, and no immediate risk of violence.

After a week of living peacefully there though, Roksu took notice of a rather alarming trend. While living on the streets had been difficult and there were many days where he almost found himself missing the meager and nonexistent comfort offered by the shelter of his uncles horrible apartment, when they were living on the streets it had calmed down.

Roksu didn’t have a word for it , he didn’t want to label it . He didn’t even want to think about it .

It was always nearby and it always had its eyes on Kwangsu.

There wasn’t a physical form or a real entity, there were just… accidents. Dangerous little nothing events that struck at the most inconvenient of times. Roksu might not have noticed it if he didn’t have Kwangsu or if Kwangsu had fallen to its machinations early on.

But there was an unmistakable pattern of danger.

Roksu theorized that it didn’t attack when they were homeless because it thought that Kwangsu’s death was now inevitable.

It had a way of constantly underestimating how resourceful Roksu’s older twin was. Truthfully, Roksu didn’t even have a full understanding of Kwangsu’s strength.

But he knew that when he saw Kwangsu stand tall with a twisted smile and a chin uplifted to mock its latest attempt, Roksu felt something like hope stir inside of him.

To him, his brother was hope. Pure and absolute. As bright as the sun and as strong as a rock.

His brother was also despair.

Kwangsu wasn’t immortal.

He could bleed, he felt pain, he was just as pitifully weak as Roksu was in so many ways, he was vulnerable.

It only had to be lucky once, Kwangsu had to be lucky all the time.

The orphanage was peaceful but it wasn’t without conflict or issues. The larger boy with anger problems would get just a bit too violent around Kwangsu and nearly bash his head in or a shelf that hadn’t been properly attached to the wall would drop its load of comically deadly glass figures.

In comparison to the relative peace of the street, the orphanage was a war zone. Every single day there was a danger lingering around a corner for Kwangsu. Every single night, there was a dread tragedy waiting to happen.

It was getting impatient.

In Roksu’s nightmares, it succeeded. In a thousand brutal ways, it found a way to steal Roksu’s only family from him.

When he suggested they leave the orphanage, Kwangsu refused. He knew just as well as Roksu that this place was dangerous for him but he wouldn’t budge.

And as the little accidents grew in frequency, Kwangsu became known as a ‘jinx’. An unlucky child who was sure to bring bad luck to anyone who came near to him. Roksu had even experienced having another kid good-naturedly warn him to avoid Kwangsu.

Roksu hated it.

He’d put his foot down. He’d find a way to make Kwangsu leave with him because this couldn’t last. He couldn’t watch as every day Kwangsu grew closer and closer to death.

He would make him see.

On November 11th, Kwangsu presented him with a winter coat. Lord only knew how he got the money or the means, but it was warm and it fit Roksu perfectly.

Roksu looked up into the proud grin of his brother, scratches and bruises clumsily concealed with bandaids and looking just as though he’d take on the entire world if it challenged him. The words died in his throat.

Roksu had Kwangsu sit down and slowly, with great care Roksu partitioned his hair.

It wasn’t easy. Roksu had asked everyone at the orphanage for advice and most of them told him it would be better to have someone else do it. Roksu wanted to be the one to do it though.

It was the only birthday present that Kwangsu had ever requested.

“Ow–” Kwangsu winced when Roksu accidentally pulled a lock.

“Sorry.” Roksu apologized, continuing with great care.

The bleach was the trickiest part. Working with the foul smelling stuff and the foil and making sure that none of it burned Kwangsu’s scalp.

Despite the difficulty of it, Roksu didn’t want to let anyone else do it. It wasn’t just a level of distrust for others caring properly for his brother, although that was there too, it was the first time that Roksu felt like he could really do something in return for his brother.

Kwangsu had protected him ever since their parents passed away. They were the same age, only separated by a few minutes, and yet Kwangsu had always been his older brother. Roksu struggled to keep up sometimes, trying to mature faster just so that he could help support Kwangsu properly.

Be smart enough and resourceful enough to offer Kwangsu even part of the protection he’d received.

“They want us to start school next year.” Kwangsu mentioned, waiting patient and still as Roksu worked. “Do you want to go?”

Roksu nodded foolishly before catching himself. “I want to go.” He said.

If he went to school then maybe he’d learn how to stop it . It was such a vein hope but Roksu wanted to learn anything he could if it could protect his brother. He wanted to live peacefully together without struggling every day just to survive.

“Good.” Kwangsu said and Roksu could hear the proud smile he was wearing. “You’d do well in school. You’re practically a genius.”

Roksu smiled. Secret and small and hidden behind foil and bleach.

Kwangsu was obviously the ‘genius’ between them. Sometimes he didn’t even seem like a child at all. It was scary how much he knew without ever being taught and how confident and brave he was in the face of adversity. To Roksu, his brother was his hero.

When his hero so happily and proudly complimented him, he couldn’t help but be happy.

Kwangsu was the only person in the world left to compliment Roksu or to care about him at all.

He reinforced his energy on the task at hand. He wanted to impress Kwangsu with how good a job he’d done. He wanted to give his older brother the perfect birthday gift.

“You’re smarter than me though.” Roksu pointed out to deflect the compliment.

Kwangsu snorted. “Because I’m cheating.” He said. “You’re the real deal.”

Kwangsu said that sometimes. That he was ‘cheating’ and he had a headstart because of that. Roksu couldn’t understand it but Kwangsu didn’t seem like he wanted to explain so Roksu didn’t ask.

Kwangsu was a unique sort of person who would freely share information without ever being asked but took great offense when anyone pried. For him, if he was willing to share the information he already would have done so.

Roksu liked his arrogant way of doing things. It left very little question as to who was going to win in the end.

Arrogance came before a fall but Kwangsu glared up at the gods from rock bottom and dared them to dig for magma.

“Alright, you can rinse it out.” Roksu announced once the bleach had set in for the appropriate amount of time. Kwangsu obediently wandered off to a sink and Roksu plopped down on the ground.

The bedroom had three bunkbeds and housed six kids at any given time. Seven right now because Roksu and Kwangsu shared a bed. There was probably a legality problem with the orphanage that they crammed more than the maximum amount into one room but Roksu didn’t care about that.

The scent of bleach still permeated the room and Kwangsu got out the supplies for the next step, the red dye that was the exact color Kwangsu had selected. He’d been rather particular about that. Kwangsu was the sort of guy who would wear and eat just about anything with the energy of someone who’d had worse but with this one thing, he’d been very specific.

Roksu was determined to get it right.

He didn’t know why it was so important to Kwangsu but he didn’t need to know. It was important to his brother so it was important to him too.

A strange sound from outside the window caught his attention and Roksu glanced out into the city beyond, seeing nothing out of the ordinary.

‘...strange.’

His curiosity was disrupted by Kwangsu with a mad grin. “I look like a freak blond! This is hilarious!”

Roksu laughed. Kwangsu wasn’t wrong. Blond hair didn’t suit him at all. They’d have to remedy the situation quickly.

If everyday could be this peaceful, Roksu wouldn’t ask for anything else.

Full of laughter and a full heart, the pair completed the dye job. It was far from perfect. Roksu was only eight years old and it was his first try but the vibrant deep red certainly did suit Kwangsu.

And with dark red hair that was just as lively as Kwangsu’s personality, another type of red stained his cheeks.

It happened quickly. Just as the two of them were truly happy and at home, the ground cracked and Kwangsu fell through onto the first story.

Roksu couldn’t breathe.

Kwangsu’s body was still on the floor below, one arm twisted into an unnatural angle and blood from a head injury spilling over their hard work.

Kwangsu was awake though. His shaking pupils met with Roksu’s but he was clearly in too much pain to speak, adults all gathering around him in various states of panic.

I’m okay he mouthed up at Roksu, as though he was far more worried about Roksu’s reaction than his potentially fatal fall.

Roksu couldn’t breathe.

There was a distinct pattern that he tried not to notice. Ever since they were small and without fail.

Everytime he let affection really fill his heart, that was when Kwangsu was in the most danger.

It wasn’t jinxing Kwangsu. Kwangsu had never been the target of it .

It targeted everyone Roksu loved.

It only needed to be lucky once.

Roksu couldn’t breathe.

He accompanied Kwangsu to the hospital and refused to leave his brothers bedside while adults argued about all sorts of stupid things, like the cost of caring for a disaster waiting to happen like Kwangsu. He sat there in silence while Kwangsu was treated and he sat there in silence when his precious older brother grinned at him.

The same death defying grin he always wore. As though he was the victor. As though it was something he could defeat through sheer hard-headed determination.

Roksu wanted to believe in his brother. To believe that he was right to be so confident and that it would grow tired long before Kwangsu. That there was no possible way that it would steal his brother from him.

Roksu knew better.

It had already stolen everyone else. Whatever miracle kept Kwangsu safe from it couldn’t last forever.

There was only one solution to really keep his brother safe.

Kwangsu reached his good hand, holding onto Roksu’s and giving him a quirked grin. “The red suits me, don’t it?”

Roksu’s lip trembled and he nodded mutely.

“You did a good job with the dye.” Kwangsu continued. “I like it. I want you to do it next time too.”

Roksu’s tiny little fists clenched and he nodded again with a sniffle.

“Hey. I’m okay. I promise. I promised you I wouldn’t die, remember?”

An impossible promise to keep under the circumstances. He looked to his brother, hope and despair in his eyes. “You won’t.” He said firmly.

Roksu wouldn’t allow it. He knew what it wanted and he knew that he couldn’t stop it .

But maybe he could trick it . Roksu had learned all the best scams from his brother and he had a real knack for it.

Roksu locked up his tiny heart as he sat at his brothers hospital bed, hoping beyond hope that he could pull this off.

No matter what happened, he couldn’t let his brother die.

Chapter Text

Sometimes Kim Kwangsu was just unthinkingly elegant. Amongst the maturity, the willingness to eat dirt soup as though it were a luxury item, and the eyes that stared on as though they’d seen more death than most morgues there was a grace to him.

It was in the way he walked and held himself. A pride worthy of nobility and an arrogant upturn of his nose that was befitting of a man who’d looked down on kings.

It was not befitting of an eight year old and it didn’t endear him to his peers.

Children are very much like people, in fact, it could be said that children are people and it is only the adults that have yet to reach this revelation. They are not pure and innocent fairies full of nothing but kindness. They are not miserable little sociopathic brats with no common sense.

They are people.

People come in a great variety of attitudes, perspectives, experiences, and biases.

However it can be said that quite a few people find no enjoyment from feeling patronized. It was Kim Kwangsu’s unlucky fate that he should be surrounded by such people. Although, perhaps it was fortunate that he wasn’t surrounded by those who adore being mocked and derided.

Fortune favored the child in one particular way though. He wasn’t actually a child and he truly didn’t give a rat’s ass whether a bunch of snot nosed nobodies liked him.

It was largely due to the way he quite literally looked down on the children that led them to believe they were being looked down on. If Kim Kwangsu, or rather Cale Henituse, were placed on the scale of believing children were innocent saints or nasty brats, he would lean heavily towards the latter. It wasn’t due to any true hatred of the youth, he merely wasn’t the sort who put much thought into the humanity of children and thus judged them based on his own limited experiences.

Of course this led to a certain amount of hypocrisy because despite his tepid belief that children were unpleasant, sticky, and usually quite selfish he was actually fond of the few children he’d known.

Lily Henituse, in his eyes, could do no wrong. Even when she’d mussed up his hair with mud as a surprise way to wake up, back when she was too young to properly understand that her drunkard of an older brother was best experienced at a great distance.

Basen Henituse was a point of great pride for Cale. A boy who deserved the world and more and despite a meek personality that wouldn’t do him any good during negotiations, a child without any fault at all. Someone to be protected at all costs.

And Kim Roksu, the sweet boy who was too giving for his own good and the pure definition of rotten luck, was a peerless genius and an absolute fool. A child who was thoughtful, considerate, and just the right degree of selfishness while paradoxically being all the wrong degrees of selfless. He was exceptional and complicated.

He also made a much better target for ill-begotten and misplaced frustration than his impervious older twin.

It would be an exaggeration to say that Roksu was bullied. Or at least, Roksu would have considered it an exaggeration. No one hit him and no one said anything particularly awful. However there was a certain amount of exclusion, a hint of sarcasm, some nasty looks, and just a touch of reproach.

It could also be considered fortunate that Kim Roksu was far too traumatized from his upbringing to notice most of it. He was a bright lad and good at reading others but certain subtleties escaped him. When one was used to dodging the blows of outright malice, tepid feelings of dislike simply rolled away harmlessly.

Besides, the isolation suited him just fine. Kim Roksu had decided, in his complicated little way, that he wasn’t going to love anyone or be loved by anyone ever again. Making friends would be, of course, an inconvenience to achieving that goal and thus he soaked in the isolation.

His older twin was a lot more adept at reading others though and he would definitely define the unfair mistreatment of Roksu as bullying, further solidifying his belief that children were all cruel brats. Cale was also quite aware that the nuances of human interaction, even when dealing with the likes of practically braindead children, were more complicated than merely saying don’t be mean to him! There were so many layers to behavior and motivations that it was difficult to parse out and dissect the bits that were awful.

Cale was, if nothing else, a careful social surgain who was quite ready for the task.

The trouble was that he had a much more pressing problem to deal with than that dissection. It was surely linked to the bigger problem but as anyone experienced in the art of molding and manipulating hearts could attest, tackling a mere symptom before finding the root cause could do more damage than good.

Kim Roksu had been different lately.

It wasn’t just a distance with his peers, treating them with cold indifference that truly did not suit the boy, but he was even quite odd around Cale.

It can and should be noted that while children are people, so are adults. And adults quite frequently carry the years with them. Moments in time locked forever in a memory that influenced thoughts and behaviors. Sometimes as small as an effortless grace from years of etiquette burned into the soul, sometimes as large as a crippling fear that paralyzed and poisoned.

Cale’s soul had a lot of poison. Aside from the post traumatic stress disorder that resulted in a hypertension and inability to relax that had hilariously saved his new life and all the other little inconveniences twenty years of war could instill there was a significant issue from before all of that.

Before he was a soldier. Before he’d lost his family and home.

Poison remained from earlier years. When he was nothing but a worthless lout and the shame of his territory. The poison from every time that Basen flinched away from him. The poison from every time Lily avoided his eyes.

A poison that he’d concocted all on his own and swallowed like a stubborn fool.

Cale’s tired eye stared at the empty space between them as the poison paralized his limbs.

Ever since his return from the hospital, Roksu had been quieter than normal. At first he’d chalked it up to the surprise and fear. A reasonable reaction for a child.

But it was deeper than that.

On the shared bunk bed where they slept, Roksu always cuddled up to his brother and Cale was used to holding him close to chase his nightmares away.

Sometimes to chase Cale’s nightmares away.

War, loss, tragedy, and the pressure of protecting this defenseless child with his own frail child-like body. Whether it was the memories of a life he’d failed in or the pressure of the new life he’d been given, Cale had a lot of nightmares to chase.

Being able to feel the warmth of another, this small life that depended on him entirely, was quite a significant step in allowing Cale the bliss of rest. He could feel that Roksu was breathing. That he was safe. That he hadn’t lost him yet.

Now there was as much space between them as the tiny bunkbed would allow.

It wasn’t just during the dead of night but in the molassis of the day time, minutes and hours spent with Roksu avoiding his gaze. Avoiding talking to him at all. Avoiding even being in the same room as him.

Cale was perfectly bright enough to realize the true meaning behind Roksu’s behavior, if he was able to apply his thought to the matter properly he could come up with several good explanations. One of which was sure to be the actual reason.

But this was a poison that clouded thoughts and stole strength. An insidious poison that brought all of the worst explanations to the forefront of his mind and blinded him to the better ones.

A cruel poison.

He could remember when Basen first started to avoid him like this. When he’d succeeded in persuading the boy to avoid him and distrust him. The day that Basen had walked halfway towards him, papers from his studies clenched in hand, hopeful to tell his elder brother about his latest impressive accomplishment.

His footsteps had slowed and then stopped before he’d ever reached Cale. Then, with the wisdom of experience, Basen turned away and his retreating footsteps were the only remaining companion for Cale.

He’d thought it was a good thing at the time, even through the aching of his heart. He’d thought that he’d done the right thing.

He’d been able to quell the tiny and miserable thought that had wriggled it’s way poisonously that this was inevitable, it didn’t matter what he did or how he behaved, one day they would all realize they were better off without him .

He’d suppressed that day and many of the days to come.

But poison was persistent and this one found it’s way to burrow deep into Cale’s heart, awaiting the moment where it could bear it’s fangs and rush through his blood stream.

Roksu is sick of you.

You’re truly intolerable to be around.

Did you think this time would be different? Did you think you could protect him? You aren’t even deserving of his affection much less his life.

How long did it take this time? I think this is a new record. You really are a disgusting bastard. Not even a bleeding heart like Roksu can tolerate you.

It was pathetic watching you try so hard to be a ‘good older brother’. Do you even know what that means? Did you think stabbing his uncle made you a ‘good older brother’? Or how about the weeks you forced him to live on the streets or eat food from the garbage? You only ever made his life worse.

It would have been better for him if he’d been born alone or if you’d succumbed to the curse earlier. It would have been better if you’d never existed at all. No one wants a pathetic roach like you around.

Did you think he’d stay at your side just because he’s kind? You’ve been abandoned by kind people before. Kind people aren’t stupid. They can see how worthless you are and eventually they will all leave.

It’s only what you deserve.

Does that upset you? Do you want to give it another go? Wasn’t failing twice enough for you to realize what the problem has always been?

You know that the children are cruel to him because of you. You know that you ruined his life. Is the curse even his or is it another bit of bad luck you gave him? How happy he could have been if you’d never been born.

It was inevitable that he would grow to hate you.

Disgusting roach.

Cale closed his eyes and attempted to find sense. A center of logic away from the poison. Away from the despair it brought, clinging and cloying at him.

In the darkness of the night and his squeezed lids, Cale heard another sound alongside the varying breaths of sleeping children. A familiar laugh…

And then it was gone and all he heard was the suppressed hiccup of the boy lying next to him.

Cale opened his eyes, expecting to see that Roksu had woken up but he still saw the distinct pattern of breathing of the unconscious. He sighed.

What had he expected? What would he have done even if Roksu was awake?

Here and now with nothing to protect him, the poison was at its strongest. He turned away from Roksu and fought the urge to do something very childish indeed. Of course regardless of your maturity, there was little anyone could do to stop the sting of tears from clouding eyes or the way shoulders shook with silent sobs.

He hadn’t suppressed tears like this in a very long time. War didn’t offer a lot of time for hiding or feeling emotions.

A small hand touched his shoulder and Cale froze up, every sinue of his body stiff with panic.

“...Kwangsu…?”

Cale needed to look up and be a big brother. Show a strong face. Be the pillar that kept them going.

What’s the use? You’ve always been a worthless older brother. Intention changes nothing. You know that better than anyone, roach.

Cale’s breathing hitched and came out in a shuddering mess.

He was weak.

Roksu wasn’t the one who needed him, he was the one who needed Roksu.

He turned around, wrapping his arms around Roksu and hiding his unshed tears in his shirt. “...please don’t hate me… I’m sorry… I’ll do better…”

He’d find a way to be a good brother. He’d find a way to give Roksu the childhood he deserved. He’d find a way to protect him. He wouldn’t give up. No matter what happened, he couldn’t give up.

He’d never been good at giving up.

Roksu’s hesitant arms wrapped around him in a trembling hug and he heard Roksu’s own watery voice. “It’s not your fault. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I could never hate you.”

Scared and alone and unable to protect anything or anyone, the pair gave in to tears that were swallowed up by the night in an embrace that was a panacea.

Chapter Text

Cale woke up with a shame-hangover.

The embarrassment did allow him a certain clarity of mind though. The toxic thoughts that had clouded his vision started to fade away. All that was left was the throbbing from his healing broken arm that his brother was resting on and the knowledge that he’d been acting like an idiot.

Even if Roksu did hate him, that didn’t change his responsibilities to the child. Getting emotional and weak over a few bad days was a privilege for a person leading a better life.

Cale didn’t have that kind of time. With the luck his current life offered him he’d be lucky if he didn’t lose his arm after a simple break. It was just that kind of situation.

Roksu was still asleep, crying himself to exhaustion with puffy eyes and cuddled against Cale’s cast like it was a comfortable pillow.

Considering the number of questionable things Roksu had used as a pillow in his short life, this probably wasn’t that uncomfortable.

Despite the discomfort and pain, Cale didn’t have the heart to immediately dislodge him. Besides, he’d need to gather his thoughts.

Clearly Roksu didn’t hate him and that meant that the reasons for his recent coldness weren’t so clean cut. Cale dreaded whatever had been going on inside of that tiny head. It was surely something dreadful.

It was obvious when he wasn’t looking at it through the toxic lenses of his own warped feelings.

Roksu’s behavior had changed after Cale’s injury. Roksu had begun to piece together just why exactly the people around him always suffered.

Cale knew that Roksu had some inkling that he was the source of this nasty curse but he’d hoped that Roksu would never have to deal with it long enough to realize the common thread between himself and those who suffered or died.

Everyone Roksu loved.

In a way, every death defying instance that Cale experienced was tangible proof that his brother loved him. A twisted affirmation. Cale sort of wished he’d thought about that before spiraling with negativity. The three or more instances where he’d barely dodged death’s looming scythe over the last two weeks would have been more than enough proof that Roksu still cared.

The moment of weakness had luckily passed though and now he could go about the difficult task of assuring Roksu that there was truly no level of danger that was going to convince his older brother to leave him.

What a difficult needle to thread… Cale let out a low sigh, watching as Roksu stirred in response. Tired brown eyes opened, blurry and red from crying. Despite his tragic life, Roksu really wasn’t a child who cried very much at all. Every time he did Cale felt the weight of it. How hard he must have been pushing himself to become this distressed. How much pain he was holding inside.

Cale hoped that one day Roksu could feel comfortable crying. It wasn’t right that such a small child couldn’t openly express his pain.

In his heart, Cale promised himself that he’d get Roksu a life that allowed him to be a complete brat.

“We need to talk.” He said quietly and Roksu nodded, frowning nervously.

Silly kid. He probably thought he’d done something wrong. Well, he had, but Cale would never hold that against him. Kids were supposed to make silly mistakes here and there. They weren’t supposed to have the threat of death looming over them if they fucked up.

Roksu sat up and Cale hid the pain that radiated from his broken arm, slipping his feet over the edge of the bed and towards the hallway. They didn’t want to wake up all the other sleeping kids or be overheard by any early risers. With the practiced ease of two delinquents, they snuck up the stairs to the rooftop. Cale had long since pinched one of the staff keys so he was able to sneak in and out of anywhere in the building.

With the level of danger he lived in, he couldn’t risk there being a locked door he couldn’t open.

The early dawn light kissed the rooftop as the two settled down, shutting the door behind them and watching the gentle red and orange colors fill the sky.

Silence overtook them and granted a respite. Roksu was naturally a bit on the quiet side and Cale was comfortable enough in himself to appreciate the peace of silence.

The siblings watched the sunrise ever so slightly on the horizon, consumed by their own individual thoughts.

Cale was the one to break the silence.

“I’m sorry about last night.” Those weren’t the right words but they were sincere. Cale regretted allowing himself to become so consumed with his own trauma that he wasn’t able to appropriately address Roksu’s.

Roksu shook his head. “...I’m the one who should be sorry.”

“No.” Cale said firmly, his eyes moving to stare Roksu down with the intensity of his emotion. “Never apologize. You have nothing to be sorry for.”

A lie. But it was a lie that Cale would scream from the rooftops and cram into every corner of Roksu’s mind until he believed it.

Silence took them again and Cale let out a small sigh.

Truthfully, there was another matter that was bothering him. It wasn’t nearly as important as what they ought to talk about but he couldn’t help the way it haunted his thoughts.

“...you read a lot, right?”

Roksu nodded. It was a redundant question, ever since Roksu had the ability to do so he’d taken every opportunity to find solace in fiction. Even before their unorthodox orphandom, Roksu seemed to really find enjoyment in comics or storybooks.

Cale had made a point of picking up any book he could find for his brother although they’d lost access to that meager library after they ran away. There were some books in the group home though and it was a relief to see Roksu reading again.

Roksu’s fondness for fiction wouldn’t be notable to Cale at all, it was just that Cale had some rather complicated feelings about fantasy as a genre.

All the things that he would have considered normal in any sensible world were fictional and fantastical, childish to believe in at all. And yet so many of the details were quite similar to his world.

Sometimes it caused Cale to wonder about a connection between the worlds. Perhaps he hadn’t been the only person reborn with all of his memories from another life in another world, perhaps the entire genre had been pioneered by those who just wrote about mundane stories from their old home. It always made Cale curious to meet fantasy writers, especially ones that wrote about worlds that held any resemblance to his own.

For now, fantasy offered him a useful tool to open a conversation he never wanted to have but one that he couldn’t quite help.

The fresh pain from all of his wandering thoughts hadn’t quite faded.

“I wanted to tell you a story.”

Roksu sent his brother a confused look but nodded. Cale usually spoke with crass certainty or blunt eloquence and hardly ever bothered with indirect explanations or flights of fancy.

“I heard it once a long time ago and I’ve been trying to find the book.” Cale said by way of explanation. “Since you read more than I do, I was wondering if you could help me look.”

“What’s it about?”

Cale smiled sadly, looking out onto the sunrise. “A family.”

Maybe that wouldn’t have been the focus of any book relating to his world. Maybe that was a ridiculous ask. Maybe he was too hurt to care.

He just missed them so much that it burned and he wanted to tell at least one person. Just someone to know that they existed. Even though they weren’t alive in anyone’s memories but his own.

Even though every single one of them were dead.

How was it that even now he was the only survivor?

He knew exactly how it felt to be the only one left among so many corpses. He knew what that pain meant. He’d never let Roksu experience the same. That’s why he had to live.

“There were two… three children. Two mothers. A father. And a servant.” Cale went on, not really able to look at Roksu as he spoke. He felt embarrassed, bringing them up now. Talking about the people Roksu had no reason to care for.

Perhaps he was still weak.

“The father was a Count of a large and wealthy territory. He did his best to be fair and kind to others. He did his best as a father as well, although he wasn’t always perfect.”

It felt so petty after he’d died. All the grudges and pain that Cale had held in his heart for the imperfections of his father. Deruth had never been a perfect man and there were many times he’d failed as a father but he’d never been cruel and there was always love there, even when Cale couldn’t believe in that love.

“The mother… she was a lively and kind woman. She…” How was it that all these years later he still wasn’t able to properly talk about her? It was a sad thing but remembering her still brought a sharp pain to his chest and a desire to crawl in her lap. In the days before he’d known that there was anything truly terrible in the world and he felt his mother could protect him from the darkness. He’d never properly grieved. “She died when the eldest son was young.”

He went on, describing little things he remembered. The way Basen always clicked his tongue when he noticed an incongruency in his studies. The way Lily bounced when she was excited, regardless of how large the weapon she was carrying was. The way Violan always left a chair for him to sit beside his father and how he never took it, her elegance and respectability going unquestioned. How his father couldn’t hide his emotions very well at all and bumbled about with the best of intentions. How his mother had an unforgettably bright personality, treating every stumble like an opportunity. How she grinned mischievously and helped him pull harmless pranks. How Ron had taken her place after her death, giving him sour drinks knowing that he hated them just so that the mischief of Jour Henituse remained alive and well. How precious and irreplaceable everyone had been in his heart.

He got so caught up in all the details and consumed by the memories that he didn’t always quite manage to hide his own emotions.

But Roksu listened to it all attentively. He sat by his twin's side and held his hand while Cale described a story all about a complicated but ultimately loving family. It was comforting in a way. All the millions of words just to describe simple people in complicated times.

Roksu couldn’t know why this story was so important to Cale but he committed it all to memory, knowing that it was important to him. He noticed that Cale said precious little about the eldest son but he made no comment.

Cale squeezed his hand softly when he’d finally satisfied the compulsion. He looked at Roksu, his expression complicated and pained. “You’re my family. Even if you start to hate me or you get sick of my nagging, I won’t go anywhere.”

Ah, maybe Roksu could understand why Kwangsu couldn’t forget this story. Just a bit.

Roksu nodded, looking down at his feet.

He wanted to protect Kwangsu and breaking off their relationship seemed like the safest way to do that. To pretend he didn’t love his brother.

But that would leave Kwangsu alone.

Roksu needed to find a new way of thinking. What good was saving a person’s life if you stole their home in the process? If Cale had been privy to Roksu’s thoughts he would have been truly taken aback by where the child’s thoughts were leading.

Roksu wasn’t naive enough to misunderstand the cruelties of reality and the inescapability of tragedy. But the truly unique way Kim Roksu thought meant that he just didn’t accept that reality.

He’d just have to find a way to change it. A way to protect Kwangsu from both the curse and from loneliness.

It was the very first hint of the man Kim Roksu would become. A person who created space for miracles and conned reality into making it happen.

“Okay.” Roksu said, his lip twitching. His brother seemed to make the impossible into the possible just about every day. How hard could it be? “Just keep your promise.”

Cale smirked confidently, tilting his chin upwards in that arrogant way that drove people absolutely mad with annoyance. “Of course.”

Chapter Text

Reality was wrong.

Once or twice was easy to dismiss as his own insanity playing tricks on him. Trauma, imagination, starvation, sleep deprivation–he’d lost track of the number of excuses he’d made for the varying flickers he experienced.

He drew the line when it became apparent that he wasn’t alone.

Children spreading rumors about the strange things they saw or heard tickling his ears, adults whispering about moments where they could swear they saw something that couldn’t be real.

By the time the incongruities were appearing on the news, Cale knew that the truth was undeniable.

Something decidedly fanciful was happening to his new reality.

This thought brought Cale absolutely no comfort. Anything and everyone he might miss from his old life was dead and the last he’d been alive their chances of beating the monster behind it all were looking pretty grim.

If this was indicative of his old world leaking in then all that meant was South Korea was about to become one of many landscapes covered in dead mana and entirely inhabitable or, even worse, one of the territories that the White Star ruled under his grasp.

Cale had some hope that modern weaponry could potentially be effective against him but not a lot.

It brought to mind a concern that Cale thought about every so once in a while. A concern that filled his stomach with dread.

Choi Han.

Not the man himself. Cale couldn’t give a flying rat’s ass about the person he’d known contentiously during the twenty year war. With regards to Choi Han the man all Cale cared about was whether or not he actually succeeded in lopping off the White Star’s head.

But the name. It was a name that had struck him as so strange and suspicious when he met the creepy bastard. Everything about Choi Han had looked quite strange and off-kilter.

In Korea, Choi Han was a dime a dozen.

From the dark hair and eyes, the almond shaped eyes, the weird name–all of it aligned perfectly with a Korean citizen.

Cale tried not to think about it because the thought meant that it was possible for a person to leap through worlds not just through rebirth, but also as a person. With all their memories and strength intact.

If Choi Han could travel from Korea to Roan… then the White Star could travel here. Spreading all of the sadistic destruction he liked in the name of his megalomaniacal dreams.

It meant that there was no possibility of protecting Kim Roksu because if someone like the White Star were to realize that he could rule a whole other world, there was no way that his insatiable greed wouldn’t force him to try.

Cale grit his teeth as he crouched down by a flower that definitely didn’t belong here and cursed how powerless he was here. It took all of his time and resourcefulness just to stay alive because of the curse. He had no time to train himself in swordsmanship, much less the money to seek out any weapons or appropriate training. There was a limit to how much he could train his own tiny body and again, the restraints of being constantly threatened by his twin brother’s death curse really didn’t help things.

“...I want a fucking grenade launcher.” He told the flower, tempted to kick it. “No. I want a tank.”

He knew that wouldn’t do much to help them once the golems came but the idea of firing a tank at the White Star and blowing the bastard to smithereens had a certain appeal that Cale couldn’t deny.

The person responsible for killing everyone Cale knew and loved was just beyond the cracking veil between worlds.

It was as though there was a god above with a specific vendetta against Cale. Haha, let’s kill his family. Ooooh, then let’s kill him after twenty years of war! Oh! Oh! I know, after that, let’s send him to a new world with a new life and give him a cursed brother that constantly threatens his life! Oh drat, that’s not quite enough… I know! Let’s give them an abusive uncle, kill their parents, and just for giggles allow for the guy who murdered him last time to get another go at it!

Really. What the actual fuck. The god’s were all fucking sadists and if Cale ever had the opportunity, he’d wring a neck or two. Well, first he’d figure out which one specifically was responsible for Roksu’s curse and create an extra special pain just for him.

“...what are you looking at?”

Cale looked up from the flower and side, standing up and shrugging. Roksu looked healthier these days and Cale could tell that school was doing him good. The first semester had been a bit rocky but it was well worth it to see Roksu some distant sliver of normalcy.

Cale liked school well enough. He didn’t think it would be all that useful to him but it wasn’t actually hard and it gave him time to think about how fucked they were all going to be when the White Star made his grand entrance. His only real complaint about going to school was that he was in a different class from Roksu. After spending the first eight, nearly nine years of his new life practically inseparable from his twin it became rather disconcerting to be apart.

“Weird fucking flower.” He said with another shrug, adjusting his book bag as he walked alongside Roksu. “What kept you?”

“...the school counselor wanted to talk.” Roksu said, a deflated note of annoyance to his voice. Roksu had developed what could be defined as a strained tolerance for the concern of adults around them. Perhaps it was due to all of the varying failures the adults around them had managed to achieve with spectacular regularity or maybe Roksu was just growing into his cynically rebellious stage. Either way, Cale thought it was a bit cute.

“What about this time?” Cale asked.

“She thinks I should join a club?” Roksu said.

“Are you gonna?” Cale asked, a touch curious.

“No.”

They left the conversation with just that while they walked, Cale pondering if Roksu wanted to join a club and chose not to due to their financial constraints or if he just thought the idea was tiresome. Knowing Roksu it could be either one.

Things had finally calmed down into a new normal for them and it was finally a normal that was somewhat sustainable. So long as the orphanage allowed them to stay, they had just enough financial support to maintain the bare necessities of food, education, and shelter. Sometimes they could even afford small luxuries. For example, Cale’s hair never had the opportunity to fade out. Roksu was quite dedicated to prioritizing that they always found the time and money to buy more dye if they needed it.

It really wasn’t necessary but Cale would be a liar if he didn’t say that he appreciated it.

His mother was the first person to give him red hair.

His twin brother was the second one.

It meant something to him, more than just the aesthetic value. It was worth having to argue with teachers about his apparent delinquency.

It was amazing what inanity people found the time to care about with the apocalypse potentially just around the corner. Then again, Cale couldn’t blame them. They had no way of knowing just what horrors lay just beyond the veil.

Cale did have the mind to warn them. However the more pressing question was how . It was hard enough to get adults to take him seriously on very basic issues such as I am a poor orphan in need of food , attempting to get them to believe in a crazy man with a god-complex and magic powers who was coming to destroy the world so that he could rule over what remained of it… yeah, Cale just didn’t have the kind of influence.

He did wonder about telling Roksu though. His hesitance lingering not because Roksu was unlikely to believe him but rather because he didn’t want to fill Roksu with brand new fears when they’d only just found a tentative peace.

The knowledge sent shivers of sheer terror flowing through Cale’s veins and he was an adult who’d seen all the horrors that war had to offer. How would the news affect Roksu with no defense against it?

“You’re doing it again.” Roksu dryly pointed out.

“Hm?” Cale replied, looking up at him.

“Getting worried on your own. It’s a bad habit.” Roksu the hypocrite pointed out.

Cale rolled his eyes. “So now you’re an expert in reading me?”

“Yes, I am.” Roksu said.

Cale chuckled. Roksu had such a matter-of-fact way of saying things. It was unintentionally comical.

Roksu did have something of a point though. Cale frowned thoughtfully before he spoke. “What do you think about all the weird shit that people are talking about lately?”

“...like the weird flower?” Roksu asked, a bit too observant for Cale’s comfort.

“Yeah.” Cale said. It was quite possible that Roksu hadn’t been exaggerating about being an expert in reading him. The thought was unnerving for more than one reason, not least of which the number of secrets that Cale kept.

Roksu lapsed into silence as he considered his answer carefully. “I don’t think about it.”

“...ha?” His fantasy loving younger brother who was never far away from fiction if he could help it and he didn’t put much thought into literal fantasy leaking into reality? Cale felt like he’d missed an important memo.

Roksu shrugged. “It’s not my business. I just want to live a quiet and peaceful life.”

Cale blinked owlishly at his brother as the reply fully registered.

Then he let out a disbelieving laugh.

It would certainly become Roksu’s business if Cale’s worst fears were to come into fruition. It would become everyone’s business very quickly.

And yet despite the naivety of it, Cale liked Roksu’s perspective on it.

Yeah. Why the fuck was Cale responsible for stopping this bullshit? Even when he’d been born with a better physique, money, and all of the resources he could desire to become strong he hadn’t been able to do jackshit against that fucking White Star.

He deserved a bit of peace and fucking quiet.

So the world was going to end? So what? Ultimately didn’t it all just boil down to a whole lot of not my fucking problem ? It was everyone’s problem and therefore, not Cale’s in particular. And maybe he’d get lucky and that idiot Choi Han would have actually managed to lop off the psychos head.

He doubted it though. Choi Han had never struck him as terribly dependable. Mostly just seemed like a psycho with a sword. Then again, that possibly made him a match made in heaven for that fucking White Star. Two psycho’s duking it out, maybe they’d get married and have three kids and never fucking bother Cale again.

He’d be quite happy with that result.

“You really just go at your own pace, huh.” Cale commented with a shitty grin.

Roksu frowned, looking somewhat wronged. “I don’t want to hear that from you.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Cale the inconsiderate asked.

Roksu the hypocrite just rolled his eyes in response.

Altogether it was a peaceful day that had been sandwiched by many other peaceful days. A moment of respite for the twins that was quite neatly encased inside of years of trial.

The gods weren’t so merciful as to grant such sweetness without planning many more ways to break them in the years to come. After all, what fun was it to allow for despair when one didn’t know what it was to lose hope and warmth?

Cale and Roksu walked back to their temporary home oblivious to all of this, faintly planning out a future where they really could live in peace. Get through their mandatory education, get shitty jobs. Rent a crappy apartment together. Rest peacefully in the knowledge that no one could beat them or kick them out or starve them and they could achieve that humble happiness together.

If they could just pull it off, then they could be happy. They weren’t asking for anything grand. Just a below average shitty life. Just the ability to live.

Chapter Text

Just because they’d achieved some very basic stability that didn’t mean that it was time to quit scamming. In fact, when the going was good that was the best time of all. Get some savings to purchase a better future, encourage a few well off chumps to part with their pocket change.

It was how they had enough money to have the courage to even walk into this building without shying away with the knowledge that cash was the only thing that moved the hearts of others.

Cale had decided not to worry so much about the potentially impending apocalypse but that didn’t mean he was gratified with remaining a stick thin malnourished orphan with only his memories as a soldier giving him an edge in hand-to-hand combat.

Once upon a time, Cale had actually been quite good with a weapon. He’d had a preference for projectiles but anything would do so long as he was able to use it. He’d probably had the most experience training with a sword and thus that knowledge was what had drawn him towards the dojang where other youths were happily practicing with fake weapons that their parents lovingly paid for to deal with their excess energy.

Cale and Roksu entered along with one such parent, probably looking like someone’s siblings, and sat on the sidelines watching the training.

Cale frowned at what he saw. Overall the lesson didn’t appear useless , it definitely gave the children some basic stamina and skills, but it reeked of the ‘martial arts’ of peaceful times. These children weren’t training to use a weapon, they were playing a game.

There was only one child among them who caught Cale’s eye as exhibiting skill and discipline but it was clear that was due to the child’s independent abilities and not the exceptionalism of this class.

It wouldn’t be worth his money to enroll. All the training they offered he could do for himself for free. Cale would have left right then but a glance at Roksu proved that his brother was still quite interested in the sight. He’d also caught sight of the single talent in the room and was watching his movements with rapt attention.

Cale settled down in his spot. It wouldn’t hurt just to watch if this was something Roksu enjoyed. If it turned out that Roksu actually had an interest in learning this stuff then he’d teach him or even enroll him in this course. He doubted that was the case though. Roksu didn’t like physical exercise if he could help it.

It was meditative just to watch. Cale was reminded of Lily despite himself and sometimes he’d allow his eyes to unfocus and imagine that one of the eagerly swinging youths was his long dead baby sister.

She used to hold onto his finger when she was a baby, gurgling at him with wide innocent eyes and testing out different facial expressions with a toothless grin. She used to trail after him sometimes and watch him train, her expression lit with eagerness. She used to train in places where she knew he could see her, as though she wanted to show off everything she’d learned to her trashy older brother.

She used to smile, bright and fearless, as she toddled over to him on shaky feet that had only just learned to walk.

Lily Henituse didn’t deserve the death she got.

Cale snapped out of his revere, memories of burnt corpses and disembodied threatening loved ones threatening to overtake his sensibilities. He refocused on the children in front of him and let out a shaky breath.

Roksu wordlessly held his hand, still laser focused on the action. He probably hadn’t even realized he’d done it, subconsciously reaching out to hold Cale’s hand whenever the bad thoughts threatened to swallow him.

Dammit. Why did Cale always have to have such amazing younger siblings? His life would be a lot easier if he was surrounded by intolerable brats. He closed his eyes and breathed in slowly, smiling despite himself.

It was just Roksu’s second nature to be warm and kind. Why the fuck did bad things always happen to good brats like him? Cale wouldn’t let this end in smoke and blood again.

One way or another, Roksu would have a happy and peaceful life. No matter who Cale had to stab to make it happen.

When the class finally ended and parents approached their sweaty children with towels and words of prideful encouragement or scolding disappointment, Cale knew it was time for them to go as well. Before anyone realized that they actually weren’t related to anyone and they didn’t intend to become paying customers either.

Roksu was lingering though and looking for the talented kid who caught his eye. Cale let him, weaving through the crowd with Roksu and thinking up his excuse if they were noticed. He was about halfway through thinking up a way to turn it into a profitable scam when a hand touched his shoulder.

Cale’s tug on Roksu’s hand caught his attention as well and Cale looked up into the face of an unassuming teenager who smiled at them. “You shouldn’t be here.” He chastised.

The teen was benign looking. Even looked on the timid side. Just a kindly older kid warning kids from doing something bad.

…so why did every single hair on Cale’s body stand on end as all he could think was danger , he’s dangerous , run .

Maybe it was the benign look to him. It was so perfect as to be calculated. Cale knew a man once who had made an artform of looking kind and warmhearted. Smiling like a sweet old grandfather with knives danced at his fingertips.

Maybe it was how timid his appearance made him look. Cale had a friend who looked for all the world like a pushover but would quite mercilessly bowl an unsuspecting fool over with his hard-headed determination.

Danger flashed behind his eyes and he tried to subtly position himself between the teen and Roksu.

Maybe it was the years spent on the battlefield with nothing but his instincts and guts to keep him alive when Arm was always willing to pull cruel and dirty tricks. That same instinct for danger that kept him alive for ten years as Kim Kwangsu.

The feeling of danger crawled under Cale’s skin with millions of sharp legs, burrowing into his veins and leaving a chill with its slimy trail.

The teen looked entirely unbothered. “Do you know how to get home?”

Cale clenched Roksu’s hand protectively and pulled his shoulder away from the teen. “We’re leaving.” He sneered, old habits informing him to respond to the danger as he always had.

Fearless and barking.

“Mind your own fucking business and don’t touch me.” He finished, backing away from the teen with Roksu in toe but refusing to turn his back on him until he was a few feet away.

“Who’s that?” Roksu asked quietly as they made their way from the building in a hurried scurry. It was unusual for Cale to have such a severe reaction to anyone who didn’t pose obvious danger.

“No fucking idea.” Cale said, glancing back to make sure the creepy bastard hadn’t followed them. “Gives me the fucking creeps.”

Roksu hadn’t noticed anything weird about the teen but he trusted Cale’s instincts. Cale was very rarely wrong about impending danger.

When they made it to a park, Cale finally seemed to untense. “I don’t think he followed us.” He sighed, slumping down on a bench while keeping a vigilant eye on their surroundings. That was just typical of him though, vigilance was what kept Cale alive.

Roksu nodded and sat alongside his brother.

“You really liked watching, huh?” Cale said. It was best to change the topic now that the danger had passed.

Roksu shrugged. “I’ve never seen that sort of thing in person.” Roksu said it like he wasn’t at all interested but Cale knew better.

Cale patted his back. “Let me know if you want to go back. We can always sneak in again. If we become a regular face there, we’ll actually be less likely to be caught. People have a tendency to accept familiarity as normalcy.”

The weather caressed the tee tops with a gentle wind and the sun dances along the leaves to a staccato vision of the world, gentle and warm. It was a good day to be out and about. Cale had initially planned to do a bit of scam-work after they’d taken a look at the dojang but they’d spent more time there than Cale had initially intended and more importantly, there were days that were about more than making money.

Days where it was best to just enjoy being with his brother and knowing that they were both still alive.

Cale caught the telltale signs of a crack in reality, a tree a few yards away that looked unnatural for this world, but he didn’t pay it much mind. After some years he’d grown to accept that he couldn’t jump out of his skin every time a piece of fauna crossed over. Apparently the rest of the world felt much the same as much of the initial panic dwindled and the only interest that remained was with those who hoped to investigate.

For the average person, it just became a new part of life.

It was amazing how people adjusted to the abnormal. Cale grinned to himself and leaned back against the bench. He was the one who’d adjusted the most. Accepting a new world and a new family without batting an eyelash, he really was unbelievably flexible. People really needed to appreciate his patience more.

Roksu had pulled out a book from his bag and begun to read, signaling that he was checking out of their earlier conversation in favor of reading about some munchkin protagonist saving a fantastical world from danger.

Cale scoffed to himself. If that sort of thing was realistic then that psychotic swordsman would have saved the world twice over. Still, he couldn’t begrudge Roksu’s interest in a more optimistic fantasy world where heroes didn’t lose and villains always had a fatal flaw. He’d probably like it too if he wasn’t so jaded from his experiences.

It was a good day.

The sun and the wind didn’t grant him any warning but Cale still saw it coming. He instinctively dove from the bench, holding onto Roksu as the splitters of where they’d just been sitting cut his face but he didn’t care.

His eyes were locked on what had nearly killed them both.

Perhaps he’d just gotten too good at dodging death. Perhaps whatever god was up there had watched as Cale slunk through life and defeated the odds for ten shitty years, rolled up his sleeves, and said challenge accepted .

Perhaps he’d heard Cale’s arrogant thoughts of living his life to the fullest and never accepting defeat and said hold my beer before preparing his next move.

Perhaps he’d thought to himself it would be really funny if I pulled something like that when he least suspected it and waited and waited and waited until the day that Cale was seemingly unprepared and unwary to reveal his new and inventive method.

Perhaps god was just a fucking asshole.

Cale stared with mounting horror at the goblin who turned its attention away from the shattered bench, inspecting its club thoughtfully before lifting it up yet again to crush the two cowering children into a fine paste.

Perhaps Cale would have better luck in the next life.

Cale didn’t intend to find out.

He rolled out of the way of the club, Roksu still tucked into his arms and managed to drag him to his feet as Cale got up to run.

There was only one goblin.

Shit.

It was a goblin .

Shit .

Cale had been doing his best to ignore the possibility that the fantasy elements infecting this world weren’t of any relation to his own. Theoretically, if there were two worlds then there could be more. Who was to say that it would be his world?

That was unmistakably a goblin. A goblin that Cale couldn’t help but recognize as the mutated type normally found in the Dark Forest. How he knew that was a whole other stupid story that he had no time to reminisce upon.

It was just one goblin.

Cale pulled Roksu along and ran like hell.

Just one and maybe they could escape. Just one and maybe they could live.

Cale met with Roksu’s panicked eyes and knew that Roksu wasn’t prepared for this at all. He saw the third swing just in time and dodged to the side, rolling to the ground with Roksu and turning his attention back to the goblin.

Cale grit his teeth.

He wanted to tell Roksu to run and while he distracted the damn thing but what good would that do him? He was assuming there was only one but if Roksu ran into another while trying to escape… Cale grit his teeth.

It was really annoying when oncoming death disrupted his day.

Chapter Text

Kim Roksu’s memories of the events from that day were uncharacteristically blurry. He never struggled to remember much so in its own way, the events from that day stuck out to him.

He remembered the goblin attack. A lot of people experienced attacks that day. All of a sudden and without warning the tear between realities caused all sorts of things to wander into their world. Some were as benign as rabbits or strange wild animals that wouldn’t bother humans if humans didn’t bother them.

Some were monsters.

There were rumors about people as well but Roksu hadn’t really wanted to know that much about it.

He could remember the burning in his lungs as he ran as fast as he could away from the impending death of the goblin’s club. He could remember Kwangsu’s muted panic as he tried to keep them both alive, staying all too alarmingly calm as he dealt with the situation the best he could.

Roksu knew that his twin brother was incredible but it was still shocking how quickly he adjusted when Roksu had felt paralized with fear.

He remembered that it was almost over and then… well, things got blurry from there.

He remembered walking with Kwangsu back to the orphanage, bruised and cut and limping. Holding Kwangsu’s trembling hand as his brother stared ahead with a severe weighing down his expression.

He remembered the way the sunset had felt too red.

He remembered seeing blood on the ground and Kwangsu scolding him not to look.

And he remembered Kwangsu sitting him down in the bathroom and mutely bandaging him up. Kwangsu wasn’t normally so quiet but Roksu didn’t dare to break the silence. All he could do was insist on cleaning Kwangsu’s injuries as well.

That night they didn’t sleep much.

They pretended to, huddled up with their scared peers as adults could be heard arguing everywhere and children cried. It was a long night full of uneasiness. No one was sure what tomorrow would bring.

As though the prior day had been nothing but a fluke, or perhaps a warning of what was to come, the world calmed down. Most of the danger at least appeared to have passed and the thin line between worlds returned to the benign state of glimpses, noises, and faunas from an unreality.

Kwangsu still didn’t speak much the following day though. Or the day after that.

It was the third day when Kwangsu brought Roksu back up to the rooftop where they’d had their last talk. The previous conversation still weighed heavily on Roksu’s thoughts but he tried not to think about it too hard most days.

He instinctively knew that today was the day that ignorance ended.

Unlike last time, it was late evening darkening the sky. Roksu was reminded of their silent walk home after the goblin attack as hues of red overtook a blue sky. His grip on Kwangsu’s hand tightened anxiously as he waited for his twin to speak.

“...do you believe in rebirth?” Kwangsu said finally.

Roksu gave it some thought before he replied. “Should I?”

Kwangsu quirked a smirk at him and Roksu, despite his normal skepticism towards most things spiritual or paranormal, thought maybe he did believe a bit.

Weirder shit had happened, right?

“Cale Henituse.”

Roksu cocked his head to the side, the foreign name sounding more like gibberish than anything else. Kwangsu let out a nervous chuckle.

“That was my name. Before I was Kim Kwangsu.”

Roksu opened his mouth and closed it again, rethinking his words and deciding to listen instead. He couldn’t precisely pinpoint why but Kwangsu’s words were making him anxious. It was a ridiculous and childish claim, one that didn’t suit Kwangsu at all. How many children fantasized about being reborn or living a grand life before, playing pretend about memories they didn’t actually hold? At ten years old, Roksu was already too old to believe in those fantasies.

Kwangsu had a mischievous side but he wouldn’t attempt to fool Roksu, especially not like this. He also was decidedly too mature to have such a childish fantasy.

Kwangsu had always been a bit too mature.

Roksu squeezed Kwangsu’s hand, insecurities building up by the second as the potential reality of the statement really made its home in his heart.

“That so?” He said, not sounding nearly as shaken as he felt.

Kwangsu snorted. “Yeah. That’s so.” He rested his chin on his knees and watched the colors fade from the sky. The fading colors of the sun danced along Kwangsu’s red hair. “I was forty years old when I died. I guess that makes me fifty now? I was… well, I was a lot of things. But I died as a soldier.”

It struck Roksu that Kwangsu wouldn’t tell him this for no reason. Not if he’d kept it secret for the past ten years. But he didn’t quite want to know the reason why.

He was scared.

It was just that simple. His twin brother who hardly left his side suddenly felt distant and strange all while remaining just the same. His world was changing and he didn’t have the means to achieve even meager stability.

Some part of him was scared that Kwangsu would disappear.

Kwangsu squeezed his hand back. Secure and reassuring. His ongoing promise never to go. Never to leave Roksu behind. He swallowed the insecurities that swelled inside of him and listened.

Listened to Kwangsu, Cale, describe a world different from their own. About monsters and dragons and magic and a war that consumed all who fought inside of it. Horrors of dead mana and black despair and the man who wielded all of it as a means to become a god.

He spoke distantly, as though he no longer saw the sky or Roksu, his eyes locked onto a past that was all his own.

And Kwangsu explained with an expression gaunt with dread that he suspected that all the creatures and snippets from another world had been leaking from his world. His old world. The place that was ravaged with war and likely under the dictatorship of a crazy bastard. A doomed world that could offer them nothing but death.

Roksu understood at last why Kwangsu was telling him.

The only thing more dangerous than an oncoming danger was to remain ignorant of that danger.

What was notably absent from Kwangsu’s story though was any personal details about himself. He said his name and that he was a soldier and avoided saying very much else.

It reminded Roksu of how he’d avoided talking about the eldest son in his ‘story’.

He swallowed thickly when it appeared that Kwangsu had finished what he had to say, his thoughts chaotic and his heart aching.

He couldn’t quite help himself from saying it.

“You had a father, two mothers, and two younger siblings?”

Kwangsu’s body tensed and he looked away to the horizon, unable to face Roksu for whatever reason.

“...yes.”

Roksu didn’t need to ask more to know.

The story Kwangsu told didn’t have an ending. It had been about so many mundane and tiny things about a loving noble family who owned a wealthy territory. It would have made a terrible novel if it was one, full of silly little things like how many times the youngest daughter would tap her plate when she didn’t like the food but didn’t want to admit it or how long the second son would spend studying on any given afternoon.

What was notable was that the story never extended past a certain age.

Aspects of the young girl’s life were described with exceptional detail from birth but there wasn’t a single story after the age of seven. Likewise, the younger brother wasn’t spoken about after the age of fifteen.

The eldest son was only three years older than him.

Cale Henituse died at the age of forty.

Roksu didn’t need to ask.

His exceptional memory provided all the puzzle pieces that he wished it didn’t.

He held Kwangsu’s hand firmly and leaned against his twin’s side. Roksu never had much of a death wish, if presented with the options to live or die he absolutely wanted to live. He hated pain and he hated death and he just wanted to achieve some stability to slack off for once.

But he’d never gone so far as to promise himself that he wouldn’t die.

It was a strange and awkward promise but it was necessary. The idea of Kwangsu once again outliving all of his family…

“I won’t leave.” Roksu said, wanting in some way to assure him.

Kwangsu tensed and shuddered. “...good. Me neither.”

A silly promise. What good could two weak children do against any of the odds against them? Even if Kwangsu had information and maturity from a previous life, there wasn’t anything they could do against a swinging goblin club. There wasn’t even anything they could do against the fist of their uncle or the reality of poverty.

They were powerless and small. Their bones were fragile and brittle. Their blood would surely paint the walls with viscera and their shrill screams wouldn’t even be heard. Helpless and pathetic and without any recourse at all. Whatever luck had helped them to survive the goblin attack wouldn’t happen twice and if more monsters crawled between the divide, they’d barely make a snack. If the true terrors leaked through and tainted their world then there might not even be anywhere left to run.

The concept that they would be able to protect themselves or each other was laughably naive. It truly showcased how innocent and ignorant children could be.

But it was a promise.

There’s no magic in promises. They’re just sweet words that dance on the wind and people attach meaning and belief to. There’s no consequence for breaking a vow aside from the ones between people. There’s no method of keeping promises and no likelihood of managing the feat.

However, between the two of them, there was a certain magic to the promise.

Not real magic. Nothing tangible. Nothing that could save them from their fate.

It wasn’t the strength of the god’s or the strength of mana wisping through the world.

It was the simple strength of two individuals.

The promise of Kim Roksu meant something. There was a merit to it that couldn’t be denied because Kim Roksu kept his promises. He kept his promises even when true magic tried to break them. A promise from Kim Roksu was as good as a vow made before a god. Better even, because Kim Roksu wasn’t as fickle as the gods.

Cale Henituse had broken a million promises and yet, never broken a single one. He was a queer and stubborn person who failed countless times to uphold the impossible but never gave up, even after death. A promise from Cale Henituse meant something because he truly would never give up on achieving it. Failure after failure and he’d still uphold the promise in his heart with absolute fidelity. A promise from Cale Henituse was better than magic because it didn’t need mana to fuel it. The crazy bastard just never gave up.

The pair sat in silence while the sounds of night descended and the world gave in to the darkness.

Except it didn’t, did it?

Roksu watched with a strange fascination as if he’d seen it for the first time. All the streetlights he’d never paid all that much mind to and the signs and sounds of a world that was still breathing.

They were resilient.

So long as people survived, they could move forward. One step at a time. One light in the darkness.

It gave Kim Roksu a strange sort of hope.

Three days ago, the night was alive with panic and fear. Tonight, people walked the streets as carelessly as ever. It was foolish and strange but he liked it. He liked the way people didn’t give up or cower in the face of tragedy.

He looked at his brother and smiled to himself.

It reminded him of the person he admired most.

Chapter Text

Some mistakes you can’t undo and you can’t make it better.

Some sins that permanently scar whatever remnants of a soul that might exist within a person. Raw and painful mistakes that leave their echoes throughout time and strangle breath away.

However, those sins and mistakes can all be packed away in a box neatly labeled ‘fuck that noise’ and shoved into the darkest possible corner of the attic because who the hell has time for such extradainary existential dread when there are still questions like how will I manage my next meal and will I live to see tomorrow weighing on the mind?

Cale was quite pleased to shove all of that to the furthest point away from him and his twin, Roksu, was more than happy to help him pack that box.

So, maybe the world was ending and maybe they were the only ones with a solid idea how or why. And perhaps everything they’d ever known had been something of an illusion with the stability of an elephant on a cracker.

They could spend their days in dread and horror or perhaps even cry out warnings of doom onto the deaf ears of the public.

Or they could make the much more sensible decision to dedicate themselves to achieving any future at all. Sure, maybe they’d be able to stop the world from ending if they poured everything they possibly had into the venture. And that maybe was doing a lot of heavy lifting considering all of the odds that were stacked against them. But even if they achieved that maybe and saved all of humanity that wouldn’t solve the much more salient question of how  do I avoid starving to death ? The orphanage would only watch over them for so long and after that, it would be up to them to make a living. They were still fairly cute eleven year olds but the amount of scams they got away with because they were cute and young were going to dwindle into none fairly soon as puberty hit. Soon it wouldn’t be what a scamp, alright kid you won fair and square and it would become that rotten teenager scammed me !

That wasn’t even mentioning that their meager savings from years of mischief wouldn’t do anything to support them once they were faced with bills and rent and taxes and all of the other financial obligations that came with adulthood.

Saving the world wouldn’t get them a solid job or a roof over their heads.

And so, Cale and Roksu dedicated their time to making a plausible and achievable plan to obtain financial stability by the time they reached adulthood. There were certainly still dimensional cracks and every so once in a while, a monster slipped through and caused some havoc, but society as a whole appeared to be adjusted quite well to the new normal. It helped that they lived in South Korea where military service was required of men between the ages of eighteen and twenty-eight. It meant that a significant amount of the adults in the country had military training.

Goblins weren’t pushovers but their skin wasn’t actually thick enough to bounce back a barrage of bullets.

Of course, not all the changes were for the best. A more heavily armed police force always introduced its own problems and there would always be those in power who were willing to take advantage of tragedy. Corruption lives on in the hearts of men and more armaments can only lead to more conflicts and so on and so forth.

But for the average person like Cale and Roksu, all this meant was that they could leave this matter to the corrupt government to deal with while they went on with living their lives to the best of their abilities. Why deal with an impossible problem when you could just delegate it to someone else?

Of course this entirely rational reasoning truly begged the question why they would spend their days off volunteering at shelters or in neighborhoods that had taken the brunt of the colliding realities.

The twins rationalized that volunteer work would look good on university applications and thus they were careful to document, date, and receive credit for all their work in the ways only a truly self centered bastard would. This logic became a little thinner though when, if they were questioned more thoroughly, neither of them had any plans to attend university. Wasting money on furthering their education was senseless when they needed to prioritize earning money.

Still, it couldn’t hurt to have documentation proving the hundreds of hours they’d spent assisting refugees and cleaning up destroyed homes. Besides, when they worked with an organization they were usually provided with free lunch. Overall, it was a good deal for them.

Cale kicked a piece of rubble with his foot and glared at the house that was in worse shape than a lot of the others. It was clear that the small family home had been ground zero for this particular rupture between realities.

It didn’t get easier to look at.

Even if there weren’t any signs that the residents hadn’t made it out alice, Cale was all too aware that being alive but homeless wasn’t necessarily a relief for many.

Sometimes the ravages of disaster lingered far longer than just the threat to life.

“We should take a break.” He announced to his twin who looked equally uneasy with the destroyed home. They had hours to finish work here. There was no need to exhaust themselves all at once while feeling like shit.

Roksu nodded but Cale could see in his eyes that his mind wouldn’t drift away from the task until it was completed. With a sigh for his hopeless twin, Cale took a large piece of rubble and patted the spot beside him for Roksu.

Roksu sat down and opened his backpack to retrieve the thermos of tea he’d packed for them both. The chilly air of early spring wasn’t worth enduring without a warm drink.

Cale could see Roksu’s breath in the air as he wordlessly poured tea for the both of them.

“Did you do this sort of thing back then?”

How rare. Cale took a sip of his tea as he contemplated how to answer. Roksu rarely questioned him about back then and his questions were normally logistical in nature. He’d already sensed that Cale wasn’t entirely at home with his past life.

“Sometimes. I was a soldier, right? Sometimes you get sent on restoration projects or you’re stationed in a ruined city or village without much to do.” Cale shrugged. “I’ve always been a bit better at destruction than restoration though.”

Roksu raised a curious brow and Cale rolled his eyes. He knew that Roksu wouldn’t ask but he’d speculate and somehow that would be worse.

“It wasn’t the best part of my life, alright? So, sometimes I took out my stress on shit that pissed me off. Like that asshole of a general who ordered us to plunder a village. Fucking garbage.” Cale sneered at the memory. “I don’t have any mercy for those Arm bastards but those villagers weren’t complicen. They weren’t given a choice. They were just forced to harbor the bastards. And by the time the order had come out, there weren’t even any of those Arm bastards left there.”

“...I feel like you did something extreme.”

Cale smirked crookedly. “He said it was fair game to plunder and burn them because they had aided and abetted evil. So, since he was spewing evil, I figured he’d agree with me that it was fair game to plunder and burn down his tent. And the tents of all the bastards who agreed with him.”

Roksu snorted. “Did you get caught?”

“Oh, I bragged about it.” Cale’s smile contained a subtle threat. “I wanted everyone to know what happens to bastards who think that’s fucking acceptable behavior.”

“And you weren’t dismissed and jailed for it?” Roksu’s expression was skeptical and Cale shrugged.

“They tried. I spent a few days in the brigs while they sorted the matter out. Apparently after some bigwigs reviewed the situation, they actually wound up siding with me and the general was the one who got dismissed. Still have no idea how that happened but it was useful to spread rumors that I had friends in high places. Made the threat that I’d do it again all the more salient.”

“You’re seriously crazy.” Roksu smiled as he spoke though. He was clearly proud of his vicious brother. It was enough to make Cale feel a bit shy.

He looked away. “Anyway, I was usually too busy causing trouble among the ranks to be much help with restoration. A lot of this work is largely new to me.”

“That so.” Roksu said.

The two of them finished their tea in a comfortable silence, each of their thoughts elsewhere.

Cale was the one to break the silence this time. “I think I’ll find construction work. As soon as I look old enough to lie about my age.”

“I’ll do it too.” Roksu said easily but Cale shook his head.

“Nah, you should stay in school. You’ve definitely got the better brain between us. If you learn enough shit, you might be able to get one of those cushy jobs that pay the big bucks.” Cale said.

“I can do both.” Roksu said, a touch defensively. “There’s no harm in padding out my resume. Besides, wouldn’t you be a mortal threat to any construction site you walked onto? Pillars dropping left and right in hopes of squishing you?”

Cale barked out a laugh. The pair of them had developed a somewhat morbid sense of humor about Cale’s near death experiences, something that Cale much preferred to somber silence about the matter.

Sometimes he wondered if Roksu only joked about it because he realized that.

“It’d make a good obstacle course.” Cale said cheekily. “Besides, surviving on the front lines for twenty years is always going to be more cumbersome than anything this garbage of a jinx can throw my way.”

“You’re ridiculous.” Roksu said. He stood up and held out a hand for Cale. “Ready to get back to it?”

Sometimes Cale really wondered what was going on inside of Roksu’s head. Most days he knew exactly what his twin was thinking. Roksu was an open book to him. But some days there was something mysterious about him, as though he really had thought several steps ahead and he was waiting for the whole world to keep up.

It was nothing but a passing feeling that Cale felt as he accepted Roksu’s hand, pondering why Roksu was suddenly curious about his life on the other side. It wasn’t necessarily a taboo subject between them and Cale was willing to share anything that Roksu wanted to know.

It was just an uncomfortable topic.

The pair worked well into the afternoon cleaning up rubble and collecting valuables for the surviving refugees to retrieve before they had lunch with the other volunteers and headed back to the orphanage together.

They had a fairly bright future ahead of them if nothing around them got worse. They’d achieved a fragile stability and their plans for the future were hardly unrealistic. If all that happened was the world collided very slowly with another world then they were set for life.

“Do you miss it there?” Roksu asked suddenly when they were nearly home.

Cale laughed. “What the fuck is there to miss? All of the dead people? No thanks, I can pay my respects just fine from here.”

“There’s no one you left behind who’s still alive?”

Ah.

It hit Cale quite suddenly.

Cale, in a decidedly un-cursed state, had lived a life that led to the very solitude that Roksu was ultimately cursed with.

By the time his life ended there wasn’t a single person in Cale’s life who he loved. It wasn’t uncommon by the time he died. Lots of his fellow soldiers were similarly suffering from the grief and loss that the war had wrought and were nearly suicidally dedicated to the fight.

But Cale’s life did offer a strange reflection of what Roksu’s life could become should a pillar succeed in squishing Cale or he was too slow to avoid a whizzing vehicle.

“There was no one.” Cale said. By the end, he hadn’t let himself love anyone. Even those he might have wanted to hold affection for. He’d been hollow and angry. “It wasn’t a good life.”

Roksu looked at his feet but Cale nudged him, a devil-may-care grin on his lips.

“That’s why I have every fucking intention of having a better go of it this time.”

Despite himself, Roksu found himself smiling in return.

Cale had a really infectious smile.

Chapter Text

Perhaps upping the ante when it came to scamming wasn’t their brightest idea ever. Concerns about money had been building up over the years and they had perhaps developed a bit of overconfidence in their abilities.

Well, mostly confidence in their ability to run away if shit got dangerous. They could afford to target people who might deserve it more than kindly old grandmothers and subsequently they could scam more money with a clear conscience.

Upping the stakes and upping the potential consequences. They’d moved beyond playing games in the park and into wallet scams. The trick of the wallet scam was that unless a person was willing to steal another person’s waller, they wouldn’t get scammed.

It was simple and clean and so long as they ran away quickly, they were unlikely to face any consequences from a person who was more than happy to steal another person’s wallet. What were they going to report to the police? I tried to steal a wallet and got scammed instead by a punch of punk kids ?

They were always careful not to show up at the same time though. Being twins made them automatically more recognizable. Cale’s red hair was also an overly recognizable feature so it was usually better for Roksu to be the face of the scam while Cale supported from the background.

That was why Cale wasn’t able to immediately pull the plug on their current scam when he spotted just who Roksu was talking to. Cale paled immediately as memory provided him with just where and when he’d seen him before.

It wasn’t just that it was the terrifying benign face he’d seen years ago now. Nor was it the fact that the face hadn’t changed one bit in that time. Although the memory of the very specific day that Cale had seen him burned into his memory was certainly concerning, that wasn’t his biggest reason for wanting to get his brother as far away from that bastard as possible.

It was the way the insane bastard looked up and made eye contact with Cale through the crowd that made his blood run cold. As though he’d seen through the entire trick and the only reason he hadn’t done something about it was for momentary entertainment.

Cale knew the guy looked dangerous. He cursed himself for not mentioning it to Roksu the first time he’d thought so. Then again–the man had somewhat disappeared from Cale’s memories after their encounter at the dojang. It was reasonable, considering all that happened afterwards, but it suddenly struck Cale as strange how thoroughly he’d forgotten about the suspicious looking bastard until this very moment.

He regretted the scam. All of them. No amount of money was worth endangering Roksu. His feet moved with the urgency of a man who knew he wouldn’t make it in time and spurred forth by sheer terror flooding through his veins.

The man smiled at him and returned the wallet to Roksu, walking away into the crowd without a word.

Cale still didn’t stop until  he’d reached his brother, pulling him back and sprinting away from the spot. Roksu, knowing better than to ask questions when Cale was so panicked, followed suit wordlessly.

The pair reached an empty alleyway and attempted to catch their breath.

“What’s wrong…?” Roksu asked between panting gasps, clutching his splitting side.

“That bastard–did he say anything to you?” Cale asked urgently, trying to determine the form this danger would take. It was possible that the teen had a baby face but he really looked like he hadn’t aged a day since the last time Cale had seen him. He even appeared to be wearing the same clothes.

Roksu shook his head. “Nothing out of the ordinary. He just returned the wallet and told me to take it to a police box.”

Cale wondered if they ought to go to a police box right now for completely separate reasons. He got chills thinking about the guy.

He’d looked right at Cale. As though he’d known from the start where he was. It was just enough to make Cale’s spine crawl, as though someone was still watching them right now.

“Do you remember him?” Cale asked insead. “From the dojang–the day the goblin attacked.”

Roksu’s face wrinkled in concentration before recognition dawned and Cale felt a certain amount of relief. He wasn’t going crazy. Roksu’s memory was scarily accurate, if his twin also remembered the guy then he was definitely the same guy.

“Do you know him?” Roksu asked, similar to his question from before.

Cale shook his head. “No. He just gives me the fucking creeps. I can’t put my finger on what but I swear that there’s something fucking wrong with that guy.”

Roksu nodded. He trusted Cale’s instincts. They’d kept him alive through many trials. If Cale said someone was sketchy, then they were probably dangerous.

Cale clenched his fist experimentally as he calmed down. He’d been moving on pure panicked adrenaline and now that he had the time to think, it was apparent that this was unlikely to be a coincidence. In fact, it was entirely possible that running away was playing into his hands.

Cale grit his teeth and took in their surroundings the best he could. He didn’t sense anyone’s eyes on them. But he also couldn’t say for sure that they were safe.

If he was right and it wasn’t a coincidence then they couldn’t be safe even if they turned around and left for home right now.

How frustrating. How completely annoying and bothersome and tiresome.

A hand reached out and held his own. Cale focused on Roksu, surprised at the sudden touch.

“Wanna hit him in the back?”

There was something decidedly impish about Roksu’s expression, a mischief and malice that actually caught Cale off guard. How completely reckless.

Cale grinned viciously. Sometimes he forgot how similar they really were. He certainly considered Roksu to be the better person, far kinder and far more patient than Cale could imagine being.

And yet Roksu also had a vicious streak that was far more vengeful than Cale’s own. He was the sort of person who liked to give as good as he got. With interest.

Roksu’s vengeance was patient and methodical.

Yeah. Cale was sick of wondering just who this creepy bastard was and he was definitely not in the mood to allow him to menace them. What was the thing they said about a good offense being the best defense?

The pair slipped out of the alleyway hand in hand. Less for comfort and more for the tactical benefit it offered. They didn’t have to spare the time to look for one another and they could focus all of their efforts on watching for the mysterious bastard or any other signs of danger.

The market street was still full of milling shoppers as evening pressed on but the crowds were beginning to thin out as the sun dipped low to invite twilight for tea. Roksu was the first to spot him, jerking Cale’s hand to bring his attention towards the target.

The unassuming looking teen was walking leisurely down the road in the direction of a park, causing Cale to frown as they followed behind. The repeated moment in time, a run-in with the inexplicable stranger, a park, and then… Cale didn’t want to imagine that there would be a goblin again. At least this time they had more options to run away. Authorities had also gotten better about patrolling areas where there was likely to be a rift.

Roksu squeezed his hand in an acknowledgement that he’d made the same association as well. The pair of them stayed a fair distance away from their target. Today was only for observation and it was better to lose him in a crowd than to get caught up in something dangerous.

Tension built up in Cale’s heart as the crowds thinned and soon there was very little to disguise their pursuit. If he were to turn around, he would see the pair of them. Cale had a nasty suspicion that he might already know they were following. He tugged on Roksu’s hand and ducked behind a tree with his brother.

Roksu sent him a questioning look but Cale shook his head, peering at the retreating figure from the cover the tree offered.

It was unreasonably alarming that the teen had taken a seat on a bench. Goosebumps ran along Cale’s arms and he got the unsettling feeling that he was only resting there so that the twins wouldn’t lose sight of him.

He’d also lingered in the crowd where Cale and Roksu could easily find him before immediately leaving for this park when they began their pursuit.

They were being lured out here.

He looked at Roksu to confirm but the look in his eyes let him know that the boy had caught up. His thoughtful frown met with Cale’s.

The question to stay or to go was present. They had already gone this far and there was no obvious danger present. Then again, were they already too late to escape danger even if they ran now? There were too many unknowns. The unknown was specifically why they followed him to begin with.

There was always the single sliver of a possibility that this was all some bizarre coincidence and the creepy teen was just a baby-faced stranger who noticed their scam and decided to walk away.

Cale knew in his gut that wasn’t the case.

Were they in more danger if they didn’t learn anything about him? Was it better to just avoid him?

Roksu nodded and in a moment of sibling telepathy, Cale knew exactly what he intended to do. Cale mouthed a you sure? as he weighed the pros and cons of the move. Then again, it was a move that appealed to Cale’s growing annoyance with the unknown.

They stood up and peeked around the tree. Their target was indeed still waiting for them with an unaffected benign expression of a boy who was just enjoying the weather and the connection with nature.

Fuck it. They didn’t have the fucking time to worry about this asshole on top of everything else.

“Who the fuck are you?”

The pair of them approached the bench directly, standing before the teen with mirrored masks. Cale wore the thuggish expression of a real asshole. Roksu wore the typical stoicism that came naturally to his face.

They were met with a puzzled smile as the teen processed the question. He looked every bit like a timid youth who was being randomly accosted. Maybe that was why he got under Cale’s skin. Cale was much too used to dangerous people with absolutely perfect acts of benign innocence.

“Excuse me?” He asked. “I’m really sorry, I don’t quite understand…”

“Cut the shit.” Cale stopped him. “We made eye contact earlier, yeah? Your tiny brain can register that much or are you too dumb to manage that?”

Sometimes it was all too easy to slide into old habits. Cale did have to bite down on the bit about stinking peasants that probably wouldn’t go over too well in modern day South Korea.

His act didn’t crack in the least but a tug from Roksu brought Cale’s attention to what Roksu had noticed. Behind the bench. Behind the benign and obnoxious stranger. The tiny shiver of reality that normally denoted a rift.

Teen, park, rift.

Memories that seemed very far away and almost dreamlike knocked politely on Cale’s thoughts but they did not reveal themselves.

It wasn’t just the pattern of events or the goblin attack. Cale was forgetting something. Something pivotal . Something that could spell the difference between life and death. And he couldn’t remember.

There was every possibility that the rift was benign. Plenty, if not most, rifts resulted in something like a flower or a bunny or some other mundanity crossing the bridge between realities. Cale had a rather accurate premonition that this wouldn’t be the case here.

The teen followed their gaze and let out a gasp of surprise, it sounded all too fake to Cale’s years, before he backed up with the pair behind him. “Stay behind me.” He said, sounding quitte scared and uneasy and fake .

Yeah. Fuck that noise.

Chapter Text

Cale had to admit that he’d had better days.

He’d had worse days, that was for sure, but he’d definitely had better days.

There wasn’t any time for them to lament whether it had been foolish of them to follow the suspicious bastard to the secluded park and there definitely wasn’t time to make even one mistake.

Currently, their biggest mistake had been to have been born and the universe was still quite obsessed with correcting that particular error on such a scale that it was actually quite incredible.

Most breaks in the rift were small scale. Even when something dangerous slipped on through, a monster or a other ferocious creature, it was usually on such a small scale that anyone with the right tools and preparation could probably handle it with minimal destruction.

Yes, there were still plenty of deaths and destroyed homes, but there wasn’t a lot of the right tools and preparation going around. Most citizens simply weren’t equipped to handle a literal monster even if they did have weapons available.

Cale supposed that it was the same in his original world. Anyone could theoretically handle a dangerous goblin if there was only one and they had been properly prepared but there were still plenty of people who died unable to defend themselves.

Cale would have welcomed goblins though. He would have welcomed them with open arms. Even after his previous experience. He would have kissed a damn goblin on the cheek.

Why did it have to be wyverns?

The first time that there was a large scale rift and a significant number of monsters crawled their way through and they were wyverns .

Of all the abominable creatures across both continents–

Roksu gripped his shaking hand and Cale regained his composure.

So they were wyverns. So what. Cale had dealt with far worse in his extended lifetime and, unlike goblins, Cale had spent a lot of his adult life learning every single good way there was to slaughter wyverns.

He might have what some people would consider a small ‘grudge’.

For now though, Cale huddled with Roksu in the temporary safety of the tree they’d climbed. One look at how the mysterious teen held his own against the wyverns let Cale know that the bastard could have killed them at any time. So quickly that even if he’d done it in a crowd no one would have noticed.

Knowing that the man could have killed them but chose not to still didn’t endear the creepy bastard to Cale though. There were plenty of people who could kill him but chose not to, that didn’t make any of them good people that he should trust. The bar was in fact so very low that having difficulty clearing it actually made the teen look worse in Cale’s eyes.

He wasn’t fixating on that bastard now though.

Despite the airborne status of the wyverns, the tree actually did offer them temporary safety. Wyverns were used to searching for prey scurrying on the ground below them while they chased them down with razor sharp claws.

Tiny things that hung out in trees were more likely to be dismissed as birds in the eyes of a wyvern. The difference between the size of a bird and a human in comparison to a wyvern really just made it seem like they were comparing spiders and ants and thus, wasn’t a factor for them.

Wyvern’s hardly preyed on birds. They just weren’t worth the effort. Not enough meat, a lot of flying, all that squawking and the feathers–it was simply far too much effort to bother with. Especially when it was so much easier to swoop downwards and clasp an unsuspecting land-creature within its talons.

In short, it was for the time being their best course of action and one that Cale had immediately recognized due to his tiny obsession with obliterating all wyverns out of existence.

It couldn’t last though. With time, the wyverns would grow bored of feasting upon the meager pickings of the park and either fly off to find better prey or rustle up some trees for an unsuspecting bird nest.

They just needed to find the proper timing to retreat. Away from the wyverns' focus and before they started mussing with the trees.

It was at least partially lucky that there was such a willing distraction in the form of the mysterious teenager but they had no guarantee how long he would hold out. He could die at any moment or choose to retreat.

Roksu’s shaking pupils moved towards the scene and Cale knew what he was thinking before he said anything. He squeezed Roksu’s hand to catch his attention and shook his head.

They had a slim chance of survival as is. There was no way that they were going to risk even that slim chance by helping out the bastard who might have even caused this whole mess. Cale had felt something dangerous about him since the first time they’d met and as someone who’d experienced firsthand how absolutely insanely powerful some people could be, he wasn’t going to stick around to find out.

Last person he met who could do world breaking bullshit literally killed him. Cale didn’t fancy fucking around and finding out twice.

There . Cale didn’t hesitate, giving Roksu the signal to crawl out of the tree with him. Despite his panic and split focus, Cale had been observing the movements of the wyverns and the rift.

The rift had stopped spitting out new wyverns about ten minutes ago and for the first time they were all directing their attention towards the struggling teenager.

‘That’s a whole lot of not my fucking problem. You shouldn’t have lured kids here if you wanted to live, bastard.’ Cale thought resentfully, guiding Roksu past a wyvern corpse and to the quickest possible return to society. There would be more places to hide and more heavily armed people there.

It was a bit strange that the police hadn’t already arrived but Cale set that aside as a problem for later . There were probably other rifts to deal with.

Cale’s timing actually had been quite impressive and his plan really would have worked.

 A movement behind him sent a chill down his spine and Cale didn’t look back. He knew better than to waste time on it. He grabbed Roksu’s hand and ran faster than he ever had before.

The irregular thumps behind them accompanied by an ear piercing screech spoke of a wyvern that wasn’t actually dead yet.

It pursued. Limping. Unable to fly. But so much faster than it ought to be in its current condition. Cale’s heart raced miserably in his chest and it was all he could do to keep his feet moving, one in front of the other, and not surrender to the all too familiar panic of wyverns .

The horrible screech. The one that let him know that soon more would take mind. That more would give chase. That the timeline left on his life was quickly running out. Worst of all, the time left for Roksu was oh so short as well.

No– Cale found renewed strength and ran with all he could. His entire body burned with the exertion but he didn’t care. He didn’t care if he had to drag Roksu–

Roksu–

The tug on his hand became lighter and sudden dread filled him.

A memory so far in the past yet so fresh to his heart.

Turning around to find the tiny hand in his own no longer held a treasured sibling.

Just a hand and a well fed wyvern.

Cale looked, despite every scream in his heart that it was worthless to do so, he looked.

Roksu nearly smacked into him. “What are you doing?!” Roksu gasped out, practically tackling Cale into a narrow alleyway that he’d nearly run right past.

It was a good spot to avoid the wyvern. Cale mentally thanked Roksu for being smart enough to think tactically in this horrible situation. He really was an incredible kid. Cale couldn’t be more proud.

His hand shook terribly.

Roksu was still here. Still holding his hand. Still breathing. Still alive.

If not for the screeching crash at the mouth of the alleyway, Cale might have sobbed in relief. Why did it have to be fucking wyverns?

The injured wyvern hadn’t given up its prey despite its inability to reach them in the tight space they hid. Cale looked to see a dead end behind them and wondered about the structure of the shaking buildings that the wyvern was currently crashing against.

They’d helped out in the destroyed neighborhoods. Cale and Roksu knew well enough that there were plenty that never got eaten by monsters. Instead they were crushed by rubble.

Cale let out a breathy laugh and met Roksu’s shaking pupils. “Rock and a hard place, huh?” He said. It wasn’t actually that funny but Roksu laughed.

“The hard place is trying to eat us.” He pointed out.

“I vote if it tries, we stab it in the eyes.” Cale said with a devilish smile that belonged on an elegant prince, not a raggedy orphan. “It probably won’t stop it from eating us but I think it would be pretty fucking gratifying.”

The twisted smile he got from his twin assured Cale that he wasn’t alone in his feelings.

They were mostly sure to die. Even if there was a way out, they didn’t have any strength left. Cale decided he’d save any last vestiges of strength he had to protect Roksu’s body with his own. If the rubble fell from above, it wouldn’t help much but it could be the difference between life and tell.

The idea didn’t sit well with Cale though.

In truth, Cale had never been all that big on ‘self preservation’. He was good at surviving, so good in fact that he was sure there was some sadistic god somewhere that cursed his name, but he didn’t have a strong will to live. Not like most people did.

In the expansively horrible experiences he’d endured in his life, he would have much preferred to be the one who died than the one who survived. This wasn’t to say he was suicidal, just not an active lover of life. Even in his youth he’d been much too reckless and much too foolhardy. Perhaps it was a misguided attempt to meet his mother again.

Perhaps he was just a crazy bastard.

Regardless, Cale just didn’t care to live like most people did.

But he promised Roksu he wouldn’t die.

Cale grit his teeth. Ah, it was always troublesome when you made difficult promises to younger siblings. Even if it sucked beyond the telling of it, it was the responsibility of any decent older sibling to be a good example and keep your word.

It wouldn’t do to find a way to survive that involved his death. He’d need to find a method that ensured they both survived.

Just as Cale was finding the strength in his tattered body to square up with the raging half dead wyvern intent on making Cale and Roksu its final supper, buildings be damned, the screeching came to an abrupt halt.

“...are you okay?”

The unfamiliar voice rang out over the body of the fallen creature. A teenager, a different teenager than the mysterious bastard, was covered in wyvern blood and holding a blade. He hopped over the corpse to reach the pair of them and held out a hand.

“Can either of you walk?”

He had dark hair and dark eyes typical of any Korean but he was distinctly handsome, the sort of person who’d definitely been told you should model at least once in his life. He also had a thick charisma around him that probably made him likable to just about anyone he met.

Cale made all this snap judgment before turning to Roksu and seeing, to his surprise, a look of admiration on his younger twin’s face. It was subtle, Roksu didn’t edge very far from stoic all that much, but for anyone who knew how to read Roksu it was as clear as day.

Roksu thought that the blood stained teen was incredibly cool.

Cale wasn’t exactly jealous but he did feel a flash of annoyance that he hadn’t been the one to save Roksu and his twin brother had never given him such an admiring expression. It wasn’t that Cale needed to be admired by his younger sibling but he definitely didn’t like some suspicious stranger getting that admiration.

However, Cale was a utilitarian by nature and he stowed away the petty feeling as he stood up on shaky legs and held out a hand to Roksu alongside the stranger. The truth was that he’d saved their lives and Cale was also grateful. “You okay, Roksu?”

Roksu nodded and accepted both hands to stand up, his eyes still glued on the teen.

“I’m glad.” The teen gave an easygoing smile and ruffled both of their hairs in an affectionate way. “Stay safe, I have to go check for more.”

“That’s…” Cale began, instinctively wanting to stop him from walking into his death. He was stopped by the expression on the teen’s face.

It was a familiar expression.

The expression of someone who can’t be stopped.

Cale swallowed his words.

“Scream if you need anything. You should be safe if you lie low here until it’s over.” He said, patting them again and rushing out of the alley.

Shit. Well, Cale could also admit that the bastard was cool. Even he felt his heart flutter from the sheer charisma of the suicidal idiot. He looked towards Roksu and held out a hand.

The gesture stole away Roksu’s revere and he returned to the present instead of looking listlessly after the retreating teen.

“Let’s go home.”

Chapter Text

Kwangsu’s hug was awkward. He always gave hugs as though it was his last possible opportunity to do so. Knowing their lives, it very well might be. But it did give a certain pressure to the hugs and an intensity that Roksu really didn’t hate.

This hug was different though.

Kwangsu’s arms were trembling as he held onto his brother and he let out a shaky breath.

“I’m sorry, Roksu.” The hold tightened and Roksu felt a bit worried about what Kwangsu might even be talking about. “I shouldn’t have put you in danger like that.”

Roksu blinked, surprised by the unexpected direction their one sided conversation took. He really couldn’t think of a reason that Kwangsu needed to apologize. They’d both been in danger and they’d both agreed to investigate. It was hardly Kwangsu’s fault that a rift occurred.

Despite Roksu’s impressive maturity and acceptance of Kwangsu’s true age, Roksu hadn’t fully grasped how much responsibility that Kwangsu had as the older sibling. If he truly was an eleven year old who had accidentally stumbled into danger with his twin brother, Kwangsu really wouldn’t carry the extra weight of responsibility.

But the facts were that he had the maturity of a forty year old. He ought to have behaved with more responsibility from the beginning. They ought not to have even been committing crimes when it was no longer a necessity to do so, especially not pushing the boundaries of what they could pull off and who they could con.

The knowledge that he could have lost his younger brother and all because he got cocky was horrifying to Kwangsu. Cale Henituse had lost his entire family once already and sometimes he still blamed himself for that.

Just as Roksu hadn’t fully conceptualized the meaning behind Kwangsu’s true age and extra responsibilities, Kwangsu would forget just how young and naive Roksu truly was because he was so bright. It didn’t feel like talking to a child when he conversed with Roksu and so he often made the mistake of taking on unnecessary risks.

It was stupid and reckless and the aftershocks of the situation left Cale feeling raw and terrified.

“No more scams.” Cale said firmly, pulling out of the hug but still keeping Roksu close by. Looking into his brother’s eyes with determined protectiveness. “That was too risky.”

“...it wasn’t really the scam...” Roksu lapsed into silence when he saw the pleading look on Kwangsu’s face, nodding obediently. He liked the scams but something was clearly crushing his brother and he didn’t want to add to that pressure.

Kwangsu smiled shakily. “How about we plan out something better?” He suggested.. It was clear that he was attempting to ease some of the tension. “A safer way to achieve the slacker dream?”

Roksu smiled a bit and nodded. When all was said and done, Roksu was a fan of safety and the ultimate dream of slacking off with his brother without having to worry about food or shelter was indeed quite a bit more appealing than some dumb scams, even if they were lucrative.

It was time to change the way they looked at things.

–

Roksu couldn’t help but feel that he’d gotten the short end of the stick. Well, not necessarily that, but he did feel that he might have submitted to one last con that his older brother had masterfully executed.

A true slacker lifestyle would mean early retirement ergo they needed to get a job that allowed for such a thing. Most jobs that had any retirement plans at all or paid enough that retirement was a possibility required an extensive education ergo one of them needed to attend university. Since Roksu was the ‘smarter’ of the pair of them, he was the obvious choice to go. Cale would be the one to worry about the funds to get there.

It meant that Roksu was stuck sitting in a middle school classroom while Cale was out there lying about his age so he could work about three different part time jobs.

It wasn’t that Roksu minded studying. He really didn’t. It was easy and it didn’t require physical labor, two things that Roksu greatly appreciated. So far as slacking off, studying was as easy as it got.

It was just that he didn’t like sitting here and feeling useless while Cale worked himself to exhaustion day in and day out. Cale assured him that studying was the best way he could support Cale’s efforts but it still felt strangely hollow.

Perhaps it was because Roksu’s portion of the labor was so comparatively easy that it ate at his conscience. He knew that Cale was smart enough to take on the ‘brains’ portion of the operation, despite all of Cale’s repeated assertions that Roksu was ‘the smart one’ and he knew that Cale was working himself too hard these days.

Roksu could see the heavy bags that had begun to make their homes beneath Cale’s eyes. Saw the way Cale dragged his feet when he returned home to the orphanage and collapsed onto their shared bed with a groan. He saw how bit by bit, day by day, the stress of working hard was starting to stain even Cale’s vibrance.

If losing Cale’s enthusiastic vim was the cost they had to pay for the slacker life, Roksu didn’t want it. He’d rather live a happy and simple life with his brother than watch Cale work himself into an early grave.

Unfortunately Roksu wasn’t naive.

He knew well enough that life wasn’t so easy though. Fairness or hopes didn’t equate when it came to the reality of their situation. Even if they only aimed for the humblest life possible, they would still work every day of their lives tirelessly and never manage to get their head above water.

Roksu just didn’t want Kwangsu alone to be the one who paid for their peace of mind. He wanted to help. He was rational enough to understand that studying was helping in a long term sense but in the short term, he was impatient.

Really, Cale had definitely conned him. The way that the division of labor had been explained to him made it seem like it would be equal. Roksu had believed that and acted accordingly but now Cale was placing all of the pressure onto himself once more.

Roksu noticed that his elder twin had a nasty habit of doing just that. It was something he’d known as a child but the older he got, the more apparent it became. He sighed to himself as he collected his things and left the classroom once the final bell had chimed. No one bothered to greet him, they knew better by now.

Kim Roksu wasn’t an unfriendly person, per say, he’d respond appropriately if addressed and he’d talk for the allotted time that was asked of him but he never got close to anyone. Never offered personal information. Never appeared to care very much about anyone.

He was enigmatic and distant. Some thought it was cool but most thought he was just a gloomy and antisocial kid and didn’t waste their time with him.

That suited him just fine.

Roksu had no intentions of dragging anyone else into his quasi curse. He barely tolerated the fact that Kwangsu was entangled with him but he’d learned to accept a long while ago that with a personality like his, Kwangsu would never accept losing his brother.

And Roksu had very little intention of putting him through the loss of family all over again.

It was an unpleasant catch twenty-two, if he stayed with Kwangsu, he risked his brother's life. If he left Kwangsu in some ill-fated attempt to keep him safe, he would break whatever was left of his broken soul.

Besides that, there was no guarantee that putting distance between them would even do anything to stop-gap the ‘curse’. Whatever jinx that Roksu carried with him and caused everyone around him to meet with misfortune, they didn’t know what rule it abided by. Perhaps it didn’t care about the present and would continue to target anyone Roksu had cared about regardless of his present feelings. Perhaps it would target anyone of close relation to him. Perhaps it would never give up on Kwangsu no matter what they did.

Neither of them were willing to toy with the lives of others in order to understand the curse better through experimentation and thus the only viable option was to live shamelessly.

Were they dancing with danger? Absolutely. Did they have any other options? Not at the moment but Roksu was always eagerly awaiting for an opportunity to smack the bastards behind this in the back of the head. If he were to ever find the person responsible for this…

Kim Roksu didn’t consider himself to be a vicious person. He thought of himself as rather boring, normal, and rational. Average intelligence, average appearance, and average reactions to his surroundings.

This was why Roksu didn’t think his half cooked plans for the person behind his twin’s constant tango with death were vicious or merciless. He just thought they were the rational and normal response that anyone would have to watching their only family suffer daily.

The sight of red hair walking up ahead brought Roksu out of his funk, speeding up to catch up with his brother. “You’re off early today.” Roksu said, a smile itching at his lips.

Cale turned to his brother and rustled his hair. “I’m doing the late night shift at the convenience shift.” He explained, frowning as Roksu’s cheer visibly lessened.

He knew that Roksu didn’t like his hours and definitely didn’t like how hard he was working but they didn’t have a choice.

They didn’t have the privilege of anything less.

Sometimes it caused Cale to reflect upon his behavior as a lout without a twisting gut. It was true that his father always appropriately compensated Cale’s victims but Cale truly hadn’t understood his privilege back then. For as hard as his life as Cale Henituse had gotten, in the days when his father was alive he had every option of doing whatever he wanted with his life.

If he wanted to rest without working for a single day, he had that ability. The slacker life that Roksu was so eager to achieve had been at his fingertips.

And the people that Cale had caused distress to…

Cale didn’t suffer any financial loss if a customer at the convenience store decided to yell at him or damage the store but he couldn’t do anything about it either. Talking back or fighting back could cost him his job. There was an inherent power imbalance that was always present.

Cale hadn’t fully understood it before.

He didn’t know what it felt like to be under the thumb of a screaming trashy bastard who could do or say anything he wanted without any consequence falling upon his shoulders. Hadn’t known how the indignity of it burned in the pit of the stomach or how insults sometimes stuck with you long after the garbage had been taken out.

And Cale was far more confident than the average person as well. He truly didn’t care what people had to say or thought of him, he had plenty of experience being worse , and he had the composure of a man who danced with death on a daily basis.

It was the powerlessness that haunted him.

How many people had he exposed to that miserable and powerless feeling while he played a part in a play of his own production?

There were many things that Cale regretted about his lout days. Not spending more time with his family before he lost them, not coming up with a better solution to protect them, not merely telling the extended family to fuck off instead of dancing in their palms… there was a lot he hated about those years but he’d never really thought about the maids who flinched as he stormed past, forced to clean up a mess he made. The bartender who dreaded what Cale would do to his tavern this time.

They hadn’t been people who he felt the need to think about and so he hadn’t realized how he could have hurt them. He hadn’t meant to, hadn’t wanted to, but that somehow didn’t offer him any clemency in the court of his own thoughts.

He was paying for those crimes in his own way now but he couldn’t help but think that his suffering didn’t do them any good either. Those people were long dead.

But he’d keep going. Because he didn’t have a choice. Because he wanted the best for his brother.

Because he never gave up. Not even after death.

In their own particular ways, the pair returned to normalcy. It was peaceful, in its own way, but it was hard.

They simply weren’t born to lead easy lives.

Chapter Text

It was funny how someone so disinterested in training their own body could be so interested in watching the athletic feats of others.

Roksu never admitted it of course. He always played it off as though he really didn’t care but he always returned to it, one way or another. Cale sometimes wondered if it was the influence of that first time they went to see a dojang together so many years ago. Perhaps the experience had somehow imprinted on Roksu and he couldn’t but be drawn towards similar displays of martial arts.

Cale would find him studying nearby sports clubs sometimes when he went to pick him up from school, casually observing the archery club or others with that same strange fascination but not quite the same spark.

That was perhaps why Cale had chosen that gift for Roksu’s seventeenth birthday. It wasn’t something that Roksu would probably ever ask for and definitely something that he would deny hosting an interest in it. Perhaps Roksu was even telling the truth and sincerely didn’t recognize the way his eyes sparkled sometimes when he watched. Roksu could be oblivious like that at times.

Regardless, their finances could certainly afford the unnecessary purchase even if Roksu didn’t like it. Roksu and Cale had been saving obsessively ever since Cale started working and while they would never be rich at this rate, they certainly had breathing room now.

While the weight of poverty isn’t so easily cast aside just because of above average intelligence or maturity, the much more attainable goal of achieving stability can be clasped with great effort.

Cale liked to think that they’d managed stability. No great wealth and no room for mistakes but they could afford a few small indulgences.

Of course this was partially due to Roksu’s strict budgeting and why it was such a big deal to buy a birthday gift to begin with. Roksu had issued a ban on such flagrant spending a few years ago. He reasoned that he, the younger one, was in no great need of gifts, and Cale, the older one, was in his fifties and ought to get used to disappointment by now.

Roksu could have quite a sharp tongue when it had to do with their finances.

Cale took no offense to it. He knew it was because Roksu worried about him working so much. Roksu also knew Cale’s personality well enough to know that if Roksu got him a gift that Cale would definitely get a gift for his younger brother as well. Thus he had cooked up the no gifts policy.

Cale was prepared to get an earful for his wasteful purchase but he thought it would be worth it. He actually had managed to get quite the good deal on it through a work connection and beyond that, he wanted to give his silly brother something.

Something that would bring him happiness that he couldn’t achieve on his own. A simple enjoyment.

“...tickets to a kumdo competition?”  Roksu asked, his face contorted with confusion.

“It’s the nationals. Got ‘em for cheap at work.” Cale explained flippantly.

Roksu raised a confused gaze upwards. “...why?”

Even when they did things aside from work and school, it was normally more volunteer work to help clean up affected neighborhoods or perhaps a trip to the library. It was strange for Cale to suggest they go anywhere but Cale’s interest in swords had always seemed utilitarian. He used them as a weapon but aside from that, he had no passion for it.

“It’s ‘cause you like swords.” Cale explained, feeling quite gratified that Roksu’s confusion over the matter had curbed his normal frugal objections.

“...since when do I like swords?” Roksu asked, genuinely puzzled as he looked back at the tickets as though they would magically provide an answer for his elder brother's mystifying behavior.

Cale scoffed. “Since forever.” He offered Roksu a casual grin. “C’mon, Roksu. It’ll be fun.”

“...” Roksu fixed Cale with a long and puzzled look before he finally let out a sigh. Oftentimes he had to surrender when it came to attempts at trying to understand his brother. Cale was an enigma at times. “Fine.”

The smile that brightened up Cale’s face was worth it. Cale normally wore an arrogant better-than-thou smirk that suited the nobility of his first life but usually made him look like a complete asshole. It was nice to see his face bright with happiness.

Roksu sometimes felt as though there were long periods of time where he didn’t see any hint of sincere happiness on his twin brother's face. Perhaps it was just the exhaustion from the daily grind of working for a living or maybe the more pressing issue of the world trying quite consistently to eradicate his existence but Cale had a way of looking quite miserable even while he smiled.

It was worth letting Cale get away with one frivolous purchase and enduring a doubtlessly boring exhibition of swordsmanship if it made his brother happy.

With similar thoughts of making one another happy, both brothers prepared to be bored by an event they had no interest in with the intention of pleasing the other.

A confusing act of selfless love.

They really were a helpless pair.

It was with similar states of mind the pair of them set out more than a week later to attend the event in question.

Roksu was in a particularly thoughtful state of mind when they arrived at the venue. Although it had been nearly ten years since the last time they visited that dojang, the memories still burned redhot in his mind. He would attribute it to the traumatic events that followed with the violent rifts and the whole crazy goblin attack thing but frankly, those memories were comparably blurry.

He remembered watching the practice and so many of the thoughts flooded his mind when he had. He actually remembered it a lot.

Despite its proximity to such a terrible memory, Roksu actually found a strange sort of comfort in the memory. Whenever he was feeling too stressed or uneven, he remembered those fluid movements that stood out even in a crowd. It drew him to watch even unrelated sports to find that same spark.

Nothing quite managed to make as deep an impression though.

It wasn’t just the actual activity. There was just something that struck him about it. Despite his overall disinterest in sports and martial arts, Roksu found that he was actually looking forward to watching the competition. Perhaps this could become another comforting memory.

The fluid movements, the passionate competition, his brother at his side, nothing to worry about except spectating, and Cale taking the entire day off of work.

Roksu smiled to himself. Yeah, it was already a pretty good memory.

“What are you smirking over?” Cale nudged him with a teasing grin.

“I’m thinking how weird that shirt looks.”

“Just because you have no eye for fashion, it doesn’t mean I have to be as boring as you.”

“Are you sure it’s an eye for fashion? You only pull it off because of your face.”

“Oooh, narcissistic much? We have the same face.”

“I didn’t actually say your face was good . That was just your assumption. But also, I’m not blind.”

“Is it really an assumption if I’m correct?”

“Yes.”

A chuckle from behind the bickering pair caused them to turn around, unknowingly wearing identical expressions.

The sight inspired another giggle from the interloper. His dark eyes glittered with amusement and a youthful handsome face was framed by sweat brown hair.

“Sorry.” He apologized, his voice thick with an ancient. He held up a hand, trying to stifle his own giggles. “You two are really cute, ya know?”

Cale raised an eyebrow at the forward statement. It wasn’t that the twins hadn’t been called cute before, the entirety of society had decided that the mere concept of ‘twins’ was adorable and therefore regardless of how cute the pair might or might not be, the identical faces always received that bit of praise. Still, it wasn’t common that someone their own age would do it. Normally it was grannies who wanted to pinch their cheeks or somewhat patronizing sounding teachers.

He didn’t sound like he was mocking them either. There was an embarrassing sincerity to his words that made Cale feel itchy.

Roksu had the cold expression of one who was grossed out by the assertion. “...let’s go, hyung.” He said, turning around to guide his brother away from the weirdo.

The stranger didn’t take the immediate hint, jogging up to their sides and giving Roksu a curious smile. “You call him hyung even though you’re twins?” He asked, looking absolutely fascinated by the simple piece of information.

“...yes.” Ah, now Roksu had his patented oh dammit I’m dealing with a crazy person stoic look on. Cale decided to assist.

“Are you one of the competitors?” He asked, taking notice of the stranger's outfit and sweaty appearance.

He brightened like the sun, clearly ecstatic that they noticed. “Yes–”

Cale cut him off before he couldn’t continue, wearing a better-than-thou sneer. “Then you should spend less time talking and more time practicing, yeah?”

Cale had a unique rudeness to him that threw most people off. Perhaps it was the overly direct way he spoke or maybe it was how willing he was to appear as a villain but the normal effect was that the opposing party would normally shy away from interacting with him.

It was a bit amazing how undaunted the stranger was. “It’s okay! I’m really good!” He assured, as though Cale’s clearly mocking statement had been made with concern in mind.

‘...you really can’t communicate with crazy.’ Roksu thought, wincing internally. It wasn’t that he hated the overly friendly stranger. He was just cautious. People who approached him and his brother with harmless intentions were few and far between. Considering the other teens' build they might not be able to put up a fight against him if it turned violent and even worms had higher social status than the two orphans.

To his surprise though, Cale laughed. Not a mocking jeer but it sounded almost sincere. “I don’t hate that confidence. You better do well in the competition to back it up.” He admitted. “But buzz off, we don’t want to talk to you.”

…it really was amazing how shockingly direct Cale could be at times. Roksu wondered if it was his other upbringing or if Cale had just been born shameless. It was probably a mixture of the two.

The stranger blinked in apparent surprise before he settled down. Even his brazen outgoing nature was no match for Cale’s formidable shamelessness.

“Oh, okay.” He said but slowly rallied, grinning confidently. “I’ll show both of you how well I do!”

The teen hurried off looking as though he’d actually received encouragement instead of harsh criticism. Roksu actually felt a bit bad for the guy. Despite his reservations and general hesitation to trust anyone or anything, he really had just seemed like a clueless but nice person. Someone who hardly deserved to be at the wrath of Cale’s sharp tongue.

Although Roksu didn’t want to engage in a tiresome conversation with him either.

“...some people really know no shame.” Cale said disapprovingly.

Roksu stared at his vicious brother in disbelief. “Yeah. Some people.”

The childish dig encouraged the pair to bicker some more as they found their seats, the friendly stranger all but forgotten as the competition began.

The first two matches weren’t terribly interesting but Cale still found some entertainment by critiquing their form. His favorite thing to do was to make comments about the unrealistic application of such structured swordsmanship in real combat.

Roksu half listened to his criticisms without much care. It was a bit interesting, he could admit, and with Cale’s whispered comments it was surprisingly informative. Not that Roksu ever intended to be in a combat situation that would force him to know any of it.

He had just about lulled himself into a meditative state of ease when the third match started.

He was struck immediately.

Roksu couldn’t really explain it. He was drawn into the figure moving fluidly against his opponent. It wasn’t that he was exceptionally skilled or even winning with ease, there was just something about his movements that was entrancing.

He hadn’t felt quite like this since the first time he’d watched the practicing youths with Cale all those years ago.

Cale’s normal criticisms were also noticeably absent.

When the match was over and Roksu’s chosen competitor won, he removed his helmet and revealed a messy mass of brown hair.

“Ha.” Cale let out a barking laugh. “I guess the punk wasn’t all talk after all.”

Roksu nodded silently, taking note of the name on the scoreboard.

‘...Choi Jungsu.’

It was a name he would remember.

Chapter Text

Human nature is to adapt.

Neither Kim Kwangsu, a boy cursed to die, nor Kim Roksu, a boy cursed with losing all his loved ones, really considered themselves all that unfortunate.

They both led hard lives. Kim Kwangsu spent most of his days dodging tragedy while working his body to the bone. Kim Roksu lived his life in fear of developing affection for anyone and buried himself in adult responsibilities that a child shouldn’t have to consider.

They lost and struggled and yet, for them it was just the normal state of things. It’s difficult for humans to live each moment in distress so the human mind learns how to accept the unacceptable. They adapt and soon they embrace their new normal.

Cale Henituse hadn’t considered himself to be an unfortunate person either. He’d only had the space of mind for the suffering of those he loved and walked with effortless confidence through so many new normal ’s until one of those normals finally claimed his life.

To an outsider their ceaseless struggles might appear tragic but for the twins, it was just life.

Whether or not their blase perspective on the clear disadvantages weighing them down made their circumstances all the more tragic was entirely up to the perspective of the individual.

Strange as it was, the twins actually considered themselves to be quite fortunate on most days.

As misfortune was their normal , even something that other people would consider to be normal was lucky to them. Today, for example, the pair of them felt as though they had won the lottery by managing to sign the lease on a small apartment together.

There wasn’t anything special about the apartment. It was even more humble than the apartment they’d shared with their uncle as children and the surrounding area was as undesirable as it got.

But finding a landlord that was willing to rent to two orphans who had no guaranteers, nonexistent credit score, and limited income was incredible to them.

Frankly, it would seem lucky to anyone under those conditions.

From today onward, there was no more cramped bunk bed in a shared room with a bunch of people they couldn’t afford to grow close to. They’d be free of restrictions of the orphanage as well and Cale wouldn’t need to do lie quite as much just to earn a living.

For them, it was the beginning of their stable and peaceful life.

Moving costs were nonexistent as well considering that they each only had enough possessions to carry in one shared duffel bag. But with time, they’d be able to save up and buy some meager furniture and then fill the apartment with all the things that would make it theirs .

Roksu was particularly excited because Cale had promised that once they got an apartment, Roksu would be allowed to work too. So long as his job didn’t interfere with plans for university.

University was going to be a struggle though. Roksu had applied for just about every scholarship that could feasibly accept him but they were still waiting to hear back. If they didn’t receive a positive response then the university would simply be out of reach.

Roksu had the feeling that Cale wouldn’t give up even then though. Cale had a relentless determination to see a plan through regardless of the impossibility of the challenge.

Roksu very hypocritically thought that Cale was stubborn to a fault. Completely ignoring all the countless ways that he was as stubborn if not more stubborn than his elder twin.

The pair sat in the empty apartment as the reality of their newfound freedom finally settled onto their hearts.

There was something about that. An experience that was all its own. Sitting in a new home that had been acquired through hard work and determination and knowing that tomorrow would be just a bit more stable because of it. A unique sensation that swept up the heart and settled the soul.

The emptiness felt warm somehow, like an opportunity waiting for a brighter future. But mostly, like a place to lay down one’s head for the night.

There was also an anxiety about it. The more hard won the peace, the more fearful that a person will become over the prospect of it being torn away. Still, the determination that gripped their hearts was firm.

Nothing would take their home from them.

Home.

That was what this tiny and dingy apartment represented.

It was home for two boys who had nothing else. A home where they would be safe. A home that they could protect.

Home.

It was a word that held weight for two people who had such a nebulous relationship with the mere concept.

This was home and for just today, they could merely rest and soak it in.

“Wanna get take out?” Cale asked with a crooked grin, intuitively knowing that Roksu’s hold on their wallet strings would loosen just for today.

Roksu nodded and lethargically stood up.

“Sweets on the way back?” Cale pushed his luck.

“Yeah, fine.” Roksu conceded with a smile itching at the corner of his lips. “But tomorrow, you’re cooking.”

“Yeah, yeah. I’ll meal prep for the week. How does curry sound?”

“...just don’t make it as spicy as you did last time.”

“We should get a fridge.” Cale said thoughtfully. “Should we get a fridge?” He added indecisively.

“It’s kind of necessary for most meal prepping. Especially curry.” Roksu said with a chuckle, shaking his head.

“Eh, I was thinking we could try our luck with room temperature curry.”

“...you’re seriously crazy, you know that, right?”

“Let’s buy a pot and some ingredients on the way back.” Cale said, deftly changing the topic with a grin.

Roksu rolled his eyes. “Yeah, yeah.” He tried to sound annoyed but it was obvious that the growing shopping list wasn’t bothering him at all.

The two exited the quaint apartment. The keys in their pocket and the knowledge that they had a place to return to lightening their hearts.

Altogether, it was a good first day in their new home.

And life changed.

There was a new normal to settle into. At first it was sleeping on a small stack of cheap as dirt dog-beds for the first few weeks while they saved up for futons. Then there was filling a small fridge with neatly stacked tupperware containers full of mostly rice and then normal became being able to afford meat and vegetables to flavor them with.

Normal changed every day but every change was just a little bit better than the last one.

Staying up late in the barren apartment on the first night that they could afford a futon and talking about plans to decorate the walls with free prints from work. Cooking together on Sunday and learning how to make sure the rice doesn’t go stale before they can eat that portion on Saturday.

Finding their first roach that lived up on their ceiling. Cale named him Hans and refused to explain why. Roksu made sure to greet Hans every time he got home from his part-time job and complained about how Hans didn’t pay rent.

Cale explained that Hans was under a lot of stress and he was doing his best to become a sassy butler when he grew up.

Roksu found a poorly made drawing of Hans in a butler uniform taped to the fridge two days after that and set out some glue traps for Hans to fall prey to. Unfortunately, as Cale put it, Hans might be a leaching squatter who never pays rent and has dreams above his station but he’s far too bright to fall for a simple trap like that.

People aren’t designed to be miserable.

Adjusting to every new normal and making the best of what you have. They were able to find a simple happiness in a home that had hardly any insulation, no sound proofing, loud and possibly violent neighbors, a serious bug and rodent problem, and a landlord who took a personal interest in reminding them whenever he spotted them that they were lucky that he took in trash like them.

The Kim brothers really and honestly considered themselves lucky.

Although, they both had their own thoughts as to where that garbage landlord could stick his opinion. Roksu had some thoughts about reporting the health and safety issues to the government once they moved out and Cale had a far more straightforward idea of totally trashing every property the bastard owned once they were no longer under his thumb.

Two unique perspectives from two equally stubborn and vicious people.

However, they felt the absolute luckiest the day that Roksu received the scholarship acceptance letter and finally they could add university to their new normal.

“Cheers.” Cale cracked a grin as his beer can clinked against Roksu’s. They were still technically under the legal drinking age but Cale had been adamant that they deserved a drink and got some cans from the convenience store he worked at. The people there already believed that he was two years older than he actually was because he lied about his age when he was hired.

Roksu rolled his eyes and took a sip, cringing at the bitter taste. “...you like this?”

Cale snorted. “Nah, not much.” He took another drink of it and stuck out his tongue. “I was actually one for sweet wines. The Henituse territory specialized in it.”

It was rare for Cale to share about the past with such an easy going look. Roksu smiled, maybe the bitter drink was worth it. “Why’d you get beer then?”

Cale shrugged. “It’s cheap. Besides, by the end of my life it was about the only thing there was to drink.” Cale reflected that this was the first time he had any alcohol in his new life. It wasn’t that the temptation hadn’t been there but he simply hadn’t had the time or money.

He was a bit glad he hadn’t now.

It felt special to share his first drink with Roksu.

In his first life, his first drink had been three bottles of wine stolen from the cellar and swiftly vomited out over the course of the entire night. Ron had taken care of him the entire night as his body was wrecked with alcohol poisoning and he drunkenly sobbed about missing his mother.

It wasn’t a pleasant memory.

It still hurt to remember.

His tolerance got better with time, to the point where it didn’t matter how much he drank, and Cale used alcohol as yet another outlet for his miserable lout act.

It was embarrassing.

“You know, you’re like Ron.” Cale said, lost in memories as he sipped his gross bitter beer.

“...Ron?”

“My butler. He was a real pain in the ass.” Cale chuckled. “Never knew when to call it quits.”

Roksu sent Cale a dry look. “Thanks?”

“A real troublemaker too.” Cale reeflected. “I can’t tell you how many times I yelled at him to stop putting lemons in my damn tea and he still did it every fucking time.” Cale smiled a bit sadly. “I think I was about thirty when I heard some soldiers talking about lemons as a hangover remedy. Apparently some old wives tale about lemons clearing up the sinuses and promoting good health, especially after drinking too much.”

That had been a bad night.

Ron had already been dead for nearly ten years.

Killed in the same worthless war that took the rest of his family.

Roksu lapsed into silence as he watched Cale, knowing in his heart that there wasn’t anything he could do to take away his brother’s pain but silently wished that there was a way.

“He sounds like a vicious guy.” Roksu said instead, voicing his opinion. Frankly, the butler could have just told Cale about the stupid lemon thing instead of annoying him. Keeping silent and continuing to do it without saying a word just sounded like the sadistic move of a vicious punk.

Cale let out a barking laugh. “He was! He seriously was!” Cale chuckled and wiped away a mirthful tear. “Crazy old bastard.”

“I still hate this beer.” Roksu pointed out and earned another chuckle from Cale. “Can I throw it away?”

“You fucking should. It tastes like piss. I’ve never been a beer person but this is probably the shittiest beer I’ve ever had and believe me , I’ve had some shitty beer.”

With one last swig of the swill, the pair took turns dumping the contents of their cans down the sink before preparing some hot chocolate to get the nasty taste out of their mouths.

They celebrated a brighter future ahead of them and bit by bit, they let go of the painful past.

“Congrats, Roksu. You earned it. Now get a degree so we can get filthy rich. I’m sick of dealing with Hans’ sass everyday.”

Roksu chuckled and shook his head. “Seems doable.”

Anything was probably doable if they had each other.

Chapter Text

“Ever wonder if I’m like a roach?”

“...like Hans?”

“I mean, yeah. But also just roaches in general.”

“I… can’t say that the comparison has jumped to mind before, no.”

“Think how many traps we’ve set for Hans and the little guy still lives on our ceiling, just doing his own thing and avoiding our calls for him to get a job and pay rent. Doesn't that remind you of me?”

“No, not particularly?”

“Well, think of us like the murder-thirsty gods and Hans like me and then I guess the apartment is you?”

“Your analogy is getting more convoluted.”

“My point is that I’m a cockroach.”

“...hyung. Seriously.”

Roksu sometimes had to seriously question where his twin brother’s brain went. The logic was ridiculous and judging by the shitty grin on Kwangsu’s face, he knew it.

They were on their way home together. Technically, Roksu could have been home about thirty minutes ago since his classes had ended quite a while ago but he’d opted instead to wait outside of Cale’s part time job for him to get off work to walk his brother home. He did that most days, even though Cale complained that his time was better spent studying.

Roksu could tell that Cale was glad for the company though. The dishonest punk always perked up when he saw Roksu waiting outside. It was also a rather efficient way to stop Cale from working too many overtime hours.

He was a wily bastard and if you didn’t keep an eye on him, he might not even stop to sleep. Especially since he was more than willing to work both the day shift and the graveyard shift back to back.

The man was simply insane.

“What do you want for dinner?” Roksu asked as they were approaching the grocery store between work and home.

Cale groaned and slumped. “Can’t we make Hans cook?”

“...I’m going to burn that butler picture if you suggest that again.”

Cale chuckled and thought about it seriously. With dual income and Roksu’s scholarship they actually had enough money to spoil themselves here and there. “Meat.” He announced once he’d made his decision.

Roksu nodded knowingly and headed inside of the grocery store with his brother leaning against his shoulder in protest. Cale didn’t like grocery shopping. Half slumped against Roksu, Cale let out a whine of complaint as they walked straight past the ice cream aisle without pausing.

Roksu had a strict budget and no amount of whining was going to derail that.

This was probably the precise reason Cale disliked grocery shopping.

Sometimes Cale would complain about wanting to just buy the entire store so that they wouldn’t have to worry about food ever again. Roksu reflected that if Cale really was as rich as he claimed to be in his previous life, he probably had done something similarly insane in the past.

“...Roksu… ice cream…” Cale complained, his weight slumping against his brother despondently. “Don’t you like ice cream?”

“No.” Roksu lied. He knew better than to surrender to Cale’s complaints. The crazy bastard would calculate the amount that they splurged and then work about three times the amount of overtime required to cover the deficit.

He was so irresponsibly responsible that it was nuts. Roksu ignored the rest of Cale’s complaints for candy and snacks as he picked out some clearance sale pork, a few vegetables, and then checked out.

It was a pain in the ass but truthfully Roksu preferred it when Cale felt comfortable enough to complain about this and that. Roksu really worried when Cale held it all in and never complained about anything. Those were the days that he knew he had to keep an extra close eye on the crazy punk.

Cale stretched out when they left the store, his arms reaching up towards the sky and his gaze followed shortly after. “What if I’m like a cloud?”

“...first a cockroach, now a cloud?” Roksu asked with a chuckle as they proceeded towards their humble abode. “What’s the logic this time?”

“I float this way and that way but I never quite belong anywhere.” He grinned roguishly. “And when I’m upset, I rain on everyone.”

“...you’re ridiculous.” Roksu shook his head and glanced up at the passing clouds. Cale was obviously joking but he wondered if that was how his brother really felt.

Though it would be a lie to say Roksu didn’t feel like that sometimes too. There were only so many times that your concept of ‘home’ could be torn away from you before you start to feel like you don’t belong. Cale had his home torn away from him many more times than Roksu and that was sure to leave a wound on his soul.

“I think you’re like the sun.” Roksu said, bringing his gaze back down to the road ahead and shrugging nonchalantly as though he hadn’t said anything meaningful. “You’re consistent, warm, and stubborn. And when you’re upset, you burn people.”

The laugh he was rewarded with was quite worth engaging in Cale’s ridiculous game of I’m a this and I’m a that . Cale wrapped an arm around Roksu’s shoulder still chuckling. He had a smile that could certainly put the warmth of the sun to shame.

“Lessee, does that make you the sky?” Cale asked with a grin.

“Why’s that?” Roksu asked, knowing he’d regret it.

“‘Cause we’re inseparable.”

Roksu rolled his eyes but his lip twitched in response. It was a silly sentiment but it was comforting.

Roksu didn’t like the idea of Cale being a cloud because he might just float away. He didn’t like a cockroach either because someone was sure to try to hurt him.

It wasn’t a lie either. Cale had offered Roksu more warmth than the sun ever had. He had a determination that fueled him and a terrible attitude but for Roksu, his brother was as consistent as watching the sunrise each morning.

He was always there and losing him would be as devastating as losing the sun.

Roksu wasn’t going to say any of that aloud though. He had a rather accurate premonition that Cale would tease him for being cheesy. Instead, he unlocked the front door, greeted the skittering Hans, and placed the groceries by the stove.

“Sup, Hans?” Cale said jokingly as he nabbed a cutting board and some vegetables. He sat lazily at their low table while chopping away.

Roksu smiled to himself and began to prepare the meat. He was planning to make a simple stir fry so he ought to wash some rice… “Decided on your major yet?”

Roksu turned his attention away from cooking to peek at his brother. “Not yet. Why?”

Cale popped a cut piece of carrot in his mouth before starting in on the onions. “I was thinking you’d be really good at accounting.”

“Last time you said I’d be good at psychology.” Roksu pointed out. “What changed?”

“Accountants earn more.” Cale said with a shameless grin.

He was a real menace. Roksu shook his head. Cale would probably support him even if he chose to go into the lowest possible paying field. Yet he liked to pretend that he was selfish. Ridiculous bastard.

“You’re just bitter that I didn’t buy you ice cream so you’re calling me a miser.” Roksu accused.

“I mean, that too.” Cale admitted easily. “Would one ice cream have really made a difference?”

“See, this is why I’m in charge of the budget.” Roksu said.

“Miser.” Cale said with a tongue click of disapproval.

“Would you prefer I spend our money recklessly? I could go out and spend it all on booze and women.” Roksu said in the driest possible tone.

Cale let out an uproarious laugh, practically collapsing on the counter while imagining his stoic younger brother surrounded by ‘booze and women’. It was quite the image and it would definitely fill him with mirth every time he remembered it. “Yeah–” He said through gasps of laughter. “Please– haha – do that.”

Roksu quirked a brow at his laughing brother. It wasn’t that funny. He shook his head and returned to washing the rice. Cale always had a strange sense of humor.

Cale wiped a mirthful tear from his eye and then yelped as he accidentally put onion juice straight into his eye. After washing it out quickly, disrupting everything as he whimpered pathetically, Cale winced as he sat back down with a pout.

Roksu thought it was karma and paid him no mind.

“You should grow your hair out again.” Cale said, cutting the remaining vegetables with significantly less enthusiasm.

“Again?” Roksu thought about it carefully. There had been a time when he’d been too busy and lazy to do anything about his hair. He figured Cale was referring to that time. “Why?”

“Because it’ll help you keep all that booze and ladies.” Cale said, beginning to laugh all over again.

“...I’m not helping you if you get onion juice in your eyes again.” Roksu grumbled.

“For real though, it looked good on you! I swear!” Cale said while still sniggering. Clearly not a trustable resource.

Roksu shrugged. He really didn’t care much about his hair. He mostly kept it short because that was the societal expectation and his haircuts consisted of whatever he or Cale could manage with a pair of everyday scissors. Cale was the one who put a sincere effort into his own hair. Neatly cut, dyed, and styled to suit his particular taste.

“You’ll have to beat women off with a stick.” Cale continued, clearly still amusing himself with the image of Roksu becoming a fiscally irresponsible lout.

“Why don’t you grow your hair out then?” Roksu asked, rightfully pointing out that they had identical faces. “Wouldn’t it suit you just as well as me?”

Cale’s face wrinkled in distaste at the thought. “No thanks.” He patted his precious hair protectively. “I’ve already found a style that perfectly suits me. No need to mess with perfection.”

“So are you beating off women with a stick?” Roksu as dryly, turning on the burner as he began to cook the prepared ingredients.

Cale huffed and leaned back against the ground, his glare landing on Hans on the ceiling. “I would but Hans keeps interfering. ‘Young master, it’s time to go home’ he says with his stupid roach mouth.”

It was Roksu’s turn to snigger. A giant cockroach in a butlers uniform coming to pick Cale up from work was an unforgettable image.

“It’s your own fault for encouraging him. He wouldn’t think he was your butler if you didn’t keep treating him like one.” Roksu teased.

Cale scoffed and rolled onto his side. “How else am I supposed to treat him? He’s Hans !”

What a crazy punk his brother was. Roksu distantly wondered if Cale really was ‘popular with the ladies’ before deciding he really didn’t care to know the answer. Truthfully, he’d never had the luxury to ever consider romance and so he never really had.

The brothers had always prioritized survival above everything else and things like friends or lovers just fell to the wayside when one more bout of bad luck could cost them all their hard won peace.

Roksu also couldn’t consider the idea of growing close to anyone else. It was bad enough that Cale dodged death regularly just because of their connection. He could hardly involve some innocent person.

It really wasn’t bad though. For the pair of them, it really was enough to have each other.

Family was the most important thing to both of them.

Roksu plated the food while listening to Cale describe Hans’ fictional exploits interfering in his nonexistent life and sat across from his brother with a real peace settling over his heart.

If the days could stay peaceful just like this then he wouldn’t ask for anything more. Not even the relaxing slacker life that he wanted to achieve. If they could just say just like this he would give up any aspiration for anything more.

He didn’t have a lot but he treasured the little that he had.

Chapter Text

It just didn’t feel real. Roksu wasn’t paranoid, per say, but in his experience things going right for too long was merely the prelude to something horrible.

He was constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop.

Getting a scholarship and going to university alone had felt like an impossible fantasy but maintaining a peaceful life on top of that felt… bizarre.

It wasn’t that they had a normal life.

Often Cale still came home with strange bruises or there was an accident near his workplace that Roksu knew the reason behind.

Cale kept it quiet though. He knew what Roksu would think about the world trying to kill him.

Roksu’s curse trying to kill him.

Roksu didn’t know how or why he was cursed like this, but in a world where monsters sometimes crawled through the rift and his brother was a reincarnated noble from another world, having a curse seemed comparably normal.

The thing was that Cale kept living. Roksu despised the comparison to a cockroach but Cale truly was as difficult to kill as Hans.

In some ways, it filled Roksu’s heart with the hope that they could continue like this. That despite it all, they really could survive together and maintain a modest happiness. Even if Roksu was never able to make any other friends in his whole life, that was okay so long as he had his brother.

In other ways, it filled him with dread. The constant knowledge that one day Cale’s luck would run out. That something would tear them down.

That all the happiness and peace they’d built up would be torn down in a blink of an eye.

So when Roksu walked out of the last test of his second year of university, fairly confident that he’d passed, he wasn’t filled with joy or excitement.

Pure dread.

A fear resounded so agonizingly in his heart that he almost couldn’t focus on the test.

Throughout the semester, the constant fear had built to a crescendo and he was unable to deny the paralyzing terror any longer.

It was a lot easier to detach himself from reality. To distance his own emotions and feel that this couldn’t possibly be real.

Roksu stopped on his walk home.

He couldn’t quite bring his feet forward. Every step felt like further confirmation of something awful. Something disgusting.

It couldn’t be that easy.

It hadn’t been easy, every day was a struggle. They were always tight for money, Cale always worked too hard, the threat of the curse and monsters hung over them, and even after graduating there was no guarantee of getting a good job in this economy.

It was hard.

But Roksu’s expectation of life was that it always got harder. Whenever there was the slightest victory, that would mean yet another challenge was awaiting on the horizon.

It was suffocating.

Roksu looked down at his feet.

Move.

He should go and pick up his brother from work. Then they’d have a normal night together. There was no point in anticipating that something was wrong before the terrible thing had even happened.

What if today he was already too late?

What would happen next?

Could they survive it?

It didn’t feel real.

At this rate, he would easily achieve a degree and get a job and their financial situation would further stabilize and they could really survive. At this rate, they could find actual happiness. Maybe one day they would even get to relax.

Such a terrifying thought.

Roksu wanted it, he wanted it so selfishly and greedily and it really did seem to be within his grasp at the current rate of things. They were absolutely making it work despite it all.

The complacency was so scary.

Red. The sound of the ground shattering. His brother's broken body below. The muted sounds around him and the inability to breathe.

Red. The stench of blood and his pained expression.

Red. His brother's hair glinting in the sunlight, just before the car came careening at them.

Roksu clenched his fists at his side and tried to catch his breath, breathing unevenly as memories fought for supremacy over his heart.

He just couldn’t seem to breathe.

Everything was just going too well for too long. Something was sure to happen and he couldn’t predict how or when.

His vision spun as he looked down at the concrete below him, unable to move for fear that he would collapse.

Roksu, as a rule, wasn’t a nosy person. He already noticed and remembered far more than he ever cared to. His ideal lifestyle was to go on living without getting involved in the world around him. To be able to forget.

To be able to move on.

Roksu never pressed Cale for information about his other life . It was clearly a painful subject for his hyung and it never seemed to have much relevance toward their current lives. It was another world, another family. Another everything.

Roksu would never admit it, not even to himself, but a part of him never wanted to bring it up because of how distant Cale became.

Kim Kwangsu seemed to fade away under the overwhelming presence of Cale Henituse. And for all that they were the same person under the same name and two different bodies, there was something about it that made Roksu insecure.

Sometimes he wondered if Cale’s ability to survive the curse wasn’t due to luck or skill, but rather his own detachment with this world.

It felt as though the life of Cale Henituse could claim his brother once more and Kim Kwangsu would become nothing but a memory.

The fear was irrational and Roksu hardly even understood it, but there was something so dreadful about acknowledging that other life.

…sometimes he couldn’t help but feel that Cale would prefer to have been reborn there, back to his original family, and never met Roksu…

He wouldn’t be cursed. He wouldn’t suffer or work. He would be able to live happily.

And Roksu would be alone.

The thought was crippling.

A hand touched Roksu’s shoulder and forcefully pulled him from his thoughts.

He turned, heart leaping in his chest, only to see no one behind him.

Roksu’s fingers moved up to his shoulder as he looked around, the phantom feeling of a touch still remaining.

Creepy… seriously creepy…

Roksu made his best attempt to shake off the spookiness of it and progressed forward hastily. He wanted to get home as soon as possible.

He was so rushed he didn’t notice the shift that occurred where his feet had been, a crack in the concrete that now contained grass from another world.

He also didn’t hear the muttered words left behind.

“...what a troublesome kid.”

Roksu didn’t pick up Cale from work. Too panicked and too unnerved to do anything but return to the refuge that their humble apartment offered.

He forgot how much he hated empty apartments.

There was no sign of Hans’ skittering when he closed the door behind him, just an empty and dark home.

Roksu closed his eyes.

His uncle’s forceful grip on his hair before his face was bashed into the ground.

Roksu tried to remember how to breathe and really couldn’t understand how it had become so hard.

His life would be so much easier if he could forget.

The emptiness of the apartment offered nothing in the way of danger or safety. It was just empty and dark.

A blank canvas for his mind to fill with anything.

Roksu swallowed thickly and held a hand over his chest, attempting to calm down. Attempting to stop hyperventilating. Attempting to stop everything raging inside of him.

It was so much easier to suppress this when he had to fight for every day, for every moment. A moment of struggle was a moment where he couldn’t fixate on a past that couldn’t be changed. The human mind set aside those instances for a time of safety and then forced people to face their demons.

It was cruel.

Roksu’s breath hitched.

What would he do if Kwangsu really did disappear?

What would he do if Kwangsu proclaimed that he never thought of Roksu as a brother, not really, and left him for another world.

Roksu thought about it.

The other world seeping into their own. Kwangsu claimed there was nothing waiting for him there but he was clearly still attached. He liked it when Roksu called him Cale, he liked styling his hair how it used to be , he liked to name their damn pests after servants he knew as nobility.

Cale hadn’t let go.

What would he do if all that he had left was this empty apartment?

Roksu slid down the door, his legs unable to sustain his weight any longer and a cold acceptance filling him.

…wasn’t that better…?

If Kwangsu left him, wouldn’t it be harder for the curse to reach him?

Wouldn’t it be better for Roksu to live a life of true solitude.

I could do it.

Roksu knew he could.

He wasn’t incapable of living on his own. He would manage. He would have to drop out of university and get a job but he could do that. He didn’t need his brother to survive. He knew that with an absolute certainty.

So why did the thought make him feel so cold?

He choked, his latest attempt to breathe properly turning him into a hacking and coughing mess as he practically vomited by the front door, confident in the knowledge that he was alone.

That he might stay alone forever.

The constant fear that one day he would lose his only family and he was powerless to stop that. In fact, his existence would likely be the reason, ripped open flesh with an unspeakable pain.

But he could do it.

A hand touched his back and Roksu froze, memories of his uncle so fresh and powerful that he was going to lose his mind, he thrashed out and just too late saw how he’d struck Kwangsu’s face.

Cale didn’t say anything.

He pulled Roksu into a hug and rubbed his back gently, keeping his shuddering and gasping brother held close while Roksu found the strength to calm down.

Roksu wasn’t sure how long it was when the ringing in his ears faded and he finally heard Cale’s voice.

“Shh… it’s okay, I’m here. Don’t worry. I’m here.”

What had Roksu said? Had he said anything or had he sobbed wordlessly and Cale had miraculously understood his fears?

It was mortifying.

Roksu was always scared of what would happen. The better his life became, the more scared he became.

The more that the shadows from his past leaked up from behind him and tore his body apart.

“It’s okay. I’m here, Roksu.”

Roksu sank into the warmth of his brother’s hug. The good thing about Cale was that he wouldn’t force Roksu to explain why he’d had such an extreme emotional reaction. The bad news was that Cale probably already knew somehow and that was embarrassing.

Roksu didn’t like airing out his insecurities.

When Roksu’s breathing had stabilized, Cale picked him up. It was a bit of a shock for Roksu but he knew that Cale worked at those construction sites and as Cale liked to put it with dramatic flair “I never miss leg day” so of course he could pick up his lazy scrawny brother.

It was still quite a scary experience before Roksu understood what was happening and he stifled a yelp.

Cale misunderstood and apologized, setting Roksu down onto the ground where his feet felt a bit stronger beneath him.

“...you okay now?”

Do you want to talk about it?

Roksu shook his head and headed deeper into the apartment, the lights making everything look much better and his heart now pained with embarrassment rather than fear. Still, he let Cale fret over him and braid his hair before insisting that they splurge on ordering out. To celebrate Roksu completing his second year.

A feeble attempt for Cale to hide how concerned he really was.

They weren’t perfect and the fear remained and sometimes it still didn’t feel real at all.

But they had each other.

And maybe they really could just be happy.