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"Ugh, I'm so itchy! I should never have gone on that stupid case with you!" He told Sherlock, trying not to scratch his arms and legs which were covered with the red rash that came with poison ivy.
"I didn't force you to come!" Sherlock said as he not so subtly itched his own poison ivy reaction from the opposite end of the sofa.
"Sherlock, don't scratch it, it will only make it worse!"
"But it's so itchy!" Sherlock all but whined.
"I'm the doctor here, you have to do what I say! You got us into this mess. I'm going to make sure we don't get any infections."
"Oh come on, you can't tell me you don't want to itch all over right now. Imagine how good it will feel, imagine the relief of just a little scratch."
He could imagine it. How good it would feel just to itch and be done with it…
No! He can't though because as a doctor he knew how bad a poison ivy infection could be and he wasn't going to let him or his obnoxious flatmate get one.
"No, Sherlock!"
"Are you sure?" Sherlock asked and leaned over and scratched his shoulder.
He had a particularly bad case of poison ivy there (which Sherlock had of course deduced) and finally, the itch being itched felt amazing. Of course, it made him want to scratch himself even more now which wasn't helping.
"I bet that felt amazing, John," Sherlock said, smirking knowing exactly what he had done.
"Oh, yeah?" He challenged and gave a quick scratch to Sherlock's leg where he knew he also had a bad case of poison ivy.
"God, that feels amazing," He moaned.
"It's supposed to be payback."
"Well if all I have to do to get you to do that again then fine!" Sherlock said and started to scratch him all over (careful of course to not break skin because that's how infection starts).
"Oh, God!" He groaned and began to scratch Sherlock's back.
"Mmm, oh John, oh!" Sherlock called out after he had scratched an especially itchy spot.
"You like that, don't you?"
"Yes, I do, I so do! Don't stop, please don't ever stop!" He called out.
…
After he and Sherlock had had their one-time-only scratching session Mrs. Hudson had come over an hour later with the calamine lotion she had promised to bring over when she had the chance.
"Congratulations boys, I always knew you two would end up together!" She said, smiling kindly.
"I'm sorry what?" He asked, confused.
"Well if you wanted it to be a secret then you should probably have tried to at least keep it down. The whole building probably knows." She said and gave them a wink.
"What do y-" Sherlock started to say but then went bright red.
"Oh my gosh, Mrs. Hudson, no, that's not what we were doing we can explain you see-"
She just held up a hand "It's fine, dearies. We get all sorts of types around here." She said, "I'll leave you two to it," and then she left the flat leaving a pair of thoroughly embarrassed men behind.