Chapter Text
“fucking hell, [First]. remind me why you dated him again?” suna was sprawled across your bed, the card in his hands reflecting the light coming in through your window.
“rin. i’m friends with you, remember? i have bad taste in men.”
shifting up to lean against your headboard, suna glared at you. “very funny. you think you’re clever, don’t you?”
“i do, in fact. cleverer than you, at least.” you shot back as you got up out of your chair to grab the mini watering can sitting on your shelf- the basil plant you’d affectionately named oikawa seemed about ready to wither up and die at the slightest inconvenience. ironic.
“see, anyone that’s actually clever knows that cleverer isn’t a word. i think someone needs to check their temperature, cause you just got burned.” he flopped back onto his side, watching you water oikawa.
you put the watering can down and moved to smack him upside the head. “real mature, rin. who the fuck still even says burned? it’s like everyone moved on and left you in 2010.”
he dodged your attack- of course he did, he’s honed the skill over more than fifteen years of your attempted assaults- and grinned up at you. “at least i didn’t say roasted. would you have preferred baked? how about boiled?”
“i’ll sous vide you. move over, you bed hog. it’s time to plan akihito’s downfall.” you flopped down next to him, a brand new notebook in hand.
he took one of the pens you offered and uncapped it, testing the ink on his hand. “you sound like he’s a king and you’re gonna stage a coup and kill him.”
“he’s sure as hell not a king but i wouldn’t be against killing him-“ you laughed, uncapping a pen and flipping open the notebook to reveal the crisp new sheets of paper sandwiched inside. “project mission: involuntarily castrate akihito. start date- what’s the date?” you asked, not looking up.
suna grabbed his phone from the end of the bed, turning it on and showing you.
“friday, may 13th” was emblazoned over suna’s lock screen; a photo of you two as kids, sitting on a field with paint smeared all over your faces.
“you still haven’t changed your lock screen? we have so many better photos..“ you wondered out loud- focused on highlighting all the words you wrote on the title page on the notebook in red ink.
“i like this one- you have snot on your face, and i look like i’m about to cry. it’s charming, don’t you think? now, are you done making the cover page aesthetic, princess? can we move on to the good stuff?”
“i do not have snot on my face. you’re hallucinating, dumbass. let me just.. and done!” you cheered. the dot on the ‘i’ in ‘involuntarily’ now had a knife going through it. “aesthetics are important, rin. if we get arrested or sued for this at least the evidence’ll look good as it’s being presented to the court.”
suna rolled his eyes. “like we’ll ever go to court. crimes aren’t illegal so long as we don’t get caught.”
“what movie did you steal that from? ‘my husband is a secret vampire werewolf mafia boss!’?” you laughed.
- you seemed to do that a lot more with him than you did with anyone else, suna mused. perks of being childhood friends, he decided. -
“yeah. we watched that one together, remember? you loved it.” he began speaking in a terrible falsetto- attempting (and failing miserably) to mimic your voice. “’oh my, mr vampire werewolf mafia boss adrian is soooo attractive!!! i would let him step on me..’” he couldn’t dodge fast enough- you managed to smack him this time.
“don’t tell me that’s an actual movie-“ you wheezed out, arms flailing about and trying to land another hit on your best friend as he writhed around like a snake, successfully avoiding every single swing.
“it’s not-”
you breathed a sigh of relief. “thank the lor-“
“yet.”
you shoved him off the bed. “you’re such an asshole. why are we best friends again?”
“you love me, don’t even. do i really need to tell the story about how our moms-“ he looked up at you from the floor, a grin slowly spreading across his face.
you cut him off. “NO! don’t you dare; i can’t go through that shit again- that was traumatizing.” you shuddered.
suna stuck his hand out from the floor and groaned. “oh no, [First], you broke my back.. now you gotta help me up and bake me cookies as compensation.”
sighing, you grabbed his hand and moved to drag him upright. “when do i not bake you- woah!” with a swift yank, suna dragged you down onto the floor with him. you hit the floor with a loud thump and a shriek, and immediately sat up and attacked him as he laughed.
“you- suck- why- do- i- even-“ you punctuated each word with a smack.
“okay, okay, i’m sorry- i surrender!” he wheezed, still laughing his head off.
“i hate you. you’re exiled from the bed- you can sit on the floor.” you let out a resolute ‘hmph!’ and crossed your arms as you got up and flopped back onto your covers.
“harsh.. you love me too much for that.” he stood up and lay on top of you. “you’re not a very good pillow, spooks. too bony.”
- spooks. you still remembered why suna gave you that nickname. when you two were ten, you and suna had gone to one of those corn mazes on halloween. somehow, in the confusion, you’d gotten separated from him.
that’s when a killer clown ran by you and plopped a hollowed-out pumpkin on your head. your poor ten-year-old self freaked out and ran, running into, around, and even through the walls of the corn maze. the rest of the children had just been minding their own business when a screaming black-robed figure with a pumpkin on their head charged out of the wall and past them, only to run and smack face- well, pumpkin-first into another. you’d kept running until you ran into someone and knocked them over. by some miracle, it was suna. he’d grabbed the pumpkin and yanked it off your head, laughing his head off. “didn’t know you were scared of pumpkins, [First].”
“shut up..” you’d mumbled. “i wasn’t expecting it- i got spooked, okay?”
“sure, sure. you’re okay? let’s go then, spooks.” -
you were snapped out of your daze by a gentle flick on your forehead. “hey. hello? anyone home?” suna waved his hand around in front of your face.
“sorry, did you say something? i zoned out.”
“yeah. we should get started on the wedding plans. t-minus 5 weeks until akihito attaches himself to some poor woman like a leech, remember?”
you snorted. “let’s get this party started, then, shall we?”