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As panic begins to settle into my aching bones, heavy gasps rip themselves from my lungs, as I try to inhale the air that seems adamant on never entering the lungs of this cursed man. The buzzing of hovering bugs, the zooming of passing cars, and the hum of music blasting from one of the few caravans slowly drifts into numbed silence. My overpowering heart beat bangs against my eardrums. My eyes glued wide open at the changing colors from hazy blues to an all too familiar red with grey clouds swirling blurring the edges of the colors together. The acidic taste of vomit climbs up my body, clawing into my stomach like a pick axe against the side of a mountain till the weight of imaginary regurgitated food falls heavy on my tongue.
Imaginary claws rip into my aching sides, the screeching of tires churns into the squealing of demobats. The ever darkening sky follows suit flashing the image demobats swirling like a tornado above my head. Broken beer bottles clank against each other, beer cans rattle against the pebbles around, the remaining unidentifiable trash crashes into me as a heavy rumbling curls against my skull. My fingers press harshly into the surrounding dirt, clawing at imaginary bonds that pin me to the floor. A choked out sound that whispers itself up to my ears as if they came from a mouth separate from my body. My close finally clench close as tears pool down my dirt caked face waiting for the birth below me to shatter open and swallow me whole; to pull me down to the hellscape I barely survived from a couple of weeks ago.
Time passes by like a cats tail no ground splits beneath me yet the fear still has me paralyzed. The hope of being saved long since erased from my head. Slammed doors and pebbles crunching are quickly drowned out by my still overbearing heart beat. A soft sneaker pressed harshly into my ribs feels like talons getting ready to rip flesh from flesh. A thick glob of spit clogs my dry throat as a blurred face passes over my haze filled eyes.Vecnas cackling face flashes by I try to will myself to run, claw at his face, scream or do anything but lay here. Yet as moments tick by my limbs lay heavy pinned by illusioned bonds, any sound is cut off at the top of my throat, and my lungs stay frozen.
Heavy hands push in to my shoulders as more tears rush forward. A gargled whimper is pulled from my throat as everyone whom I love flashes by in my head. The bastards hands pull me upwards to drag me from everyone and finally I can move. My hands reach out to grip at the closest thing I can reach, putting as much pressure as I possibly can. My dull fingernails scratch into the faceless persons skin. Heavy hands remove themselves from my shoulders trying to pry my hands from them.
Steves of shaky voice flows through my ears slowly pulling me from the nightmarish panic attack that gripped me so tightly. "Ed... D... Die... Eddie...EDDIE!." Seconds pass by, Steves' voice becoming more panicked as my eyes begin to unhase and focus on the scene before me. Steves pale face framed with terror as his hands rip in to where mine are trying to choke him. Realization sets in rapidly and as swiftly as my hands had appeared on his neck they were gone; replaced by his own rubbing at the fresh bruising appearing on his tan skin.
Matching gasps are pulled from our throats as I try to stumble out an apology. The whispered voice that sounds foreign and unlike me calls into the echoing air. "Oh god, I-I'm so story. Shit, fuck okay are you okay Steve?"
Steve look at me, eyes peeled open with fear a shaky and raspy voice finally calls back a few moments later. "Fuck I dont know dude. I pull up expecting to see your busted up old caravan instead you're collapsed on the dirt surrounded by bottles and trash." His eyes circling the trash dump that circled me as he continued on. "Thinking you passed out while drunk I hop out to come wake you up to see you hardly breathing with your eyes clenched and mouth agape. I go to shake you awake and suddenly your eyes are wide open and your hands are trying to choke me out,"
Steves voice echoes less and less till it is a solid singular voice as the adrenaline for saving myself drips from my spine and into the ground. I groggily look at the floppy haired man as he massages the fresh bruises and healing scars that clash against the tan skin on his hand and neck. A dazed answer croaks out of me. "Shit. I-I I dont really know fully. One minute I'm just laying here following the shape of clouds." Shivers take over my shoulders and hands as I form the next few words. "The next the sky is was getting redder and redder. All I could focus on was the feeling of my scars being ripped open, blood pooling around my arms, and the cold dust pressing into fresh wounds." New tears prick at my eyes threatening to fall over, I shallowly laugh out the next bit. "I dont feel like I should be alive Stevie, that fucking place... It still haunts me every time I close my eyes. I know Vecnas is dead I saw it with my own eyes but I still feel like I'm trapped there."
His panicked eyes slowly soften with understanding as I speak. "I get it Eddie... I really do. I had nightmares most people couldn't fathom up after the first time I fought a demo-gorgon. Hell I still have nightmares that I dont know how to explain to all of yall even though we all went through it together," His eyes droop down towards some pipe that was tossed here a few days ago. With a somberer voice he continued on tears pricking at his own eyes. "I think even now with Vecna gone and the gates closed, none if us will ever truly be free from there."
His fist clenches at his side at each following word. "God-damn it; when I look at Will, Eleven, Dustin, Max, everyone else my heart breaks. Will is probably one of the worst if not the worst affected by everything. He sometimes has waking dreams there, Jonathon will wake up to the kid screaming bloody murder trying to claw his flesh off. The first time it happened Argyle and Jonathan had been outside taking a break and smoking. When they came inside Will had started screaming bloody murder, Jonathan busted in his room seeing the kid drenched in his own blood scratches covering his face and arms. Since then almost every night Jonathan has to pin Will down for a few minutes up to an hour." Tears had started to drip down Steves face. His shoulders shook heavily as he went on. "Me and Will talked about it a couple of nights ago... he says the upside down without Vecnas tampering is healing like when you flush out dirt from a fresh wound." I tilt my head in confusion not sure how the two compare. A soft knowing look pops in his eyes before he explains. "Painful, dirty, and aggravating. Will also says that the upside down is angry front he damage Vecna did to it, the damage caused by us killing the bastard, and about having another intruder there. He thinks it getting more understanding and less angry though since now the attacks he does to himself are less aggressive now."
We nod at each other before he continues on. "Eleven she sometimes wakes up crying feeling like some part of her is missing. She, although less often, claws at herself too but its always around her chest like her heart isnt fully there anymore; she blames it on the fact that she spent so much time there mentally... She asked me last time we were alone if I think that when she dies if she'll go to the upside down. She looked so scared and yet so hopeful. Fuck man Eddie how do you respond to that?!" Steves entire body started to shake and voice breaking. "I'm so scared that if I would've said yes that she would kill herself to get that piece back." I quickly rushed over to his sitting figure as I held his head to my shoulder as he broke down sobbing, his finger nails clawing against my dirt-covered shirt hard enough to scratch through it. Not knowing much else to do I started rocking him side to side as I hummed a slower version of Iron man (Black sabbath) into his hair.
Slowly he sat up eyes puffy and a shaky grin splashed across his face. "Th-Thanks Eds. I know this isn't all that fun for you b-but do you think I could go on without stressing you out too much.?" Ignoring the feeling of a blush brushing against my cheeks, I press my thump into his knee.
"Of course Stevie knowing you I'm the first person you've let this out to. Always the ever present night in shining armor to the kids." A lazy smile gripped my cheeks before he went on.
"Dustin... Dear god... he... he was there when you almost died. You both thought you were going to die, and he just sat there holding you to his chest... He says that he's fine but the kid sucks at telling lies you know this. If he Hears a Metallica song he starts to cry a little. The first time someone said shit about you still being a Satan worshipper and the cause of everything he got so angry; I think had me and Lucas not caught him the bitch wouldve died from Dustin hitting her head with how hard he was struggling to get to her." A soft chuckle brushed from his throat looking into the skies like the butt-head was staring at him from there.
"And max..." Steve gagged around the name like he was in pain. I cant blame him. she was one of the most physically damaged of his children. He loves them so much so that he might as well be most of their parents. He looked over at me seeming to ask for permission to go on, I softly squeezed his knee and nodded. "Max aside from the physical issues and the nightmares she''s going through something I can't even attempt to explain. It hurts me so much that I cant understand so in turn I cant help her through it." Tears poured down his face as he hiccuped through the next words. "Every time she tries to explain it to me... I shutdown in a way. Maybe it's because hearing her going through anything else tears me apart or something I just don't know what to do to help her." He leans his head down, pulling his knees-up to cradle it.
I nod even though he can't see me from his angle. Thinking of my own attempts at getting it, needing Dustin and her to do a mixture of dnd phrases and normal speech to get me to understand the situation. "I know it might not work but maybe hearing it from me and having it explained differently than how she tries to explain you might understand it better?" His usually styled hair flops around excessively as he whips his head around to face me. Cautious hope filled his tired and swollen eyes.
"Are you fucking with me... cause if so I swear to god I'll beat your ass Munson." His eyes shifting from hope to anger and back.
I let out a low chuckle. "Nah I ain't gonna do that. Max deserves so much better than they have; since neither of us can give him the world instead I can at-least make sure that.." The next handful of words were accentuated by finger quotation marks. " 'Mommy Harrington' is able to understand what shes going through. As well you deserve to help your kiddos as much as you can."
A playful twinkle crossed his eyes as he lifted his lip and released a heat less snarl. "Im not their MoOom, but hey at-least if nothing else they have Da-a..." Steves' face bursted into an array of pinks as he shifted his eyes to somewhere past my head. "She would at least have you Eddie." His head tilted as he smiled at me hair framing the rough curves of his face. Shifting slightly so I can look to the side of him I smiled back trying not to think too hard on his spluttered words, knowing if I did I'd just be leading my heart on. Instead I remind myself with how his own father is he may just feel uncomfortable with the word itself.
I let a teasing glare and a smirk with teeth pop in my face as I slightly leant forwards and said. "Sure your not the kid's mom and I have never heard of Metallica." A slight eye roll crossed his face before I shifted back to the more serious topic at hand. "So as you know Max is almost completely blind?" A small frown graced Steves face as his hair swung around his head with the quick nod he gave,
"Okay so you know how when lights are pressed behind something or pressed against an object they create a halo like effect." His nose and eyes scrunched up as if trying to imagine the way lights appear. A smile popped on his face as he understood and rapidly nodded. "So although Max cant see people or objects as anything beyond a faint shadow, she sees a colored halo around people. Each person's halo' looks different in color and shape. They think the color is the person's general personality but the shape is an indicator of how someone feels at a specific time."
A thick curl of confusion wrapped around Steves' words and face. "What do you mean the color and shape is their personality or mood?"
A smile graced my face as I responded. "So you know how Dustin can be a bit of a butt headed know it all?" A low grunt echoed from my chest as I shifted into a more comfortable position.
Steves eyes rolled eerily far back. A slight curl of panic wrapped around my lung before he looked back at me and nodded. "The kid as much as I love him can be quite the sassy know it all what about it?" A small chuckle belted from him when he finished, probably thinking of some memory of Dustin doing just that.
"So for max the halo around Dustin is like yellow with green splots mixed in. When he's calm it cloaks around him like a wet rag on a water bottle. When he gets all know it ally on you it life up from the floor slightly spinning slightly and covered in small spikes. When hes angry though it gains dark red splots all over it and lifts all the way into the air besides where it wraps tightly around his chest and head. The floaty bits get super spiky though." The last part becoming muffled by my yawns.
At the end his face looks serious before relaxing with a nod. "I dont get it completely but I do understand to a degree." He lazily lifts his head once again looking somewhere above my head before tilting slightly. "By the way Yawner Mcyawnerson Munson where the hell is the caravan." I let out a quiet chuckle, looking over my shoulder like my old home would suddenly appear. Tears pricked my eyes before I spoke up.
"It broke, during the big gate opening it just ripped straight down the middle. I know Wayne was offered a new place between a house and a trailer. Before he found out that I was supposedly dead he chose to give us an actual home but..." A few tears trailed down my cheek thinking of my uncle who may as well be a dad with how he treats me. "After he heard from Dustin I passed he just kinda packed up and ran. I get it though of the only thing holding you to a shitty town was dead. don't you think you'd run too? Last I heard was that before he ran he told Hopper he just couldn't stand this damned place anymore. Quoted from hopper 'My boy he's dead and near everyone's actin' like a boys death is some righteous justice from their all-mighty god who aint care about the lives of anyone who aint rich, overly preppy, or full of enough hate to turn a teaspoon of sugar sourer than a lime. Hopper tried to reach him but anytime he called Wayne's answer his voice and hang up. I think Wayne thinks Hoppers just going to try and bring him back here or something so he won't listen." I close my eyes picturing Wayne finally living a better life than he did here. "Supposedly he's up in north Indianapolis. Maybe he finally met a nice woman now that hes not surrounded by judgmental widowers."
Before I knew it I was pinned to the ground, head nearly hitting a bottle as Steve pulled me close to him. "Why didn't you tell anyone about not having a place to stay after we all decided to go to our own homes on Wednesday huh you punk?" A noogie rusled up my already messy hair.
"Well we have all been super busy trying to piece back our crap shoot lives after everything. I didnt want to be a bother plus everyone's houses are filled or if they arent their owned by people who still think I m a devil worshipping cult leader." Both me and Steve rolled our eyes at the last part. Suddenly a light slap hit the side of my head as Steve stared at me as though I were a thoughtless child who jumped into an ice-cold lake in winter.
"Dude, I've got four guest rooms but one of them ive turned into the kids study. As well when fall or winter hits my parents are sending a moving company to get all their stuff so soon it'll be guest rooms."
"What why aren't they coming back to their stuff?" Confusion filled my head.
A low and very halfhearted laugh filled the space around us. "Eddie aside from the fact that they couldn't give less of a fuck about me except what I do to the Harrington name they wanted to get out of the town permanently for a couple of years they just hadn't found a reason to until all this happened. I called them when things calmed down they said I can keep the house just pack their stuff and leave them alone so hey at least I have a free house." The laugh after although more honest didnt reach his eyes. He stood up grabbed my forearms with large hands before pushing me to his BMW, a smile gracing his face. "Come on lets go home, we'll pick up food on the way. After we get there we'll set you up in one of the three remaining rooms.
He nearly skipped to the car as I followed after him, a soft smile graced his face as he turned to me as he opened the car door. "Come on slow poke."
I shook my head, with Steve I guess everything is an adventure even without telekinetic psycho serial killers to fight.
His joy simmered into my own I smiled back and nodded in agreement. Whatever follows this night will be an adventure on its own even if there's no psychotic telekinetic murders to light the way.