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Hifumi has a little silly idea and Doppo was stupid enough to play along. Is Doppo regretting his life choices? With his hands all sweaty and jittery? His pen slipping off his hands billions of times within the past hour, somersaulting off his shaking desk coated in splatters of cold sweat? That instantaneous ripping of the thick blanket of noises when all eyes land to his part of the classroom every time his pen falls with a sequence of thuds, as he chases his pen like it's a frog hopping on lily pads? Definitely.
"C'mon, Mister Romantic. Didn't know Cupid runs a chicken business. Quit chickening out already, geez!"
The redhead's brows twitch, just like every muscle comprising his undesirable existence. And Hifumi? The blonde's chipper voice distorts into a fit of giggles. Hifumi slaps Doppo's desk while wheezing like a damn kettle-
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"I told ya~ pfft-." The blonde pauses to gasp for air, only to waste it on another series of slapping and laughing. "You've been at it for like..." One by one, he flips fingers of both hands while mouthing numbers. "The past two weeks. TWO WEEKS, MAN. TWO WEEKS! Please-" He wheezes. "Like, you sure you're just writing a little letter or is this an itinerary for like, until after honeymoon?"
"Just my last will, Hifumi." And Doppo melts onto the surface of his desk, his caffeinated heart boxing the wood, as the pen falls off for the nth time. But, in this instance, he didn't bother to care anymore. Wish he could do the same for these bothersome thoughts and feelings.
Stupid, stupid, stupid. The redhead groans at the chaos stirring his stomach. He wipes his face on his desk as if they have run out of rags. It's not a lengthy moment, however, the rags are sure to feel offended to be replaced by a worthless person like him.
Oh the way Hifumi drops and pounds the floor when Doppo lifted his exasperated face with smudges of ink, bearing the indecisive anxious scribbles all over the back pages of his notebook-
Doppo squints at the blonde. He rolls the notebook lying out on his desk and swats Hifumi on the shoulder with a crisp smack. But his childhood friend is too busy expressing his supportive amusement. So, he grimaces, leaves it at that, and allows the notebook roll to plop down Hifumi's lap. His pallid fingers bury themselves in his mussed locks of red and turquoise while grumbling away the confused aches of his mind- his heart- and his hand that forgot what steady means whenever he tries to write.
"Doppocchin~," beams the blonde, patting the human embodiment of dopamine deprivation. "Cheer up, Doppocchin. No skincare routine will keep your eyebags from reaching your jaw soon~" Then, he sighs at the redhead muttering under his breath a monotony of self-deprecation and pessimistic prophecies. "Oh, wow, my best bud is a monk again-"
Hifumi pouts and picks up the redhead's notebook and flips it to the back with a pinky. Approximately ten or so pages are full of incomplete messages, other versions of the incomplete messages, Doppo spearheading the avant-garde bird scratch and seizure period of calligraphy, and the harsh swirls from reviving the pens spitting the last of their life midway from overuse. Looks like the redhead also had a go with the blonde's collection of colorful pens he binged-bought just for LOLs and aesthetic. "Dude... if the literature deities slept on you, 'I like you, Sensei' can still slay, y'know?"
"Hifumi!" Doppo lurches towards the blonde, frantic in dragging Hifumi to his knees in front of Doppo's desk. The redhead's dead eyes flare, as if his ass burns from sitting on blazing coals, his frustrations choke out as incomprehensible whines in his throat. "Don't. Say. It."
"Don't say what? The literature deities slept on you, and that you like Jaku-"
"AAAAAAHHHH!"
He blinks. "M'kay...?" Hifumi clasps his hands together and clears his throat. He inhales. Then, accompanies Doppo's screaming with the opera voice he's been practicing since having a random fixation towards theaters.
And the redhead's scream stops with a sharp whispered cuss, signaling the end of Hifumi's singing.
"Maybe I... maybe let's just forget this. Look..." This Jinguji Jakurai who handles their Japanese language class is possibly, without exaggeration, the most reputable teacher, not only in their senior high school but their whole division. Doppo is sure that no one would even be shocked if this applies to all divisions. Although, Jakurai-sensei has a low profile, and has been a traditional sort of teacher in their average high school ever since. Hifumi shares a lot of his caught gossips about other opportunities Jakurai-sensei may opt for, but the teacher barely shows any interest. Countless rumours revolve around the teacher's skills people get a glimpse of from time to time leading to speculations on probable hidden additional professions. But, their teacher waves every single one off as either him merely trying to take up a little hobby, or him expressing his slight embarrassment for people complimenting him beyond his actual capacity. Regardless of what the truth is, just Jakurai being caring and considerate to everyone, the advice he gives, the soothing effect of his deep voice- damn, especially when he chuckles? The slightest sway of his lengthy soft hair when he moves, and his amazed curious face whenever he learns something outside the traditional way of life he's accustomed too- who's Doppo kidding? Jakurai-sensei can be crouching after walking onto objects people of average height won't worry about, have his hair blown all over his face or into a mess in different directions, having his brief boomer uncle moments, but he will still be beyond admirable. "... this... this is silly, okay? He'll think this is some stupid prank from a worthless student of his trying to be relevant or some shit. He... He has more significant matters to deal with."
"Doppocchin, Doppocchin." Hifumi hooks an arm around the redhead's shoulder. "We'll be graduating soon. Whatever happens in this 'Mission: Make Doppocchin's High School Memories Mega Memorable with a Bang', we can just yeet it behind us. We gonna leave the school anyway, and it's not like your big fat crush is a tea spiller, duh~"
The pair of dull blues slides to the floor. His gaze sketches the gaps between tiles before climbing back to his desk where Hifumi returned his notebook. Yes, once he gets his absolute rejection, he can toss it onto his mental dumpster of reasons why he shouldn't have lived past being an embryo. Of course, he'll forget the embarrassment once their high school days are over. A nervous staggering low laugh escapes his lips. Definitely.
"No thanks. I'd rather-"
"A pleasant afternoon to everyone. I apologize for my tardiness."
"Good afternoon, Jakurai-sensei."
"No biggie, Sensei!"
"Someone must've asked Sensei for help as always. It's okay~"
The towering man in a plain grayish buttoned up shirt and tie positions himself in front of the board with books in hand. He motions a little nod to his students' words welcoming him. "Thank you." His mild display of worry shifts to an embarrassed chuckle, and Doppo can feel his cheeks burn. "How lucky I am to have such compassionate students. I will surely miss you all after graduation." Then, his lips curve into a gentle smile which has quite a slight somber air to it. "Unfortunately, I'll need to dismiss the class early for a faculty meeting. Kindly submit your homework here on the table and observe proper manners upon leaving the classroom. Take care, everyone, and have fun for the rest of the day."
Cheers mixed with short sweet responses to Jakurai's words fill the room. And he makes sure to cherish such, as he always does, especially when he tends to be assigned to the graduating high school senior classes. He can only hope for all of them to succeed without having to take the same problematic paths as him. Well, isn't that why he is here?
The aftertaste of liquor still lingers somewhere on his tongue. Acts committed during a state of mental obscurity roam within the ditches underneath the shadows of the neon-lit division of Shinjuku. Although infrequent, he should still stop allowing his moral compass to swim in bottles of liquor due to his personal issues soon, at least, for these young ones who hold him with high regard when they shouldn't.
"Doppocchin, hurry! There are like, limited edition prizes at the arcade. Ain't that totes cool?! C'mon! C'mon!"
"E-eh... but I just want to go home-"
"Hmph! Boomer... I'mma cook omelette rice, so come with me, Doppocchin! Please, please, pretty please."
Hifumi is already tugging on Doppo's arm when Jakurai's deep voice made them freeze.
"Forgive me for disrupting you two."
"Oho~ wassup, Sensei!" The blonde sneaks a glance towards the redhead before raising a high-five for their tall teacher.
Jakurai blinks. It isn't immediate. But, Jakurai closes his eyes as he smiles. Hesitant, he taps the blonde student's palm with his, and urged his mouth to utter the unfamiliar greeting. "Wa... ssup, Hifumi-kun." His huge hand moves over to pat Hifumi's head.
The mischievous blonde glances at Doppo once again, quirking his brows this time, anticipating suppressed jealousy, and daring the other to make a similar move. The redhead squints and looks away while biting the inside of his cheek.
"You appear to be rushing somewhere," asks Jakurai to the two.
"Yessir~!" Hifumi motions a playful salute. He then babbles about the prizes at the nearby arcade that will only be available until this very day. Even mentioned the different games they can play to have enough tickets to avail the prizes. Jakurai nods and hums now and then, enjoying himself in the blonde student's enthusiasm. His gaze shifts to the redhead when Hifumi whines with childish stomps as he narrates how his best bud, Doppo, would rather be a killjoy and head home instead of accompanying Hifumi. Jakurai's lips crack into the slightest of amused smiles.
"Now, now. I'm sure he is rooting for you to win the prizes you sought after. Doppo-kun might just be quite tired for the day. Oh- which reminds me of my concern..." Jakurai shifts to the redhead. "Doppo-kun, about your homework."
The redhead is once again stunned. "Y-yes?" His slouch straightens, a barrage of anxiety-inducing thoughts turn his hands and feet ice cold.
"I figured that it could be since you're exhausted or in a haste. You seemed to have mistaken your note-taking one for your homework notebook?"
"Note... taking..." And, it dawns on Doppo, glimpses of him writing on the back pages of the notebook he uses when taking notes for Jakurai's class loop in his mind. It's all because he's stupid enough to follow Hifumi's advice. Try writing his confession while in Jakurai's class for inspiration, he said. That way he won't get caught doing something else aside from jutting down notes during lectures, he said. Damn- But it's his fault for forgetting which notebook was on his desk and later submitted to their teacher. His face and hair share the same color now, teeth chattering so hard, Hifumi has to cough at the unexpected woodpecker imitation.
"There, there. Exhaustion can cause quite a confusion especially during unexpected occasions." Jakurai's smile is gentle and quite apologetic. He leans down in such a pace where Doppo can choose whether to evade him or not. Except, Doppo is already an awkward statue on the spot. His heartbeat performing a countdown for him.
The tall teacher caresses the redhead's head. His hand feels huge. It warms the entirety of Doppo's scalp that the embarrassment to crumble is the only thing keeping his gelatin legs from turning to mush underneath him.
"Is your homework with you, Doppo-kun? Fret not. You may rest for now and submit it some other time if it isn't."
Those soothing blues seem to see through Doppo's soul. Their warmth seeping into his insides like a caring embrace. Fuck- was he deep in desperation that the mere sight of Jakurai looking at him makes him want to hug him so badly? His breath hitches.
"Y-yes-" His voice cracks. Even his ears are red now at Hifumi snickering behind him.
Doppo earns another pat on the head. "Such an industrious student of mine. Oh, but please try to manage your sleep too, understand?" Jakurai's thumb ghosts over the dark circles under the redhead's eye. "I would be more than happy to know that you are healthy."
Doppo can only nod. His gaze is staggering, like his shaky hand rummaging through his bag for his homework. His chest is going to pop- no, explode. Maybe Jakurai-sensei can feel it from his thumb against his eye bag. "H-h-here, S-sensei." The redhead takes an abrupt step backwards, his bow too low while presenting his submission with both hands.
Jakurai bites his lip from the inside. His poor student might become more upset if he catches the teacher's amusement towards such an interesting gesture. "Thank you, Doppo-kun." He accepts the notebook and brings out Doppo's first submission. "And here is the one for your notes."
Should he take it? Or should he just let Jakurai-sensei keep it?
Doppo fumbles for a while, eyes flickering from the notebook where his sorry excuses for a confession are and his fidgeting feet. The redhead locks his eyes shut and snatches the notebook from their teacher's hands, muttering an almost incoherent apology, gratitude and farewell all at once.
Jakurai responds with a hum. He is silent as he watches Hifumi vibrating in enthusiasm and Doppo pacing towards his friend.
And then, in a flash, Doppo rushes back to where the tall teacher is. Whether his eyes are shut or glued on the floor, Jakurai can't tell. What he can clearly see are the back pages, roughly ripped by the side, admiration in a compilation of unfinished messages, first love in uneven ink, all on his hands.
There remains a long journey ahead outside the parameters of a classroom. I'm grateful to be deemed a special part of this ending chapter of the life of someone so endearing. I hope your dreams come true. And, if the future will provide a space for me and you
Jakurai giggles to himself at Hifumi's thunderous "HOLY SHIT!" as the blonde and redhead appear to have found Jakurai's own unfinished message left on the new back page of Doppo's notebook.