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“Hey- how was the rest of your day?” Travis called out as Vic came through the door. For a brief moment, she enjoyed the normalcy of it all. No matter what was going on, she could come home and he would be around. Them moving in together had been a great call, the combination of the stability and the companionship was incredible, Vic could tell that Travis was happier too, he just seemed calmer and more content. She didn’t think she would have survived the past few months without him.
“Fine. You?” She hadn’t calculated how to tell him that she was pregnant yet. It was complicated and she didn’t really want to tell anyone to be honest, she didn’t want it to be real. It had just slipped out when she told Andy. She didn’t want to worry anyone else, more than they already were at least. But she didn’t know if she wanted to do this without him.
“Fine. You sure you’re good?” When she turned the corner into the living room, where Travis had been watching TV, she saw what looked like concern on his face. But she hadn’t really given him any additional reason to be concerned.
“Did Andy call you or something?” Vic couldn’t help the snark that came through in her voice. Her first thought was that they had been talking about her behind her back, again. There had been much more talking about her than talking to her. She didn’t need everyone babysitting her still.
His eyebrows shot up. “No. Should she have?” Vic’s heart sunk, she had given herself up on this one. Now Travis actually looked concerned.
“Well, I told her I’m pregnant.” She figured it would be best to just come right out with it. Vic knew she would probably end up telling him anyway. With each person she was telling it kept getting more and more real. She didn’t understand all of these feelings she was having, she was secure in her decision but had just been feeling more than she knew what to do with. “Then I jumped into the water at the houseboat.” She was fully aware of the deflection but couldn’t help herself with the light tone as she rounded the corner to the front of the couch.
Travis looked frozen. “Ok. How are you feeling about both of those things?”
“Well, I’m not having it but my hormones are a disaster,” Travis nodded along as she spoke, clearly trying to process everything she had just dumped on him. “And the jump into the water was just a thing that I did.” Vic shrugged, she wasn’t really having tons of feelings about the jump into the water which was probably a good thing. She had been having more than enough feelings recently.
“Ok. Does Theo know?” Travis’ efforts to go with the flow were admirable. Once Vic had started talking, it was easier to just get it all out.
“No. I know I should tell him. I’m just still playing catch-up.” Vic hadn’t stopped pacing since they started talking.
Travis was still on the couch, closely tracking her. “You’ve had a lot going on. It’s ok to play catch-up for a bit.” Travis seemed to be unsure of himself and Vic didn’t like it. She wanted him to be able to talk to her, to tell her what he was thinking. “What can I do?” He always figured out what to say.
His question made her pause for a moment. She hadn’t thought that far, she had been trying to figure it out by herself. She finally sat down next to him, her leg started bouncing the second she sat down, all of the energy spilling out at once. “It’s just weird that other people know. You know?”
“I can imagine. How long have you known?” Travis held his hand out where she could grab it, but she didn’t want to take it yet, Vic wanted to get through what she had to say.
“That day I went to Grey-Sloan for the palpitations. Apparently, it’s a routine test they run. I’m like five weeks. Thank goodness for Carina.” She had no idea what she would have done without Carina. Having a doctor that she trusted made things the tiniest bit easier.
“Thank goodness for Carina,” Travis repeated but then his tone shifted in a way that Vic wasn’t sure how she felt about. “Want to tell me about why you jumped into the water?”
“Honestly, I don’t know.” She wished she had a better answer for him. “I just needed everything to stop for a second. I didn’t even really think about it.” She could feel Travis’ concern without even looking at him, and if she were being honest she couldn’t blame him. She didn’t even know what was going on.
“That makes sense. It’s all been a lot.” Travis paused for a second, clearly trying to think through what he was going to say next. “Do you still feel that way?” Logically, she knew that he had to ask, but she hated it.
Vic hated all of these people worrying about her, ever since the whole debacle with Miller and her heart. So she hadn’t really been talking to anyone, which made it harder for her to figure things out. She had always been a verbal processor.
She stumbled over her words for a minute before eventually landing on. “I’m not going to do anything stupid.” True, but it definitely didn’t answer his question. She didn’t know if she wanted to honestly answer his question.
They both laughed at her response. “Well, I’m glad you aren’t going to do anything stupid.” Travis reached out to grab her hand, not giving her the option this time. “You know you can talk to us right? You can talk to me.”
“I just don’t know what to say, I don’t know what’s happening.” Vic really did not want to cry, she wasn’t able to stop her voice from cracking but she kept the tears at bay.
“Then you can come to me and not say anything.” Vic didn’t know what to make of that and made a face. Coming to Travis to not say anything sounded odd, she couldn’t picture it. They got each other to pick the scab or whatever, it was their thing. Travis picked up on the face she made and spoke again. “I mean it. We can sit in silence or we can talk about whatever you want. I’m here for you.”
“Thank you.” When he elaborated Vic wondered if it would be so bad. She trusted Travis more than anyone else on the entire planet.
“You’re not alone in any of this. I promise.” Vic leaned into him. She didn’t quite know if everything would be ok, but she knew that she wasn’t alone, and that was definitely an improvement over an hour ago.