Chapter Text
Ena just finished her night classes. She sighed in exhaustion. Night classes weren’t supposed to be that tiring, but somehow today’s Night classes are.
The busy people in Scramble Crossing are slowly decreasing. She waited for the light to turn green. She then realized she had to stop by somewhere. She was ready to walk away from the crossing road but the light turned green the moment her foot stepped away.
She had a few seconds to think but just decided to walk away and come back here. It’ll only take a few minutes anyways. She can wait.
Tick tock.
She’ll eventually give up right? She’s slowly getting drained with each and every day that passes by. Keep on trying till you reach your goal but what if it’s time to stop trying and accept it? She keeps on reaching out for Mafuyu but everything just feels draining and tiring.
Her mind wants her to give up and focus on herself but her heart says otherwise. Feelings are the worst right? They’re always blocking you from walking to the right path. You always get carried away by your own emotions and feelings just so they can be happy when inside this is the wrong decision.
Everyday, she wants someone to wind up her coil.
She pushed on the door to a bright and lovely pastry shop. It’s not that different from the other shops in this area. There’s a lot of weird cafes, shops or vending machines that stand out more.
The lady behind the counter greeted her with a soft smile. “Welcome, ms. Shinonome, back again?” She asked while she prepares for a specific pastry.
“Ah yes.” She smiled back at the kind lady. “Which one do you want for today? Strawberry shortcake, or Red Velvet?” she asked while she gently placed down both cakes on the counter.
Ena isn’t interested in both cakes because she prefers cheesecakes more than these 2. But these are not for her.
“Red Velvet.” She answered with her finger pointing at the regular sized cake. “Okay then!” The lady brought back the other cake inside of the refrigerators and took a box to place the cake in.
That’s right. It’s not for her. Is it for her brother? Like hell she would buy something for her brother. He likes cheesecakes like she does, of course he wouldn’t like this cake. Besides, Ena would just eat it anyway.
“You come here often, Ms. Shinonome. You buy all these cakes and yet you don’t gain any weight!” The lady commented while she fixed the box. Ena looked at her.
Of course Ena doesn’t gain that much weight. She doesn’t eat these cakes. “Ah thank you, Ms. But these are not for me.” she softly told her. “Oh? You’re giving these to someone? Are they someone special?” She looked at Ena then at the cake.
‘Well obviously.’ She almost let out a chuckle in that question. Why else should she buy a cake for someone? She’s wasting money and dare to say that it’s an acquaintance?
“Yes. They’re someone special to me.” She paused. “Very special.” she empathized. She’s really tired right now and she doesn’t want to have idle chit chat with someone or else she would sound rather ruder than her usual attitude.
The lady giggled at her answer. “They must be your best friend or your boyfriend right? Ms. Shinonome is very pretty so she’s guaranteed to have someone who’s chasing after her.” The lady blushed at the thought of romance. “Okay, all done! It will be 10,000 Yen but you’re a regular here so you get a discount. So it’s 5,000 Yen.”
Ena almost laughed at her, but let out a snicker. ‘A boyfriend? I’m lesbian.’ She said in her mind but kept it to herself since people are judging these days. “haha…It’s for my best friend though.” She grabbed her wallet and gave the exact amount to the innocent lady.
They both traded. The money in the lady’s hand and the box of cake on Ena’s hands.
“Your best friend must be lucky to have you giving them cakes!” she continued on with full energy. Ena wants to get out of this conversation as fast as possible because she’s conserving her energy for later.
“Mhm..She is very happy.” She walked off after what she said. She had no choice but to agree. The truth was she doesn’t know if she is truly happy to receive these gifts. She doesn’t even talk or hang out with her anymore.
“Well then, have a nice night, Ms. Shinonome!” The lady waved goodbye to her and Ena, trying to look nice, waved back before leaving the vicinity of the shop.
Ena sighed in relief. She doesn’t want to have another conversation with anyone at the moment. That lady was already enough to drain her energy.
Step step on the streets of Scramble crossing till she’s back to the red light. Now she waits for it to turn green again.
—----------------—
Ena stood in front of the house that she would enter. She took another deep breath ‘come on, Ena. You have been doing this for a while now. No need to get so nervous.’ she thought before stepping in front of the door and ringing the doorbell.
“Coming!” she heard a mother’s voice rushing to get the door.
The door was opened and there revealed to be Mafuyu’s mother. “A-Ah, Ena! You’re back again!” The mother greeted her nervously. Ena smiled at her. “Good evening, Mrs. Asahina.”
“Oh please, come in, dear.” She stepped to the side to let Ena inside. Ena happily stepped inside the house that she was in last 2 weeks ago. “Ah, by the way, Mrs. Asahina. I bought a cake for you guys to enjoy.” Ena showed the box with the cake inside after taking off her shoes.
“You brought cake again? Thank you so much, dear.” She took the box from her hands and placed them on the table.
“Would you like to eat the cake as well?” She offered but Ena refused it. She doesn’t even want to eat right now. “No thank you Mrs. Asahina. The cake is for you guys.” She politely told her. “You’re so kind, Ena. Come and sit down, let’s have tea. Mafuyu is in her room studying right now.” She went to the kitchen and started preparing.
‘Again? Seriously? All she does is study. Does she even have hobbies?’ She sat on the soft couch while she waited for the mother to finish brewing tea.
She waited for a while before she came out with hot tea. She placed them on the table and arranged them neatly before sitting down across from the brunette.
Ena took her cup and blew at the steaming tea. “You must be waiting for Mafuyu right?” She started the conversation with the topic of Mafuyu. “Ah yes. She seems like she doesn’t have time to spend time with me so instead I give gifts.” She truthfully said to her before sipping tea.
“Mafuyu is a very good girl. She always prioritizes her studies and she helps other students.” She also took a sip of the tea. Ena felt strange when Mafuyu’s mom told her that. “She’s going to have a bright future, Ena. I’m so proud of her.” She smiled.
Ena’s stomach turned at the sight of the mother showing a grin. It just doesn’t feel right to her somehow, but she ignored her gut because it’s Mafuyu’s mother we’re talking about.
“Mafuyu is really amazing, huh. But should it be fine if she takes some time off studying? I barely see her anymore.” She showed a small frown on her face. “Ah, she is! I don’t know what she does in her free time but I'm very certain that she also takes breaks.”
That line made Ena feel uncomfortable for some reason.
“That must be nice then.” She softly said before finally taking another sip of the tea that was turning cold to her.
“How about you, Ena? I heard you’re going to pursue painting.” She placed down the tea in front of her. Ena looked at her and she looked kind but serious at the same time. Ena gulped. “Y-Yes..” She took another sip of the tea.
“But isn’t that career low paying?” she commented. Ena looked at her immediately. “You should have pursued better careers. For example, medication, accounting, or architecture.” She continued on.
Ena was speechless at her. Her emotions are twisting and turning. Forming in different places in her heart.
‘What is she saying?’
“You have talent, Ena. It’s just that…You haven’t unlocked it. I think painting is not a good fit for someone as great as you, Ena.”
‘Huh?’
“And you also take night classes right?” Ena was caught off guard with that question. She thought about that woman’s goal. “Yes.” She answered her.
“Mmm…” The mother’s eyes wandered around the room to look for words to tell her. Ena was either growing furious, sad, or nervous at the woman who’s in front of her. She placed the tea cup on the table to give full attention in the sickening conversation they are having.
‘What is this woman thinking?’ She thought again and again, till her energy was slowly draining by how much she thought.
“Can you…Take a step back from my daughter?” Ena’s stomach sinked. She felt dizzy. She felt so sick about that question. That’s when Ena realized the conversation they were having…Is about staying away from Mafuyu.
“I think…Mafuyu can’t focus on her studies if she continues to be involved with Ena.” She continued with what she had to say while Ena’s eyes widened, and her words started to sound like white noises to her.
“You can refuse if you want, I’m just really concerned for Mafuyu.” That woman makes her sick to her stomach, but she can’t gather the courage to be angry at her because she’s aware with what she’s doing but didn’t realize she was bothering Mafuyu.
“No, I understand, mrs. Asahina. I’ll follow your wishes.” She forced herself to smile even though at any moment she’ll vomit. Her senses are disconnecting from her consciousness. So many thoughts running around her head.
‘I want to go home.’
“Really? Thank you, Ena. I truly believe that you actually care for Mafuyu.” She smiled at her but in Ena’s view, she can’t see her face correctly without focusing too hard. But her words were audible enough for her to understand.
“Yes. I love Mafuyu and I care for her.” Saying you love someone of the same gender is normal. Her mother won’t suspect it.
“I’ll be going now, mrs. Asahina. Thank you for the tea.” She wanted to end it. End whatever the hell that conversation was. “Already? Well it is getting kinda late.” She looked at Ena then at the windows.
Ena quickly stood up and almost fell but she quickly regained her balance before she showed any type of weakness to the woman.
“Well, good bye Ena!” She stood up as well to see the weak brunette off. Ena put back her shoes and turned the doorknob with the thought of wanting to leave as soon as possible. She doesn’t want to hear another word from her anymore. She doesn’t want to see her anymore.
“Once again Ena, thank you so much!” She waved her goodbye. Ena’s face turned pale and she looked so furious because it was just like what she thought. She doesn’t want to hear her or look at her and yet fate decided to go against her wishes.
She forced herself to look glad to look at her one last time. She doesn’t want to reply to her, but she needs to. “No problem, mrs. Asahina!” She finally blurted out of her mouth before walking away from the area.
What makes her even more sick is that their houses are beside each other so she can’t escape the Asahina’s.
But all she wants is to rest. Forever. Sleep forever and never wake up.
—----------------—
She laid down on the bed with her legs hanging off the edge of the mattress. Thinking to herself what to do. Ah right, she was thinking of taking a bath right now.
She forced herself to stand up even though her legs were begging her to not use them anymore but she ignored the screams of her already suffered legs.
After taking a warm bath and changing to her pajamas, she laid down once again on the big mattress. Bored but tired. She wants to do something that takes her mind off the woman she talked to an hour ago.
That’s when she looked up to her window.
Hello.
She turned her lifeless body so that her stomach is now on the mattress, and lifted herself up. She knelt on the soft bed. She pulled the curtains away from the closed window before unlocking it and opening it.
‘Rules are meant to be broken. I'm sorry, mrs. Asahina.’
That’s when she forgot something.
That’s right. The cup telephone.
She groaned at herself, ‘how could I forget something so important?’ She got off the bed and grabbed the cup telephone that was peacefully sitting on her table. She examined the cup telephone that fit perfectly on her hand.
‘This is the cup telephone that we always use.’
The cups were designed by Ena. Messy paint strokes, and bad choice of color but one of the cups has a name Mafuyu painted onto it and Ena on the other cup.
Waves of nostalgia flooded to her senses once again. It hurts, but she’ll keep on trying; she’ll keep on grabbing on that hope. It has been years since they had their last conversation on this telephone. When was it? Ah right. When they were 8.
She ignored the pain that was forming in her heart. She quickly went to her bed again and knelt. This part of her day has always been nostalgic and painful to her.
The wind gently kissed her soft skin. Her hair was flowing ever so beautifully. “Mafuyu?” She softly whispered, but then she realized that it wasn’t supposed to be a whisper. She cursed to herself because of her idiotic mistake. “Mafuyu!” This time she loudly called out to her.
At this time Mafuyu should be in her room. It’s too early for her to sleep anyways because she would be studying in her room until 11 PM.
“Mafuyu! I know you’re in there!” she called out again, making her voice louder than her line before. Her patience was running out and she grew irritated at the dark purple haired girl. How could Mafuyu ignore her again and again?!
“Nghh…” she lowered her head while her hands gripped on the telephone cup. “Mafuyu! Answer me damn it!” she threw the telephone cup to the wall of the balcony. It obviously didn’t do any damage to the wall but the sound of the impact was clearly heard, but it was not too loud.
She gasped at her regrettable action. She cursed to herself once again because the telephone cup was one of the things that kept them connected. She doesn’t want to go outside right now because her feet cannot stand her walking again.
She decided to leave the telephone on the cold floor. Her hope for Mafuyu is fading. The thoughts of giving up were already surrounding Ena’s head. It doesn’t help that Mrs. Asahina forbade her from seeing or talking to the honor student. She was ready to cry at any given moment. She was feeling alone again.
“You said to keep on reaching out to you…You said to never give up on you.” her voice started to break. Before she even realized it, warm tears fell from the sides of her eyes. “Argh! Whatever! Fine!” she slammed the window shut and immediately closed the curtains.
How are you?
‘Maybe I should just stop doing this.’
That’s right. At some point, you have to realize that if you keep on chasing that certain person, you’ll be too pushy or force them to answer you, and Ena doesn’t want to be like that. It has been…What..8-9 years?
‘I think Mafuyu’s annoyed at me.’
At some point, someone will be annoyed at you if you keep on doing this even if they did or didn’t ask for it. It almost seems that you want them to open up or talk to you for your own desires and not theirs.
‘It has been a long time anyways. I’m sure she forgot about the promise.’
Ah right, the promise. When they were kids, Mafuyu would often tell Ena to never let her go, and to keep on chasing her forever. Ena was confused at the request because her mind was already set on Mafuyu, but agreed to it. But those words were a million years ago, no way Mafuyu would even stick by her words.
Sleeping.
‘Ah…I have nobody left.’
Ena hugged her knees close to her chest. Her back resting at the pink curtain. She was sobbing to herself.
‘Why does everybody have no time for me?’
Of course Ena has friends but it’s clearly just Airi and Mafuyu. Her brother doesn’t count because he’s busy singing or messing around with his blue haired partner anyways. Airi is too busy with her idol work, not like she even enjoys her variety shows. And Mafuyu…Just ignoring her like her existence was never there.
‘I’m alone…I feel so alone.’
It felt like nobody was there for her. Nobody even there for her highest. It has gotten so bad that she wishes for somebody to just be there for her when she’s happy and not when she needs comfort.
‘I want to…Sleep.’
The amount of tears she shed created a toll on her head. She became dizzy, eyes puffy, and small hics. The amount of effort she gave, and the fact it went to waste when her heart was already crushed by Mafuyu’s ignorant behavior and Mrs. Asahina’s request.
All she wants is to sleep forever.
Ding!
She looked at her phone that was on her side table. It was a youtube notification. She immediately grabbed the phone and saw that K, her favorite song artist, posted a new song. She happily smiled at the notification but her eyes looked like she hadn't seen the light of day.
She crawled back to her side table to grab her headphones to listen. She plugged it in the earphone hole and started to listen to the song.
K’s songs have been so comforting to her. Every time she listens to them, it feels like she could drown in this melody.
The struggles of being an artist and being alone suddenly fade away. She wants to stay in this moment. This very moment is a moment that she will treasure any day. Everyday has been stressful and miserable. She wants to be at peace.
Ding!
She checked her phone again, annoyed at the sound of the notification because she was listening to the song. Then she saw an Instagram notification. She hasn’t posted any pictures today but even so, the likes on her posts would still increase even after a few days.
Then she realized that she was in her art account. When she processed the notification she immediately opened it and it was a comment from…Her favorite song artist?!
K: Hello, I really like your art. Do you want to join our group? We can take this is Nightcord.
Ena’s face lit up, and it seems like there’s a new hope for her after all. A moment of happiness and excitement. Maybe this day wasn’t that bad after all.