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Derek sighed, he sighed like he always does every morning. More to himself, with his eyes closed, as he lay in bed, hearing Eli cry in his crib. Sometimes he wished it had been him because this life he lived didn’t fill him with anything other than longing- longing and hatred. But he couldn’t say that when he finally got up and went to his son’s crib. Watching Eli’s chubby face scrunch up, little legs kicking as he cried his puppy lungs out. That’s what Stiles called them,
“Derek I swear these puppy lungs of his are all you, def, not me.”
Reaching down to pick up his son, he brought him to his chest, patting his back as he walked him over to the changing table. Laying him down gingerly he hummed a lullaby under his breath as he changed the diaper. Eli wasn’t necessarily a fussy baby but lately, all he did was cry, it was like he knew something was amiss. And amiss would be correct, broken more accurate. Reaching over and getting a new onesie, he maneuvered his son into the yellow one with ducks.
“Omg Derek, these are going to be so cute, a little wolf wearing a duck onesie, cmon tell me that isn’t the cutest!”
Picking Eli back up, he placed him so his face was in his neck, he could feel him snuffle before settling, well settling enough where his cries were hiccuping but still there. “I know pup, I miss him too,” Derek mumbled, walking out of the room, large hand on the pup’s back, as they walked downstairs. Entering the kitchen, grabbed a clean bottle from the rack on the island and expertly gathered the ingredients for the bottle, pouring everything with one hand as he rocked back and forth, humming still. Placing the open bottle it in the pot of boiling water he had turned on when he started.
“Derek no! We are not microwaving our baby-pup’s milk in there. Boil the water in the pot and then place the bottle in there, it's why I had the fancy bottles on our registry!”
Derek smiled and whispered, “Check the temp, feed the pup.” almost to himself because Eli didn’t understand the reference. Turning off the stove he took the bottle out after a few and made sure the temperature was right. Turning he moved over to the den and sat on the couch he positioned Eli, looking down at him, it made Derek smile because his son looked back at him but with Stiles’s eyes. Clenching his jaw because he couldn’t just break down whenever he wanted, he leaned down and kissed the pup’s head, inhaling his scent before bringing the bottle up to feed him. He chuckled as he felt how hard his pup inhaled his milk, he lifted his eyes from looking at his son to the ugly blue chair in front of him, taking a deep breath he could almost make out Stiles's scent.
“Don’t give me that look Sourwolf, I like it, it’s blue and it has compartments and cup holders! It’ll be my comfy chair so I can feed Eli and my ass won’t hurt as it does in that rocking chair, also who told you a wooden rocking chair was smart?”
Eli spits the bottle out of his mouth, so Derek knew he was done and with most of the bottle gone, it was a fact. Placing the bottle on the coffee table in front of him, he lifted Eli and burped him, laughing at how loud it sounded, “There you go pup, whole neighborhood heard that one.” he stood up as he said it, continuing to pat the pup on the back until he knew he was done. He did his dad dance, at least that’s what Stiles called it.
“That’s a dance Derek, I just rock, you move around and change positions, it's like you're practicing a dance, it's why he loves you so much.”
“No he loves you more,” Derek whispered as he rocked Eli to sleep. He felt wetness on his cheeks, he didn’t stop or wipe them away but he made sure that was all that happened. That he didn’t break down or fall to his knees and scream because Stiles would haunt him until his last dying breath if he traumatized Eli that way. No, Derek had to stay sane for his son.
“D-Der, look at me. No Der, don’t. I know I’m not making it out of this one, okay?”
“Don’t say that baby, you’re going to be fine.”
“I love you, Der.”
Stiles had been bleeding out, as the pack fought. Scott had let omegas overstay their welcome, with his normal Scott behavior thinking everyone was okay. They attacked during the pack run during the full moon. Eli had been inside with the Sherrif, and Derek thanked the moon that’s how it was because he couldn’t have handled either of them seeing Stiles that way. Holding his husband's hand and watching him die.
He had called out to Scott when he heard them finish off the omegas. Scott had come running, skidding to a stop when he saw Stiles. “You have to bite him, Scott, please, he doesn’t have much time.” Derek had pleaded, only for Scott to tell him that Stiles had said he didn’t want the bite. Derek knew Stiles said that but it was when he was a teenager and he didn’t have a son and he didn’t have Derek. Everyone was on Derek’s side, begging Scott to do it but he stood steadfast, with his idiotic moral high ground.
Derek leaned down and kissed Stiles head, he could still hear his heartbeat and whispered, “Hang on baby, don’t leave me just yet.” before shifting, turning, and with all his strength jumping at Scott. Scott wasn’t prepared, Scott didn’t have a mate that was dying so he died quickly, with Derek ripping out his throat. He could feel the power flow through his veins, it made him howl. His howl was choked off when he tried to hear Stiles heartbeat, faint as it was before he attacked, but he heard nothing. Turning he dropped to his knees, reaching down he lifted Stiles by the back of his neck and bite into it but it was too late. He didn’t hear his heartbeat anymore. He screamed then, the betas cowered as he wrapped himself around his mate. He knew eventually Lydia had went inside and told the Sheriff because he felt arms encircle him and Stiles and heard sobs.
Shaking his head, he felt and heard the small puffs of air against his neck. He gently caressed the back of Eli’s head, thumb rubbing his cheek as he walked over to the bassinet they had down here. As slowly as he could, he placed Eli inside, lightly touching his nose only to see him snuffle. He stood back up and turned, his eyes catching his wedding photo of his and Stiles. He swallowed thickly, looking down at his white gold wedding ring and reaching up to touch the obsidian black ring on his necklace,
“I’ll meet you soon baby.” Derek whispered before he walked over and sat in the blue chair, ‘Stiles chair’. He kept rubbing the ring on his necklace as he remembered.
“No Derek, I’m sewing this label so that none of the heathens in our pack think they can just sit all willy-nilly in my seat!”
With his other hand, he ran his finger over the horrible stitching that read, “Stiles Hale’s Seat” with a sad smile. “Soon baby.”